Chapter Thirteen
Back in her own room, Abby was unaware she was the topic of such conversation. She was busy fighting her own demons in her sleep.
As hard as it was for her sometimes, dealing with dreams of the future, Abby preferred it immensely to dreaming of the past.
The future always held hope - the past, merely regret.
Tonight - visions of the past had her tossing, turning, crying out in her sleep. Whenever this happened, she'd wake up far more exhausted than she had been when she went to bed. The visions much more real because they were her own painful memories.
It was always the same. The first image was of her mother -
So beautiful, so kind, so young when she'd left this world eight years ago.
Julia McBride's only crime had been being vulnerable and naïve, traits her daughter fought against inheriting her whole life.
Barely more than a child when Abby was born, Julia had been still half in love with a man who blew into town, sweeping her off her feet. He had promised her the world, and he left her with nothing.
Nothing, that is, but Abby, by far the greatest gift of her life.
Her precious little one, so quiet and serious - her Abigail was all that mattered to her in the world. They had made a home here - just the two of them, caught up in an easy routine. School days and homework - Friday's were movie nights, when they ate pizza and then cuddled in quilts and watched old movies with big bowls of popcorn on their laps.
Julia smiled as she remembered all the time they had shared. Her little girl was growing up - nearly 18 and now, so much in love with Cameron Donovan she nearly floated when she walked. Those two were a match made in heaven, Julia thought with a smile. Her daughter was already so much smarter, so much luckier in love than she would ever be. The fact made her breathe easier. She wanted nothing more than a better life for Abby than she had herself.
Abby could see her mother now walking along the same trail she had hiked everyday. Her shiny brown hair tucked under a baseball hat, her steps, sure and strong.
She reached the highest point quickly and easily and looked out on the canyon below. Her last thoughts were of how she loved this place, loved the life she had made here with her daughter.
Suddenly, horrifically, the edge of the trail just gave way. She hadn't been careless, it was simply a shift of the earth over time. Julia lost her footing and began to fall, a strange sort of peace coming over her as she did.
As she had that day, Abby cried helplessly, seeing it all in her mind. She could see herself as she ran up the trail - reaching the top exhausted and minutes too late. No one could convince her that if she had been able to run faster, been quicker, she would have saved her.
Abby fought to wake up - to stop from revisiting the nightmare that had nearly killed her too.
The first had barely ended before the next began.
Just as she had that night long ago, she cried out, "Oh God - no - Cameron!"
Four years after losing her mother - Abby had finally begun to believe him, that she would want her to be happy, to live her life, to move on.
He wanted to be the one she would do that with.
Cam had always protected her - ever since they'd been young. He had loved her even then, but hadn't known it. She could see herself as a child, her knees stained with grass, her hair slipping out of her braids, her glasses sliding down her nose. From the start, she had always chased after him.
Two years older - two years faster - he was sure she'd never catch up.
He'd been wrong.
From the time they were children he'd seen the way people would treat her because of her gift. He saw them hurt her, their words thrown at her like knives, and cutting nearly as deep. They were afraid of what they could not understand. Whenever it happened, he'd been there to scold them, to take her safely away.
Her talents had always impressed him. His only regret had been that he'd never be able to really surprise her.
In her mind, Abby saw herself waiting for him, in her favorite dress, in their favorite place, nursing a glass of pale white wine. He'd been gone for three days, but it seemed like three years. She would never get used to being without him. He and Gwen, were all she had left in the world.
She thought of him as she waited, smiled at the picture of his face in her mind. His hazel eyes smiling as always, like he was remembering the funniest joke he'd ever heard - his dark hair falling over his forehead and nearly into his eyes - no matter how often he'd cut it.
Minutes clicked by, soon totaling almost an hour. Cameron had called to say he was running late, easing her worry for the moment.
Just as she had that night, she could see him on his way. He was in a rush to get to her but he drove with caution, knowing the roads could be icy.
He had finally done it. He'd gotten the job he had dreamed of and couldn't wait to share the news.
More important than that, he couldn't wait to see her face when he gave her the ring he held in his pocket, as he asked her to always be his.
To see her eyes shine like jewels behind those heavy frames, glowing nearly as brightly as her smile.
Knowing Abby, she'd be more excited about the job than the diamond. Which was precisely why he loved her so.
He was nearly there, so close. He'd been only a mile and a half away, when he felt the tires start to slide, and tried in vain to gain control, as the car spun around and around.
He was actually smiling as it happened, his last thoughts only of her.
Still half asleep Abby sat up in bed - the visions still coming, so strong, so real she thought it was happening all over again right then and there.
In her mind she stood by the barstool, in reality she stood by the bed. In both, she started toward the door, desperate to reach him.
It was no use. She was too late. She'd never get there in time.
She could again feel her world shattering, the pain so fierce, it took every last bit of her strength. Watching as he left her forever, helpless to stop him, she collapsed in horror, limply falling to the floor.
