*===*===*===*===*
Stigmatize - 1. To characterize as disgraceful; brand. 2. To mark with stigma
-------- Stigma - 1. A mark or token of infamy or disgrace.
While this describes Yami Bakura, the title is also mocking the authoress. It is my feel at this story so far if it represented me. Lots of love, eh? Go look up infamy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.
COMMENTS & THANKS:
ALLENBY: Sorry I didn't update so fast. I've been preoccupied.
SHADOW HAWK: I don't like the blondes either. That was truly their last chapter. Yay!
AURORA BELMONT VAMPIRE HUNTER: Yami Bakura is a good actor. I think it's a requirement at Evil Yami Taking Over The World School.
YAMI KRISSY: I delete fics now. ……………… Everyone seems to feel sorry for the rats.
NONAME: The shrimp is the point of a cocktail? I wonder why Ryou needs a moat. I guess he's taken the phrase "My home is my castle" a bit too literally.
ELLE-FATE2X1: I am saving a bit on disks, but I tend to lose those or forget to label them. I'm deleting this chapter as soon as it's up.
RENNE THE RABID SQUIRREL: I do not have a program with passwords. Ma could probably pass through it though since she is a computer genius. I have made it a note not to leave my computer at other people's though. She looks through everything when I go places, like school. Errr….
TOKYOGAL89: I don't know why I made Ryou kill rats. I guess I was angry.
HIKARICHERRYWOLF: No! Kawaii-Chibi-Yami-Bakura! [imagine that adorning a postcard home]
ASHURI CHAN: Yes, mom is bothersome there. I'm glad you like the chapter.
ESCURO DE LA LUS: I guess this chapter might qualify as confusing twist. I don't know. I'll let readers decide.
KAEHIMI: I'm glad you didn't shoot yourself. Then you couldn't read more! ………….. My mom actually knows a lot about computers too. She can bring up deleted files. I'm trying to inconspicuously get her to show me how. ……………. Will you look at that, I updated. ………………… I was reorganizing my faves and one of you're stories is in there. I'm like "Hey, that name is vaguely familiar" and decided I should look at it. I had to log off though. I don't know what half the fics in my faves are about, so I'm going to look through that… when I have time. *glares at calculus exam*
A.K.A. TALENTLESS: I forgot to thank you for you're chapter seven review on "Plans." Don't worry, I thanked you in chapter nine nice and long and rambled a bit. ………. Whee! That means you read more than one of my fics! Yay!
THE-DARK-ONE: I like plots very much. I do not write hentai at all anymore. My old Mediaminor account has been forsaken. I forgot the penname anyway. ……………. You know what is sad? This chapter was supposed to be nice and limey [Lemon would be rated R, this is PG13] but that dream died under the delete button. So I cut that out. Awe! I'm planning a new fic after this though… a lime Malik/Ryou ^_~…………… I think you're going to find this chapter humorous because Ryou goes a bit insane on his Yami. But it's also kind of sad. ………………… I you want to read another fic of mine and have nothing to strong against Seto/Ryou; you ought to read "Plans". It reached over 100 reviews one chapter before Stiggy. I like it. I can't believe *I* wrote the thing. It's long and funny and depressing all at once. Reviewers seem to like it. There's a lobster too and Yami no Bakura driving people insane.
DRAGGY: I don't know why I killed those rats. I guess I was frustrated. It's either I kill the rats or scream at the wall. Seeing as affronting to an inanimate barrier tends to freak some people out, I killed rats in a fanfic.
ONLYHAUNTED: I like the killing too, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it
JIMBINY LUPIN-WOOD: No, you're going to sent my history teacher over! Is two hours not enough to suffer her horrible treatment? How could you? *runs off screaming*
MARMALADEGIRL: Yes, this story is very bad with grammar. People are use to it now, though, so if I publish something perfectly done, they will die or something. It's almost done anyway.
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK: Finally, I updated! Yay!
SILVERWULF: Well-rounded critiques are considerably more interesting than "Update soon!" I guess. …………. Yay, another person who has me in a favorite area! That makes around thirty or twenty-nine; I have to check. That's cool. I haven't even been on FF.net for a year yet either. ……………… Read your bio. You like most of my favorite musical groups. Cool. How do you feel about Elvis Costello, Roy Orbison, and James Taylor? Some of my faves are more seventies actually [Led Zeppelin!], but still good. I was just happy at the Oasis and Duran Duran listing.
