Solace, chapter 5
Last chapter:
Korunue hushes, closing her eyes, tears slowing to a halt. She takes a deep breath, than another, but then deifes him once to say something more to Sinai. "Tonight... I had the intention to... ask you or Ronin to... the problem with seppuku is that it takes two people..." she trails off.
A/n- er, Demona is another char of mine... she's evil, that's all you need to know for now. ^_^
a/n 2- This chapter requires a bit of explaining. It's a bit of a crossover, but I can't help that. Aldrea is my other char... she was suicidal, and now she seems to be sleepwalking all the time. Yuki is cat-chan's char, Aldrea's best friend. They are going to try and force her to speak with a spell, and try and convince her to come back to the real world.
mindspeak
----`-@
Demona saunters through the emptey Inn, straight up the stairs, ignoring Moe. She wears a tunic and leggings at the moment, and appears to be a young human girl of maybe 20 or so with long brown hair. She carries a small hammer and a scroll. She heads upstairs, pausing at a certain door, knowing that only half it's occupants were home. She drove the scroll into the door with a pin and a few light taps of the hammer, smirking. It rolled back up when she let go of it. She cackled softly to herself and trotted down the hall, forcing herself not to play any other pranks for fear of discovary.
Korunue awakens, shivering slightly. Though she cannot see them, her lips are blue. She shakes her head to clear the snow off, and feels the goosebumps along her arms. She shivers, clenching her teeth to stop them from chattering. She looks regretfully at Ronin, wishing she was still asleep... but what had he said? "you have to stay alive, for yourself and me"... He didn't look cold at all, so she took her frozen bow and heads inside, looking regretfully back as snow covers Ronin.
Sinai hadn't noticed Korunue outside with her, noticing it is completely dark except for the white upon the ground and the light emitted from the Inn...Walks back outside to see if the other two had moved, remembering they fell asleep by the stable too, and checks. She whines to see both are still outside. Ye'll catch yer death out 'ere... She murmurs, actually smiling with her Wolven muzzle--something odd to see.
Korunue nods at Sinai, then creeps inside, drawing close to the fire, shivering still. She was damp from her night outside, and her lips were blue, and she was shivering. She sat really close to the fire, making sure her bow would thaw but not catch on fire. She knew it would never shoot the same, but...
Sinai barks at Moe, and he's already on it...He retrieves a couple of blankets, and takes them to Korunue There...Ye dinna have fur like I d'--at least tha' thick, anaway... She nuzzles up close to her after shaking most of the snow out of her fur.
Korunue accepts the blankets gratefully, wrapping them around herself and huddling in them. Her dog ears droop, but her teeth remina clenched to prevent chattering. She cannot see her lips, and holds herself rigid to stop the shivering. She would say that she's alright, but she can't talk and clench her teeth at the same time.
Sinai snuggles up against her, her own body heat hopefully helping her friend... It pays tae snuggle..
Korunue risks it, speaking through clenched teeth. "don't worry... I'm fine, really..." she mumbles, looking down, covering up the goosebumps and not knowing about her lips. "I am part youkai, after all... I can stand a little cold..."
Not sae much as stayin' outside all night, though...She shifts into her Human form, glad she can change and still have her clothes when she willingly changes, and hugs her friend to her so she may benefit from her body heat. "There...You're too cold--even for a youkai."
Korunue purses her lips, looking down. "Ronin's fine... and he's a hanyou... so I should be able to sleep outside if I want to. " she mumbles, unclenching her teeth, which begin to chatter. She clenches her jaw in a hurry, frowning. She sighs, wanting to say something about the night before... but, what to say? Best to leave it alone.
"Thanks...you know...for being there..." Sinai whispers, bowing her head. "And...About that one thing...I doubt I could ha' done it...I care about ye too much tae lose ye now tae m' own hands. Besides, it's kind o' a Rule o' Thumb not tae kill ye're best friends." She smiles warmly, but still with great sadness in her eyes.
Korunue shakes her head. "I should be the one to thank you... if it wasn't for you and Ronin..." she trails off, her left hand going to her belly instinctivly. "And on some level, I think I knew that... but... I had nobody else to ask, you see. " Her own voice drops to a whisper, the place eerily quiet.
"It's all right." The wolf-woman smiles warmly, still hugging her. "I find it an honor for you to have asked m'--e'en for what it was...It means you trust m' more than others. "
Korunue leans on Sinai, silent, staring at the crackling fire. A few moments pass. Finally, she speaks. "Don't tell Ronin, but... I still think about it. I don't think I could go through with it anymore, but... it's still at the back of my mind. All the time... "
Sinai nods. " I understand, Korunue...I am the same way...only less honorable about it...couldna strike m'self with a blade, or anathing like that...but I would run headlong intae a battle...Tis m' nature tae fight. I am a fighter. I couldna die by m' own hand."
Korunue nods, solumnly, then stands up. She sighs deeply, then looks down at her friend. "I should be off to bed... goodnight." she says simply, not wanting to talk about it more. She makes her way upstairs, wondering why she was so sleepy when she just woke up? She didn't see the note on her door because of the lack of good lighting as she went into her room.
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Yuki walks into the inn, looking a little worse for the wear. Her golden eyes are rimmed in red while her black cat ears and tail are ragged and ungroomed. Her knee length black hair cascades down her back in messy waves, her leather boots are travel worn and her black chineese style shirt and pants have seen better days. She wears a short sword on her hip and has a pack slung over her shoulders.
Korunue pokes her head out of the door. Her hair is tucked behind her shoulders, so it falls out of sight. A small chain can be seen, but the necklace is tucked under a black neckline. "yuki?" she asks, spying her. "Didja get Ayanami and the spell stuff?"
Yuki's tired eyes spot Korunue and she nods once, sharply, before going to sit by the fireplace.
Korunue ducks her head back in. After a moment, she re-appears, and goes to descend the staircase, in her normal white kimono with black trim. With her right hand, she led Aldrea. Something had changed about her, some look in her eyes. IT was hard for anyone who knew youaki to place, or for a true youkai to comprehend. Could it be.... defeat? No, no, surely it was... resignation, that's all. But... what was she resigned too? The fact that... no, no, surely it was the task ahead. More like concentration? But then, why did it look so much like defeat? Why did her ears droop like a fallen warrior?
Aldrea allowed herself to be led out of their shared room. She had wavy brown hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and was wearing a brown dress. She had a strange look in her eyes: it was as if she wasn't there at all. She did not make eye contact with anyone, but simply... was. She followed Korunue meekly, staring straight ahead, boots clunking on the stairs.
Korunue goes to sit by Yuki. She knew the other youaki would be able to tell something was wrong with her, and so she kept her head down. Shyness was not normal for a youkai, but at least it was more normal for her. She sighed heavily, sitting down and motioning for Aldrea to do the same. She smiled a tad when Aldrea did so, though she watched Yuki to see her reaction.
Yuki notices Korunue's uncharacteristical shyness "what's wrong?" Her voice is slightly rough with disuse. Outside, Ronin groans and slowly opens his eyes, trying to focus on whatever is in front of him, but all he can see is white. He shakes his head and realizes that all he is seeing is snow. He must have fallen asleep outside the other night, but where has Korunue gone to? Maybe she went inside. He stands up slowly, shaking the layer of snow off of him. He slowly checks his pouches and swords before crunching his way through the snow around to one of the inn's windows.
Korunue looks down, "er... nothing..." she should tell. They deserve to know. She shouldn't do this... but she wanted so badly to do something right for once, just once... she hated herself for being so selfish and not saying anything. She heard Ronin, and her eyes went wide. He might tell! No. She had to trust him with her secret. "ready to get started?"
Yuki surveys Korunue"You're lying."
Korunue meets Yuki's gaze. She holds it for a second, knowing the youkai could see the worry and sadness in her eyes... "I'm just... worried about Aldrea. Can we hurry and do this, or will we sit here all day?" It was true, she was worried... though not for the usual reasons. But the youkai would have no idea of any of this, luckily... not having been there.
Yuki nods slightly and rummages around in her pack" Now where did I put it..........."
Ronin smiles softly when he sees who is inside the inn. But, who is that human? and what are Korunue and Yuki doing? He decides maybe he shouldn't go inside just yet, this could be a good vantage spot. Settling himself up against the window he focuses one ear on the group inside, letting the other roam around, so he won't be snuck up on.
Yuki sits up, triumphantly clutching a jar of what looks like tea "The annoying one says that all we have to do is get Rea-chan to drink this as a tea."
Korunue looks excited. "And she'll be forced to talk to us! Then we can convince her to come back..." she takes the tea and hands it to Aldrea, saying softly, as though to a small child "drink up..."
Yuki takes the jar back "Baka, we have to actually MAKE the tea first."
Korunue blushes, looking down. "gomen ne..." she knew absolutely nothing about spells. One ear remained on Ronin, though the other moved from Yuki to Aldrea. She wouldn't actually look up at him, seeing that perhaps he didn't want his location revealed, but she knew he was there.
Yuki rummages in her pack again before pulling out a thermos full of hot water and adding some of the powder from the jar to the hot water"Let it sit for a few moments then we have to get her to drink it."
Korunue nods solumnly, wishing she had her bow to occupy her. She sighs, then remembers not to, for it might give her away. But her secret appeared safe... if Yuki knew, she wouldn't let her help Aldrea. And she HAD to help... otherwise she was just worthless.
Yuki waits a few minutes then unscrews the cap from the thermos and hands it to Korunue "Can you give it to her I'd like to find out why that Kitsune outside is watching us..."
Korunue takes the thermos. "That's Ronin... he's keeping an eye on me most likely. He worries about me sometimes. He may or may not come in, though... he hates humans." She offers the thermos to Aldrea.
"Ah." says Yuki, as Aldrea accepts the thermos and then, with Korunue's help, drinks some. She frowns at the taste but drinks it anyway. She wanted to help her friends... it was deeply buried in her subconcious to want to help.
Ronin jumps when he hears the comment about him. Damn, and he thought he had been quiet too...oh well. Ronin takes a few steps back from the window and crunches through the snow towards the porch. He stops to shake the rest of the snow off of himself before stepping onto the porch, but he pauses right before the door, not wanting to enter with that human in there.
Korunue watches Aldrea intently for a few minutes. "so, talk." she says to her, praying it worked. She hoped she hadn't done it wrong... She twists her ear to Ronin, but keeps her eyes on Aldrea.
Aldrea stares back, not meeting her friend's eyes. "what about." she says, flatly, so that it didn't even seem a question. Her voice was flat and dead to the extreme, the same tone as before having taken over her voice. The tone she always ended up with when she talked about death...
"Why do you keep going out of yourself, what would make you stay inside yourself?" asks Yuki,
Aldrea looks blankly at Yuki. "I am inside myself. Deep inside, where it doesn't hurt." she says, flatly, like a robot. Then, she says something more fitting with her personality: "and I don't intend to come out." it was said without any hint of defiance, just stated... but it was something Aldrea would say.
Yuki darts a quick glance to Korunue. "But you have to come out. I know it hurts, but if you don't come out then you'll never be able to find a way to make the hurt go away. And sometimes, pain is a good thing, you learn from it."
Ronin grumbles, no way he is going inside with that human. He reaches up and rubs his temples, he has a headache...just one more problem to add to the rest. But at least this one is easily fixed. Ronin leans up against the wall to the inn and slowly sits down. He reaches into one of his pouches and digs around for a moment, till he finds something that might help. Triumphantly, he pulls out a small bag with various sized pieces of willow bark in it.
