Solace chapter 3
*mindtalking*
"talking"
Last Chapter:
The man ignores her, and yawns loudly and standinding up he glances towards the door. "I really must be going. I am called Ronin by the way. Calm down some little one and get some rest, you'll feel better about yourself" He nods at her then turns and stirdes out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Begin flashbacks once more ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Korunue opens the door to her room ever so slightly, just a little, enough to stick her nose out and sniff the air. A few minutes later, her head pokes out. She has night-black hair, and she wears a black bandanna on top of it.She appears to have no ears. Her large, mysterious purple eyes scan the Inn, though they have dark bags under them.
Ronin strides confidently through the doorway to the inn. Korunue catches sight of him and pulls her head back quickly. A few minutes later, it slowly re-emerges. She hangs on the door for a bit, then tentivivly steps out. She wears a quiver on her left shoulder blade, rather than on her back. Her white kimono with black borders is too large for her by a few sizes, and it goes with her rather gaunt cheeks. Her slippered feet make little noise on the floor. She carries a well-polished bow.
Ronin glances up at Korunue and nods before walking to the bar. His ears still stay focused in the direction that Korunue is in though. When he reaches hte bar he motions Moe, the barkeep, over and whispers something in his ear.
Korunue timidly creeps down the stairs, eyes and ears on Ronin as there are no other targets for her to focus on. She does glance away from him to scan the doorway, the path, the woods, the windows, ect, but her gaze soon returns to him. She heads to the bar, favoring her left leg a little. Not much, but enough so the hanyou would be able to tell. Her leg was too sore for her to hide it from him, though she tried.
Ronin nods at Moe when he arrives with a mug filled with some kind of drink. He reaches into his shirt and digs around, searching for some coins. Pulling his hand back out he hands the coins to Moe. He looks straight ahead, drinking from the mug, but his ears stay focused on Korunue.
Korunue sits, looking about, her ears on Ronin. Well, if he wasn't going ot bother looking at her, she wouldn't look at him either. She stared out the window, thinking, bow in her lap.
Ronin takes one final drink from his mug, and turns around to look at Korunue. He wondered if she was still almost ready to cry. Korunue hears the small movement, ears twitching, and turns, meeting his gaze. She quickly lowers hers in a submissive guesture, but her ears stay on him.Ronin shakes his head at Korunue and stands up to walk to her. "You're gonna have to stop being so submissive." He says when he reaches her.
Korunue tilts her head, looking like a small puppy confused by something the master does or says. "it's always worked well for me before..." she murmers, half to herself.
Ronin scowls at Korunue "Just because it's always worked before, doesn't mean it will work forever. Now sit up and act right."
Korunue sits up straight, frowning about what exactly "right" was. "better?" she asked, tilting her head like a puppy once more. Again submissive, though: she was submitting to his order to not be submissive.
Ronin reaches down and untilts Korunue's head. "Don't do that." he growls. "It makes you look like a pup." Korunue re-tilts her head the other way, frowning, puzzled, then shook her head and looked chastised, drooping her ears and looking down.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue "You're hopeless." he mutters. Standing up he walks out the door.Korunue takes her things and quietly creeps to her room, thinking about what he had said to her.
************************** Later****************************
Korunue opens the door to her room once again, just a little, enough to stick her nose out and sniff the air. A few minutes later, her head pokes out. She still wears her bandanna. Sinai, sitting at the bar, sniffs the air, not drunk at all yet, but wishes she was, and smells Korunue's scent, and smiles, looking up at her "Good eve, m' friend..."
Korunue pops her head back in, surprised, then steps timidly out of her room. her white kimono with black trim hangs loose on her, emphasizing her gaunt cheeks and the bags under her eyes. She carries in her left hand a well-polished bow, and wears a quiver of arrows on her left shoulder blade. She timidly creeps down the stairs, scanning about the room nervously with her eyes.
Sinai nods to her friend, waiting for her patiently to come sit with her--hopefully, anyway...Hoping her drinking will not scare her newfound friend away. Korunue creeps over the the bar, sitting, looking about as if expecting some demon to take the roof off and pluck her from the room and eat her. She hunches her shoulders a bit as her head turns to look all around her. Not spying a threat, she sighs in releif, though keeps her guard up.
Sinai waves to her friend to come join her. "Korunue..." she hails quietly, knowing her friend's tense nerves. Korunue moves to a seat by Sinai, smiling at her in thanks. She lays the bow in her lap, plucking the string to be sure it is taunt and ready, though she knows, and suspects Sinai knows as well, that she would be too afraid to shoot at a real threat.
"How have you been today, Korunue? You seem distraught and tired..." Sinai says, as she drinks a long sip of her drink, leaning back in her chair, her finely detailed bow and quiver on the table next to her right arm, which is resting on the table.
Korunue shrugs. "The same..." she says, causally, though softly, as though ehr voice might call about any passing demons to come attack her. "and you? How are you today?"
Sinai shrugs. "Could b' better...could b' worse...No' in the greatest of moods taeday..." Her accent become more obvious as time passes--and as she drinks more of what is sat before her by Moe.
Korunue nods absently, preoccupied with what she was told before by the only other partial-blood she knows. Was it really as bad as he said? She didn't know. She needed to know. She wished he was here to explain.
"Does thae past e'er go away? Does it ha' tae keep coming back and slapping ye in thae face e'ery time ye turn around?" Sinai muttered to herself, not knowing or caring what she was drinking.
Korunue nods her head slowly. Her sentiments exactly. Well, not exactly... but her father's legacy caused her no end of problems. And still...."hopeless.... hmmm... I wonder..." she murmered, thinking over what Ronin had said.
