AN: As you can probably tell the updates are coming pretty slow now… -_- I'm doing a lot of writing (editing older stories and writing new chapters and such to unreleased ones) but I haven't wrote anymore chapters to this story which means… o.o I caught up to myself and I will be releasing every chapter the moment my pre-reader gets finished with it.

Strain

"The assassin's blade carries sorrow that cuts though all happiness."

Chapter Five:

Tears and Gunpowder

"Shinji are you awake?"

The boy slowly nodded as Asuka leaned over his bead, "I wanted to tell you exactly what that 'phase' you go in is." She said as continued to check to see if Shinji was feeling better.

As Shinji turned his head to look her in the face, a flood of memories came into his mind.

She kissed him…

She clapped after he finished one of the only cello songs he had completely memorized…

She had arguments with him…

She… She hated him.

"Shinji, are you sure you are ok?" she asked once again looking him directly in the eye. It wasn't until this very moment that he noticed that one of her eyes was gray… while the other was a brilliant sky blue.

"A-Asuka… is that my fault?" He asked pointing towards her eye.

It both scared and shocked him a bit when the doctor broke off into a string of laughter, "You know, I really did blame all that stuff on you for quite a while, but let me ask you a question Shinji. How long do you think 'hate' can exist without anything to fuel it?"

He blinked, "I… I honestly don't think I ever hated anyone before."

"When I woke up in some hospital bed somewhere with people surrounding me asking me stuff I didn't know about and trying to ask me about my condition, I was only thinking about the scream I heard before I passed out."

Asuka pulled a chair up closer to the bed and sat on it, "I started to wonder did that scream come from… mother, or did it come from Unit 01," She flashed Shinji another one of her beautiful smiles, "That doesn't matter though, when I woke up people gave me the all the credit for defeating those… things, but I didn't even destroy one."

She slide her hand down her face, "Not even one…"

"I'm sorry… for bringing it up."

The doctor blinked a few times before the sarcastic smirk once again appeared on her face, "It's a good thing you still have a habit of saying sorry, it makes doctors feel less guilty when something goes wrong." She said as she started to get up from the chair.

"Asuka…"

She stopped at the doorway without turning around to face him, "Is something wrong Shinji?" She asked completely serious as she prepared to go back to work.

The boy kept his head in the same position on the pillow instead of looking in her direction, "I'm sorry… if-"

Asuka carefully walked over to his bedside once more to make sure that her point was made, "Shinji, if we lived our lives in the past, the present will pass us by and the future ahead of us wouldn't exist…"

Shinji looked at the hospital ceiling, "B-but without our past what future can we carve out? How… how can we step forward when we have nothing behind us?"

"You know Shinji, Misato told me something a long time ago but I think I was a bit… ok, a lot more headstrong than I am now and I didn't take the time to think it out," Asuka stated as started to leave the room again, "I think it was something along the lines of, 'Take life one step at a time or else you might trip'."

~*~*~*~

SEELE was an organization feared by many, but the few who tried to speak out about their actions were silenced before they could talk.

If need be they would silence anyone, anything, and go anywhere to do it.

But the one thing who stood against them, was a single girl.

And that girl was typing at a computer awaiting the return of Asuka.

Rei looked at the screen as information appeared rapidly only to be replaced by a new wave of information every few seconds. The sound of the typing and the quiet hum of the computer was the only thing that could be heard as she reviewed the information before her.

The information she was looking at dealt with the death of political figures in the past few years.

"What are you doing this time?"

Before Asuka knew it a gun was being pointed in her direction, "Please don't alarm me Soryu." The albino said as she continued to face the screen.

The doctor simply stood at the doorway. She knew asking that question wouldn't result in her getting any answers, "I didn't tell him Rei…" she said as she calmly waited for the girl's reply.

"Why?" she questioned as she continued her search for information.

"I don't think he really wants to know about it Rei, I means it isn't like people were lining up to get those injections."

She kept typing as her eyes darted across the monitor, "Tell him. The more he remembers, the more information I can receive."

For a brief moment, that one statement caused the talking between the women to cease, and it was also during this time that Asuka actually noticed how cold it was in the library.

