Solace chapter 8
right then. ^^
LAST CHAPTER:
Korunue broods, pursuing her thoughts around and around in a circle. If she died.... Ronin and Sinai might be sad. No, they WOULD be. She forced herself to think of them. Ronin would go out of his mind with grief. Sinai... would be shaken, but... they hadn't known each other long... but Ronin.. but, if she kept this up... would she cause him more heartache over a lifetime then in one single act?
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Korunue stares out the window, brooding still. If she died, how much pain would he feel? More importantly, what would he do? Assuming the best, he would grieve, and move on. At the worst... well, he wouldn't suffer long. But if she lived, and they had to face things like this all the time... would it hurt more or less? she sighs, thinking hard. She swallows, hard. How much pain... it was impossible to measure. She hurt the one she loved either way. But what about herself? A lifetime of pain... ended in one fateful moment... if she had no second, no kaishakunin to behead her, she could do it the womanly way... she had to stop thinking like this! She shakes her head, as if to shake the thoughts out of it. She sighs again, looking down at Ronin while he slept. What... no, no use even wondering, she KNEW what he would say, what he would want her to do. But... she was never very strong, after all... did she have the strength to go on? Knowing that she would cause pain? She sighed, a tear dripping onto Ronin's sleeping cheek. She blinks slowly, looking at Ronin. She does love him, so much... she couldn't bear to see him hurt because of her... if she was dead, some part of her whispers, she wouldn't SEE him be hurt... and if both life and death would hurt him, best choose death... but some part of her resists, opposes still. That part was shrinking, though, worn out, in need of renewal... and the morbid part was growing. Why now? She doesn't even think to question.
She makes up her mind. She needs... companionship. Comfort. Anything but her thoughts... she snuck out of her room, leaving her fluffy black dog ears alone for the moment, leaving behind her bow... she sneaks downstairs and sits on the bar, looking out the window, thinking, brooding, sadness in her eyes aparent. She then stands up suddanly. This wasn't going to WORK! She crept back up to her room, curling up on the rug, trying to fall asleep so she wouldn't hurt herself. At least, not tonight...
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Korunue eventually did make it downstairs, and asked for advice, but nobody knew the answers to her questions. Then, Ronin rolls around in the bed upstairs. Suddenly he sits bolt upright and looks around, coughing a little. "Kor?" he calls, his voice a little raspy. He does look much better than he did yesterday though.
Korunue catches the word, her senstitive dog's ears perking up, and she nods farewell to her companions as she races up the stairs. She KNEW she shouldn't have left him alone! She slips in quietly, mask sliping into place. "yes? I'm here." she says, panting a little, sitting on the bed next to him.
Ronin blinks at Korunue. "What? I'm fine." he says grinning. "I feel a lot better than I did the past few days. I'm tired of sleeping too, lets go downstairs." he says, climbing out of bed and checking his swords and pouches.
Korunue smiles a little, ashamed of herself. Oh. Heh... oops. Overactive imagination once again... she leads the way back down to the bar, then avoids it and moves to the couch that Ronin preferred. She sits on it, patting the space beside her, glancing embarrasedly at her former companions.
Ronin smiles and follows Korunue downstairs. He stretches a little at the top of the stairs, enjoying being up and about again. He leaps down the rest of the steps and goes over to the couch to sit down.
Korunue shrinks away from her former companion's icy glare. "sorry" she mouths, before turning back to Ronin. "you sure you're alright?" she asks, concerned. "I mean, you seemed pretty sick... and you slept a long time." she tilts her head a little to the side cutely, wondering... glad that he didn't know her thoughts.
Ronin grins at Korunue. "Aye, told you I know a bit about herbal medicine. Just give me some sleep and I'm all better."
Korunue smiles a little, content that he was feeling better. She stares out the window, thinking morbid thoghts, jumping a little as Rhys entered. To live, or die? She still was paralized by indecision, and growing tired of the whole thing... she didn't know what to do anymore... no idea in the least. Upstairs, Sinai groans a bit, beginning to awaken.
Her former companion decides for her. He walks over to Korune, and leans down to whisper in her ear, and murmurs a single word "Life." before walking back over to the bar.
Korunue jumps! What the... "yeah, wadda you know." she mumbled, under her breath halfway. From upstairs, Sinai asks if she can borrow some fresh clothes. Korunue wonders if Sinai would be able to hear her thoughts as well... she focused as best she could upstairs and thought "go ahead.". She returned to her brooding.
Ronin shakes himself awake. He must have fallen asleep, maybe an after affect of the medicine he had taken. He raises his hand at scratches Korunue's ears. "Sorry must be something the medicine did."
Korunue hears some stuff about the "path of life" that her former companion murmers out loud, and winces, knowing that Ronin might pick them up and guess... no,no, he can't suspect her thoughts, he'd be crushed she was even thinking of it. " 'salright" she mumbles, thinking.
Ronin turns his head and looks at Korunue. "Is something wrong? You seem to be distracted."
Korunue jumps a little , blushing a tad in embarrasment. "no, no, it's nothing." doh! She SHOULD have said "i'm fine"... now he knows there's something, that's nothing... but nothing could mean... gah! this would make her head hurt if she kept it up... but it was better than her previous thoughts.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "Somethigns wrong, now what is it? You're not still worried about me are you?" he says with a small grin.
Korunue shakes her head guiltily. "no, no... you are alright, right?" she asks, trying to change the subject... he was like a hawk, circling, and she didn't want him to pounce on the truth... at least, not until she had decided. Her companion's so-called "help" really wasn't.
Ronin focuses his ears on the wall, wondering why it was shaking some. He shrugs and turns his attention back on Korunue. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine now." he says, coughing a little, but still smiling at her some.
Korunue smiles a little in return. "good." she says, leaning back a little. She keeps smiling, though destracted. She had forgotten why by now, but she knew that he could not know of her thoughts. It would not be good..
Sinai speaks with Korunue through mindspeak to warn her. Rhys, the demon, is looking for you and Ronin. What's going on? He just walked in on me half-dressed.
Korunue hears sinai. "crap." she mumers, thinking hard 'We're downstairs!' in the direction of her room.
