"How do you feel?" Adam asked, helping me sit up from a cold steel
bed in the lab.
"Empty," I managed to whisper. Adam didn't seem satisfied so I added, "cold."
"I'll get you a blanket," Shalimar offered before the other two could. They all stood in the doorway, ready to get me anything I wanted. They would have brought me the crown jewels if I had asked.
Shalimar still had the sense to look for Adam's approval before leaving. He nodded slightly and she disappeared behind Brennan and Jesse.
My gaze was transfixed on a cabinet near the floor. It was almost unbearable to be near my friends. They seemed so distant and removed even though they were at the door. Brennan was watching me closely, but I didn't know what he was thinking. Jesse was trying to look anywhere but at me, which led him to stare at his feet. Proxy Blue was saying something in another room. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew what it was about. The big explosion at the harbor, caused by an electrical fire colliding with an oil barrel. Brennan caused the electrical fire, but Proxy would never know.
I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. It was too hard.
"Emma?" Adam asked, trying to get me to focus. "Emma."
I opened my eyes and found myself looking straight into his. Yesterday I would have known what he was feeling and what I should say and do, but his eyes weren't the window to his soul anymore. They were the same, I wasn't.
"Emma, do you think you could find the agent who did this if I gave you some pictures?" he asked.
"Maybe," I whispered, not daring to actually talk. It didn't seem safe yet.
He looked over to Brennan and nodded. He disappeared, leaving Jesse alone. He looked like he desperately wanted to put his arms around me and hold me until I felt better, but he knew it wouldn't.
Shalimar came back with the afgan off of my bed and wrapped it around me, then backed off.
"Do you want to rest?" Adam asked. I didn't answer. Adam motioned for Jesse to come. He carefully picked me up like I had some bone that was healing, and took me to my room. I fell asleep in his arms.
"You can't escape, the building is surrounded, Ms. deLauro. I suggest you come out peacefully, or else I'll have to do something durastic."
The GS agent sounded like she was reading a speech the way she talked. I smiled secretively, forming a plan in her mind. The nearest agent was within striking distance. The barrels of oil I was behind would create a good barrier.
"Emma! Emma wake up," Shalimar shouted. I suddenly jumped and sat up, wide awake.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It was just a nightmare," Shalimar said soothingly. "It's okay, you're safe."
I crumpled onto Shalimar, who held me while I cried.
Brennan Mulwray pulled out a machete he had gotten two years ago as a present. It had a beaded leather cover that was stuffed into a corner of his dresser, but the machete always was behind his bed, just in case.
Now he held it in his hands, tossing it lightly up and down carefully. The blade was sharp still and it didn't have any rust yet. Brennan pricked his finger, but no blood ran out.
"Tough skin," he mused quietly.
"Of course it is," I said in the doorway.
"What?" Brennan asked, coming out of his thoughts.
"Why do you have a machete?" I asked. Brennan smiled like he was reliving a memory from his past, then looked back up at me and answered.
"Protection," he said. "Do you want to come in?"
I hadn't really expected him to want to spend time with me, but I accepted and sat on his bed.
He placed the machete next to me. "I did this job for a guy once a long time ago. After I was done, I went to his apartment to get paid, but he said he lost all his money to a bet he made. I was about to," Brennan paused in thought for a second. "He ended up paying me with that."
"Oh," was all I could think to say.
He stuck his hand behind his bed again and searched around for something.
"You should just pull the bed out," I told him.
"I could, but I'm only cleaning so that I don't have to clean for Adam, so-"
"You want to waste time," I finished with him. Suddenly, I felt cold again. Before I made Brennan worried, I ran out of the room and into my own.
I sank to the ground safely behind my door. It wasn't that it was cold, but it was inside my head, making every thought seem distant and detached. I started to shiver, more and more until my whole body shook. I realized I couldn't control it.
"Adam," I managed to whisper into my comm. ring before I lost consiousness.
The nearest agent turned around, gun pointed down, but not at me. He didn't see me yet. The head agent kept shouting threats at me, like the thought of stasis would lure me out so they could take me down. Eckhart grows them stupid.
"I know you're in here, deLauro. Just come out and I'll ask Eckhart to take it easy on you. Maybe."
I knew I needed to save all my strength for the battle that was coming up, so someone close by would have to get my psyonic attack. The agent with the gun was withing two yards and I focused in on him. I let go of myself and entered his mind.
"Sorry, Emma," he said. Suddenly, a giant weight crashed down on me. I knew.
My powers were gone.
"We're loosing her," I heard Adam say above me. "We need to get her fever down."
"Could we-" Whoever was talking was too far away to be made out. I tried to reach out with my mind, but there was nothing to grasp onto. The truth hit me again. I was all alone forever.
"We could put her into stasis," Shalimar said. I could almost feel the tension of the room go up. Almost.
