Brandon Walsh yawned widely, rubbing eyes that were tired from too much reading. He was exhausted. Needing a brief moment of respite, he put down his pencil and took a bite from the Danish that Andrea had brought him a little earlier. He chewed slowly, savouring the taste of the pastry before washing it down with the coffee that had been slowly cooling next to him for the last few minutes. Feeling better, he turned his attention back to the pile of articles stacked up on the desk in front of him. He sighed heavily, he'd been at this for a good two hours now and the stack of unread articles was still higher than the stack of read ones. Resignedly he retrieved his pencil and reached for the article at the top of the pile.
From her desk on the other side of the newspaper office Andrea Zuckerman studied him surreptitiously. They would be graduating in a week, leaving high school behind. This was her last editorial, soon she would be handing over the reigns of 'The Blaze' and moving on to bigger things, or so she hoped. She and Brandon wanted to make this farewell edition one to remember. They were currently sifting through the latest batch of submissions trying to put together the final copy, but for once Andrea was having a hard time concentrating.
At one point senior year had seemed to be stretching endlessly before her, now it was slipping away faster with every passing day. Moments like this, sitting in 'The Blaze' office with Brandon wrestling over the final layout, hanging out with him at the Peach Pit, studying together in the school library, would soon be a thing of the past. In the fall she would be leaving for Yale and he would be staying here in California. Oh sure they would keep in touch, but it wouldn't be the same. She wouldn't get to see him every day; she wouldn't get to spend time with him. She frowned. She envied those who would.
For as long as she could remember she had wanted to go to Yale, it had been a dream since childhood. Now it was actually happening her feelings about it were bittersweet. She wanted to go, of course she did, the prospect of furthering her knowledge, pushing herself to her academic limits was intoxicating, it was what she had worked so hard for all these years. The problem was that going away to Yale would take her away from Brandon and leaving Brandon behind was something she was reluctant to do.
She sighed heavily. Brandon didn't love her, at least not in the way that she wanted him to. At one point she had thought that he might, but nothing had come of it. Instead she had been relegated to watching from the sidelines while he fell in and out of love with a host of other girls. Eventually she had decided it would be easiest to bury her feelings, make do with being Brandon's friend. At least that way she would be able to be close to him and maybe just maybe one day Brandon would realise what had been right in front of him all along. She sighed heavily. It hadn't happened and soon she would be leaving. She was afraid that out of sight would mean out of mind.
It wasn't even as though either of them was attached anymore. Brandon and Nikki had gone their separate ways when she moved back to be with her family in San Francisco and her relationship with Jay had finally fallen apart last week. Whilst she was sad, she wasn't heart broken. The truth was she had never been in love with Jay. Her heart belonged to Brandon Walsh; she just couldn't bring herself to tell him.
Her talk with Kelly a few months back had given her a new perspective on things. Listening to Kelly had made her realise that as far as love was concerned you had to take a chance. Maybe things wouldn't turn out the way you wanted them to, but at least you would know you had tried. She smiled ruefully, things hadn't worked out so well for Kelly, but at least she had taken the risk rather than do nothing and spend the rest of her life wondering about what might have been.
Andrea had decided that she couldn't leave for Yale without telling Brandon how she really felt about him. Maybe he wouldn't feel the same way, but there was still that possibility, no matter how remote, that he might. She'd held back for so long out of deference to their friendship, but now she was ready to take a chance. If it didn't work out, well she would be leaving anyway and at least she would know for sure. If it did, if it did work out, the prospect was too thrilling to even contemplate.
She'd been trying to find the right moment for a while now, but every time she had started the conversation something had gotten in the way. Now here they were alone in the newspaper office, with no distractions and no chance of being interrupted because everyone else had long since left for home. It was a perfect opportunity and she had to take it. No regrets, that was her new motto and she was determined to stay true to it. She swallowed nervously, feeling her heart beat a little faster.
"Brandon" she began hesitantly "There's something I need to tell you."
Eyes riveted on the article in front of him, Brandon didn't even register that she had spoken.
"Brandon" she tried again a little louder.
Startled, as though he had been woken suddenly from a deep sleep, Brandon turned towards her. He had the most curious expression on his face, a mixture of shock, anger, disbelief and something else, something she couldn't quite place.
Andrea looked at him in confusion, wondering what on earth could have provoked such a reaction. "Brandon, what is it? What's wrong?" she asked in alarm, all thoughts of confessing her feelings instantly forgotten.
"Andrea" Brandon said stiffly "I think you'd better take a look at this."
***
"I'm sorry Bren, I am happy for you really I am. It's just that I don't want you to go" Donna admitted sadly. "I'll miss you."