"Hm..? " Sinai says, stopping herself from taking another drink of whatever it is she's drinking. "What was that?" She is curious as to what her friend is talking about.
Korunue shakes her head quickly. "oh, just thinking. I ran into Ronin earlier... that hanyou from last night. " She does not go on, but goes back to musing.
"Really? What did he have to say today?" She is somewhat curious, he seeming like a noble, intelligent hanyou.
Korunue looks down. "He told me I was being disgraceful, and that I should straighten up and not be so scared of everything...." she trails off, her voice fading to a near-whisper. "And he said I was hopeless."
"Ah...Well, I would have to agree with him on you not being sae scared...It's more of a hindrance than a help. Trust m', I know... I dinna know about ye' being hopeless...Incouragable, maybe...No' hopeless. I still ha' hope for ye..."Sinai smiles, looking really "sleepy", and briefly wonders if Korunue is noticing her friend getting really tipsy or not.
Korunue looks down. "but you're not part youkai." she whispers to her lap. She does not look up, and does not notice Sinai getting "tipsy", being lost in her on thoughts.
"Perhaps no', but that doesna mean I canna ha' hope for ye..."
Korunue whispers "but you don't understand. Nobody understands." she sighs, looking up, sniffing the air. She realises that her friend is getting rather drunk and falls silent, thinking her own thoughts.
"Help m' to understand, then..."
Korunue looks out the window. "you can't understand, not without being there, feeling it. It's like..." she frowns, thinking. "It's like, everyone hates you, even your kind. No, because you don't HAVE a kind. YOukai hate me for being too human, and humans for being too youkai. And all because of the stupid, stupid ears!" She is beginning to get worked up, and the last bit was said in a surge of anger.
Sinai frowns some. "You forget my background, my friend." She remembers the scars she's received...She opens up her buttoned up black shirt to show Korunue the scars on her shoulders, being discreet. "People have hated me all of my life. I have run from them most of my life...These are what they give me in return for my kindness...At one point, even my own parents hated me...My mother left me when I was young, knowing what I would be when I grew up...She didn't want to raise a dog of a daughter..."
Korunue looks down, ashamed. "But at least you know what you are." she murmers softly. "And I have my share of senseless injuries... This one demon likes to attack me , and won't tell me why... I suspect it is because I am what I am... for instence, it is painful to lay on my back, it has been re-injured so many times in so short a time.... And at least you had a family. My mother died, and my father abandoned me. I was raised by a youkai-hunter and a priest, for pete's sake! I never had real friends... I have always been alone. I will always be alone, it seems."
Sinai nods grimly. "We've both had turbulent childhoods." She smiles a little. "No, ye won't...Ye always ha' me..."
Korunue smiles weakly, unconvinced. "There is only one of me...none others like me.... so no-one else can truly understand. Hanyous look down on me, 3/4 youkai look down on me, and full youkai barely acknowldge my existance. I am an abomination."
"At least you've met others somewhat like ye...I ha' ne'er met another werebeing in all o' m' life...or at least been friends with one. "
Korunue snorts. "What good is it to even have others remotely like me, if they all hate me and look down on me! Just imagine, if there were hundreds and hundreds of higher-class werebeings who barely acknowladged your existance except to look at you like you were dog doo! Even my teacher.... he seemed nice, but all he wanted was my father's sword. He didn't give one lick about me."
"Dinna think there are such things as higher-class werebeings, but I get ye're point.." She nods grimly. "M' father was killed, along wi' m' brothers, in a fire m' neighbors set...all b'cause o' m'...." Said very softly, to herself, sipping her BloodWyne again."Was only 8...couldna ha' stopped them...could I? I always ask m'self that...Could I ha' stopped those prejudiced, one-way thinking fools? "
Korunue looks down. "I made sure nobody got hurt because of my father but me... " she whispers. "But I can't blame him for me... It's not his fault I'm so damn scared all the time... my worst fear was that someone would attack me for no reason; and the other day, they did. A few people. I suppose I had it pretty good until now... but now I fear I'll never act like a proper youkai." A silent tear dripped down to her lap.
Sinai nods, placing a gentle hand on her arm. "I see what ye mean, Korunue..."
Korunue looks down, sobbing softly. "And I failed my friend... I saved her, and I got her magic, but I wasn't fast enough... it was too late... her magic didn't take... and now... she's not even there; her body is there but her mind is somewhere else, and I can't do anything about it" she whispers, feeling once again the shame and pain of her recent failure.
Sinai stands, swaying a little. "I need tae b' gettin' myself on home...I have stuff tae do, and I needs tae eat soon..."
Korunue nods farewell, looking out the window, lost in thought once more. She closes her eyes, perfectly miserable.
Sinai gets her stuff, putting her cloak back on, and waves to Korunue. "I'm sorrah I'm runnin' out on ye...but I need tae eat somethin'..." She smiles, and remembers to pay Moe what she owes him, tossing him some coins, and as always, a little extra.She starts on her way home, swaying a little, but in a better mood because of the firewater.
