Shattered
By: Silent Sniper
Why do I endure this?
Endure the pain and humilation
Every night his deep voice whispers in my ear. Whispers words of insults, love or lust. It scares me and a shiver runs down my spine whever I hear your voice.
Its frightning...
Its wonderful...
I must be insane. I must be out of my mind. Or am I?
My mind insists that I am crazy, but something tells me otherwise. My heart. It always beats fast when you are near me. It tells me that I shouldn't leave your side.
Never.
I admire your appearance. Its harsh. Its like the mountains. Rugged and majestic. Your unruly white hair tumbles down to your shoulders. Those narrow chocolate brown eyes that bore a hole into my soul. Your slender body that moves with such ease and grace. Its like watching a panther sneak up on unsuspecting pray.
Your personality is also wonderful. Its dark and full of unsaid despair. Beautiful. You love that blood, my blood. You love to taste and drink the crimson fluid. It brings a smile and a cry out of my lips. You're harsh and fiendish.
Insane.
Possessive.
Cold.
You don't know how to love...
You won't tell me that you love me. That you cherish me. Instead you just go on about my looks. You say that I am beautiful. That you can stay with me in this darkened room. You say that I am forever yours.
Am I?
To be yours would be bliss. But I am not. To be completely yours would be to be for you to hold me. To whisper words of desire and want. Not what I want to hear. I don't want to hear that!
Please! I want to hear you say it!
I want to hear you say that you love me. Please. That would make my life brighter. It would make me so happy. My heart longs to hear it. Those three little words. It won't take long, I promise. I whisper that into your ear as you kiss me. I cry out as pleasure mixes with pain. Pain and pleasure. Divine. Covered in sweet honey kisses. Its intoxicating.
I can't get enough of it.
My eyes snap open as I feel your lips on my neck. Thats going to leave a mark... Your hands are so gentle at the beginning. So soft and tender. Then it gets unpleasant. Your touches become rough and hurried. Teeth now nip at my skin with a fevered pace. I feel my blood seeping out of me. I also feel my tears going down my face. I can't help it. It hurts so much. Its so wonderful.
Yet my heart still aches. It aches during those stuffy nights.
Its because I don't know if you actually love me. I don't know! The sneaky voice in my head tells me you are merely toying with me while my heart tells me that you love me. That you won't let me go. That you will not fade out of my arms. That you won't leave me alone.
Will you?
Will you leave me when you get tired of me? Will you leave broken and bleeding on the floor. Bleeding because you ripped out me heart....Then will find a better lover....
I dreamed once....that you did leave me. You called me pathetic and that you never loved me. That I was only good enough to warm up your bed. You laughed in my face. I begged you not to leave me. Your face twists in disgust and anger. You yelled at me and started to beat me. Unmercifully. Violently. Then a figure came up to you and laced on arms around you. A man...You smile and kiss him. Then without a moments hesitation you rip out my heart and I look into your hate filled eyes as I fall to the ground. Your cold laughter rings in my ears as I die.
Thats when I scream and wake up in a cold sweat...
I start to think as you slowly go inside me. My mind is not focused on the pleasure, but the doubts...Will you actually leave me? Even when I confessed my love for you and gave myself to you? I close my eyes and gather my courage..
"Bakura?" I said quietly.
"Hm?" You whisper as you kiss me deeply.
"Do you love me?" I ask and wait.
I sense you freeze. You don't say anything...I start to panic....Please say something. Do something...
You did.
You move off of me and gather your clothes. The hazy fog clears out of my mind as I watch you dress. What are you doing?
"Bakura?" I asked again as I force myself to calm down.
You merely glance at me. Your brown eyes hold no emotion. They are blank. Now I start to get worried. Why won't you say anything? I sat up and wrapped the blanket around myself. I cautiously make my way towards you.
"Bakura? Say something," I said as I placed my hand on his arm. He stared at me for a moment.
"I need to think, Ryou," you simply said as you walked away.
Tears well up in my eyes as you leave. What do you need to think about? Our love? No...My heart starts to ache as my tears wet the blanket. I can't stop them....