Aldrea looks blankly at Yuki. "I'm happy here. You don't need me. Leave me alone." she states this matter-of-factly, flatly. her hand is on her belt pouch, but she ignores it.
Korunue takes a deep breath. "Aldrea... i need you..." she whispers softly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She hoped Ronin would not hear her next words. "it takes two to commit seppuku." she whispers.
Yuki turns a startled look on Korunue "What?!"
Ronin reaches into his bag and gets a piece of bark out, popping into his mouth to chew on it. He nearly chokes when he hears Korunue mention seppuku again. He stumbles up and hastily tucks the willow bag back into his pouch. At the same time he reaches into his shirt to make sure the seppuku dagger is still there. Good it still was, better get inside tho; before anything else happens.
Aldrea opened her eyes wide, looking into Korunue's for once. She takes a deep breath, then another... deep, raggid breaths... She shuts her eyes, then opens them again, sounding like herself when she speaks. "I don't like being tricked...." she starts to say, then a bright light glows from her belt pouch. "what the....?" she asks in wonderment, looking at it.
Korunue looks down, not responding to Yuki. She stares at the pouch where Aldrea's gem was kept... hoping against hope, praying that this was... it gave her something else to think about. She placed her left hand in front of her belly instinctivly.
Yuki continues staring at Korunue "What did you mean?" She demands. "Why would you want to commit seppuku?"
Aldrea just stares as the light goes brighter, brighter... as if in a dream, she opens it and removes a small red gem with a pink flame in it. The light came from the flame... it surounded Aldrea, then faded as quickly as it came. There was no fire in the gem afterwords. Aldrea shut her eyes, then held out her hand. A small pink flame appeared. She opened her eyes and smiled, for the first time in a long time. She looks at Korunue. "I still don't like being tricked."
Korunue looks down, mumbling softly "it wasn't a trick." She lifts up her kimono above her leggings, revealing a long cut, running left to right across her belly, with a small upcurve at the right side. She drops it a minute later, not looking at Ronin, ears drooping, eyes shut.
Yuki stares at Korunue in astonishment, her mouth opening and shutting like a fish out of water. She was shocked, to say the least. How could this happen?
Aldrea gasps, eyes wide. "why..." she asks softly, lifting the girl's chin to look in her eyes. She ignores the newcomer, waiting for a reply. "Why is your life so terrible all of the suddan?" she whispers to her, eyes tearing.
Korunue's own eyes fill with tears. "I couldn't... I'm so useless... I found my mother's killer, and I... I..." she breaks down in sobs. "I had my bow on him, and I couldn't... I couldn't... " she shuts her eyes to avoid Aldrea's glance. "I was going to tell you... " she says to Yuki, "but... I knew you wouldn't let me... I wanted to do something right... but i'm so selfish... I could have...."
YukiNeko slowly reaches over and hugs Korunue, gently rocking her back and forth. "I see......its ok........its ok.........your mother probably wouldn't have wanted you to kill him, even if he DID kill her........now stop crying........."
Ronin leans against the wall near the door, chewing on his willow bark and not wanting to go near the human with Korunue. Best to let the girl tell her story though, and be comforted by people that know her best. He swallows some of the bark juice and continues watching.
Korunue bows her head. "But... but I have to avenge her... I have to... it's not right... and I failed... and I couldn't even atone for it properly... and none of my friends would help me... " she sniffs. "I... I just want to do something right...." she murmers, looking down, ears drooping.
" You did do something right, you didn't kill someone who obviously deserves to die. That takes alot more will power and courage than to just openly kill them." murmers Yuki, trying to comfort her.. friend.
Aldrea puts a hand on the girl's shoulder. "If you really meant that..." she murmers, "if you really wanted death... I'd help you... but I don't belive you do. I think what you really want is life. You want to live, and be accepted, not to die alone." She swallows hard, remembering her own experiences with death. "And besides... you helped me. That was right. " she murmers, glancing at the hanyou watching them. Her eyes hold unfathomable sadness, a depth not usually found in eyes.
Korunue keeps her eyes closed, listening to Aldrea. She disagreed with Yuki, but didn't say anything. "thank you..." she whispers to Aldrea. Then she opens her eyes, confused. "But... why would you help me? I didn't help you... I made you stay alive, and be miserable... now I start to see how you felt... I'm such a bad friend..."
Ronin glaress at the human glancing at him. Slowly, steadily he walks towards the human. A low rumbling in his throat gets louder as he gets closer. Finally he reaches the human and leans down close to her ear. "You help her with seppuku, and I swear....you will not have long to live afterwards." he snarls into her ear. He jerks up and walking around behind Korunue. "And don't you ever speak of seppuku again." he says to her.
Aldrea looks at Korunue with pity. "no... nobody knows how I felt..." she whispers to herself, eyes seeing something not there, voice having a flat tone to it. She shakes her head and frowns at Korunue. "don't SAY that! No. You don't know how I felt. I refuse to belive that. If you did... no. I won't let that happen." she says out loud, half to herself, half to Korunue.
"neither will I..." interjects Yuki, a little lost.
Aldrea frowns at Ronin. "What do you know of this? When have you ever felt like this? This unbearable pain, sadness... only one who experienced it can know what it is like. Life is not worth half so much as people think... if she was that bad, and I actually did... well, you wouldn't get the chance to kill me. " she looks sad. "Because if I was able to help her... Yuki wouldn't be there, she wouldn't let me, and the only other one to stop me would be dead herself."
Korunue looks down, not saying anything. "I... it won't matter if I don't speak of it... it still haunts me." she mumbles. She looks at Aldrea, about to protest... then falls silent. She turns back to Ronin, pained. "but I won't... i'll just keep it to myself, if it makes you feel better..."
Ronin narrows his eyes at Aldrea. "Good, one less human to worry about." He turns to Korunue and smiles soflty. "Would be best if you didn't even let it cross your mind." he whispers into her ear.
Korunue growls at Ronin. "how can you say that? Look at her! Isn't she in enough pain?" she says, eyes filling with tears. She takes Aldrea's hand. "what if it were me?" she asks softly, knowing full well it could have been, and yet could be... "just because she's human doesn't make her evil... she's had it as bad as you, if not worse... and I can't control my thoughts." she whispers the last part to him, having said the first part louder.
Yuki glares daggers at Ronin, giving new meaning to the saying "If looks could kill". Aldrea takes Korunue's hand. "it's alright... many, many people would say the same... and it won't ever be you. I won't let it. " she smiles a little, eyes pained, knowing full well that there was nothing anyone could have done to help her before... she waves her free hand, and the sadness in her face goes away, replaced by a stern, determined face and brave eyes, with hope still in them... for Korunue's benifit, though it is an obvious illusion.
Ronin frowns, his ears drooping a little. "I've still never met a good human, why should she be any different." he points a finger at Aldrea and shoots a glare at Yuki at the same time. He nods slowly at Aldrea. "I know she has problems, but still...seppuku is not the way out. No matter if you failed to avenge your mother or not." he says, shooting a glance at Korunue, then reaching out to scratch Korunue behind the ears.
Aldrea looks at Ronin, looking at him long and hard. "Why do you insist upon it? For her sake, or your own?" she looks down at Korunue. "Keep that in mind. If the time came, I would help her... but there must be no hope altogether..." she winces, remembering when those words were said to her last... "And there is hope yet."
Korunue leans on Aldrea, swallowing and looking down. She sniffs, taking comfort in this guesture of frendship. She looks up at Ronin, awaiting his response. She shuts her eyes. "you don't have to answer" she whispers, not sure she wants to know the answer.
Ronin stares long and hard at Aldrea. Thinking about her question and how deep it had hit him. After a while he sighs and says "It's for both of our sakes.... I don't think I could handle it if she died." The last part is whispered, Ronin's voice starting to get raspy the more he thought about it.
Yuki gets a twitch in the nerve above her left eye as a beeping sound comes from her pack "What now?" She mutters as she starts to search in it for something.
Korunue cries silently. She hadn't realized how much she was hurting him... She shut her eyes. "I don't want to hurt you..." she whispers softly back. She releases Aldrea and sits on her own, legs bent beneath her, eyes shut, crying softly, chin in hand. "I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want to do something right..." she whispers, ears drooping.
Aldrea sits, a few tears tracing her own cheeks. She remembers... remembers... she turns to Korunue. "you did do something right... you hid my daggers, you found a way to help me... and after all, seppuku was supposed to be sacrificing youself for failing to help your mother? But wouldn't the greater sacrifice be living with it, every day?" she whispers, wincing, knowing how much it would hurt Korunue to hear that.
Ronin blinks for a minute, this was getting to be way over his head. He sighs and walks around to slump into one of the chairs. He closes his eyes and chews on the willow bark that he had forgotten about, now that his headache had returned.
Yuki finally finds what she's been searching for, what looks like a hand mirror with buttons. She presses one and growls at the person whose face appears in it. She listens as the person says something then sighs and shuts it off by pressing another button. She turns apologetically to the other two "I have to go, as much as I don't want to. One of my cousins has a crisis and needs my help."
Aldrea sees Korunue's silence and continues. "I know.. it hurts... but... you'll move on, grow up, have a good life... duty isn't everything. You have to ask yourself: do you really want to die, or do you just feel you need to?" She looks at Yuki, who seems to be getting called away... "Thank you both for helping me." she says, her voice weary and sad. She drops the illusion, finding it to be tiresome, and the full intensity of sadness in her eyes returns.
Yuki stands up and picks up her pack "I'll be back as soon as I can." She turns on her heel and walks out the door.
Korunue sighs, her tears finally ceasing. She takes a deep breath, then another, calming herself. She doesn't look at Ronin. "I know... I'm a weakling... you don't have to say so..." she tells him, sadly.
Aldrea notes that Korunue didn't answer her question... but also notes that her next thought is for Ronin and is quiet. Perhaps Korunue didn't want to say in front of Ronin? Well, no matter. Korunue had guarded over her for so long.. she would watch out for Korunue for a while. Just in case the answer was the former...
Ronin just shakes his head, he has a lot to think about and can't focus to talk to Korunue. He stares at her, thinking about what all he had heard. Ronin looks into Korunue's eyes, like he wants to communicate wthout speaking.
Korunue meets his eyes, then looks away, ashamed of herself. "I won't... I don't want to hurt anyone..." she murmers. "I'll stay.... alive." she murmers, though the words are hard to get out.
Aldrea takes something out of a pouch on her belt: a crumpled scroll. She hands it to Korunue. "was this important? you tossed it onto my bed... I took it for you." She tries to get Korunue to think of something else... that often helped her.
Korunue takes the note, glad for something else to think about. She recognizes it as the note she had taken off of her door on the way in, assuming it to be a notice of some festival or something for Aldrea, who shares the room with her. She opens it, and gasps, crumpling it at once. She only reads it once, quickly, before she crumples it again, fresh tears forming. She shuts her eyes, wimpering softly, note in hand.
Aldrea gently takes the note from Korunue's hand and reads it, turning white. "Who would do such a thing?" she wonders aloud, then looks at the crying girl. She looks grim, and places a hand on her shoulder. The hand begins to glow slightly.
Korunue drops off to sleep under the influence of the spell, looking peaceful for once. She stops crying, leaning over, curling up like a baby, sleeping soundly. Her breath comes easier, her eyes are shut, and she looks just plain cute lying there.