************************ muuuuuuuuch later (like, several days) **********************************
Korunue sat at the bar timidly, nervously keeping an ear out for danger. Ronin strides through the doorway to the inn with a look of confidence in his eyes. He appears to be a tall man with long, dark grey that has a sort of reddish tint around the edges. On the top of his head there are two fox-like ears, both of them are the same dark grey as his hair, but have a little more red showing around the edges. The ears dart in various directions, scanning for any slight sound that might indicate danger. Korunue notices for the first time that he has eyes that are a blue-green mix in color and scan the area in front of him, also scanning for any signs of a threat. His shirt is a dark red, almost crimson color, and loose fitting with big open sleeves that could easily conceal a dagger or any other sort of small weapon. His pants are the same deep red color of his shirt, and would have the same big openings as his shirt, but they are tied off at his ankles. He doesnt wear any boots or shoes on his feet, preferring to go barefoot for more agility. Around his waist is a simple belt with a pair of large pouches on his left to hold healing herbs. On the right side of his belt there is a set of rings which hold his two swords, one hanging below the other. On the top is a wakizashi, and hanging right below it is a katana. He has the swords housed in an almost identical pair of scabbards. The shorter scabbard has various silver colored designs and symbols for good luck running down it, while the longer one has the same designs and symbols carved in red. Both blades are well oiled and ready to be drawn on a moments notice. Ronin unconciously reaches down to make sure the blades are loose in the scabbards as he walks in.
Korunue gasps, looking down immediatly in a submissive guesture. She fiddles with her bow, running her fingers over it idely, checking for blemishes or cracks. Finding none, she continues to run her fingers over it, for lack of something better to do.
Ronin spies Korunue and a low rumbling growl emerges from his throat. Her submissivness infuriates him, but that was not the worst thing she did. She has covered up her ears, denying what she truly is. The growl trials off as he stalks towards the bar, glaring at Korunue the whole time. Upon reaching the bar, he gives a loud grunt adn motions Moe over.
Korunue looks up at the growl, eyes widening in the fear that has become so familer to her. She gave a little yelp at the glare, hunching her shoulders and bowing her head submissivly. She lets out a small whine as a plea for him not to hurt her, and shut her eyes, waiting for the blow she felt sure would follow the growl.
Ronin lets a slight smile take his lips as Moe scurries away to fetch his drink. With nothing better to do till Moe arrives, he turns to face Korunue. His smile is quickly replaced by a scowl upon new sight of her bandana. "Why do you wear that thing?" He says motioning his index finger towards the bandana. "it certainly isn't going to do you any good to hide who you are."
Korunue looks down in shame, opening her eyes. "I... " she whispers, not even bothering to finish the sentence. What excuse could she possibly have that he would take? What could she say that would not get her smacked? But if she says nothing, he'd hit her. She remained silent, steeling herself for the blow.
Ronin narrows his eyes a little. "What's wrong? Can't you answer me?" He quickly raises his right hand, watching Korunue prepare to be hit. But he doesn't, instead he reaches out to her head and jerks the bandana off, freeing her little black dog ears.
Korunue jerks at the touch, her ears popping up to get some air. They are fluffy and black and pointed, very puppy-like, and they alter her whole appearance. Now, instead of looking thin and tired, she looks like a whipped, thin, tired puppy. Her ears flaten themselves, making the top of her head into a straight line. She cowers more, wimpering a little.
Ronin glances away from Korunue as Moe arrives with his ale. Moe is greeted by another low growl rising in Ronin's throat as Ronin tosses some coins on the table. "Good job, human." He says under his breath. Bringing the mug to his lips, he tastes the ale and finds it satisfactory. He turns back to Korunue. "See, nothing bad came from having your ears exposed."He says with a half scowl.
Korunue looks down, chastised. "That's because it's just you and me." she mumbles. She thinks hard, then looks up, eyes unreadable all of the suddan. She studies Ronin's face carefully, mustering up the courage to speak.
Ronin turns his half scowl back into a full scowl. "And what difference does it make if it is just you and me, or you and someone else...anyone else?" He examines her face, trying to read her thoughts. "It should not make a difference who is here either. Be proud of who you are, stop shying away from everyone." He shoots a glance over to Moe "You may even have to put up with some people you would rather not be around." Another low growl rises in his throat at the comment.
Korunue studies his face for another half a minute or more, seeming like an eternity. Finally she speaks. "What..." she croaks, her voice no more than a whisper, her throat suddanly dry. She swallows hard and tries again, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach for the moment. "What.... what did you mean, when you left the other day? Am I really... hopeless?" she asks, her voice betraying her nervousness.
Ronin finally loses his scowl. "is that what has been worrying you little one?" He tries to stiffle a small chuckle. "No, no you are not hopeless. I don't know of anyone who is truly hopeless." He sets the bandana on the bar and pats Korunue on her head. "You're already making improvements."
Korunue smiles a little uneasily. So why didn't she feel better? What was wrong with her? She frowned, looking down, brushing a tear away from her eye. Her ears remained droopy. She winced a little at each pat, flinching away from the touch.
Ronin pulls his hand back from Korunue's head and turns back to the bar, drinking from his mug once more. "You still don't look right, so what is wrong with you?" He asks. He seems to be trying to make conversation."And why do you always act so submissive?"
Korunue frowns. Why DOES she always act submissive? "I guess..." she says, puzzled. "I guess it's because... well, I'm so scared of everything..." her voice fades out to a whisper. She looks down again, shutting her eyes. "I know, I know... I'm such a failure... such a disgrace to youkai..." she whispers, more to herself than anyone else, her voice barely above a whisper.
Ronin sets down the now empty mug and lets out a small, contented sigh. "You shouldn't be scared of everything. You are youkai, or at least part youkai. You were trained to fight weren't you?" He appears to me a little more talkative now that he is relaxed.
Korunue nods, a small, nervous nod. "Hai, I was... " she whispers. "And shooting a target at school with my friends egging me on is one thing. I was quite good at that..." she smiles faintly at the memory. "But... well, you saw what happened last time I held a bow against another living person. " she sighs, a faint sigh, like she would say more but let the breath go instead. She took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly.
