Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma ½ and all the other people she has
sold the rights to including Kitty and Viz. I got my definition from
www.dictionary.com
A/N: If they get a little OOC please remember that the characters are writing in a personal possession and we wouldn't know what they would write after the series. Thanks to all the people who review my stories and me! You can email me at tiney_panda@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading!
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Dear Diary,
I'm getting worried again. I don't know how it happens but it sort of creeps up on me when I lower my guard. First I think a window is open and there's a draft going through my room. Then as I look over my shoulder a cold shiver goes down my back and I shudder. After that, my brain starts to reel out any possibility close to believable about evil people and Saffron coming back. I'll try to shake it off and then find myself searching everywhere for you and writing about anything. I hate calling it writing because it feels like I'm talking to another person. You are an inanimate object and nothing more. I should believe that but I just can't make myself! What have you done to me? I must be a hospital case the way I write and talk to you!
Looking back at what I've wrote it almost makes you a friend. I mean, people only tell their very good friends about their secret plans and feelings which is the bulk of what's been written in here. I'm a little embarrassed even but I know you're not real and you can't just get up, walk to Ranma's room and open yourself to the juiciest page. Of course any other person would make me feel just as embarrassed! See? Now I'm lying to you. I must repeat to myself "you are not a person" what, twenty times? That should do it . . . it didn't. Well, now I feel guilty, you don't even have a name.
What would you like your new name to be? Earl? Suru? Diary-chan? How about George? Yes, you are George. If only because you are as curious as that American monkey to find out about my life. You leave yourself so blank your sheets are pleading for me to write in them and bring them to ink tainted life. Curious, curious George . . . has a ring to it doesn't it?
I don't know what to make of Ranma's letter. Was it any deeper than a guilty jerk who felt a slight pain in the pit of his stomach thinking it was just the reminiscing spoils of my labor and deciding to make peace so I would never cook for him again? Or dad and Genma said something half mentioning the word 'honor' making him run with his tail between his legs up stairs and write out the pitiful sentence? Well, now that I've got all those negative ideas out I can tell you about what I really think it meant. George, I'm getting to him. I can sense it when I'm around. That feeling of nervousness (a very important emotion) around me that he obviously builds up is just the start.
At least I cracked down on his brain and made his depression shove over a bit to make a little room for me. Of course, if Ranma were here he would be saying that his brain would need a whole lot of room to fit me. What a jerk! He's stirring up anger in me and he didn't even say it! Maybe that's my problem, I take him too seriously. It's not my fault, I just go with my first instinct and ever since the day Kuno acknowledged his love for me that had been the direction it instinctively directed me. I'd like to change the topic from me and start to explain a feverishly confusing conversation I had today with 'guess who'. He was moping around, dragging his feet so that the floor would be piled high in front of them if it wasn't hardwood. He was deep into some book he had borrowed from the library and almost bumped into me.
Now, I have to take a second to express how deeply odd it is to have Ranma go to the library. He never has the time to go and read in some "dusty ol' book house that only the creepy library lady goes and she, lookin' older than the books an' dustier, ain't a pretty sight for any guy." Honestly! Does he think all library's are like the Crypt Keeper's? The library lady is, to say the least, how he described her but the library is nice and every time I go it reminds me of home. You know, what home should smell like, warm and cozy with a hint of mustiness that comes with age. I might sound crazy right now but George; I swear it's true! Anyways, back to the conversation.
"Hello Ranma how's the book?"
"Huh? Oh hey Akane, what's up?" (he didn't even look up, he stopped half- way down the hall and waited for my reply)
"Oh nothing, I was just wondering how you were. Thanks for the note." (I moved my head up to his and stared into his eyes as they scanned his book. It didn't look like a very skillful read, it was large like a children's book or one of those educational things)
"No prob. Hmmm…" (he flipped the page and nodded along with the text)
"Am I interrupting something?" (I laughed nervously)
"Uh, not right now, but later. Besides, my gi's in the laundry, dummy."
