Started on January 28, 2002

Completed on March 16, 2002

[Notes: March 16 - Sorry it took me so long ^_^;; I didn't realize until a month into writing this part that I absolutely hated it, which was why it was taking me so long to write. I got rid of the entire part and embarked on a major rewrite, followed by several more. See, I'm not really a delinquent writer... This part's a bit longer if that's any consolation ^_^]

I decided to actually address a timeline. I'll attempt to stay true to the anime but we'll see how far that goes. This begins between Curriculum 05 and Curriculum 06 (all the pilots are still breathing, kouhosei getting ready for the big pro-ing fight, whee).

This part picks up right where the part 2 left off, Hiead POV.

Dark and Light - Part 3

By Silver Kitsune

The room was quiet when I returned. I sidestepped the mess of Zero's blankets strewn across the floor, reaching into my drawer and pulling out a brush. I gave my damp hair a couple of strokes, wandering over to my bed to sit down.

My eyes drifted over the empty room. I frowned, dropping my brush to the bed. The quiet was almost... unsettling.

Usually I thrived on the silence but somehow I'd grown almost accustomed to Zero's incessant chatter filling my ears at all hours of the day. Maybe I'd even grown fond of it.

My frown deepened.

I stood up again and tossed my brush back into its drawer. I was heading towards the door when it suddenly opened.

"Ze~ ah, Hiead-kun," Clay greeted, sticking his head in the doorway. "Have you seen Zero?"

I shrugged, looking as disinterested as possible.

"I wonder where he could have gone to?" he pondered, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

I shrugged again.

Clay sighed. "Oh, well, it's time for breakfast, anyway. You ready to go down?"

I nodded and the two of us started out towards the cafeteria.

"I'm kind of surprised that Zero didn't come back to the room yet," Clay commented. "He was really excited about the test today. I thought he'd be back by now... I wonder why he was so upset? He's just moody like that, I guess. But how's your wrist? You seem to be using it fine."

I flexed my wrist slowly in its brace. "It feels perfectly fine."

Clay shook his head with a smile. "You would probably say that if it was on backwards and dangling by a string."

"Probably," I replied, letting my wrist settle back at my side.

Clay laughed softly and we entered into the cafeteria line. We took our trays and got our food, then set out across the cafeteria.

"Over here!" Yamagi called, waving us over.

Clay and I made our way over to his table and sat down.

"Hey, guys," Yamagi greeted.

"Good morning, Yamagi," Clay replied, settling his tray in front of him.

Yamagi took a quick glance around. "Where's Zero?"

"I'm not quite sure... He took off early this morning and I haven't seen him since," Clay said.

"That's weird..." Yamagi commented, taking a bite of his breakfast.

Clay nodded his agreement. "Especially since he was so excited about today."

"I don't blame him," Yamagi commented, grinning. "Today is going to be awesome."

"It will certainly be interesting," Clay replied.

"Mm... we'll be learning all about the Pro-Ings. And we'll actually get to pilot them next week..."

I felt a flicker of annoyance. Today's curriculum was exceptionally important. And yet I wouldn't be able to participate in most of it. My fist clenched reflexively.

"I think it will be a great learning experience," Clay commented, leaning forward.

"And it will be the closest that we can get to piloting the Megami for a while," Yamagi added.

"Plus, it's going to be totally cool!" Zero declared, plopping his tray down next to mine.

"Zero-kun," Clay greeted. "You're looking cheerful."

Zero grinned at him brightly.

"When isn't he cheerful?" Yamagi muttered.

Zero just continued to grin. "At least I don't walk around with a stick up my ass all of the time."

An elbow to my side informed me that this comment was about me. Because I really needed the clarification.

"Moron," I muttered, bringing my fork up to my lips.

Yamagi and Clay exchanged a look.

Zero pursed his lips, his eyes narrowing. Then a slow smile crept across his face. "You know, it's too bad that you won't be able to participate in today's curriculum. I mean, wow, you're going to be so far behind the rest of us..."

I felt an eyebrow twitch.