Ronin sorts through Korunue's words in his head for a few minutes. Sorting them out, trying to get the most from them that he can. "Well, when it comes down to it, you are going to have to learn to shoot properly....but I cannot teach you that, I never learned much with the yumi."
Korunue looks up. "Oh, I can shoot.... just not another, scary person. " she says. Then she hears another person enter, a satyr, and jumps, looking him over. She bows her head once more, silent, submissive, her ears going flat again. A human girl walks in soon after. Korunue lets one ear up to hear the newcomer, then flattens it again. She bows her head more, hunching her shoulders, though she knows this will annoy Ronin. She'd rather survive, and to her, this was the way to not call attention to herself.
The girl walked over to Ronin. "Greetings warrior would you be in need of any helping hand?"
Ronin jerks his ears towards the door followed by his eyes, and then his whole head. He nods at the satyr, and warily watches the human. When the human approaches him a low growl rises in his throat "Get away from me you damn human." His words are those of one who has been hurt before and is protecting themselves. Glancing over to Korunue he addresses her "Perk up your ears girl, you don't want this human to think you weak do you?" The growl never quite leaves his throat.
Korunue slowly puts her ears back up, though still cowering. They don't look nearly so defiant and strong as Ronin's. Like her, they seem timid, afraid, as of one who has been hurt many times before and fears being hurt again.
The girl began pestering Ronin, saying that she wasn't human, and that she'd tell what she was if he gave her a flower. He got madder and madder, until finally he lets loose a deep, throaty growl. "Why the hell would I want to give you a damn flower, human?" His hand slowly strays to the shorter sword at his side. "Answer me now, or begone with you." He seems rather serious about it.
Korunue catches sight of Ronin's hand and gasps, turning white, eyes wide with fear. She keeps her eyes trained on his sword, fluffy puppy ears twitching about to catch the sounds of everyone and everything. Her hands to to the bow in her lap: her right hand on the polished bamboo, her left to her left side, in a position to grap an arrow from the quiver on her shoulder blade, elbow back.
The woman seemed non-chalant, simply remarking that that was the price of her true name and identity. Ronin glares at the human "Go away then and don't bother me. I don't need your so called 'true name and identity'. It would serve me no purpose." He turns around towards Korunue, shaking his head. His hand never leaving the sword.
Korunue tenses, her eyes on Ronin. They are hard to read, holding fear and.... something else, though it's hard to place. Her left hand reaches to the feather on one of her bamboo arrows, though she leaves it in the quiver. "please..." she whispers, fright apparant in her voice. Did he hate her as much as he hated humans? Did he hate her BECAUSE she was mostly human? This new thought made her face drain of color again.
Ronin shakes his head at the human one more time as she vanishes out the door. "I would never trust a human." He says to Korunue "Maybe if they had a drop of youkai blood and had some honor in them. But not a full blooded human." He finally notices how tense she is and removes his hand from his sword. "You can relax now, little one." He adds as an afterthought.
Korunue looks down, ashamed. She lowers her hands to her lap. "Do you..." she begins, unable to finish her thought, as a tear drops to her lap. Her ears droop even lower than before, now pointing downwards rather than straight out to the sides.
Ronin glances at Korunue. "Raise your ears." He orders. He starts to wait for her to do so, but changes his mind and adds "Now, Do I what?"
Korunue hunches her shoulders, raising her ears a bit. They pointed up now, but only just. "do you... hate me?" she whispers, tensing up for a blow yet again.
Ronin almost snorts, he wasnt expecting a question like this. "No no no, I don't hate you, little one." He studies her for a moment, studying her position and features. "Why would you ask such a question? Is it because I am harsh with you?" He lets a grin take his lips "I am harsh with anyone who needs such treatment to get them back in line."
Korunue shakes her head. "I mean, do you hate me because of what I am? You seem to hate humans so... and I am so... so... unclean." she can't think of a better word,but manages to convey her disgust in that one word. She turns away, looking out the window. "most would hate me..." she whispers.
Ronin reaches his right hand out and pats Korunue on her back. "No, I don't hate you for what you are. You're three-quarters human, correct? Well that one-quarter youkai is what counts." He removes his hand from her and set it on the bar. "Now you should be proud of the youkai you have in you,"
Korunue looks out the window, processing this information. "proud..." she whispers. "proud." she says, a little louder, trying it out. "Proud!" her ears perk, then fall. "But... feh. pride, in being a... a monster, an abombination."
Ronin suddenly shoots his arm and and whaps Korunue upside the head. "You are not a monster, not an abomination. You are youkai, maybe not whole. But neither am I. Be proud of the youkai that you do have." He withraws his arm and places it back on the bar.
Korunue stands up quickly, her eyes wide in fear. She manages not to reach for her bow to shoot him... she lowers her gaze. "I should go to bed..." she mumbles, wanting to go have a good cry but not revealing it. "goodnight." she says, heading to her room at a pace slightly faster than a walk but slower than a run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End flashbacks! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now.. she'd never see any of them again. She wondered breifly if they'd miss her, or even know- or care- if she was dead. She took a deep breath- time to signal her second. She began a mental prayer to Buddha so she'd get a good reincarnation, and began to lift her hand.
Arms! Enfolding her! She looked up, to see her father's face. How had he... she saw the worry in his eyes, as he held her close. He had been scared for her! But... she had failed Kagome, and herself... she deserved death. But she didn't want her father to worry... she sobbed, in his arms, as he held her close, murmering in her ear. She would live- for now.
all together now: "aaaaawwwwwwww!!" Now the sequal part can really start. This fic'll be slower paced than my other ones, mostly because this was an RP that took a few months. So by the end, you should feel you really know the characters, more so than in my other fics. IT'll just take a while longer...
REVIEW!