Thought sae. He's recruited me to come look for you with him. Hopefully ye willna be down there when we go downstairs.
Ronin scratches Korunue's ears "So what has been going on while I was asleep? Anything interesting?" he asks with a slight grin.
Korunue turns to Ronin. "come on... that scary guy is looking for you again, says Sinai, and she says to get the hell outta here!" well, not exactly what she had said... "some demon came looking for you, and he's back... says he wants to 'talk', but I don't trust him..."
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "Why would I run from someone? Especially someone I don't even know, or have never heard of?" he asks. He might have been sick just a few days ago, but he sure isn't going to be a wimp about anything.
Rhys is standing on the balcony and looking down, although feeling stupid Rhys cared not at the momment as his wings opened and Rhys stretched his neck.. "Ronin..." Rhys says with a haunting tone.. "Flee and hell will catch you... Stay.. and blessed the girl may be.."
His companion turned to Sinai inside the room still. "Do not flee or death may be....uh...here." So he wasn't a poet...
Korunue bites her lower lip. "so be it." she murmers, almost as if it was some great terrible destiny.... with the way she'd been thinking lately, everything was dramatic to her... she once again pondered death... she could run in fear, die before he caught up to her, make it look like someone jumped her... but would he forgive himself after?
Ronin turns and focuses all his attention at the creature on the balcony. He quickly stands up from the couch. Unconciously, his left hand drifts to the hilt of his smaller sword. "What do you want?" he calls out, his voice not showing any fear, just confidence.
Korunue shrinks in her seat, cowering from Rhys. Why was she so scared, if she was going to... she dared not think it. Too damn many mind readers about. She did not know... she is more confused then ever before, and terrified as well, though she tries to hide it. "be careful" she whispers to Ronin softly.
Rhys comes to the last step and chuckles.. "Lets at least bring scenery to the scene.. Outside?" Rhys says.. what he wants is unknown right now.. people only assume a fight.. But usually with Rhys it was something more.
Ronin glances over his shoulder at Korunue, but keeps his ears focused on the creature. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me." he says, a grin playing across his lips. He turns back to the creature and stands up straight, his hand leaves the hilt. "Sure. I think i can trust you more than a human at the least." he waits for the creature to lead the way outside.
Korunue stands up quickly to go with him. "you're NOT going out there alone with that... that... thing. Look at it! It just reeks of evil!" she murmered to Ronin and Ronin alone. She picks up her bow, ready.
"Yes i like to see the look on their face as people die." Rhys says simply following Ronin outside to the field humming a bit.. "Now mortal.. you wonder why one as i seem to grasp your attention?" Rhys says, standing full and wings outstretched..
Ronin scans the field with his ears, then nods at the creature, looking up at him to study his face. "Aye, the thought crossed my mind."
"Of coUrse it has your only mortal." Rhys says, pacing back and forth.. humming to himself.. "You and and your friends have been invited to a manor not far off from the inn.. only a few miles.. For what i cannot tell you as oRonin tugs at Korunue's arm, trying to get her to come up to the room and sit.f yet.."
Korunue follows them out, staying on the porch, bow loaded and ready. She isn't about to leave them be, not after a comment like that one... she wonders why he kept speaking of death as such, as she listens carefully. A party? Sounds like a trap to her.
Ronin grins at the creature. "Sounds interesting, but who exactly do you consider my friends? I've only got one that I know of really." he says nodding towards Korunue.
Rhys shakes his head at Korunue.. "It would be best to hide your thoughts.." Rhys says, sniffing slightly.. "A trap no and if you dont trust my personality suite yourself peon.."
Korunue frowned. Another damned mind reader? What if he told Ronin how much her thoughts had been on death of late? She shuddered, then leaned against the porch railing, watching Sinai. She still didn't know which would hurt him more... life, or death?
"well that answers your question doesnt it?" Rhys says, his dark red eyes dimming slightly as he licked about at his stained fangs..
Ronin grins at the creature. "Might I ask your name?" he says after a bit..
"Rhys Sebastian.." Rhys says quietly before stretching his neck and turning toward the forest.. "But the question is.. does it matter.." Rhys says, walking toward the manor..
Ronin turns to look at Korunue, shrugs and follows Rhys slowly.
Korunue narrows her eyes. What? That was no answer to her unspoken question! She began to follow Ronin at a distence, then threw caution to the wind and ran to his side. "are you sure about this?" she asks him softly. "Let's go back, check this out later."
Ronin turns back to Korunue. "Maybe we will go look some other time, if Rhys comes to fetch me again." he turns and heads back to Korunue.
Korunue is relived a little when he comes back to her. She wonders if maybe she should just tell him... no. He would be hurt that she's thinking of it. She sighs, wondering if she'll be able to tell anyone... no, most likely not. In this, she was alone.
Ronin tugs at Korunue's arm, trying to get her to come up to the room and sit. Korunue came with him, up to her room, sitting on the edge of her bed next to him, leaning on him and thinking.
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Korunue awakens, finding herself on her bed next to Ronin. She sighs, thinking, looking out the window. She gets up and moves to stand by it, looking out at nothing, pondering. Life and death were swirling about in her mind, and secrecy, and longing. She was completely confused, and shut her eyes to let her feelings guide her. After a while, Korunue was still not getting anywhere. Even her feelings were mixed up, confused. Wasn't there an old saying to follow your heart? But her heart was mixed up... no. Her heart was sure. She loved Ronin. But that didn't HELP! Which would be better for him, which would be worse, and why? She thought back, to a while before. "promise me you'll never think it" he had said... but here she was, thinking it. She couldn't tell him. She needed to tell him.
Korunue opens her eyes and looks back at her love. She sighs. She wishes... that she had somebody to ask about all of this... but any sane person's response she already knew. Nobody could be objective about death. Well... maybe... but she was off on buisness. She sighs again, deep in thought.
Ronin yawns and sits up on the bed. He looks over at Korunue and places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey" he says, grinning. "Sleep good?"
Korunue jumped a little. "oh, yeah... fine..." she sounds distracted. She blinks a few times to bring herself out of her deep thoughts. To tell, or not? The pressure was becoming unbearable. She frowned. Tell? Don't tell? She needed...she wanted...she should... this was all too much for her.
