g*===*===*===*===*
Stigmatize - 1. To characterize as disgraceful; brand. 2. To mark with stigma
-------- Stigma - 1. A mark or token of infamy or disgrace.
While this describes Yami Bakura, the title is also mocking the authoress. It is my feel at this story so far if it represented me. Lots of love, eh? Go look up infamy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh to the surprise of none, neh? I do own my fic ideas and the notebooks and computer files I save them in.
COMMENTS & THANKS:
ASIAN ANGEL 12: Your first question, I'm not sure if they will get back together. I have up till the end of the eighth chapter down in my notebooks. You find out were Ryou crashes this chapter. Malik will be stating his opinion about the Yami Ryou Bakura to Ryou in the sixth chapter if I don't change my mind. You find out what Yami Ryou Bakura thinks in the next chapter. There, questions answered with no plot revealed. Go me!
C AND L CRYSTAL BLUE FLAME: Yay! Everything was good. It's all good.
JULIE: You like it? All right!
NO NAME: Yes, we have a Ryou cheerleader! I knew he was missing something!
ITSAME: Don't worry, eh, I don't have much of a life outside the shell either. I am always writing fics, lyrics, or poems. Hehe. my friends [wow, I have friends?] always say I'm quiet. But they also say I freak them out so.
_________: You can't believe I did what? Made Ryou run away? I'm guessing whatever I did worked *very* well. Sorry if I took a great idea [just wish I knew which great idea.] Since I don't know what it is, I guess I can top it.
LITA: I will type more just for you, eh? I will write [and type] tonnes more! Whether I publish it is up to reviewers.
GUESS: Don't worry. This chapter has WAY more words than lyrics. I'm really into the whole descriptive paragraph thing. You don't even have to read the song part. It's just to let readers know what sentimental [huh???] songs inspired this fic.
CETTIE-GIRL: I'm finally in your favs! That makes a total of 5 people who like T.E.L. and my writing so much as to do that! ".shattered into millions on pieces, like the wine glasses." Well, your review was well written, too.
NONAME: Wow, my story is like Maxwell House Coffee [which I do not own] "Good to the last drop!" I wonder if there is a sexy heart. Of course, who would be attracted to a large pumping muscle, I mean, they're great to have [Don't know how I live with out one ^_^] but I'm not ready to call one sexy. But then, I guess it's true when people say everything about that blonde hair Egyptian is hot. Were does and Egyptian learn 'bloody hell'? Wash your mouth out Malik!
PANDORA: Dang, I never heard that song. What type of music is that? I listen to classic, pop, alternative, soft, and hard versions of rock. I'm a music freak and now I want to hear that song. Now you're gonna have me looking for that whenever I have free time. Go ahead, do a victory dance [preferably after you finish reading this INCREDIBLY LONG CHAPTER!!!!]
TAMMO: I think it rocks too!
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THIS CHAPTER IS LONG! This is why it took me soo long to type it all. In Arial on Microsoft Word it's 12 pages and descriptive.
I PROMISE ALL YOU READERS, this is way more words that lyrics. You don't even have to read the song part. If you do, I do not own The Calling, nor do I own the CD I got it from. I just like the acoustics in the intro. I'll be doing this till my parents give me MY music back.
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Stigmatize
Chapter 3: Emotional Shifts
The trick was to go somewhere his Dark would never look unless the universe was blown apart with and only that certain area left. Somewhere a guitar wouldn't look suspicious would also help.
As Ryou walked down the streets, he noticed the city's nightlife had begun to divide and conquer all the clubs, bars, and casinos. He'd passed many groups of people varying in appearance, but all having the same basic motive. Though there were the sleazy, the gothic, and the real classy type you never thought would leave their big houses, all headed for mostly the same locations for a good time. The boy tried to avoid them, staying close to buildings, and creeping past. This was justified by the fact that some of the parties were stoned for life and as drunk as dogs, not being predictable and outside the confines of daily reason.
Ryou soon reached the game shop a certain Yuugi Motou lived above. He stood next to it, trying to think. The idea of him going to any of his friends was way too obvious, but right now he needed a backrest. The time through the shop window was only ten. Like on of the partygoers would say, "The night was still young". Ryou leaned his head against the wall and slid down till he was sitting on the rough concrete, his hand still holding the guitar.
Ryou wondered where a Yami would not look for a Hikari. Another group passed by as he got an idea. He could stay at some dance club. His Dark would never check there. Next day he would go to a friends' the Fiend had already gone so many times as to give up on it.
The boy got up and followed a random group around. All of the occupants were too caught up in their own conversations and the like to notice the pale-faced shadow they had picked up passing the corner. They walked several blocks and Ryou was soon lost. Finally, the party reached some desired dance hall and entered, the child going in as well. Having an air of someone considerably above his real age made the boy almost look older, causing very few suspicious glances. Still, he stayed close to the wall with his instrument in an iron grasp, maneuvering past the cluttered tables and chairs with surprising ease. Wearily, he entered a side alcove that smelled faintly of smoke. The aroma didn't bother him, as he put his guitar case down protectively at his feet.
Some guy was soon in with a tray,
"You want anythin', man?" he asked.
"Not unless you have bottled water with the seal still intact." Ryou sighed, annoyed at how servers just tended to pop up out of nowhere.
"Well, not on me," the man informed him, "but I'll go get some."
"No-- " Ryou started as the guy left, not waiting for a reply, "- thank.you..."
Ryou shrugged. Wasn't his fault the server didn't heard him. Slowly he closed his eyes and leaned back, listening to the rhythmic dance music. He didn't have a real plan for what to do when the club closed. Right now he was just confused. He sighed and put his head in his hand wearily. The corners above his eyes throbbed dully with a sentencing pang at each beat of the music's quick tempo. In his mind's eye he could see the Spirit of the Ring. He could imagine only the look of confusion that his outburst had caused. His Dark had not been distraught at his Hikari's words, only pondering at what the Hell was up with the boy. He probably only thought Ryou was crazy or having some emotionally overcome fit, like a little child who wanted to know why he couldn't go with an older sibling to a violent movie at the local cinema. This thought only made the boy's stress headache worse, as he massaged his temples with the hand he'd rest his heavy, tired head on. He was stirred out of his musings by a tap on the shoulder.