*mindtalking*
"talking"
Last Chapter:
The man ignores her, and yawns loudly and standinding up he glances towards the door. "I really must be going. I am called Ronin by the way. Calm down some little one and get some rest, you'll feel better about yourself" He nods at her then turns and stirdes out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Begin flashbacks once more ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Korunue opens the door to her room ever so slightly, just a little, enough to stick her nose out and sniff the air. A few minutes later, her head pokes out. She has night-black hair, and she wears a black bandanna on top of it.She appears to have no ears. Her large, mysterious purple eyes scan the Inn, though they have dark bags under them.
Ronin strides confidently through the doorway to the inn. Korunue catches sight of him and pulls her head back quickly. A few minutes later, it slowly re-emerges. She hangs on the door for a bit, then tentivivly steps out. She wears a quiver on her left shoulder blade, rather than on her back. Her white kimono with black borders is too large for her by a few sizes, and it goes with her rather gaunt cheeks. Her slippered feet make little noise on the floor. She carries a well-polished bow.
Ronin glances up at Korunue and nods before walking to the bar. His ears still stay focused in the direction that Korunue is in though. When he reaches hte bar he motions Moe, the barkeep, over and whispers something in his ear.
Korunue timidly creeps down the stairs, eyes and ears on Ronin as there are no other targets for her to focus on. She does glance away from him to scan the doorway, the path, the woods, the windows, ect, but her gaze soon returns to him. She heads to the bar, favoring her left leg a little. Not much, but enough so the hanyou would be able to tell. Her leg was too sore for her to hide it from him, though she tried.
Ronin nods at Moe when he arrives with a mug filled with some kind of drink. He reaches into his shirt and digs around, searching for some coins. Pulling his hand back out he hands the coins to Moe. He looks straight ahead, drinking from the mug, but his ears stay focused on Korunue.
Korunue sits, looking about, her ears on Ronin. Well, if he wasn't going ot bother looking at her, she wouldn't look at him either. She stared out the window, thinking, bow in her lap.
Ronin takes one final drink from his mug, and turns around to look at Korunue. He wondered if she was still almost ready to cry. Korunue hears the small movement, ears twitching, and turns, meeting his gaze. She quickly lowers hers in a submissive guesture, but her ears stay on him.Ronin shakes his head at Korunue and stands up to walk to her. "You're gonna have to stop being so submissive." He says when he reaches her.
Korunue tilts her head, looking like a small puppy confused by something the master does or says. "it's always worked well for me before..." she murmers, half to herself.
Ronin scowls at Korunue "Just because it's always worked before, doesn't mean it will work forever. Now sit up and act right."
Korunue sits up straight, frowning about what exactly "right" was. "better?" she asked, tilting her head like a puppy once more. Again submissive, though: she was submitting to his order to not be submissive.
Ronin reaches down and untilts Korunue's head. "Don't do that." he growls. "It makes you look like a pup." Korunue re-tilts her head the other way, frowning, puzzled, then shook her head and looked chastised, drooping her ears and looking down.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue "You're hopeless." he mutters. Standing up he walks out the door.Korunue takes her things and quietly creeps to her room, thinking about what he had said to her.
************************** Later****************************
Korunue opens the door to her room once again, just a little, enough to stick her nose out and sniff the air. A few minutes later, her head pokes out. She still wears her bandanna. Sinai, sitting at the bar, sniffs the air, not drunk at all yet, but wishes she was, and smells Korunue's scent, and smiles, looking up at her "Good eve, m' friend..."
Korunue pops her head back in, surprised, then steps timidly out of her room. her white kimono with black trim hangs loose on her, emphasizing her gaunt cheeks and the bags under her eyes. She carries in her left hand a well-polished bow, and wears a quiver of arrows on her left shoulder blade. She timidly creeps down the stairs, scanning about the room nervously with her eyes.
Sinai nods to her friend, waiting for her patiently to come sit with her--hopefully, anyway...Hoping her drinking will not scare her newfound friend away. Korunue creeps over the the bar, sitting, looking about as if expecting some demon to take the roof off and pluck her from the room and eat her. She hunches her shoulders a bit as her head turns to look all around her. Not spying a threat, she sighs in releif, though keeps her guard up.
Sinai waves to her friend to come join her. "Korunue..." she hails quietly, knowing her friend's tense nerves. Korunue moves to a seat by Sinai, smiling at her in thanks. She lays the bow in her lap, plucking the string to be sure it is taunt and ready, though she knows, and suspects Sinai knows as well, that she would be too afraid to shoot at a real threat.
"How have you been today, Korunue? You seem distraught and tired..." Sinai says, as she drinks a long sip of her drink, leaning back in her chair, her finely detailed bow and quiver on the table next to her right arm, which is resting on the table.
Korunue shrugs. "The same..." she says, causally, though softly, as though ehr voice might call about any passing demons to come attack her. "and you? How are you today?"
Sinai shrugs. "Could b' better...could b' worse...No' in the greatest of moods taeday..." Her accent become more obvious as time passes--and as she drinks more of what is sat before her by Moe.
Korunue nods absently, preoccupied with what she was told before by the only other partial-blood she knows. Was it really as bad as he said? She didn't know. She needed to know. She wished he was here to explain.
"Does thae past e'er go away? Does it ha' tae keep coming back and slapping ye in thae face e'ery time ye turn around?" Sinai muttered to herself, not knowing or caring what she was drinking.
Korunue nods her head slowly. Her sentiments exactly. Well, not exactly... but her father's legacy caused her no end of problems. And still...."hopeless.... hmmm... I wonder..." she murmered, thinking over what Ronin had said.
