Chapter Thirty-eight
She had finally convinced him that Alison needed him and was acting the way she had out of love for him. Once he finally believed it, Rafe's hurt turned to anger and desperation. He wanted to get to her - now more than ever.
Abby knew there was one other thing he needed to know - something he needed to agree to do in order to succeed. Abby took a deep breath and told Rafe that she had one more thing to ask him before they could go. Her voice shook as she laid out her little proposal. His response was just what she expected.
"You are out of your mind."
"Rafe." Abby pleaded.
"No. Stop. You can't be serious."
"Rafe. Caleb can help you. He can." She continued to try and make him see.
Rafe whirled on Abby, rage filling his voice as he spoke, "Abby. OK. You know what? You may be able to see the future. You may be able to make me believe that Alison still loves me and is trying to fight Joshua alone but you will never ever convince me that Caleb is someone who can help me."
"Oh. OK. You never trusted him. Ever." Abby said, her tone a bit sarcastic.
"No."
"Never?" She asked.
"Abby. Read my lips. I will never trust Caleb. I never have - I never will."
"You didn't trust that he could get you out of the cell Joshua held you in? Interesting. I wonder how you ever got out."
Rafe sighed in frustration at her words. "That was different."
"Why?" Abby asked, exasperated beyond belief. God help Alison, she thought, I think Rafe might be even more stubborn than Cameron was. She didn't think it was possible.
Rafe's voice began to rise as he answered her. She was driving him crazy. "Because he wanted Livvie to bite him to turn him back into a bat. I said I'd leave him alone and let him do it if he'd get us out. That's the only reason he did it."
"OK. Well. Just so you know. As far as I can see, for the moment, he's still human."
"Really? You're serious?" Rafe was a bit shocked at the news. He should have realized it - but with everything happening to Alison, his instincts were focused on saving her. Not, for the first time in a long time - he realized - on Caleb.
"Yes - really. Joshua drugged him. Livvie tried but she couldn't bite him. They need some sort of antidote before she can."
"Good." He stood facing her and folded his arms across his chest, a smug look on his face.
"Rafe. Didn't you say that if he helped you get out of there you'd leave him alone?"
"Yes. Leave him alone - not help him get fangs. There's the difference."
Abby decided to say the words that she knew would be the most persuasive. "OK. If I told you that you needed him to save Alison would you do it then?"
"Hey, Abby. Listen. You and I may be related someday - if I can ever get Alison away from that monster - we will be, sooner than you think. I appreciate your help, I do. But if we're going to be family I need you to understand something. I will do anything to get to her."
Abby was sure she had made progress. She almost sighed with relief but then she heard him add, "Except trust Caleb."
"You don't mean that." She said as she stared into his eyes.
He didn't answer her. As a response, he started to turn away.
Rafe stopped at the sound of Abby's voice, pleading at him.
"Rafe. Please. I know what he's done. I know how despicable he can be. I do. I know that. But he knows Joshua. He wants him gone almost - if not just as much as you do."
"Then, Abby - let him try! At this point I don't care who destroys Joshua. I just want him gone. If Caleb wants to try - by all means let him! He doesn't need my help. He won't want it."
"He does. He already agreed. I told them where to find the antidote and he said."
"You what?"
"I told him."
Rafe's eyes met Abby's. The look in them was deadly as he cut her off. "I need you to get away from me. Now."
"Rafe."
He started walking towards her, causing her to back away in fear. His voice grew more and more angry with each word he spoke.
"I cannot believe you did that! I can't believe you would let that happen - and that you actually would help him do it! You know what? You told me where I could find Alison; you told me that she lied to me to keep me safe. You've done your job. Now - get the hell out of here."
Rafe stopped his attack as Abby's back hit the trunk of a nearby tree. He turned away, his mind racing, his hands clenched into fists.