R AMYTHEST: Yes, I know the 2.45, but for practical application I round usually round things. Drives my mom crazy, she's one of those logical, computer genius, math expert, left-handed peoples. She doesn't see how the right-handed mind works and I don't understand her either. There's a mutual confusion there we live around the best we can. ……………. No, I am not Chinese. I'm actually a Polish/Irish/Various European Others who knows too many Pacific Islanders and Orientals for sure sanity. My mom actually likes country music more than anything. And what does my "chicken scratch" terminology have to do with anything? I'm curious.
NADAKO-MIKA: Yes, even though it gets cliché, mortal/spirit switches are still pretty interesting.
YOKOMON52: Yes, it was terrible [the deleting], but I'm recovering nicely. When school ends I will be much better.
Whee, we get to hit ALL the clichés this chapter! What fun! Remember to thank Fuel (that rock group from Australia, got album as present) for motivating me to write this chapter with "Bad Day" on their CD playing the repeat for two hours. This chapter has nothing to do with the song though.
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Stigmatize
Chapter 17: Just Stop Asking!
"Well, that's a nice group of mortals. Rather shallow, but all the more easy to fool. Don't you agree?" the Fiend laughed as him and Ryou walked out of hearing of the group.
"I wouldn't know, I was to busy throwing up from disgust." Ryou snapped, annoyed.
"Watch it, child. I can't kill you, but I could still contrive a sufficient means to torture you by."
"Oh, I'll try not to tempt you then," Ryou replied as they continued down the street. He kicked roughly at a wastebasket. Several trash items fell due to this.
"Dear, dear, polluting now?" the Spirit scowled mockingly, "What happened to Save the Environment Boy?"
"He's dead," Ryou informed the spirit, kicking a can across the sidewalk, watching it smack stupidly into a tree, and stopping. It was almost like a bird crashing into a windshield or a window. Humorous.
"Really? When did he die?" the Yami asked.
"When I stopped caring," Ryou grumbled in frustration, "When I stopped caring about everything."
"That's a lie," the Fiend stated.
Ryou didn't respond. He stared at the cement as far away the sun set in all its glory of clichés. Tomorrow he would be on a series of plane trips to Romania. Oh joy!
"You've always care, fool," the Fiend continued, "You care how others feel, which is an admittedly odd trait. And you say things are good when they obviously can never be, that I'm right when I know I am wrong and all those ridiculous things. It's pathetic."
"Are you saying I'm some kind of retard, Yami?"
"No, just kind stupid," Ryou raised an eyebrow at this, "In an interesting way. You are, I should say, horribly ignorant. I hurt you and you respect me? Personally, I'd hate me or anyone being dominant. You succeed in the vice versa, strangely enough. I find you think the craziest things for a person in your fallible position."
Ryou nodded at this, "I do believe I am alone."
"Yes, which is weird because I'm standing right here-do you ever wake up from the melodramatic?" the Spirit asked.
"No," Ryou answered grimly.
"Oh, to Ra! Where is that velvet curtain that follows you? Time to pull the cloth down and prepare for acts three: Yami Bakura goes to Romania. Better brush up on your lines, I hear it's a death scene."
Ryou uncharacteristically furrowed his brow at this, "Yami goes to Romania. Strange, I swear I saw Hikari there."
"Don't do your eyebrows like that, child. It isn't you," the spirit noted.
"Ehem, Yami goes to Romania?" Ryou repeated.
"Oh yes, I'm packing up and leaving, not you. Since you seem to enjoy your oh-so-very-precious-aloneness, I suppose my leaving won't affect that much, eh? It's not like I can stand you anyway, so peculiar and my opposite in apparently everything. Domino is getting very boring. I need change."
"But Romania? Yami, do you have any idea how far away that is?" Ryou asked, surprised.
"Yes, I'm not a fool like you," the Fiend replied.
"Yami," Ryou sighed, looking at him desperately, "Do you even care about me?"
"Most certainly not," the spirit replied, brushing the boy aside and walking forward roughly.
Ryou look at the ground for nothing else he wanted to see than were he wished he were. Six feet down and forgotten.
"Why?" he asked quietly.
The Ring Spirit turned around and looked at him. He quickly surveyed the boy, shrugging, "You're pathetic. Can you ever stand up to anyone for once?"
"I can't, Bakura. I can't do anything to you. I want you to see me, not hate me." Ryou informed him, near tears.
"Oh, I understand," the Spirit nodded, "So you are fine complaining about what you see wrong with me, hoping your desperation will make me conform. But, when I'm letting you take a look at things on my side it's a 'so sorry I can't change because I want you to instead, Yami'. Well, I wish you were different too, child."
