Beautiful

By: SweetSorrow~*~* This is a fic about learning to love yourself no matter what they say. I wrote this in dedication to all the people who suffered from some kind of disorder or abuse. It's based on Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" Hope you enjoy. Warning~There's mild cussing, mostly from Sora's Dad, it won't be used frequently. There is some bad stuff in here. Disclaimer: Love digimon-don't own it L

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"Get me another beer there Sara." An obviously drunk middle aged man said to his 16 year old daughter.

"My name is SORA, Dad." She snapped at him before she went to the kitchen. She hated when he was drunk. He never drank until she 14, then it happened. He lost his job so he depended on beer. He never looked for another job, so her mother had to pay the bills with her hard earned money from her flower shop, and he keeps all her leftover money. When he gets drunk he attacks Sora. Her mom acted like it was nothing. She just tells Sora "not to get in his way." 

	She got the beer out of the refrigerator and gave it to her dad.

"Here daddy." She said handing him the beer.

"God dammit, Sora! Could you be any slower? If you lost some god damn weight maybe your fat ass would be useful." He scolded her.

"I'm sorry," was all she could say. She ran up to her room and refused to come out the rest of the night even for dinner. Except, her father called her down at around 11 p.m., he was obviously very drunk. "SORA, GET YOUR FUCKEN ASS DOWN HERE!" he yelled at her. She came down in her pajamas, which were shorts and a tank top. He grabbed her hair and yanked it until she cried.

"Why the hell are you wearing that, you fucking slut? Are you sleeping with some guy? I should kick your ass right now." He screamed in her ear.

"No daddy, I was just going to sleep these are my pajamas." She said softly hoping not to anger him some more.

"I should beat the shit out you for that little smart talk you did to me earlier." With that we swung her by the hair and rammed her into the wall, three times. "Oh and you're too fat to be wearing that. It's for pretty, sexy, skinny girl. And that's definitely not you. You ugly, fat slut" He picked up a stool and hit her on the legs with that. After that he left the house and drove away, leaving Sora bleeding and bruised. She went upstairs, crying, to check the bruises and scars. She had a headache from the hair pulling, bruises on her arm, and she was bleeding on her legs.

"Oh well. Nothing new." She sighed. And went to sleep.

The next day at school she was greeted by her best friends: Tai, Mimi, and Matt. Her other friends, T.K. and Kari, were still in middle school. She had more friends, but they weren't her best friends.

In class, Sora could barely concentrate. She was too busy thinking about the night before. The words "fat and ugly" rang in her head. She was about to cry when the bell rang for lunch. She quickly got up and rushed to the bathroom before any tears ran down her face. Luckily, she was the only one in the bathroom. She wiped her face with a damp paper towel and she accidentally wiped off her make-up. She was wearing it to cover the bruise under her eye [a/n it's not a black eye; just a bruise] her dad gave her a week ago. She quickly put her make up on and ran to go meet her friends. Everyone was there already excluding Izzy. They never see him anymore. He's always with his new friends, now.

"Hey Sora!" Tai greeted.

"Hey everyone!" She said with fake excitement. She sat down and pulled out a sandwich and was about to eat it, but she put it back in her bag. Hoping no one will notice, but they did.

"Aren't you going to eat, Sora?" Matt asked with concern.

"No, I had a big breakfast. Mom made me eggs and bacon, than I had some cereal and 3 glasses of juice." She replied. Of course it was a big lie; she skipped breakfast today because her dad told her she needs to stop eating. "I'll just have some water."

"Are you sure? I have plenty of food if that sandwich is too plain for you." Mimi offered.

"No, thanks anyway. Oh, did anyone study for that History test in Mrs. Fugikawa's class?" She said hoping to change the subject. To tell the truth, she was starved.

"Do we ever?" Tai laughed. Sora playfully pushed him because everyone knows that she studies hard; therefore, she gets the best grades.

They sat and talked all through lunch until the bell rang for 4th period, and Sora had to go to PE. She decided to wear sweatpants and a sweater instead of the usual uniform because she didn't want anyone to see her scars. She was in the middle of changing when a girl yelled at Sora.

"Oh my gosh! You have a huge bruise on your back!" She cried. It was a from Sora's tennis team named Takara, "What happened?"