Ryou opened his eyes, expecting to see the damnable server. He was surprised to see he was looking at two girls. They giggled good-naturally at his alarm.
"Um, good--good evening," he stuttered, sitting up straight.
"Hey, boy," said one, a blonde with too much purple eye shadow, "We haven't seen you around here before. What's your name, cutie?"
"Ryou, my name is, Ryou," he replied nervously. This really wasn't his time to be talking to people.
"Ryou? Oooo, tight name," the other crooned, such a fiery redhead that Ryou could see it was fake.
"Well," continued the blonde, "My name is Selina, and this here next to me is Adrienne. Our friends are all dancing right now. We both saw ya comin' in and decided to say hi."
"I'm, uh, pleased to make your acquaintance," he lied, not sure what to make of the pair.
This caused Adrienne make a sound that sounded like a squeal, "Wow, you're soo charming!"
Ryou blushed at this. He was just being polite. He fidgeted with the handle of his guitar case nervously.
"Oh, my, God! Do you, like, play?" Selina asked.
"Uh, a bit," he muttered humbly and shrugged, "Good enough for a bit more than a year, I suppose."
"Man, it would be soo cool if you could, like, sing. Can you sing?" Adrienne asked.
"Sure," he shrugged, "I can hold a note, but I'm not great like others you hear."
"How would we know till we like, heard fo' ourselves?" Adrienne asked, to Ryou's annoyance. "Sing something!" she commanded laughingly.
Ryou blushed yet again. Why would he sing there? He decided the ground was very interesting suddenly, and tried to tell them there was to much noise. All that came out was some random mumbling. He slammed himself mentally, thinking his Dark would never stand him acting so weak and scared in front of the opposite sex. His Yami was very bias on the idea that men were better than women and had always told Ryou he was too feminine for a male.
"Awe, he's bashful!" Selina piped to her partner in crime, "How sweet."
This didn't help Ryou's mood at all. His face was redder in seconds. Why were the girls acting so airy? Their behavior confused him as his headache came around again. [AN: Ya'll, he's a guy who isn't interested in girls, uncalled for by me to make him talk with some, yes, how is he to know they like him? He just ran out on his Yami!]
"Hey, Cutie," Selina said leaning over the table. Ryou was slightly aware this was to be his name to the two girls and any friends the introduced him to. "Wanna dance? My most favorite song is like, playing."
Ryou pushed himself back slightly, "I don't think."
"Awe, come on, it will be fun!" Adrienne squeaked eccentrically, clapping her hands with excitement.
"I don't doubt it would be, uh, enjoyable." they squealed at his word phrasing, ".under normal circumstances, but not right now." He replied while thinking back to his Yami.
Ryou was shocked at how fast the faces were changed from energetic joy, to genuine understanding and concern.
"Don't say anymore," commanded Selina holding her hand up. Ryou felt slightly offended at the gesture but didn't respond. This wasn't any better that when the two were bouncing off the wall.
"We see," Selina continued, "You were, like, hurt emotionally and want to sort yourself out here. That person must only have half a soul to not think you're such a good catch."
Ryou winched at this and looked down sadly. The Yami was half of his soul, though he couldn't say the same for the Spirit.
"Don't worry," Adrienne added, "We think you're a really sweet guy, Ryou. That person doesn't know what the Hell they are losing."
Ryou sighed. His Dark hadn't completely lost his Hikari yet. Ryou knew he still loved his other side.
"You really deserve much better than them, if they, like, don't care how you feel. There are lots of people out there who would give ANYTHING to have a guy like you, nice, polite, modest, and a guitar player, which is like, a bonus." Selina added.
Ryou just nodded glumly. This really wasn't helping.
"Thanks," he lied with a false tone of one who's been encouraged. He convincingly acted like he'd had a sudden revelation in his next words, "I'm gonna try not to think about it now. I'll just worry about were I'm going to stay tonight and if I have any cash."
"Okay, Ryou!" Selina rejoiced, "Well, now I'm gonna go out and get my night's worth of dancing done. Come on, Adri," she turned to her friend, "Brad and Gabe are sitting at the corner over there."
Ryou sighed with relief as the two FINALLY left. Before he could relax though, the waiter was back with water.
"Dude," he said, "Who are ya lucky, talkin to dem broads?"
Ryou blinked trying to decipher what the guy had just said. Was that a threat or a compliment?
"Dey were so over ya. Why did cha let em' go like dat?" he asked.
Ryou opened the bottle and sniffed its contents, making a disgusted face.
"Dey are tens, man. Babes!" the guy exclaimed.
"Uh, what?" Ryou looked at the two girls on the dance floor and shrugged, "Um, yeah, sorta, I guess..."
Ryou didn't have a big opinion on the opposite sex He supposed the two could be considered attractive, but he'd never looked at them that way during the conversation.
"Dude, it's easy ta see, ya can't jus' guess they're hot. Ya know dey are, unless you're, like, gay or somethin'." he laughed.
Ryou smirked. "I think you very handsome as well," he lied.
"Oh, my God, man, you're, like, a queer?" the guy asked surprised.
Ryou just smiled at him like he was a complete idiot of a waiter.
"So ya like, you know, with. like, othuh guys?" he said.
Ryou had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.
"Awe, god!" the guy exclaimed. "Don't look at me, Fag." He said.
The guy hurried out to Ryou's relief and great amusement. The boy threw his bottled water after him. Moron. Finally, he was alone to think.
All Ryou could focus on was his Yami. What was the Spirit doing? Was he looking for his Hikari, or was he indulging himself with Malik?
A surge of anger surged through the boy as his thoughts hit the blonde haired Egyptian. Malik had been his _friend_, but he'd ripped up Ryou's heart and shot him through the head coming to the house to 'spend the night' with the Spirit of the Ring. Ryou knew Malik no longer had a Dark of his own, but still. What the other boy did was painful and very uncalled for.
