Chapter Forty-four
Home.
Rafe carried Alison in, kissing her once more as he stepped across the threshold. They were finally together again, and back where they both belonged. Alison leaned away to get a good look at him, barely able to believe it. It was finally over.
It was strange to be back here after all that had happened, Alison thought as Rafe set her gently on her feet. Though they had just talked through so much and had ended up having an argument that made everything seem like it was back to "normal" - though she'd just received the happy news that her sister was here, the reality of what had really just happened finally hit her.
She shivered thinking how close she had come to never seeing this place again - to never seeing Rafe again.
Alison continued to look around their apartment and then down at the gown she wore, which was now stained and tattered and torn. The memories came flooding back. She felt filthy, remembering Joshua's hands on her, hearing again in her mind the words he spoke, recalling the feel of his breath on her skin. For the second time in a few short weeks she wanted nothing more than to be wearing anything else than something he had chosen for her. She hugged her arms around herself and shivered. Even though she knew she was safe, she didn't know how she'd ever feel like herself again.
As he stared down at her, Rafe seemed to read her thoughts. He took her hand and led her to the bed, urging her to sit down. As he did she reached for him, but he simply placed a kiss on her hand, then let it go and walked away - disappearing behind the door leading to the bathroom. Minutes later, she heard the sound of water running. He came back to her and picked her up, carrying her inside. Alison's eyes filled with tears. Rafe constantly amazed her. He always knew exactly what to do to make her feel better. As he put her down, he leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead. Hanging her favorite nightgown on the hook next to the bath he eased out the door, shutting it gently behind him.
The door clicked closed, and as it did Rafe finally let his face fall. He didn't want her to see just how scared he had been. Every other time he had felt this way, it was because he thought he was leaving her. When they first met, and when Lucy tried to kill Caleb this last time it was because he thought he would have to go back where he came from. Since he'd been back to stay, it was usually because he knew he'd be the one in danger and as a result, there was always a chance he may not make it back home.
Rafe sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. The fact that he'd almost lost her, the fact that she'd tried to fight that monster alone finally registering and nearly slapping him in the face.
For the first time, he had a real taste of what it would feel like for her to be the one to leave him. He didn't like it one bit. Rafe's mind continued to race as the thoughts he'd been fighting came crawling back into his head. He had yet to really talk to Alison about the horrible things Joshua could have done to her. He knew Joshua had scared her and threatened her, but the fact was she had been there for days. He could have..Rafe shook his head, trying to get rid of the horrible images he had in his mind now. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't really want to know, but he knew he would never be able to rest until he asked.
Whatever had really happened, they would get through it. She would be able to get through anything. He was even surer of that now. She was amazing. She was incredible. She was truly insane if she thought he'd ever let her take such a chance again. She was the reason he was alive. She was the reason he'd been sent back here.
His angel. His Alison.
Rafe hadn't even realized he'd spoken her name. When he looked up she saw her standing before him he nearly thought it was a dream. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He could look at her for the rest of his life, and he intended to do just that.
Alison lifted the hem of her nightgown and sank the ground, kneeling so that her eyes were level with his.
"Rafe? Are you alright?" she asked, her voice a near whisper. She gazed into his eyes as her fingers pushed a stray lock of his hair off his forehead.
"I'm fine." He said then, looking down at his hands. He remembered how hours earlier, he'd used them to kill Joshua. They still shook slightly, as he continued to realize just how close this latest call actually was.
"Rafe?" she asked, knowing just the opposite of what he said was true.
Alison leaned in and put her arms around him, holding him close. He pulled her closer still. She leaned into his embrace.
She could feel him shaking. She knew just how he felt. They had nearly lost each other - again and as hard as it was to believe, of all the things they had been through this - in many ways- this had been the worst of all.
Alison felt him pull away as his hands moved to her hair, still damp from her bath. "You need to rest." He said the words like an order.
"I'm OK." She replied.
"Alison. You've been through a lot in the past few hours, in the past few weeks." Rafe's mind raced as he thought again of the danger she had just been in. "In the last few hours I watched you collapse, twice. You are the bravest person I've ever known, but you're exhausted."
"Oh, and you're wide awake?" she asked, knowing the same could be said for him.
"Alison. Please. Don't argue with me." Rafe took her hands and pulled her up off the floor. He scooped her up in his arms and laid her down in the center of the bed.