"Oh, okay. Right! Well, then I better go…" (I waited for his soft-spoken plea for me to stay)
" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." (needless to say there was no plea)
"Need to add anything before I leave?" (I was fishing for a conversation, even a fight at this point)
"Can I ask ya a question Akane?" (he was still reading his book as he muttered this)
"Sure Ranma. What is it?" (I was getting a little worried, he sounded kinda serious)
"Do you . . . uhh . . . do you . . ." Ranma started looking up from his book and staring right into my eyes with his icy blue sapphires) ((yes, I know sapphires aren't blue and their no match for his eyes))
"Yes Ranma?" (thoughts were racing through my head, could the letter last night just be the tip of the iceberg? Was he going to tell me he might like me?)
"Do you know snakes can never close their eyes?" (I almost face faulted)
SNAKES? He wants to talk about bloody snakes! Who the hell does he think he is, playing with a girl's emotion like that? What an insane freak! Then again, he has picked up a new interest. An interest he was so into he went to all the trouble of going to the library to research and Ranma Saotome does not research unless it has something to do with martial arts or personal gain. I'll never understand him George! Wow, this was a long entry!
Akane
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Dear Journal,
Did you know snakes can't close their eyes? Well, I guess before me you didn't know much of anything. Lucky you the first person you meet aside from the guy (or girl) stuffing you in a box is a nut job like me! Anyway, snakes can never close their eyes, some sorta no eyelid do-hicky. I'd never want that. To have to see everything, twenty-four hours a day would be torture. Having to watch all the pain and horror of everyone you meet's lives and never being allowed to turn away for a second, to blink away a tear. I don't know yet if they can cry but I bet that would help. People think it would great to have that ability, you would notice so much more but you'd have to watch every heartbreaking second. If that happened to me I'd go crazy but then again, I'm already three miles past insane.
I had a conversation with Akane today. It was really easy to talk to her because of my book. I was so intent on reading I didn't say anything stupid! When she asked me if I wanted to go spar I just couldn't put the book down! I made some excuse that I ripped my gi or something even though I usually just watch and point out her mistakes when we spar on a day like today. Today is a great day out and it's a time when we all need to get real lazy and I like to lie on the roof. I try to hide from the sun's powerful rays but it's really hard! The sun probably doesn't blink right? Well, maybe the night is one big, long blink that the sun has to make to regenerate itself. That sounded ridiculous didn't it?
I've been reading a lot lately and it's seriously paying off! I'm writing bigger words and making a little more sense. Of course, I'll never be one of those uppity, tight-lipped fluffs with about as much sense as funny clothes they wear. I'm not reading about any scientific theories or hypothesis' but I know what they are and that is totally enough! I keep going back to that dictionary of mine and reading up on stuff. I dunno why but it kinda makes me feel better. It makes me feel a lot smarter and like I'm making something of myself. That's probably the dumbest thing I ever wrote. Too bad I'm using a pen and not pencil.
I just bought this book that's so interesting! It's about this guy's life and how he has to deal with all these crazy problems and there's magic and all that. It's from a little while ago and this kid has to go to magic school and has zany adventures. I know you probably don't believe I bought a book but I swear on my dictionary I did! Of course, nobody else is gonna hear about this and I'm pretty sure you wont be running to the press.
So today I woke up and reached over for my book, hopped onto the roof through the window and laid down again, staring up and reading a page or two once in awhile. People say that a good place that you can call your own is the best place to think. Well, I've made the roof a giant grid. At different sections I can think about anything I want to how my hair is and in some parts I have complete silence, absence of all thought. Just me and the sky. That's my favorite place, I've got no doubt, no problems, just silence. All the other parts help me too and I've figured out the bulk of my problems up there. In fact, I'm here right now, writing in my domain. I know it's just a stupid head game but that's my security blanket. Have ya ever heard of a guy with a roof for a security blanket?
I gotta cut this short but I'll get to you later kay?
Ja ne,
Ranma
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Dear George,
Nabiki once told me about this thing they have in the West, this lady answers all your problems if you just write to her. You get to have your letter published in the paper or a magazine and she'll tell you what to do. Imagine if I sent in a letter, she could never answer it. She's a practical person and if anyone knows anything about Nermia it's that you leave all rational thought at the sign saying, "Welcome to Nermia, Home of Nothing So Leave Before Something Bad Happens" and if a town has a sign like that you know you'd better run! They put it up a week ago and for about two days everybody had a good laugh but after that it just fell into the distance and newer, more interesting things were on the bemused minds of the townies of Nermia.