Ryou's turning emotions took over. His wrath was soon overcome by a wave of deep sorrow and remorse. The boy felt his stomach do a dive into inexistence, and had the slight urge to throw up. Why did his Dark had to use him like a puppet? Was the child's mortal heart, not immortal like the soul, just some toy he could play with and put away to the Fiend? If so, the pleasure item was broken every time the greedy hands touched it; broken until it was far beyond repair. Ryou knew he would never be the same after his Yami's treatment. Even if he never saw the Fiend again, memories would always be there, haunting his existence.
The pain Ryou'd carry in his heart leaving, wouldn't drown how much he'd loved his Dark. He always had since some time he couldn't recall, and had enjoyed the moments when it seemed the Spirit cared even a slight bit. Those times when both wanted the others company for more than conversation or, in one's case, anger management. Ryou knew he'd begun to live for those moments, which suddenly became few and far between.
But like everything else with the Fiend, those times lost pleasantness. They became yet another form of brutal torture. Ryou had slowly started noticing everything he'd lost to the Spirit of the Ring: his will, his freedom, his innocence, his soul. All he'd earned was the compassion of others and a silence as the jaded observer of lives around him; better lives, with reasons to exist. His own life was only to aid a daemonic Tomb Robber in his egocentric quest for world domination. That wasn't much to live for since nobody wanted to be ruled by his Dark. It was, in ways, a lost cause.
The discovery of a new love interest had caused the boy to panic. He'd retaliated the only way he'd known; run and hide. Ryou had tried to avoid what was causing the hurt entirely since he couldn't block it out. Ergo, he ran out on the Tomb Robber to some random nightclub.
Ryou didn't get it, he'd given his Dark so much; another soul to live off of, an existence outside the Shadow Realm, a modern place he could stay at while plotting the position of all seven Millennium Items. He'd even given him his own frail body for the torture of the Fiend's emotions. Angry, he had hurt Ryou; sad, he'd try to get some kind of comfort; playful, bored, or feeling compassionate, all these moods had influence his treatment of the boy, till he used all it up on the Light. Thus, ensuring he could face the world without them seeing he was as human as the child that was his host. No, he was the impenetrable Yami Ryou Bakura, above the realm of everything human!
Ryou's emotions did another shift in gear, accelerating over his depression and longing with burning enmity. He tried to convince himself he loathed his Dark and would never forgive him. He beat an angry tattoo against the leather-enforced cardboard of his guitar case. The instrument inside hummed lightly at the vibrations. No, he wasn't sad, he hated the Fiend; hated him with all that was left of his heart and soul. He repeated this to himself over and over.
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AUTORESS NOTE: Okay, this is the proof of what I've been listening to. You could skip this and not be in the dark at all on this story. Just jump to the other design thing separating sections. I know some people hate song fics, so I don't use them often. I couldn't decide what to do with these paragraphs that I'd typed; to put it in or leave it out, so I reached this happy medium. Okay? Happy! ^_^
If he had been contemplating all this in his room, Ryou would have taken the old acoustic 6-string from it's battered case and played it like he pleased. But he wasn't and knew it would make a scene if he took it out now. Ryou had made and memorized many of his own harmonizing tunes before. He always told himself he would add words to them later on, but usually never found time. Vice versa, he had many lyrics written and under construction that he hadn't really put much of a tempo onto past the rhythmic flow.
Joyful to be thinking of something else other than the Spirit, Ryou started to put some words to the little ditties. Since he wouldn't play guitar at the moment, he'd just have to make words instead on notes. [AN: Words are on letter-like-get-in-trouble-for-passing-them-in-class-notes, Ryou!]
Suddenly, a flow hit him. Ryou kicked himself when realized it was about the Fiend, but it was still a rather good inspiration. Taking a pen from his pocket and a napkin from across the table, he began to write. He stressed the words with his anger and recent thought flow. How he'd understood his Dark's meaningless comforting and how the Spirit had used him. He took the pen and began forming the words on paper, keeping the time subconsciously with his foot.
*I've been thinking about you, my love,
And all the crazy things that you put me through.
Now I'm comin around, and throwin it back to you.
Where you thinking of me, when you kissed him?
Could you taste me when you licked his skin?
And all the while I showered you with trust and promises.
What I'm needin now's some sweet revenge,
To get back all that I lost then,
I gave you all I had to give, but I could never reach you. *
Ryou paused. Now here was a flaw; Spirit of the Ring didn't fit his tempo, nor did it make sense. It sound lame to carry Yami, Dark, or Spirit for so long a measure. It came down to whether or not he wanted other people to see his writing. It would have to make sense if so.
Well, since you could never be too careful, he decided it had to have a reasonable word that fit. He needed a name, preferably female. Anuz, no; Mai, no; and those were the two girls he knew. Sad really, he didn't know many others, and barely knew the two he'd thought of. His eyes drifted lazily to the dance floor. Selina almost fit, except for the dull sounding -ah at the end. He chose another one randomly.
*Adrienne, I thought I knew you.
Once again, you used me, used me.
Adrienne, I should have left you.
Long before, you used me, used me up. *
Adrienne was long name, but good for the speed and flow. She was also, truthfully, the most annoying person Ryou had ever meant, making him able to stress his resentment of her through the song. He decided it was good enough, and kept going.
*Spent my money, drove my car,
I treated you like a shinin star,
But all burnt up, in my sky, you are.
But I'll have the last, laugh, when I see you walkin that other guy.
Cause I know you're gonna end up all alone.
So take these words, some good advice,
All you done's gonna come back twice.
You never cared how much it hurt; I really need to tell you. *
Ryou was soon stressing words with underlines, stars, and letter sizes that made no sense to anybody but him, as he started to wrap it up. He put down the chorus two more times with the ending of the first verse between.
"There," he sighed, marking the date and location. He turned the napkin over and scribbled down some letters of the cords down. Therefore, when he found it later, it would be easy to get to get the tempo and range he'd written to back.