"No," Brennan said forcefully. "She wouldn't want that."
I tried to tell them that I was alright, or would be okay and that they didn't have to worry, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the strength. Before I could have easily tapped into Shalimar's inner strength and drawn it from her. My weaknesses crept into my mind. If I couldn't even get out of bed, there was no way I could ever fight the GSA. And I had no more powers. I was vunerable to any type of attack, mental or physical. Completely helpless.
No use to Mutant X.
"Look," I heard. There were footsteps coming in my direction, but they stopped a few yards away. I guessed they were gathered around the computer.
"I don't get it. shouldn't she be awake?"
"Maybe she can't open her eyes," Shal suggested. She walked over to me. "Em, can you hear me?"
I don't know if I could answer, but I didn't.
Helpless. That should be my new codename. I sullenly watched as Brennan and Shalimar fought through the glass window of the infirmary. Adam had finally figured out how I lost my powers and he was working on a way to get them back, but I knew he was just doing it so I wouldn't get to discouraged.
There was no way to get my powers back. They were gone for good, just like the life I had once led. There was no point trying to hide the fact that I could never be part of Mutant X again.
I wanted desperately to go back to my room, but I wasn't sure if I could make it. If I went through the east exit or the infirmary, I could go down that hall past Brennan, Jesse and Adam's rooms, then down another hall to Shalimar and my rooms. If I was lucky, I could get to Brennan's.
I gathered all my strength and started down the hall. Looking into Brennan's bedroom, I saw the machete on the bed. Besides the blade, it looked inviting. I walked in and lied down.
I can't even make it to my bedroom, I thought to myself. I really am helpless.
I fingered the blade.
What life do I have besides Mutant X? I thought. I'm a New Mutant, or was at least. I could try to live on the outside world.
Who was I trying to fool but myself. I would never get over loosing my powers.
I took the blade out of it's sheath and brought it up to my neck.
"This is the right thing to do," I said quietly. "No more telempathy, no more Emma."
I heard footsteps in the hall, but I didn't care anymore.
"Bren- Emma!" Jesse shouted, running in. Before I could push it into my neck, he was holding firmly onto my hand and bringing the machete away from me. "What are you doing?!"
"What did it look like?" I asked cynically.
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like hours. He wouldn't let go, but I didn't fight him.
"Emma," he finally said, drawing back. "Why. why would you do that?"
"It's the only way," I answered.
Jesse looked into my eyes, trying to figure me out. I was young, smart, and rid of my powers that held me back. Why was I killing myself?
"Because I don't know what your feeling and I never will," I said, answering my unspoken question.
"Is that all?" he asked, mildly surprised.
"All?" I asked. "My whole life has been based on what my powers can get me. Jobs, success, selling pants, I could do it. But without my powers, what do I have?"
"Friends," he answered simply.
"No I don't," I told him, trying to get him to understand. "I'm worthless, helpless, weak. I can't fight anymore. I can't stay in Mutant X. I have to leave."
"No you don't-"
"Yes I do!" I shouted. "I can't stay anymore! I need to leave, then you'll replace me. You'll find someone who can walk to her room without almost fainting and be able to feel your emotions. Jesse, I don't know you anymore. I'm cut off. I don't know what you're feeling!"
"This is how I'm feeling," he said, pulling me into a tender kiss.
"I pour out my heart and soul, and all you're thinking about is kissing me," I said.
"Well you wanted to know."
I looked into his eyes. He was nervous, excited, scared, worried. "I don't know how I know, but I do," I whispered.
"Just because you're not telempathic anymore doesn't mean you're not empathic. You lost you powers, but you still care about people," he told me.
I let the tears flow. "What am I going to do, Jess?" I asked him. He held me again.
"You're going to stay here, alive. And we're going to take care of you until you get through this. And when you do, then you can start fighting the GSA."
I didn't argue with him. Instead I kissed him slowly.
I examined myself in the mirror. My dress hung lightly on my shoulders. Inside the gardens, a small arch had been set up. I don't think any of us were surprised when Adam told us he could perform the ceremony. Adam can do it all.
Shalimar walked in, holding a picture of the GS agent who was closest to me.
"You didn't forget about him, did you?"
"He took my powers," I said. "I can't forget that."
"Then why aren't you dreaming about him?" she asked.
"Because I'm dreaming about Jesse," I answered.
one year later
"Emma," Jesse whispered, lightly brushing the hair out of my eyes. "Em, wake up."
I contentedly smiled, and stretched out. The man lying next to me, smiled too and kissed my forehead.
I couldn't know for sure what he was thinking, but I had the feeling it was something big. I got up and put my robe on.
"Emma," Jesse said from behind me. I turned around, happiness filling me. "Love of my life, will you marry me?"
