Started on January 16, 2003
Completed on May 26, 2003
Thanks for all of your support, it keeps me writing ^_^
This part really overlaps with Curriculum 06: Pro-Ing. As I don't feel like I need to retell the entire episode, I've left a lot out. I've tried to provide enough information so that you can understand what is going on within the context of the episode. If you're not overly familiar with the episode, you can flip through the episode transcript on my webpage, but I don't think that it's essential to the story. I was very pleased to find, though, that my inconsistent and random timeline seemed to actually begin to blend in very well with the actual MK timeline, though there may be a couple inconsistencies. I can tell you exactly what they are, but what would be the fun in that? Pretend that it's AU.
I apologize for any lack of flow between parts... seeing as how I've been writing this for a year and a half, I think I've lost my original vision...
Please excuse any attempts on my behalf to create a plot. It is a passing triviality, I'm sure.
Now make Kitsune stop rambling and start writing.
Dark and Light - Part 7
By Silver Kitsune
"I can't believe you."
Zero sat across the room from me, his arms crossed firmly over his chest as he sulked.
I glared at him, trying to ignore the pain in my head.
"Don't look at me like that," Zero said with a scowl. "Don't act like you're the victim here."
"You slammed my head into a wall," I replied evenly. "Several times."
"Well you were kind of pissing me off!" Zero snapped. He looked away, running a hand through his hair. "I can't believe you..."
The motion of turning his head revealed the trail of bites up and down his neck. He really wasn't going to be able to cover that up... I also noted the bloody cut stretching down his arm which may have been a result of my perhaps being a bit too aggressive with him. Then I remembered my throbbing headache and wished that I'd left a few more marks on him before he flipped out on me and started slamming my head into the wall.
Zero finally looked up at me again, looking a little less pissed but still not overly pleased with me. "I don't understand you at all."
I don't know if he was expecting a response, but I wasn't exactly in the mood for some sort of deep conversation. I had bared more of my soul than I ever wanted or intended to earlier, and I certainly didn't want a repeat of that incident.
Zero sighed, leaning in toward me. "I just want to make one thing abundantly clear." He startled me by reaching out and squeezing my cheeks.
I didn't quite know how to react, so I just stared at him.
"You are screwed up," he informed me, looking straight into my eyes "You need help," he continued, punctuating each syllable with a slap to my cheeks.
If he wasn't Zero, I think I might have killed him.
"Also, I was just wondering if your failed attempt to violate me just now would coincide with your assertion that we end our relationship," Zero continued. "You see, I'm kinda getting mixed signals here." He meant it to sound playful, but I could tell that he was pissed.
"You obviously misunderstood." I really wasn't in the mood for a pleasant conversation. Plus, I found it wildly entertaining to annoy the hell out of Zero. "I only wanted to end our emotional relationship. Not our sexual relationship."
Zero almost choked as I got out that last statement. He shook his head and rolled his eyes, trying to hide the blush creeping to his cheeks. "You are such an ass..."
"But isn't that why you love me?" I asked, pressing my forehead to his. I let my fingers slide down his cheek and brush over his lips, a bit of my trademark smirk lingering at my mouth.
Zero backed away with a start.
I frowned at him. I wasn't used to rejection like that. Not from Zero.
"Stop teasing me," Zero muttered, refusing to meet my eyes.
"Who's teasing?" I asked with a scowl.
Zero shook his head angrily. "I'm so sick of your mind games..."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
"Like you haven't made it more than abundantly clear that I'm just your plaything..."
"..."
"Don't rush to deny it or anything."
I didn't really know how to respond to this. He was right, after all.
Wasn't he?
"..."
"That's what I thought..." Zero commented with a bitter laugh.
God, he made me feel so weak. "Zero..."
He met my gaze coldly, blue eyes clawing into my own. "Don't use that tone with me. Don't go from heartless bastard to sympathetic lover. You can't just push me away and then drag me back. Make a goddamn choice, you can either have me or you can live without me, but you don't get it both ways. I'm not playing your stupid game anymore. Ball's in your court, Precious."
I sat through Zero's ranting silently. I didn't really know what to say. Make a decision? What decision was there to make? Zero was first and foremost my enemy, and nothing would please me more than to destroy him, slowly and painfully. He was an obstacle in the path of becoming a pilot, his very existence a threat to my own.
Unfortunately, somewhere along the line I had come to find that Zero's life was intrinsically linked to my own, that I somehow needed his presence just to breath.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I never needed anyone before, and I certainly didn't need someone now. I turned my attention back to Zero, who apparently wasn't expecting an immediate response as he ignored me and began settling into bed.