*===*===*===*===*
Ryou tried to think of other things for the next 20 minutes. All that entered his mind other than his Yami was sleep. Slowly the boy drifted in and out of reality as he heard the clubs music get slower and slower. He opened his eyes when some one leaned heavily on the table. Selina had returned. Ryou held back a mournful sigh.
"Wow, Cutie, you're still here? I'd thought someone like you wouldn't stay at a club till closing time."
Ryou resisted the urge to bolt. He shrugged casually, "It's not like I have anywhere else to go, really."
She nodded. It was almost funny to the boy how serious the expression was on her make-up caked face and ditzy blonde style.
"I see," she said, "That half-brain who dumped you is, like, were you live."
He covered his grimace with a deep nod of agreement.
"Well, listen to this," she said, looking at the group she'd been hanging out with, "I'm gonna like, get you some place to stay for a while. You're a sweet guy, Ryou, and I can't have you and your manners wasting away, like, in a street or something."
Ryou seriously wished he hadn't been so nice. "Will it bother them?" he asked politely. (Always so polite!)
"Not a bit, I'm sure. These guys are great," she motioned to the males she'd been hanging out with. "They'd do anything for me or a good cause. You're a situation of both."
"If you say they're fine with this," he muttered skeptically as he picked up his guitar case. Selina literally dragged him over to her friends as his feet rendered themselves useless to movement.
"Hey, ya'll." She called as they reached them. Ryou saw Adrienne there and his feet were suddenly itching to sprint away.
"This is Ryou and." Selina tried to tell them.
"Awe, how cute!" one of the girls squealed. Ryou felt ready to vomit as the guys in the group smirked.
"Now, Ryou here has been hurt tonight and has nowhere to stay." Selina informed them.
Ryou was amazed at the unison awe's from the girls. He felt queasy at their giddiness. And he thought on would get tired dancing all night. Go figure.
"Now I was wonderin' if one of you-" Selina started. All the girls were ranting individual me-me chants, "-preferably a guy. " the voices change to a chorus of pouts, "-to look after him till he sorts out."
It was instantly silent. Ryou felt the eyes of all the guys present turn to him. He looked down at the guitar case quietly, fiddling with the plastic handle. Finally a big voice spoke up.
"Sure, I'll watch the kid," it said, smirking slightly. Ryou looked up to see a guy twice his size and all muscle. The boy unwilling gulped at the massive person turning to him, hand outstretched, "My name is Gabe," he said in the loud booming voice.
Ryou nodded and removed one hand from the case. Gabe's big hairy, tanned arms considerably dwarfed the other boy's, which looked like thin white bone reaching for the handshake. Gabe made sure he didn't squeeze to hard in case he might break something of the frail child's. Ryou was shocked at how the mans fist enveloped his own entirely like a rough callused wall. The guy had to work out or something. Ryou's fingers were only strong with guitar playing, and only hard and peeling where they had pressed on the steel strings.
"Oh, thank you!" exclaimed Selina giving the guy a hug. "I don't think Ryou will even give you much to realize he's around."
"Yeah, he looks quiet." Gabe remarked, observing the boy. "So how do you make yourself heard when you feel like it, kid?"
Ryou lifted up his guitar case slightly and dropped it to his side again for an answer.
"You play?" Gabe asked.
Ryou shrugged. He decided he was not talking to the giant.
"Oh; sing?" the guy inquired.
Ryou hesitated before nodding lightly.
The man mouthed a 'wow' of amazement. Ryou focused on the group's shoes, feigning embarrassment.
"Awe, Ryou, Your soo modest!" Adrienne yelled eccentrically. "Liven up some and relax! Gabe doesn't bite, you know."
Ryou resisted the sudden urge to knock her out with his guitar and put the sudden burst of energy into walking as the group left the club. He followed closely behind Selina, Adrienne, and Gabe. The boy was soon lost again. He had no idea where they were going or what time it was. Ryou looked for anyone who had a watch. Selina did.
"Selina?" he asked. She didn't hear him, being in a very important discussion about shoes. He decided a tap on the shoulder would get a result. He tapped. Nothing. He tapped again. Ditto. Ryou had to repeat this seven times before she turned around.
"Please, what time is it?" he asked. The girls 'awe'd at his light, soft voice they hadn't heard yet. Ryou swore he'd kill them all if they crooned at everything he did one more time. It was getting down right annoying.
"Oh, 3:30 in the morning. Sorry, Ryou, you must be tired!" she said noticing his staggering walk. She was very right, actually. Ryou nodded heavy-eyed.
"Come on, it's really about time we call in a night ya'll," she announced to the others. They all nodded in agreement.
Ryou inwardly sighed with relief as the group dispersed. Selina and Adrienne left as well, leaving Ryou with Gabe. He looked up, irrationally paranoid, at the huge man.
"Come on, kid, home is a few minutes away." The guy nodded down the street Ryou actually recognized as the one Jounouchi and Honda lived on.
The boy nodded silently and followed like a shadow. They soon reached a tall building with stairs leading up to an old wooden door. He followed Gabe inside, barely noticing the door wasn't locked and therefore a danger if some one wanted to break in.
For what Ryou saw of the house in his weariness, the place was actually quite clean for such a big guy. Gabe informed him he was used to having lots of guests over and told him where his room was. Ryou thanked the guy and was soon upstairs and asleep in the guess bed with his guitar on the ground. It had been a very long night.
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AN: Ever notice how close the 't' and 'y' keys are? I do cause I keep pressing the wrong one while typing this. Nowhere else did I do that, though. I was typing, ".you're a sweet bot, Ryou." and ".the gut said." I thought it was funny, really. Yes, I know this is random, but the simple mind is easily amused, eh?
Oh and daemonic, demonic, WHATEVER. [T.E.L. got confused there.]
Adrienne and Selina are entirely gone by the seventh chapter. They are only minor background people in all the others till then. Some chapters [like the next if I get 7 more reviews] are on Yami Ryou Bakura. Malik will return as well!
Ya'll R+R. If I get 7 more, I will continue. I am so gonna be flame for the first time with this chapter.