Ronin tilts his head and studies Korunue, something seemed different about her, something wrong. "What's wrong? You got something on your mind?"
orunue thought, and thought, and thought some more. Finally she spoke. "ye-es... but... well..." she trails off. At least it was a start... but she still had to decide: lie and say it was something else, or tell the truth?
Ronin squeezes Korunue's shoulder a little. "Go on, what is it?" Korunue seemed to be thinking an awful lot lately, maybe he could get something out of her this time.
Korunue sighed. She couldn't lie to him... she couldn't bring herself to do it. She looked away, then down to her lap. "promise you won't be mad..." she whispers, biting her lip nervously.
Ronin grins for a second. "Alright, I promise I wont get mad." he says. What could be so important that would make him mad?
Korunue takes a deep breath. He was clueless... he had no idea of her thoughts... this would be hard. "well... I've been thinking about what...she...said... and... maybe she's right... I mean, if it wern't for me, she would never have come..." please let him get it, she thought to herself. Please don't make me say it out loud.
Ronin has to think for a minute, finally he places who the she was...it must be that youkai/shapeshifter woman. He remembers what happened and frowns. "Bah, don't pay any mind to what she said, she didn't know anything. She just wanted to start trouble is all." And did a good job of it too, he says to himself.
Korunue's mouth twitches into a half smile. "that's just it, though... she caused trouble because of me... I think she'll be back... or if not her, there'll be others... because of me... but if I wasn't here... they'd go away..." she says, the words hard to say. She waits for the rebuke she knows is coming. Why? Why did she tell him?
Ronin frowns at Korunue and shakes his head. "It's not your fault. Someone like her is no better than a human. It could have well been me she was after." He needs to comfort her, otherwise she might try suicide again.
Korunue looks away. "yeah... even if it was you, it wouldn't hurt if it wasn't about me... if I was gone... maybe, jut maybe, my death would hurt less than people like her comeing back again and agian, for the rest of our lives..." she says this softly, knowing how he'll respond... needing, craing the comfort anyway.
Ronin blinks at Korunue. "Your death?" he thought he told her that dying wouldn't solve anything. "I love you Kor, and all your death would do is hurt me, so don't think about it again." he gives her a hug, holding her close and trying to comfort her.
Korunue lets the tears she has been holding back flow, as she hugs him back. "I know... I can't help but think it, though..." she whispers in his ear. "and I don't know why..." she gulps hard, wondering if he'll be mad...
Ronin holds Korunue close. "It's ok, just calm down. Stop worrying about things so much." he whispers back into her ear.
Korunue sniffles a little. "i can't... it's my nature to worry... especially about you... I love you too much not to worry about you..." she whispered, sniffling, trying to stop crying altogether.
Ronin grins at Korunue and gives Korunue a quick kiss. "It would help if you tried to cut back on your worrying. Besides, I'll be fine, I always am." he says, grinning wide.
Korunue manages a weak smile, though she still feels miserable. She sniffs once more, looking out the window. Why had that seemed so hard to her? Why had she not wanted to tell him? All this worry over nothing. It seemed... not right. Something was wrong with her. But... what? Ronin doesnt say anything more, he just sits on the bed, hugging Korunue tightly. Korunue sits there in silence for a bit, thinking. Finally, she dares voice her silent thoughts. "what... what's wrong with me? Why am I thinking like this?" she asks meekly. She is more confused then ever: nothing is making sense anymore.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "There is nothign wrong with you. You're making yourself think like that." he sighs and places his hand on her head, scratching her ears slowly.
Korunue sighs. "but why?" she protests, sounding like a small child wanting to know why they had to go to bed early. "Why on earth would I make myself think like that?" she wonders aloud. "god knows I don't WANT to... die..." she has trouble getting the word out. "or do I?" she whispers half under her breath.
Ronin gives Korunue a good squeeze. "I'm sure you don't want to die. And the only reason you think like that is stupid people like that shapeshifter woman do dumb things."
Korunue sighs, a deep, sad sigh. "if only I was that sure... I can't trust myself, Ronin... not when I'm like this." She turns to him, torment obvious in her eyes.
Ronin looks at Korunue's eyes. "Then stop being like this, plain and simple. Stop worrying, or let me do some worrying for a change....like I'm doing now."
Korunue bites her lip. This was going nowhere... and she didn't want him to worry. She looked away, looking down and away from him at an angle. "it's not that easy..." she whispers, not sure why she was telling him this...
Ronin frowns at Korunue and sighs "Well don't worry about me at least, And let me worry about you."
Korunue sighs. "I don't want you to worry about me.. I shouldn't have said anything.." then she senses the irony and laughs, a short burst of suddan laughter which fades all too soon. More surprise than delight...
Ronin sighs again and decides that maybe he should make her laugh some more. He scoots closer and quickly tickles her for a few seconds.Korunue giggles a little, putting her hand on her ribs. She smiles, done brooding for the moment... though her morbid thoughts stay at the back of her mind, threatening to pop up once she lets her guard down...Ronin grins at Korunue and tries to get apst her guard and tickle her again. He is starting to have fun it seems. Korunue giggles more, against her will. She shoves his hand away and narrows her eyes... then leaps forward, in an attempt to tickle him back furiously. "can you take it as well as dish it?" she taunted, mockingly. Ronin laughs and falls over on hsi side. Trying his best to catch ahold of Korunue's wrists and stop her from tickling him.
Korunue yelps as he catches her wrists and wishes she had a tail to tickle him with. She tugs at her wrists, trying to loosen them and tickle him... she yanks them down towards his ribs in an attempt to tickle him anyway, even with her hands so bound. Ronin grins evily at Korunue and tightens his grip a little, slowly moving Korunue's hands away from him. "Oh no, you're not going to get me." he says, laughing. Korunue mock-pouts, then has an idea. She slips off her shoes and lifts a foot to try and tickle him with it, though she can't quite reach... she frowns, then tries tackling him instead.
