Author's Note: This part is a teensy bit shorter than the rest, but it felt like a good place to end... for now.


Part VI




Xander moved around the table to give Willow a hug, offering a silent apology for not being able to tell the tale himself. "So, team," he asked, still holding Willow. "Where do we go from here? Giles?" In the end, he knew that the Watcher would be the deciding vote, one way or another.

"I'm afraid I don't quite know, Xander. As I mentioned before – when you were in the kitchen – I've never come across anything precisely like this. I wouldn't even begin to know how to reverse this particular aspect…"

"Giles, that wasn't what I was asking. I wanted to know about group dynamics. Where – as a group – do we go from here? At this point, I've grown so used to having his knowledge in the back of my head, I'm not sure what I'd do without it, even if I can't actually mention or overtly use most of it."

"Oh… well. Quite frankly, Xander… I'm mystified. I have… no idea how to deal with this."

"Even though I'm the same person that I was when I walked in the door this morning?" Xander asked. "Even though the only thing that has changed is that you know more now than you did then? I know it's a lot to take in, Giles. How do you think I felt when it first happened? Back then, there were times when I could barely tell my memories from his; when I saw them it was like having flashbacks, but I'd never been where he was. And that was with only a few of his memories floating around in my brain. I got the lessons and started the practice – it was his habit, after all – but the memories usually came by way of dreams, and they stopped after a little while. They stopped, Giles… until we fought Glory. I've barely slept since. Does it make you feel better to know that I'm taking this just as badly as you?"

There was no anger in Xander's voice now. Exhaustion, yes… sadness, yes… but not anger. "You know what?" he said. "I'm going to go back to my place and shower – again. Then, I'm going to grab some groceries, bring them home and make some lunch. That'll give everyone a chance to think about all of this some more… figure out what's what. Anyone who wants to talk more about this should meet me there at 2:30. That gives everybody about two hours to do… whatever."

"Xander."

"Will, it makes the most sense. You'll be able to think more objectively if I'm not around."

"I don't need to think objectively, Xand, and I don't need to wait. I'll help with the groceries… for one small favor?"

"And that would be, bestest bud?"

"If I help with the grocery shopping, you give me that recipe for chicken cacciatore?"

"Done and done."

Willow glanced at Tara, but a small shake of the blond head told her that the other witch wanted to stay.



Really looking at Xander's apartment for the first time, Willow saw the hints of the changes in her friend. She made a mental tally of the items she'd never seen before. The exercise mat – rolled and stored in the corner – was first on the list. Next was a small set of weights. Is that a quarterstaff… or just an extremely well-balanced walking stick? To her surprise, she noticed that Xander had bookshelves now. Bookshelves? Since when has Xander had actual… well.. anything other than textbooks and comics?

Xander came out of the bathroom, dressed only in a pair of jeans… and drying his hair with a towel… while Willow continued to look at the books.

"Finding anything interesting, Will?" he asked, almost grinning when she squeaked, startled.

She calmed down a bit and said, "I was looking at your books. I didn't even know you had books… other than the ones for school, that is, but I thought you'd gotten rid of those after Graduation, and…"

"Wills, buddy, you're babbling again." Smiling – his first real smile since he woke up that morning – he slipped on a short and made his way over to her. "Do you have any questions for me now… or do you want to wait until everyone else is here?"

"Umm… it can wait, I think… if I can look at these while we do the lunch thing… and maybe just chat about life?"

"Sure. Just start wherever… and if you decide you want to take it with you to finish reading, just let me know. I'll write myself a sticky note as a reminder that you have it. That way I won't go nuts trying to find it if I want to check something out."

Nodding, she perused the books – trying to choose just one – while Xander went to copy the recipe… and make something resembling lunch. In the end, she chose the one that wasn't really a book so much as a bound copy of a thesis paper. Or something like that, anyway. Maybe it's a copy of a conference presentation that Xander printed out. But… why would he have printed a paper about the Egyptian pantheon? And why does it feel like I should know who Daniel Jackson is? She took another look at the shelves before she sat down with the paper. Why are there so many books on Egypt?



Part VII