Stigmatize - 1. To characterize as disgraceful; brand. 2. To mark with stigma
-------- Stigma - 1. A mark or token of infamy or disgrace.
While this describes Yami Bakura, the title is also mocking the authoress. It is my feel at this story so far if it represented me. Lots of love, eh? Go look up infamy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh to the surprise of none, neh? I do own my fic ideas and the notebooks and computer files I save them in.
COMMENTS & THANKS:
ASIAN ANGEL 12: Your first question, I'm not sure if they will get back together. I have up till the end of the eighth chapter down in my notebooks. You find out were Ryou crashes this chapter. Malik will be stating his opinion about the Yami Ryou Bakura to Ryou in the sixth chapter if I don't change my mind. You find out what Yami Ryou Bakura thinks in the next chapter. There, questions answered with no plot revealed. Go me!
C AND L CRYSTAL BLUE FLAME: Yay! Everything was good. It's all good.
JULIE: You like it? All right!
NO NAME: Yes, we have a Ryou cheerleader! I knew he was missing something!
ITSAME: Don't worry, eh, I don't have much of a life outside the shell either. I am always writing fics, lyrics, or poems. Hehe. my friends [wow, I have friends?] always say I'm quiet. But they also say I freak them out so.
_________: You can't believe I did what? Made Ryou run away? I'm guessing whatever I did worked *very* well. Sorry if I took a great idea [just wish I knew which great idea.] Since I don't know what it is, I guess I can top it.
LITA: I will type more just for you, eh? I will write [and type] tonnes more! Whether I publish it is up to reviewers.
GUESS: Don't worry. This chapter has WAY more words than lyrics. I'm really into the whole descriptive paragraph thing. You don't even have to read the song part. It's just to let readers know what sentimental [huh???] songs inspired this fic.
CETTIE-GIRL: I'm finally in your favs! That makes a total of 5 people who like T.E.L. and my writing so much as to do that! ".shattered into millions on pieces, like the wine glasses." Well, your review was well written, too.
NONAME: Wow, my story is like Maxwell House Coffee [which I do not own] "Good to the last drop!" I wonder if there is a sexy heart. Of course, who would be attracted to a large pumping muscle, I mean, they're great to have [Don't know how I live with out one ^_^] but I'm not ready to call one sexy. But then, I guess it's true when people say everything about that blonde hair Egyptian is hot. Were does and Egyptian learn 'bloody hell'? Wash your mouth out Malik!
PANDORA: Dang, I never heard that song. What type of music is that? I listen to classic, pop, alternative, soft, and hard versions of rock. I'm a music freak and now I want to hear that song. Now you're gonna have me looking for that whenever I have free time. Go ahead, do a victory dance [preferably after you finish reading this INCREDIBLY LONG CHAPTER!!!!]
TAMMO: I think it rocks too!
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THIS CHAPTER IS LONG! This is why it took me soo long to type it all. In Arial on Microsoft Word it's 12 pages and descriptive.
I PROMISE ALL YOU READERS, this is way more words that lyrics. You don't even have to read the song part. If you do, I do not own The Calling, nor do I own the CD I got it from. I just like the acoustics in the intro. I'll be doing this till my parents give me MY music back.
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Stigmatize
Chapter 3: Emotional Shifts
The trick was to go somewhere his Dark would never look unless the universe was blown apart with and only that certain area left. Somewhere a guitar wouldn't look suspicious would also help.
As Ryou walked down the streets, he noticed the city's nightlife had begun to divide and conquer all the clubs, bars, and casinos. He'd passed many groups of people varying in appearance, but all having the same basic motive. Though there were the sleazy, the gothic, and the real classy type you never thought would leave their big houses, all headed for mostly the same locations for a good time. The boy tried to avoid them, staying close to buildings, and creeping past. This was justified by the fact that some of the parties were stoned for life and as drunk as dogs, not being predictable and outside the confines of daily reason.
Ryou soon reached the game shop a certain Yuugi Motou lived above. He stood next to it, trying to think. The idea of him going to any of his friends was way too obvious, but right now he needed a backrest. The time through the shop window was only ten. Like on of the partygoers would say, "The night was still young". Ryou leaned his head against the wall and slid down till he was sitting on the rough concrete, his hand still holding the guitar.
Ryou wondered where a Yami would not look for a Hikari. Another group passed by as he got an idea. He could stay at some dance club. His Dark would never check there. Next day he would go to a friends' the Fiend had already gone so many times as to give up on it.
The boy got up and followed a random group around. All of the occupants were too caught up in their own conversations and the like to notice the pale-faced shadow they had picked up passing the corner. They walked several blocks and Ryou was soon lost. Finally, the party reached some desired dance hall and entered, the child going in as well. Having an air of someone considerably above his real age made the boy almost look older, causing very few suspicious glances. Still, he stayed close to the wall with his instrument in an iron grasp, maneuvering past the cluttered tables and chairs with surprising ease. Wearily, he entered a side alcove that smelled faintly of smoke. The aroma didn't bother him, as he put his guitar case down protectively at his feet.
Some guy was soon in with a tray,
"You want anythin', man?" he asked.
"Not unless you have bottled water with the seal still intact." Ryou sighed, annoyed at how servers just tended to pop up out of nowhere.
"Well, not on me," the man informed him, "but I'll go get some."
"No-- " Ryou started as the guy left, not waiting for a reply, "- thank.you..."
Ryou shrugged. Wasn't his fault the server didn't heard him. Slowly he closed his eyes and leaned back, listening to the rhythmic dance music. He didn't have a real plan for what to do when the club closed. Right now he was just confused. He sighed and put his head in his hand wearily. The corners above his eyes throbbed dully with a sentencing pang at each beat of the music's quick tempo. In his mind's eye he could see the Spirit of the Ring. He could imagine only the look of confusion that his outburst had caused. His Dark had not been distraught at his Hikari's words, only pondering at what the Hell was up with the boy. He probably only thought Ryou was crazy or having some emotionally overcome fit, like a little child who wanted to know why he couldn't go with an older sibling to a violent movie at the local cinema. This thought only made the boy's stress headache worse, as he massaged his temples with the hand he'd rest his heavy, tired head on. He was stirred out of his musings by a tap on the shoulder.