Ronin glares at Aldrea, another low rumbling rising from his throat "What did you do to her?" he asks, trying to mask the concern in his voice. Noticing Aldrea concentrating on changling he turns to have a lookc himself, jsut in time to catch her walking out the door. He turns agan to look at Korunue trying to decide if he should kill Aldrea or just tolerate her.
Aldrea turns to Ronin. She catches a faint hint of concern in his voice, and hears the growl, and chooses her words carefully, lest he tear her apart and get Korunue all bloody as well as sadder. "Relax... she's just asleep. I thought that she needed to sleep some of this off... and the note was too much of a shock for her." she hands the note to Ronin.
The note was hand-written in a scrawl, reading "Go home, bitch, we don't serve your kind here." It also contained a crude drawing of a dead dog, with Xs for eyes, on it's back.
Ronin stops growling when Aldrea explains what she had done, but he immediately resumed his growling, louder than before, when he read the note. He started mumbling "I'll kill them, kill them all." over and over. He seems to be shaking a little it too.
Aldrea watches Korunue as she stirs in her sleep a little. She frowns. She understands that he's upset... but still... "kill all who?" she asks softly. "do you know who did this?" her voice is really, really soft and pleasant, as she feels what she has not in months: fear. For herself, as well as for Korunue.
Ronin stops shaking and turns to look at Aldrea, a strange look in his eyes. "Whoever did this of course...and anyone who tries something." The look in his eyes changes, to something along the lines of affection.
Aldrea looks down at Korunue. "then you have sealed her fate." she says sadly, compassion in her eyes. She sighs, a deep, meloncholy sigh, as if the world was ending and she could do nothing. She shuts her eyes slowly, thinking.She takes a deep breath, queing up the all-too-familer spell in the back of her mind: the sheild spell, ready to go minus the power integer. She takes a deep breath and looks at Ronin, opening her eyes. "I cannot let you do that... go on a killing spree, murder anyone for her sake... " she tells him boldly, though her eyes are not defiant but sad, full of compassion.
Ronin slowly lifts his head, staring blankly at Aldrea. "You couldn't stop me." he says, his voice sounding sort of surreal, with a slight tint of anger. He slowly rises to his full height "There is no way you could stop me!" His hand strays to his shorter sword, the other reaching into his shirt where he put the seppuku dagger he had recieved from Korunue the other day. Ronin pulls a dagger from his shirt, holding it in a throwing position. "I won't kill anyone because of her, I'll kill them to keep them from hurting her." He draws his wakizashi, holding it in a defensive position. "Now, are you going to stop me?"
Aldrea doesn't activate her spell yet... she doesn't have the strength to keep it up long... "She won't see it that way, will she?" she asks softly, eyes on the knife. She has another idea... she places a hand on Korunue's arm, and it glows faintly once more, as she murmers under her breath a little.
Ronin growls "What are you doing now?" His arm draws back, ready to throw the dagger at any moment. He eyes Aldrea, deciding where would be the best place to put the dagger. Her heart? her head? maybe just her arm as a distraction so he could come in with the sword... "Damn humans, always thinking up something." he mutters.
Korunue begins to stir a little under the touch, as Aldrea's spell wakens her. She moans a bit, then looks to Ronin, eyes widening. She screams, a quick scream, and sits up fast, making her head hurt. Her face is flush, a little, in addition to showing fear.
Aldrea winces a bit at the scream, frowning, not expecting her friend's reaction to be so strong.. she curses herself under her breath and places a hand on Korunue's arm. No magic this time... the effect is meant to be comforting, no more.
Ronin quickly puts his sword and dagger away to kneel next to Korunue. "Calm down, itll be alright." He places a hand on her head, scratching behind her ears like always. "Im not gonna hurt Aldrea."
Korunue calms down a little. "Why..." she frowns. "Why did you have your blades out in the first place?" she asks, lip quvering a little, ears straight out from the sides of her head. Her eyes are questioning. Aldrea looks sad, moving aside so the two can be together. She lets the spell go from her mind, confidant it will be there next time... how wonderful, to have magic again, ready for use... later, she would do some spells to make it so that nobody could ever take it from her again.
Ronin smiles softly at Korunue "I thought she was gonna hurt you....you can't trust humans." he says shooting a glance towards Aldrea.
Aldrea returns his gaze, strangly without hate in her eyes... "you forgot to mention the part about killing them all." she says levally, not blinking.
Korunue smiles a little at his statement. "you don't have to worry so much about me... she wouldn't hurt me.." then she hears Aldrea's statement. "Kill all who?" she asks, frowning a little, her expression unreadable.
Ronin scowls at Aldrea. "She probably wouldn't, but you can never be sure around humans." He turns back to Korunue. "Kill anyone who tries to hurt you I meant." She didn't tell the full extent of his sentence, just like a human, butcher words for her own good.
Korunue gasps, putting a hand to her mouth. "no... surely not for me..." she whispers, horrified. "You don't... no... " she shakes her head. "don't... it's wrong..." she murmers, looking down, ashamed of herself. She doesn't look quite right... looking a little woozy...
Aldrea looks saddened. Of course, she knew he would tell... she meant him to. "don't scowl at me." she tells him. "I thought she might want to know if people who harm her suddanly turn up dead." She smiles a little, her eyes still sad, her overall expresison unreadable. The smile fades quickly. "I warned you... If you do this, you will have sealed her fate." She doesn't expect Korunue to understand. She looks at Korunue, tilting her head, concerned, the question dying on her lips.
Korunue looks from Aldrea to Ronin, then back, her face flushed. She didn't look quite right still... she sneezes, a small, dry, puppy-sneeze descreetly covered by her hand.
Ronin turns to Aldrea "And if they wind up dead, then they can't hurt her again." he snarls. Hearing Korunue sneeze he turns back to her. Ronin examines Korunue, looking her over thoughtfully. "You don't look so well." he says after some time. "Did you get sick out in the cold the other night?"
Aldrea looks at Ronin, a strange expression on her face. "If they wind up dead, you will lose her." she says simply, tone bordering on flat. "snarling at me won't help her any either." She looks him over, then sighs, standing up. "I can see I'm not wanted here... I'll be upstairs, Kor." she says, turning and walking upstairs to their room.
Korunue blinks. "no... of course not... I'm part youkai, I can take a little cold weather." she asserts, her face flushed. She does not sneeze again, though she does not look well. She glances to Aldrea and sighs.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "You're inu youkai, not kitsune youkai, and I don't think you've had the time outside that I have." He jerks at the tap on his back. and spins around still in a crouch. He scans the area around him.
Korunue has a fever, as Ronin will note. She bites her lip. "yeah, well..." she mumers quietly. She looks down, ashamed of having hidden her sickness from him. She tries to change the subject. "What were you and Ally talking about while I was asleep?" she asks, inncently, wondering what Aldrea had meant by "you'll lose her".
He turns back to Korunue. "You've got a fever, but I've got some herbs that should help a little."
Korunue nods. She frowns a little. "Later..." she says. "Aldrea might have something, and I'm sleepy." She yawns, starting to get up. Her legs felt rubbery all of the suddan, and she collapsed back onto the couch. "Or not..." she says, frowning. She yawns again. "g'night.." she murmers, streaching out and falling asleep on the couch, her hair covering part of her face.
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Ronin shakes himself awake in a chair near the couch. Korunue steps boldy out of her room. She wore her normal white kimono with black trim, and near-silant slippes. She had a new piece of apparal tonight: a red leather choker with a dangling red ruby on it. But the oddest thing was that not only was she not wearing her bandanna, she also lacked her fluffy puppy ears. She noticed Ronin and gasped, hopping back into her room, hopefully too fast to be noticed by him.
Korunue returns, this time with a small black bandanna on her head. It is a tad too flat, but she looks more normal. She avoids Ronin's eyes, looking down, heading to sit on the couch near him, though not too near. "hello." she says, with a hint of a smile in her voice, though tensing for a blow.
Ronin glances over towards Korunue, studying her, he notices somethign is different about her, but can't quite put his finger on it. His eyes slowly roam over her features, from the feet up, trying to notice even the slightest change. He focuses on her neck for a moment, studying the choker. Slowly his eyes work their way up, past her face, to her bandana. "I thought I told you not to wear that." he says, anger barely tinting his voice.
Korunue shrinks away from him. "I know..." she murmers, looking down. "but..." she trails off. To finish the protest would be to reveal... she takes a deep breath, trying to enjoy the last moments before he would find out and hate her.
Ronin narrows his eyes towards Korunue. "But what?" he asks icily. "Take off the bandana. You're part youkai are you not? Take it off." He lefts his right hand slowly, aiming ot remove the bandana himself if she didnt.
Korunue looks at her toes, to allow him to remove it himself. She hopes he won't, for some reason... she wants things to stay as they were the last time they were together. But not enough to sacrifice everything... she remained silent.
Ronin moves his hand to Korunues hand and touches the bandana. He blinks for a second and his mouth drops open in surprise and he starts to feel around Korunu's head, kind of like he is searching for something. Finally he yanks the bandana off of Korunue's head and stares openly at her. "What in the world did you do to your ears little one?" he says, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "Tell me you didnt cut them off."
Korunue lowers her head, her hair flat against her head, no sign of her ears. "I..." she says, faltering. This was it: the moment of truth. She held her hair back in a ponytail, revealing two human ears by the sides of her head. She lets the hair drop, a tear forming. "It... It's only an illusion, but..."
Ronin starts to growl, low and deep in his throat. "It was that damn, meddling human wasn't it? The one you and the other youkai were talking to the other day. She did this did this didn't she." He makes a move like he is fixing to stand, his hand dropping the bandana and moving towards his sword.
Korunue looks up suddanly. "no! I mean..." she looks down. "it was her..." she looks back up at him. "But I asked her to! I swear! It was all my idea! Don't blame her, really, it was all me. If I had magic I would have done it myself..." she looks down at her lap. "long ago." she finishes, ashamed.
Ronin slowly stops growling, the lasts echoes dying in his throat. "But why would you want to look human? Humans are weak. I'd much rather be an ikkiyou than a human any day." he says, rather seriously.
Korunue looks away from him. "It's true, I can't deny what I am. I am an abomination, and I always will be. But... I can't deny what I need. I... I don't know how much teasing I can take, how much hatred... but I know it can't be much more than I have. I... I', not like you. I'm weak... you could take it, but I... " she trails off, looking out the window.
Ronin frowns again, blinking for a minute while digesting Korunue's words. "Of course you can't deny what you are, but you aren't an abomination. You never were, and you certainly never shall be." He lets her ponder this for a moment before continuing. "And what makes you think you are weak. You are youkai, are you not? That in itself makes you tougher than a human. Now how is that spell cast on you. I want you to remove it right now."
Korunue shakes her head. "No. I may be strong, physically... it's not my part human side that makes me weak, but my personality... I'm not like you, Ronin... I care too much. I can't pull off that decil-may-care attitude like you can... I can fake, for a while, but it's too much..." she looks down, wiping away another tear.
Sinai yawns as she had fallen asleep in front of the fire, curled up into a ball, having came in the middle of the night one night looking for an elf...has been there ever since, either sleeping, drinking tea/BloodWyne, or hunting near the Inn so she could meet up with her. She is in her wolf form, looking much like a large dog. Ronin lets out a long, low sigh. " Still, remove the illusion. It isn't proper for you to hide your true self. Now get rid of it." the last part is almost growled out, like an order. "You're going to have to be tough, otherwise humans will take advantage of you and hurt you."