Ronin rolls over on his back as Korunue tackles him. He tries to maintain hsi grip on her wrists but loses it. Korunue grins, tickling him without mercy. She smirks in victory, her face full of mirth for once. She sits on his stomach as she tickles his ribs. Ronin squirms, laughing. "OK...ok...you win, just...let me breathe, k?" he says all this in between large gasps for air mixed with laughter.
Korunue lets up, falling back onto the bed, laughing herself. She smirks. "ha! Who's the stronger one NOW, hmm? To think: an Ikkiyou beat a hanyou!" she crows, victorious. The sparkle has returned to her eyes, and she looks happy once more.
Ronin looks over at her and grins. He rolls over and almost moves to tickle her, but changes his mind and lays down next to her. "Aye, you got me." he says, smiling, and still gasping for breath. Korunue smiles, staring up at the ceiling happily. But... she wasn't doing anything, and she despratly hunted for something to think about to keep her good mood. She keeps smiling, thinking about tickle fights... then, quite suddanly, reaches up and takes the pillow from the bed and hits him in the face with it, sticking her tounge out.
Ronin glares at Korunue "Hey!" he says, trying to sound angry, but he can't keep it up and breaks down laughing. Korunue laughs as well, a long, hearty laugh that leaves her short of breath and with tears running down her face. She holds onto the pillow, just in case...Ronin sits up and grabs the other pillow. He holds it like a shield and tries to reach around Korunue to tickle her again. Korunue throws the pillow in his face and squirms away from the tickle, giggling hystericlly. She then realizes her mistake in throwing the pillow and yelps, leaping over to the other bed, hopefully out of range of his pillow-throwing.
Ronin grins at Korunue and clutches both pillows tightly. "You can't get them now." he says, chuckling softly. Korunue sits cross-legged on the other bed and turns up her nose, making a "hmph!" sound, shutting her eyes. She looks like a little kid pretending to be snooty more than a snooty person.Ronin stares at Korunue blankly for a moment then grins and throws a pillow at her.Korunue yelps, ducking the pillow. "mine!" she says, childishly, hugging it to her chest. She twists slightly back and forth while clutching it, like a small child with a doll. There is a teasing look in her eyes.
Ronin laughs at Korunue and throws the other pillow at her. He quickly leaps after it, aiming to tackle her.Korunue ducks the pillow but not the tackle, ending up underneath Ronin. She squeals, and tries to wriggle out from under him, reaching for a pillow and hitting him repeatedly with it as she does so.Ronin grins at Korunue and reaches for her wrists, trying to pin and trap her again. Korunue yelps, yanking her right arm close to her before he can grab it, so that he ends up with her left wrist only. She then proceeds to tickle him to make him let go of that as well, giggling once more.
Ronin tries to resist the urge to laugh, but doesn't fare too well. He starts laughing and rolls off of her, clutching at his ribs. Korunue smirks, victorious once more. She sits up, beaming mischiviously. "ha! I win yet agian!" she cries, tauntingly. "weak humans my butt. I got more human than you, and I beat you twice!"
Ronin looks up at Korunue and grins. "Third times the charm." he says, leaping at her and trying to pin her arms down somehow. Korunue yelps again, rolling backwards hoping to throw him off towards the end of the bed using his own momentem. She laughs as she does so, gasping for breath. Ronin does end up flailing off the end of the bed. So he crawls around the side and tries leaping up and maybe catching Kor at unawares.
Korunue was laughing so hard she didn't see him, and is thus cought by surprise as he leaps back onto her. She tickles like mad in self-defense. Ronin isn't going to let her get away with tickling this time. He struggles and reaches for her wrists again, if only he could just get them. Korunue isn't gonna fall for THAT one again. She snatches her wrists away, wriggling a little, then sneaks back to try and tickle some more. Ronin reaches for her wrists again. He leans down and quickly kisses her to distract her.
Korunue is distracted, definatly. He gets her wrists, and she pouts. "not fair!" she mock-protests, sticking out her lower lip in a mock-pout.
Ronin kisses Korunue again, slower this time. Quickly he pins her arms at her sides. "I win this time." he says with a grin.
Korunue kisses back, blushing. "yup." she says, a tad embarrased. "you sure did..." she doesn't seem to mind, though... she doesn't even seem to mind being pinned.
Ronin smiles at Korunue. "I think I'll just go to sleep right here. And keep your arms pinned in my sleep I might add." he says, yawning and laying his head down.
Korunue wriggles a little. "hey!" she says, pulling her leg up in an effort to kick his bum with it. She sticks her tounge out. "oh no you don't!"
Ronin looks up at Korunue and grins. "Well, where would you have me go to sleep then?" he asks, his voice still playful.
Korunue wriggles some more. "not on top of me, for sure. Lay off the chocolate, tubby." she mocks, her tone and her eyes teasing, showing she means no insult.
Ronin grins at her. "How about beside you?" He lets her arms go and crawls off of her. Scooting up close to her, he gives her another kiss.
Korunue smiles. "this works." she says, as soon as he stops kissing her long enough for her to talk. She then gives him a kiss of her own. "yeah.. this works." she repeats, content.
Ronin smiles at Korunue "This is pretty comfortable, why don't we do this more often anyways?" he asks before kissing her again.
Korunue smiles, kissing him back. "dunno... maybe you were sick or something?" she asks, teasingly. "nah, that can't be... you NEVER get sick, you big strong hanyou you." she kids, a sparkle in her eyes.
Ronin laughs at Korunue "Aye, I dont try to anyways." He yawns and kisses her again. "I don't feel like moving, ever again."
Korunue snuggles next to him. "sounds good." she says, smiling. She punches him lightly in the ribs. "that's still a dirty trick, though.. I can't defend while being kissed!" She snuggles down, getting comfortable.
Ronin grins at Korunue and stiffles a yawn. "It worked though." he says, a sleepy smile on his face. He wraps his arms around Korunue and pulls her close before drifting off to sleep.
Korunue revels in the comfort. "that it did." she murmers, before falling asleep herself. She is happy, for once... and to think, hours before she had been planning to end it all! Her last thought before succumbing to a healing sleep is of the irony of it all, and the truth of the saying: it's always darkest before dawn.