"I'm not arguing." She replied. "But Rafe, really, I don't think I can sleep."
"Try." He said as he kissed her quickly and then began to move away.
"No, Rafe. Don't." she reached out and grabbed his hand, clutching it tightly, bringing him back to her.
He sat on the edge of the bed as he pleaded with her. "Alison. Please. You need to get some sleep."
"I will. There's one thing I need before I do."
He'd get her whatever she needed if it would finally get her to rest. "What? Are you cold? Do you want another blanket?"
"No. Rafe." She said with a sigh. "I want you."
He just looked at her then, with pain in his eyes.
Alison could see he was scared. She knew him so well, she could tell what he was thinking. Rafe was afraid of what had happened to her while Joshua had held her captive. She could see that Rafe was blaming himself. He had to stop doing that. He had saved her, just as he always had - in more ways than one. She decided that this would be the best way to show him.
"I do. I need you. I need you to make me forget. Rafe, I know that you're trying so hard not to ask me what you really want to know."
"No. It's OK - don't.." He didn't want to hurt her anymore than she'd already been, he wanted her to begin to forget.
She placed a finger to his lips, urging him to be quiet as she continued. "He hurt me, Rafe - but not how you think. I'm fine. I'm better than fine, especially now that I'm home. The worst thing by far was that he gave me no choice but to hurt you, making me say things that I never thought I would to keep you safe. I almost became someone else, someone I didn't even recognize."
Alison looked into his eyes and asked him once more, "Please, Rafe. I need you to make me remember what it feels like to be myself again."
"Alison." He leaned closer, his lips inches away from hers.
"Only you can," she whispered against them. "Just you."
She pulled him to her, capturing his lips with hers. The moment she felt him kiss her back the thoughts of the ordeal she'd just been through melted away and turned into nothing. She held on tight as she kissed every inch of his face, the line of his jaw, his temple, and the cute little dimple on his cheek.
He pulled back a bit and looked at her, as he did she felt his hands on her skin. His touch was so gentle it was as if he thought she was a piece of precious china or crystal, like she'd shatter if he got too close. She wouldn't have it. Alison was desperate for him, her hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. Her fingers then moved to the buttons, quickly undoing each and slipping the shirt off his shoulders. Her hands roamed over his skin, and she was thrilled as she watched how he shivered at her touch.
He was so warm, Alison thought. She knew that it wasn't because it was summer. Even in the dead of winter he could be so incredibly warm. As always when they were together like this, she ached to feel his skin against hers. She lie back on the bed and pulled him down with her, loving the feel of his weight on her as he covered her body with his. Her arms closed around him, her fingernails gently scoring down his back. She sighed and deepened their kiss.
Minute by minute, Rafe was finally starting to believe her. Everything would be OK, she was safe, Joshua had tried but he didn't hurt her enough to take her away from him. Though he was so relieved to know what he was beginning to realize was true, he never, ever wanted the feelings he'd just had to return. Rafe would never let her get near that much danger again.
Alison could feel him start to relax. Tearing her mouth from his, she moved her lips to his shoulder and placed soft kisses across the smooth skin of his chest. As she felt his arms tighten around her she realized once more that they were so strong. His arms were always there to catch her, to hold her up, and to keep her safe. He was her hero. He was always coming to her rescue, never thinking twice about how much danger he himself was in. She needed Rafe to know how much she appreciated all he did for her. She needed him to feel how grateful she was to have him.
She looked deeply into his eyes, seeing her love for him reflected back at her in his. This is all she ever wanted. Just this. Just him.
As his lips moved to her shoulder, he caught the strap of her nightgown between in his teeth eased it down, exposing more of her soft, smooth skin in the process. Rafe placed a kiss where the strap used to lay, and she could feel him smile against her skin as he moved his mouth up the column of her throat, his soft, sweet kisses tickling her neck and making her smile herself. When he reached her face he looked into her eyes as he said softly, "I love you, Alison."
Alison knew that it was working. As always, when they were together like this nothing else mattered. It was as if they were the only two people in the world.
"and I love you," she said with a sigh, bringing her hand up to his face, touching his cheek. He covered her lips with his once again, kissing her thoroughly and leaving her breathless.
Alison had wanted to say something more, but couldn't remember what it was at the moment. Just as she knew it would, being here like this quickly had made her forget anything else but him.
As always, Rafe made all her wishes come true.
Home.
