1.1.1 Chapter Seven
"Alright I'm coming". Dylan reluctantly tore himself away from the bike and headed for the door. Whoever was there was pretty insistent. This had better be good. Wiping his oil stained hands on his vest he reached for the door handle.
"Kelly". He couldn't contain his surprise but as ever he was pleased to see her.
"Is this a bad time?" She was nervous but she'd made up her mind to do this and there was no going back.
Dylan smiled. "Not at all, come on in". Stepping back to allow her through the door he regarded her quizzically "So tell me Kel what's on your mind?"
Standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, Kelly took a deep breath before answering. "Dylan we need to talk".
He nodded "I'm listening".
She'd rehearsed this on the way over but now standing here in front of him she wasn't sure where to start. She had never known a guy to have so much of an effect on her. His sheer physical presence was enough to make her head spin. She had never wanted anyone so badly. She sighed "I've been so miserable lately Dylan".
Dylan smiled "I'd noticed. In fact I think everybody's noticed".
She blushed and looked away "Yeah well the reason I've been so moody lately is because of us". Then fixing him with a meaningful look. "I miss you Dylan, I miss what we had".
Dylan leaned back against the wall as though the conversation was making him tired. "I know Kel, I feel the same way you do. But we've been over this before. What about Brenda?"
"What about Brenda? Why does it always have to be about Brenda? When is it our turn to be happy?" Her voice carried a note of frustration.
Dylan sighed, lately his life had been so complicated. Things had been so easy over the summer. In comparison to what he had with Brenda, his relationship with Kelly had been so simple. With Brenda there were so many obstacles, so many ups and downs. But Kelly didn't have Brenda's overbearing father, Brenda's insecurities about sex or Brenda's sense of melodrama. His relationship with Brenda was a constant battle and it was wearing them both down.
After all the dramas that had culminated in Brenda's 'banishment' to Paris, it had been a relief to be with Kelly. He had begun to look forward to their time together and they had quickly developed a connection. A physical relationship had soon followed and Dylan found that whilst he couldn't stop thinking about Kelly, he'd hardly given Brenda a thought all summer.
He'd been brought back to earth when Brenda called him the night before she was due to return home. How could he have been so stupid as to risk everything they'd worked for? He had called things off with Kelly, and she had agreed. But these last few weeks he had found himself wishing he were back at the beach with her. He knew she was expecting an answer but he couldn't give her the answer she wanted.
"I know what you're saying Kel' he finally replied 'but it's just not that easy."
"Isn't it?' Kelly asked pointedly 'Are you really sure that your relationship with Brenda is so special? We weren't the only one's to have a romance this summer remember."
Kelly knew that she wasn't being fair to Brenda but she couldn't help it. Dylan held a magnetic attraction over her and she had to do whatever it took to be with him.
Dylan winced. He and Brenda had talked through her infidelity with Rick. Hell he'd even admitted his own indiscretion, though of course he hadn't told Brenda who had been involved. It had been a difficult time but they had got through it, come out the other side still together. But they'd both admitted that it was a sign that their relationship was not as solid as it once had been.
"Ok so maybe my relationship with Brenda is a little shaky right now' he said defensively 'But that doesn't mean we've reached the end."
"Well maybe it should".
Kelly took another deep breath, struggling to get a hold of her emotions. She hadn't intended to lose her temper. It was just that the whole situation was so frustrating and she couldn't take it any longer. When she eventually spoke it was simple and direct.
"Look Dylan I've tried to do the right thing, I've tried to stay away from you. I even tried to convince myself that I wasn't in love with you. But it's no good. I love you Dylan and I want to be with you".
She paused searching his face, trying to read his emotions "Is that really so bad?"
Dylan sighed. He knew where she was coming from. These last few weeks had been hard on them both. He had missed her too, and his relationship with Brenda was definitely suffering because of it. He knew that Brenda had sensed that something was wrong between them. So far she hadn't really pursued it, but he knew it was only a matter of time. Whatever way he looked at it the situation was a mess. He and Kelly had talked about it often enough but they hadn't been able to find a satisfactory way out. Someone always ended up getting hurt. They'd settled upon 'doing the right thing'. Kelly had backed off and he had tried to save his relationship with Brenda. But he had to admit it wasn't making any of them happy. He frowned. Why did love always have to be so complicated?