That sounds like a good place to stop. REVIEW!
right then. ^^
LAST CHAPTER:
Korunue broods, pursuing her thoughts around and around in a circle. If she died.... Ronin and Sinai might be sad. No, they WOULD be. She forced herself to think of them. Ronin would go out of his mind with grief. Sinai... would be shaken, but... they hadn't known each other long... but Ronin.. but, if she kept this up... would she cause him more heartache over a lifetime then in one single act?
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Korunue stares out the window, brooding still. If she died, how much pain would he feel? More importantly, what would he do? Assuming the best, he would grieve, and move on. At the worst... well, he wouldn't suffer long. But if she lived, and they had to face things like this all the time... would it hurt more or less? she sighs, thinking hard. She swallows, hard. How much pain... it was impossible to measure. She hurt the one she loved either way. But what about herself? A lifetime of pain... ended in one fateful moment... if she had no second, no kaishakunin to behead her, she could do it the womanly way... she had to stop thinking like this! She shakes her head, as if to shake the thoughts out of it. She sighs again, looking down at Ronin while he slept. What... no, no use even wondering, she KNEW what he would say, what he would want her to do. But... she was never very strong, after all... did she have the strength to go on? Knowing that she would cause pain? She sighed, a tear dripping onto Ronin's sleeping cheek. She blinks slowly, looking at Ronin. She does love him, so much... she couldn't bear to see him hurt because of her... if she was dead, some part of her whispers, she wouldn't SEE him be hurt... and if both life and death would hurt him, best choose death... but some part of her resists, opposes still. That part was shrinking, though, worn out, in need of renewal... and the morbid part was growing. Why now? She doesn't even think to question.
She makes up her mind. She needs... companionship. Comfort. Anything but her thoughts... she snuck out of her room, leaving her fluffy black dog ears alone for the moment, leaving behind her bow... she sneaks downstairs and sits on the bar, looking out the window, thinking, brooding, sadness in her eyes aparent. She then stands up suddanly. This wasn't going to WORK! She crept back up to her room, curling up on the rug, trying to fall asleep so she wouldn't hurt herself. At least, not tonight...
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Korunue eventually did make it downstairs, and asked for advice, but nobody knew the answers to her questions. Then, Ronin rolls around in the bed upstairs. Suddenly he sits bolt upright and looks around, coughing a little. "Kor?" he calls, his voice a little raspy. He does look much better than he did yesterday though.
Korunue catches the word, her senstitive dog's ears perking up, and she nods farewell to her companions as she races up the stairs. She KNEW she shouldn't have left him alone! She slips in quietly, mask sliping into place. "yes? I'm here." she says, panting a little, sitting on the bed next to him.
Ronin blinks at Korunue. "What? I'm fine." he says grinning. "I feel a lot better than I did the past few days. I'm tired of sleeping too, lets go downstairs." he says, climbing out of bed and checking his swords and pouches.
Korunue smiles a little, ashamed of herself. Oh. Heh... oops. Overactive imagination once again... she leads the way back down to the bar, then avoids it and moves to the couch that Ronin preferred. She sits on it, patting the space beside her, glancing embarrasedly at her former companions.
Ronin smiles and follows Korunue downstairs. He stretches a little at the top of the stairs, enjoying being up and about again. He leaps down the rest of the steps and goes over to the couch to sit down.
Korunue shrinks away from her former companion's icy glare. "sorry" she mouths, before turning back to Ronin. "you sure you're alright?" she asks, concerned. "I mean, you seemed pretty sick... and you slept a long time." she tilts her head a little to the side cutely, wondering... glad that he didn't know her thoughts.
Ronin grins at Korunue. "Aye, told you I know a bit about herbal medicine. Just give me some sleep and I'm all better."
Korunue smiles a little, content that he was feeling better. She stares out the window, thinking morbid thoghts, jumping a little as Rhys entered. To live, or die? She still was paralized by indecision, and growing tired of the whole thing... she didn't know what to do anymore... no idea in the least. Upstairs, Sinai groans a bit, beginning to awaken.
Her former companion decides for her. He walks over to Korune, and leans down to whisper in her ear, and murmurs a single word "Life." before walking back over to the bar.
Korunue jumps! What the... "yeah, wadda you know." she mumbled, under her breath halfway. From upstairs, Sinai asks if she can borrow some fresh clothes. Korunue wonders if Sinai would be able to hear her thoughts as well... she focused as best she could upstairs and thought "go ahead.". She returned to her brooding.
Ronin shakes himself awake. He must have fallen asleep, maybe an after affect of the medicine he had taken. He raises his hand at scratches Korunue's ears. "Sorry must be something the medicine did."
Korunue hears some stuff about the "path of life" that her former companion murmers out loud, and winces, knowing that Ronin might pick them up and guess... no,no, he can't suspect her thoughts, he'd be crushed she was even thinking of it. " 'salright" she mumbles, thinking.
Ronin turns his head and looks at Korunue. "Is something wrong? You seem to be distracted."
Korunue jumps a little , blushing a tad in embarrasment. "no, no, it's nothing." doh! She SHOULD have said "i'm fine"... now he knows there's something, that's nothing... but nothing could mean... gah! this would make her head hurt if she kept it up... but it was better than her previous thoughts.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "Somethigns wrong, now what is it? You're not still worried about me are you?" he says with a small grin.
Korunue shakes her head guiltily. "no, no... you are alright, right?" she asks, trying to change the subject... he was like a hawk, circling, and she didn't want him to pounce on the truth... at least, not until she had decided. Her companion's so-called "help" really wasn't.
Ronin focuses his ears on the wall, wondering why it was shaking some. He shrugs and turns his attention back on Korunue. "Yes, I'm perfectly fine now." he says, coughing a little, but still smiling at her some.
Korunue smiles a little in return. "good." she says, leaning back a little. She keeps smiling, though destracted. She had forgotten why by now, but she knew that he could not know of her thoughts. It would not be good..
Sinai speaks with Korunue through mindspeak to warn her. Rhys, the demon, is looking for you and Ronin. What's going on? He just walked in on me half-dressed.
Korunue hears sinai. "crap." she mumers, thinking hard 'We're downstairs!' in the direction of her room.
Thought sae. He's recruited me to come look for you with him. Hopefully ye willna be down there when we go downstairs.