Rafe carried Alison in, kissing her once more as he stepped across the threshold. They were finally together again, and back where they both belonged. Alison leaned away to get a good look at him, barely able to believe it. It was finally over.
It was strange to be back here after all that had happened, Alison thought as Rafe set her gently on her feet. Though they had just talked through so much and had ended up having an argument that made everything seem like it was back to "normal" - though she'd just received the happy news that her sister was here, the reality of what had really just happened finally hit her.
She shivered thinking how close she had come to never seeing this place again - to never seeing Rafe again.
Alison continued to look around their apartment and then down at the gown she wore, which was now stained and tattered and torn. The memories came flooding back. She felt filthy, remembering Joshua's hands on her, hearing again in her mind the words he spoke, recalling the feel of his breath on her skin. For the second time in a few short weeks she wanted nothing more than to be wearing anything else than something he had chosen for her. She hugged her arms around herself and shivered. Even though she knew she was safe, she didn't know how she'd ever feel like herself again.
As he stared down at her, Rafe seemed to read her thoughts. He took her hand and led her to the bed, urging her to sit down. As he did she reached for him, but he simply placed a kiss on her hand, then let it go and walked away - disappearing behind the door leading to the bathroom. Minutes later, she heard the sound of water running. He came back to her and picked her up, carrying her inside. Alison's eyes filled with tears. Rafe constantly amazed her. He always knew exactly what to do to make her feel better. As he put her down, he leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on her forehead. Hanging her favorite nightgown on the hook next to the bath he eased out the door, shutting it gently behind him.
The door clicked closed, and as it did Rafe finally let his face fall. He didn't want her to see just how scared he had been. Every other time he had felt this way, it was because he thought he was leaving her. When they first met, and when Lucy tried to kill Caleb this last time it was because he thought he would have to go back where he came from. Since he'd been back to stay, it was usually because he knew he'd be the one in danger and as a result, there was always a chance he may not make it back home.
Rafe sat on the edge of the bed and held his head in his hands. The fact that he'd almost lost her, the fact that she'd tried to fight that monster alone finally registering and nearly slapping him in the face.
For the first time, he had a real taste of what it would feel like for her to be the one to leave him. He didn't like it one bit. Rafe's mind continued to race as the thoughts he'd been fighting came crawling back into his head. He had yet to really talk to Alison about the horrible things Joshua could have done to her. He knew Joshua had scared her and threatened her, but the fact was she had been there for days. He could have..Rafe shook his head, trying to get rid of the horrible images he had in his mind now. He didn't want to think about it, he didn't really want to know, but he knew he would never be able to rest until he asked.
Whatever had really happened, they would get through it. She would be able to get through anything. He was even surer of that now. She was amazing. She was incredible. She was truly insane if she thought he'd ever let her take such a chance again. She was the reason he was alive. She was the reason he'd been sent back here.
His angel. His Alison.
Rafe hadn't even realized he'd spoken her name. When he looked up she saw her standing before him he nearly thought it was a dream. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on. He could look at her for the rest of his life, and he intended to do just that.
Alison lifted the hem of her nightgown and sank the ground, kneeling so that her eyes were level with his.
"Rafe? Are you alright?" she asked, her voice a near whisper. She gazed into his eyes as her fingers pushed a stray lock of his hair off his forehead.
"I'm fine." He said then, looking down at his hands. He remembered how hours earlier, he'd used them to kill Joshua. They still shook slightly, as he continued to realize just how close this latest call actually was.
"Rafe?" she asked, knowing just the opposite of what he said was true.
Alison leaned in and put her arms around him, holding him close. He pulled her closer still. She leaned into his embrace.
She could feel him shaking. She knew just how he felt. They had nearly lost each other - again and as hard as it was to believe, of all the things they had been through this - in many ways- this had been the worst of all.
Alison felt him pull away as his hands moved to her hair, still damp from her bath. "You need to rest." He said the words like an order.
"I'm OK." She replied.
"Alison. You've been through a lot in the past few hours, in the past few weeks." Rafe's mind raced as he thought again of the danger she had just been in. "In the last few hours I watched you collapse, twice. You are the bravest person I've ever known, but you're exhausted."
"Oh, and you're wide awake?" she asked, knowing the same could be said for him.
"Alison. Please. Don't argue with me." Rafe took her hands and pulled her up off the floor. He scooped her up in his arms and laid her down in the center of the bed.