Its true...
You don't love me...
You were only with me because you only wanted me to warm your nights...
I fall on my knees as I feel my emotions take control of me...
You don't love me....
I stumble into the bathroom and look into the mirror. I see myself. My reflection. How awful. Limp white hair, big brown eyes that looked too innocent, but right now they are empty. I am nothing compared to Marik. He's beautiful...With that blond hair, deep violet eyes and most of all that tan. I am pale...Maybe thats where Bakura is heading...into Marik's arms....
No....
But it makes sense...
I was worth nothing...
I decide to end this charade...
I grab a razor that Bakura left this morning and gaze at it in wonder. Should I?
Yes.
I want Bakura to live happily. Not tied to me just because I am his hikari... He doesn't need me anymore. He has his own body. His own life. He doesn't need me nor want me. I know I won't be able to gaze at Marik and Bakura together without breaking down. I love him more then life itself. I need him to live.
I will end this misery...
I wince as the blade touches the flesh of my wrist. There's no turning back. I drive the blade deeper to make a more accurate cut. Blood starts to seep out. I watch as the crimson liquid started to stain the bathroom tiles. I continued to slit my wrists and ignored the pain. My vision started to grow fuzzy and dim. My strenght was slowely leaving me. I try to think about the happy moments with Bakura.
Even if it was false love...
The razor slipped from my hands and landed with a small clink. My breath started to grow uneven.I look up at the bathroom window...the stars are out tonight...I smile and look at the midnight sky as I await my demise.
Beautiful...
Bakura's face flashes in my mind and I smile once more. I love him...nothing will make me hate him. Nothing at all. I will always love him...
"Bakura...goodbye, koi," I whisper with my last breath as my vision grew black.
I will love him...forever and for always.
*****************
I just had to do this! I made Ryou die! Poor Ryou. I love that British accented boy! Did Bakura love Ryou or does he merely lust after him? The previous chapter was in Bakura's point of view, but was it true? Hm? Disclaimers: YGO does not belong to me and never will be.
By: Silent Sniper
Why do I endure this?
Endure the pain and humilation
Every night his deep voice whispers in my ear. Whispers words of insults, love or lust. It scares me and a shiver runs down my spine whever I hear your voice.
Its frightning...
Its wonderful...
I must be insane. I must be out of my mind. Or am I?
My mind insists that I am crazy, but something tells me otherwise. My heart. It always beats fast when you are near me. It tells me that I shouldn't leave your side.
Never.
I admire your appearance. Its harsh. Its like the mountains. Rugged and majestic. Your unruly white hair tumbles down to your shoulders. Those narrow chocolate brown eyes that bore a hole into my soul. Your slender body that moves with such ease and grace. Its like watching a panther sneak up on unsuspecting pray.
Your personality is also wonderful. Its dark and full of unsaid despair. Beautiful. You love that blood, my blood. You love to taste and drink the crimson fluid. It brings a smile and a cry out of my lips. You're harsh and fiendish.
Insane.
Possessive.
Cold.
You don't know how to love...
You won't tell me that you love me. That you cherish me. Instead you just go on about my looks. You say that I am beautiful. That you can stay with me in this darkened room. You say that I am forever yours.
Am I?
To be yours would be bliss. But I am not. To be completely yours would be to be for you to hold me. To whisper words of desire and want. Not what I want to hear. I don't want to hear that!
Please! I want to hear you say it!
I want to hear you say that you love me. Please. That would make my life brighter. It would make me so happy. My heart longs to hear it. Those three little words. It won't take long, I promise. I whisper that into your ear as you kiss me. I cry out as pleasure mixes with pain. Pain and pleasure. Divine. Covered in sweet honey kisses. Its intoxicating.
I can't get enough of it.
My eyes snap open as I feel your lips on my neck. Thats going to leave a mark... Your hands are so gentle at the beginning. So soft and tender. Then it gets unpleasant. Your touches become rough and hurried. Teeth now nip at my skin with a fevered pace. I feel my blood seeping out of me. I also feel my tears going down my face. I can't help it. It hurts so much. Its so wonderful.