Ronin scratches Korunue's ears "So what has been going on while I was asleep? Anything interesting?" he asks with a slight grin.
Korunue turns to Ronin. "come on... that scary guy is looking for you again, says Sinai, and she says to get the hell outta here!" well, not exactly what she had said... "some demon came looking for you, and he's back... says he wants to 'talk', but I don't trust him..."
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "Why would I run from someone? Especially someone I don't even know, or have never heard of?" he asks. He might have been sick just a few days ago, but he sure isn't going to be a wimp about anything.
Rhys is standing on the balcony and looking down, although feeling stupid Rhys cared not at the momment as his wings opened and Rhys stretched his neck.. "Ronin..." Rhys says with a haunting tone.. "Flee and hell will catch you... Stay.. and blessed the girl may be.."
His companion turned to Sinai inside the room still. "Do not flee or death may be....uh...here." So he wasn't a poet...
Korunue bites her lower lip. "so be it." she murmers, almost as if it was some great terrible destiny.... with the way she'd been thinking lately, everything was dramatic to her... she once again pondered death... she could run in fear, die before he caught up to her, make it look like someone jumped her... but would he forgive himself after?
Ronin turns and focuses all his attention at the creature on the balcony. He quickly stands up from the couch. Unconciously, his left hand drifts to the hilt of his smaller sword. "What do you want?" he calls out, his voice not showing any fear, just confidence.
Korunue shrinks in her seat, cowering from Rhys. Why was she so scared, if she was going to... she dared not think it. Too damn many mind readers about. She did not know... she is more confused then ever before, and terrified as well, though she tries to hide it. "be careful" she whispers to Ronin softly.
Rhys comes to the last step and chuckles.. "Lets at least bring scenery to the scene.. Outside?" Rhys says.. what he wants is unknown right now.. people only assume a fight.. But usually with Rhys it was something more.
Ronin glances over his shoulder at Korunue, but keeps his ears focused on the creature. "I'll be fine, don't worry about me." he says, a grin playing across his lips. He turns back to the creature and stands up straight, his hand leaves the hilt. "Sure. I think i can trust you more than a human at the least." he waits for the creature to lead the way outside.
Korunue stands up quickly to go with him. "you're NOT going out there alone with that... that... thing. Look at it! It just reeks of evil!" she murmered to Ronin and Ronin alone. She picks up her bow, ready.
"Yes i like to see the look on their face as people die." Rhys says simply following Ronin outside to the field humming a bit.. "Now mortal.. you wonder why one as i seem to grasp your attention?" Rhys says, standing full and wings outstretched..
Ronin scans the field with his ears, then nods at the creature, looking up at him to study his face. "Aye, the thought crossed my mind."
"Of coUrse it has your only mortal." Rhys says, pacing back and forth.. humming to himself.. "You and and your friends have been invited to a manor not far off from the inn.. only a few miles.. For what i cannot tell you as oRonin tugs at Korunue's arm, trying to get her to come up to the room and sit.f yet.."
Korunue follows them out, staying on the porch, bow loaded and ready. She isn't about to leave them be, not after a comment like that one... she wonders why he kept speaking of death as such, as she listens carefully. A party? Sounds like a trap to her.
Ronin grins at the creature. "Sounds interesting, but who exactly do you consider my friends? I've only got one that I know of really." he says nodding towards Korunue.
Rhys shakes his head at Korunue.. "It would be best to hide your thoughts.." Rhys says, sniffing slightly.. "A trap no and if you dont trust my personality suite yourself peon.."
Korunue frowned. Another damned mind reader? What if he told Ronin how much her thoughts had been on death of late? She shuddered, then leaned against the porch railing, watching Sinai. She still didn't know which would hurt him more... life, or death?
"well that answers your question doesnt it?" Rhys says, his dark red eyes dimming slightly as he licked about at his stained fangs..
Ronin grins at the creature. "Might I ask your name?" he says after a bit..
"Rhys Sebastian.." Rhys says quietly before stretching his neck and turning toward the forest.. "But the question is.. does it matter.." Rhys says, walking toward the manor..
Ronin turns to look at Korunue, shrugs and follows Rhys slowly.
Korunue narrows her eyes. What? That was no answer to her unspoken question! She began to follow Ronin at a distence, then threw caution to the wind and ran to his side. "are you sure about this?" she asks him softly. "Let's go back, check this out later."
Ronin turns back to Korunue. "Maybe we will go look some other time, if Rhys comes to fetch me again." he turns and heads back to Korunue.
Korunue is relived a little when he comes back to her. She wonders if maybe she should just tell him... no. He would be hurt that she's thinking of it. She sighs, wondering if she'll be able to tell anyone... no, most likely not. In this, she was alone.
Ronin tugs at Korunue's arm, trying to get her to come up to the room and sit. Korunue came with him, up to her room, sitting on the edge of her bed next to him, leaning on him and thinking.
*******************
Korunue awakens, finding herself on her bed next to Ronin. She sighs, thinking, looking out the window. She gets up and moves to stand by it, looking out at nothing, pondering. Life and death were swirling about in her mind, and secrecy, and longing. She was completely confused, and shut her eyes to let her feelings guide her. After a while, Korunue was still not getting anywhere. Even her feelings were mixed up, confused. Wasn't there an old saying to follow your heart? But her heart was mixed up... no. Her heart was sure. She loved Ronin. But that didn't HELP! Which would be better for him, which would be worse, and why? She thought back, to a while before. "promise me you'll never think it" he had said... but here she was, thinking it. She couldn't tell him. She needed to tell him.
Korunue opens her eyes and looks back at her love. She sighs. She wishes... that she had somebody to ask about all of this... but any sane person's response she already knew. Nobody could be objective about death. Well... maybe... but she was off on buisness. She sighs again, deep in thought.
Ronin yawns and sits up on the bed. He looks over at Korunue and places a hand on her shoulder. "Hey" he says, grinning. "Sleep good?"
Korunue jumped a little. "oh, yeah... fine..." she sounds distracted. She blinks a few times to bring herself out of her deep thoughts. To tell, or not? The pressure was becoming unbearable. She frowned. Tell? Don't tell? She needed...she wanted...she should... this was all too much for her.
