All disclaimers are in place. Refer to the Prologue section for details.
A/N: I added part of PoA to the story for added effect, no stealing intended. See? If I cite that it's there and the sole property of Miss JK, I can't get in trouble for it! At least I hope not… (Whimpers, "please don't hurt me!")
A/N: How interesting that Luna the owl bears the same name as a character in OotP… and I swear it's a coincidence; I had a parakeet named Luna once and decided to name the owl after her.
PART TWENTY: SEARCHLying propped against a wooden bookshelf, wearing a blank, weathered expression was where Albus Dumbledore and Minerva McGonagall found their Potions Master an hour later.
"She's gone." The deep, baritone voice was there, but every hint of its ever-present malevolence had washed away; the black eyes remained fixed somewhere on the opposite wall.
"How can this be possible?" Minerva wondered out loud, her ordinarily calm demeanor spiked with a touch of panic. "The Floo network would prevent her from leaving after her last exploit…"
"How do you know about that?" Snape demanded, shaking himself out of his passive state.
"I informed Professor McGonagall a short time ago, Severus. I believed it was necessary in order for the Staff to understand just how serious the situation is," the Headmaster explained, circling the room and coming to a halt before an object on the floor. "Ah, I see she's used your means of escape," he deduced, retrieving the Remembrall from the floor. The smoke inside the sphere had dissipated, indicating that its power had been exhausted.
The ancient wizard was silent for a moment as he stared at the glass ball being held in his frail, thin fingers. "We will find her, Severus," he said determinedly after a moment. "I promise you, we will find her."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Almost a month had passed since Dumbledore had sworn to those words, and without the slightest indication as to her whereabouts. The scowl on Snape's face had driven deeper lines into his sallow skin, as after the first week of searching, Albus had ordered him to let a small faction of Aurors take over the investigation. They had been most anxious to begin, as they were indebted to the Headmaster and would be as discreet as possible. As a favor to Severus, Albus had only informed them that the girl was simply missing, and that they were only to inform him if or when they found her, and not under any circumstances to approach her.
The students, those who'd noticed anyway, had been told that Halo was sent to another school. This included Oliver Wood, who had been beside himself with despair when he'd been told the same story, and also that he wasn't to make contact with her. His recent respect for Halo's father went completely down the proverbial drain and he stopped attending the seventh-year Potions classes and threw himself full-force into Quidditch training as the only release for the frustration, panic and hopelessness he felt. He was inwardly glad that the final game had been played before Halo's supposed "transfer" and they had won, which gave him the edge he needed in order to be hopefully signed to a team, then scolded himself for thinking about such a trivial thing when he had no contact with the person he most cared about. He blamed the whole situation, but mostly Severus Snape, for his clouded reasoning.
Severus found himself often in her room, which had been left in exactly the state it had been in the day she'd disappeared. He spent long hours in the dead of night going through her things, hoping to find some clue that would tell him where he could find her. He would end each search at her bed, sitting on the edge, then finally succumbing to his own despair and leaning over to bury his face in her pillow. It still smelled like her.
Is she all right? he wondered. Could she be hurt? Sick? Hungry? Does she have anyone to help her? Will she want anyone to help her? Is she alone? He wished he knew.
The House Elves were forbidden to enter her room, for fear that they might move something crucial to her being found. Tap still hadn't returned to the room after taking it upon herself to scour every inch of the castle in search of her master. The cat didn't appear to be very bright, but he didn't think on it for long. He found himself wondering, as he inhaled the fading residue of her scent, breathing more slowly in hopes of making it last longer… Could this be a blessing in disguise? Is this just the reason I need to get over it… get over her… then he harshly berated himself for thinking such a thing. More than once he'd fallen asleep on her bed, only to be awoken in time to rush off to teach the little mongrels who infested the school.
"No word yet, Severus." This was the usual daily report he'd collected each evening before supper in the Great Hall, along with a report on the Sirius Black situation. And the Hippogriff… one of Hagrid's beasts had been unfortunate enough to be blamed for an "unprovoked" attack on the younger Malfoy earlier that year, and despite Draco's change of heart he'd played the part of the infernal little rich boy to perfection. Snape would have been Slytherinly proud of the boy had he not had other pressing issues to consider, such as arrangements for the animal's appeal and destruction, set for that evening.