Abby stared at her feet, tears filling her eyes. If he really wanted her to go, she'd have to trust that they'd save her without her help. She'd have to watch on helplessly and see how it all worked out from thousands of miles away. She'd leave, in a minute, if she truly thought she'd put Alison in more danger by trusting Caleb. But the fact remained. He'd done the same thing she did to save Alison - and she needed him to realize that before she would go.
"I'll go. But I need to just say one more thing before I do." Abby's voice was shaky.
"One thing. Then, go." He said turned around.
Abby looked up at Rafe and took a deep breath. His gaze was still so furious - it sent a shiver of fear down her spine. This was her last chance. If it didn't change anything - she would leave the first thing in the morning.
Her voice was shaking as she spoke. "If that's what you really want, Rafe. If you want me to leave - then fine. I'll go. I'll go back to Colorado and maybe someday, if everything works out, Alison and I can finally meet each other. No matter what, even if I go, I'll still want to get to know my sister. I'll still want to be a part of her life. I know we've never actually met - but I do know that I already love her. I do. Anything I've done so far is because I love her. I hope you know that.
Rafe nodded slightly in acknowledgement. He was sorry that it had come to this. Alison had waited so long to find her sister. He wished he didn't have to send Abby away - but it was for the best. She wasn't helping him - and more importantly Alison - anymore.
She took another deep breath to steady herself and continued. "I have to say one thing. If you want to send me away - make absolutely sure that you ask me to go because you don't want my help. Send me away because you're not sure I can actually help anymore, or because I failed to save the other people I've loved in my life. I'd expect that. Maybe, I'd even deserve it."
Rafe recognized in Abby something so similar to himself at that moment. She took on responsibility for everything that happened to those she loved. He understood it because he did the same thing himself.
Tears began to fall from her eyes but she barely noticed. She needed to say this last thing and then she would go.
"Rafe, just - just don't be a hypocrite. Don't punish me - or Alison - because I did something that you decided once before to do yourself. You thought Caleb would be turned when you asked him to free you from Joshua's. You helped make that possible and you did it to save Alison. What I did - telling them where the antidote is to get him to help me save her, well - it's the exact same thing."
As he heard Abby's words Rafe was wracked with guilt, his anger at her drained away. She was right. It was. It was exactly the same.
Tears streaming down her face, Abby took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes as she turned to walk away.
"Abby. Stop."
Abby turned back and looked up at Rafe. As she did - her eyes met his.
Oh God. Rafe almost cried himself as he looked at her. Without her glasses, Abby was nearly a carbon copy of Alison. Her hair was darker, her eyes were bluer, but the resemblance was remarkable. Abby was a bit older and they only shared one parent - but that was the only thing that kept them from nearly being twins.
"Look at you. You look just like her."
"What?" Abby was confused.
"Without your glasses - without them - Abby, you and Alison - you could almost be twins."
"What?" she asked - not believing him at all. She knew exactly what Alison looked like. She was stunningly beautiful. Abby knew that she herself was mousy and plain, a four-eyed bookworm. Rafe must just be missing Alison so desperately he'd begun to see things.
"You do - you look so much like her. Believe me, I'd know."
Suddenly uncomfortable with what she viewed as a huge compliment, Abby put her glasses back on. "Well. Thank you. I'm still not sure you're right, but that's really sweet of you to say." She stared at him for a minute and realized he hadn't asked her to stay. She had to go.
She cleared her throat and began to say her goodbye, "Rafe. It was really great getting to meet you. I'm glad I could help for as long as I did. But, I guess I'm not helping anymore - so it's time for me to go now. Just be careful, OK? Please - take care of yourself, and my sister. You're both so, so lucky to have each other. I hope I'll see you again someday soon."
Before she could even take a step to walk away, Rafe moved in front of her, blocking her path.
"Forget it." He said "You're not going anywhere."
Abby was once again confused, "I thought you said."