"Doesn't it just drive you crazy?" Zero taunted cheerfully.

My eyes drifted over to his in agitation. "Zero," I murmured warningly. My glare was softened, though, by the hurt lurking within those sky blue depths.

"I was only trying to be sympathetic to your inadequacies," Zero declared, tearing his eyes away from mine. "It's such a shame that you won't get to pilot a pro-ing until long after the rest of us..."

My fork stabbed into my eggs a little harder than I intended.

Zero leaned back in his chair and smirked triumphantly.

And here I'd almost cared for a moment.

"I see the dog will beg for any scraps thrown in his direction," I commented, taking a bite of my eggs. Not my snappiest comeback, but sure to be effective.

There was a pause.

"Uh-oh..." Clay murmured, pushing himself to his feet. Yamagi followed in suit.

They weren't quick enough.

"I'm so sick of this *shit*," Zero growled, shoving me from my seat.

I caught myself on the table before I could hit the ground. Steadying myself, I strode forward and grabbed Zero by his shirt collar, yanking him toward me.

Zero glared up at me. "Let go," he said authoritatively.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Zero-kun, Hiead-kun..." Clay said, trying to reason with us.

We ignored him.

"Let go," Zero repeated, still glaring at me. His eyes were filled with fire, burning and passionate.

"Come on, now, you can work this out," Clay commented nervously, trying to get between us.

I knocked him away with my free hand. "This is between me and Zero."

Clay stumbled backwards, and Yamagi helped steady him.

"Zero?" Clay implored, his eyes lingering on the sprained wrist clutching Zero's shirt.

"Daijobu, Clay," Zero murmured, not taking his eyes from mine. "I can handle this."

"Can you?" I asked, tightening my grip.

A slow smirk worked its way across his mouth. With that defiant look in his eyes, he reached a hand up and pressed it over mine. He looked as though he were daring me to make the next move.

We stood there for a few moments, eyes locked.

I felt my fingers slowly unclench and release the white material clutched between them.

"Good choice," Zero chirped. Then he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of the cafeteria.

"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, acutely aware of the eyes of the entire cafeteria watching our retreat.

"Well, I've been thinking..." he began, still dragging me behind him.

I shook his hand off of my arm in irritation. "That's a-"

"Don't even say it," Zero said, waggling a finger at me. "Anyway, at the rate we're going, we'll probably get ourselves kicked out of GOA in no time."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Remember what Clay said? About deductions for fighting?"

"I remember, I'm just surprised that you do," I replied.

"Hey, I listen sometimes..." Zero protested. "And this is important. I'm not going to throw away all of my dreams just because you find the inexplicable drive to pick a fight with me at every moment of the day."

"Me? Don't blame this all on me. You're driving down a two way street, Precious."

Zero sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, yeah, fine, whatever. The point is that we have to settle this thing between us."

"And how do you propose we do that?" I asked, leaning against the doorway as Zero fumbled to get the door to our room open.

Zero reached out and pulled me through the door after him. I was surprised to feel his arms wrap around my waist as he kicked the door shut behind us.

"Hiead..." he murmured, tucking his head under my chin.

I could feel his hair tickling the bottom of my nose. The soft scent of Zero's shampoo wafted up into my nose. I felt my arms slip around his slender frame.

He looked up at me, almost shyly. He slowly leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. I could feel him gently tugging on my bottom lip, his shy kiss still brimming with inexperience. It was... cute.

Yet there was something more to it. I found myself pulling him closer, one hand slipping down the arch of his back while the other became lost in his soft mass of hair.

I'd never experienced such emotion behind a kiss.

It made me feel... I don't know how it made me feel. Vulnerable... yet safe.

Zero's mouth finally retreated from mine, his eyes still closed.

I suddenly felt empty. I pulled Zero closer, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. It was so clear right then, how much I needed him. He was the only one who could take it all away.

"Are we okay?" Zero whispered into my shoulder.

"Aa," I replied, stroking his hair.

We stood there quietly, and for a moment everything was perfect.

However, I was brought crashing back into reality by the sound of the door opening.