This time, Severus slumped into one of the overstuffed chairs gracing Dumbledore's office. His eyes were dark, and while at first glance seemed blank and empty, they hid much darker, sadder feelings. "We're never going to find her, are we…"
Dumbledore sighed. "Everything that can be done is being done," he told his much younger apprentice. "It may be time to take more drastic measures… I believe Professor Lupin could be of help…"
"No!" Snape shouted, showing the first sign of rage in over a week. "That wolf cannot be trusted!" he exclaimed, spitting the word like a piece of rotten meat.
"Calm yourself, my boy. Now, what about Luna?"
"No sign of her since Halo left. That blasted bird would follow her to the ends of the earth simply because it's what a sentinel owl does."
"Which means she is somewhat protected; that owl would give its life for her."
"If it hasn't already." With that thought, Severus lowered his face into his hands. No sound was made, nor did he move a millimeter for several minutes, even when the older man perched on the arm of the chair and stroked his back soothingly with a weathered hand.
"I know it isn't something you want to hear, but we must consider the possibility that she has already gone." The wizened old wizard's eyes came close to tears, but he held back for the other's sake. He didn't feel Severus respond to the foreshadowing words he'd been needing to say since the beginning, but he knew the younger man had heard and understood.
"It will be dark soon. I'm going to sort through Halo's things again. It may be my only chance, assuming she's still out there to find…" he paused. "And I also must dose Remus with his potion this evening. I imagine you'll know where to look if you need to find me." Snape rose and was out the door with a much less determined walk than usual.
And Albus Dumbledore watched him go, wishing beyond all his deepest desires that he could do anything to help the man. Yes, even beyond his desire for pairs upon pairs of wool socks.
The Wolfsbane potion was monotonously brewed, portioned into one-dose containers and sealed. Snape selected one and pocketed it, moving through the castle toward the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher's office and pondering what Albus had said earlier. Was it really possible that Halo had already died? He supposed it was possible, even likely, but he dreaded the thought. It wasn't until he reached Lupin's classroom door that he realized how unclearly he was thinking, and couldn't recall the last time he'd had more than an hour of sleep.
The door to the office had been left cracked open. Curious, that a Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor would leave the portal to his domain unguarded, Snape mused. He entered, looking around for the apparently absent professor. Wherever he had gone, he'd left in a hurry to leave his door open. Anyone could come in and take things. Perhaps I should, just to prove a point…
Then his eye caught sight of a parchment… parts of it were moving, upon closer inspection… it was a map! Of the school, no less… and then what he saw made his blood run cold as he gripped the back of the desk chair for stability. A tiny dot labeled Remus Lupin was moving toward the Whomping Willow… and inside the Willow was another dot.
This one was labeled Sirius Black.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"HE DIDN'T DISAPPARATE!" Snape roared. "THIS – HAS – SOMETHING – TO – DO – WITH – POTTER!"
He burst into the Hospital Wing, Cornelius Fudge and Dumbledore flanking him. Dumbledore alone looked calm.
"Professor Snape!" shrieked Madam Pomfrey. "Control yourself!"
"THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!" Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione.
He remembered his behavior all too well. If it hadn't been for the immense amount of stress coupled from the near capture and abrupt escape of his childhood enemy with the desperation of trying to find the one person who he was beginning to feel something of a connection with, he doubted he would have reacted quite so hysterically.
He pounded down the stone steps and slammed the dungeon door behind him. He had intended to go to Halo's room, but decided that it didn't deserve his violent and very likely destructive mood. Flasks, jars and tools were hurled about, repaired, and thrown again until the tantrum waned and ended. He was quite exhausted when he left his dungeon again, but he owed it to Halo to give her room another once-over before he would allow himself the luxury of a few moments rest.