"Hm..? " Sinai says, stopping herself from taking another drink of whatever it is she's drinking. "What was that?" She is curious as to what her friend is talking about.
Korunue shakes her head quickly. "oh, just thinking. I ran into Ronin earlier... that hanyou from last night. " She does not go on, but goes back to musing.
"Really? What did he have to say today?" She is somewhat curious, he seeming like a noble, intelligent hanyou.
Korunue looks down. "He told me I was being disgraceful, and that I should straighten up and not be so scared of everything...." she trails off, her voice fading to a near-whisper. "And he said I was hopeless."
"Ah...Well, I would have to agree with him on you not being sae scared...It's more of a hindrance than a help. Trust m', I know... I dinna know about ye' being hopeless...Incouragable, maybe...No' hopeless. I still ha' hope for ye..."Sinai smiles, looking really "sleepy", and briefly wonders if Korunue is noticing her friend getting really tipsy or not.
Korunue looks down. "but you're not part youkai." she whispers to her lap. She does not look up, and does not notice Sinai getting "tipsy", being lost in her on thoughts.
"Perhaps no', but that doesna mean I canna ha' hope for ye..."
Korunue whispers "but you don't understand. Nobody understands." she sighs, looking up, sniffing the air. She realises that her friend is getting rather drunk and falls silent, thinking her own thoughts.
"Help m' to understand, then..."
Korunue looks out the window. "you can't understand, not without being there, feeling it. It's like..." she frowns, thinking. "It's like, everyone hates you, even your kind. No, because you don't HAVE a kind. YOukai hate me for being too human, and humans for being too youkai. And all because of the stupid, stupid ears!" She is beginning to get worked up, and the last bit was said in a surge of anger.
Sinai frowns some. "You forget my background, my friend." She remembers the scars she's received...She opens up her buttoned up black shirt to show Korunue the scars on her shoulders, being discreet. "People have hated me all of my life. I have run from them most of my life...These are what they give me in return for my kindness...At one point, even my own parents hated me...My mother left me when I was young, knowing what I would be when I grew up...She didn't want to raise a dog of a daughter..."
Korunue looks down, ashamed. "But at least you know what you are." she murmers softly. "And I have my share of senseless injuries... This one demon likes to attack me , and won't tell me why... I suspect it is because I am what I am... for instence, it is painful to lay on my back, it has been re-injured so many times in so short a time.... And at least you had a family. My mother died, and my father abandoned me. I was raised by a youkai-hunter and a priest, for pete's sake! I never had real friends... I have always been alone. I will always be alone, it seems."
Sinai nods grimly. "We've both had turbulent childhoods." She smiles a little. "No, ye won't...Ye always ha' me..."
Korunue smiles weakly, unconvinced. "There is only one of me...none others like me.... so no-one else can truly understand. Hanyous look down on me, 3/4 youkai look down on me, and full youkai barely acknowldge my existance. I am an abomination."
"At least you've met others somewhat like ye...I ha' ne'er met another werebeing in all o' m' life...or at least been friends with one. "
Korunue snorts. "What good is it to even have others remotely like me, if they all hate me and look down on me! Just imagine, if there were hundreds and hundreds of higher-class werebeings who barely acknowladged your existance except to look at you like you were dog doo! Even my teacher.... he seemed nice, but all he wanted was my father's sword. He didn't give one lick about me."
"Dinna think there are such things as higher-class werebeings, but I get ye're point.." She nods grimly. "M' father was killed, along wi' m' brothers, in a fire m' neighbors set...all b'cause o' m'...." Said very softly, to herself, sipping her BloodWyne again."Was only 8...couldna ha' stopped them...could I? I always ask m'self that...Could I ha' stopped those prejudiced, one-way thinking fools? "
Korunue looks down. "I made sure nobody got hurt because of my father but me... " she whispers. "But I can't blame him for me... It's not his fault I'm so damn scared all the time... my worst fear was that someone would attack me for no reason; and the other day, they did. A few people. I suppose I had it pretty good until now... but now I fear I'll never act like a proper youkai." A silent tear dripped down to her lap.
Sinai nods, placing a gentle hand on her arm. "I see what ye mean, Korunue..."
Korunue looks down, sobbing softly. "And I failed my friend... I saved her, and I got her magic, but I wasn't fast enough... it was too late... her magic didn't take... and now... she's not even there; her body is there but her mind is somewhere else, and I can't do anything about it" she whispers, feeling once again the shame and pain of her recent failure.
Sinai stands, swaying a little. "I need tae b' gettin' myself on home...I have stuff tae do, and I needs tae eat soon..."
Korunue nods farewell, looking out the window, lost in thought once more. She closes her eyes, perfectly miserable.
Sinai gets her stuff, putting her cloak back on, and waves to Korunue. "I'm sorrah I'm runnin' out on ye...but I need tae eat somethin'..." She smiles, and remembers to pay Moe what she owes him, tossing him some coins, and as always, a little extra.She starts on her way home, swaying a little, but in a better mood because of the firewater.
