Author's note
Sorry for the delay in posting, but work has been crazy! As you'll notice this is a pretty long chapter, but it had to be, to enable me to tie up all the sub plots. Thanks for reading!
"And the condemned man ate a hearty last meal."
Guiltily Steve Sanders looked up from his half-eaten mega burger and fries to find Brandon Walsh standing in front of him. "So you read it" he concluded sheepishly.
"Yeah I read it" Brandon confirmed. "And now I want an explanation." Angrily he dumped the offending article down on the table in front of Steve.
"Breaking in to the school, cheating in the finals and then sitting back and letting Donna and David take the fall." He shook his head in disgust "Steve you've pulled some lame stunts in the past but this. What the hell were you thinking?"
"I screwed up Brandon." Steve admitted softly. "This time I really screwed up."
"You always screw up Steve" Brandon exclaimed in frustration. "You keep on screwing up." He glared at Steve angrily "And you know something, I'm getting pretty tired of bailing you out of trouble."
"I know." Steve's face was ashen and he looked as though he hadn't slept properly in weeks. "Look Brandon" he said desperately "You've gotta believe me I never meant for any of this to happen. I just wanted to get a look at the finals papers that's all. Things just got out of control."
"You never learn do you Steve?" Brandon snapped, banging his fist on the table and scoring some curious looks from the other patrons of the Peach Pit. Glancing around nervously, he lowered his voice "I mean cheating, come on you're smarter than that."
Steve shook his head resignedly "That's just it Brandon I'm not smart, at least not smart enough to make it to college without a little extra help."
"Steve if you were having trouble why didn't you just tell me?" Brandon asked in exasperation. Steve was his best friend, but sometimes he just didn't understand him at all, it was like they were on entirely different wavelengths.
Steve smiled ruefully, aware of the irony of his words "Because I knew you were getting sick of me being a screw up, I wanted you to think that I could do it on my own."
Brandon rolled his eyes. "Guess that didn't work out too well for you now did it" he said sarcastically.
"Look Brandon I know that you're mad at me right now and you have every right to be" Steve began tentatively.
"Mad at you" Brandon interrupted incredulously. "I'm not mad Steve I'm.." He paused, searching for the right word "disappointed." He shook his head in disbelief. "I thought you were better than this."
Steve wiped at the tears that suddenly pricked his eyes "I thought so too" he said quietly. "Brandon I let you down, I let Donna and David down and most of all I let myself down. I know that, I really do." He looked at Brandon forlornly "I never thought I'd get caught, no one was supposed to get hurt."
"But they did get hurt didn't they Steve" Brandon said pointedly. "You could have stopped it but you didn't, you let it happen." He was appalled that his best friend could do something so low.
Steve nodded, his blue eyes laden with guilt. "I know I should have owned up as soon as David was in the frame, but I was scared. I figured with my track record I'd get kicked out of school and never make it to college." He frowned. "I kept imagining what my father would say when he found out I messed up - again. I guess I'm just a lousy coward."
Sighing heavily, Brandon slumped down in the chair opposite Steve. This was turning out to be a long night and the surge of adrenalin he had felt when he first read the article was beginning to wear off. The initial flare of anger and disappointment had slowly ebbed away. Now he just felt empty and incredibly tired.
"Okay" he acknowledged wearily. "So why the sudden change of heart?" He eyed Steve suspiciously. "Did you suddenly develop a conscience or is this just another scam?
Unable to meet Brandon's accusatory gaze, Steve concentrated hard on pushing the fries around on his plate as he spoke. "I let it go too far" he admitted reluctantly. "Breaking in to the school and copying the papers that was one thing, but letting David take the blame…"
He hesitated, taking a deep breath before continuing. "Like you said, I've pulled some dumb stunts before and you've all forgiven me." Slowly, painfully he wrenched his eyes from the plate, forcing himself to look directly at Brandon. "I didn't think you'd forgive me for this. That's why I kept quiet for so long. I guess somewhere along the line it stopped being about disappointing my father or about missing out on College. It was about disappointing my friends."
Brandon nodded. He was experiencing a growing sense of unease that somehow he had unwittingly contributed to this whole mess. "So you're saying you backed yourself in to a corner and couldn't find a way out."
Steve managed a wan smile "Exactly." He sighed heavily. "But I finally realised that I'd be letting my friends down a whole lot more if I let them take the blame for something I did." Taking a deep breath he released it slowly. "I know what I have to do." He pushed the article back across the table to Brandon. "I just need your help to do it." He looked at Brandon imploringly "The question is are you going to help me?"