Kelly must have read his mind. "I just don't see why all three of us need to be unhappy".
There she'd said it. Maybe it was a little selfish but it was true.
"So what' Dylan said 'are you suggesting that I should just break up with Brenda and start seeing you? Are you ready for the fall out from that one Kel cause it's gonna be big."
This time it was Kelly's turn to wince. She had been on the receiving end of Brenda's wrath before and it wasn't an experience she was in a hurry to repeat. She knew that if things worked out between her and Dylan, she would have to face Brenda some time. She just wasn't sure she was ready to do it yet.
She'd thought that she was willing to do anything to be with Dylan but suddenly she wasn't sure. Brenda was her best friend and as such Kelly was privy to Brenda's innermost thoughts and feelings. She knew all too well how much Dylan meant to Brenda, and how devastated Brenda would be if she ever found out. Kelly found herself overwhelmed by guilt and she began to falter just as she had done every time they had discussed this. But she knew without a doubt that she had to be with Dylan. She couldn't go back to avoiding him. These past few weeks had been hell.
Kelly's heart began to beat a little faster. Should she say it? She knew that it was wrong. It was selfish and sneaky and cowardly, and Kelly didn't want to think of herself that way. She didn't want to say it but somehow she knew that she was going to.
"Well maybe we don't have to deal with that right now" she said hesitantly "we could see each other in secret. We'd get to be together and no one gets hurt". Now she'd said it she couldn't take it back. She fought to ignore the little voice that was telling her this was wrong, that she should walk away. A tiny part of her wanted him to say no. Wanted him to do what she couldn't, stop this from happening.
The ball was firmly in his court and she could see that he was hesitating. Again she fought with her conscience and again she pushed away the nagging voice. "We don't have to do it for long. You could let Brenda down gently. Then when the time was right we could tell her about us."
If she tried very hard she could almost convince herself that she was doing Brenda a favour. After all why let her best friend waste her life on a man who no longer loved her?
Dylan frowned. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out".
"Let's just say I've been doing some thinking."
"Well did you think about what it's gonna be like? Are you prepared to spend the next few weeks sneaking around and lying to Brenda cause that's what you're suggesting?" Dylan hadn't expected this, Kelly usually backed out at this point, decided that she couldn't betray Brenda, and then they were back to square one. But not this time, this time was different.
"Look Dylan, Brenda is my best friend, and I hate lying to her just as much as you do. But I'm already lying to her. I lie to her when she asks me what I did this summer. I lie to her when she asks me to go to the movies or shopping at the mall. I lie to her when she asks me why I'm in such a bad mood. At least this way when I lie to her I'm doing it for a good reason". Having made the suggestion she was now talking herself in to it. She pushed the dissenting voice to the back of her mind.
Dylan knew that he should have the strength to resist. He should do the decent thing either stay away from Kelly, or break up with Brenda and explain everything to her properly. But he knew that he couldn't do it. He loved Kelly and he knew that he wanted to be with her. That part was pretty straightforward. In contrast, his feelings towards Brenda were much more complex. Although he loved her, he was finding it increasingly difficult to be with her. They were growing apart and he didn't seem able to stop it. But the thought of hurting her was almost too much to bear. What Kelly was offering was a coward's way out and Dylan was more than ready to take it. You really are low life scum McKay he thought.
"Okay" he finally turned to Kelly. "You're right, we've tried doing the right thing and it's got us nowhere". His expression softened "I say we pick up where we left off." Somehow he felt better just from making the decision.
Kelly released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She'd pushed the decision on to him and now he'd decided. She felt excited, and a little scared. They'd crossed the line, made the decision to betray Brenda and now there was no going back. Pushing away her feelings of guilt she only hoped that it would be worth it. Looking at Dylan and knowing that he was hers, she was convinced that it was. Smiling she turned to him. "You know I told Brenda that I was planning on having an early night tonight. No reason why that should turn out to be a lie."
"No reason at all." Dylan smiled seductively as he took her hand and led her in to the bedroom.
