All disclaimers are in place. Refer to the Prologue section for details.

A/N: If the end of Part 18 creeped you out, I've done my job fairly well. J

PART NINETEEN: LOSS "Join… die… join… die…"

Not even the Dark Lord himself had ever frightened Severus Snape this much.

The crimson eyes stared through his soul, awaiting his answer.

Who in Hades has possessed her? I won't believe for a second that this thing is truly my Halo… but how did anything else get in? Careful, Severus, she's looking rather impatient. Perhaps now would be a good time to answer, before she follows through on the latter choice.

"Neither," he declared.

Halo's eyes surged violently red. Before she could react, Snape's hand shot forward and a wave of iridescence hurled forth from his palm. The swell caught her square in the chest and pinned her down to the bed. She was frozen in a state of complete stillness. Her crimson eyes were still moving, however, following his every move.

He sauntered over to the bedside in true Death Eater fashion. "I hope you didn't think you were the only one here who can do some kind of wandless magic," he  presumed, sitting down on the edge of her bed and staring down into her raging eyes. He considered her for a moment. "I don't know who you are, but I want my daughter back. Now."

On command, the fire left Halo's eyes, which returned in a flash to their cold metallic sheen.

"That's better."

With a subtle wave of his hand, the body bind was released. Halo's eyes fluttered nearly closed from exhaustion. "I'm so sorry, Father… I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry…" she whispered.

"That wasn't you, Halo. You weren't yourself."

He really had no idea. Halo's mind raced with the images of her rage, of people dying at her hands, figures she'd only seen in dreams seeming more real to her now than ever before. She could remember everything from her altered state, but most of all she could recall the lack-of and, at the same time, overwhelmingly-mastered sense of control that she felt. She couldn't explain it, not even to herself. But she would have to explain it to him. Someone had to understand.

"It was me. I remember it… I remember it all."

Snape sighed deeply. "Remembering doesn't imply that you had any bearing on your actions. Something possessed you momentarily…

"Would you listen…" she forcefully interrupted, sitting up and breaking into a sudden coughing fit from the effort.

Snape felt his stomach squirm in agony at her abrupt loss of body control. He supported her as she bent nearly double, hacking over her lap until drops of blood fell from her mouth and blotted into the cream fabric of her nightdress and mixed with the tears of pain that fell from her eyes as the pulmonary contractions ceased. Snape gently but firmly cupped her chin in his hand and raised her head so he could see her face while fetching a handkerchief from his pocket. She was a mess. Her skin was flushed and splotchy, streams of blood trickled from the corners of her mouth, her nose dripped mucus and her red-rimmed eyes were full of tears. He held the cotton cloth over her face and told her to "blow." She did so, and then he folded the cloth over and wiped the blood from her chin. He had just finished cleaning most of the fluids from her face when she pushed his hands away.

"Halo…"

"Please don't touch me," she whispered.

"I'm not going to hurt you." His breathing quickened slightly as he had the distinct feeling she would contradict his declaration. He was shocked when she didn't.

"I know that. But I will hurt you." She looked him square in the eyes, willing him not to speak. Her voice was hoarse from the trauma to her throat. "It was me… in every way. It was like…" she searched for a way to describe it, "… as though I had complete control, but cared not whether what I was doing would harm you. If you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed you just now."

Snape's eyes were wide with shock. "I won't believe it. I won't!"

"You have to. And you have to stay away from me."

"Halo, I…"

"Just let me die, please. Just let me…"

"No!" Snape took her by the arms and shook her hard.

"You're going to anyway!" she screamed, well… she would have screamed had her voice not sounded as though she'd swallowed broken glass. "Just let it happen now, before anyone gets hurt!"

"Pull yourself together, Halo!" He was still shaking her, his hands gripping tightly on her arms. His tone got her attention for a moment, but it was all the time he needed. "Now listen to me, and listen well," he said, his eyes holding her gaze. "I won't allow you to go before it's time. In fact, I'm not planning to let you go at all."

Where the hell did that come from? he berated himself, pausing for a moment to let his outburst sink in. Did I really mean it? Did I… is this… what's happening to me? Have I gone soft? I must protect her, that much I know. But can I really save her?

Halo was just as shocked by the revelation as he was, she just didn't take in the fact that perhaps he hadn't meant it. She was only almost fourteen, after all. Her already-twisted gut was wrenching in her belly.

"Please… please don't say that," she begged. "Please don't… I'm not worth it…"

"Yes you are… yes you are," he took her face in his hands. "You only need to learn to control it, that's all. And you can do it, do you hear me? You can…" he pulled her into his chest, her slight body shaking in his arms. Despite his reassurances, Severus Snape had never been more confused in his life. Not only about his feelings, but because he was losing all control of his time-perfected callous disposition, and while he cursed himself for it, he couldn't really give a damn about it at the moment.