"Oh this old thing?" Sora tried to play it off coolly. "I got a week ago when I was riding my bike. I fell off of it." Sora must have missed the bruise on her back. She was too tired to fully scan her body, but how could she miss something so big?

"No you didn't!" Takara said to her. "I've seen your back before. It wasn't there at our last tennis meet."

Sora got nervous and was lost in words. She managed to choke up "You didn't notice."

"What do you mean 'You didn't notice?' how could I miss that?" She questioned.

Sora snapped-she knew Takara means well, but she's getting closer and closer to finding out. "YOU JUST CAN, OKAY? NOW BUTT OUT!" Sora yelled.

After that, Sora was so tense and nervous. Her father once said that if she told anyone what he did, he would kill her. Besides, her told her, it was her fault she was getting hit. She believed him.

After school, Sora couldn't be more relieved. She went up to Tai who was standing under a tree waiting for her. They usually walk home together. She never invites any of her friends over because she is afraid of how her dad would act. She walked up to Tai and hugged him.

"Hey Tai." She gushed. She secretly has a crush on him, but no one but Mimi knew that.

"Ready to go?" He asked putting an arm around her. She blushed so hard.

"Actually I was wondering if you want to hang out Friday, after school, you know if you're not doing anything." She said. She was so nervous because she was hinting to go on a date.

"Like a date?" He asked. She nodded shyly. "Um, sorry, I might go out with Matt, I mean not like that just hanging out. I…"

"Shh…"she placed a finger over his mouth, "Understood. I mean I'm hurt, I really wanted to go out with you, but if you just want to hang out as friends, that's cool." She was fighting back the tears.

"Yea, I mean after turning into little Miss Piggy, eating all that food, you gained quite a bit of weight." He joked. Playfully poking her. He was of course talking about her "big breakfast".

"WHAT?" She yelled at him grabbing his finger.

"Sora, I was…ju…" He started. But, Matt and Mimi came up to them and asked if they wanted to go to get some food and hang out at the mall. They all agreed. But suddenly, a honk from a car startled them. Then Sora's dad rolled down the window and yelled at her to get in the car.

"Sorry guys I have to run." She said and ran into the car. During the car ride her dad was yelling at her about Tai.

"I saw you hug him, talk to him, and him tickling you! You little slut! Your trash just like your mom." He screamed. "You think he actually wants you? Look at you! You're uglier than a donkey, you're fat, and stupid."

He slammed her head against the window with one hand, and yelled some more. At home things got worst. He continued yelling and calling her names. He punched her in the face a lot. This time he took a bat and hit her in the stomach with it. He threw her against the fireplace, and she bumped her head on the brick part of it. He continued beating her.

"You disgust me." Was all he said to her. She began to cry so hard. He grabbed her by the ear and dragged her to the kitchen. He turned on the sink and put her hand in the scalding hot water. She cried in pain. Her mother, who witnessed all this, couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed him and told him to stop it. Sora ran to her room, but before she got there she saw her dad beat her mom. She ran all the way to her room, and locked it. She took off her clothes, except her bra and underwear, which were soaked with blood, and ripped anyway. She heard the door slam shut and a car pull away.

"Good he's gone for now." She said to herself. She looked at herself in the mirror. She had scars everywhere now. Even on her face. She had one near her lip, eyes on cheeks. She started to cry. Did she really deserve this? Maybe if she were gone everything would be better. She looked closer at the mirror.

"No! No!" She cried. "I'm fat, I'm ugly! No one will ever love me! Not Tai, not mom, not dad!" She fell to her knees and cried. "I'm not good enough." She cried. "NO! I hate you, you stupid mirror! I hate me! I hate my life!" She punched the mirror until it was shattered into a million pieces.

"I don't want to live anymore." She said. So she went into the kitchen. Her mom was gone, but Sora didn't care where she or her father was. She grabbed a knife from the drawers and ran to her room. She wrote a note to her friends/family and sat on her bed.

"Goodbye life, goodbye pain, goodbye Sora." Was what she said before picking up the knife. She held it close to her neck…before stopping to a sound…

TBC [cliffhanger]?

Should I continue? I really want to continue, but give me feedback. Should she live? Should she die? What's the sound? You'll find out if you review because I want to know that people read this. Thank you! Sorry it's long. R+R ~SweetSorrow~