At the first peel of the doorbell, Kelly sighed heavily and tossed aside the novel she'd been half-heartedly reading. Steve was early.
"Kel would you do me a favour and get the door." Jackie Taylor called from the nursery along the hallway. Her voice was strained, irritable.
'I'm already on it Mom' Kelly called back, swinging her legs over the side of her double bed and pushing her blonde hair back behind her ears.
"And whoever it is please try and get rid of them' Jackie continued tiredly. 'I've just gotten Erin off and I want to get some rest myself while I've got the chance." She groaned 'It's just so darned hot today everything seems to take twice the effort!'
"Don't worry I'll take care of it." Kelly promised.
She knew her mom was exhausted right now. Erin was barely a year old and already a handful and her mom wasn't exactly getting any younger. At first Kelly had been a little resentful of the amount of time Jackie spent with Erin, but now she understood just how much work having a child in the house entailed.
Mel was real busy at the surgery right now and Jackie was thankful for any help she could get. Although she sometimes complained, Kelly was actually enjoying helping out. At various points in her life, she had dreamed of having a brother or sister. Okay so the reality didn't quite match the fantasy, but still she loved the little girl dearly and couldn't imagine life without her.
She smiled. Things at home had gotten a lot better recently, especially since David had been cleared of the break in. In fact, life in the Taylor-Silver household had pretty much returned to normal - or at least as normal as it could ever be with David Silver as a stepbrother! With a sigh, she paused briefly in front of the large mirror in the hallway and screwed up her face at her own reflection.
'Great look Kel' she muttered sarcastically.
Getting back from Cassa Walsh, she'd quickly discarded her carefully selected attire and pulled on an outfit more fitting for a lazy afternoon in the sun. Last year's strawberry red shorts, which still sported a black ink stain on the pocket from the faulty biro she'd thoughtlessly stashed there, her old tennis shoes that were scuffed on the toes, a black bikini top and her hair piled carelessly on the top of her head. The make-up she'd put on to see Brenda had long since rubbed off. Although the afternoon was now ebbing in to early evening, the heat of the day lingered uncomfortably. It was just too hot to worry about glamour, even for Kelly Taylor, and besides right now it wasn't like she had anyone to dress up for.
The doorbell rang again.
'I'm coming Steve' she called, making a fruitless, token attempt to improve her appearance. She'd planned to change before he showed up, but his early arrival had put paid to that. She could just make out his outline through the frosted glass of the front door. He was turned away from her, looking out towards the street.
She hadn't talked to him in a couple of days and she was worried about him. She'd been mad at him at first, they all had, but she knew that he didn't need another lecture. Steve didn't need her or anyone else to tell him that what he had done was wrong, he already knew that. What he needed was someone on his side, someone willing to give him a second chance. When she'd needed a friend, Steve Sanders had given her that second chance and right now it was time for her to return the favour. Their relationship was strictly platonic these days, but that special bond they had created was still there and she hoped it always would be, no matter what else was going on in their lives.
Buoyed up by her conversation with Brenda that morning, she'd invited Steve over in the hope that she could initiate a reconciliation between him and David. Now he was actually here though, she was beginning to doubt the wisdom of her plan. She swallowed nervously suddenly afraid. What if she made things worse instead of better? It was too late now though, because Steve was here and she was gonna have to let him in. Taking a deep breath and fixing a smile on her face she opened the front door.
Her heart caught in her chest.
"Hello Kel" Dylan said solemnly.
***
She looked at him, drinking him in. He stood on the front step silently gazing back, his eyes searching hers. Neither of them spoke. For Kelly, everything else disappeared – Erin, her mother, Steve, all were instantly forgotten. Sporting his habitual leather jacket and white tee, he looked cool and collected, remarkably unaffected by the heat that had overpowered everyone else. He looked perfect. On the light breeze that tugged at the loose tendrils of her hair, she caught the faint tang of his aftershave, a fragrance she'd bought for him.
