A/N: This is my first story attempt at ff.net. If I get even ONE little
review asking me to continue, I'll most likely continue it. So, R/R!!
Disclaimer: Okay, don't. own. anything. Don't own Harry Potter, don't own this computer, don't own ANYTHING! So. don't sue! Please! You'd get nothing.
--
Dumbledore sat at his desk inside his office. He began to massage his temples. Two weeks. TWO WEEKS! He had put an ad out for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the Daily Prophet every day for two weeks now! Still nobody had applied. There had to be somebody who wanted the job.
Suddenly a greasy haired head popped through the door to the headmaster's office. "Sir, I believe that with my immensely vast knowledge of the Dark Arts..er..defense against the Dark Arts, I can successfully torture..um..teach the students and-"
"Severus, this is the fifth time you've come to my office today. Could you please leave, if you wouldn't mind?" Professor Dumbledore said slowly and calmly.
The pouting and dejected looking Professor Snape walked out of the room, sniffling.
Dumbledore went back to massaging his temples. Hogwarts' past five Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers had only lasted one year each, but that was because of very special circumstances: One died, one lost his memory, one was a werewolf, one turned out to be a Death Eater in disguise, and one went completely nuts. Hey, maybe that was why nobody would apply.. NAH!
CRACK!
Apparating before the headmaster was a tall, thin man with a white, skull- like head. He had bright red eyes and slits for a nose. Standing in front of Prof. Dumbledore was none other than.
"Voldemort, old buddy, old pal! What are you up to, apparating into my office?" Dumbledore said jovially.
Before Voldemort could answer, a bushy haired girl with buckteeth and a bossy voice appeared out of nowhere. "You can't apparate into Hogwarts! How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"Miss Granger, what are you-" the headmaster was cut off by a sudden shriek as Hermione noticed who was also in the room.
"EEEH!!! VOLDEMORT!!! I'm, like, your BIGGEST fan ever!! Can I have your autograph?"
"Oh, all right," Voldemort said, signing a piece of parchment for Hermione.
"Oh, THANK YOU!!!!!" Hermione sniffed, beginning to cry hysterically and hug Voldemort. With a wave of his wand, the headmaster made Hermione Granger vanish as quickly as she had appeared.
With eyes sparkling, Dumbledore spoke. "You're such an old softie. So, what are you doing here?"
"Why, I'm here to answer this ad I found in the Daily Prophet!" Voldemort answered, brandishing the ad from inside his robes.
"You? Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Well, Voldie, I don't think the parents of our students would like that very much. You don't exactly have a very good reputation."
"Who? Me? What are you talking about? I've never done anything in my life that would suggest that I'm a bad person!"
"Well, you have killed a LOT of people.."
"Oh yeah. That. Haha! You know I never meant any of that!"
"Hmm. But what would stop you from hurting any of my students?" Dumbledore inquired.
"I would NEVER! Just look at my shirt!" Voldemort opened his robes to give Dumbledore a better look at his t-shirt. On the front was a winking smiley giving the peace sign. Voldemort turned around to show the back of his shirt. On the back, it said, "I LOVE CHILDREN." "See?"
"I don't know.. Leave your resume with me and I'll think about it," Dumbledore answered.
"Ugh. Fine," Voldemort sighed, pushing a piece of parchment into the headmaster's hands. With a loud CRACK, he disapparated from the office.
"You can't disapparate on Hogwarts grounds, it---"
"Miss Granger," Dumbledore interrupted. "Please go back to your house and enjoy the summer."
An embarrassed Hermione fled from the office.
--
So? Is Voldemort telling the truth? Would he be a good teacher? What's it say on his resume? Should Dumbledore hire him? You will only know if you review! So. REVIEW! Or I shall be forced to set my stuffed cow named MiMi on you!!!
Disclaimer: Okay, don't. own. anything. Don't own Harry Potter, don't own this computer, don't own ANYTHING! So. don't sue! Please! You'd get nothing.
--
Dumbledore sat at his desk inside his office. He began to massage his temples. Two weeks. TWO WEEKS! He had put an ad out for a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in the Daily Prophet every day for two weeks now! Still nobody had applied. There had to be somebody who wanted the job.
Suddenly a greasy haired head popped through the door to the headmaster's office. "Sir, I believe that with my immensely vast knowledge of the Dark Arts..er..defense against the Dark Arts, I can successfully torture..um..teach the students and-"
"Severus, this is the fifth time you've come to my office today. Could you please leave, if you wouldn't mind?" Professor Dumbledore said slowly and calmly.
The pouting and dejected looking Professor Snape walked out of the room, sniffling.
Dumbledore went back to massaging his temples. Hogwarts' past five Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers had only lasted one year each, but that was because of very special circumstances: One died, one lost his memory, one was a werewolf, one turned out to be a Death Eater in disguise, and one went completely nuts. Hey, maybe that was why nobody would apply.. NAH!
CRACK!
Apparating before the headmaster was a tall, thin man with a white, skull- like head. He had bright red eyes and slits for a nose. Standing in front of Prof. Dumbledore was none other than.
"Voldemort, old buddy, old pal! What are you up to, apparating into my office?" Dumbledore said jovially.
Before Voldemort could answer, a bushy haired girl with buckteeth and a bossy voice appeared out of nowhere. "You can't apparate into Hogwarts! How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"Miss Granger, what are you-" the headmaster was cut off by a sudden shriek as Hermione noticed who was also in the room.
"EEEH!!! VOLDEMORT!!! I'm, like, your BIGGEST fan ever!! Can I have your autograph?"
"Oh, all right," Voldemort said, signing a piece of parchment for Hermione.
"Oh, THANK YOU!!!!!" Hermione sniffed, beginning to cry hysterically and hug Voldemort. With a wave of his wand, the headmaster made Hermione Granger vanish as quickly as she had appeared.
With eyes sparkling, Dumbledore spoke. "You're such an old softie. So, what are you doing here?"
"Why, I'm here to answer this ad I found in the Daily Prophet!" Voldemort answered, brandishing the ad from inside his robes.
"You? Our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Well, Voldie, I don't think the parents of our students would like that very much. You don't exactly have a very good reputation."
"Who? Me? What are you talking about? I've never done anything in my life that would suggest that I'm a bad person!"
"Well, you have killed a LOT of people.."
"Oh yeah. That. Haha! You know I never meant any of that!"
"Hmm. But what would stop you from hurting any of my students?" Dumbledore inquired.
"I would NEVER! Just look at my shirt!" Voldemort opened his robes to give Dumbledore a better look at his t-shirt. On the front was a winking smiley giving the peace sign. Voldemort turned around to show the back of his shirt. On the back, it said, "I LOVE CHILDREN." "See?"
"I don't know.. Leave your resume with me and I'll think about it," Dumbledore answered.
"Ugh. Fine," Voldemort sighed, pushing a piece of parchment into the headmaster's hands. With a loud CRACK, he disapparated from the office.
"You can't disapparate on Hogwarts grounds, it---"
"Miss Granger," Dumbledore interrupted. "Please go back to your house and enjoy the summer."
An embarrassed Hermione fled from the office.
--
So? Is Voldemort telling the truth? Would he be a good teacher? What's it say on his resume? Should Dumbledore hire him? You will only know if you review! So. REVIEW! Or I shall be forced to set my stuffed cow named MiMi on you!!!