Back in her own room, Abby was unaware she was the topic of such conversation. She was busy fighting her own demons in her sleep.
As hard as it was for her sometimes, dealing with dreams of the future, Abby preferred it immensely to dreaming of the past.
The future always held hope - the past, merely regret.
Tonight - visions of the past had her tossing, turning, crying out in her sleep. Whenever this happened, she'd wake up far more exhausted than she had been when she went to bed. The visions much more real because they were her own painful memories.
It was always the same. The first image was of her mother -
So beautiful, so kind, so young when she'd left this world eight years ago.
Julia McBride's only crime had been being vulnerable and naïve, traits her daughter fought against inheriting her whole life.
Barely more than a child when Abby was born, Julia had been still half in love with a man who blew into town, sweeping her off her feet. He had promised her the world, and he left her with nothing.
Nothing, that is, but Abby, by far the greatest gift of her life.
Her precious little one, so quiet and serious - her Abigail was all that mattered to her in the world. They had made a home here - just the two of them, caught up in an easy routine. School days and homework - Friday's were movie nights, when they ate pizza and then cuddled in quilts and watched old movies with big bowls of popcorn on their laps.
Julia smiled as she remembered all the time they had shared. Her little girl was growing up - nearly 18 and now, so much in love with Cameron Donovan she nearly floated when she walked. Those two were a match made in heaven, Julia thought with a smile. Her daughter was already so much smarter, so much luckier in love than she would ever be. The fact made her breathe easier. She wanted nothing more than a better life for Abby than she had herself.
Abby could see her mother now walking along the same trail she had hiked everyday. Her shiny brown hair tucked under a baseball hat, her steps, sure and strong.
She reached the highest point quickly and easily and looked out on the canyon below. Her last thoughts were of how she loved this place, loved the life she had made here with her daughter.
Suddenly, horrifically, the edge of the trail just gave way. She hadn't been careless, it was simply a shift of the earth over time. Julia lost her footing and began to fall, a strange sort of peace coming over her as she did.
As she had that day, Abby cried helplessly, seeing it all in her mind. She could see herself as she ran up the trail - reaching the top exhausted and minutes too late. No one could convince her that if she had been able to run faster, been quicker, she would have saved her.
Abby fought to wake up - to stop from revisiting the nightmare that had nearly killed her too.
The first had barely ended before the next began.
Just as she had that night long ago, she cried out, "Oh God - no - Cameron!"
Four years after losing her mother - Abby had finally begun to believe him, that she would want her to be happy, to live her life, to move on.
He wanted to be the one she would do that with.
Cam had always protected her - ever since they'd been young. He had loved her even then, but hadn't known it. She could see herself as a child, her knees stained with grass, her hair slipping out of her braids, her glasses sliding down her nose. From the start, she had always chased after him.
Two years older - two years faster - he was sure she'd never catch up.
He'd been wrong.
From the time they were children he'd seen the way people would treat her because of her gift. He saw them hurt her, their words thrown at her like knives, and cutting nearly as deep. They were afraid of what they could not understand. Whenever it happened, he'd been there to scold them, to take her safely away.
Her talents had always impressed him. His only regret had been that he'd never be able to really surprise her.
In her mind, Abby saw herself waiting for him, in her favorite dress, in their favorite place, nursing a glass of pale white wine. He'd been gone for three days, but it seemed like three years. She would never get used to being without him. He and Gwen, were all she had left in the world.
She thought of him as she waited, smiled at the picture of his face in her mind. His hazel eyes smiling as always, like he was remembering the funniest joke he'd ever heard - his dark hair falling over his forehead and nearly into his eyes - no matter how often he'd cut it.
Minutes clicked by, soon totaling almost an hour. Cameron had called to say he was running late, easing her worry for the moment.
Just as she had that night, she could see him on his way. He was in a rush to get to her but he drove with caution, knowing the roads could be icy.
He had finally done it. He'd gotten the job he had dreamed of and couldn't wait to share the news.
More important than that, he couldn't wait to see her face when he gave her the ring he held in his pocket, as he asked her to always be his.
To see her eyes shine like jewels behind those heavy frames, glowing nearly as brightly as her smile.
Knowing Abby, she'd be more excited about the job than the diamond. Which was precisely why he loved her so.
He was nearly there, so close. He'd been only a mile and a half away, when he felt the tires start to slide, and tried in vain to gain control, as the car spun around and around.
He was actually smiling as it happened, his last thoughts only of her.
Still half asleep Abby sat up in bed - the visions still coming, so strong, so real she thought it was happening all over again right then and there.
In her mind she stood by the barstool, in reality she stood by the bed. In both, she started toward the door, desperate to reach him.
It was no use. She was too late. She'd never get there in time.
She could again feel her world shattering, the pain so fierce, it took every last bit of her strength. Watching as he left her forever, helpless to stop him, she collapsed in horror, limply falling to the floor.