Kelly swallowed hard. He was exactly as she'd pictured him in her dreams. Part of her needed to reach out and touch him, to check that he was real, that this wasn't another useless fantasy that would elude her in the harsh light of day. She'd imagined this moment, longed for it even, but now it was here, she found she was at a loss for words. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Slowly, oh so slowly, he took a step towards her. Hesitantly, he reached out a hand as if to wipe away the tear. Awkwardly he paused, his hand hanging indecisively in the air between them. She could almost see the battle raging across his face. He made another move towards her and then dropped his hand, letting it hang redundantly by his side.
'I'm sorry Kel' he said sadly.
"Dylan what are you.. I mean how are you … you're here." Kelly finally stammered, frantically wiping at her eyes.
Dylan nodded "I'm like a bad penny" he said ruefully. "I always turn up."
"You look good" she observed awkwardly "better".
"I'm sober Kel, if that's what you're wondering" he said softly.
"Dylan that's great" she said, a smile breaking out on her face at last.
Instinctively she reached to place a hand on his arm. She touched the cool leather of his jacket and then hesitated, suddenly unsure of the boundaries. The last time they'd spoken he'd told her to leave, to leave and not to come back. She realised that she had no idea how things stood between them right now. Giving his arm a cursory squeeze, she quickly dropped her hand back to her side.
Dylan cleared his throat "Kel I wanted to apologise' he began 'The things I said .."
"We both said things Dylan" Kelly admitted, but he shook his head refuting her argument.
"I was in a mess Kel" he continued urgently "you've gotta understand, it wasn't me."
"I know it wasn't you Dylan" she said slowly. Looking him straight in the eye she took a deep breath "It was us."
***
"Brenda, your cab's here." Cindy Walsh called excitedly from the kitchen.
"I'm coming mom," Brenda answered, taking one last look around her room; it would be six months before she saw it again. By the time she returned summer would be a distant memory, and fall would have given way to winter or what passed for winter in sunny California. She sighed heavily. The next time she saw the house, it would be decorated for Christmas. It was a sobering thought.
She wondered briefly what her room in London would be like. She wouldn't see it until the fall. She would have one night in a hotel in London and then she would be off on tour travelling the length and breadth of the country. She relished the prospect of such a nomadic existence, being out on the road, a different city every week, living out of a suitcase. Then when the tour was over, she would return to London to at last start her training at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.
She took a deep breath, picked up her bag and after one more lingering look, closed her bedroom door firmly behind her. She was finally ready to move on, to leave Beverly Hills behind. This was it, the start of her big adventure, the first day of the rest of her life. A thrill of excitement ran through her and she shivered despite the heat.
By the time she'd reached the bottom of the stairs her dad and Brandon had already loaded her trunk in to the back of the cab. She could hear them through the open window, making idle conversation with the cab driver, inevitably talking sports. Squinting against the brightness of the sun as she stepped outside, Brenda walked slowly over to join her mom on the driveway.
"Oh honey I wish you'd let us go with you to the airport" Cindy Walsh exclaimed wistfully.
Brenda shook her head "Mom we've been through this. It'll just make it harder on me, I'd rather say goodbye here, I don't want to drag it out."
"I know you're right" Cindy said resignedly wiping away a tear "It's just I'm gonna miss you so much."
"I'll miss you too mom" Brenda admitted fighting tears herself.
"Just remember Brenda your mother and I are only ever a phone call away and we'll always be here for you." Jim Walsh said solemnly as he and Brandon joined them. Brenda hugged him tightly, reluctant to let go. She felt safe and secure in her father's arms and the thought of striking out on her own suddenly seemed daunting.
"I know you're a grown woman now Brenda" Jim admitted as he finally released her. "But you're still my little girl and I want you to promise that you'll take care of yourself while you're over there."
"I will Dad I promise." Brenda said earnestly wanting to reassure him.
"You know Dad maybe you could pay for me to take a trip over there this summer." Brandon interjected. "I could check up on her, make sure everything's fine." He grinned wickedly. "You know I've always been the more responsible twin. If Brenda does go off the rails I'm just the person to get her back on track." He puffed out his chest in mock pride. "I've done a pretty good job of taking care of her so far."
"Hey!" Brenda exclaimed pretending to be insulted "I can take of myself."
Brandon pulled a face and spoke in a stage whisper. "I know you can Bren, but I'm trying to score a free vacation here, can't you just play along with me for old time's sake?"
Brenda laughed. "I'm gonna miss you Brandon."
