Yesterday's Memories

A Buffy: the Vampire Slayer/Stargate: SG-1 crossover.

Author: Sirius

Email: Sirius@wolf-walker.net

Spoilers: General spoilers for Stargate: The Movie and Stargate: SG-1 through Season 5. I tend to ignore Season 6 for fanfic purposes. General spoilers for Buffy through "The Gift," with major spoilers for the episode "Halloween."

Archive: Ask first.

Author's Note: This is what happens when I spend my entire workday in front of a copier, bored out of my mind.

Author's Note 2: This fic presumes that Major Louis Ferretti died in the Season 1 finale (Stargate: SG-1) – "Within the Serpent's Grasp." This may not actually be the case (I haven't seen the episode), but seeing as this was the last episode in which this character appeared, I'm going to presume that he's dead – at least for this particular story.

Author's Note 3: I prefer the movie spelling over the TV spelling for the name of Daniel's wife, so when I'm referring to Sha're (TV spelling), it will be spelled Sha'uri (movie spelling).

A/N 4: Spike got to Dawn before the portal was opened, thus no Buffy death. Since Willow did not bring Buffy back from the dead, there was no addiction to dark magic. This is a Post-Season Five Fic. As of this point, for the purposes of this fic, Seasons Six and Seven do not exist. Anya and Xander are not together, and Giles is still in Sunnydale.

I have received a great deal of feedback regarding Tara's reaction to certain events in this fic. This fic starts just a few months after "The Gift" (with the aforementioned plot changes). I do not believe that Tara could have bounced back from having her brain scrambled by Glory quite as easily as she appeared to in the series… certainly no one I know could have adjusted so readily. My writing reflects that. Please, keep in mind that people recovering from severe trauma do not always act "normally" or "rationally," but she does act in a way that I believe makes sense considering what she has been through, though I realize that some readers will not agree with me.



Summary: How much does Xander really remember about "military guy?"



Part I:


Xander couldn't see much – halls decked with gold, creatures with tattoos of gold… gold, there was a lot of that. If he hadn't been running for his life, he might have cared. And sand… there was a lot of sand. "Kawalsky, get your ass in gear!"

Being fired on by fighters unlike anything he'd ever seen. Death-gliders. They're called death-gliders. The people beside him were only boys, led by Ska'ara… his older sister was Dr. Jackson's lady friend – Sha'uri?

He knew their name now – Goa'uld. Snakeheads. False gods. Parasites. Every man's worst nightmare taken form.

They had Sha'uri Jackson. She was only a vehicle for Ammonet, now… queen to the "god" Apophis.

Apophis… bane of the SGC. His queen had taken Sha'uri. His son – kid? Do Goa'uld have gender? – had taken Ska'ara. O'Neill loved that kid. They'd done something stupid. He just knew they'd done something stupid. If he made it back alive, he was going to get his ass chewed by Hammond along with the rest of the team. Damn snakeheads.

Damn. This is not good… at least he'd miss the lecture.


Xander woke with a scream, though only a whimper escaped. Damn it, he thought, shaking. I thought I was done with these damn dreams. Dragging in a few deep breaths, he sat up in bed. Bit by bit, his breathing slowed, and he picked up the notebook he kept on his nightstand, writing down the words he remembered from the dream… adding them to the bottom of an already lengthy list.

O'Neill… That has to be Colonel Jack O'Neill… he's already in here. Dr. Daniel Jackson – already here, but the other names are new… Sha'uri and Ammonet. He put the pen down for a moment, and then added the names Ska'ara and Apophis. SGC was already on the list – it stood for "StarGate Command." "Hammond" was General George Hammond, CO.

"Death-gliders" was a new term. "Goa'uld" had been in his dreams before, but he hadn't added it the first time, so he jotted it down now. What the hell is going on with me?

Xander didn't realize he had set out the exercise mat until he had already started working through his basic kata, the one he'd known since that Halloween… the one where he became something other than the goofy Scooby.

Not that anyone knows it, he thought. They accept "Donut Guy." They accept "Key Guy," – who can get dynamite for blowing up giant snakes. And they accept the guy that can con his way onto a military base and walk out with a rocket launcher… but how would they deal with the fact that their guy has some serious moves? Half the time we're fighting… whatever it is we fight in any given week… I have to push military guy to the back of my mind. I can't be too good. I can't let them know how much of that person is still with me.

Finishing the kata, he rolled and stored the mat. After a shower and shave, he made his way to The Magic Box.



He stepped through the door only to walk into the middle of yet another argument between Buffy and Dawn, just one in a series of disagreements about boundaries, now that Buffy was having to be a parent – of sorts – instead of a sister. Xander could understand that neither of them had taken Joyce's death well – he hadn't, either. God knows she was more of a mother to him than his own had ever been.

The latest dream had shaken him, though… more than he wanted to admit. He wanted the shouting to stop and he wanted a Tylenol. Absent those, another workout would do – but that was out of the question, considering the possible audience.

Running through options in his head, and well aware of the screaming match that had just escalated – by several decibels – Xander did the only thing he could. He boxed away any sense of self-preservation and stepped between the two. Staring first at Buffy, then at Dawn, he used a tone of voice that would have made any Drill Instructor proud.

"Enough! Dawn, who is Buffy?"

The younger Summers, shocked into silence by Xander's extremely uncharacteristic outburst, hesitated a second. Xander spoke again.

"I just asked you a question, Summers. Who… Is… Buffy?"

"She's… my sister. She's the Slayer."

"Exactly." Xander's voice softened as he turned to face Dawn, completely aware that Giles was standing in the doorway, watching. "As your sister," Xander continued, "she loves you and she worries about you. As the Slayer, it is her sworn duty to protect you. Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Dawn? I know you miss Joyce. We all do. She was your mother and you want her back. I can understand that. But… you still have family left – family that cares, family that would die for your sake, family that doesn't get drunk and try to beat the shit out of you every time you step through the door. It's a priceless thing, Dawnie. Cherish it. Cherish her. The minutes that are lost in this pointless fighting are minutes you can never get back."

"Buffy." Xander turned sad, old eyes to the Slayer. "Who is Dawn?"

"She's… my little sister, my family… my blood."

"And the only family you think you've got left. You're scared," he said. "You're scared of making a wrong step, driving her away, failing to protect her, failing to do what you think Joyce would have wanted… terrified that you'll be left alone. I know that… I can do terrified… and I have. Buffy, you aren't alone. Dawn is your blood, but this little Scooby Gang here… we're all your family. You want Dawn to be safe… but that's not going to happen in this town. You know that. I know that. 'Safe' doesn't happen here. Your job is to teach her how to be safer. She's a smart girl, Buffy. She knows that it's not smart to be out alone after dark. She knows that there are times when it's better to run than fight and that there are times she'll need to stand her ground. She knows when to ask for help."

"Buffy," he continued, "you don't have to tell her all of this. You don't have to watch her every move. She misses her mother and wants her back, yes, but you are not Joyce. You are Buffy, and you need to be Buffy. You both have already lost your mother. Don't make Dawn lose her sister, too."

Lecture finished, Xander reverted to his usual, more fun-loving self… more or less. "Hey, G-man, would you happen to have any Tylenol around here?"

Part II