Ryou blinked at this in surprise. The Fiend continued,
"I cannot stand your idiotic kindness. You are weak and I used to want to change that every second I saw you. I do not want love. I wished to see hate and strength, not worship and mindlessness!" the Spirit snapped, glaring still.
"So why Romania?" Ryou asked, his voice hardly audible.
The Spirit shrugged again angrily. He glared at the swiftly darkening sky.
"All you've ever done is beg and hope. I need a change because I cannot fix your unbreakable belief of goodness in pretty much everything. I need to get as far away from this failure as is physically possible. I dislike you now because you have proven I cannot always be correct. Everyone knows to hate me but you. I don't understand any of it, so I'm leaving."
"Yami, you can't just run away from a problem." Ryou admonished the spirit lightly.
"Oh, I can and I am. That's what you did, isn't it? Your problem was me, so as soon as you spurted you opinions, you made tracks to avoid me," the spirit spat back, causing Ryou to stop complaining.
For a bit the two simply stared at each other. Suddenly, Ryou smirked and very nearly broke out into laughter.
"What's so funny, Mortal?" the Fiend snapped.
Ryou chuckled again before answering.
"You. Me. The both of us. We've spread a fantastic web of reality from our opinions and beliefs and now the two of us are quite stuck. I am the neglected wanting love and this makes you uncomfortable. You'd only just love to see hate and broken dejection from me. We are quite the opposite, aren't we? What a pair we make!"
"Have you been drinking water again, Hikari? That isn't funny."
"No, you're right," Ryou agreed before grinning insanely, "It's hilarious! Neither of us will get our way till the other changes completely, assimilates to what the never wanted to be. We may never reach a compromise because I'm terrified to act opposing and you're too stubborn to think of love and all those other little components," Ryou sang almost enthusiastically. As far as his Yami knew, the boy had gone insane.
Oh wait, he already was.
"What where you doing while I was talking to those blondes?" the Spirit asked in annoyance.
Ryou couldn't answer. He didn't know what he was doing now. Letting out another daft expression, he continued to ramble.
"Why did you talk to them though, Spirit? Was it that-"
Ryou was cut off as Yami Bakura grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. The boy feared the very worst.
"Yami, I-"
Ryou froze as the warm lips pressed his own colder pair. His dark held tightly, making Ryou want to call out in pain at the two strong clamps holding him, bruising most likely. The grip lightened slightly as the Spirit's tongue entered the boy's mouth. Soon Ryou found the hands were actually just holding him up as his pathetic knees had given up any effort to stand. He waited for it to end and the Fiend to drop him. It was getting so confusing, but kissing had to be a good sign.
"You're crazy," the Yami muttered after breaking away. Ryou just stared at him, speechless as the Spirit scowled slightly, admonishing his hikari's vivid insanity,
"You don't know anything, fool."
Ryou stayed silent. He wanted very much to kiss his dark again. He wanted it badly. But, he couldn't do anything. He wasn't the one in charge.
"I'm going to leave tomorrow and you can't change my mind, child. No matter how mental you act. I don't want to be here any longer than necessary."
Ryou opening his mouth to go against this, but the words where all turned into weak choking with only a semblance of meaning. He couldn't say anything.
"Come on," the Spirit ordered, walking away again in the direction of the house. Ryou obeyed silently. He didn't speak till they were inside and his dark was unpacking the large suitcase on the floor. Apparently Ryou's style didn't fit his Yami's taste.
"Yami?"
The spirit grunted in acknowledgement. Ryou hesitated for a few seconds before asking the question that was bothering him, had been bothering him for weeks, months, and a pretty much year or more actually (once he thought about it, that is).
"Do you love me?"
The Spirit remained impassive, folding a pair of socks calmly.
"I think I already answered that one."
Ryou shook his head, "No, that was if you cared. I just want to know if you love me even a little bit."
The spirit seemed still to not care till Ryou saw he had folded the exact same pair of socks threes times. This was interesting.
"Yes," the fiend admitted, "But not as a person. I love the fact you're the reason I'm here right now."
Ryou sighed at this sadly. He should have known better than to be hopeful at his Yami's first yes.
"Are you sure you don't love me any further?" Ryou asked with no coherent reason in his mind why.
"Ryou," the fiend snapped getting up and facing his light, "Why do you mind?"
"I-"
"Just stop asking!" The Fiend ordered, "I've let you run your questions and now you're repeating yourself. You've obviously run out of ideas."
Ryou blinked at him, suffering the speechlessness that settled when his Yami was upset. He watched the Spirit walk angrily to the exit.