"I'm gonna miss you too Bren." Brandon responded serious for a moment. He wagged a finger at her "Now don't you go enjoying London too much d'ya hear. We don't want you staying over there and forgetting all about us."
"I won't." Brenda promised. She hugged him fiercely, burying her face in his shoulder so that he wouldn't notice the tears that were threatening. She wished that he were coming with her. They had never really been separated before and not having him around would be weird. She knew that she sometimes took him for granted, but she had always been grateful for the closeness of their relationship, the knowledge that he was always there, always looking out for her.
As they broke free, Brandon felt as though a part of him was being torn away. He couldn't even begin to imagine life without Brenda. Her move to London would be a big change for all of them and things were gonna be pretty strange without her around. No doubt about it, it was gonna take some getting used to.
"Just one more thing before you go." He announced mysteriously, signalling for Brenda to stay put.
Curiously Brenda watched as he jogged back in to the house. Normally she loved surprises, but right now she was a little on edge. Her friends had been trying to convince her to stay for the last few weeks and she wouldn't put it past Brandon or Donna to make one final attempt to change her mind. She half expected to see the whole gang appear on the doorstep. To her relief Brandon emerged alone from the cool darkness of the house. He was carrying a brown paper bag.
"What's this?" She asked intrigued and a little suspicious.
"Call it a going away gift." Brandon explained. "We didn't want you to leave without a little something to remember us by." He held it out to her a smile playing at his lips. "We all clubbed together."
Brenda looked inquiringly at her parents, but they were as bemused as she was. Taking the bag from Brandon, she reached inside and retrieved - an umbrella!
"I hear they get a lot of rain in London" Brandon offered by way of explanation, laughing at her confused expression. "We figured this might come in useful. We didn't want to think of you all cold and wet in London, while we were here with endless days of blue skies and beautiful sunshine."
"Very funny." Brenda retorted punching him playfully on the arm. Still she took the umbrella and stowed it safely in her bag, he was right it would come in handy. "Be sure and thank everyone for me won't you" she instructed, suddenly emotional.
Brandon nodded understanding the poignancy of her words "I will." He gave her arm a final squeeze "Don't be a stranger okay Bren."
Brenda smiled "Have a good summer Brandon and don't work too hard when you get to CU. Try and have a little fun."
"Brenda you'd better get going" Jim interrupted "You don't want to miss your flight."
Brenda nodded, he was right it was time to go. After giving her mom a final hug she picked up her bag and strode determinedly over to the cab where the driver was waiting patiently, reading a newspaper. She was ready to do this, ready to start her new life. This was it, no turning back now.
As the cab pulled out of the driveway and the waving figures of her parents and Brandon grew smaller and smaller until finally disappearing from view, Brenda reached under the lapel of her jacket and felt the cold metal of the little broach. Her fingers traced the outlines of the masks of tragedy and comedy. The broach had become her lucky mascot since the audition and she hoped it would work its magic again this summer. It was the only reminder of Dylan that she had brought with her and although its presence gave some comfort, she felt a pang of regret that she was moving on and leaving him behind.
***
Seated on opposite sides of the couch, Kelly and Dylan surveyed each other in awkward silence.
Kelly began tentatively "Dylan, we need to talk."
"Yeah we do" he agreed, picking at the cushion next to him.
They lapsed into silence again and Kelly shifted nervously in her seat. Painfully aware of her ink stained shorts, old bikini top and untidy hair, she picked up the chiffon wrap she had discarded earlier that afternoon and pulled it closer around her shoulders. She wished fervently that she had re-applied her make up before answering the door or at least sprayed on some perfume.
They hadn't seen each other in over two months and she had wanted to look her best for him when she did finally see him again. Her looks were usually the one thing that gave her confidence, but today even her appearance made her feel awkward and uneasy. He had taken her completely by surprise and she was at a distinct disadvantage.
Dylan tapped his foot, gazing for a moment out the window at the heat haze that shimmered over the back lawn. He ran a finger around the inside of his jacket collar; it really was unbearably hot, yet it wasn't the weather that was making him feel uncomfortable right now.
'I guess one of us needs to start' Kelly said in a small voice, interrupting his thoughts.