Ronin tilts his head and studies Korunue, something seemed different about her, something wrong. "What's wrong? You got something on your mind?"
orunue thought, and thought, and thought some more. Finally she spoke. "ye-es... but... well..." she trails off. At least it was a start... but she still had to decide: lie and say it was something else, or tell the truth?
Ronin squeezes Korunue's shoulder a little. "Go on, what is it?" Korunue seemed to be thinking an awful lot lately, maybe he could get something out of her this time.
Korunue sighed. She couldn't lie to him... she couldn't bring herself to do it. She looked away, then down to her lap. "promise you won't be mad..." she whispers, biting her lip nervously.
Ronin grins for a second. "Alright, I promise I wont get mad." he says. What could be so important that would make him mad?
Korunue takes a deep breath. He was clueless... he had no idea of her thoughts... this would be hard. "well... I've been thinking about what...she...said... and... maybe she's right... I mean, if it wern't for me, she would never have come..." please let him get it, she thought to herself. Please don't make me say it out loud.
Ronin has to think for a minute, finally he places who the she was...it must be that youkai/shapeshifter woman. He remembers what happened and frowns. "Bah, don't pay any mind to what she said, she didn't know anything. She just wanted to start trouble is all." And did a good job of it too, he says to himself.
Korunue's mouth twitches into a half smile. "that's just it, though... she caused trouble because of me... I think she'll be back... or if not her, there'll be others... because of me... but if I wasn't here... they'd go away..." she says, the words hard to say. She waits for the rebuke she knows is coming. Why? Why did she tell him?
Ronin frowns at Korunue and shakes his head. "It's not your fault. Someone like her is no better than a human. It could have well been me she was after." He needs to comfort her, otherwise she might try suicide again.
Korunue looks away. "yeah... even if it was you, it wouldn't hurt if it wasn't about me... if I was gone... maybe, jut maybe, my death would hurt less than people like her comeing back again and agian, for the rest of our lives..." she says this softly, knowing how he'll respond... needing, craing the comfort anyway.
Ronin blinks at Korunue. "Your death?" he thought he told her that dying wouldn't solve anything. "I love you Kor, and all your death would do is hurt me, so don't think about it again." he gives her a hug, holding her close and trying to comfort her.
Korunue lets the tears she has been holding back flow, as she hugs him back. "I know... I can't help but think it, though..." she whispers in his ear. "and I don't know why..." she gulps hard, wondering if he'll be mad...
Ronin holds Korunue close. "It's ok, just calm down. Stop worrying about things so much." he whispers back into her ear.
Korunue sniffles a little. "i can't... it's my nature to worry... especially about you... I love you too much not to worry about you..." she whispered, sniffling, trying to stop crying altogether.
Ronin grins at Korunue and gives Korunue a quick kiss. "It would help if you tried to cut back on your worrying. Besides, I'll be fine, I always am." he says, grinning wide.
Korunue manages a weak smile, though she still feels miserable. She sniffs once more, looking out the window. Why had that seemed so hard to her? Why had she not wanted to tell him? All this worry over nothing. It seemed... not right. Something was wrong with her. But... what? Ronin doesnt say anything more, he just sits on the bed, hugging Korunue tightly. Korunue sits there in silence for a bit, thinking. Finally, she dares voice her silent thoughts. "what... what's wrong with me? Why am I thinking like this?" she asks meekly. She is more confused then ever: nothing is making sense anymore.
Ronin shakes his head at Korunue. "There is nothign wrong with you. You're making yourself think like that." he sighs and places his hand on her head, scratching her ears slowly.
Korunue sighs. "but why?" she protests, sounding like a small child wanting to know why they had to go to bed early. "Why on earth would I make myself think like that?" she wonders aloud. "god knows I don't WANT to... die..." she has trouble getting the word out. "or do I?" she whispers half under her breath.
Ronin gives Korunue a good squeeze. "I'm sure you don't want to die. And the only reason you think like that is stupid people like that shapeshifter woman do dumb things."
Korunue sighs, a deep, sad sigh. "if only I was that sure... I can't trust myself, Ronin... not when I'm like this." She turns to him, torment obvious in her eyes.
Ronin looks at Korunue's eyes. "Then stop being like this, plain and simple. Stop worrying, or let me do some worrying for a change....like I'm doing now."
Korunue bites her lip. This was going nowhere... and she didn't want him to worry. She looked away, looking down and away from him at an angle. "it's not that easy..." she whispers, not sure why she was telling him this...
Ronin frowns at Korunue and sighs "Well don't worry about me at least, And let me worry about you."
Korunue sighs. "I don't want you to worry about me.. I shouldn't have said anything.." then she senses the irony and laughs, a short burst of suddan laughter which fades all too soon. More surprise than delight...
Ronin sighs again and decides that maybe he should make her laugh some more. He scoots closer and quickly tickles her for a few seconds.Korunue giggles a little, putting her hand on her ribs. She smiles, done brooding for the moment... though her morbid thoughts stay at the back of her mind, threatening to pop up once she lets her guard down...Ronin grins at Korunue and tries to get apst her guard and tickle her again. He is starting to have fun it seems. Korunue giggles more, against her will. She shoves his hand away and narrows her eyes... then leaps forward, in an attempt to tickle him back furiously. "can you take it as well as dish it?" she taunted, mockingly. Ronin laughs and falls over on hsi side. Trying his best to catch ahold of Korunue's wrists and stop her from tickling him.
Korunue yelps as he catches her wrists and wishes she had a tail to tickle him with. She tugs at her wrists, trying to loosen them and tickle him... she yanks them down towards his ribs in an attempt to tickle him anyway, even with her hands so bound. Ronin grins evily at Korunue and tightens his grip a little, slowly moving Korunue's hands away from him. "Oh no, you're not going to get me." he says, laughing. Korunue mock-pouts, then has an idea. She slips off her shoes and lifts a foot to try and tickle him with it, though she can't quite reach... she frowns, then tries tackling him instead.