Zero and I hastily drew apart, our eyes on the doorway. Clay and Yamagi slowly popped their heads into the room, eyes darting around nervously.

"Na, you haven't killed each other, have you?" Yamagi asked, looking us up and down, probably checking for gushing blood wounds or something of the like.

Zero laughed cheerfully, slinging an arm around my shoulder. "Don't worry about us, I think we've reached an understanding."

I shook his arm away. With a muttered "hn", I pushed past Clay and Yamagi and left the room.

"Nice talking to you!" Zero called after me, amusement lacing his voice.

I crossed my arms over my chest and quickened my pace down the hallway.

I was a complete and total idiot.

* * * * *

Azuma frowned, leaning forward, eyes intent on the battle in front of him. Yamagi and Clay were the first two to participate in the simulation, but the fight was quickly drawing to a close.

"AI-EEEEEEEEEEE!" Clay cried as Yamagi struck the finishing blow.

Azuma sighed, dropping his cigarette and crushing it with his toe. "That was certainly interesting..." he murmured. "Though I have one question. Clay Cliff Fortran, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!"

Clay laughed nervously. Saki sighed and collapsed over the console.

Azuma proceeded to ream Clay out, much to Zero's amusement.

"Haha, sucks to be Clay," he told me, a huge smile plastered across his face.

I closed my eyes, trying to tune out the sounds of the room. This day could not get any worse...

Today's curriculum was a pro-ing simulation similar to the Cueval, only instead of fighting against a computer, you battled against another person. The data from these battles would be used to determine our partners in the pro-ing battle next week.

I absently started rubbing at my bandaged wrist, a bad habit I'd picked up recently.

Damn Zero, it was all his fault anyway.

My eyes slid open, flicking over to where Zero was getting ready to go into the next simulation. He caught me watching him and waved cheerfully.

I looked away, cradling my wrist to my chest.

I couldn't believe I was letting him get to me.

When I had first met Zero, I'd hated him. And I still do. Vehemently, in fact. But it's everything that I hate about him that makes me... that draws me to him.

Damn him.

"88. Be quiet and get into the simulator."

"Ha~i!"

"Oi, Zero, hurry it up."

"Don't worry, Yamagi, it will only be a short wait until I kick your ass!"

"Pilot, quit the trash talk and do your systems check."

"Already on it, Kizna!"

"Gah..."

I let my eyes drift over the scene. Azuma was jotting something down on his clipboard before his eyes quickly returned to the scene in front of him. His eyes settled onto Zero. His favorite.

Azuma's preference for Zero was blaringly obvious. He rode Zero harder than the rest of us and always went out of his way to make Zero work harder than anyone else. Zero certainly was a talented pilot, I won't argue that. But he's reckless and he doesn't think. Despite this, he's managed to become the instructor's favorite and one of the top new candidates, even if he doesn't realize it himself.

Why does everything get handed to him on a silver platter? He's never had to experience life the way I have. He probably doesn't even know what real pain is. And I hate him for it, God, I hate him.

My fingers slowly stroked up and down my arm, trying to soothe the tension away.

"87."

I looked up in surprise. Azuma still hadn't taken in eyes from the battle that had just commenced, but he was waving me over to him.

I strode over to the railing, leaning over it beside Azuma.

"How long until that brace of yours comes off?" he asked, eyes still watching forward.

"One more week," I answered.

"Hm..."

I looked over to him questioningly, wondering what he was getting at.

"Zero! Don't get sick now!" Kizna cried.

"I can't help it," Zero whined, his voice muffled by the hand over his mouth.

Azuma shook his head with a sigh. "That moron..." he muttered.

"Snap out of it, Yamagi's coming right for you!" Kizna cried.

"I noticed..." Zero muttered.

I studied Zero's hunched over figure on the monitor in front of us. He forced himself to stand upright, his hand still gripped over his mouth.

"Pilot, in range now!" Tsukasa announced.

"About time!" Yamagi cheered as he started firing at Zero.

