Chapter Two: Raoul's Dilemma

The Admirers stared in disbelief.

"It's not my color, is it?" Raoul asked darkly, turning around so his fans could see the back of the bright pink cabaret dress he wore.

"Actually, it's not that bad," Alexis said, her eyes still as large as dinner plates. "It shows off your legs, anyway…"

"We must find this evildoer!" Meg roared, pumping her fist in the air. "We will find them, and smite them down—oh yeah, your legs do look great, Raoul…"

Raoul sighed. "I appreciate the compliment, mademoiselle, but I'm afraid that this outrage was committed by a Phan fiction author, who deemed it necessary not only for my wife to leave me, but to put me in an embarrassing dress as well."

"It could be worse," Kim replied.

"How so?"

Julie whispered in his ear.

"What?!" Raoul roared, and stormed behind the screen of his bedroom. "I'll kill that Double-F word!"

He exchanged the bright costume for something a bit more masculine, emerging clad in black pants and a white shirt, buttoned only halfway up. This left plenty of room for admiration of his beautifully sculpted collarbone and the beginnings of well-formed muscles.

"Water," gasped Estella, and fell over. A crash behind her indicated that Meg had also lost consciousness.

While Sharon tended to the fallen Estella and Lexie tried to revive Meg, Raoul flopped down onto the sofa. "It all started when some strange girl started calling me a fop. I told her she had me confused with my brother Philippe, but she was adamant. Then I tried to explain that as a nobleman I have to dress nicely, but she wouldn't hear it."

"Well, she was probably confused by all the portrayals in Phan literature," Kim pointed out. "Because in Leroux, you have a girlish complexion and that's really about as far as the fop thing extends. Hell, other than that, you're a pretty average guy."

"Thanks," Raoul said with a wry smile.

"Besides, in Susan Kay, Erik says he never wears the same suit twice," Manon remarked.

Suddenly Meg leaped up from the floor of Raoul's flat onto his coffee table, scaring Lexie and knocking several newspapers to the ground.  "This ridiculous misconception must end! We will put a stop to it!"

Kim hit the 'Play' button on the boom box, and Meg began to sing and improvise dance moves, a la the Supremes.

  " Fop! In the name of Leroux!
      That isn't what Raoul's about
      Fop! It's a silly view
     It's enough to make a Phan shout
     Think it over
    Think it over…"

"I do appreciate your efforts, ladies, but Phans must make up their own minds," Raoul said. "Though I wish they could do so without forcing me to wear ridiculous clothes, or have me sleep with one or both of the managers." He shuddered violently. "I knew getting that cable modem would be a bad idea…"

"The worst part is the insinuation that because we love you, we are less of a Phan than others who only like Erik," Estella said with a sigh. "We love you both, for cryin' out loud! Every character in the novel or musical is important, and we love every friggin' one of them. If that's not a Phan, then I don't know what is!"


"Well, you are members of an organization that bears my name," Raoul said with a smile.

"That's because you were in need of defending," Meg replied. "And the amount of abuse you get is ridiculous in comparison to what you actually do in the novel and musical. Besides, you're a great character!"

Raoul blushed, and the Admirers chuckled.

"So, where is this Phan fiction author?" Lexie asked, now that her heart had successfully restarted.

"I'll show you," Raoul replied, standing up.

"Okay!"

"Hm, we need an inspirational musical number," Meg said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "What can we…wait, I've got it!"

The Admirers gathered around the coffee table, while Raoul backed away, knowing better than to interfere with the random musical numbers.

"We Raoul fans will never tire

 We will survive!

 So you'd better take cover, as long as we're alive!

 We'll defend our Underrated Lover

 That's when we truly thrive!

 Get ready to meet us, because we're about to take…the dive!"

(A/N: Songs parodied are "Stop! In the Name of Love" by the Supremes, and "Falcon in the Dive" from The Scarlet Pimpernel" And to this day, I fail to understand the fop thing. No, really! It's like calling Erik a serial killer, don't you think? Alright, so he kind of was in the Dario Argento version, but that's beside the point. It's a gross exaggeration—in the Argento version, literally gross. When I get around to it, I'm switching his toilet paper, too. Erik doesn't deserve to be abused any more than Raoul. And yes, more is on the way.)