Ryou opened his eyes, expecting to see the damnable server. He was surprised to see he was looking at two girls. They giggled good-naturally at his alarm.
"Um, good--good evening," he stuttered, sitting up straight.
"Hey, boy," said one, a blonde with too much purple eye shadow, "We haven't seen you around here before. What's your name, cutie?"
"Ryou, my name is, Ryou," he replied nervously. This really wasn't his time to be talking to people.
"Ryou? Oooo, tight name," the other crooned, such a fiery redhead that Ryou could see it was fake.
"Well," continued the blonde, "My name is Selina, and this here next to me is Adrienne. Our friends are all dancing right now. We both saw ya comin' in and decided to say hi."
"I'm, uh, pleased to make your acquaintance," he lied, not sure what to make of the pair.
This caused Adrienne make a sound that sounded like a squeal, "Wow, you're soo charming!"
Ryou blushed at this. He was just being polite. He fidgeted with the handle of his guitar case nervously.
"Oh, my, God! Do you, like, play?" Selina asked.
"Uh, a bit," he muttered humbly and shrugged, "Good enough for a bit more than a year, I suppose."
"Man, it would be soo cool if you could, like, sing. Can you sing?" Adrienne asked.
"Sure," he shrugged, "I can hold a note, but I'm not great like others you hear."
"How would we know till we like, heard fo' ourselves?" Adrienne asked, to Ryou's annoyance. "Sing something!" she commanded laughingly.
Ryou blushed yet again. Why would he sing there? He decided the ground was very interesting suddenly, and tried to tell them there was to much noise. All that came out was some random mumbling. He slammed himself mentally, thinking his Dark would never stand him acting so weak and scared in front of the opposite sex. His Yami was very bias on the idea that men were better than women and had always told Ryou he was too feminine for a male.
"Awe, he's bashful!" Selina piped to her partner in crime, "How sweet."
This didn't help Ryou's mood at all. His face was redder in seconds. Why were the girls acting so airy? Their behavior confused him as his headache came around again. [AN: Ya'll, he's a guy who isn't interested in girls, uncalled for by me to make him talk with some, yes, how is he to know they like him? He just ran out on his Yami!]
"Hey, Cutie," Selina said leaning over the table. Ryou was slightly aware this was to be his name to the two girls and any friends the introduced him to. "Wanna dance? My most favorite song is like, playing."
Ryou pushed himself back slightly, "I don't think."
"Awe, come on, it will be fun!" Adrienne squeaked eccentrically, clapping her hands with excitement.
"I don't doubt it would be, uh, enjoyable." they squealed at his word phrasing, ".under normal circumstances, but not right now." He replied while thinking back to his Yami.
Ryou was shocked at how fast the faces were changed from energetic joy, to genuine understanding and concern.
"Don't say anymore," commanded Selina holding her hand up. Ryou felt slightly offended at the gesture but didn't respond. This wasn't any better that when the two were bouncing off the wall.
"We see," Selina continued, "You were, like, hurt emotionally and want to sort yourself out here. That person must only have half a soul to not think you're such a good catch."
Ryou winched at this and looked down sadly. The Yami was half of his soul, though he couldn't say the same for the Spirit.
"Don't worry," Adrienne added, "We think you're a really sweet guy, Ryou. That person doesn't know what the Hell they are losing."
Ryou sighed. His Dark hadn't completely lost his Hikari yet. Ryou knew he still loved his other side.
"You really deserve much better than them, if they, like, don't care how you feel. There are lots of people out there who would give ANYTHING to have a guy like you, nice, polite, modest, and a guitar player, which is like, a bonus." Selina added.
Ryou just nodded glumly. This really wasn't helping.
"Thanks," he lied with a false tone of one who's been encouraged. He convincingly acted like he'd had a sudden revelation in his next words, "I'm gonna try not to think about it now. I'll just worry about were I'm going to stay tonight and if I have any cash."
"Okay, Ryou!" Selina rejoiced, "Well, now I'm gonna go out and get my night's worth of dancing done. Come on, Adri," she turned to her friend, "Brad and Gabe are sitting at the corner over there."
Ryou sighed with relief as the two FINALLY left. Before he could relax though, the waiter was back with water.
"Dude," he said, "Who are ya lucky, talkin to dem broads?"
Ryou blinked trying to decipher what the guy had just said. Was that a threat or a compliment?
"Dey were so over ya. Why did cha let em' go like dat?" he asked.
Ryou opened the bottle and sniffed its contents, making a disgusted face.
"Dey are tens, man. Babes!" the guy exclaimed.
"Uh, what?" Ryou looked at the two girls on the dance floor and shrugged, "Um, yeah, sorta, I guess..."
Ryou didn't have a big opinion on the opposite sex He supposed the two could be considered attractive, but he'd never looked at them that way during the conversation.
"Dude, it's easy ta see, ya can't jus' guess they're hot. Ya know dey are, unless you're, like, gay or somethin'." he laughed.
Ryou smirked. "I think you very handsome as well," he lied.
"Oh, my God, man, you're, like, a queer?" the guy asked surprised.
Ryou just smiled at him like he was a complete idiot of a waiter.
"So ya like, you know, with. like, othuh guys?" he said.
Ryou had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing.
"Awe, god!" the guy exclaimed. "Don't look at me, Fag." He said.
The guy hurried out to Ryou's relief and great amusement. The boy threw his bottled water after him. Moron. Finally, he was alone to think.
All Ryou could focus on was his Yami. What was the Spirit doing? Was he looking for his Hikari, or was he indulging himself with Malik?
A surge of anger surged through the boy as his thoughts hit the blonde haired Egyptian. Malik had been his _friend_, but he'd ripped up Ryou's heart and shot him through the head coming to the house to 'spend the night' with the Spirit of the Ring. Ryou knew Malik no longer had a Dark of his own, but still. What the other boy did was painful and very uncalled for.