It was a long while before Halo's trembling subsided enough for Snape to let her go. Having gone quite limp but still conscious, he settled her against the pillows and smoothed her dark hair away from her cheeks. He was mildly surprised when she didn't fight him, and a bit concerned that she'd seemed to have given up. Her eyes were open but unfocused, and all spirit seemed to have drained from them. She was exhausted, to say the least.

"I'm going to leave you for a while," he informed her. "Will you be all right?"

Halo didn't move for several seconds. Her tranquility was alarming, but the slight rise and fall of her chest betrayed any indication of sudden death. She gave the tiniest of nods.

Snape nodded once himself to indicate that he'd seen and understood. "I will return shortly," he said, and left her alone and silent in her room, noticing just before he closed the door that Tapestry had ventured out of the bathroom to curl up on the rug next to the bed.

He hurried to his lab deep in the dungeons. Not the student lab, but a private one, a place no one but himself and Albus Dumbledore knew existed. Once inside the damp stone chamber and surrounded by his familiar craft tools, he set himself to work lighting a fire under his best copper cauldron, pulling potion ingredients off shelves and measuring precise amounts into vials and flasks for proper mixing. And despite his immense concentration and the impossibility that he'd make a mistake with a potion he'd only created a handful of times, he brewed his thoughts over what he'd been calling "The Halo Situation."

The dark and light shoulder-perching figures visited – scratch that – pestered him and his feelings for an hour while the potion mixed, bubbled and finally cooled. They took their leave, much to Snape's relief when Dumbledore's head popped into view inside the chamber's abandoned fireplace.

"Yes, Headmaster, what is it? I'm very busy."

"It isn't terribly important, I believe you'll reason… but Mr. Wood wonders if he might see Halo. He feels it would be best to ask permission, since he informs me that he was asked to leave some time ago."

"Tell him it isn't a good idea."

"I shall… wait a moment…" Dumbledore's head disappeared from the green flames. A moment later it reappeared, long beard and all. "The boy is most anxious to speak with you himself."

"Then tell him to join me tomorrow evening for detention, as it is fitting for a student who sees fit to reject my negative response!" Snape barked.

Dumbledore looked positively bewildered. "Is everything all right, Severus?"

"Headmaster… I apologize for the outburst. I must finish my work and I will speak with you this evening." Snape mentally berated himself for his disrespect.

"Very well, I will expect an explanation then." Dumbledore's head disappeared with the emerald flames.

Snape blew out a long breath, closing his eyes as he fought to reorganize his composure and regain his track of thought as he spooned the thick, sugary, tangerine-colored result of his labor through an aluminum funnel and into a round, narrow-necked bottle. He placed a cork stopper in the top and carried the glass container gingerly from his hidden chamber, up the winding stone steps and back the way he came.

"Professor! Professor Snape!"

Oh what now? he thought as he turned on the high-pitched, squeaky-voiced student who had just so unfortunately stepped into his path. "Well? What in Merlin's name is it!" he hissed.

The young Slytherin, a second-year pixie of a girl stepped back in fear of his wrath. "N-Nothing, sir… I'm sorry for bothering you…" she spun and fled back to the nearby Slytherin common room.

Thank the Gods for their terror. He admitted the relief to himself, still quite proud of the fact that the students' fear of him also brought about their ability to conduct themselves properly in the behavior department while in his presence, but he couldn't help feeling the slightest bit remorseful. Funny, I've never regretted my disposition before. That girl I call my daughter is getting to me, he told himself.

He hadn't loosened his grip on the bottle in his hands, even as he came before Halo's chamber door and opened it quietly, closing it behind him once he'd entered. Tap was still on the floor by her bed, but was sitting upright and bellowed a solid "Mrrrp!" when Snape came to the edge of the bed.

She'd pulled the covers over her head, he saw as he tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed and placed a hand gently on what he assumed was either her belly or her back, whispering her name. He shot up from the bed when his hand sank through her body. Ripping the covers back, he was inactively greeted by Halo's white linen pillows, craftily shaped to look like her body from beneath the blankets.

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Dumbledore and the rest of the Hogwarts Staff had been notified at once and began a search of the castle. Snape went straight to the Dementors, much to his reluctance, and demanded to know if they'd apprehended her, or at least seen her. He hadn't needed Veritaserum to get the truth from them, and it was in the negative.

So she hadn't gone outside. At least, not in any way he could think of. Unless…

The blood drained from his face; he raced back to his room. And there, misplaced from his opened lockbox and lying quite plainly on the cold stone floor, was his one-use escape Portkey.

Halo was gone.

And Severus Snape, crumpled form having sunk to the floor in despair, had no idea how to find her.

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