"It's the middle of the afternoon."
"I'm tired."
"Whatever," I muttered, taking my leave from the room.
I hated that stupid bastard.
* * * * *
Azuma barely looked up from his clipboard as Ikhny and I entered the room. "Set up the simulation," he commented as he jotted something down.
"Hai!" Ikhny squeaked as she hustled over to the main console.
I started towards the simulation device, but Azuma held up his hand to signal for me to stop. I paused, waiting for him to speak.
"You're okay to do this?" he asked, looking me carefully in the eyes.
I glanced down at the long-forgotten sprained wrist, then let my gaze meet Azuma's. "Of course."
Azuma snorted as he returned to his clipboard. "I guess it was a rhetorical question... Oh, well, you better get set up."
I prepared to enter into the simulation device, though first noting that the room was empty besides Azuma. My opponent had not arrived yet.
Ikhny began to run the system checks. Sometime during the checks another two people entered into the room. Ikhny continued with the preparatory work, though I could sense her surprise.
"Heart sensor... online..." Ikhny murmured. "Visual sensors... connected..."
"Who's my opponent?" I demanded.
"Well, it's... oh, um, brain sensor... connected..." Ikhny quickly finished up the check, making sure that everything was hooked up properly.
Azuma's voice suddenly boomed over the intercom system. "Each pilot will be engaging in a simulation in which the objective is to take out the enemy. The point of this exercise is to prepare for the pro-ing battle tomorrow, so fight your hardest so I can evaluate you properly. The battle will commence in one minute."
"Pilot ready?" Ikhny asked quietly.
"Yes."
"Okay, connecting final circuit."
As the simulation began to power up, I concentrated on the sound of Ikhny's voice as she went over the final check. There was no need to forget where I was and get lost in the past. Who knows what I would remember if I let go of myself again like during the Cueval test.
"Battle commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."
My eyes began to dart around me as I attempted to visually pinpoint the enemy.
"Your opponent is 10 kilometers to the north of you," Ikhny informed me.
I immediately activated my boosters and set off in that direction. Soon the enemy pro-ing was in my sights and I prepared my weapon.
"Aghhhhh, please don't kill me!" the other pilot cried, sloppily brandishing his sword in an attempt to block the attack.
"Roose Sawamura?" I murmured to myself, somewhat surprised. Had he already returned from his dieting? Oh, well, it had nothing to do with me. I went in for the kill.
"Wrecka-chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
* * * * *
I felt somewhat agitated as Ikhny and I left the training room. "That was a waste of my time..."
Ikhny looked up at me and cautiously said, "You had to do it so you could participate in the pro-ing battle tomorrow."
I glared at her.
She looked away quickly, biting her lip nervously.
I smirked to myself, amused by how well I had Ikhny trained. Kind of like a dog.
If only that other brown-haired idiot was as well-trained...
The door to the training room opened again as Roose and Wrecka emerged from it.
"Um, thank you for the match," Roose said, smiling at me cheerfully.
I just brushed by him without a word.
Ikhny bowed apologetically then followed me down the hall.
"How was he able to lose so much weight so quickly?" Ikhny murmured, taking a quick glance back at the now skinny Roose.
"It's rather obvious," I replied, annoyed with her obliviousness.
"It is?" Ikhny asked, glancing up at me in surprise.
"Don't you feel it?" I snapped, gesturing back towards the green-haired boy.
"Feel what?" Ikhny asked, looking confused.
"His EX," I replied as I gave her a pointed look, telling her that this conversation was over. I really didn't understand her need for socialization.
Ikhny began to trail behind me, lost in thought.
Behind us, Roose and Wrecka parted ways as the two set out to make their final preparations for the pro-ing battle. Roose began to hum to himself as he made his way down the hallway. It was then that he spotted several familiar faces making their way towards him. He immediately called out to them, overjoyed to see the rest of his fellow candidates.
"Ya~ma~gi~kuuuun!"
* * * * *
I poked my fork absently into my food, not really paying much attention to it. I had more important things on my mind. My eyes lingered on Zero, Yamagi, and Clay attempting to force-feed Roose. They all seemed genuinely happy as they enjoyed their reunion. Of course no one seemed to notice that one person was missing. This didn't really matter to me, of course, as I would rather die than be forced to socialize with those morons. What was drawing me in was that huge smile of Zero's. What the hell was he so happy about?