"I knew it," Asuka leaned on the closed door, "You are just using him." She said in an icy voice.

The typing stopped as the doctor's statement echoed in the large room once used as a library.

"Soryu, I said this once before and I will repeat it when necessary," Rei suddenly stood up causing the chair to slide backwards a bit, "Destroying SEELE is my main objective."

"I don't care about your damn goals in life! I care about Shinji!" The red haired doctor carefully watched the albino in front of her, "The more I hear about destroying SEELE, the more I'm getting sick of that bullshit! What will you do if Shinji just so happens to get killed just because you are dragging him along with you?!"

"What do you want me to do Soryu?" Came the slightly irritated tone from Rei, "I can't run away, and I can't outright attack the enemy. I can only depend on tactics and information, and Shinji is a valuable source of information."

"Rei, you don't get it do-"

"Soryu, we are important to each other, and we both understand that we must sacrifice in order to survive." Rei turned to the doctor and began to make her way out of the room, "I cannot stress enough how much I care for Shinji, but I also have to ask you some questions."

"Do you know how it feels to run out of bullets when the one you love is standing directly behind you?"

Asuka diverted her eyes when Rei stared at her, "No… I don't."

"Neither do I and that is one feelings I do not want. Soryu, he is important to me, and he is also vital to the destruction of SEELE."

The female doctor looked in the direction her albino friend, "I'm sorry Rei, it's just that it seems like you don't care that-"

The sound of the large door opening behind the two and caused Asuka to stop speaking as one of her nurses ran into the room. "Dr. Soryu," the older man said quickly but the bead of sweat on his brow was an obvious sign that something wrong, "The man you told us to place in the room beside your office is gone… I came to ask you what should we do?"

"I see, go inform security and make sure that he doesn't leave the hospital. If you manage to locate him, return him to his room." Asuka placed her hands on her hips and waited for the male nurse to follow her orders.

Upon realizing that she was finished and that she looked like she was beginning to get upset, the man ran out of the room to inform the others.

"You didn't react like I thought you would." Rei stated as she slipped her handgun into her jacket pocket.

"I was expecting this. I even gave him sedatives before I left the room, but I didn't expect him to be able to shake them off within the hour." Asuka blinked as something came to mind, "He is still confused so he might be looking for you Rei."

"I'm going to look for him."

Asuka nodded as she exited the large room closing the heavy doors behind them, "If you do find him, please be gentle with him. Remember his mind is still sending him a flood of memories… any normal person would have probably been bedridden with pain or worse."

She turned Rei to see if she was paying attention, only to discover that she was gone. True to her character, Asuka simply laughed, "I should have expected she would do that."

~*~*~*~

A young man dressed in a medical gown tried his best to walk down the hall while keeping his hands on the walls to maintain his balance, but the aura around him kept others from approaching him.

Somehow as he managed to drag himself down the corridor towards the elevator, he could even realize his sense of self even in this state.

He thought… No! He knew this feeling was familiar.

"Mr. Ikari," someone yelled out causing him to stop in his place, "We are here to take you back-"

=+=+=+=

"Grab tha kid! We have ta bring him back at all cost! Break his legs or somethan' if you have ta, as long as we get him back alive I don't care!"

=+=+=+=

"I-I don't want to go back…" He whispered catching the man in front of him off guard.

"Mr. Ikari, I am sorry but it is either you come or we are going to make you-" a solid punch in the mouth knocked the man to the ground and did more than silenced him.

The rest of the security team almost instantly reached for their handguns, and were shocked to find that two guns, one from the man on the floor, pointed in their direction by the blue haired female in front of them.

Losing his balance, Shinji fell onto the floor and crawled towards the girl beside him, "Rei… h-help me." He begged before falling to the ground.

She eyed the boy while keeping her guns aimed at the people in front of her. Quickly deciding her place of action, Rei pointed one of her firearms in the head of the unconscious man at her feet.

"Leave." Her simple request was granted as the security retreated to find means to secure her without anyone being hurt.

She looked down to find Shinji clinging to her leg, "Please d-don't leave again Rei." He whispered as she bent over to get a closer look at him.