"Empty," I managed to whisper. Adam didn't seem satisfied so I added, "cold."
"I'll get you a blanket," Shalimar offered before the other two could. They all stood in the doorway, ready to get me anything I wanted. They would have brought me the crown jewels if I had asked.
Shalimar still had the sense to look for Adam's approval before leaving. He nodded slightly and she disappeared behind Brennan and Jesse.
My gaze was transfixed on a cabinet near the floor. It was almost unbearable to be near my friends. They seemed so distant and removed even though they were at the door. Brennan was watching me closely, but I didn't know what he was thinking. Jesse was trying to look anywhere but at me, which led him to stare at his feet. Proxy Blue was saying something in another room. I couldn't make out the words, but I knew what it was about. The big explosion at the harbor, caused by an electrical fire colliding with an oil barrel. Brennan caused the electrical fire, but Proxy would never know.
I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. It was too hard.
"Emma?" Adam asked, trying to get me to focus. "Emma."
I opened my eyes and found myself looking straight into his. Yesterday I would have known what he was feeling and what I should say and do, but his eyes weren't the window to his soul anymore. They were the same, I wasn't.
"Emma, do you think you could find the agent who did this if I gave you some pictures?" he asked.
"Maybe," I whispered, not daring to actually talk. It didn't seem safe yet.
He looked over to Brennan and nodded. He disappeared, leaving Jesse alone. He looked like he desperately wanted to put his arms around me and hold me until I felt better, but he knew it wouldn't.
Shalimar came back with the afgan off of my bed and wrapped it around me, then backed off.
"Do you want to rest?" Adam asked. I didn't answer. Adam motioned for Jesse to come. He carefully picked me up like I had some bone that was healing, and took me to my room. I fell asleep in his arms.
"You can't escape, the building is surrounded, Ms. deLauro. I suggest you come out peacefully, or else I'll have to do something durastic."
The GS agent sounded like she was reading a speech the way she talked. I smiled secretively, forming a plan in her mind. The nearest agent was within striking distance. The barrels of oil I was behind would create a good barrier.
"Emma! Emma wake up," Shalimar shouted. I suddenly jumped and sat up, wide awake.
"What happened?" I asked.
"It was just a nightmare," Shalimar said soothingly. "It's okay, you're safe."
I crumpled onto Shalimar, who held me while I cried.
Brennan Mulwray pulled out a machete he had gotten two years ago as a present. It had a beaded leather cover that was stuffed into a corner of his dresser, but the machete always was behind his bed, just in case.
Now he held it in his hands, tossing it lightly up and down carefully. The blade was sharp still and it didn't have any rust yet. Brennan pricked his finger, but no blood ran out.
"Tough skin," he mused quietly.
"Of course it is," I said in the doorway.
"What?" Brennan asked, coming out of his thoughts.
"Why do you have a machete?" I asked. Brennan smiled like he was reliving a memory from his past, then looked back up at me and answered.
"Protection," he said. "Do you want to come in?"
I hadn't really expected him to want to spend time with me, but I accepted and sat on his bed.
He placed the machete next to me. "I did this job for a guy once a long time ago. After I was done, I went to his apartment to get paid, but he said he lost all his money to a bet he made. I was about to," Brennan paused in thought for a second. "He ended up paying me with that."
"Oh," was all I could think to say.
He stuck his hand behind his bed again and searched around for something.
"You should just pull the bed out," I told him.
"I could, but I'm only cleaning so that I don't have to clean for Adam, so-"
"You want to waste time," I finished with him. Suddenly, I felt cold again. Before I made Brennan worried, I ran out of the room and into my own.
I sank to the ground safely behind my door. It wasn't that it was cold, but it was inside my head, making every thought seem distant and detached. I started to shiver, more and more until my whole body shook. I realized I couldn't control it.
"Adam," I managed to whisper into my comm. ring before I lost consiousness.
The nearest agent turned around, gun pointed down, but not at me. He didn't see me yet. The head agent kept shouting threats at me, like the thought of stasis would lure me out so they could take me down. Eckhart grows them stupid.
"I know you're in here, deLauro. Just come out and I'll ask Eckhart to take it easy on you. Maybe."
I knew I needed to save all my strength for the battle that was coming up, so someone close by would have to get my psyonic attack. The agent with the gun was withing two yards and I focused in on him. I let go of myself and entered his mind.
"Sorry, Emma," he said. Suddenly, a giant weight crashed down on me. I knew.
My powers were gone.
"We're loosing her," I heard Adam say above me. "We need to get her fever down."
"Could we-" Whoever was talking was too far away to be made out. I tried to reach out with my mind, but there was nothing to grasp onto. The truth hit me again. I was all alone forever.
"We could put her into stasis," Shalimar said. I could almost feel the tension of the room go up. Almost.