Ranma is being his normal, no nonsense, I hate the world self and after he finished that book of his he went back for more. I think it's great that he's getting into books but he's shut off all human contact! Watch, in about a week he'll become a bookaholic. I think that's great but he's delving too deep into it like he always does. See, if Ranma gets into something he has to be the best. There is no doubt in his mind that the possibility is there and he just hasn't activated the awesome brain activity he could if he wanted to. It kind of makes you think, what if all this stuff didn't happen and Ranma was just given some quality time to study? Wouldn't he get competitive and want to be the best? That's just the kind of thing he needs to become smarter! Sadly, things didn't turn out that way for him. Instead of being some enormous brainiac he has enormous martial arts skills. If he could only put the two together . . .
There's some hushing of students and towns people but nothing concrete has come into my hands. There is whispering and that is never good in this place. If anyone has information that they're not telling then that means something is coming, something big and bad.
I hope it's not who I think it might be. I know I'm acting all secretive but what if my nightmares are true? What if Saffron is back? I'm going to start snooping around and I'll use this week's allowance to get as much out of Nabiki as possible. I'm hoping it's nothing, a traveling, unbeatable ninja maybe.
Also, I haven't seen P-Chan for a while now and I'm starting to get worried. If something happened to him I don't know what I'd do. I know he comes in and out of my life quite erratically but he's usually here when I need him to comfort me. I guess he's with another owner or maybe he's on a farm with lots of other animals and a wide grassy knoll. He could find a female pig and they could have babies and a family. Then, when he came back they could all come too and take me away to the farm where I'd have no worries but what to name the little darlings.
Deep inside me though, I think of possibilities that are less positive. He could easily be one of the thousands of pets a year that get into accidents and earn the name "road kill". What if someone stole him and (this part makes me sick) ate him. I know I'm probably worrying for nothing but the feeling is still there.
The thought of losing something so close to me makes me want to et the person that hurt him and make them pay. Is that how Ranma felt when the odds were against me? Except I'm a human and you'd have to triple the feeling because we're engaged and that should mean something.
I really can't write anymore, I'm plagued with thoughts of uncertainty and the events of the future. What's in store for us? How will we ever know if we do not try to achieve what is rightfully ours, our destiny?
Akane
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Dear Journal,
I'm getting a little worried about Akane. She's been looking around the house for that stupid Pig-boy and come up with nothing. I told her the last time I saw him was with Ryoga so maybe once he came back so would her stupid pig. I hate not telling her about Porkbreath but I gave my word and I can't go back on that.
I've gotten totally into books now, it's great! I've never felt so meaningful! Thing is, I've heard some rumors about something big and ugly coming and if anyone is gonna stop this thing it's me, like always. I'm like this town's Spiderman, I'm your friendly, neighborhood Saotome. It's hard to have a whole town on your back asking you how things are going and just waiting for something to happen. These people are about of disaster seeking weirdoes and once everything is calm they get bored and wait for the next explosion to ignore. The only two things you can bet on in this town are the Kuno's insanity and Ranma Saotome saving the day. Heck, he'd even kill to win a fight. And how am I supposed to just go on as if nothing happened?
They expect me to be this super human guy that can fix things in the blink of an eye and still have room for dinner, even though that happens. I always have room for dinner but that's not the point. The point is that I've got a lot to deal with and I don't live for conflict like they do. They don't realize that it's not always a fair fight, I've gotta be sneaky and manipulative and they think they get every damn thing about me but they don't! I'm too frustrated to write more, sorry buddy!
Ja ne,
Ranma
A/N: Hey!!! I haven't posted a new chapter for this in a while but I'm gonna start it up again. I'm almost done Don't Leave Me so I'll have my full attention on this! Also, if you think there is no real point or it moves slow things will happen! I wanted to make this fic about the healing process and how they'd deal with this situation if it actually affected Ranma. And now . . .