"I'm done with this," the Yami muttered, exiting. Ryou stared at the door as it almost closed lightly. He could see the hall where his dark was leaving, turning, and finally out of sight.
Ryou didn't bother to close the door the rest of the way. Silently he just watched it from the other side of the room as he crawled into bed. The boy was tired but knew for a fact he wouldn't sleep. He simply could not.
*===*===*===*===* (AN: Oh, how I wanted to end there, but I'm nice since I haven't updated two weeks in a row.)
Ryou was lying in bed facing the wall when his Yami returned. He listened without moving as the Spirit finished packing the suitcase with almost silent stealth. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall intently as the Fiend lay next to him on top of the covers. Ryou didn't turn to look at his company, but his distant glaze over the wall softened.
The Spirit didn't say anything as he reached out and held Ryou against him. The boy flinched slightly, still absorbed in his wall watching. He felt his darks newly warm body against him and wanted to think he was loved and needed. He knew in his mind this wasn't so. His heart was of a different opinion, but then, hearts were a hearts, messes of feelings and painful emotions without eyes to see their folly or brains to comprehend what was the logical thing to do. All these together made a relaxing unity, but Ryou had never been "all together" ever. No one else had or ever would be either.
"You're confusing me," he informed the other holding him quietly, making sure not to ask another question.
"That's good," the voice answered behind him..
Ryou wanted to tell him it wasn't good, in fact, it was bad, very bad, but there was nothing he could say. He could just lie there and do nothing, not fix anything that was broken or breaking inside. He didn't know what to do.
"Yami…" he started, wondering faintly if the Spirit was actually asleep.
"Yes?"
No sleeping, the Yami was awake. Still awake and waiting to leave in the morning. Ryou finished his statement before he lost his nerve.
"I don't want you to go."
"I have to," the Spirit informed him sternly, "And I will."
Ryou felt like crying at this remark. He wanted to ask his Yami all the questions again. Why did he have to go? Why didn't he care? What made him so difficult all the time? Did he love his hikari?
"I love you anyway," Ryou stated for the record.
"I know," the Yami sighed. Ryou couldn't tell if it was from sorrow, annoyance, or both. He looked briefly at the arms around him before continuing the wall ogling, waiting for the Spirit to go to sleep or something.
Ryou still knew he couldn't sleep. He couldn't if he even wanted to. It was impossible.
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AN: Whee, nice stopping place, hm? I made it longer. My birthday present [for my birthday??] to all of you so I can spread the joy of being a year older to everyone!
All my reviewers get leftover birthday cake! Yum! (My birthday was actually the twelfth on June, but it's still good. It's chocolate!) No drinks though, the party was during the school week and they would have disappeared anyway. Maybe you want some soda pop instead?
Had to stay with my little brothers Saturday. They have so many Yu-Gi-Oh episodes on tape. It's frightening.
Well, in a good way.
They think Seto's gay, but I didn't tell them that. We where just watching YuGiOh and my brothers said it looked like Seto and Yami where "together" as well as the Dark and Light masks. "Umbra don't leave me here" REALLY clenched it for those two Ghouls as a pair.
Oh, and one more thing they came up with: When Anzu was asking Seto what he had at the end of the day they made me collapse [they have watched the tap way too often]. Here's what they came up with for an alternative script. Another birthday favor because I thought it was funny, so cut me some slack here.
{Anzu: [blah, blah, blah] …What do you have at the end of the day, Seto Kaiba?
Seto: I have Bakura. [my brothers use the dubbed names]
*Insert sound of me collapsing in laughter and typing more chapters*
Ryou: *high, shocked, effeminate voice* It was suppose to be a secret!
Seto: Uh, I mean, I have enough. I have enough.
Ryou: *injured* So, I'm just "enough"? You bitch!
Honda: *falls to his knees in anguish* No! Why are ALL the good ones taken?
Everyone else: -_-U
Anzu: Uh, guys….}
They also thought it looked like Honda was grabbing Bakura's a-ehem (got to stop the profanity) during the Duel outside the castle and I quite agree. I can't believe my two brothers came up with this. They are saints around my mother and father. It was hilarious. It's good to know they are human and/or I'm not some kind of freak. Yay!
I have to delete this as soon as it's update so people don't find it, even if it is on a floppy. Ma would kill over what I just did to Ryou. She knows how to find deleted files though. She some technological genius. You can't find delete files on floppies though. You delete stuff, save over it, and it's gone.
Long AN. I have lots to say apparently after two weeks gone.