Brenda nodded sympathetically "I'll miss you too Donna." Her face brightened "but you can come visit and there's always the holidays, I'll be back for them."
"But Christmas is over seven months away" Donna said miserably. She picked up her slice of pizza, looked at it listlessly and dropped it back on the plate "It won't be the same, we won't be able to hang out everyday, I won't be able to talk to you the way I do now."
"Of course you will Donna, I'll only ever be a phone call away" Brenda reminded her.
"It's not the same" Donna protested tearfully. "You say that you'll keep in touch, but you won't. You'll get caught up in your new life and your new friends in London and pretty soon you'll forget all about me." She pulled another tissue out of her jeans pocket and blew her nose hard.
"Hey come on, you know that's not true." Brenda said gently, putting her arm around Donna's shoulders comfortingly. "Donna I'll always be there for you, you know that."
Donna broke in to fresh tears "If you were really my friend you wouldn't leave me, not right now." She turned doleful eyes on Brenda "I need you Bren, please don't go."
Brenda winced, feeling guilty. She hated to see Donna so upset, but it couldn't be helped. "I'm sorry Donna" she said softly "but this is a big opportunity for me. I have to go."
"No you don't" Donna exclaimed bitterly. "You could stay here, go to California University. They have a great drama programme." She knew that she wasn't being fair, but she didn't feel very fair right now. With everything that was going on in her life at the moment she desperately needed the support of her friends and it felt like Brenda was abandoning her.
Brenda shook her head "You know I can't do that Donna" she said firmly. She frowned. She would be leaving in a little over a week and every day the thought of going away was getting harder. The idea of uprooting from Beverly Hills, striking out on her own halfway around the world was daunting.
It was hard. Leaving behind the people you loved was never easy, but when they were hurt or in trouble, when they needed you, leaving them was agony. She knew that she was letting Donna down. She was abandoning her friend right when she needed her most and she felt bad about it, really bad. She sighed heavily. Donna wasn't the only one who needed her; there was someone else, someone who needed her even more and she couldn't help but feel that she was letting him down too.
***
Kate Reilly gazed contemplatively at the young man seated opposite her. He was her last appointment in what had been a hectic day. She sighed. Sometimes she hated her job, wished she'd followed her father in to his law practice. She had turned thirty-two last week but some days she felt so much older.
'That's what this job'll do to you Kate' her boss Gabe Kirsch had warned her once 'turn you old before your time.' She smiled at the memory, Gabe was in his late forties, balding and thirty pounds overweight. His penchant for junk food and his addiction to cheap cigarettes made him a heart attack waiting to happen. His stress levels were through the roof thanks to the demands of his overbearing wife Nadine and their five kids. His perennially gloomy demeanour and unshakeable conviction that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, had earned him the nickname 'doom' amongst the rest of his staff, most of whom couldn't take him seriously.
Some days though Kate couldn't help but agree with him. You couldn't save everyone. It was a hard lesson and one that she had learned early in her career, just after she had qualified. Back then she had been a young idealistic therapist ready to take on the world. Now she was a jaded and slightly cynical professional. Most of the time she could handle it, she had learnt to deal with it, to accept defeat gracefully and move on, but every now and then a patient got to her.
She knew that she was sometimes guilty of getting too involved, of taking her work home with her. Too many of her relationships had ended because she'd been so caught up in trying to help her patient that she had neglected the man in her life. Her sister was three years younger and already married with two kids and another on the way, whereas Kate couldn't seem to sustain a long-term relationship.
Sometimes she wondered if it was all worth it. Was she wasting her time and her talents toiling away with very little to show for it. The problem with her line of work was that victories were few and far between. More often than not, weeks of painstaking work, drawing someone out little by little, ended with the patient relapsing and the whole process had to begin again.
Occasionally though, very occasionally you made a difference and that was what made it all worthwhile. This patient had really gotten to her and she'd put her heart and soul in to trying to help him. She knew that the first rule of counselling, was not to get too involved, but something about him about his sadness had called out to her and she had been determined not to add him to the list of failures.
Over the last two months she had slowly coaxed him in to talking about himself, about his life and the people in it. At times it had been frustrating when he had shut down, closed himself off, but just when she'd been about to give up she had reached him. He still had a long way to go, she was astute enough to realise that, but she had brought him through a personal crisis. Next week he would be leaving the clinic, returning to the outside world stronger and more able to face the challenges ahead and at least a part of that was down to her.
Yep some days she wondered if it was all really worth it, but today wasn't one of those days. A strand of blonde hair had escaped from her loosely tied ponytail. Tucking it behind her ear she smiled warmly at the dark haired young man seated opposite her.
"So Dylan, what would you like to talk about today?"