A/N: If they get a little OOC please remember that the characters are writing in a personal possession and we wouldn't know what they would write after the series. Thanks to all the people who review my stories and me! You can email me at tiney_panda@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading!
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Dear Diary,
I'm getting worried again. I don't know how it happens but it sort of creeps up on me when I lower my guard. First I think a window is open and there's a draft going through my room. Then as I look over my shoulder a cold shiver goes down my back and I shudder. After that, my brain starts to reel out any possibility close to believable about evil people and Saffron coming back. I'll try to shake it off and then find myself searching everywhere for you and writing about anything. I hate calling it writing because it feels like I'm talking to another person. You are an inanimate object and nothing more. I should believe that but I just can't make myself! What have you done to me? I must be a hospital case the way I write and talk to you!
Looking back at what I've wrote it almost makes you a friend. I mean, people only tell their very good friends about their secret plans and feelings which is the bulk of what's been written in here. I'm a little embarrassed even but I know you're not real and you can't just get up, walk to Ranma's room and open yourself to the juiciest page. Of course any other person would make me feel just as embarrassed! See? Now I'm lying to you. I must repeat to myself "you are not a person" what, twenty times? That should do it . . . it didn't. Well, now I feel guilty, you don't even have a name.
What would you like your new name to be? Earl? Suru? Diary-chan? How about George? Yes, you are George. If only because you are as curious as that American monkey to find out about my life. You leave yourself so blank your sheets are pleading for me to write in them and bring them to ink tainted life. Curious, curious George . . . has a ring to it doesn't it?
I don't know what to make of Ranma's letter. Was it any deeper than a guilty jerk who felt a slight pain in the pit of his stomach thinking it was just the reminiscing spoils of my labor and deciding to make peace so I would never cook for him again? Or dad and Genma said something half mentioning the word 'honor' making him run with his tail between his legs up stairs and write out the pitiful sentence? Well, now that I've got all those negative ideas out I can tell you about what I really think it meant. George, I'm getting to him. I can sense it when I'm around. That feeling of nervousness (a very important emotion) around me that he obviously builds up is just the start.
At least I cracked down on his brain and made his depression shove over a bit to make a little room for me. Of course, if Ranma were here he would be saying that his brain would need a whole lot of room to fit me. What a jerk! He's stirring up anger in me and he didn't even say it! Maybe that's my problem, I take him too seriously. It's not my fault, I just go with my first instinct and ever since the day Kuno acknowledged his love for me that had been the direction it instinctively directed me. I'd like to change the topic from me and start to explain a feverishly confusing conversation I had today with 'guess who'. He was moping around, dragging his feet so that the floor would be piled high in front of them if it wasn't hardwood. He was deep into some book he had borrowed from the library and almost bumped into me.
Now, I have to take a second to express how deeply odd it is to have Ranma go to the library. He never has the time to go and read in some "dusty ol' book house that only the creepy library lady goes and she, lookin' older than the books an' dustier, ain't a pretty sight for any guy." Honestly! Does he think all library's are like the Crypt Keeper's? The library lady is, to say the least, how he described her but the library is nice and every time I go it reminds me of home. You know, what home should smell like, warm and cozy with a hint of mustiness that comes with age. I might sound crazy right now but George; I swear it's true! Anyways, back to the conversation.
"Hello Ranma how's the book?"
"Huh? Oh hey Akane, what's up?" (he didn't even look up, he stopped half- way down the hall and waited for my reply)
"Oh nothing, I was just wondering how you were. Thanks for the note." (I moved my head up to his and stared into his eyes as they scanned his book. It didn't look like a very skillful read, it was large like a children's book or one of those educational things)
"No prob. Hmmm…" (he flipped the page and nodded along with the text)
"Am I interrupting something?" (I laughed nervously)
"Uh, not right now, but later. Besides, my gi's in the laundry, dummy."