Sinai mind-talks in her sleep, whimpering and whining. No...no...don't...no...please...I'll be good. I won't scratch at the fweeze or chase the chickens no more...no..NO!... She whines some more, almost barking in her sleep.
Korunue shakes her head. "What part of 'I can't take it' don't you understand!?" she asks, sounding sad, not allowing herself to be angry. She sucumbs to the hurt.. hurt never led to possesion. She remains silent, thinking, staring out the window.
Why? What did I do? I pwomise I won' do it again...No...Alex and Patwick and Nethaniel are in dere...Daddy! Daddy's in there too! NO! Don' burn my house down...PWEEZE... sinai mind-says. She suddanly awakens to her own cries and yelps, feeling an ember in the fur of her tail, having been dreaming when she tried to save her family...and failed...She flicks the ember out and back into the fire with good graces.
Ronin tries to ignore the voice in his head and concentrates on Korunue. Both ears pointed towards her. "You can't take it? What do you mean you can't take it? You're an ikkiyou, you can take it." he stares directly into Korunue's eyes the whole time he is talking to her.
Korunue takes a deep breath, facing him. "I can't... I meant that. I just... it's been so long, trying not to show it, hiding how much it hurts, taking more and more, showing nothing... I just can't do it anymore. " She looks to Sinai, for a distraction. "are you alright?"
Just a bad dream... She smiles a little weakly, her eyes displaying everything.
Ronin places a hand on Korunue's shoulder. "Yes you can, it hasnt been that long for you I think. It jsut feels that way. Now, please, remove the illusion." He tries to get his eye contact with Korunue back, trying to get her to focus on him again.
Korunue refuses to look at him. She can't belive how much this hurt... she looked at Sinai, nodding to her. "that's good then... dreams arn't real." she loses focus, falling into deep thought. She sighs, not paying attention to anything at all in particular outside of her own thoughts. Sinai sighs again, and sits up on her haunches, looking very sad and in need of a good scratching/rubbing
Ronin lifts his left hand and places it on Korunue's cheek, trying to gently turn her eyes back to look into his. "Remove the illusion please." he says with a fierce steadiness, trying to contain his anger.
Korunue blanches away from his eyes, sensing the anger within. Could it be.. he hated her? She said nothing, thinking hard. Then, she understood a little, adn stopped thinking, and started FEELING. She frowned, trying to process this new information, identify the source of this hurt...
Ronin starts to growl, even though he tries his best not to. "Remove the illusion Korunue." he says, his voice no longer steady. His hand starting to shake a little bit.
Sinai yawns a jaw-cracking yawn, then moves into the Kitchen so she could change into her Human form, changing so no one has to see her change, still liking to keep it a secret...MOves back out in the same clothes she had appeared at the Inn with several days ago.
Korunue looks at him, her breath raggady. She shuts her eyes, trying to decide what was right. Finally, it clicked: it all made sense now. But... was it too late? She took a deep breath and begun. "I... I can't deny what I want... " she mumbles, searching for words.
Ronin suddenly stops shaking, the growl in his throat subsiding once again. "And what is it you want ikkiyou?" he asks. His voice is calm again and no longer carries the threatening tone that it had just a few secdons earlier.
Korunue forced herself to keep his gaze. "I want.. I need... " She made up her mind and slowly removed the choker. Her fluffy ears appeared in an instant, the spell removed. "I... I cannot take much more teasing. But... I would rather face a lifetime of suffering and torment, or even end my life by my own hand, then have you hate me so." she frowns, looking down. "But... I screwed up. It appears I won't get a choice, but all of the above..." She hands him the choker and stands, heading towards the stairs. This was it. She couldn't possibly feel any worse. She wanted... she needed.. to die. She had no purpose in living, if he hated her... she had no reason to stay alive and every reason to die. Would she be missed? Probably not. Who would go to an ikkiyou's funeral? Nobody. She'd be alone, now and for eternity. Her eyes showed nothing- she was in shock, too tormented to show anything. She was resigned: she had to die.
Sinai blinks, seeing Korunue's ears suddenly go from being human to youkai again, and is confused as she sees her run back up to her room.
Ronin stares blankly at the choker in his hand for a moment, then turns his head; watching Korunue make her way towards the stairs. He has trouble digesting her words. "Did she jsut say she is going to go kill herself?" he asks himself. Suddenly he stands and tossing the choker towards the fire, sprints towards the stairs to stop Korunue from going to her room. Sinai blinks a few more times, and suddenly hears what Ronin has stated, and runs up the stairs after him and Korunue.
Korunue continues on her way, ears forward, too wrapped up in her own feelings to notice him chasing after her. She reaches the bottem of the stairs, and begins to climb, slowly, as if in a daze. It was too much to handle... the new emotions, the hurt... Sinai called out to her, "Korunue!". She pauses a moment at the bottem of the stairs, hearing her name... but it was too hard to face her friend now. She began to climb the stairs,faster than before, hoping to reach the top before Sinai reached her and stopped her, making her seem weaker to Ronin than before.
Ronin is statled by Sinai, loses his footing and slides into the wall next to the stairs. "Korunue!" he yelps right before he hits. Ronin bounces off the wall and lands at the foot of the stairs. "Korunue!" he calls out again, slowly staggering to his feet and leaping up the stairs. Finally he reaches Korunue and reaches out to place a hand firmly on her shoulder. "Korunue...."
Sinai isn't full-out running, but is in a hurry to catch up to her, following Ronin...Sees him fall, and was about to help him back up, but he was too fast for her, and she just follows. "Why d' you want to do that?" Meaning what Korunue had told Ronin, showing that she had suddenly eavesdropped on their conversation--how could she not, though, with them so close?
Korunue jumps, turning slowly to face him. She can't meet his eyes, for fear of the hatred she will find withen. She looks instead at the ground, looking thouraghly miserable. Her ears droop lower than ever before, and hot tears spill from her eyes. She can't take any harsh words from him, and attempts to pull away a little.
Ronin can't finish and instead places hisindex finger under her chin, pulling her face up till she can look him in the eye. He smiles softly and tries to speak again, but just can't seem to find the words. Instead, he wraps his arms around Korunue and pulls her close, hugging her gently. Eventually he finds a few words to speak "...I don't hate you....I...I..." still he can't finish the sentence though and simply places a hand on the back of Korunue's head and holds her.
Korunue looks into his eyes, her own purple eyes filling with tears. She takes a deep, ragady breath, then another, eyes shutting against the pain. She opens them and searches his own eyes for any sign of anger, or hatred. "you... you don't?" she whispers, her voice scarecly above a whisper.
Ronin cant help but smile at Korunue and nod slowly. "No, I don't hate you. I worry about you." he whispers back. "I never hated you." he hugs her tighter, not wanting to end the moment.
Sinai smiles warmly, hearing such words, and knows things will be well, but before she moves back down the stairs, she whispers to Korunue and Korunue alone within her mind. He loves you, m' friend. He's only rough at times because he loves you. He doesn't mean to be rough. He simply wishes for you to be happy. I can see it in his eyes. He cares. Greatly. With that, walks to the front door of the Inn, grabs her cloak and boots, putting them on before leaving as well as her weapons after drinking the last of her tea, leaving the cup for Moe or a barmaid to get, then walks outside
Korunue breathes harder, hearing the private words from her friend in addition to Ronin's words. She allows herself to be hugged, shutting her eyes as tears fall from her cheeks. She pulls back, looking him in the eyes. "I..." she stumbles, then takes a deep breath. "I.. I think I... I know this sounds weak, but I... I think I love you." she said it at last, what she had been pondering for weeks. She took a deep breath and turned away, waiting for him to say that she is weak.
Ronin takes a deep breath and leans up behind Korunue to whisper into her ear. "...I think I may love you too..." Hearing such words from Ronin, Sinai's tempted to tell him not to hurt Korunue, but doesn't, knowing that they will be happy together...Walks outside, walking slowly through the snow, ambling around the edge of the forest, faintly realizing she's hanging around the stable of the Inn still.
Korunue turns white, a sharp intake of breath, her mouth puckering... it slowly turns to a wide smile, her eyes brightening with a light unseen in her for many a day. "you mean it?" she asks, her whole face lighting up. She laughs, softly, short bursts of breath, mouth open in a wide grin. It turns to a real, eye-crinkling laugh, full and hearty. "I'm so happy..." she whispers, still grinning. She looks it, too. She smiles, lowering her eyes modestly.
Ronin slowly turns his smile into a grin and has to struggle to keep from laughing. "I'm glad you're happy" he says with an ever broadening grin. He hugs her again, not wanting to end the moment.
Korunue looks sheepishly at Ronin, then suddanly leans forward and plants a kiss on his lips. She pulls back quickly, ashamed, looking down, as if thnking 'what the hell was I doing?' she looks at her toes, grin fading, assuming his wrath will be on her.
Ronin stands in stunned silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open a bit. Then he regains his grin, broader than ever and reaches and places his index finger under Korunue's chin again, raising her face back up to his. He quickly darts forward and gives Korunue a good solid kiss on her lips and pulls back grinning.
Korunue grins, the happiest she's been since they arrived here. She looks about, noticing the amount of people there and grows embarrased, her cheeks blushing. She leads Ronin towards the door, heading to the spot behind the stable where they could talk, and kiss, away from prying eyes. Ronin follows Korunue quickly, ears still alert, trying to catch every sound around him. Trying to keep Korunue out of harms way, what with all the strange, depressed people around. "You gonna get cold out here Kor?" he asks quietly, only intending for her to hear him.
Korunue smiles at him. "of course not... or else I wouldn't have come out here. I won't sleep out here... just talk for a while." She looks a little worried, remembering their last talk... and earlier... she sighs, wondering if she'll ever be free of her morbid thoughts.
Ronin nods at Korunue and leans up against the stabel, slowly sliding down to sit cross-legged against the wall. He looks up at Korunue "Its pretty comfortable down here, you want to sit down?" he says, he doesnt have a big grin anymore, but he does have a smile.
Korunue takes a deep breath, thinking. She fiddles with a lock of her hair, as a thought offcurs to her: she could ruin all this, just by... "But... I meant it when I said I don't know how much more I can take..." she murmers to the ground, happiness fading fast. She looks him in the eye. "Promise me.. you'll never let me think about... that... again." The one think she always refuses to name...
Ronin looks at Korunue blankly for a moment, then reaches up and pulls her down next to him. "I won't let you think like that again, anyone who bothers you will have to answer to me now." he says with a grin. He puts an arm around Korunue and pulls her close "I promise."
Korunue smiles, giving a small, contented sigh. it felt like forever since she had someone to love her... she leans on Ronin. "don't let me fall asleep now..." she mumers. "being sick sucks." She smiled at him, then decides that she sounds too dependant on him. Though, she was.. but she decided to stop asking him to do stuff for her.
Ronin nods at Korunue and leans down to kiss her once more "I'll make sure you get inside if you do fall asleep." he whispers to her. Sighing, he leans his head back against the wall and lets out a breath he hadnt realized he had been holding. It sure felt good to be comfortable and loved.
Korunue smiled. She sighs, half contentment, half in sadness. She looks at him. "so... tell me about you." she says. "we always talk about me." She seems happier than last time they were out there. She sighs, half in contentment, half in longing. She yawns, a wide yawn, and falls asleep, despite her intentions to stay up. She looks peaceful and content, asleep.