Ryou's turning emotions took over. His wrath was soon overcome by a wave of deep sorrow and remorse. The boy felt his stomach do a dive into inexistence, and had the slight urge to throw up. Why did his Dark had to use him like a puppet? Was the child's mortal heart, not immortal like the soul, just some toy he could play with and put away to the Fiend? If so, the pleasure item was broken every time the greedy hands touched it; broken until it was far beyond repair. Ryou knew he would never be the same after his Yami's treatment. Even if he never saw the Fiend again, memories would always be there, haunting his existence.
The pain Ryou'd carry in his heart leaving, wouldn't drown how much he'd loved his Dark. He always had since some time he couldn't recall, and had enjoyed the moments when it seemed the Spirit cared even a slight bit. Those times when both wanted the others company for more than conversation or, in one's case, anger management. Ryou knew he'd begun to live for those moments, which suddenly became few and far between.
But like everything else with the Fiend, those times lost pleasantness. They became yet another form of brutal torture. Ryou had slowly started noticing everything he'd lost to the Spirit of the Ring: his will, his freedom, his innocence, his soul. All he'd earned was the compassion of others and a silence as the jaded observer of lives around him; better lives, with reasons to exist. His own life was only to aid a daemonic Tomb Robber in his egocentric quest for world domination. That wasn't much to live for since nobody wanted to be ruled by his Dark. It was, in ways, a lost cause.
The discovery of a new love interest had caused the boy to panic. He'd retaliated the only way he'd known; run and hide. Ryou had tried to avoid what was causing the hurt entirely since he couldn't block it out. Ergo, he ran out on the Tomb Robber to some random nightclub.
Ryou didn't get it, he'd given his Dark so much; another soul to live off of, an existence outside the Shadow Realm, a modern place he could stay at while plotting the position of all seven Millennium Items. He'd even given him his own frail body for the torture of the Fiend's emotions. Angry, he had hurt Ryou; sad, he'd try to get some kind of comfort; playful, bored, or feeling compassionate, all these moods had influence his treatment of the boy, till he used all it up on the Light. Thus, ensuring he could face the world without them seeing he was as human as the child that was his host. No, he was the impenetrable Yami Ryou Bakura, above the realm of everything human!
Ryou's emotions did another shift in gear, accelerating over his depression and longing with burning enmity. He tried to convince himself he loathed his Dark and would never forgive him. He beat an angry tattoo against the leather-enforced cardboard of his guitar case. The instrument inside hummed lightly at the vibrations. No, he wasn't sad, he hated the Fiend; hated him with all that was left of his heart and soul. He repeated this to himself over and over.
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AUTORESS NOTE: Okay, this is the proof of what I've been listening to. You could skip this and not be in the dark at all on this story. Just jump to the other design thing separating sections. I know some people hate song fics, so I don't use them often. I couldn't decide what to do with these paragraphs that I'd typed; to put it in or leave it out, so I reached this happy medium. Okay? Happy! ^_^
If he had been contemplating all this in his room, Ryou would have taken the old acoustic 6-string from it's battered case and played it like he pleased. But he wasn't and knew it would make a scene if he took it out now. Ryou had made and memorized many of his own harmonizing tunes before. He always told himself he would add words to them later on, but usually never found time. Vice versa, he had many lyrics written and under construction that he hadn't really put much of a tempo onto past the rhythmic flow.
Joyful to be thinking of something else other than the Spirit, Ryou started to put some words to the little ditties. Since he wouldn't play guitar at the moment, he'd just have to make words instead on notes. [AN: Words are on letter-like-get-in-trouble-for-passing-them-in-class-notes, Ryou!]
Suddenly, a flow hit him. Ryou kicked himself when realized it was about the Fiend, but it was still a rather good inspiration. Taking a pen from his pocket and a napkin from across the table, he began to write. He stressed the words with his anger and recent thought flow. How he'd understood his Dark's meaningless comforting and how the Spirit had used him. He took the pen and began forming the words on paper, keeping the time subconsciously with his foot.
*I've been thinking about you, my love,
And all the crazy things that you put me through.
Now I'm comin around, and throwin it back to you.
Where you thinking of me, when you kissed him?
Could you taste me when you licked his skin?
And all the while I showered you with trust and promises.
What I'm needin now's some sweet revenge,
To get back all that I lost then,
I gave you all I had to give, but I could never reach you. *
Ryou paused. Now here was a flaw; Spirit of the Ring didn't fit his tempo, nor did it make sense. It sound lame to carry Yami, Dark, or Spirit for so long a measure. It came down to whether or not he wanted other people to see his writing. It would have to make sense if so.
Well, since you could never be too careful, he decided it had to have a reasonable word that fit. He needed a name, preferably female. Anuz, no; Mai, no; and those were the two girls he knew. Sad really, he didn't know many others, and barely knew the two he'd thought of. His eyes drifted lazily to the dance floor. Selina almost fit, except for the dull sounding -ah at the end. He chose another one randomly.
*Adrienne, I thought I knew you.
Once again, you used me, used me.
Adrienne, I should have left you.
Long before, you used me, used me up. *
Adrienne was long name, but good for the speed and flow. She was also, truthfully, the most annoying person Ryou had ever meant, making him able to stress his resentment of her through the song. He decided it was good enough, and kept going.
*Spent my money, drove my car,
I treated you like a shinin star,
But all burnt up, in my sky, you are.
But I'll have the last, laugh, when I see you walkin that other guy.
Cause I know you're gonna end up all alone.
So take these words, some good advice,
All you done's gonna come back twice.
You never cared how much it hurt; I really need to tell you. *
Ryou was soon stressing words with underlines, stars, and letter sizes that made no sense to anybody but him, as he started to wrap it up. He put down the chorus two more times with the ending of the first verse between.
"There," he sighed, marking the date and location. He turned the napkin over and scribbled down some letters of the cords down. Therefore, when he found it later, it would be easy to get to get the tempo and range he'd written to back.