Yet my heart still aches. It aches during those stuffy nights.
Its because I don't know if you actually love me. I don't know! The sneaky voice in my head tells me you are merely toying with me while my heart tells me that you love me. That you won't let me go. That you will not fade out of my arms. That you won't leave me alone.
Will you?
Will you leave me when you get tired of me? Will you leave broken and bleeding on the floor. Bleeding because you ripped out me heart....Then will find a better lover....
I dreamed once....that you did leave me. You called me pathetic and that you never loved me. That I was only good enough to warm up your bed. You laughed in my face. I begged you not to leave me. Your face twists in disgust and anger. You yelled at me and started to beat me. Unmercifully. Violently. Then a figure came up to you and laced on arms around you. A man...You smile and kiss him. Then without a moments hesitation you rip out my heart and I look into your hate filled eyes as I fall to the ground. Your cold laughter rings in my ears as I die.
Thats when I scream and wake up in a cold sweat...
I start to think as you slowly go inside me. My mind is not focused on the pleasure, but the doubts...Will you actually leave me? Even when I confessed my love for you and gave myself to you? I close my eyes and gather my courage..
"Bakura?" I said quietly.
"Hm?" You whisper as you kiss me deeply.
"Do you love me?" I ask and wait.
I sense you freeze. You don't say anything...I start to panic....Please say something. Do something...
You did.
You move off of me and gather your clothes. The hazy fog clears out of my mind as I watch you dress. What are you doing?
"Bakura?" I asked again as I force myself to calm down.
You merely glance at me. Your brown eyes hold no emotion. They are blank. Now I start to get worried. Why won't you say anything? I sat up and wrapped the blanket around myself. I cautiously make my way towards you.
"Bakura? Say something," I said as I placed my hand on his arm. He stared at me for a moment.
"I need to think, Ryou," you simply said as you walked away.
Tears well up in my eyes as you leave. What do you need to think about? Our love? No...My heart starts to ache as my tears wet the blanket. I can't stop them....
Its true...
You don't love me...
You were only with me because you only wanted me to warm your nights...
I fall on my knees as I feel my emotions take control of me...
You don't love me....
I stumble into the bathroom and look into the mirror. I see myself. My reflection. How awful. Limp white hair, big brown eyes that looked too innocent, but right now they are empty. I am nothing compared to Marik. He's beautiful...With that blond hair, deep violet eyes and most of all that tan. I am pale...Maybe thats where Bakura is heading...into Marik's arms....
No....
But it makes sense...
I was worth nothing...
I decide to end this charade...
I grab a razor that Bakura left this morning and gaze at it in wonder. Should I?
Yes.
I want Bakura to live happily. Not tied to me just because I am his hikari... He doesn't need me anymore. He has his own body. His own life. He doesn't need me nor want me. I know I won't be able to gaze at Marik and Bakura together without breaking down. I love him more then life itself. I need him to live.
I will end this misery...
I wince as the blade touches the flesh of my wrist. There's no turning back. I drive the blade deeper to make a more accurate cut. Blood starts to seep out. I watch as the crimson liquid started to stain the bathroom tiles. I continued to slit my wrists and ignored the pain. My vision started to grow fuzzy and dim. My strenght was slowely leaving me. I try to think about the happy moments with Bakura.
Even if it was false love...
The razor slipped from my hands and landed with a small clink. My breath started to grow uneven.I look up at the bathroom window...the stars are out tonight...I smile and look at the midnight sky as I await my demise.
Beautiful...
Bakura's face flashes in my mind and I smile once more. I love him...nothing will make me hate him. Nothing at all. I will always love him...
"Bakura...goodbye, koi," I whisper with my last breath as my vision grew black.
I will love him...forever and for always.
*****************
I just had to do this! I made Ryou die! Poor Ryou. I love that British accented boy! Did Bakura love Ryou or does he merely lust after him? The previous chapter was in Bakura's point of view, but was it true? Hm? Disclaimers: YGO does not belong to me and never will be.