************************ muuuuuuuuch later (like, several days) **********************************
Korunue sat at the bar timidly, nervously keeping an ear out for danger. Ronin strides through the doorway to the inn with a look of confidence in his eyes. He appears to be a tall man with long, dark grey that has a sort of reddish tint around the edges. On the top of his head there are two fox-like ears, both of them are the same dark grey as his hair, but have a little more red showing around the edges. The ears dart in various directions, scanning for any slight sound that might indicate danger. Korunue notices for the first time that he has eyes that are a blue-green mix in color and scan the area in front of him, also scanning for any signs of a threat. His shirt is a dark red, almost crimson color, and loose fitting with big open sleeves that could easily conceal a dagger or any other sort of small weapon. His pants are the same deep red color of his shirt, and would have the same big openings as his shirt, but they are tied off at his ankles. He doesnt wear any boots or shoes on his feet, preferring to go barefoot for more agility. Around his waist is a simple belt with a pair of large pouches on his left to hold healing herbs. On the right side of his belt there is a set of rings which hold his two swords, one hanging below the other. On the top is a wakizashi, and hanging right below it is a katana. He has the swords housed in an almost identical pair of scabbards. The shorter scabbard has various silver colored designs and symbols for good luck running down it, while the longer one has the same designs and symbols carved in red. Both blades are well oiled and ready to be drawn on a moments notice. Ronin unconciously reaches down to make sure the blades are loose in the scabbards as he walks in.
Korunue gasps, looking down immediatly in a submissive guesture. She fiddles with her bow, running her fingers over it idely, checking for blemishes or cracks. Finding none, she continues to run her fingers over it, for lack of something better to do.
Ronin spies Korunue and a low rumbling growl emerges from his throat. Her submissivness infuriates him, but that was not the worst thing she did. She has covered up her ears, denying what she truly is. The growl trials off as he stalks towards the bar, glaring at Korunue the whole time. Upon reaching the bar, he gives a loud grunt adn motions Moe over.
Korunue looks up at the growl, eyes widening in the fear that has become so familer to her. She gave a little yelp at the glare, hunching her shoulders and bowing her head submissivly. She lets out a small whine as a plea for him not to hurt her, and shut her eyes, waiting for the blow she felt sure would follow the growl.
Ronin lets a slight smile take his lips as Moe scurries away to fetch his drink. With nothing better to do till Moe arrives, he turns to face Korunue. His smile is quickly replaced by a scowl upon new sight of her bandana. "Why do you wear that thing?" He says motioning his index finger towards the bandana. "it certainly isn't going to do you any good to hide who you are."
Korunue looks down in shame, opening her eyes. "I... " she whispers, not even bothering to finish the sentence. What excuse could she possibly have that he would take? What could she say that would not get her smacked? But if she says nothing, he'd hit her. She remained silent, steeling herself for the blow.
Ronin narrows his eyes a little. "What's wrong? Can't you answer me?" He quickly raises his right hand, watching Korunue prepare to be hit. But he doesn't, instead he reaches out to her head and jerks the bandana off, freeing her little black dog ears.
Korunue jerks at the touch, her ears popping up to get some air. They are fluffy and black and pointed, very puppy-like, and they alter her whole appearance. Now, instead of looking thin and tired, she looks like a whipped, thin, tired puppy. Her ears flaten themselves, making the top of her head into a straight line. She cowers more, wimpering a little.
Ronin glances away from Korunue as Moe arrives with his ale. Moe is greeted by another low growl rising in Ronin's throat as Ronin tosses some coins on the table. "Good job, human." He says under his breath. Bringing the mug to his lips, he tastes the ale and finds it satisfactory. He turns back to Korunue. "See, nothing bad came from having your ears exposed."He says with a half scowl.
Korunue looks down, chastised. "That's because it's just you and me." she mumbles. She thinks hard, then looks up, eyes unreadable all of the suddan. She studies Ronin's face carefully, mustering up the courage to speak.
Ronin turns his half scowl back into a full scowl. "And what difference does it make if it is just you and me, or you and someone else...anyone else?" He examines her face, trying to read her thoughts. "It should not make a difference who is here either. Be proud of who you are, stop shying away from everyone." He shoots a glance over to Moe "You may even have to put up with some people you would rather not be around." Another low growl rises in his throat at the comment.
Korunue studies his face for another half a minute or more, seeming like an eternity. Finally she speaks. "What..." she croaks, her voice no more than a whisper, her throat suddanly dry. She swallows hard and tries again, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach for the moment. "What.... what did you mean, when you left the other day? Am I really... hopeless?" she asks, her voice betraying her nervousness.
Ronin finally loses his scowl. "is that what has been worrying you little one?" He tries to stiffle a small chuckle. "No, no you are not hopeless. I don't know of anyone who is truly hopeless." He sets the bandana on the bar and pats Korunue on her head. "You're already making improvements."
Korunue smiles a little uneasily. So why didn't she feel better? What was wrong with her? She frowned, looking down, brushing a tear away from her eye. Her ears remained droopy. She winced a little at each pat, flinching away from the touch.
Ronin pulls his hand back from Korunue's head and turns back to the bar, drinking from his mug once more. "You still don't look right, so what is wrong with you?" He asks. He seems to be trying to make conversation."And why do you always act so submissive?"
Korunue frowns. Why DOES she always act submissive? "I guess..." she says, puzzled. "I guess it's because... well, I'm so scared of everything..." her voice fades out to a whisper. She looks down again, shutting her eyes. "I know, I know... I'm such a failure... such a disgrace to youkai..." she whispers, more to herself than anyone else, her voice barely above a whisper.
Ronin sets down the now empty mug and lets out a small, contented sigh. "You shouldn't be scared of everything. You are youkai, or at least part youkai. You were trained to fight weren't you?" He appears to me a little more talkative now that he is relaxed.
Korunue nods, a small, nervous nod. "Hai, I was... " she whispers. "And shooting a target at school with my friends egging me on is one thing. I was quite good at that..." she smiles faintly at the memory. "But... well, you saw what happened last time I held a bow against another living person. " she sighs, a faint sigh, like she would say more but let the breath go instead. She took a deep breath in, then let it out slowly.
