Title: All that really matters
Author: Elfsheen
Genre: drama, mystery
Form: songfic.
Notes: although Anakin Solo is dead, this story is from both his, and
Tahiri's point of view. I do not claim to know anything about death; this
was made up, or at least for this fic.
Disclaimers: I do not own anything. Every SW aspect in this story belongs
to George Lucas. This story for fun only, I do not in any way profit from this
story.
I also do not own this song used to write this songfic. It belongs to Richie Sambora.
The song used in this songfic is by Richie Sambora – All that really matters. (It's worth a download)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All that really matters
ANAKIN:
Whatever I expected death to be, it was nothing like this. The Force took me
and I took it. I was part of the universe. I was not truly conscious of myself
anymore, yet I could see everything. I felt joy, pain, loss, love, despair,
and hate all mixed in one. I was simply one with life... with everything. There
was an immense truth there, a wealth of knowledge. Everything that had not made
sense to me before now did. It was so simple.
Yet there was something holding me back. Something kept me from passing to the place I should be. I don't know what or were it was, but I knew there was. In all that I was now, it did not make sense. It contradicted everything knowledge that made me whole.
I knew the answer instantly; it had been with me all this time. Tahiri. My best friend, my love, my soul mate. The one I was destined to spent my life with. But I'd altered my own fate. In the end, I knew now, we were all responsible for our own destiny. Nothing was sure until had played out.
Tahiri. The soft whisper of her name took me to her. I saw her. I felt her pain, her despair, her loss, her longing, her hate, and her grief. It was all mixed in one, coursing through her veins. She was huddled close in the corner of the cave. Her knees were drawn up to her chin. Shadows of tears were on her cheek, and many left unshed shone in her eyes.
For all I once was I wanted to hold her, to comfort her, and to tell her I loved her. Tell her that it was going to be alright. But I no longer possessed a body. An unknown but familiar force gripped me and took me with it. The scene before me dissolved.
Time passed, yet I was not aware of it. There was no time here. Not in the form that I was familiar with. For the first time I observed the portal of bright white light. I knew I was supposed to go there, but I couldn't reach it.
That instant there was one thing I knew. That I had always known. I wasn't moving on without her. Everything we did, we did together.
When I look at you
I realize
There comes a time
In someone's life
When you find the things
That matter
TAHIRI:
A year after Anakin's death, I found myself taking yet another stroll on
one of the many beaches the planet of Mon Calamari possessed. How had I gotten
here? Why was I here? Even after a year I could still feel the loss. I could
still feel him. Not literally, but his image continued to haunt my mind. His
ice-blue eyes staring at me, his lope-sided grin, his unruly hair, it was all
there in my mind. In the period shortly after his death I found myself constantly
reaching for him, only finding an empty dark spot. Yet when I reached deep inside
I could still feel him.
Force! How had it come this far? I had only been sixteen, and Anakin was barley seventeen; yet we'd know we were meant to be together. That we were soul mates. But he left me. He left me broken, chained, and alone. Without him and without our love.
I sat down on one of the big rocks that marked this beach and stared out over the ocean. I was tempted to reach out to the place in my heart that was Anakin's, but I didn't. I stopped myself. It would only cause me more pain. Why did I still feel like this? Wasn't this feeling supposed to go away after all of this time? Wasn't the hurting supposed to lessen?
So many people had lost their loved ones in this war, and they'd moved on. Why couldn't I? Why did it still hurt so much?
"Oh Anakin! Why does it hurt so much? Why, why why?" I asked softly. Soon my eyes watered and a tear began its course down my cheek. "I want to be with you. I want to be with you so badly it hurts, more than the pain of losing you ever did." But I knew he wouldn't want me to take my own life, or to stop fighting.
Without thinking I reached out to Anakin's place in my soul.
You'll always be my
Sweet addiction
In this life my saving grace
You're all that really matters
You know it's true
Ain't no me without you
ANAKIN:
After all this time, she was still hurting. The pain was still fresh, it hadn't
diminished. I knew it. It was my pain too. I could feel her aguish as if it
was my own, her tears were my tears. I was there with her, always, every hour
of every day.
I had seen how my family had tried to help. She had accepted it, like I knew she would. Yet it wasn't enough, for either of us.
She was still fighting. Force, she was helping everyone but herself. After all that had happened, she was still fighting. It made me proud to know she hadn't given up.
Not that easily, I thought grimly. But her grief was eating her up from the inside out.
We were both waiting.
For each other.
And every time we touch
The love runs deep
We realize it's our to keep
And that's all that really matters
TAHIRI:
I watched the destruction from the bridge of the Rebel Dream. This was it. This
was the final battle. The battle that would mark the end of this long war, for
good or bad. This would decide the course of the future. Who would rule the
galaxy: the Galactic Alliance or the Yuuzhan Vong? All the resources were dry
for both sides. But I knew it would be alright.
Not even an hour later I knew I was right. When I saw the last of the Yuuzhan Worldships explode I was sure. Pieces of it were flung into space like garbage carelessly tossed away. It was finally over. We'd won. The future was ours again. Now the healing would begin. Now I would heal myself. I would take destiny and make it mine.
All around me, people were cheering, hugging, and holding each other. I smiled. The war with the Yuuzhan Vong was finally over. I passed several others in the crows I knew. I hugged Anakin's family goodbye. They didn't know what I was going to do. If they did they weren't showing it. Jacen was the hardest of all. He'd become a good friend over this past year.
"I love you, you know that" I said when he pulled me close to him.
"I've always loved you, and I always will," he replied softly and kissed my cheek. For the first time, I saw that he was crying.
He knew. I was sure of it. He saw it in my eyes, but he didn't say anything. He just pulled me in his embrace one last time. "Explain it to them, will you? They won't understand," I said against his chest. I felt his answer echoing in my mind. We touched each other one last time through the Force, and then I walked away.
You'll always be my
Sweet addiction
In this life my saving grace
You're all that really matters
You know it's true
Ain't no me without you
I had fulfilled my destiny. My time here was over. I knew it as sure as if I
had it in writing. I'd helped rid the galaxy of the Yuuzhan Vong, the species
that hadn't belonged here. Now my road had come to an end, I had chosen
so. There were no more roads to walk, and no more destinies left to be fulfilled.
I was lying on my bed, staring upwards at the ceiling, but I didn't see the bright white ceiling. Instead I saw moments of my life pass by. I smiled when I realized most of those moments included Anakin. It was time.
I reached deep inside my soul. The place, the world, the space, that had become Anakin's A place that had become my refuge. The place where he remained. The world around me faded as I let go of all that had kept me chained and caged for so long.
Anakin?'
Tahiri? I'm here. I've always been here.'
I know. Is it time?'
Yes, it's time. It's finally time,'
I love you,'
I love you too'
In the midst of joy and peace two souls touched, and finally became one again.
You'll always be my
Sweet addiction
In this life my saving grace
You're all that really matters
You know it's true
Ain't no me without you
And when we turn to dust
And we fly away
There'll be a light
Still burning bright
And that's all that really matters
And that's all that really matters