Zero started maneuvering his pro-ing to avoid the blasts, though his movements were somewhat awkward.

"Come on, Zero, stay with me," Kizna urged. "I know you can do this."

"You know it and I know it, but my body doesn't seem to want to agree..."

"Pilot, you may engage in hand-to-hand combat," Tsukasa stated.

"Ryokai," Yamagi said, launching his pro-ing toward Zero's.

The two began to battle, trying to find an advantage over the other.

"Your wrist feels fine?"

I turned my attention back to Azuma. "Hai."

Azuma tapped his chin thoughtfully. "She doesn't have to know..." he mused.

I blinked. "She doesn't..." I began to repeat. Then I smiled as I understood his meaning.

"I'll have you come in for a special curriculum a few days before the pro-ing lesson," he said.

"Who will be my opponent?" I asked.

"Don't worry, I've got someone in mind," Azuma replied, returning his full attention to Zero and Yamagi's battle.

I flipped my eyes over the two figures fighting on the screen, then made a slow retreat. I already knew the outcome of the match. At the moment they seemed equally matched, but...

As I stepped out the door, I heard Zero's triumphant whoop.

"Here it comes!" Zero cried.

The sound of explosions filled the small room.

"Zero, you did it!" Kizna cheered.

The door slammed shut over the sound of Zero's victory laugh.

* * * * *

I flopped down onto my bed, tossing an arm over my eyes. I hadn't really been sleeping well, so I felt tired.

The problem was, when I closed my eyes I would see it. Those hands reaching out, trying to take me, those voices whispering in my ear. An involuntary whimper escaped my lips. I couldn't deal with this anymore, I couldn't hold it all inside. I needed Zero.

I wanted to feel his body pressed up against mine, to feel his warm breath on my face, to feel his soft hair under my fingertips. When I was with him, I could let the world fade away.

No, no, that was wrong. Zero was just my plaything, something to keep me entertained while I was bored. I was letting him get under my skin. I had to put a stop to this immediately. Zero needed a friendly reminder that I still hated him and that I was the one in control.

Interrupting my thoughts was none other than the object himself.

"Hiea~d," came a sing-songy voice.

I heard the bed creak and soon found Zero's body slowly snaking up my own.

"Are you awake?" he asked, drumming lightly on my chest.

"No," I replied.

Zero laughed, pulling my arm from off of my eyes.

"You're awfully playful," I commented, eyeing him carefully.

"Ah, you missed my glorious pro-ing victory," Zero said, grinning triumphantly.

"Hn."

Zero smiled, running a hand through my hair. "You're so cute when you say that."

"Cute?" I repeated, raising an eyebrow.

Zero continued to grin.

I let my hand slip up the back of his shirt, drawing lazy patterns on his warm back. "Where's Clay?"

Zero nestled his head against my chest, purring contentedly. "He... went somewhere with Saki. Won't be back for a while."

"Really?"

"Mm."

I continued to trace shapes across Zero's back, reveling in the contrast of his warm skin against my cool fingertips.

Zero smiled up at me from under half-lidded eyes. "Feels nice..."

I almost started to smile back.

It was happening again. I was completely losing myself in him.

Damn him.

I quickly retracted my hand, causing Zero to mumble a protest into my shoulder. After lying there for a few minutes, Zero finally looked up at me. He propped himself up on one elbow, letting the other arm drape freely across my chest.

I frowned at him, angry that he looked so happy.

"What is it?" he asked, looking confused. He glanced down at our two bodies that had begun to become intertwined. "Is this... not all right? I mean, I thought after this morning... but... well, I mean... if you don't want me to... anou... I can go-"

I silenced him with a quick but firm kiss. "This is fine," was all I said.

Zero looked relieved. "Okay..."

"In fact..." Now a much more interesting thought crossed my mind. "You said Clay won't be back for a while?"

"Aa," he said, smiling cheerfully.

He was so, so innocent.

I pulled him into my arms, rolling onto him so I could pin him to the bed, capturing his lips in a lingering kiss as I did so.

I'd just have to change that, now wouldn't I?

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~