All together now: aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww
BTW, I've asked Jeff to co-write this chappie... after I posted the logs and stuff, I had him go through and edit and add stuff... so there may be another author's note, or summit.. lol. REVIEW. -QOB
Last chapter:
Korunue hushes, closing her eyes, tears slowing to a halt. She takes a deep breath, than another, but then deifes him once to say something more to Sinai. "Tonight... I had the intention to... ask you or Ronin to... the problem with seppuku is that it takes two people..." she trails off.
A/n- er, Demona is another char of mine... she's evil, that's all you need to know for now. ^_^
a/n 2- This chapter requires a bit of explaining. It's a bit of a crossover, but I can't help that. Aldrea is my other char... she was suicidal, and now she seems to be sleepwalking all the time. Yuki is cat-chan's char, Aldrea's best friend. They are going to try and force her to speak with a spell, and try and convince her to come back to the real world.
mindspeak
----`-@
Demona saunters through the emptey Inn, straight up the stairs, ignoring Moe. She wears a tunic and leggings at the moment, and appears to be a young human girl of maybe 20 or so with long brown hair. She carries a small hammer and a scroll. She heads upstairs, pausing at a certain door, knowing that only half it's occupants were home. She drove the scroll into the door with a pin and a few light taps of the hammer, smirking. It rolled back up when she let go of it. She cackled softly to herself and trotted down the hall, forcing herself not to play any other pranks for fear of discovary.
Korunue awakens, shivering slightly. Though she cannot see them, her lips are blue. She shakes her head to clear the snow off, and feels the goosebumps along her arms. She shivers, clenching her teeth to stop them from chattering. She looks regretfully at Ronin, wishing she was still asleep... but what had he said? "you have to stay alive, for yourself and me"... He didn't look cold at all, so she took her frozen bow and heads inside, looking regretfully back as snow covers Ronin.
Sinai hadn't noticed Korunue outside with her, noticing it is completely dark except for the white upon the ground and the light emitted from the Inn...Walks back outside to see if the other two had moved, remembering they fell asleep by the stable too, and checks. She whines to see both are still outside. Ye'll catch yer death out 'ere... She murmurs, actually smiling with her Wolven muzzle--something odd to see.
Korunue nods at Sinai, then creeps inside, drawing close to the fire, shivering still. She was damp from her night outside, and her lips were blue, and she was shivering. She sat really close to the fire, making sure her bow would thaw but not catch on fire. She knew it would never shoot the same, but...
Sinai barks at Moe, and he's already on it...He retrieves a couple of blankets, and takes them to Korunue There...Ye dinna have fur like I d'--at least tha' thick, anaway... She nuzzles up close to her after shaking most of the snow out of her fur.
Korunue accepts the blankets gratefully, wrapping them around herself and huddling in them. Her dog ears droop, but her teeth remina clenched to prevent chattering. She cannot see her lips, and holds herself rigid to stop the shivering. She would say that she's alright, but she can't talk and clench her teeth at the same time.
Sinai snuggles up against her, her own body heat hopefully helping her friend... It pays tae snuggle..
Korunue risks it, speaking through clenched teeth. "don't worry... I'm fine, really..." she mumbles, looking down, covering up the goosebumps and not knowing about her lips. "I am part youkai, after all... I can stand a little cold..."
Not sae much as stayin' outside all night, though...She shifts into her Human form, glad she can change and still have her clothes when she willingly changes, and hugs her friend to her so she may benefit from her body heat. "There...You're too cold--even for a youkai."
Korunue purses her lips, looking down. "Ronin's fine... and he's a hanyou... so I should be able to sleep outside if I want to. " she mumbles, unclenching her teeth, which begin to chatter. She clenches her jaw in a hurry, frowning. She sighs, wanting to say something about the night before... but, what to say? Best to leave it alone.
"Thanks...you know...for being there..." Sinai whispers, bowing her head. "And...About that one thing...I doubt I could ha' done it...I care about ye too much tae lose ye now tae m' own hands. Besides, it's kind o' a Rule o' Thumb not tae kill ye're best friends." She smiles warmly, but still with great sadness in her eyes.
Korunue shakes her head. "I should be the one to thank you... if it wasn't for you and Ronin..." she trails off, her left hand going to her belly instinctivly. "And on some level, I think I knew that... but... I had nobody else to ask, you see. " Her own voice drops to a whisper, the place eerily quiet.
"It's all right." The wolf-woman smiles warmly, still hugging her. "I find it an honor for you to have asked m'--e'en for what it was...It means you trust m' more than others. "
Korunue leans on Sinai, silent, staring at the crackling fire. A few moments pass. Finally, she speaks. "Don't tell Ronin, but... I still think about it. I don't think I could go through with it anymore, but... it's still at the back of my mind. All the time... "
Sinai nods. " I understand, Korunue...I am the same way...only less honorable about it...couldna strike m'self with a blade, or anathing like that...but I would run headlong intae a battle...Tis m' nature tae fight. I am a fighter. I couldna die by m' own hand."
Korunue nods, solumnly, then stands up. She sighs deeply, then looks down at her friend. "I should be off to bed... goodnight." she says simply, not wanting to talk about it more. She makes her way upstairs, wondering why she was so sleepy when she just woke up? She didn't see the note on her door because of the lack of good lighting as she went into her room.
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Yuki walks into the inn, looking a little worse for the wear. Her golden eyes are rimmed in red while her black cat ears and tail are ragged and ungroomed. Her knee length black hair cascades down her back in messy waves, her leather boots are travel worn and her black chineese style shirt and pants have seen better days. She wears a short sword on her hip and has a pack slung over her shoulders.
Korunue pokes her head out of the door. Her hair is tucked behind her shoulders, so it falls out of sight. A small chain can be seen, but the necklace is tucked under a black neckline. "yuki?" she asks, spying her. "Didja get Ayanami and the spell stuff?"
Yuki's tired eyes spot Korunue and she nods once, sharply, before going to sit by the fireplace.
Korunue ducks her head back in. After a moment, she re-appears, and goes to descend the staircase, in her normal white kimono with black trim. With her right hand, she led Aldrea. Something had changed about her, some look in her eyes. IT was hard for anyone who knew youaki to place, or for a true youkai to comprehend. Could it be.... defeat? No, no, surely it was... resignation, that's all. But... what was she resigned too? The fact that... no, no, surely it was the task ahead. More like concentration? But then, why did it look so much like defeat? Why did her ears droop like a fallen warrior?
Aldrea allowed herself to be led out of their shared room. She had wavy brown hair, pulled back into a ponytail, and was wearing a brown dress. She had a strange look in her eyes: it was as if she wasn't there at all. She did not make eye contact with anyone, but simply... was. She followed Korunue meekly, staring straight ahead, boots clunking on the stairs.
Korunue goes to sit by Yuki. She knew the other youaki would be able to tell something was wrong with her, and so she kept her head down. Shyness was not normal for a youkai, but at least it was more normal for her. She sighed heavily, sitting down and motioning for Aldrea to do the same. She smiled a tad when Aldrea did so, though she watched Yuki to see her reaction.
Yuki notices Korunue's uncharacteristical shyness "what's wrong?" Her voice is slightly rough with disuse. Outside, Ronin groans and slowly opens his eyes, trying to focus on whatever is in front of him, but all he can see is white. He shakes his head and realizes that all he is seeing is snow. He must have fallen asleep outside the other night, but where has Korunue gone to? Maybe she went inside. He stands up slowly, shaking the layer of snow off of him. He slowly checks his pouches and swords before crunching his way through the snow around to one of the inn's windows.
Korunue looks down, "er... nothing..." she should tell. They deserve to know. She shouldn't do this... but she wanted so badly to do something right for once, just once... she hated herself for being so selfish and not saying anything. She heard Ronin, and her eyes went wide. He might tell! No. She had to trust him with her secret. "ready to get started?"
Yuki surveys Korunue"You're lying."
Korunue meets Yuki's gaze. She holds it for a second, knowing the youkai could see the worry and sadness in her eyes... "I'm just... worried about Aldrea. Can we hurry and do this, or will we sit here all day?" It was true, she was worried... though not for the usual reasons. But the youkai would have no idea of any of this, luckily... not having been there.
Yuki nods slightly and rummages around in her pack" Now where did I put it..........."
Ronin smiles softly when he sees who is inside the inn. But, who is that human? and what are Korunue and Yuki doing? He decides maybe he shouldn't go inside just yet, this could be a good vantage spot. Settling himself up against the window he focuses one ear on the group inside, letting the other roam around, so he won't be snuck up on.
Yuki sits up, triumphantly clutching a jar of what looks like tea "The annoying one says that all we have to do is get Rea-chan to drink this as a tea."
Korunue looks excited. "And she'll be forced to talk to us! Then we can convince her to come back..." she takes the tea and hands it to Aldrea, saying softly, as though to a small child "drink up..."
Yuki takes the jar back "Baka, we have to actually MAKE the tea first."
Korunue blushes, looking down. "gomen ne..." she knew absolutely nothing about spells. One ear remained on Ronin, though the other moved from Yuki to Aldrea. She wouldn't actually look up at him, seeing that perhaps he didn't want his location revealed, but she knew he was there.
Yuki rummages in her pack again before pulling out a thermos full of hot water and adding some of the powder from the jar to the hot water"Let it sit for a few moments then we have to get her to drink it."
Korunue nods solumnly, wishing she had her bow to occupy her. She sighs, then remembers not to, for it might give her away. But her secret appeared safe... if Yuki knew, she wouldn't let her help Aldrea. And she HAD to help... otherwise she was just worthless.
Yuki waits a few minutes then unscrews the cap from the thermos and hands it to Korunue "Can you give it to her I'd like to find out why that Kitsune outside is watching us..."
Korunue takes the thermos. "That's Ronin... he's keeping an eye on me most likely. He worries about me sometimes. He may or may not come in, though... he hates humans." She offers the thermos to Aldrea.
"Ah." says Yuki, as Aldrea accepts the thermos and then, with Korunue's help, drinks some. She frowns at the taste but drinks it anyway. She wanted to help her friends... it was deeply buried in her subconcious to want to help.
Ronin jumps when he hears the comment about him. Damn, and he thought he had been quiet too...oh well. Ronin takes a few steps back from the window and crunches through the snow towards the porch. He stops to shake the rest of the snow off of himself before stepping onto the porch, but he pauses right before the door, not wanting to enter with that human in there.
Korunue watches Aldrea intently for a few minutes. "so, talk." she says to her, praying it worked. She hoped she hadn't done it wrong... She twists her ear to Ronin, but keeps her eyes on Aldrea.
Aldrea stares back, not meeting her friend's eyes. "what about." she says, flatly, so that it didn't even seem a question. Her voice was flat and dead to the extreme, the same tone as before having taken over her voice. The tone she always ended up with when she talked about death...
"Why do you keep going out of yourself, what would make you stay inside yourself?" asks Yuki,
Aldrea looks blankly at Yuki. "I am inside myself. Deep inside, where it doesn't hurt." she says, flatly, like a robot. Then, she says something more fitting with her personality: "and I don't intend to come out." it was said without any hint of defiance, just stated... but it was something Aldrea would say.
Yuki darts a quick glance to Korunue. "But you have to come out. I know it hurts, but if you don't come out then you'll never be able to find a way to make the hurt go away. And sometimes, pain is a good thing, you learn from it."
Ronin grumbles, no way he is going inside with that human. He reaches up and rubs his temples, he has a headache...just one more problem to add to the rest. But at least this one is easily fixed. Ronin leans up against the wall to the inn and slowly sits down. He reaches into one of his pouches and digs around for a moment, till he finds something that might help. Triumphantly, he pulls out a small bag with various sized pieces of willow bark in it.