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Ryou tried to think of other things for the next 20 minutes. All that entered his mind other than his Yami was sleep. Slowly the boy drifted in and out of reality as he heard the clubs music get slower and slower. He opened his eyes when some one leaned heavily on the table. Selina had returned. Ryou held back a mournful sigh.
"Wow, Cutie, you're still here? I'd thought someone like you wouldn't stay at a club till closing time."
Ryou resisted the urge to bolt. He shrugged casually, "It's not like I have anywhere else to go, really."
She nodded. It was almost funny to the boy how serious the expression was on her make-up caked face and ditzy blonde style.
"I see," she said, "That half-brain who dumped you is, like, were you live."
He covered his grimace with a deep nod of agreement.
"Well, listen to this," she said, looking at the group she'd been hanging out with, "I'm gonna like, get you some place to stay for a while. You're a sweet guy, Ryou, and I can't have you and your manners wasting away, like, in a street or something."
Ryou seriously wished he hadn't been so nice. "Will it bother them?" he asked politely. (Always so polite!)
"Not a bit, I'm sure. These guys are great," she motioned to the males she'd been hanging out with. "They'd do anything for me or a good cause. You're a situation of both."
"If you say they're fine with this," he muttered skeptically as he picked up his guitar case. Selina literally dragged him over to her friends as his feet rendered themselves useless to movement.
"Hey, ya'll." She called as they reached them. Ryou saw Adrienne there and his feet were suddenly itching to sprint away.
"This is Ryou and." Selina tried to tell them.
"Awe, how cute!" one of the girls squealed. Ryou felt ready to vomit as the guys in the group smirked.
"Now, Ryou here has been hurt tonight and has nowhere to stay." Selina informed them.
Ryou was amazed at the unison awe's from the girls. He felt queasy at their giddiness. And he thought on would get tired dancing all night. Go figure.
"Now I was wonderin' if one of you-" Selina started. All the girls were ranting individual me-me chants, "-preferably a guy. " the voices change to a chorus of pouts, "-to look after him till he sorts out."
It was instantly silent. Ryou felt the eyes of all the guys present turn to him. He looked down at the guitar case quietly, fiddling with the plastic handle. Finally a big voice spoke up.
"Sure, I'll watch the kid," it said, smirking slightly. Ryou looked up to see a guy twice his size and all muscle. The boy unwilling gulped at the massive person turning to him, hand outstretched, "My name is Gabe," he said in the loud booming voice.
Ryou nodded and removed one hand from the case. Gabe's big hairy, tanned arms considerably dwarfed the other boy's, which looked like thin white bone reaching for the handshake. Gabe made sure he didn't squeeze to hard in case he might break something of the frail child's. Ryou was shocked at how the mans fist enveloped his own entirely like a rough callused wall. The guy had to work out or something. Ryou's fingers were only strong with guitar playing, and only hard and peeling where they had pressed on the steel strings.
"Oh, thank you!" exclaimed Selina giving the guy a hug. "I don't think Ryou will even give you much to realize he's around."
"Yeah, he looks quiet." Gabe remarked, observing the boy. "So how do you make yourself heard when you feel like it, kid?"
Ryou lifted up his guitar case slightly and dropped it to his side again for an answer.
"You play?" Gabe asked.
Ryou shrugged. He decided he was not talking to the giant.
"Oh; sing?" the guy inquired.
Ryou hesitated before nodding lightly.
The man mouthed a 'wow' of amazement. Ryou focused on the group's shoes, feigning embarrassment.
"Awe, Ryou, Your soo modest!" Adrienne yelled eccentrically. "Liven up some and relax! Gabe doesn't bite, you know."
Ryou resisted the sudden urge to knock her out with his guitar and put the sudden burst of energy into walking as the group left the club. He followed closely behind Selina, Adrienne, and Gabe. The boy was soon lost again. He had no idea where they were going or what time it was. Ryou looked for anyone who had a watch. Selina did.
"Selina?" he asked. She didn't hear him, being in a very important discussion about shoes. He decided a tap on the shoulder would get a result. He tapped. Nothing. He tapped again. Ditto. Ryou had to repeat this seven times before she turned around.
"Please, what time is it?" he asked. The girls 'awe'd at his light, soft voice they hadn't heard yet. Ryou swore he'd kill them all if they crooned at everything he did one more time. It was getting down right annoying.
"Oh, 3:30 in the morning. Sorry, Ryou, you must be tired!" she said noticing his staggering walk. She was very right, actually. Ryou nodded heavy-eyed.
"Come on, it's really about time we call in a night ya'll," she announced to the others. They all nodded in agreement.
Ryou inwardly sighed with relief as the group dispersed. Selina and Adrienne left as well, leaving Ryou with Gabe. He looked up, irrationally paranoid, at the huge man.
"Come on, kid, home is a few minutes away." The guy nodded down the street Ryou actually recognized as the one Jounouchi and Honda lived on.
The boy nodded silently and followed like a shadow. They soon reached a tall building with stairs leading up to an old wooden door. He followed Gabe inside, barely noticing the door wasn't locked and therefore a danger if some one wanted to break in.
For what Ryou saw of the house in his weariness, the place was actually quite clean for such a big guy. Gabe informed him he was used to having lots of guests over and told him where his room was. Ryou thanked the guy and was soon upstairs and asleep in the guess bed with his guitar on the ground. It had been a very long night.
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AN: Ever notice how close the 't' and 'y' keys are? I do cause I keep pressing the wrong one while typing this. Nowhere else did I do that, though. I was typing, ".you're a sweet bot, Ryou." and ".the gut said." I thought it was funny, really. Yes, I know this is random, but the simple mind is easily amused, eh?
Oh and daemonic, demonic, WHATEVER. [T.E.L. got confused there.]
Adrienne and Selina are entirely gone by the seventh chapter. They are only minor background people in all the others till then. Some chapters [like the next if I get 7 more reviews] are on Yami Ryou Bakura. Malik will return as well!
Ya'll R+R. If I get 7 more, I will continue. I am so gonna be flame for the first time with this chapter.