I wondered if he was even thinking about what had happened earlier. About us. About me. But really, what could I expect from that moron? He was probably still excited about finding out that we would be teaming up with the top candidates for the pro-ing battle.
Did anything ever keep him down? He was always happy. It was like a disease. I often wonder if its just a front, but other times I believe that he really is that oblivious to the real world. He has no idea what true suffering is.
He hasn't lived through the hell I have.
I watched him smile as he opened Roose's mouth in an attempt to shove food down his throat. Despite his devilish actions, his eyes still held that innocent sparkle.
Wasn't he the least bit upset anymore?
I watched as he started talking to Kizna. Grinning, he leaned in to whisper something to her.
How could he act like everything was normal?
Whatever he said upset Kizna, and she started screaming at him as she pummeled is head with her tiny fists.
I rose to my feet and gathered up my tray. I decided to head off to the training room. I needed to kill something.
* * * * *
I felt calm as I returned to the room that night. There was always something soothing about stabbing inanimate objects multiple times. I settled into bed, ready for a restful night's sleep before the pro-ing matches tomorrow.
Sleep was soon interrupted by Zero's giddy insomnia.
I sat up in annoyance, taking aim and beaning Zero in the head with my pillow. I made sure to yell at him and call him a brat. This caused an immediate retaliation from Zero, which had to be quelled by our resident mediator Clay. So, really, it was just a typical night.
I don't know when it was that I started feel comfortable with this ridiculous routine of ours, but it bothered me.
Any attempt to fall asleep was now thwarted, so I was left to stare at the wall and sink into the solitude of my thoughts. I've never liked the night. It's the only time when all of my locked away feelings are able to reemerge to haunt me.
I watched as the wall began to drip. The slick liquid slid down the wall, making its slow descent until it reached the floor, forming into a shivering red puddle. I felt my eyes widen as something cold slipped down my cheek. I glanced up, realizing that the liquid was now dripping from the ceiling onto my face. I detected a faint odor slowly saturating the air. The smell began to grow stronger as the liquid began to pour into the room, surrounding me from all sides. The sticky liquid began to cover my skin, a familiar sensation overtaking me.
Blood.
It covered every part of my body, filling my every breath, infusing into every part of my being. I couldn't breathe anymore, it was suffocating me. I could feel my eyes rolling back and my consciousness beginning to fade...
Zero cried out suddenly, sitting up in his bed with heaving breaths.
I forced myself back into wakefulness, shaking away the vision.
Why do I even care? I am far beyond human emotions; I have no need for such frivolities. So why is it that I am haunted by such dark memories? I used to believe that I was above having a conscience, that I held no responsibility for my actions. The only thing that mattered was survival. Anything that I had to do to achieve this was unimportant.
So why did I let it bother me?
I glanced over at Zero, who was now lying on his back, staring quietly up at the ceiling.
Somewhere, somehow, this all had to be his fault.
I was fine before I met Zero. An occasional nightmare here, an occasional memory there, but looking back, it seems to me that it was after I came to GOA and met Zero that these thoughts truly began to plague me.
It's almost as though meeting Zero allowed me to start... feeling again. Like he was making me human again.
The thought disgusted me.
"What are you looking at?" Zero hissed, trying to keep his voice down in a rare show of consideration for the people around him.
"Baby have a bad dream?" I snapped back, noting the beads of sweat covering his face.
"Why yes, thank you for noticing," Zero growled, glaring at me.
"Would you two shut up and go to sleep?!" Clay cried, his voice sounding heavy and tired.
I scowled at Zero, then turned around to face the wall.
"Sorry," Zero muttered, but as he spoke he was sliding off of his bed. He pattered across the room quietly, then sat at the edge of my bed.
"What are you doing?"
"I can't sleep."
"And I care why?"
"You can't sleep either."
"And neither can I since a certain brown-haired idiot won't shut the hell up and go to sleep!" Clay half-screeched, pulling his pillow over his head to cover his ears.
"Sorry..." Zero called over to Clay energetically, then lowered his voice to a whisper. "You feeling okay?" he asked me.
"Just fine," I whispered shortly.
"Then why are you shaking and covered in sweat?" Zero replied, brushing bangs out of my eyes.
"Why are you too scared to go back to sleep?" I countered as I angrily swatted his hand away, my hair slipping back down onto my face
"I'm not scared."
"Then why are you sitting here talking to me instead of sleeping?"
"Okay, so maybe I am slightly averse toward the idea of sleeping at the moment..."
"And what do you want me to do about it?"