Stigmatize - 1. To characterize as disgraceful; brand. 2. To mark with stigma
-------- Stigma - 1. A mark or token of infamy or disgrace.
While this describes Yami Bakura, the title is also mocking the authoress. It is my feel at this story so far if it represented me. Lots of love, eh? Go look up infamy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.
COMMENTS & THANKS:
ALLENBY: Sorry I didn't update so fast. I've been preoccupied.
SHADOW HAWK: I don't like the blondes either. That was truly their last chapter. Yay!
AURORA BELMONT VAMPIRE HUNTER: Yami Bakura is a good actor. I think it's a requirement at Evil Yami Taking Over The World School.
YAMI KRISSY: I delete fics now. ……………… Everyone seems to feel sorry for the rats.
NONAME: The shrimp is the point of a cocktail? I wonder why Ryou needs a moat. I guess he's taken the phrase "My home is my castle" a bit too literally.
ELLE-FATE2X1: I am saving a bit on disks, but I tend to lose those or forget to label them. I'm deleting this chapter as soon as it's up.
RENNE THE RABID SQUIRREL: I do not have a program with passwords. Ma could probably pass through it though since she is a computer genius. I have made it a note not to leave my computer at other people's though. She looks through everything when I go places, like school. Errr….
TOKYOGAL89: I don't know why I made Ryou kill rats. I guess I was angry.
HIKARICHERRYWOLF: No! Kawaii-Chibi-Yami-Bakura! [imagine that adorning a postcard home]
ASHURI CHAN: Yes, mom is bothersome there. I'm glad you like the chapter.
ESCURO DE LA LUS: I guess this chapter might qualify as confusing twist. I don't know. I'll let readers decide.
KAEHIMI: I'm glad you didn't shoot yourself. Then you couldn't read more! ………….. My mom actually knows a lot about computers too. She can bring up deleted files. I'm trying to inconspicuously get her to show me how. ……………. Will you look at that, I updated. ………………… I was reorganizing my faves and one of you're stories is in there. I'm like "Hey, that name is vaguely familiar" and decided I should look at it. I had to log off though. I don't know what half the fics in my faves are about, so I'm going to look through that… when I have time. *glares at calculus exam*
A.K.A. TALENTLESS: I forgot to thank you for you're chapter seven review on "Plans." Don't worry, I thanked you in chapter nine nice and long and rambled a bit. ………. Whee! That means you read more than one of my fics! Yay!
THE-DARK-ONE: I like plots very much. I do not write hentai at all anymore. My old Mediaminor account has been forsaken. I forgot the penname anyway. ……………. You know what is sad? This chapter was supposed to be nice and limey [Lemon would be rated R, this is PG13] but that dream died under the delete button. So I cut that out. Awe! I'm planning a new fic after this though… a lime Malik/Ryou ^_~…………… I think you're going to find this chapter humorous because Ryou goes a bit insane on his Yami. But it's also kind of sad. ………………… I you want to read another fic of mine and have nothing to strong against Seto/Ryou; you ought to read "Plans". It reached over 100 reviews one chapter before Stiggy. I like it. I can't believe *I* wrote the thing. It's long and funny and depressing all at once. Reviewers seem to like it. There's a lobster too and Yami no Bakura driving people insane.
DRAGGY: I don't know why I killed those rats. I guess I was frustrated. It's either I kill the rats or scream at the wall. Seeing as affronting to an inanimate barrier tends to freak some people out, I killed rats in a fanfic.
ONLYHAUNTED: I like the killing too, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it
JIMBINY LUPIN-WOOD: No, you're going to sent my history teacher over! Is two hours not enough to suffer her horrible treatment? How could you? *runs off screaming*
MARMALADEGIRL: Yes, this story is very bad with grammar. People are use to it now, though, so if I publish something perfectly done, they will die or something. It's almost done anyway.
KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK: Finally, I updated! Yay!
SILVERWULF: Well-rounded critiques are considerably more interesting than "Update soon!" I guess. …………. Yay, another person who has me in a favorite area! That makes around thirty or twenty-nine; I have to check. That's cool. I haven't even been on FF.net for a year yet either. ……………… Read your bio. You like most of my favorite musical groups. Cool. How do you feel about Elvis Costello, Roy Orbison, and James Taylor? Some of my faves are more seventies actually [Led Zeppelin!], but still good. I was just happy at the Oasis and Duran Duran listing.