Ronin sorts through Korunue's words in his head for a few minutes. Sorting them out, trying to get the most from them that he can. "Well, when it comes down to it, you are going to have to learn to shoot properly....but I cannot teach you that, I never learned much with the yumi."
Korunue looks up. "Oh, I can shoot.... just not another, scary person. " she says. Then she hears another person enter, a satyr, and jumps, looking him over. She bows her head once more, silent, submissive, her ears going flat again. A human girl walks in soon after. Korunue lets one ear up to hear the newcomer, then flattens it again. She bows her head more, hunching her shoulders, though she knows this will annoy Ronin. She'd rather survive, and to her, this was the way to not call attention to herself.
The girl walked over to Ronin. "Greetings warrior would you be in need of any helping hand?"
Ronin jerks his ears towards the door followed by his eyes, and then his whole head. He nods at the satyr, and warily watches the human. When the human approaches him a low growl rises in his throat "Get away from me you damn human." His words are those of one who has been hurt before and is protecting themselves. Glancing over to Korunue he addresses her "Perk up your ears girl, you don't want this human to think you weak do you?" The growl never quite leaves his throat.
Korunue slowly puts her ears back up, though still cowering. They don't look nearly so defiant and strong as Ronin's. Like her, they seem timid, afraid, as of one who has been hurt many times before and fears being hurt again.
The girl began pestering Ronin, saying that she wasn't human, and that she'd tell what she was if he gave her a flower. He got madder and madder, until finally he lets loose a deep, throaty growl. "Why the hell would I want to give you a damn flower, human?" His hand slowly strays to the shorter sword at his side. "Answer me now, or begone with you." He seems rather serious about it.
Korunue catches sight of Ronin's hand and gasps, turning white, eyes wide with fear. She keeps her eyes trained on his sword, fluffy puppy ears twitching about to catch the sounds of everyone and everything. Her hands to to the bow in her lap: her right hand on the polished bamboo, her left to her left side, in a position to grap an arrow from the quiver on her shoulder blade, elbow back.
The woman seemed non-chalant, simply remarking that that was the price of her true name and identity. Ronin glares at the human "Go away then and don't bother me. I don't need your so called 'true name and identity'. It would serve me no purpose." He turns around towards Korunue, shaking his head. His hand never leaving the sword.
Korunue tenses, her eyes on Ronin. They are hard to read, holding fear and.... something else, though it's hard to place. Her left hand reaches to the feather on one of her bamboo arrows, though she leaves it in the quiver. "please..." she whispers, fright apparant in her voice. Did he hate her as much as he hated humans? Did he hate her BECAUSE she was mostly human? This new thought made her face drain of color again.
Ronin shakes his head at the human one more time as she vanishes out the door. "I would never trust a human." He says to Korunue "Maybe if they had a drop of youkai blood and had some honor in them. But not a full blooded human." He finally notices how tense she is and removes his hand from his sword. "You can relax now, little one." He adds as an afterthought.
Korunue looks down, ashamed. She lowers her hands to her lap. "Do you..." she begins, unable to finish her thought, as a tear drops to her lap. Her ears droop even lower than before, now pointing downwards rather than straight out to the sides.
Ronin glances at Korunue. "Raise your ears." He orders. He starts to wait for her to do so, but changes his mind and adds "Now, Do I what?"
Korunue hunches her shoulders, raising her ears a bit. They pointed up now, but only just. "do you... hate me?" she whispers, tensing up for a blow yet again.
Ronin almost snorts, he wasnt expecting a question like this. "No no no, I don't hate you, little one." He studies her for a moment, studying her position and features. "Why would you ask such a question? Is it because I am harsh with you?" He lets a grin take his lips "I am harsh with anyone who needs such treatment to get them back in line."
Korunue shakes her head. "I mean, do you hate me because of what I am? You seem to hate humans so... and I am so... so... unclean." she can't think of a better word,but manages to convey her disgust in that one word. She turns away, looking out the window. "most would hate me..." she whispers.
Ronin reaches his right hand out and pats Korunue on her back. "No, I don't hate you for what you are. You're three-quarters human, correct? Well that one-quarter youkai is what counts." He removes his hand from her and set it on the bar. "Now you should be proud of the youkai you have in you,"
Korunue looks out the window, processing this information. "proud..." she whispers. "proud." she says, a little louder, trying it out. "Proud!" her ears perk, then fall. "But... feh. pride, in being a... a monster, an abombination."
Ronin suddenly shoots his arm and and whaps Korunue upside the head. "You are not a monster, not an abomination. You are youkai, maybe not whole. But neither am I. Be proud of the youkai that you do have." He withraws his arm and places it back on the bar.
Korunue stands up quickly, her eyes wide in fear. She manages not to reach for her bow to shoot him... she lowers her gaze. "I should go to bed..." she mumbles, wanting to go have a good cry but not revealing it. "goodnight." she says, heading to her room at a pace slightly faster than a walk but slower than a run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End flashbacks! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And now.. she'd never see any of them again. She wondered breifly if they'd miss her, or even know- or care- if she was dead. She took a deep breath- time to signal her second. She began a mental prayer to Buddha so she'd get a good reincarnation, and began to lift her hand.
Arms! Enfolding her! She looked up, to see her father's face. How had he... she saw the worry in his eyes, as he held her close. He had been scared for her! But... she had failed Kagome, and herself... she deserved death. But she didn't want her father to worry... she sobbed, in his arms, as he held her close, murmering in her ear. She would live- for now.
all together now: "aaaaawwwwwwww!!" Now the sequal part can really start. This fic'll be slower paced than my other ones, mostly because this was an RP that took a few months. So by the end, you should feel you really know the characters, more so than in my other fics. IT'll just take a while longer...
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