"No. You're right. I did do the same thing. As much as it kills me to admit it, I did trust Caleb and was going allow him to be turned. The fact that Joshua stopped him doesn't change the fact that I stood by and watched as he intended to do just that. It is the same exact thing that you did and I did it - only to save Alison. Just because it didn't happen then doesn't mean I didn't allow it or help make it happen myself."
As much as she had meant what she'd said, that she truly would have left if he wanted her to - she was so relieved. She was so glad that she was able to get through to him - but wanted him to be absolutely sure. "Rafe, are you sure you still want my help? You're sure don't want me to leave? If you do, I'd understand, really I would."
"I told you. You're not going anywhere." His words were soft, but they sounded like more a threat.
Abby wasn't sure this was the right time to bring it up, but she couldn't help it. He was starting to annoy her.
"OK. I'll stay. But just so you understand - it's not because you're ordering me to. Does Alison really get you away with this?" she asked.
"With what?" Rafe asked, not really comprehending what she was saying.
"Ordering her around like that. It's noble and quite romantic that you're always trying to protect her - but if you speak to her anywhere near the way you're speaking to me now I hope she gives you hell for it."
Rafe couldn't help but smile a bit. "She does. Every time."
"Good. I'm glad to hear it. So you'll come with me? To go meet with Caleb?"
"If I have to." He agreed, not sounding at all pleased at the thought.
"Don't make me take my glasses off and ask you." Abby said. She gave him a little grin, despite the fact that they had so much work left to do. Their fight - really - had just begun.
"I would have never said anything about that if I knew you were going to use it against me." Rafe said, shaking his head.
"I don't really think it would work anyway. I guess I might look a bit like her - but one thing's for sure - there's only one Alison."
"Yeah." He whispered, his heart aching as he thought of Alison now. How scared she must be. He needed to save her and if that meant teaming up with Caleb, so be it. She was all that mattered. She was all that ever mattered.
Abby watched the change come over Rafe at the mere sound of Alison's name. His love for her was so strong; it visibly hung in the air around him. She took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "OK. So let's go get her."
She had finally convinced him that Alison needed him and was acting the way she had out of love for him. Once he finally believed it, Rafe's hurt turned to anger and desperation. He wanted to get to her - now more than ever.
Abby knew there was one other thing he needed to know - something he needed to agree to do in order to succeed. Abby took a deep breath and told Rafe that she had one more thing to ask him before they could go. Her voice shook as she laid out her little proposal. His response was just what she expected.
"You are out of your mind."
"Rafe." Abby pleaded.
"No. Stop. You can't be serious."
"Rafe. Caleb can help you. He can." She continued to try and make him see.
Rafe whirled on Abby, rage filling his voice as he spoke, "Abby. OK. You know what? You may be able to see the future. You may be able to make me believe that Alison still loves me and is trying to fight Joshua alone but you will never ever convince me that Caleb is someone who can help me."
"Oh. OK. You never trusted him. Ever." Abby said, her tone a bit sarcastic.
"No."
"Never?" She asked.
"Abby. Read my lips. I will never trust Caleb. I never have - I never will."
"You didn't trust that he could get you out of the cell Joshua held you in? Interesting. I wonder how you ever got out."
Rafe sighed in frustration at her words. "That was different."
"Why?" Abby asked, exasperated beyond belief. God help Alison, she thought, I think Rafe might be even more stubborn than Cameron was. She didn't think it was possible.
Rafe's voice began to rise as he answered her. She was driving him crazy. "Because he wanted Livvie to bite him to turn him back into a bat. I said I'd leave him alone and let him do it if he'd get us out. That's the only reason he did it."
"OK. Well. Just so you know. As far as I can see, for the moment, he's still human."
"Really? You're serious?" Rafe was a bit shocked at the news. He should have realized it - but with everything happening to Alison, his instincts were focused on saving her. Not, for the first time in a long time - he realized - on Caleb.
"Yes - really. Joshua drugged him. Livvie tried but she couldn't bite him. They need some sort of antidote before she can."