"Oh, okay. Right! Well, then I better go…" (I waited for his soft-spoken plea for me to stay)
" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ." (needless to say there was no plea)
"Need to add anything before I leave?" (I was fishing for a conversation, even a fight at this point)
"Can I ask ya a question Akane?" (he was still reading his book as he muttered this)
"Sure Ranma. What is it?" (I was getting a little worried, he sounded kinda serious)
"Do you . . . uhh . . . do you . . ." Ranma started looking up from his book and staring right into my eyes with his icy blue sapphires) ((yes, I know sapphires aren't blue and their no match for his eyes))
"Yes Ranma?" (thoughts were racing through my head, could the letter last night just be the tip of the iceberg? Was he going to tell me he might like me?)
"Do you know snakes can never close their eyes?" (I almost face faulted)
SNAKES? He wants to talk about bloody snakes! Who the hell does he think he is, playing with a girl's emotion like that? What an insane freak! Then again, he has picked up a new interest. An interest he was so into he went to all the trouble of going to the library to research and Ranma Saotome does not research unless it has something to do with martial arts or personal gain. I'll never understand him George! Wow, this was a long entry!
Akane
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Dear Journal,
Did you know snakes can't close their eyes? Well, I guess before me you didn't know much of anything. Lucky you the first person you meet aside from the guy (or girl) stuffing you in a box is a nut job like me! Anyway, snakes can never close their eyes, some sorta no eyelid do-hicky. I'd never want that. To have to see everything, twenty-four hours a day would be torture. Having to watch all the pain and horror of everyone you meet's lives and never being allowed to turn away for a second, to blink away a tear. I don't know yet if they can cry but I bet that would help. People think it would great to have that ability, you would notice so much more but you'd have to watch every heartbreaking second. If that happened to me I'd go crazy but then again, I'm already three miles past insane.
I had a conversation with Akane today. It was really easy to talk to her because of my book. I was so intent on reading I didn't say anything stupid! When she asked me if I wanted to go spar I just couldn't put the book down! I made some excuse that I ripped my gi or something even though I usually just watch and point out her mistakes when we spar on a day like today. Today is a great day out and it's a time when we all need to get real lazy and I like to lie on the roof. I try to hide from the sun's powerful rays but it's really hard! The sun probably doesn't blink right? Well, maybe the night is one big, long blink that the sun has to make to regenerate itself. That sounded ridiculous didn't it?
I've been reading a lot lately and it's seriously paying off! I'm writing bigger words and making a little more sense. Of course, I'll never be one of those uppity, tight-lipped fluffs with about as much sense as funny clothes they wear. I'm not reading about any scientific theories or hypothesis' but I know what they are and that is totally enough! I keep going back to that dictionary of mine and reading up on stuff. I dunno why but it kinda makes me feel better. It makes me feel a lot smarter and like I'm making something of myself. That's probably the dumbest thing I ever wrote. Too bad I'm using a pen and not pencil.
I just bought this book that's so interesting! It's about this guy's life and how he has to deal with all these crazy problems and there's magic and all that. It's from a little while ago and this kid has to go to magic school and has zany adventures. I know you probably don't believe I bought a book but I swear on my dictionary I did! Of course, nobody else is gonna hear about this and I'm pretty sure you wont be running to the press.
So today I woke up and reached over for my book, hopped onto the roof through the window and laid down again, staring up and reading a page or two once in awhile. People say that a good place that you can call your own is the best place to think. Well, I've made the roof a giant grid. At different sections I can think about anything I want to how my hair is and in some parts I have complete silence, absence of all thought. Just me and the sky. That's my favorite place, I've got no doubt, no problems, just silence. All the other parts help me too and I've figured out the bulk of my problems up there. In fact, I'm here right now, writing in my domain. I know it's just a stupid head game but that's my security blanket. Have ya ever heard of a guy with a roof for a security blanket?
I gotta cut this short but I'll get to you later kay?
Ja ne,
Ranma
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Dear George,
Nabiki once told me about this thing they have in the West, this lady answers all your problems if you just write to her. You get to have your letter published in the paper or a magazine and she'll tell you what to do. Imagine if I sent in a letter, she could never answer it. She's a practical person and if anyone knows anything about Nermia it's that you leave all rational thought at the sign saying, "Welcome to Nermia, Home of Nothing So Leave Before Something Bad Happens" and if a town has a sign like that you know you'd better run! They put it up a week ago and for about two days everybody had a good laugh but after that it just fell into the distance and newer, more interesting things were on the bemused minds of the townies of Nermia.