He nodded, knowing it had to be him. This was a whole lot harder than he'd thought it was gonna be. When he'd left the clinic everything had been clear, but now, seeing her again …
"Dylan how did it come to this?" Kelly asked suddenly "How did we come to this?"
He leant forward, resting his elbows on his knees and looked into her deep blue eyes. He felt his heart twinge "I don't know Kel" he said sadly " I wanted it to work, wanted us to work …"
"But it didn't" she said quietly "we didn't." Even though she had admitted it to herself a long time ago she still found the words painful. She had been so sure that breaking up was the right thing to do, but now seeing him again, back to his old self, she felt her resolve weakening. Maybe, just maybe she had been too hasty maybe they could try again.
"No" he said finally, shattering her hopes with a single word. "We didn't work."
"Dylan" she said softly, only the slightest break in her voice giving away the emotion she struggled so valiantly to control "Did you ever really love me?"
He looked at her then, saw the brave defiance in her eyes, the slight tremble of her lower lip "Yes Kel" he said simply "I did."
"But you didn't love me enough" she said, the tears beginning to threaten, as much as she tried to contain them.
He shook his head "I'm sorry." This time he did wipe away her tears, letting his fingers gently trace the outline of her face.
"That night at the hold up' he said quietly "I wanted it to end, I wanted it to be over."
"Us?" Kelly asked wiping at fresh tears that she now couldn't stop.
"Me" he said "I wanted me to be over".
He looked at her for a long moment and suddenly she understood.
"Oh Dylan" she said, her heart breaking. She looked at him, eyes wide with shock. "What did I do?" she said to herself, shaking her head in disbelief "How did I hurt you so much?"
"Kel, no" he said urgently, desperate to stop her tirade. But she wasn't listening.
She pulled away from him, pacing up and down, fists clenching and unclenching "It's all my fault" she said bitterly, still talking to herself.
"No" Dylan said "Don't do this to yourself Kel, it wasn't your fault, it wasn't anyone's fault."
She was standing now, pacing "I hurt you, I hurt Brenda, I hurt my friends .." She spun angrily "It's me isn't it" she said "I'll never change. I always screw up."
Standing up Dylan caught her by the arms and held her tightly "No Kel" he said. "It isn't you." He sighed heavily "I'm the one who screwed up."
Gently he guided her back to the couch and eased her into a sitting position. Sitting opposite her he took her hands. Unable to meet her tear filled eyes, he dropped his gaze, concentrating on the scuffed toes of her old tennis shoes. Even dressed down she still looked beautiful.
Taking a deep breath he looked up once more "I've been a coward Kel" he admitted. "All you asked me to do was make a choice and I couldn't. I didn't know what I wanted, who I wanted. I couldn't bring myself to choose."
Kelly looked at him ruefully "But now you can?" she asked in a small voice already knowing the answer, already knowing the decision.
He nodded resolutely "Now I can."
***
Brenda Walsh carried her coffee over to one of the few remaining empty chairs and carefully placed it on the floor in front of her. The departure lounge was hot and overcrowded and the decibel level had increased steadily over the past hour. A spate of delays had meant that the lounge was fuller than usual and boredom had turned to impatience for many frustrated travellers.
Brenda exchanged a sympathetic smile with the young mother seated next to her who was trying valiantly to keep her mischievous toddler under control, whilst gently rocking a sleeping baby. The middle-aged woman opposite had her head buried in the latest Jackie Collins, whilst her husband whiled away the time snoring quietly, his head resting against his wife's shoulder.
Needing a distraction, Brenda dug around in her bag and retrieved the battered paperback she had brought for the journey. Checking her watch she realised she had a little over an hour until her flight. She shifted in her seat trying to get comfortable on the hard airport chair and opened her book hoping the hour would pass quickly.
***
His heart hammering against his ribcage Dylan McKay drove the Porsche with little consideration for his own safety or the speed limit. For all he knew he could already be too late. Kelly had said that Brenda was leaving tonight, but she hadn't known what time. Logically he knew that Brenda could be halfway to London by now, but his heart refused to accept it. There was still time, there had to be, he had to have his chance to talk to her, to explain, to tell her how he felt.