Snape sat down on the polished wooden trunk at the foot of her bed after letting himself into her chamber, recounting to himself that the Remembrall she'd used had the power to take her anywhere she desired. He knew that she knew this, for he had given her the information himself four years ago when she'd returned to him to go to school, in the event of an unforeseen event that would merit its use. "Now," he said to himself, closing his eyes in an attempt to think more clearly, "if I were Halo Mandelor, where would I possibly go?"
If walls had ears, they would have been long past bored by this many-times-repeated question. No, many times was an understatement; Severus Snape had said the same thing every time he'd entered the room for the last month. If the walls had found the capacity to become sick of hearing it, they would have packed and left by then.
His eyes opened again, first the left, and then the right. Part of him had hoped that his repetition had finally had an effect; that the answers he sought would magically appear in front of him, but he realized sadly that magic didn't quite work that way, and crawled into Halo's bed on his side, clutching a pillow to his chest.
His nap was the longest he'd had in weeks. It was still dark; the small clock next to him read two-fifteen. Drowsily he turned over, mashing his cheek into the pillow and letting his numb, sleep-prickly left arm fall into the narrow space between the bed and the wall. His slowly-recovering hand brushed something hard… it felt like a book.
He grasped it with stinging fingers and hauled it out of the space… it was a book. He turned it over. The leather cover, embossed with silver lettering read: "The Book of Shadows." and underneath the title in much smaller letters was the name: "Halo Mandelor."
"Halo…"
Snape sat up forcefully and opened the book in his lap to a page somewhere in the middle. A very familiar handwriting greeted him with the page's entry.
My entire life, my future, my existence is in the hands of the one person who will undoubtedly screw it up: my sorry excuse for a father. I suppose he'll be happy when I'm gone. Actually, the man will be a depressing old bat no matter what he does, so whether or not I'm here should matter little to him. Maybe I should just trap myself in here now and get it over with.
"Trap yourself in where?" Snape panicked, flipping furiously through the pages, landing on the very first page. It was a picture, a moving wizard picture, like the few he'd found in Halo's trunk. There were no people, just a swirling image that looked somewhat like a deserted beach.
"Inside a book?" his fingers brushed the page. "You wanted to trap yourself in here…" His navel experienced a powerful yank at the moment his fingers touched the edge of the picture, and within milliseconds he was flying through time, space and reality. Images flashed by, most all too quickly to be properly regarded, and being off-balance already from the rough transit, Snape thought he wouldn't be able to gaze upon them properly, nor did he care. His only wish was to find Halo and bring her home.
And then one image stopped before him. It was her family, the family he had sent her to live with so many years ago. They were clapping and laughing, as a younger Halo ran over to them after dismounting from a large, gray horse. They knew better than to hug her, but their smiles were grand.
"You did it! Our girl did it!" the image of Mr. DeMornay cheered, sounding like an echo through the void.
"We're so proud of you!" Mrs. DeMornay was near tears of happiness.
And on the image of Halo's face was… he'd never seen it before… a true smile.
His stomach lurched again as he was pulled faster and faster in another direction.
The happy image had long since faded, and another was coming into view. This one he recognized; it was a scene of her training in his Potions Classroom, and he didn't have to strain through the rushing in his ears to hear what his counterpart was saying.
"Your style of 'living' has made me ashamed to be your father."
Then he saw himself fly backward into the window. His heart, beating furiously, gave a saddened throb as the image changed.
The image of Snape slammed his fists onto the desk. "Break it, you stupid girl!"
"I hate you!" Halo screamed.
And another image.
"Then why are you in here sulking like you've lost your best friend?" his image asked in his trademark scathing tone.
Halo looked him in bare astonishment. "Because I have. And it's because of you."
And then another.
The image of Halo's dark metallic eyes fixed on his form, but she wouldn't look him straight in the eye. "Is that what you think?" She shook her head slowly in disagreement. "I've hated you for quite long enough. I'm through. If anything, I'm sorry for you… sorry that you have no feelings. Even to hate me back would be too much for your selfish mind to handle."
His body was flung onto a rough but forgiving ground.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The idea for the linking book comes from the MYST trilogy. Just borrowing, no profit on my part, so no litigation, please!
The end is coming. Prepare yourself.