Aldrea looks blankly at Yuki. "I'm happy here. You don't need me. Leave me alone." she states this matter-of-factly, flatly. her hand is on her belt pouch, but she ignores it.
Korunue takes a deep breath. "Aldrea... i need you..." she whispers softly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She hoped Ronin would not hear her next words. "it takes two to commit seppuku." she whispers.
Yuki turns a startled look on Korunue "What?!"
Ronin reaches into his bag and gets a piece of bark out, popping into his mouth to chew on it. He nearly chokes when he hears Korunue mention seppuku again. He stumbles up and hastily tucks the willow bag back into his pouch. At the same time he reaches into his shirt to make sure the seppuku dagger is still there. Good it still was, better get inside tho; before anything else happens.
Aldrea opened her eyes wide, looking into Korunue's for once. She takes a deep breath, then another... deep, raggid breaths... She shuts her eyes, then opens them again, sounding like herself when she speaks. "I don't like being tricked...." she starts to say, then a bright light glows from her belt pouch. "what the....?" she asks in wonderment, looking at it.
Korunue looks down, not responding to Yuki. She stares at the pouch where Aldrea's gem was kept... hoping against hope, praying that this was... it gave her something else to think about. She placed her left hand in front of her belly instinctivly.
Yuki continues staring at Korunue "What did you mean?" She demands. "Why would you want to commit seppuku?"
Aldrea just stares as the light goes brighter, brighter... as if in a dream, she opens it and removes a small red gem with a pink flame in it. The light came from the flame... it surounded Aldrea, then faded as quickly as it came. There was no fire in the gem afterwords. Aldrea shut her eyes, then held out her hand. A small pink flame appeared. She opened her eyes and smiled, for the first time in a long time. She looks at Korunue. "I still don't like being tricked."
Korunue looks down, mumbling softly "it wasn't a trick." She lifts up her kimono above her leggings, revealing a long cut, running left to right across her belly, with a small upcurve at the right side. She drops it a minute later, not looking at Ronin, ears drooping, eyes shut.
Yuki stares at Korunue in astonishment, her mouth opening and shutting like a fish out of water. She was shocked, to say the least. How could this happen?
Aldrea gasps, eyes wide. "why..." she asks softly, lifting the girl's chin to look in her eyes. She ignores the newcomer, waiting for a reply. "Why is your life so terrible all of the suddan?" she whispers to her, eyes tearing.
Korunue's own eyes fill with tears. "I couldn't... I'm so useless... I found my mother's killer, and I... I..." she breaks down in sobs. "I had my bow on him, and I couldn't... I couldn't... " she shuts her eyes to avoid Aldrea's glance. "I was going to tell you... " she says to Yuki, "but... I knew you wouldn't let me... I wanted to do something right... but i'm so selfish... I could have...."
YukiNeko slowly reaches over and hugs Korunue, gently rocking her back and forth. "I see......its ok........its ok.........your mother probably wouldn't have wanted you to kill him, even if he DID kill her........now stop crying........."
Ronin leans against the wall near the door, chewing on his willow bark and not wanting to go near the human with Korunue. Best to let the girl tell her story though, and be comforted by people that know her best. He swallows some of the bark juice and continues watching.
Korunue bows her head. "But... but I have to avenge her... I have to... it's not right... and I failed... and I couldn't even atone for it properly... and none of my friends would help me... " she sniffs. "I... I just want to do something right...." she murmers, looking down, ears drooping.
" You did do something right, you didn't kill someone who obviously deserves to die. That takes alot more will power and courage than to just openly kill them." murmers Yuki, trying to comfort her.. friend.
Aldrea puts a hand on the girl's shoulder. "If you really meant that..." she murmers, "if you really wanted death... I'd help you... but I don't belive you do. I think what you really want is life. You want to live, and be accepted, not to die alone." She swallows hard, remembering her own experiences with death. "And besides... you helped me. That was right. " she murmers, glancing at the hanyou watching them. Her eyes hold unfathomable sadness, a depth not usually found in eyes.
Korunue keeps her eyes closed, listening to Aldrea. She disagreed with Yuki, but didn't say anything. "thank you..." she whispers to Aldrea. Then she opens her eyes, confused. "But... why would you help me? I didn't help you... I made you stay alive, and be miserable... now I start to see how you felt... I'm such a bad friend..."
Ronin glaress at the human glancing at him. Slowly, steadily he walks towards the human. A low rumbling in his throat gets louder as he gets closer. Finally he reaches the human and leans down close to her ear. "You help her with seppuku, and I swear....you will not have long to live afterwards." he snarls into her ear. He jerks up and walking around behind Korunue. "And don't you ever speak of seppuku again." he says to her.
Aldrea looks at Korunue with pity. "no... nobody knows how I felt..." she whispers to herself, eyes seeing something not there, voice having a flat tone to it. She shakes her head and frowns at Korunue. "don't SAY that! No. You don't know how I felt. I refuse to belive that. If you did... no. I won't let that happen." she says out loud, half to herself, half to Korunue.
"neither will I..." interjects Yuki, a little lost.
Aldrea frowns at Ronin. "What do you know of this? When have you ever felt like this? This unbearable pain, sadness... only one who experienced it can know what it is like. Life is not worth half so much as people think... if she was that bad, and I actually did... well, you wouldn't get the chance to kill me. " she looks sad. "Because if I was able to help her... Yuki wouldn't be there, she wouldn't let me, and the only other one to stop me would be dead herself."
Korunue looks down, not saying anything. "I... it won't matter if I don't speak of it... it still haunts me." she mumbles. She looks at Aldrea, about to protest... then falls silent. She turns back to Ronin, pained. "but I won't... i'll just keep it to myself, if it makes you feel better..."
Ronin narrows his eyes at Aldrea. "Good, one less human to worry about." He turns to Korunue and smiles soflty. "Would be best if you didn't even let it cross your mind." he whispers into her ear.
Korunue growls at Ronin. "how can you say that? Look at her! Isn't she in enough pain?" she says, eyes filling with tears. She takes Aldrea's hand. "what if it were me?" she asks softly, knowing full well it could have been, and yet could be... "just because she's human doesn't make her evil... she's had it as bad as you, if not worse... and I can't control my thoughts." she whispers the last part to him, having said the first part louder.
Yuki glares daggers at Ronin, giving new meaning to the saying "If looks could kill". Aldrea takes Korunue's hand. "it's alright... many, many people would say the same... and it won't ever be you. I won't let it. " she smiles a little, eyes pained, knowing full well that there was nothing anyone could have done to help her before... she waves her free hand, and the sadness in her face goes away, replaced by a stern, determined face and brave eyes, with hope still in them... for Korunue's benifit, though it is an obvious illusion.
Ronin frowns, his ears drooping a little. "I've still never met a good human, why should she be any different." he points a finger at Aldrea and shoots a glare at Yuki at the same time. He nods slowly at Aldrea. "I know she has problems, but still...seppuku is not the way out. No matter if you failed to avenge your mother or not." he says, shooting a glance at Korunue, then reaching out to scratch Korunue behind the ears.
Aldrea looks at Ronin, looking at him long and hard. "Why do you insist upon it? For her sake, or your own?" she looks down at Korunue. "Keep that in mind. If the time came, I would help her... but there must be no hope altogether..." she winces, remembering when those words were said to her last... "And there is hope yet."
Korunue leans on Aldrea, swallowing and looking down. She sniffs, taking comfort in this guesture of frendship. She looks up at Ronin, awaiting his response. She shuts her eyes. "you don't have to answer" she whispers, not sure she wants to know the answer.
Ronin stares long and hard at Aldrea. Thinking about her question and how deep it had hit him. After a while he sighs and says "It's for both of our sakes.... I don't think I could handle it if she died." The last part is whispered, Ronin's voice starting to get raspy the more he thought about it.
Yuki gets a twitch in the nerve above her left eye as a beeping sound comes from her pack "What now?" She mutters as she starts to search in it for something.
Korunue cries silently. She hadn't realized how much she was hurting him... She shut her eyes. "I don't want to hurt you..." she whispers softly back. She releases Aldrea and sits on her own, legs bent beneath her, eyes shut, crying softly, chin in hand. "I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want to do something right..." she whispers, ears drooping.
Aldrea sits, a few tears tracing her own cheeks. She remembers... remembers... she turns to Korunue. "you did do something right... you hid my daggers, you found a way to help me... and after all, seppuku was supposed to be sacrificing youself for failing to help your mother? But wouldn't the greater sacrifice be living with it, every day?" she whispers, wincing, knowing how much it would hurt Korunue to hear that.
Ronin blinks for a minute, this was getting to be way over his head. He sighs and walks around to slump into one of the chairs. He closes his eyes and chews on the willow bark that he had forgotten about, now that his headache had returned.
Yuki finally finds what she's been searching for, what looks like a hand mirror with buttons. She presses one and growls at the person whose face appears in it. She listens as the person says something then sighs and shuts it off by pressing another button. She turns apologetically to the other two "I have to go, as much as I don't want to. One of my cousins has a crisis and needs my help."
Aldrea sees Korunue's silence and continues. "I know.. it hurts... but... you'll move on, grow up, have a good life... duty isn't everything. You have to ask yourself: do you really want to die, or do you just feel you need to?" She looks at Yuki, who seems to be getting called away... "Thank you both for helping me." she says, her voice weary and sad. She drops the illusion, finding it to be tiresome, and the full intensity of sadness in her eyes returns.
Yuki stands up and picks up her pack "I'll be back as soon as I can." She turns on her heel and walks out the door.
Korunue sighs, her tears finally ceasing. She takes a deep breath, then another, calming herself. She doesn't look at Ronin. "I know... I'm a weakling... you don't have to say so..." she tells him, sadly.
Aldrea notes that Korunue didn't answer her question... but also notes that her next thought is for Ronin and is quiet. Perhaps Korunue didn't want to say in front of Ronin? Well, no matter. Korunue had guarded over her for so long.. she would watch out for Korunue for a while. Just in case the answer was the former...
Ronin just shakes his head, he has a lot to think about and can't focus to talk to Korunue. He stares at her, thinking about what all he had heard. Ronin looks into Korunue's eyes, like he wants to communicate wthout speaking.
Korunue meets his eyes, then looks away, ashamed of herself. "I won't... I don't want to hurt anyone..." she murmers. "I'll stay.... alive." she murmers, though the words are hard to get out.
Aldrea takes something out of a pouch on her belt: a crumpled scroll. She hands it to Korunue. "was this important? you tossed it onto my bed... I took it for you." She tries to get Korunue to think of something else... that often helped her.
Korunue takes the note, glad for something else to think about. She recognizes it as the note she had taken off of her door on the way in, assuming it to be a notice of some festival or something for Aldrea, who shares the room with her. She opens it, and gasps, crumpling it at once. She only reads it once, quickly, before she crumples it again, fresh tears forming. She shuts her eyes, wimpering softly, note in hand.
Aldrea gently takes the note from Korunue's hand and reads it, turning white. "Who would do such a thing?" she wonders aloud, then looks at the crying girl. She looks grim, and places a hand on her shoulder. The hand begins to glow slightly.
Korunue drops off to sleep under the influence of the spell, looking peaceful for once. She stops crying, leaning over, curling up like a baby, sleeping soundly. Her breath comes easier, her eyes are shut, and she looks just plain cute lying there.