"I'm not arguing." She replied. "But Rafe, really, I don't think I can sleep."
"Try." He said as he kissed her quickly and then began to move away.
"No, Rafe. Don't." she reached out and grabbed his hand, clutching it tightly, bringing him back to her.
He sat on the edge of the bed as he pleaded with her. "Alison. Please. You need to get some sleep."
"I will. There's one thing I need before I do."
He'd get her whatever she needed if it would finally get her to rest. "What? Are you cold? Do you want another blanket?"
"No. Rafe." She said with a sigh. "I want you."
He just looked at her then, with pain in his eyes.
Alison could see he was scared. She knew him so well, she could tell what he was thinking. Rafe was afraid of what had happened to her while Joshua had held her captive. She could see that Rafe was blaming himself. He had to stop doing that. He had saved her, just as he always had - in more ways than one. She decided that this would be the best way to show him.
"I do. I need you. I need you to make me forget. Rafe, I know that you're trying so hard not to ask me what you really want to know."
"No. It's OK - don't.." He didn't want to hurt her anymore than she'd already been, he wanted her to begin to forget.
She placed a finger to his lips, urging him to be quiet as she continued. "He hurt me, Rafe - but not how you think. I'm fine. I'm better than fine, especially now that I'm home. The worst thing by far was that he gave me no choice but to hurt you, making me say things that I never thought I would to keep you safe. I almost became someone else, someone I didn't even recognize."
Alison looked into his eyes and asked him once more, "Please, Rafe. I need you to make me remember what it feels like to be myself again."
"Alison." He leaned closer, his lips inches away from hers.
"Only you can," she whispered against them. "Just you."
She pulled him to her, capturing his lips with hers. The moment she felt him kiss her back the thoughts of the ordeal she'd just been through melted away and turned into nothing. She held on tight as she kissed every inch of his face, the line of his jaw, his temple, and the cute little dimple on his cheek.
He pulled back a bit and looked at her, as he did she felt his hands on her skin. His touch was so gentle it was as if he thought she was a piece of precious china or crystal, like she'd shatter if he got too close. She wouldn't have it. Alison was desperate for him, her hands fisted into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. Her fingers then moved to the buttons, quickly undoing each and slipping the shirt off his shoulders. Her hands roamed over his skin, and she was thrilled as she watched how he shivered at her touch.
He was so warm, Alison thought. She knew that it wasn't because it was summer. Even in the dead of winter he could be so incredibly warm. As always when they were together like this, she ached to feel his skin against hers. She lie back on the bed and pulled him down with her, loving the feel of his weight on her as he covered her body with his. Her arms closed around him, her fingernails gently scoring down his back. She sighed and deepened their kiss.
Minute by minute, Rafe was finally starting to believe her. Everything would be OK, she was safe, Joshua had tried but he didn't hurt her enough to take her away from him. Though he was so relieved to know what he was beginning to realize was true, he never, ever wanted the feelings he'd just had to return. Rafe would never let her get near that much danger again.
Alison could feel him start to relax. Tearing her mouth from his, she moved her lips to his shoulder and placed soft kisses across the smooth skin of his chest. As she felt his arms tighten around her she realized once more that they were so strong. His arms were always there to catch her, to hold her up, and to keep her safe. He was her hero. He was always coming to her rescue, never thinking twice about how much danger he himself was in. She needed Rafe to know how much she appreciated all he did for her. She needed him to feel how grateful she was to have him.
She looked deeply into his eyes, seeing her love for him reflected back at her in his. This is all she ever wanted. Just this. Just him.
As his lips moved to her shoulder, he caught the strap of her nightgown between in his teeth eased it down, exposing more of her soft, smooth skin in the process. Rafe placed a kiss where the strap used to lay, and she could feel him smile against her skin as he moved his mouth up the column of her throat, his soft, sweet kisses tickling her neck and making her smile herself. When he reached her face he looked into her eyes as he said softly, "I love you, Alison."
Alison knew that it was working. As always, when they were together like this nothing else mattered. It was as if they were the only two people in the world.
"and I love you," she said with a sigh, bringing her hand up to his face, touching his cheek. He covered her lips with his once again, kissing her thoroughly and leaving her breathless.
Alison had wanted to say something more, but couldn't remember what it was at the moment. Just as she knew it would, being here like this quickly had made her forget anything else but him.
As always, Rafe made all her wishes come true.