R AMYTHEST: Yes, I know the 2.45, but for practical application I round usually round things. Drives my mom crazy, she's one of those logical, computer genius, math expert, left-handed peoples. She doesn't see how the right-handed mind works and I don't understand her either. There's a mutual confusion there we live around the best we can. ……………. No, I am not Chinese. I'm actually a Polish/Irish/Various European Others who knows too many Pacific Islanders and Orientals for sure sanity. My mom actually likes country music more than anything. And what does my "chicken scratch" terminology have to do with anything? I'm curious.
NADAKO-MIKA: Yes, even though it gets cliché, mortal/spirit switches are still pretty interesting.
YOKOMON52: Yes, it was terrible [the deleting], but I'm recovering nicely. When school ends I will be much better.
Whee, we get to hit ALL the clichés this chapter! What fun! Remember to thank Fuel (that rock group from Australia, got album as present) for motivating me to write this chapter with "Bad Day" on their CD playing the repeat for two hours. This chapter has nothing to do with the song though.
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Stigmatize
Chapter 17: Just Stop Asking!
"Well, that's a nice group of mortals. Rather shallow, but all the more easy to fool. Don't you agree?" the Fiend laughed as him and Ryou walked out of hearing of the group.
"I wouldn't know, I was to busy throwing up from disgust." Ryou snapped, annoyed.
"Watch it, child. I can't kill you, but I could still contrive a sufficient means to torture you by."
"Oh, I'll try not to tempt you then," Ryou replied as they continued down the street. He kicked roughly at a wastebasket. Several trash items fell due to this.
"Dear, dear, polluting now?" the Spirit scowled mockingly, "What happened to Save the Environment Boy?"
"He's dead," Ryou informed the spirit, kicking a can across the sidewalk, watching it smack stupidly into a tree, and stopping. It was almost like a bird crashing into a windshield or a window. Humorous.
"Really? When did he die?" the Yami asked.
"When I stopped caring," Ryou grumbled in frustration, "When I stopped caring about everything."
"That's a lie," the Fiend stated.
Ryou didn't respond. He stared at the cement as far away the sun set in all its glory of clichés. Tomorrow he would be on a series of plane trips to Romania. Oh joy!
"You've always care, fool," the Fiend continued, "You care how others feel, which is an admittedly odd trait. And you say things are good when they obviously can never be, that I'm right when I know I am wrong and all those ridiculous things. It's pathetic."
"Are you saying I'm some kind of retard, Yami?"
"No, just kind stupid," Ryou raised an eyebrow at this, "In an interesting way. You are, I should say, horribly ignorant. I hurt you and you respect me? Personally, I'd hate me or anyone being dominant. You succeed in the vice versa, strangely enough. I find you think the craziest things for a person in your fallible position."
Ryou nodded at this, "I do believe I am alone."
"Yes, which is weird because I'm standing right here-do you ever wake up from the melodramatic?" the Spirit asked.
"No," Ryou answered grimly.
"Oh, to Ra! Where is that velvet curtain that follows you? Time to pull the cloth down and prepare for acts three: Yami Bakura goes to Romania. Better brush up on your lines, I hear it's a death scene."
Ryou uncharacteristically furrowed his brow at this, "Yami goes to Romania. Strange, I swear I saw Hikari there."
"Don't do your eyebrows like that, child. It isn't you," the spirit noted.
"Ehem, Yami goes to Romania?" Ryou repeated.
"Oh yes, I'm packing up and leaving, not you. Since you seem to enjoy your oh-so-very-precious-aloneness, I suppose my leaving won't affect that much, eh? It's not like I can stand you anyway, so peculiar and my opposite in apparently everything. Domino is getting very boring. I need change."
"But Romania? Yami, do you have any idea how far away that is?" Ryou asked, surprised.
"Yes, I'm not a fool like you," the Fiend replied.
"Yami," Ryou sighed, looking at him desperately, "Do you even care about me?"
"Most certainly not," the spirit replied, brushing the boy aside and walking forward roughly.
Ryou look at the ground for nothing else he wanted to see than were he wished he were. Six feet down and forgotten.
"Why?" he asked quietly.
The Ring Spirit turned around and looked at him. He quickly surveyed the boy, shrugging, "You're pathetic. Can you ever stand up to anyone for once?"
"I can't, Bakura. I can't do anything to you. I want you to see me, not hate me." Ryou informed him, near tears.
"Oh, I understand," the Spirit nodded, "So you are fine complaining about what you see wrong with me, hoping your desperation will make me conform. But, when I'm letting you take a look at things on my side it's a 'so sorry I can't change because I want you to instead, Yami'. Well, I wish you were different too, child."