***
Andrea Zuckerman pulled out the top drawer, turned it upside down and unceremoniously dumped the contents. An assortment of pens, half used notepads, floppy disks and a packet of mints cascaded on to the desk. Quickly she wiped away the tears that were forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe she was getting sentimental over a few chewed up biros and a lousy packet of mints. Still, clearing out her desk in 'The Blaze' office kinda brought home to her the finality of it all.
They were leaving high school, they were really going, this chapter of her life was really over. She'd loved her time on 'the Blaze' and it wasn't just about journalism. Working on the paper had afforded her the opportunity to spend time with Brandon. It was the one thing that they worked on together and now it was over. She took out a tissue and wiped her eyes - again.
"Andrea Zuckerman leaving 'The Blaze,' it's like the end of an era." Brandon Walsh commented from his vantage point at the door.
Startled out of her reverie Andrea looked up sheepishly, wondering just how long he'd been standing there and how much of her soppy sentimentalism he had witnessed. She smiled ruefully. "I know what you mean." She sighed heavily hating the finality of it all "Our final edition is out, everything is packed up for the summer and the new editor is fully briefed and ready to take over."
Brandon returned the smile "Then I guess our work here is done."
Andrea nodded, gazing fondly around the office. He was right, there was nothing left to do but clear out her desk and go on home. It was strange, but the office seemed so much bigger now it was empty. The rest of the newspaper staff had packed up their belongings and vacated the place hours ago, now there was only the two of them left. As outgoing editor it was her responsibility to lock up the office and return the keys to Mrs Teasely. She'd been delaying the moment for as long as possible, not wanting to admit that her tenure on the paper had come to an end. "I guess you're right Brandon, it's time to move on" she admitted reluctantly.
Brandon joined her at her desk, and began wordlessly sorting through the junk that was still lying there. Finally he broke the silence "I have to hand it to you chief that was some farewell edition. Exposing the legacy key trickster, getting his confession in print, that's one hell of a scoop." He spoke stiffly unable to meet her eyes.
Andrea looked up sharply. This was the first time he had mentioned the whole legacy key incident since they had put the paper to bed last week. She knew that he was hurting, but so far he had bottled it all up, refused to discuss his feelings even with her. Instead he had acted like nothing had happened, almost as though he were in denial. She had tried so many times to get him to talk to her, this was the break through she had been hoping for. She squeezed his arm reassuringly "You did the right thing Brandon."
Brandon nodded. "I know, it's just that publicly exposing my best friend as a cheat and a liar wasn't exactly what I had planned for my final by line" he said bitterly.
"I know." Andrea regarded him critically. His eyes had lost their usual sparkle. He looked tired, defeated, jaded. Yes jaded was definitely the right word she decided. "Do you have any idea what's going to happen to Steve?" she asked gently.
Brandon shook his head "I haven't talked to him. Not since he got kicked out of school." He hesitated " I guess I haven't felt like I wanted to."
"Well that's understandable." Andrea said reassuringly.
Brandon was staring off in to space, lost in his own thoughts. He didn't seem to register that she had spoken. Andrea realised with a sudden flash of insight that he wasn't looking for advice or reassurance right now; he just needed someone to listen. She remained silent, waiting, willing to listen for as long as he needed to talk.
"You know all through graduation I kept expecting him to turn up, tell me it was a joke, the most elaborate leaving prank ever." He frowned. "Part of me is just so mad at him for lying to me, for what he put Donna and David through." Brandon explained. He rubbed the back of his neck trying to ease the tension that had been a permanent fixture for the past week. "And the other part of me feels like I let him down. Like I wasn't a good enough friend" he admitted morosely.
"Brandon you're a great friend." Andrea interjected unable to allow that to pass unchallenged. "None of this is your fault. You're not responsible for what Steve does."
"Aren't I?" Brandon asked, turning troubled eyes on her. "I just can't help feeling like I should take some of the blame here." He shook his head in disgust.
"Steve figured that he wasn't good enough. He thought that to be my friend he had to get high grades had to get in to a fancy college, it's like I drove him to cheat just to live up to my high expectations."
He hung his head guiltily. "But that's not even the worst part. The worst part is that my best friend was in trouble and he didn't feel like he could come to me for help. What does that say about me?"
"But he did come to you for help" Andrea pointed out. "Maybe not right away and you're right maybe if he had come to you sooner none of this would have happened." She looked at him intently, willing him to understand "But in the end Brandon you were the one he turned to, nobody else. You have to believe that there's a reason for that."