Reluctantly he slammed on the brakes for a red light, fingers drumming impatiently on the steering wheel as he waited. Minutes felt like hours and Dylan screamed silently in frustration. As soon as the lights changed he stomped on the gas, roaring away in a screech of rubber.
***
"Alright, alright I'm coming." Brandon Walsh yelled irritably, as the pounding on the door grew louder and more insistent. He had a shift at the Peach Pit tonight and he was already running late. He hoped that whoever this was wouldn't hold him up too long. Yanking the door open his eyes widened in surprise to find Dylan McKay standing in front of him.
"Where's Brenda? I have to talk to her" Dylan demanded, attempting to barge past Brandon into the house. He spoke so quickly that Brandon had difficulty understanding him.
"Whoah, slow down there, I don't think you're in any condition to talk to Brenda" Brandon insisted, placing both hands on Dylan's chest and pushing him backwards, away from the door. He figured Dylan was drunk and in the mood for trouble.
Dylan's frustration threatened to boil over. He balled his left fist and drew back his arm preparing to knock Brandon down.
Brandon stood his ground, his eyes challenging Dylan to try it. Dylan was just about desperate enough to do it and a few months ago he probably would have, but not now. Reluctantly he dropped his arm down by his side and took a step back signalling to Brandon that he wasn't about to do anything stupid.
"Look Brandon I'm not drunk if that's what you think" he said tiredly. "I just need to talk to Brenda."
"I think you've hurt Brenda enough already, don't you?" Brandon asked, the resentment evident in his voice. He stood firm, arms across his chest, blocking Dylan's path.
Dylan scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "While I was in rehab I did a lot of thinking." He looked faintly embarrassed "I had some counselling and it helped me figure a few things out. Now I know what I want." He paused meaningfully "Who I want."
Brandon shook his head in disbelief. "It's not just about what you want Dylan" he said angrily. "What about Brenda, what about what she wants?"
"Have you asked her Brandon, have you asked her what she wants?" Dylan demanded, fear making him impatient.
"She doesn't want you." Brandon said with an air of finality. "She's moved on and she doesn't need you back in her life messing things up. She's starting a new life in London, a life without you."
Dylan swallowed hard, fighting the panic that rose inside him. "Look Brandon I know I messed up, I hurt Brenda, I dug myself a very deep hole and for a while there I didn't think I could get out of it." He hesitated finding it difficult to put into words the emotional torment of the last few months. "But I did get out of it" he said resolutely. "I am out of it."
Brandon surveyed him coolly. He was angry, angry with Dylan for hurting Brenda, angry with Dylan for driving her away, angry too that he had broken the bonds of friendship. Obviously Dylan's spell in rehab had done him good. He seemed together, in control, but Dylan was only ever one drink away from destruction and Brandon's faith in his friend had been badly shaken.
"So now what?" He asked bitterly "You get out of rehab and show up here expecting us to roll out the red carpet, welcome you back in to the fold like nothing ever happened?"
Dylan sighed heavily; he didn't blame Brandon for being hostile, the guy had every right to hate him. "I don't expect anything" he said stiffly. "I made a mistake. All I'm asking for is the chance to apologise, to explain." He looked at Brandon imploringly. "Please just let me talk to Brenda."
Brandon hesitated. He couldn't believe that after everything that had happened it had come to this one moment. He had the opportunity to finish it right here right now, to remove Dylan McKay from Brenda's life for good. All he had to do was lie, tell Dylan that he was too late, that the plane had already left. He swallowed hard, struggling with the decision.
"You know Dylan I've always been on your side" he said eventually. "Even when things got really bad, I always supported you and Brenda because I honestly believed that you loved her."
"I do love her Brandon" Dylan responded without hesitation. "I love her and I want to be with her."
Brandon shook his head "Well you've got a funny way of showing it."
"I know. That's why I need to talk to her" Dylan said desperately. "Please Brandon. If Brenda doesn't want to listen to me then that's up to her, but at least give her that option. If not for me then for her."
Brandon took a deep breath and slowly released it. There was something about the desperation in Dylan's eyes, the urgency in his voice that made Brandon believe him. Briefly he closed his eyes trying to concentrate. Months ago Brenda had confessed to him that she was still in love with Dylan. Maybe she would take him back and maybe she wouldn't, but Brandon knew that it had to be Brenda's decision and that whatever he felt about Dylan right now, he had to give her the opportunity to make it.