Ryou blinked at this in surprise. The Fiend continued,
"I cannot stand your idiotic kindness. You are weak and I used to want to change that every second I saw you. I do not want love. I wished to see hate and strength, not worship and mindlessness!" the Spirit snapped, glaring still.
"So why Romania?" Ryou asked, his voice hardly audible.
The Spirit shrugged again angrily. He glared at the swiftly darkening sky.
"All you've ever done is beg and hope. I need a change because I cannot fix your unbreakable belief of goodness in pretty much everything. I need to get as far away from this failure as is physically possible. I dislike you now because you have proven I cannot always be correct. Everyone knows to hate me but you. I don't understand any of it, so I'm leaving."
"Yami, you can't just run away from a problem." Ryou admonished the spirit lightly.
"Oh, I can and I am. That's what you did, isn't it? Your problem was me, so as soon as you spurted you opinions, you made tracks to avoid me," the spirit spat back, causing Ryou to stop complaining.
For a bit the two simply stared at each other. Suddenly, Ryou smirked and very nearly broke out into laughter.
"What's so funny, Mortal?" the Fiend snapped.
Ryou chuckled again before answering.
"You. Me. The both of us. We've spread a fantastic web of reality from our opinions and beliefs and now the two of us are quite stuck. I am the neglected wanting love and this makes you uncomfortable. You'd only just love to see hate and broken dejection from me. We are quite the opposite, aren't we? What a pair we make!"
"Have you been drinking water again, Hikari? That isn't funny."
"No, you're right," Ryou agreed before grinning insanely, "It's hilarious! Neither of us will get our way till the other changes completely, assimilates to what the never wanted to be. We may never reach a compromise because I'm terrified to act opposing and you're too stubborn to think of love and all those other little components," Ryou sang almost enthusiastically. As far as his Yami knew, the boy had gone insane.
Oh wait, he already was.
"What where you doing while I was talking to those blondes?" the Spirit asked in annoyance.
Ryou couldn't answer. He didn't know what he was doing now. Letting out another daft expression, he continued to ramble.
"Why did you talk to them though, Spirit? Was it that-"
Ryou was cut off as Yami Bakura grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. The boy feared the very worst.
"Yami, I-"
Ryou froze as the warm lips pressed his own colder pair. His dark held tightly, making Ryou want to call out in pain at the two strong clamps holding him, bruising most likely. The grip lightened slightly as the Spirit's tongue entered the boy's mouth. Soon Ryou found the hands were actually just holding him up as his pathetic knees had given up any effort to stand. He waited for it to end and the Fiend to drop him. It was getting so confusing, but kissing had to be a good sign.
"You're crazy," the Yami muttered after breaking away. Ryou just stared at him, speechless as the Spirit scowled slightly, admonishing his hikari's vivid insanity,
"You don't know anything, fool."
Ryou stayed silent. He wanted very much to kiss his dark again. He wanted it badly. But, he couldn't do anything. He wasn't the one in charge.
"I'm going to leave tomorrow and you can't change my mind, child. No matter how mental you act. I don't want to be here any longer than necessary."
Ryou opening his mouth to go against this, but the words where all turned into weak choking with only a semblance of meaning. He couldn't say anything.
"Come on," the Spirit ordered, walking away again in the direction of the house. Ryou obeyed silently. He didn't speak till they were inside and his dark was unpacking the large suitcase on the floor. Apparently Ryou's style didn't fit his Yami's taste.
"Yami?"
The spirit grunted in acknowledgement. Ryou hesitated for a few seconds before asking the question that was bothering him, had been bothering him for weeks, months, and a pretty much year or more actually (once he thought about it, that is).
"Do you love me?"
The Spirit remained impassive, folding a pair of socks calmly.
"I think I already answered that one."
Ryou shook his head, "No, that was if you cared. I just want to know if you love me even a little bit."
The spirit seemed still to not care till Ryou saw he had folded the exact same pair of socks threes times. This was interesting.
"Yes," the fiend admitted, "But not as a person. I love the fact you're the reason I'm here right now."
Ryou sighed at this sadly. He should have known better than to be hopeful at his Yami's first yes.
"Are you sure you don't love me any further?" Ryou asked with no coherent reason in his mind why.
"Ryou," the fiend snapped getting up and facing his light, "Why do you mind?"
"I-"
"Just stop asking!" The Fiend ordered, "I've let you run your questions and now you're repeating yourself. You've obviously run out of ideas."
Ryou blinked at him, suffering the speechlessness that settled when his Yami was upset. He watched the Spirit walk angrily to the exit.