"No," Brennan said forcefully. "She wouldn't want that."
I tried to tell them that I was alright, or would be okay and that they didn't have to worry, but I couldn't. I couldn't find the strength. Before I could have easily tapped into Shalimar's inner strength and drawn it from her. My weaknesses crept into my mind. If I couldn't even get out of bed, there was no way I could ever fight the GSA. And I had no more powers. I was vunerable to any type of attack, mental or physical. Completely helpless.
No use to Mutant X.
"Look," I heard. There were footsteps coming in my direction, but they stopped a few yards away. I guessed they were gathered around the computer.
"I don't get it. shouldn't she be awake?"
"Maybe she can't open her eyes," Shal suggested. She walked over to me. "Em, can you hear me?"
I don't know if I could answer, but I didn't.
Helpless. That should be my new codename. I sullenly watched as Brennan and Shalimar fought through the glass window of the infirmary. Adam had finally figured out how I lost my powers and he was working on a way to get them back, but I knew he was just doing it so I wouldn't get to discouraged.
There was no way to get my powers back. They were gone for good, just like the life I had once led. There was no point trying to hide the fact that I could never be part of Mutant X again.
I wanted desperately to go back to my room, but I wasn't sure if I could make it. If I went through the east exit or the infirmary, I could go down that hall past Brennan, Jesse and Adam's rooms, then down another hall to Shalimar and my rooms. If I was lucky, I could get to Brennan's.
I gathered all my strength and started down the hall. Looking into Brennan's bedroom, I saw the machete on the bed. Besides the blade, it looked inviting. I walked in and lied down.
I can't even make it to my bedroom, I thought to myself. I really am helpless.
I fingered the blade.
What life do I have besides Mutant X? I thought. I'm a New Mutant, or was at least. I could try to live on the outside world.
Who was I trying to fool but myself. I would never get over loosing my powers.
I took the blade out of it's sheath and brought it up to my neck.
"This is the right thing to do," I said quietly. "No more telempathy, no more Emma."
I heard footsteps in the hall, but I didn't care anymore.
"Bren- Emma!" Jesse shouted, running in. Before I could push it into my neck, he was holding firmly onto my hand and bringing the machete away from me. "What are you doing?!"
"What did it look like?" I asked cynically.
He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me for what seemed like hours. He wouldn't let go, but I didn't fight him.
"Emma," he finally said, drawing back. "Why. why would you do that?"
"It's the only way," I answered.
Jesse looked into my eyes, trying to figure me out. I was young, smart, and rid of my powers that held me back. Why was I killing myself?
"Because I don't know what your feeling and I never will," I said, answering my unspoken question.
"Is that all?" he asked, mildly surprised.
"All?" I asked. "My whole life has been based on what my powers can get me. Jobs, success, selling pants, I could do it. But without my powers, what do I have?"
"Friends," he answered simply.
"No I don't," I told him, trying to get him to understand. "I'm worthless, helpless, weak. I can't fight anymore. I can't stay in Mutant X. I have to leave."
"No you don't-"
"Yes I do!" I shouted. "I can't stay anymore! I need to leave, then you'll replace me. You'll find someone who can walk to her room without almost fainting and be able to feel your emotions. Jesse, I don't know you anymore. I'm cut off. I don't know what you're feeling!"
"This is how I'm feeling," he said, pulling me into a tender kiss.
"I pour out my heart and soul, and all you're thinking about is kissing me," I said.
"Well you wanted to know."
I looked into his eyes. He was nervous, excited, scared, worried. "I don't know how I know, but I do," I whispered.
"Just because you're not telempathic anymore doesn't mean you're not empathic. You lost you powers, but you still care about people," he told me.
I let the tears flow. "What am I going to do, Jess?" I asked him. He held me again.
"You're going to stay here, alive. And we're going to take care of you until you get through this. And when you do, then you can start fighting the GSA."
I didn't argue with him. Instead I kissed him slowly.
I examined myself in the mirror. My dress hung lightly on my shoulders. Inside the gardens, a small arch had been set up. I don't think any of us were surprised when Adam told us he could perform the ceremony. Adam can do it all.
Shalimar walked in, holding a picture of the GS agent who was closest to me.
"You didn't forget about him, did you?"
"He took my powers," I said. "I can't forget that."
"Then why aren't you dreaming about him?" she asked.
"Because I'm dreaming about Jesse," I answered.
one year later
"Emma," Jesse whispered, lightly brushing the hair out of my eyes. "Em, wake up."
I contentedly smiled, and stretched out. The man lying next to me, smiled too and kissed my forehead.
I couldn't know for sure what he was thinking, but I had the feeling it was something big. I got up and put my robe on.
"Emma," Jesse said from behind me. I turned around, happiness filling me. "Love of my life, will you marry me?"