Ronin glares at Aldrea, another low rumbling rising from his throat "What did you do to her?" he asks, trying to mask the concern in his voice. Noticing Aldrea concentrating on changling he turns to have a lookc himself, jsut in time to catch her walking out the door. He turns agan to look at Korunue trying to decide if he should kill Aldrea or just tolerate her.
Aldrea turns to Ronin. She catches a faint hint of concern in his voice, and hears the growl, and chooses her words carefully, lest he tear her apart and get Korunue all bloody as well as sadder. "Relax... she's just asleep. I thought that she needed to sleep some of this off... and the note was too much of a shock for her." she hands the note to Ronin.
The note was hand-written in a scrawl, reading "Go home, bitch, we don't serve your kind here." It also contained a crude drawing of a dead dog, with Xs for eyes, on it's back.
Ronin stops growling when Aldrea explains what she had done, but he immediately resumed his growling, louder than before, when he read the note. He started mumbling "I'll kill them, kill them all." over and over. He seems to be shaking a little it too.
Aldrea watches Korunue as she stirs in her sleep a little. She frowns. She understands that he's upset... but still... "kill all who?" she asks softly. "do you know who did this?" her voice is really, really soft and pleasant, as she feels what she has not in months: fear. For herself, as well as for Korunue.
Ronin stops shaking and turns to look at Aldrea, a strange look in his eyes. "Whoever did this of course...and anyone who tries something." The look in his eyes changes, to something along the lines of affection.
Aldrea looks down at Korunue. "then you have sealed her fate." she says sadly, compassion in her eyes. She sighs, a deep, meloncholy sigh, as if the world was ending and she could do nothing. She shuts her eyes slowly, thinking.She takes a deep breath, queing up the all-too-familer spell in the back of her mind: the sheild spell, ready to go minus the power integer. She takes a deep breath and looks at Ronin, opening her eyes. "I cannot let you do that... go on a killing spree, murder anyone for her sake... " she tells him boldly, though her eyes are not defiant but sad, full of compassion.
Ronin slowly lifts his head, staring blankly at Aldrea. "You couldn't stop me." he says, his voice sounding sort of surreal, with a slight tint of anger. He slowly rises to his full height "There is no way you could stop me!" His hand strays to his shorter sword, the other reaching into his shirt where he put the seppuku dagger he had recieved from Korunue the other day. Ronin pulls a dagger from his shirt, holding it in a throwing position. "I won't kill anyone because of her, I'll kill them to keep them from hurting her." He draws his wakizashi, holding it in a defensive position. "Now, are you going to stop me?"
Aldrea doesn't activate her spell yet... she doesn't have the strength to keep it up long... "She won't see it that way, will she?" she asks softly, eyes on the knife. She has another idea... she places a hand on Korunue's arm, and it glows faintly once more, as she murmers under her breath a little.
Ronin growls "What are you doing now?" His arm draws back, ready to throw the dagger at any moment. He eyes Aldrea, deciding where would be the best place to put the dagger. Her heart? her head? maybe just her arm as a distraction so he could come in with the sword... "Damn humans, always thinking up something." he mutters.
Korunue begins to stir a little under the touch, as Aldrea's spell wakens her. She moans a bit, then looks to Ronin, eyes widening. She screams, a quick scream, and sits up fast, making her head hurt. Her face is flush, a little, in addition to showing fear.
Aldrea winces a bit at the scream, frowning, not expecting her friend's reaction to be so strong.. she curses herself under her breath and places a hand on Korunue's arm. No magic this time... the effect is meant to be comforting, no more.
Ronin quickly puts his sword and dagger away to kneel next to Korunue. "Calm down, itll be alright." He places a hand on her head, scratching behind her ears like always. "Im not gonna hurt Aldrea."
Korunue calms down a little. "Why..." she frowns. "Why did you have your blades out in the first place?" she asks, lip quvering a little, ears straight out from the sides of her head. Her eyes are questioning. Aldrea looks sad, moving aside so the two can be together. She lets the spell go from her mind, confidant it will be there next time... how wonderful, to have magic again, ready for use... later, she would do some spells to make it so that nobody could ever take it from her again.
Ronin smiles softly at Korunue "I thought she was gonna hurt you....you can't trust humans." he says shooting a glance towards Aldrea.
Aldrea returns his gaze, strangly without hate in her eyes... "you forgot to mention the part about killing them all." she says levally, not blinking.
Korunue smiles a little at his statement. "you don't have to worry so much about me... she wouldn't hurt me.." then she hears Aldrea's statement. "Kill all who?" she asks, frowning a little, her expression unreadable.
Ronin scowls at Aldrea. "She probably wouldn't, but you can never be sure around humans." He turns back to Korunue. "Kill anyone who tries to hurt you I meant." She didn't tell the full extent of his sentence, just like a human, butcher words for her own good.
Korunue gasps, putting a hand to her mouth. "no... surely not for me..." she whispers, horrified. "You don't... no... " she shakes her head. "don't... it's wrong..." she murmers, looking down, ashamed of herself. She doesn't look quite right... looking a little woozy...
Aldrea looks saddened. Of course, she knew he would tell... she meant him to. "don't scowl at me." she tells him. "I thought she might want to know if people who harm her suddanly turn up dead." She smiles a little, her eyes still sad, her overall expresison unreadable. The smile fades quickly. "I warned you... If you do this, you will have sealed her fate." She doesn't expect Korunue to understand. She looks at Korunue, tilting her head, concerned, the question dying on her lips.
Korunue looks from Aldrea to Ronin, then back, her face flushed. She didn't look quite right still... she sneezes, a small, dry, puppy-sneeze descreetly covered by her hand.
Ronin turns to Aldrea "And if they wind up dead, then they can't hurt her again." he snarls. Hearing Korunue sneeze he turns back to her. Ronin examines Korunue, looking her over thoughtfully. "You don't look so well." he says after some time. "Did you get sick out in the cold the other night?"
Aldrea looks at Ronin, a strange expression on her face. "If they wind up dead, you will lose her." she says simply, tone bordering on flat. "snarling at me won't help her any either." She looks him over, then sighs, standing up. "I can see I'm not wanted here... I'll be upstairs, Kor." she says, turning and walking upstairs to their room.
Korunue blinks. "no... of course not... I'm part youkai, I can take a little cold weather." she asserts, her face flushed. She does not sneeze again, though she does not look well. She glances to Aldrea and sighs.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "You're inu youkai, not kitsune youkai, and I don't think you've had the time outside that I have." He jerks at the tap on his back. and spins around still in a crouch. He scans the area around him.
Korunue has a fever, as Ronin will note. She bites her lip. "yeah, well..." she mumers quietly. She looks down, ashamed of having hidden her sickness from him. She tries to change the subject. "What were you and Ally talking about while I was asleep?" she asks, inncently, wondering what Aldrea had meant by "you'll lose her".
He turns back to Korunue. "You've got a fever, but I've got some herbs that should help a little."
Korunue nods. She frowns a little. "Later..." she says. "Aldrea might have something, and I'm sleepy." She yawns, starting to get up. Her legs felt rubbery all of the suddan, and she collapsed back onto the couch. "Or not..." she says, frowning. She yawns again. "g'night.." she murmers, streaching out and falling asleep on the couch, her hair covering part of her face.
**********************************
Ronin shakes himself awake in a chair near the couch. Korunue steps boldy out of her room. She wore her normal white kimono with black trim, and near-silant slippes. She had a new piece of apparal tonight: a red leather choker with a dangling red ruby on it. But the oddest thing was that not only was she not wearing her bandanna, she also lacked her fluffy puppy ears. She noticed Ronin and gasped, hopping back into her room, hopefully too fast to be noticed by him.
Korunue returns, this time with a small black bandanna on her head. It is a tad too flat, but she looks more normal. She avoids Ronin's eyes, looking down, heading to sit on the couch near him, though not too near. "hello." she says, with a hint of a smile in her voice, though tensing for a blow.
Ronin glances over towards Korunue, studying her, he notices somethign is different about her, but can't quite put his finger on it. His eyes slowly roam over her features, from the feet up, trying to notice even the slightest change. He focuses on her neck for a moment, studying the choker. Slowly his eyes work their way up, past her face, to her bandana. "I thought I told you not to wear that." he says, anger barely tinting his voice.
Korunue shrinks away from him. "I know..." she murmers, looking down. "but..." she trails off. To finish the protest would be to reveal... she takes a deep breath, trying to enjoy the last moments before he would find out and hate her.
Ronin narrows his eyes towards Korunue. "But what?" he asks icily. "Take off the bandana. You're part youkai are you not? Take it off." He lefts his right hand slowly, aiming ot remove the bandana himself if she didnt.
Korunue looks at her toes, to allow him to remove it himself. She hopes he won't, for some reason... she wants things to stay as they were the last time they were together. But not enough to sacrifice everything... she remained silent.
Ronin moves his hand to Korunues hand and touches the bandana. He blinks for a second and his mouth drops open in surprise and he starts to feel around Korunu's head, kind of like he is searching for something. Finally he yanks the bandana off of Korunue's head and stares openly at her. "What in the world did you do to your ears little one?" he says, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "Tell me you didnt cut them off."
Korunue lowers her head, her hair flat against her head, no sign of her ears. "I..." she says, faltering. This was it: the moment of truth. She held her hair back in a ponytail, revealing two human ears by the sides of her head. She lets the hair drop, a tear forming. "It... It's only an illusion, but..."
Ronin starts to growl, low and deep in his throat. "It was that damn, meddling human wasn't it? The one you and the other youkai were talking to the other day. She did this did this didn't she." He makes a move like he is fixing to stand, his hand dropping the bandana and moving towards his sword.
Korunue looks up suddanly. "no! I mean..." she looks down. "it was her..." she looks back up at him. "But I asked her to! I swear! It was all my idea! Don't blame her, really, it was all me. If I had magic I would have done it myself..." she looks down at her lap. "long ago." she finishes, ashamed.
Ronin slowly stops growling, the lasts echoes dying in his throat. "But why would you want to look human? Humans are weak. I'd much rather be an ikkiyou than a human any day." he says, rather seriously.
Korunue looks away from him. "It's true, I can't deny what I am. I am an abomination, and I always will be. But... I can't deny what I need. I... I don't know how much teasing I can take, how much hatred... but I know it can't be much more than I have. I... I', not like you. I'm weak... you could take it, but I... " she trails off, looking out the window.
Ronin frowns again, blinking for a minute while digesting Korunue's words. "Of course you can't deny what you are, but you aren't an abomination. You never were, and you certainly never shall be." He lets her ponder this for a moment before continuing. "And what makes you think you are weak. You are youkai, are you not? That in itself makes you tougher than a human. Now how is that spell cast on you. I want you to remove it right now."
Korunue shakes her head. "No. I may be strong, physically... it's not my part human side that makes me weak, but my personality... I'm not like you, Ronin... I care too much. I can't pull off that decil-may-care attitude like you can... I can fake, for a while, but it's too much..." she looks down, wiping away another tear.
Sinai yawns as she had fallen asleep in front of the fire, curled up into a ball, having came in the middle of the night one night looking for an elf...has been there ever since, either sleeping, drinking tea/BloodWyne, or hunting near the Inn so she could meet up with her. She is in her wolf form, looking much like a large dog. Ronin lets out a long, low sigh. " Still, remove the illusion. It isn't proper for you to hide your true self. Now get rid of it." the last part is almost growled out, like an order. "You're going to have to be tough, otherwise humans will take advantage of you and hurt you."
Sinai mind-talks in her sleep, whimpering and whining. No...no...don't...no...please...I'll be good. I won't scratch at the fweeze or chase the chickens no more...no..NO!... She whines some more, almost barking in her sleep.