Reluctantly he opened his eyes and faced Dylan. "She's at the airport booked on an eight-thirty flight to London. If you go now you might just get there in time."
Dylan felt relief wash over him; there was still a chance. "Thank you" he said simply.
As Dylan headed back to his car Brandon called after him. "Dylan. Don't make me regret this." He watched as the Porsche screeched out of sight and wondered uneasily if he had done the right thing.
***
Dylan charged in to the departure lounge and came to a stop breathing heavily. His eyes scanned the room desperate to find her. He whirled around, checking every direction. A glimpse of long dark hair sparked a glimmer of hope. He started to move, then felt sick with disappointment when the girl turned around. It wasn't her. He checked his watch 8.29pm; of course, she would be at the gate by now.
Racing over to the bank of computer screens he searched frantically for her flight number. Panic rose in his throat, he couldn't see it, it wasn't there. Forcing himself to slow down he took a deep breath and looked again working his way methodically through the list. Precious seconds ticked away as he made painfully slow progress and then suddenly he saw it - Gate 12. He took off at a run leaping over hand luggage that someone had carelessly left in the aisle, barrelling in to a young couple that were blocking his path.
Reaching the gate he raced along the line frantically trying to locate her. His tee shirt soaked through with sweat clung to his back; his breath came in ragged bursts and his lungs burned, but he didn't slow down. Confused he reached the end of the line - she wasn't there. He ran back along the line somehow he had missed her, but still nothing. At a loss he slowed to a stop, suddenly unsure what to do.
"Is this the London flight?" He rasped breathlessly at a young guy who was lounging against the wall, reading a magazine.
Startled the guy glanced up "No man, this one's going to Paris." He winked and indicated his girlfriend a petite redhead who was re-applying her make up. "We're on our way to the city of love. I'm hoping I'm gonna get me some lovin there, if ya know what I mean."
Dylan nodded mutely, walking slowly away. He lent against the wall, closing his eyes in defeat. Dark, empty disappointment engulfed him and he sank to his knees, buried his head in his hands. He was too late. She'd gone.
He jumped as a hand touched his shoulder. "Are you alright? Are you sick?" an elderly, English voice asked firmly and clearly.
Blinking distractedly, he found himself staring in to the concerned eyes of a well dressed woman in her seventies. "I'm fine" he mumbled embarrassed, struggling to his feet. "Thank you." It was a brief exchange, but it broke his inertia. He had failed and now there was nothing to do but go home.
In a daze Dylan walked back to the departure lounge. Head down he paid no attention to his surroundings, automatically placing one foot in front of the other.
"Dylan! What are you doing here?" Her voice, immediately recognisable to him, cut into his thoughts, touched his very soul.
Dylan spun around in shocked disbelief. She was standing behind him barely two feet away, her dark hair tied up in a loose knot on the top of her head, tendrils framing her face.
Brenda froze in place two steps from the café; the bagel she'd just bought dropped from her hands and tumbled to the floor.
"I thought you'd gone" Dylan stammered "Your plane.."
"Got delayed" Brenda explained coolly, a slight edge to her voice. She stared at him in stunned silence, her heart somersaulting painfully in her chest. She couldn't believe that fate could play such a cruel trick on her, especially so late in the game. It just wasn't fair. She had been ready to get on that plane, would have done so by now if it hadn't been delayed. But it had been delayed and here she was and now here Dylan was.
Then again maybe it wasn't a cruel trick, maybe it was a second chance, their second chance. Call it luck, call it coincidence, but if her plane hadn't been delayed she would have gone and she never would have known that Dylan had come after her. Had the fates or destiny somehow conspired to bring them back together? She longed to believe that, to once again have faith in the knowledge that Dylan McKay was her soul mate, but after everything that had happened this year, everything he had put her through, she wasn't ready to believe it.