"Good." He stood facing her and folded his arms across his chest, a smug look on his face.
"Rafe. Didn't you say that if he helped you get out of there you'd leave him alone?"
"Yes. Leave him alone - not help him get fangs. There's the difference."
Abby decided to say the words that she knew would be the most persuasive. "OK. If I told you that you needed him to save Alison would you do it then?"
"Hey, Abby. Listen. You and I may be related someday - if I can ever get Alison away from that monster - we will be, sooner than you think. I appreciate your help, I do. But if we're going to be family I need you to understand something. I will do anything to get to her."
Abby was sure she had made progress. She almost sighed with relief but then she heard him add, "Except trust Caleb."
"You don't mean that." She said as she stared into his eyes.
He didn't answer her. As a response, he started to turn away.
Rafe stopped at the sound of Abby's voice, pleading at him.
"Rafe. Please. I know what he's done. I know how despicable he can be. I do. I know that. But he knows Joshua. He wants him gone almost - if not just as much as you do."
"Then, Abby - let him try! At this point I don't care who destroys Joshua. I just want him gone. If Caleb wants to try - by all means let him! He doesn't need my help. He won't want it."
"He does. He already agreed. I told them where to find the antidote and he said."
"You what?"
"I told him."
Rafe's eyes met Abby's. The look in them was deadly as he cut her off. "I need you to get away from me. Now."
"Rafe."
He started walking towards her, causing her to back away in fear. His voice grew more and more angry with each word he spoke.
"I cannot believe you did that! I can't believe you would let that happen - and that you actually would help him do it! You know what? You told me where I could find Alison; you told me that she lied to me to keep me safe. You've done your job. Now - get the hell out of here."
Rafe stopped his attack as Abby's back hit the trunk of a nearby tree. He turned away, his mind racing, his hands clenched into fists.
Abby stared at her feet, tears filling her eyes. If he really wanted her to go, she'd have to trust that they'd save her without her help. She'd have to watch on helplessly and see how it all worked out from thousands of miles away. She'd leave, in a minute, if she truly thought she'd put Alison in more danger by trusting Caleb. But the fact remained. He'd done the same thing she did to save Alison - and she needed him to realize that before she would go.
"I'll go. But I need to just say one more thing before I do." Abby's voice was shaky.
"One thing. Then, go." He said turned around.
Abby looked up at Rafe and took a deep breath. His gaze was still so furious - it sent a shiver of fear down her spine. This was her last chance. If it didn't change anything - she would leave the first thing in the morning.
Her voice was shaking as she spoke. "If that's what you really want, Rafe. If you want me to leave - then fine. I'll go. I'll go back to Colorado and maybe someday, if everything works out, Alison and I can finally meet each other. No matter what, even if I go, I'll still want to get to know my sister. I'll still want to be a part of her life. I know we've never actually met - but I do know that I already love her. I do. Anything I've done so far is because I love her. I hope you know that.
Rafe nodded slightly in acknowledgement. He was sorry that it had come to this. Alison had waited so long to find her sister. He wished he didn't have to send Abby away - but it was for the best. She wasn't helping him - and more importantly Alison - anymore.
She took another deep breath to steady herself and continued. "I have to say one thing. If you want to send me away - make absolutely sure that you ask me to go because you don't want my help. Send me away because you're not sure I can actually help anymore, or because I failed to save the other people I've loved in my life. I'd expect that. Maybe, I'd even deserve it."
Rafe recognized in Abby something so similar to himself at that moment. She took on responsibility for everything that happened to those she loved. He understood it because he did the same thing himself.
Tears began to fall from her eyes but she barely noticed. She needed to say this last thing and then she would go.
"Rafe, just - just don't be a hypocrite. Don't punish me - or Alison - because I did something that you decided once before to do yourself. You thought Caleb would be turned when you asked him to free you from Joshua's. You helped make that possible and you did it to save Alison. What I did - telling them where the antidote is to get him to help me save her, well - it's the exact same thing."