Korunue shakes her head. "What part of 'I can't take it' don't you understand!?" she asks, sounding sad, not allowing herself to be angry. She sucumbs to the hurt.. hurt never led to possesion. She remains silent, thinking, staring out the window.
Why? What did I do? I pwomise I won' do it again...No...Alex and Patwick and Nethaniel are in dere...Daddy! Daddy's in there too! NO! Don' burn my house down...PWEEZE... sinai mind-says. She suddanly awakens to her own cries and yelps, feeling an ember in the fur of her tail, having been dreaming when she tried to save her family...and failed...She flicks the ember out and back into the fire with good graces.
Ronin tries to ignore the voice in his head and concentrates on Korunue. Both ears pointed towards her. "You can't take it? What do you mean you can't take it? You're an ikkiyou, you can take it." he stares directly into Korunue's eyes the whole time he is talking to her.
Korunue takes a deep breath, facing him. "I can't... I meant that. I just... it's been so long, trying not to show it, hiding how much it hurts, taking more and more, showing nothing... I just can't do it anymore. " She looks to Sinai, for a distraction. "are you alright?"
Just a bad dream... She smiles a little weakly, her eyes displaying everything.
Ronin places a hand on Korunue's shoulder. "Yes you can, it hasnt been that long for you I think. It jsut feels that way. Now, please, remove the illusion." He tries to get his eye contact with Korunue back, trying to get her to focus on him again.
Korunue refuses to look at him. She can't belive how much this hurt... she looked at Sinai, nodding to her. "that's good then... dreams arn't real." she loses focus, falling into deep thought. She sighs, not paying attention to anything at all in particular outside of her own thoughts. Sinai sighs again, and sits up on her haunches, looking very sad and in need of a good scratching/rubbing
Ronin lifts his left hand and places it on Korunue's cheek, trying to gently turn her eyes back to look into his. "Remove the illusion please." he says with a fierce steadiness, trying to contain his anger.
Korunue blanches away from his eyes, sensing the anger within. Could it be.. he hated her? She said nothing, thinking hard. Then, she understood a little, adn stopped thinking, and started FEELING. She frowned, trying to process this new information, identify the source of this hurt...
Ronin starts to growl, even though he tries his best not to. "Remove the illusion Korunue." he says, his voice no longer steady. His hand starting to shake a little bit.
Sinai yawns a jaw-cracking yawn, then moves into the Kitchen so she could change into her Human form, changing so no one has to see her change, still liking to keep it a secret...MOves back out in the same clothes she had appeared at the Inn with several days ago.
Korunue looks at him, her breath raggady. She shuts her eyes, trying to decide what was right. Finally, it clicked: it all made sense now. But... was it too late? She took a deep breath and begun. "I... I can't deny what I want... " she mumbles, searching for words.
Ronin suddenly stops shaking, the growl in his throat subsiding once again. "And what is it you want ikkiyou?" he asks. His voice is calm again and no longer carries the threatening tone that it had just a few secdons earlier.
Korunue forced herself to keep his gaze. "I want.. I need... " She made up her mind and slowly removed the choker. Her fluffy ears appeared in an instant, the spell removed. "I... I cannot take much more teasing. But... I would rather face a lifetime of suffering and torment, or even end my life by my own hand, then have you hate me so." she frowns, looking down. "But... I screwed up. It appears I won't get a choice, but all of the above..." She hands him the choker and stands, heading towards the stairs. This was it. She couldn't possibly feel any worse. She wanted... she needed.. to die. She had no purpose in living, if he hated her... she had no reason to stay alive and every reason to die. Would she be missed? Probably not. Who would go to an ikkiyou's funeral? Nobody. She'd be alone, now and for eternity. Her eyes showed nothing- she was in shock, too tormented to show anything. She was resigned: she had to die.
Sinai blinks, seeing Korunue's ears suddenly go from being human to youkai again, and is confused as she sees her run back up to her room.
Ronin stares blankly at the choker in his hand for a moment, then turns his head; watching Korunue make her way towards the stairs. He has trouble digesting her words. "Did she jsut say she is going to go kill herself?" he asks himself. Suddenly he stands and tossing the choker towards the fire, sprints towards the stairs to stop Korunue from going to her room. Sinai blinks a few more times, and suddenly hears what Ronin has stated, and runs up the stairs after him and Korunue.
Korunue continues on her way, ears forward, too wrapped up in her own feelings to notice him chasing after her. She reaches the bottem of the stairs, and begins to climb, slowly, as if in a daze. It was too much to handle... the new emotions, the hurt... Sinai called out to her, "Korunue!". She pauses a moment at the bottem of the stairs, hearing her name... but it was too hard to face her friend now. She began to climb the stairs,faster than before, hoping to reach the top before Sinai reached her and stopped her, making her seem weaker to Ronin than before.
Ronin is statled by Sinai, loses his footing and slides into the wall next to the stairs. "Korunue!" he yelps right before he hits. Ronin bounces off the wall and lands at the foot of the stairs. "Korunue!" he calls out again, slowly staggering to his feet and leaping up the stairs. Finally he reaches Korunue and reaches out to place a hand firmly on her shoulder. "Korunue...."
Sinai isn't full-out running, but is in a hurry to catch up to her, following Ronin...Sees him fall, and was about to help him back up, but he was too fast for her, and she just follows. "Why d' you want to do that?" Meaning what Korunue had told Ronin, showing that she had suddenly eavesdropped on their conversation--how could she not, though, with them so close?
Korunue jumps, turning slowly to face him. She can't meet his eyes, for fear of the hatred she will find withen. She looks instead at the ground, looking thouraghly miserable. Her ears droop lower than ever before, and hot tears spill from her eyes. She can't take any harsh words from him, and attempts to pull away a little.
Ronin can't finish and instead places hisindex finger under her chin, pulling her face up till she can look him in the eye. He smiles softly and tries to speak again, but just can't seem to find the words. Instead, he wraps his arms around Korunue and pulls her close, hugging her gently. Eventually he finds a few words to speak "...I don't hate you....I...I..." still he can't finish the sentence though and simply places a hand on the back of Korunue's head and holds her.
Korunue looks into his eyes, her own purple eyes filling with tears. She takes a deep, ragady breath, then another, eyes shutting against the pain. She opens them and searches his own eyes for any sign of anger, or hatred. "you... you don't?" she whispers, her voice scarecly above a whisper.
Ronin cant help but smile at Korunue and nod slowly. "No, I don't hate you. I worry about you." he whispers back. "I never hated you." he hugs her tighter, not wanting to end the moment.
Sinai smiles warmly, hearing such words, and knows things will be well, but before she moves back down the stairs, she whispers to Korunue and Korunue alone within her mind. He loves you, m' friend. He's only rough at times because he loves you. He doesn't mean to be rough. He simply wishes for you to be happy. I can see it in his eyes. He cares. Greatly. With that, walks to the front door of the Inn, grabs her cloak and boots, putting them on before leaving as well as her weapons after drinking the last of her tea, leaving the cup for Moe or a barmaid to get, then walks outside
Korunue breathes harder, hearing the private words from her friend in addition to Ronin's words. She allows herself to be hugged, shutting her eyes as tears fall from her cheeks. She pulls back, looking him in the eyes. "I..." she stumbles, then takes a deep breath. "I.. I think I... I know this sounds weak, but I... I think I love you." she said it at last, what she had been pondering for weeks. She took a deep breath and turned away, waiting for him to say that she is weak.
Ronin takes a deep breath and leans up behind Korunue to whisper into her ear. "...I think I may love you too..." Hearing such words from Ronin, Sinai's tempted to tell him not to hurt Korunue, but doesn't, knowing that they will be happy together...Walks outside, walking slowly through the snow, ambling around the edge of the forest, faintly realizing she's hanging around the stable of the Inn still.
Korunue turns white, a sharp intake of breath, her mouth puckering... it slowly turns to a wide smile, her eyes brightening with a light unseen in her for many a day. "you mean it?" she asks, her whole face lighting up. She laughs, softly, short bursts of breath, mouth open in a wide grin. It turns to a real, eye-crinkling laugh, full and hearty. "I'm so happy..." she whispers, still grinning. She looks it, too. She smiles, lowering her eyes modestly.
Ronin slowly turns his smile into a grin and has to struggle to keep from laughing. "I'm glad you're happy" he says with an ever broadening grin. He hugs her again, not wanting to end the moment.
Korunue looks sheepishly at Ronin, then suddanly leans forward and plants a kiss on his lips. She pulls back quickly, ashamed, looking down, as if thnking 'what the hell was I doing?' she looks at her toes, grin fading, assuming his wrath will be on her.
Ronin stands in stunned silence for a moment, his jaw dropped open a bit. Then he regains his grin, broader than ever and reaches and places his index finger under Korunue's chin again, raising her face back up to his. He quickly darts forward and gives Korunue a good solid kiss on her lips and pulls back grinning.
Korunue grins, the happiest she's been since they arrived here. She looks about, noticing the amount of people there and grows embarrased, her cheeks blushing. She leads Ronin towards the door, heading to the spot behind the stable where they could talk, and kiss, away from prying eyes. Ronin follows Korunue quickly, ears still alert, trying to catch every sound around him. Trying to keep Korunue out of harms way, what with all the strange, depressed people around. "You gonna get cold out here Kor?" he asks quietly, only intending for her to hear him.
Korunue smiles at him. "of course not... or else I wouldn't have come out here. I won't sleep out here... just talk for a while." She looks a little worried, remembering their last talk... and earlier... she sighs, wondering if she'll ever be free of her morbid thoughts.
Ronin nods at Korunue and leans up against the stabel, slowly sliding down to sit cross-legged against the wall. He looks up at Korunue "Its pretty comfortable down here, you want to sit down?" he says, he doesnt have a big grin anymore, but he does have a smile.
Korunue takes a deep breath, thinking. She fiddles with a lock of her hair, as a thought offcurs to her: she could ruin all this, just by... "But... I meant it when I said I don't know how much more I can take..." she murmers to the ground, happiness fading fast. She looks him in the eye. "Promise me.. you'll never let me think about... that... again." The one think she always refuses to name...
Ronin looks at Korunue blankly for a moment, then reaches up and pulls her down next to him. "I won't let you think like that again, anyone who bothers you will have to answer to me now." he says with a grin. He puts an arm around Korunue and pulls her close "I promise."
Korunue smiles, giving a small, contented sigh. it felt like forever since she had someone to love her... she leans on Ronin. "don't let me fall asleep now..." she mumers. "being sick sucks." She smiled at him, then decides that she sounds too dependant on him. Though, she was.. but she decided to stop asking him to do stuff for her.
Ronin nods at Korunue and leans down to kiss her once more "I'll make sure you get inside if you do fall asleep." he whispers to her. Sighing, he leans his head back against the wall and lets out a breath he hadnt realized he had been holding. It sure felt good to be comfortable and loved.
Korunue smiled. She sighs, half contentment, half in sadness. She looks at him. "so... tell me about you." she says. "we always talk about me." She seems happier than last time they were out there. She sighs, half in contentment, half in longing. She yawns, a wide yawn, and falls asleep, despite her intentions to stay up. She looks peaceful and content, asleep.
All together now: aaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwww
BTW, I've asked Jeff to co-write this chappie... after I posted the logs and stuff, I had him go through and edit and add stuff... so there may be another author's note, or summit.. lol. REVIEW. -QOB