"Alright I'm coming". Dylan reluctantly tore himself away from the bike and headed for the door. Whoever was there was pretty insistent. This had better be good. Wiping his oil stained hands on his vest he reached for the door handle.
"Kelly". He couldn't contain his surprise but as ever he was pleased to see her.
"Is this a bad time?" She was nervous but she'd made up her mind to do this and there was no going back.
Dylan smiled. "Not at all, come on in". Stepping back to allow her through the door he regarded her quizzically "So tell me Kel what's on your mind?"
Standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, Kelly took a deep breath before answering. "Dylan we need to talk".
He nodded "I'm listening".
She'd rehearsed this on the way over but now standing here in front of him she wasn't sure where to start. She had never known a guy to have so much of an effect on her. His sheer physical presence was enough to make her head spin. She had never wanted anyone so badly. She sighed "I've been so miserable lately Dylan".
Dylan smiled "I'd noticed. In fact I think everybody's noticed".
She blushed and looked away "Yeah well the reason I've been so moody lately is because of us". Then fixing him with a meaningful look. "I miss you Dylan, I miss what we had".
Dylan leaned back against the wall as though the conversation was making him tired. "I know Kel, I feel the same way you do. But we've been over this before. What about Brenda?"
"What about Brenda? Why does it always have to be about Brenda? When is it our turn to be happy?" Her voice carried a note of frustration.
Dylan sighed, lately his life had been so complicated. Things had been so easy over the summer. In comparison to what he had with Brenda, his relationship with Kelly had been so simple. With Brenda there were so many obstacles, so many ups and downs. But Kelly didn't have Brenda's overbearing father, Brenda's insecurities about sex or Brenda's sense of melodrama. His relationship with Brenda was a constant battle and it was wearing them both down.
After all the dramas that had culminated in Brenda's 'banishment' to Paris, it had been a relief to be with Kelly. He had begun to look forward to their time together and they had quickly developed a connection. A physical relationship had soon followed and Dylan found that whilst he couldn't stop thinking about Kelly, he'd hardly given Brenda a thought all summer.
He'd been brought back to earth when Brenda called him the night before she was due to return home. How could he have been so stupid as to risk everything they'd worked for? He had called things off with Kelly, and she had agreed. But these last few weeks he had found himself wishing he were back at the beach with her. He knew she was expecting an answer but he couldn't give her the answer she wanted.
"I know what you're saying Kel' he finally replied 'but it's just not that easy."
"Isn't it?' Kelly asked pointedly 'Are you really sure that your relationship with Brenda is so special? We weren't the only one's to have a romance this summer remember."
Kelly knew that she wasn't being fair to Brenda but she couldn't help it. Dylan held a magnetic attraction over her and she had to do whatever it took to be with him.
Dylan winced. He and Brenda had talked through her infidelity with Rick. Hell he'd even admitted his own indiscretion, though of course he hadn't told Brenda who had been involved. It had been a difficult time but they had got through it, come out the other side still together. But they'd both admitted that it was a sign that their relationship was not as solid as it once had been.
"Ok so maybe my relationship with Brenda is a little shaky right now' he said defensively 'But that doesn't mean we've reached the end."
"Well maybe it should".
Kelly took another deep breath, struggling to get a hold of her emotions. She hadn't intended to lose her temper. It was just that the whole situation was so frustrating and she couldn't take it any longer. When she eventually spoke it was simple and direct.
"Look Dylan I've tried to do the right thing, I've tried to stay away from you. I even tried to convince myself that I wasn't in love with you. But it's no good. I love you Dylan and I want to be with you".
She paused searching his face, trying to read his emotions "Is that really so bad?"
Dylan sighed. He knew where she was coming from. These last few weeks had been hard on them both. He had missed her too, and his relationship with Brenda was definitely suffering because of it. He knew that Brenda had sensed that something was wrong between them. So far she hadn't really pursued it, but he knew it was only a matter of time. Whatever way he looked at it the situation was a mess. He and Kelly had talked about it often enough but they hadn't been able to find a satisfactory way out. Someone always ended up getting hurt. They'd settled upon 'doing the right thing'. Kelly had backed off and he had tried to save his relationship with Brenda. But he had to admit it wasn't making any of them happy. He frowned. Why did love always have to be so complicated?
