[The Guy]:
Disclaimer: No I do not own any original works by J.K. Rowling (even though I wish I did), nor her characters et al.
Chapter One: "where we lay our scene…"
Big biceps. It always came down to big biceps. Whenever I even remotely consider attempting to think about looking at a cute girl, she invariably reads my mind, checks my biceps and ignores me. Its not as if I'm the bottom of the barrel… I do have a few abs. Okay maybe just one, all right, the beginnings of one, but I'm not that bad looking… am I?
I slouched over to the mirror, desperate to prove my point. I stood at five feet nine, with a thick mop of black hair on my head, untidily mussed up and fiercely sprouting in all directions. A pair of brown eyes stared back at me, as I examined my slightly larger nose, and off-white almost straight teeth. Okay, maybe I wasn't exactly the catch of the day, but I was still better than average… right?
Who was I trying to kid, the truth about why they ignored me was staring me in the face. Literally. I slumped back into bed, now down in a blue funk about life, as any ordinary teenager without the resources for mass plastic surgery would at occasions feel. To make things worse, my parents were actually planning to transfer me to some funny voodoo school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Jabber. Okay, maybe not exactly Jabber, but I mean, what's wrong with Ridgemount High? I may not be the most popular guy there, but at least I have my social circle. Even if my circle only consists of two, but that's infinitely better than going alone into some weird school!
I'm not even sure why the school wants me there. According to them, they needed to fulfill a certain 'Muggle' requirement in their third year class, because the last one died of some funny disease, and I was it. What bull. They probably need another funny 'Muggle' thing in order to qualify for tax rebates or something, and that's why they were desperate enough to offer me a full scholarship. Even said I was a "late developer Muggle". I wonder if 'Muggles' are rare, priceless geniuses. It would be around time I actually excelled in something.
Lets see… speaking about this topic, this Hogwarts place actually promised to send me an official admission letter if my parents were amiable to the arrangement, which they definitely were, considering the sheer number of complaints they were receiving about mine leering. I wasn't leering! Really! I was just admiring Karen's nice skirt, and I guess I didn't bother to look away. It was more interesting than Algebra, after all, who needs to know all about axes and whys and zees, definitely not me! Anyway, I'd rather not go too far down that line of thought, since I guess it was over, and there was no point crying over split milk.
" Mom! Have you gotten any official looking letter addressed to Yours Truly yet?" I yelled from my room, too lazy to go down the stairs to check for myself.
" No, I haven't! You don't think they've forg…" I got all I needed to know from the first part of the statement, and I definitely didn't want to hear the second. False hope was not something I would encourage myself to harbor, especially since adults tend to leave you on cliffhangers before actually revealing that they knew a long time ago. Demented people, those adults, must be something about adulthood that fries every part of them that used to be fun, leaving only the disciplinarian parts.
Anyway, what with the funny name of the school, they'll probably send a funny warty wild pig to deliver me the letter or something. I hope they forget my address, or send it to fat Martin down the street… but wait, what's that brown speck in the sky doing? Are they filming remakes of Superman? It seems to be getting bigger… and bigger and…
"WHOA CRAP!"
I jumped back away from the window just as a feathery brown missile slammed into my window and drooped slowly down to the first floor, high-pitched scratching noises coming from outside my glass window. Stupid birds, no wonder they're endangered. Opening the window, I looked down to see the ruddy owl climbing up slowly and gently letting itself into my room. Hmm. At least they have manners… they knock before they enter. Though at that speed it might have well knocked the bucket, if you get my drift.
A high-pitched hoot interrupted my thoughts, and I saw the owl sticking out a leg towards me. Did it want to shake? I thought only dogs knew tricks. Oh wait. What's this? A letter… could it be that Hogwarts School making a first impression? I untied the brown string from the brown paper envelope from the brown owls. Maybe brown is the school color, I mused to myself. I unrolled the envelope and saw…
"To: Kiryo Xanthos.
The Second Room above the stairs.
26, Holly Road
London, England."
Holy heavens! They knew my name! Oh wait. My mum would have filled up an application form. D'oh. But how did they know I lived in the 'Second Room above the stairs' … Mom wouldn't have told them… that's too personal. Something's not right… so thinking, I slipped the letter opener into the groove and gave it a sharp tug…
-End Chapter 1-
[All right. The guy signs out. Wait for the girl now. Comments appreciated. This is my first attempt using a completely personal first person style. I'm more used to being someone omnipresent. Wait for the girl. Unabridged, Unedited, Completely GUY stuff as of 10/7/03]
You chill dudes, and have a nice day
-luZ` [the guy]