Zero was silent for a moment, then grinned. "Tell me a sto~ry."
"How about I kick your ass instead..."
"Really, you're so moody. Would it kill you to be pleasant every once and a while?"
"Possibly."
Zero laughed softly, his fingers making another pass through my hair. "You're so cute sometimes, you know that?"
I caught his hand, removing it from my hair and sharply replacing it at his side. "Zero, go to bed."
"Can't. I'm not really tired anymore..."
"Then maybe you shouldn't have taken a nap in the middle of the afternoon."
"Who was napping? I just laid in bed for an hour, staring at the ceiling and cursing your name."
"So that's why I was sneezing..."
"Ah-ha, the curse is already working!"
"I hope you realize that if you are not off of my bed within the next 10 seconds that I will physically remove you..."
"Oooh, promise?"
"Zero."
"Can't I just stay here for tonight?"
"No."
"Pleeeeease."
"Signs point to no."
"Hiead~"
"Zero."
"Come on, I don't feel like being alone right now."
"So by moving a grand total of 10 feet across the room and invading my personal space, you will no longer be alone?"
"Yep, pretty much, so can I stay?"
"How many different ways are there to say no?"
"Three hundred and twenty nine."
"You're not getting any closer to staying."
Zero's eyes suddenly turned serious. "Hiead, please?" He began rubbing his arms with his hands as if he were cold. "I don't feel so great..."
"Why is this my problem?"
Zero chose to ignore me and continued speaking. "I... that dream I had... I mean, what kind of person can't remember their own mother's face?"
"A pretty shitty one," I growled, glaring at him.
"Gee, thanks..." Zero muttered, averting his eyes and acting like a wounded puppy dog.
Oh, poor Zero, he couldn't remember his mommy's face. At least he had a mother. That spoiled brat. He didn't know what true troubles were. He hadn't started out in the pits of hell and been forced to claw his way out. He didn't have to work for anything, it was all just handed to him.
"Come back to me when you have a real problem," I said turning away from him.
Zero let out a strangled sound that seemed as though he was choking back tears. "What do you know? You think you're the only person in the world who's had a tough life?"
I chose to ignore him. It's not worth arguing with ignorant people. It's usually better to pound them into the ground, but I was starting to feel tired again and decided to be generous.
Zero got up and walked around the bed. He crouched down next to me and looked me in the eye.
"Hiead."
I glared at him.
"I know you don't want to be alone, either," he said, pressing his hand gently to my cheek.
I caught his hand again only to find Zero's lips pressed to the tip of my nose.
I don't understand why he feels the need to always provoke me, but even more than that I don't quite know why I sometimes let him get away with it.
"Do whatever you want..." I growled, closing my eyes.
I was forced to reopen my eyes as Zero pulled up my sheets and elbowed me sharply. "Move over."
I watched as he settled down next to me.
"Comfortable?"
"Actually, your arm is digging into my hip. You think you could move over a bit?"
"I could push you off this bed."
"Ya know, the pain is starting to grow on me."
"You're such a loser," I muttered, rolling onto my stomach and tossing my arm over him.
Zero chose wisely to not comment on my accommodation.
I was surprised to find that I was now quite comfortable and easily drifted off into sleep.
* * * * *
I awoke to the sound of the alarm clock. I attempted to reach out and turn it off, only to find that my arm had been fettered down by Zero's vise-like grip. I also discovered that I had my head tucked under his chin and was settled against him in a position that seemed to distinctly be some form of cuddling.
I did not even know that word was in my vocabulary.
I quickly extricated myself from that vile position and turned off the alarm clock.
Zero and Clay continued to sleep away.
I stood up and ran a tired hand through my hair, watching the steady rise and fall of Zero's chest.
Dammit, he made me feel so weak.
I dug out my clothes for the day and stormed off to the shower.
It was so obvious, really.
I leaned into the scalding spray, letting the water burn at my skin.
I couldn't let him know.
I closed my eyes, my hand clenching into an involuntary fist.
He'd gotten to me...
I turned off the water and started drying off.
I had feelings for Zero.
It was undeniable.
But I'd be damned if he or anyone else ever found out.
He made me feel weak. Therefore, I had to assert my dominance.
He wanted me to make a choice?
I'd make a choice.
Zero was about to experience my fury in full force.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Hopefully only one more part to go. I'm prepared to write the hell out of this story and finish it within the month. So we're looking for part 8 out next October?
Comments? Criticisms? Please post a review, it will be greatly appreciated.