As he heard Abby's words Rafe was wracked with guilt, his anger at her drained away. She was right. It was. It was exactly the same.
Tears streaming down her face, Abby took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes as she turned to walk away.
"Abby. Stop."
Abby turned back and looked up at Rafe. As she did - her eyes met his.
Oh God. Rafe almost cried himself as he looked at her. Without her glasses, Abby was nearly a carbon copy of Alison. Her hair was darker, her eyes were bluer, but the resemblance was remarkable. Abby was a bit older and they only shared one parent - but that was the only thing that kept them from nearly being twins.
"Look at you. You look just like her."
"What?" Abby was confused.
"Without your glasses - without them - Abby, you and Alison - you could almost be twins."
"What?" she asked - not believing him at all. She knew exactly what Alison looked like. She was stunningly beautiful. Abby knew that she herself was mousy and plain, a four-eyed bookworm. Rafe must just be missing Alison so desperately he'd begun to see things.
"You do - you look so much like her. Believe me, I'd know."
Suddenly uncomfortable with what she viewed as a huge compliment, Abby put her glasses back on. "Well. Thank you. I'm still not sure you're right, but that's really sweet of you to say." She stared at him for a minute and realized he hadn't asked her to stay. She had to go.
She cleared her throat and began to say her goodbye, "Rafe. It was really great getting to meet you. I'm glad I could help for as long as I did. But, I guess I'm not helping anymore - so it's time for me to go now. Just be careful, OK? Please - take care of yourself, and my sister. You're both so, so lucky to have each other. I hope I'll see you again someday soon."
Before she could even take a step to walk away, Rafe moved in front of her, blocking her path.
"Forget it." He said "You're not going anywhere."
Abby was once again confused, "I thought you said."
"No. You're right. I did do the same thing. As much as it kills me to admit it, I did trust Caleb and was going allow him to be turned. The fact that Joshua stopped him doesn't change the fact that I stood by and watched as he intended to do just that. It is the same exact thing that you did and I did it - only to save Alison. Just because it didn't happen then doesn't mean I didn't allow it or help make it happen myself."
As much as she had meant what she'd said, that she truly would have left if he wanted her to - she was so relieved. She was so glad that she was able to get through to him - but wanted him to be absolutely sure. "Rafe, are you sure you still want my help? You're sure don't want me to leave? If you do, I'd understand, really I would."
"I told you. You're not going anywhere." His words were soft, but they sounded like more a threat.
Abby wasn't sure this was the right time to bring it up, but she couldn't help it. He was starting to annoy her.
"OK. I'll stay. But just so you understand - it's not because you're ordering me to. Does Alison really get you away with this?" she asked.
"With what?" Rafe asked, not really comprehending what she was saying.
"Ordering her around like that. It's noble and quite romantic that you're always trying to protect her - but if you speak to her anywhere near the way you're speaking to me now I hope she gives you hell for it."
Rafe couldn't help but smile a bit. "She does. Every time."
"Good. I'm glad to hear it. So you'll come with me? To go meet with Caleb?"
"If I have to." He agreed, not sounding at all pleased at the thought.
"Don't make me take my glasses off and ask you." Abby said. She gave him a little grin, despite the fact that they had so much work left to do. Their fight - really - had just begun.
"I would have never said anything about that if I knew you were going to use it against me." Rafe said, shaking his head.
"I don't really think it would work anyway. I guess I might look a bit like her - but one thing's for sure - there's only one Alison."
"Yeah." He whispered, his heart aching as he thought of Alison now. How scared she must be. He needed to save her and if that meant teaming up with Caleb, so be it. She was all that mattered. She was all that ever mattered.
Abby watched the change come over Rafe at the mere sound of Alison's name. His love for her was so strong; it visibly hung in the air around him. She took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "OK. So let's go get her."