Wearily Brandon sat down on the edge of Andrea's desk. "Thank you" he said softly.
"What for?" Andrea asked gently, perching next to him.
"For always being there, for always knowing what to say to make me feel better. He looked at her earnestly "I thought I had it all figured out you know. I thought I knew who my friends were. I thought I was a good judge of character. Turns out I was wrong."
Andrea shook her head vehemently "No you weren't wrong Brandon, it just feels like that right now."
"When I found out that Dylan and Kelly had cheated on Brenda and that Donna had covered up for them I couldn't believe it" Brandon continued softly. "I felt so sorry for Bren having her trust betrayed like that by the people closest to her."
He laughed bitterly. "I thought I was lucky in comparison, having a friend like Steve, a friend that I could depend on. I just feel so stupid for being taken in like that."
He slammed his fist on the desk in frustration sending a bunch of biros clattering to the floor. "I don't know what to do Andrea. First Dylan and Kelly, then Donna, now Steve. I just don't know who to trust anymore."
Andrea took hold of his hand, held it tight. "You can trust me Brandon, I won't let you down."
Brandon squeezed her hand in return "I know." He looked at her intently as though noticing her properly for the first time. "You know if it wasn't for you Andrea, I don't think I could have gotten through this year. You're the one person I can honestly count as a true friend." He smiled at her warmly. "I don't ever want to do anything to jeopardise our friendship, it's too important to me. I want us to stay friends for ever."
Feeling like her heart was breaking, Andrea forced herself to smile in return. "You're absolutely right Brandon. You know something, you and me, we'll always be friends, that's what we're meant to be."
***
"So it's true, you're really going?" Kelly Taylor asked as she manoeuvred her way around the assortment of luggage currently blocking the hallway of Cassa Walsh.
"What's the matter Kelly?" Brenda retorted "Worried I might change my mind and stay after all?" A hint of a smile played on her lips; just enough to let Kelly know that she was joking- at least for the most part.
Kelly rolled her eyes "Would you believe me if I told you I was here to try and talk you out of it?"
Brenda grinned "Not for a second."
Kelly returned the smile "Didn't think so" she said lightly. "Besides it wouldn't do any good. "If Donna couldn't get you to change your mind I doubt if I'd fare any better." Her eyes glinted mischievously. "You can be pretty stubborn once you've set your mind on something."
"I'm not stubborn, I just know my own mind." Brenda countered, deliberately taking the bait. The gentle teasing was one of the signs that they were slowly repairing the damage to their friendship. They were under no illusions, the damage had been major and there was no guarantee it could be fixed. The friendship had been blown apart, but over the last two months they had tentatively begun the slow and painstaking task of putting it back together. It was ironic really that the same thing that had shattered their relationship and ended up being the one thing that had pushed them back together, their mutual feelings for Dylan.
They had worked together to get him in to rehab and somehow it had reopened the channels of communication and understanding between them. They didn't hang out together, they didn't call each other, but things were a little less awkward. They had even managed one slightly strained shopping trip chaperoned by Donna when she and David had learned that they were off the hook for the school break in. Still they were not on good enough terms for Kelly to call round to the house without a reason. Brenda wondered just what that reason might be.
"So when are you leaving?" Kelly asked as she followed Brenda in to the kitchen in the direction of coffee.
"Today." Brenda admitted as she filled the kettle and started it boiling.
"Today!" Kelly exclaimed in shock "I had no idea you were leaving so soon."
Brenda nodded "I'm booked on a flight to London tonight." She tried to sound casual, like starting a new life halfway across the world was no big deal, but inside she was a mass of nerves. She just wanted to get it over with, to get on the plane already before anyone had the chance to talk her out of it.
"I'll miss you." Kelly admitted. Catching Brenda's incredulous look she continued quietly "I know things are difficult between us, but I don't want you to go anymore than Donna does."
Brenda was confused. "I thought you'd want me out of the way so that you could have Dylan all to yourself."
Kelly sighed heavily "I told you, we're finished. Or at least we will be when he gets out of rehab" she amended.
She hadn't spoken to Dylan since he had checked in to the clinic. During his two-month stay he had completely cut himself off from the outside world, the clinic had suggested it would be better that way. He had been in a dark place the last time she had seen him, a very dark place and she didn't think she could cope with that again. They had parted on bad terms and she wasn't sure how things would be between them when he got out, but she knew that she had to end it.