Rei cautiously lifted him up, "Shinji… we have to leave now."

"Rei… what are you?" he said as he panted and leaned on Rei for support.

Her ruby red eyes went wide as the question registered in her mind. She could still remember his reaction when he first discovered the secret of her origin, and that was something she didn't want to happen again.

She pressed a button and the elevator doors opened a few minutes later. She stepped in between the doors half dragging Shinji into the elevator also. After the pressing of a single button, the elevator was off going towards its destination as Shinji held onto the girl for the simple fact that he felt like he was about to lose her again.

"Shinji, I have something to tell you," she started as the doors opened and the couple found themselves on the first floor.

When the woman raised her head, she found out that it was likely she wouldn't finish her statement because of the shotguns, rifles, and handguns pointed in their direction by the security.

"Miss please stand down!" one of them shouted as he stepped forward with the shotgun ready to fire, "Put the guns on the floor!" he yelled attracting more people to the already growing crowd.

"You know this is a hospital, and making so much noise can upset people." Someone behind the fully armed security said drawing the attention from the men.

The doctor before them swept her red beautiful strands of hair from out of her line of vision making it easier to see her sky blue eye, "Leave them alone, you guys take things too seriously" she said as she walk towards Shinji.

"B-But Dr. Soryu, she knocked out a man twice her size!" one of them retorted.

The red haired doctor got a dangerous gleam in her eye, "I can do the same thing. I'll take care of her, you just break up the crowd everyone can get back to work."

The moment she turned around to help the young man, everyone resumed what he or she were doing and the hospital once again turned into busy place it was as people searched for their doctors and nurses returned to the task they were supposed to be doing.

As the security team began to redraw, Asuka stepped into the elevator and pressed a button, "Rei, I told you to take it easy on him. I mean look at him… he is barely awake."  

The girl beside her didn't say anything as the doors opened and they both walked out with her dragging Shinji. Asuka started to speak again, "Just lay him down in my office. I'll be back later I have some work to do and then I will be back to check on him."

Asuka opened the door to her office before she walked away, "I know it's my fault he is like this," she started to exit the small office, "Probably because nothing didn't trigger him… anyway make sure he gets something to eat and give him some water." After finishing her statement, she promptly left the room to do her task.

Rei helped Shinji onto the hospital bed in Asuka's office and prepared to follow the doctor out of the room so she could get something to eat for him, but before she could even step away from the side of the bed a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, "Don't leave…" the boy barely said as his energy as quickly leaving him.

Rei granted his wish as she got a seat from Asuka's desk and placed it beside the bed, "What do you need Shinji?"

"I wanted to tell you about my past."

The girl blinked, "Rest first, we can talk about that later." She calmly said as she maintained her cool aura.

"No," Shinji sat up in the bed and turned to face Rei, "I want to tell you while I can… while we have time like this together."

Rei leaned back in the chair and waited for him to begin speaking, "If you want me to listen, I will." She said aloud as Shinji laid back on the bed.

"It… it wasn't long after the mass production units were destroyed. Misato was… dead and father was missing so I had nowhere to go. So I just walked without knowing where I was going… before I knew it, days passed by and I was just sitting somewhere confused and hungry."

Rei looked at the boy when he paused, but she was relieved when he went on, "Before I knew it, some men grabbed me and put a rag over my mouth and nose and after that all I remember is waking up at that place…"

To be continued…

Fin

__________________

Man, I'm sorry people. I said that he would start talking about his past during this chapter but I thought it would be better if I added more Asuka and Rei interaction into the story, and this also left some questions like 'What injections is Asuka talking about?', 'What information was Rei looking up?', and 'Why is Asuka's security team so heavily armed?'.

Just to clear something up, Shinji is like that because he is confused at the moment. If anyone who is reading have ever lost their memories only to have them flood into their mind will understand what it is like. Luckily, that never happened to me though. O.o

I was also pondering if I should call this book one, and have Shinji's past and the chapters after that be book 2. o.o  Anyway, expect the next chapter in a few weeks -_-; and please try not to lose interest. _;

Seriously, Shinji's past will be coming in the next chapter.

Next chapter: Haiku