Ronin rolls over on his back as Korunue tackles him. He tries to maintain hsi grip on her wrists but loses it. Korunue grins, tickling him without mercy. She smirks in victory, her face full of mirth for once. She sits on his stomach as she tickles his ribs. Ronin squirms, laughing. "OK...ok...you win, just...let me breathe, k?" he says all this in between large gasps for air mixed with laughter.
Korunue lets up, falling back onto the bed, laughing herself. She smirks. "ha! Who's the stronger one NOW, hmm? To think: an Ikkiyou beat a hanyou!" she crows, victorious. The sparkle has returned to her eyes, and she looks happy once more.
Ronin looks over at her and grins. He rolls over and almost moves to tickle her, but changes his mind and lays down next to her. "Aye, you got me." he says, smiling, and still gasping for breath. Korunue smiles, staring up at the ceiling happily. But... she wasn't doing anything, and she despratly hunted for something to think about to keep her good mood. She keeps smiling, thinking about tickle fights... then, quite suddanly, reaches up and takes the pillow from the bed and hits him in the face with it, sticking her tounge out.
Ronin glares at Korunue "Hey!" he says, trying to sound angry, but he can't keep it up and breaks down laughing. Korunue laughs as well, a long, hearty laugh that leaves her short of breath and with tears running down her face. She holds onto the pillow, just in case...Ronin sits up and grabs the other pillow. He holds it like a shield and tries to reach around Korunue to tickle her again. Korunue throws the pillow in his face and squirms away from the tickle, giggling hystericlly. She then realizes her mistake in throwing the pillow and yelps, leaping over to the other bed, hopefully out of range of his pillow-throwing.
Ronin grins at Korunue and clutches both pillows tightly. "You can't get them now." he says, chuckling softly. Korunue sits cross-legged on the other bed and turns up her nose, making a "hmph!" sound, shutting her eyes. She looks like a little kid pretending to be snooty more than a snooty person.Ronin stares at Korunue blankly for a moment then grins and throws a pillow at her.Korunue yelps, ducking the pillow. "mine!" she says, childishly, hugging it to her chest. She twists slightly back and forth while clutching it, like a small child with a doll. There is a teasing look in her eyes.
Ronin laughs at Korunue and throws the other pillow at her. He quickly leaps after it, aiming to tackle her.Korunue ducks the pillow but not the tackle, ending up underneath Ronin. She squeals, and tries to wriggle out from under him, reaching for a pillow and hitting him repeatedly with it as she does so.Ronin grins at Korunue and reaches for her wrists, trying to pin and trap her again. Korunue yelps, yanking her right arm close to her before he can grab it, so that he ends up with her left wrist only. She then proceeds to tickle him to make him let go of that as well, giggling once more.
Ronin tries to resist the urge to laugh, but doesn't fare too well. He starts laughing and rolls off of her, clutching at his ribs. Korunue smirks, victorious once more. She sits up, beaming mischiviously. "ha! I win yet agian!" she cries, tauntingly. "weak humans my butt. I got more human than you, and I beat you twice!"
Ronin looks up at Korunue and grins. "Third times the charm." he says, leaping at her and trying to pin her arms down somehow. Korunue yelps again, rolling backwards hoping to throw him off towards the end of the bed using his own momentem. She laughs as she does so, gasping for breath. Ronin does end up flailing off the end of the bed. So he crawls around the side and tries leaping up and maybe catching Kor at unawares.
Korunue was laughing so hard she didn't see him, and is thus cought by surprise as he leaps back onto her. She tickles like mad in self-defense. Ronin isn't going to let her get away with tickling this time. He struggles and reaches for her wrists again, if only he could just get them. Korunue isn't gonna fall for THAT one again. She snatches her wrists away, wriggling a little, then sneaks back to try and tickle some more. Ronin reaches for her wrists again. He leans down and quickly kisses her to distract her.
Korunue is distracted, definatly. He gets her wrists, and she pouts. "not fair!" she mock-protests, sticking out her lower lip in a mock-pout.
Ronin kisses Korunue again, slower this time. Quickly he pins her arms at her sides. "I win this time." he says with a grin.
Korunue kisses back, blushing. "yup." she says, a tad embarrased. "you sure did..." she doesn't seem to mind, though... she doesn't even seem to mind being pinned.
Ronin smiles at Korunue. "I think I'll just go to sleep right here. And keep your arms pinned in my sleep I might add." he says, yawning and laying his head down.
Korunue wriggles a little. "hey!" she says, pulling her leg up in an effort to kick his bum with it. She sticks her tounge out. "oh no you don't!"
Ronin looks up at Korunue and grins. "Well, where would you have me go to sleep then?" he asks, his voice still playful.
Korunue wriggles some more. "not on top of me, for sure. Lay off the chocolate, tubby." she mocks, her tone and her eyes teasing, showing she means no insult.
Ronin grins at her. "How about beside you?" He lets her arms go and crawls off of her. Scooting up close to her, he gives her another kiss.
Korunue smiles. "this works." she says, as soon as he stops kissing her long enough for her to talk. She then gives him a kiss of her own. "yeah.. this works." she repeats, content.
Ronin smiles at Korunue "This is pretty comfortable, why don't we do this more often anyways?" he asks before kissing her again.
Korunue smiles, kissing him back. "dunno... maybe you were sick or something?" she asks, teasingly. "nah, that can't be... you NEVER get sick, you big strong hanyou you." she kids, a sparkle in her eyes.
Ronin laughs at Korunue "Aye, I dont try to anyways." He yawns and kisses her again. "I don't feel like moving, ever again."
Korunue snuggles next to him. "sounds good." she says, smiling. She punches him lightly in the ribs. "that's still a dirty trick, though.. I can't defend while being kissed!" She snuggles down, getting comfortable.
Ronin grins at Korunue and stiffles a yawn. "It worked though." he says, a sleepy smile on his face. He wraps his arms around Korunue and pulls her close before drifting off to sleep.
Korunue revels in the comfort. "that it did." she murmers, before falling asleep herself. She is happy, for once... and to think, hours before she had been planning to end it all! Her last thought before succumbing to a healing sleep is of the irony of it all, and the truth of the saying: it's always darkest before dawn.
That sounds like a good place to stop. REVIEW!