Disclaimer: Two things. One, everything is JK Rowling's. Two, we're sick
people, and we're bored! Don't judge us! We don't take this seriously at
all. It's all in fun. Some of our reviewers beg to differ. But seriously,
if you're in a fun, non-cynical mood, read our story! Dumdledore/Dudley
slash at its best. And keep your eyes peeled for other characters!
Harry told Ron and Hermione everything. Everything except what he had just discovered. Throughout the day the thought of Dumbledore having sex nagged at him. He couldn't take it. He was a respectful man, and it was right to fall in love, but that voice he had heard was oddly familiar.... Harry still needed to tell Albus Dumbledore about the information he had discovered about Draco Malfoy's secret orgy and how the moaning and cries disturbed him more than anything on earth. Except the thought of Dudley and Dumbledore.
"Well," said Hermione, "are you going to tell Dumbledore?"
"Right...Dumbledore...hadn't thought of him," Harry said quietly.
"Go to him now Harry!" said Ron, "your life depends on it!"
"Ok...I will...See you guys later...."
Harry reluctantly walked to the corridor of Dumbledore's office. He knew it well now. He walked up to the statue and gave the appropriate password absentmindedly. The sounds of Dumbledore's moaning resounded in his head. Harry creaked open the door slightly, looking around for signs of old man intercourse.
"Harry!" Dumdledore said, delighted. "Come in, I've been expecting you."
"Oh..yeah...expecting me," Harry said so quietly Dumbledore could barely hear him. Then Harry realized something-despite how grotesque his experience had been the previous night, the situation now was more important. A secret orgy right behind everyone's back! Dumbledore must know!
"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry said urgently. "There's a secret-"
"Yadda yadda yadda," Dumbledore said. "All you ever talk about is something that endangers your life. You need to get out a little more. You know, I could provide some...pleasures that might entertain you.
"What?!?! Listen Dumbledore. I heard you last night. I wanna know what the fuck is going on. Who were you with..I heard this voice that I kn......You sick bastard! You fucked Dudley! You bastard!"
"Calm down, Harry. I'm aware that you know what...occured last night. And it's fine." "What?!?! It's not fi-"
"It's fine." Dumbledore interrupted.
Suddenly, Harry suddenly felt a surge of passion. He wanted to make love to Dumbledore. Now. He knew what was happening. Dumbledore was using legilimency. Mind control. Just like the kind Voldemort used on him. Harry had tried to learn occlumency before, but failed miserably. He tried with all his might, but the overwhelming sensation in his you know what overpowered any strength to fight Dumbledore.
Harry moved towards Dumbledore, suddenly forgetting that he didn't want this. He leaned against him as Dumbledore trailed kisses down his neck. He ran his hand down Dumbledore's back unwillingly and left it resting on his ass.
Harry moved over to a bed that had appeared in the corner of the room and laid down. Suddenly he didn't even know who he was. Everything was blank, suddenly he wasn't Harry Potter. Dumbledore starting to unrobe himself, and then he leaned over Harry and started to unbutton the back of his robes playfully running his fingers up and down his back.
"Wait," Dumbledore said, "This isn't right."
"Am I doing something wrong?" Harry said.
"No. It's not that. It's just..I've been fooled. Something is wrong..." A blank expression fell over Dumbledore's face. For a second, Harry shared this expression. He too realized how wrong it was. He started running as fast as he could. Dumbledore then shook off his blank stare and returned to controlling Harry's mind. With the powers of legilimency Harry reluctantly returned to the bed.
"Now," Harry said softly, "What was it that was wrong?"
"Oh. Uhh..." Dumbledore seemed to be returning to himself. "We need this!"
Dumbledore waved his wand and magically a Chippendale's dancer appeared out of nowhere.
"Yay!" Harry squealed.
The dancer ripped off his leather pants and began giving Harry and Dumbledore a lapdance. Dumbledore put a galleon in the dancer's thong, and then ripped the small piece of underwear off completely. Harry and Dumbledore began stroking the stripper's penis, gently.
"Oh, we need this too," Dumbledore said.
Dudley appeared out of the cage Dumbledore had been keeping him in. He was also wearing a thong, which was immediately ripped off. All four of them ensued in the great orgy of '03.
"Oh, Dumbledore," Harry said between orgasms, "I forgot to tell you. Malfoy and the other Slytherins are having meetings. They plot killing me and then have massive orgies."
"Duh, like I wasn't a part of it? You're such a whiny kid, of course I'm plotting to kill you. And while I'm at it, why not have some fun?"
"Right....well, let's have some fun!"