Hesitantly Dylan took a step towards her. The last time he had seen her, he had made a drunken pass and she had ultimately rejected him, pushed him away telling him that it was wrong. After everything he had put her through, he didn't dare to believe that she might still have feelings for him. And yet the note she had left behind, the note that he clutched in his left hand, said that she loved him. They were just words written on a piece of paper, words designed to convince him to seek help. He had no way of knowing whether she had actually meant them, but it was enough. It had been enough to carry him through two months of rehab and it had been enough to bring him here today.
Awkwardly he cleared his throat "Brenda we need to talk."
"No." Brenda said fiercely, her eyes glittering dangerously. "You don't get to do that, not anymore. You don't get to show up out of the blue and start interfering in my life. You lost that right a long time ago."
Dylan took a deep breath, released it slowly. "I know" he said softly, eyes filled with pain and guilt.
"Well if you know that then why are you here?" Brenda asked sharply, fighting to keep a grip on her emotions.
Dylan took a step closer until they were only inches apart. "Two months ago you accused me of being a coward, of giving up, running away." He looked at her intently "I decided I wasn't gonna run away anymore."
"What are you saying Dylan?" Brenda asked, her voice tight with emotion.
He reached out, took her hand. "I'm saying that I love you Bren and that I want to be with you."
Brenda pulled her hand away, not ready yet to believe him. "And Kelly?" she asked suspiciously.
"It's over." He said resolutely. "We both agreed that it had to end."
Brenda regarded him critically "Why did it start?"
Dylan shifted uncomfortably "I don't know, I guess in a way you were right, I was running away. Things between us just got too difficult, too many battles to fight. With Kelly it was all so simple, straightforward." He shrugged. "We filled a need in each other. We were two people in the same emotional place at the same time. But it didn't work, couldn't work."
Why not?" Brenda asked, her voice almost a whisper, her eyes bright with unshed tears.
"Because I never stopped loving you" he admitted, eyes filled with remorse. "I thought I could make it work with Kelly, but I couldn't. You were always there and I just couldn't let go." He sighed heavily. "Me and Kelly never stood a chance, not really."
"What do want from me Dylan?" Brenda asked, her eyes searching his face trying to read him the way she used to.
"The truth" he said simply. He held out the piece of paper, tentatively she took it. "When you wrote this note you said that you loved me. I need to know if you meant it."
Brenda didn't read the note, she didn't need to, she already knew what it said. "Yes I meant it." She said without hesitation "I love you Dylan, I never stopped loving you."
Dylan released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. "Then stay." He said fiercely. "Don't go to London stay here with me. We can try again, we can make it work."
Brenda wiped frantically at the tears that were flowing freely now. "You're not being fair, you're asking me to choose between my acting career and you."
"I'm not asking you to choose me, I'm asking you to choose us." Dylan said desperately.
Brenda closed her eyes trying to block out the confusion. "I don't know" she stammered. "You're asking a lot Dylan. You're asking me to give up on my acting dream for what, for a relationship that's gone wrong so many times? You say you love me, you say that you've changed, but how can I believe you? How do I know that this time it will work out?"
Dylan took her hand again and this time she didn't pull away. "If you're asking for guarantees I can't give you any. You can never know for sure Bren. You just have to have faith in me, in us, believe that we're meant to be together, that we can make it work."
"That's the problem Dylan." Brenda admitted tearfully "I don't know if I do believe it anymore. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry" Dylan begged. "Be sure. Be sure about what it is that you want."
A conversation half forgotten suddenly came sharply in to focus. Christmas Eve in a deserted church, a young priest had spoken to her, given her hope. His words flashed in her mind.
'You're approaching a cross roads in your life's path. Choose one road, and your life will turn out one way, choose the other and it'll be completely different.' This was it; this was her crossroads, her defining moment, her test. Brenda felt a chill run through her. It had happened exactly as he had said it would, fate had brought her to this moment and now it was up to her to decide what happened next. She truly was standing at a crossroads in her life. One road led back to Beverly Hills and Dylan, the other to London and an exciting acting career. The problem was she no idea which road to choose.
Author's note
Thanks for the reviews and I'm sorry for the delay, but as you'll have noticed this was a pretty long chapter! For those of you wondering who/what Brenda is going to choose, don't worry there is an Epilogue coming soon (and I haven't forgotten about the envelope that Dylan is carrying round with him – All will be revealed!). We're nearly there now I promise!