Kelly must have read his mind. "I just don't see why all three of us need to be unhappy".
There she'd said it. Maybe it was a little selfish but it was true.
"So what' Dylan said 'are you suggesting that I should just break up with Brenda and start seeing you? Are you ready for the fall out from that one Kel cause it's gonna be big."
This time it was Kelly's turn to wince. She had been on the receiving end of Brenda's wrath before and it wasn't an experience she was in a hurry to repeat. She knew that if things worked out between her and Dylan, she would have to face Brenda some time. She just wasn't sure she was ready to do it yet.
She'd thought that she was willing to do anything to be with Dylan but suddenly she wasn't sure. Brenda was her best friend and as such Kelly was privy to Brenda's innermost thoughts and feelings. She knew all too well how much Dylan meant to Brenda, and how devastated Brenda would be if she ever found out. Kelly found herself overwhelmed by guilt and she began to falter just as she had done every time they had discussed this. But she knew without a doubt that she had to be with Dylan. She couldn't go back to avoiding him. These past few weeks had been hell.
Kelly's heart began to beat a little faster. Should she say it? She knew that it was wrong. It was selfish and sneaky and cowardly, and Kelly didn't want to think of herself that way. She didn't want to say it but somehow she knew that she was going to.
"Well maybe we don't have to deal with that right now" she said hesitantly "we could see each other in secret. We'd get to be together and no one gets hurt". Now she'd said it she couldn't take it back. She fought to ignore the little voice that was telling her this was wrong, that she should walk away. A tiny part of her wanted him to say no. Wanted him to do what she couldn't, stop this from happening.
The ball was firmly in his court and she could see that he was hesitating. Again she fought with her conscience and again she pushed away the nagging voice. "We don't have to do it for long. You could let Brenda down gently. Then when the time was right we could tell her about us."
If she tried very hard she could almost convince herself that she was doing Brenda a favour. After all why let her best friend waste her life on a man who no longer loved her?
Dylan frowned. "Sounds like you've got it all figured out".
"Let's just say I've been doing some thinking."
"Well did you think about what it's gonna be like? Are you prepared to spend the next few weeks sneaking around and lying to Brenda cause that's what you're suggesting?" Dylan hadn't expected this, Kelly usually backed out at this point, decided that she couldn't betray Brenda, and then they were back to square one. But not this time, this time was different.
"Look Dylan, Brenda is my best friend, and I hate lying to her just as much as you do. But I'm already lying to her. I lie to her when she asks me what I did this summer. I lie to her when she asks me to go to the movies or shopping at the mall. I lie to her when she asks me why I'm in such a bad mood. At least this way when I lie to her I'm doing it for a good reason". Having made the suggestion she was now talking herself in to it. She pushed the dissenting voice to the back of her mind.
Dylan knew that he should have the strength to resist. He should do the decent thing either stay away from Kelly, or break up with Brenda and explain everything to her properly. But he knew that he couldn't do it. He loved Kelly and he knew that he wanted to be with her. That part was pretty straightforward. In contrast, his feelings towards Brenda were much more complex. Although he loved her, he was finding it increasingly difficult to be with her. They were growing apart and he didn't seem able to stop it. But the thought of hurting her was almost too much to bear. What Kelly was offering was a coward's way out and Dylan was more than ready to take it. You really are low life scum McKay he thought.
"Okay" he finally turned to Kelly. "You're right, we've tried doing the right thing and it's got us nowhere". His expression softened "I say we pick up where we left off." Somehow he felt better just from making the decision.
Kelly released a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding. She'd pushed the decision on to him and now he'd decided. She felt excited, and a little scared. They'd crossed the line, made the decision to betray Brenda and now there was no going back. Pushing away her feelings of guilt she only hoped that it would be worth it. Looking at Dylan and knowing that he was hers, she was convinced that it was. Smiling she turned to him. "You know I told Brenda that I was planning on having an early night tonight. No reason why that should turn out to be a lie."
"No reason at all." Dylan smiled seductively as he took her hand and led her in to the bedroom.