Ranma is being his normal, no nonsense, I hate the world self and after he finished that book of his he went back for more. I think it's great that he's getting into books but he's shut off all human contact! Watch, in about a week he'll become a bookaholic. I think that's great but he's delving too deep into it like he always does. See, if Ranma gets into something he has to be the best. There is no doubt in his mind that the possibility is there and he just hasn't activated the awesome brain activity he could if he wanted to. It kind of makes you think, what if all this stuff didn't happen and Ranma was just given some quality time to study? Wouldn't he get competitive and want to be the best? That's just the kind of thing he needs to become smarter! Sadly, things didn't turn out that way for him. Instead of being some enormous brainiac he has enormous martial arts skills. If he could only put the two together . . .
There's some hushing of students and towns people but nothing concrete has come into my hands. There is whispering and that is never good in this place. If anyone has information that they're not telling then that means something is coming, something big and bad.
I hope it's not who I think it might be. I know I'm acting all secretive but what if my nightmares are true? What if Saffron is back? I'm going to start snooping around and I'll use this week's allowance to get as much out of Nabiki as possible. I'm hoping it's nothing, a traveling, unbeatable ninja maybe.
Also, I haven't seen P-Chan for a while now and I'm starting to get worried. If something happened to him I don't know what I'd do. I know he comes in and out of my life quite erratically but he's usually here when I need him to comfort me. I guess he's with another owner or maybe he's on a farm with lots of other animals and a wide grassy knoll. He could find a female pig and they could have babies and a family. Then, when he came back they could all come too and take me away to the farm where I'd have no worries but what to name the little darlings.
Deep inside me though, I think of possibilities that are less positive. He could easily be one of the thousands of pets a year that get into accidents and earn the name "road kill". What if someone stole him and (this part makes me sick) ate him. I know I'm probably worrying for nothing but the feeling is still there.
The thought of losing something so close to me makes me want to et the person that hurt him and make them pay. Is that how Ranma felt when the odds were against me? Except I'm a human and you'd have to triple the feeling because we're engaged and that should mean something.
I really can't write anymore, I'm plagued with thoughts of uncertainty and the events of the future. What's in store for us? How will we ever know if we do not try to achieve what is rightfully ours, our destiny?
Akane
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Dear Journal,
I'm getting a little worried about Akane. She's been looking around the house for that stupid Pig-boy and come up with nothing. I told her the last time I saw him was with Ryoga so maybe once he came back so would her stupid pig. I hate not telling her about Porkbreath but I gave my word and I can't go back on that.
I've gotten totally into books now, it's great! I've never felt so meaningful! Thing is, I've heard some rumors about something big and ugly coming and if anyone is gonna stop this thing it's me, like always. I'm like this town's Spiderman, I'm your friendly, neighborhood Saotome. It's hard to have a whole town on your back asking you how things are going and just waiting for something to happen. These people are about of disaster seeking weirdoes and once everything is calm they get bored and wait for the next explosion to ignore. The only two things you can bet on in this town are the Kuno's insanity and Ranma Saotome saving the day. Heck, he'd even kill to win a fight. And how am I supposed to just go on as if nothing happened?
They expect me to be this super human guy that can fix things in the blink of an eye and still have room for dinner, even though that happens. I always have room for dinner but that's not the point. The point is that I've got a lot to deal with and I don't live for conflict like they do. They don't realize that it's not always a fair fight, I've gotta be sneaky and manipulative and they think they get every damn thing about me but they don't! I'm too frustrated to write more, sorry buddy!
Ja ne,
Ranma
A/N: Hey!!! I haven't posted a new chapter for this in a while but I'm gonna start it up again. I'm almost done Don't Leave Me so I'll have my full attention on this! Also, if you think there is no real point or it moves slow things will happen! I wanted to make this fic about the healing process and how they'd deal with this situation if it actually affected Ranma. And now . . .