"Have you heard from him?" Brenda asked stiffly not sure she really wanted Kelly to answer.
Kelly shook her head "No, not since he went in there." She eyed Brenda suspiciously "Have you?"
Now Brenda understood "So that's why you came over here, to find out if I'd been in contact with Dylan." She scowled "I should have known. You know Kelly you keep telling me that it's over between you, but it's obvious you still have feelings for him."
"Of course I still have feelings for him Brenda" Kelly said defensively. "I was in love with Dylan, feelings like that don't just disappear over night." She looked at Brenda meaningfully "You of all people should know that."
Brenda looked at her sharply "What's that supposed to mean?"
Kelly laughed "Oh come on Brenda do I have to spell it out? We might not be close anymore, but we used to be. I know you remember. You might be able to fool everybody else, but you can't fool me, I can see it in your eyes, you still love Dylan."
"You're wrong" Brenda snapped. "You don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you used to know me, but I'm different now and you don't know me anymore."
Kelly held up her hands in mock defeat "Okay if that's the way you want it fine. But Brenda I want you to think about one thing. I might have come between you and Dylan this year, I broke up your relationship, I admit that. But if you're relationship stays broken, it won't be because of me."
Brenda gripped her coffee cup tightly so that Kelly couldn't see that her hands were shaking. She didn't want to hear this, not now it was too late. She had made her decision; she was going to London and leaving Dylan behind.
She regarded Kelly critically "So you came all the way over here to convince me to give Dylan another chance." She laughed bitterly. "You'll have to excuse me if I find that hard to believe."
"Actually that's not the reason I came over here" Kelly admitted softly.
"Then why did you come?" Brenda's eyes were accusatory, she still couldn't trust Kelly and it showed.
Kelly shrugged. "Actually I just came to say goodbye." She shifted uncomfortably. "I figured you probably wouldn't bother calling me and there were some things I wanted to say."
Brenda took her coffee over to the table "I'm listening."
Kelly hesitated she wasn't good at this heart to heart stuff it just didn't come naturally. "I guess I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad that you moved here and I'm glad that we became friends. She paused, took a sip of her coffee. "I know that after everything that's happened, you probably won't believe this, but I will always be there for you no matter where you go or what you do." She looked down at the table, finding this difficult. "I just wanted you to know that."
Brenda smiled "You know that was pretty good Kel. Did Donna help you come up with that or did you write it yourself."
Kelly smiled too "Okay she may have had a little to do with it" she admitted. They both laughed.
Brenda shook her head in amazement "You know you have to hand it to Donna she doesn't give up easily."
Kelly nodded "She always said she wasn't gonna give up on this friendship. If she couldn't get you to change your mind about leaving she at least wanted us to part on good terms." She turned serious for a moment "It didn't just come from Donna you know, I meant every word."
Brenda studied her for a moment trying to determine the sincerity of the admission. Wordlessly she got up from the table and retrieved pen and paper from the Kitchen drawer. She scrawled some lines on the paper and passed it over to Kelly.
"What's this?" Kelly asked puzzled.
"My address in London" Brenda explained. "I guess it would be okay if you wrote to me while I'm over there."
***
Brenda stared out at the ocean watching as the late afternoon sunlight sparkled on the water. The beach was one of the things she would miss about LA. Sure they had beaches in England, but they didn't enjoy this kind of weather, not often anyway. She was spending the afternoon visiting her favourite haunts of the past three years, saying her own silent goodbye to Beverly Hills. She tried to focus on the moment, memorise the scene before her and capture it in her imagination so that she could take it with her to London.
She'd already said goodbye to her friends and it had been hard, even harder than she had expected, but now it was done. Without her permission her mind flipped back to her conversation with Kelly. She was glad that they had built some bridges before she left. Who knows maybe being in different countries would make their friendship work, at least then they wouldn't be competing with each other anymore.
Yes she was glad that she had seen Kelly, except that she couldn't get Kelly's words out of her head. The problem was Kelly was right; she was still in love with Dylan. It didn't matter anymore. She checked her watch. In a couple of hours she would be on her way to the airport, on the way to her new life. By the time Dylan got out of rehab she would be long gone.
***
Kate Reilly signed the last form and handed the sheaf of papers to the receptionist behind the desk. "Okay Dylan that's you sprung, you're officially a free man." She looked at him inquiringly "So do you have any idea what you're gonna do now you're outta here?"
Dylan nodded, determination flashing in his eyes "I've got a pretty good idea."