"I'm done with this," the Yami muttered, exiting. Ryou stared at the door as it almost closed lightly. He could see the hall where his dark was leaving, turning, and finally out of sight.
Ryou didn't bother to close the door the rest of the way. Silently he just watched it from the other side of the room as he crawled into bed. The boy was tired but knew for a fact he wouldn't sleep. He simply could not.
*===*===*===*===* (AN: Oh, how I wanted to end there, but I'm nice since I haven't updated two weeks in a row.)
Ryou was lying in bed facing the wall when his Yami returned. He listened without moving as the Spirit finished packing the suitcase with almost silent stealth. He opened his eyes and stared at the wall intently as the Fiend lay next to him on top of the covers. Ryou didn't turn to look at his company, but his distant glaze over the wall softened.
The Spirit didn't say anything as he reached out and held Ryou against him. The boy flinched slightly, still absorbed in his wall watching. He felt his darks newly warm body against him and wanted to think he was loved and needed. He knew in his mind this wasn't so. His heart was of a different opinion, but then, hearts were a hearts, messes of feelings and painful emotions without eyes to see their folly or brains to comprehend what was the logical thing to do. All these together made a relaxing unity, but Ryou had never been "all together" ever. No one else had or ever would be either.
"You're confusing me," he informed the other holding him quietly, making sure not to ask another question.
"That's good," the voice answered behind him..
Ryou wanted to tell him it wasn't good, in fact, it was bad, very bad, but there was nothing he could say. He could just lie there and do nothing, not fix anything that was broken or breaking inside. He didn't know what to do.
"Yami…" he started, wondering faintly if the Spirit was actually asleep.
"Yes?"
No sleeping, the Yami was awake. Still awake and waiting to leave in the morning. Ryou finished his statement before he lost his nerve.
"I don't want you to go."
"I have to," the Spirit informed him sternly, "And I will."
Ryou felt like crying at this remark. He wanted to ask his Yami all the questions again. Why did he have to go? Why didn't he care? What made him so difficult all the time? Did he love his hikari?
"I love you anyway," Ryou stated for the record.
"I know," the Yami sighed. Ryou couldn't tell if it was from sorrow, annoyance, or both. He looked briefly at the arms around him before continuing the wall ogling, waiting for the Spirit to go to sleep or something.
Ryou still knew he couldn't sleep. He couldn't if he even wanted to. It was impossible.
*===*===*===*===* *===*===*===*===*
AN: Whee, nice stopping place, hm? I made it longer. My birthday present [for my birthday??] to all of you so I can spread the joy of being a year older to everyone!
All my reviewers get leftover birthday cake! Yum! (My birthday was actually the twelfth on June, but it's still good. It's chocolate!) No drinks though, the party was during the school week and they would have disappeared anyway. Maybe you want some soda pop instead?
Had to stay with my little brothers Saturday. They have so many Yu-Gi-Oh episodes on tape. It's frightening.
Well, in a good way.
They think Seto's gay, but I didn't tell them that. We where just watching YuGiOh and my brothers said it looked like Seto and Yami where "together" as well as the Dark and Light masks. "Umbra don't leave me here" REALLY clenched it for those two Ghouls as a pair.
Oh, and one more thing they came up with: When Anzu was asking Seto what he had at the end of the day they made me collapse [they have watched the tap way too often]. Here's what they came up with for an alternative script. Another birthday favor because I thought it was funny, so cut me some slack here.
{Anzu: [blah, blah, blah] …What do you have at the end of the day, Seto Kaiba?
Seto: I have Bakura. [my brothers use the dubbed names]
*Insert sound of me collapsing in laughter and typing more chapters*
Ryou: *high, shocked, effeminate voice* It was suppose to be a secret!
Seto: Uh, I mean, I have enough. I have enough.
Ryou: *injured* So, I'm just "enough"? You bitch!
Honda: *falls to his knees in anguish* No! Why are ALL the good ones taken?
Everyone else: -_-U
Anzu: Uh, guys….}
They also thought it looked like Honda was grabbing Bakura's a-ehem (got to stop the profanity) during the Duel outside the castle and I quite agree. I can't believe my two brothers came up with this. They are saints around my mother and father. It was hilarious. It's good to know they are human and/or I'm not some kind of freak. Yay!
I have to delete this as soon as it's update so people don't find it, even if it is on a floppy. Ma would kill over what I just did to Ryou. She knows how to find deleted files though. She some technological genius. You can't find delete files on floppies though. You delete stuff, save over it, and it's gone.
Long AN. I have lots to say apparently after two weeks gone.