Suddenly, Malfoy and all the Slytherins came out of a door (might it have been a closet door? Pretty much everyone in this story has done that). They ripped of their robes and joined the orgy. Dudley moaned and said, out of breath, "Welcome!"
"Thanks," said Crabbe, "You're sexy."
Dudley moaned some more.
"Ron and Hermione should do this, their ship is implied enough for it to happen," Harry thought to himself.
He gasped.
Ron and Hermione! His friends! This wasn't right at all! He needed to do something!
Harry tried with all his might to ban Dumbledore from his mind. Everything in his head raced as he focused on Dumbledore. With great difficulty, he succeeded.
Dumbledore stopped having anal sex with the stripper whose named he discovered to have been Todd.
"Dammit! You know occlumency, you dickwad!" Dumbledore exclaimed.
"Yeah, asswipe! And I want some fucking answers, biotch!"
"Right," said Dumbledore.
"Sit down Harry, it is time I told you. Something I should have told you five years ago...."
Finito! Chapter 3 coming soon.
Harry told Ron and Hermione everything. Everything except what he had just discovered. Throughout the day the thought of Dumbledore having sex nagged at him. He couldn't take it. He was a respectful man, and it was right to fall in love, but that voice he had heard was oddly familiar.... Harry still needed to tell Albus Dumbledore about the information he had discovered about Draco Malfoy's secret orgy and how the moaning and cries disturbed him more than anything on earth. Except the thought of Dudley and Dumbledore.
"Well," said Hermione, "are you going to tell Dumbledore?"
"Right...Dumbledore...hadn't thought of him," Harry said quietly.
"Go to him now Harry!" said Ron, "your life depends on it!"
"Ok...I will...See you guys later...."
Harry reluctantly walked to the corridor of Dumbledore's office. He knew it well now. He walked up to the statue and gave the appropriate password absentmindedly. The sounds of Dumbledore's moaning resounded in his head. Harry creaked open the door slightly, looking around for signs of old man intercourse.
"Harry!" Dumdledore said, delighted. "Come in, I've been expecting you."
"Oh..yeah...expecting me," Harry said so quietly Dumbledore could barely hear him. Then Harry realized something-despite how grotesque his experience had been the previous night, the situation now was more important. A secret orgy right behind everyone's back! Dumbledore must know!
"Professor Dumbledore!" Harry said urgently. "There's a secret-"
"Yadda yadda yadda," Dumbledore said. "All you ever talk about is something that endangers your life. You need to get out a little more. You know, I could provide some...pleasures that might entertain you.
"What?!?! Listen Dumbledore. I heard you last night. I wanna know what the fuck is going on. Who were you with..I heard this voice that I kn......You sick bastard! You fucked Dudley! You bastard!"
"Calm down, Harry. I'm aware that you know what...occured last night. And it's fine." "What?!?! It's not fi-"
"It's fine." Dumbledore interrupted.
Suddenly, Harry suddenly felt a surge of passion. He wanted to make love to Dumbledore. Now. He knew what was happening. Dumbledore was using legilimency. Mind control. Just like the kind Voldemort used on him. Harry had tried to learn occlumency before, but failed miserably. He tried with all his might, but the overwhelming sensation in his you know what overpowered any strength to fight Dumbledore.
Harry moved towards Dumbledore, suddenly forgetting that he didn't want this. He leaned against him as Dumbledore trailed kisses down his neck. He ran his hand down Dumbledore's back unwillingly and left it resting on his ass.
Harry moved over to a bed that had appeared in the corner of the room and laid down. Suddenly he didn't even know who he was. Everything was blank, suddenly he wasn't Harry Potter. Dumbledore starting to unrobe himself, and then he leaned over Harry and started to unbutton the back of his robes playfully running his fingers up and down his back.
"Wait," Dumbledore said, "This isn't right."
"Am I doing something wrong?" Harry said.
"No. It's not that. It's just..I've been fooled. Something is wrong..." A blank expression fell over Dumbledore's face. For a second, Harry shared this expression. He too realized how wrong it was. He started running as fast as he could. Dumbledore then shook off his blank stare and returned to controlling Harry's mind. With the powers of legilimency Harry reluctantly returned to the bed.
"Now," Harry said softly, "What was it that was wrong?"
"Oh. Uhh..." Dumbledore seemed to be returning to himself. "We need this!"
Dumbledore waved his wand and magically a Chippendale's dancer appeared out of nowhere.
"Yay!" Harry squealed.
The dancer ripped off his leather pants and began giving Harry and Dumbledore a lapdance. Dumbledore put a galleon in the dancer's thong, and then ripped the small piece of underwear off completely. Harry and Dumbledore began stroking the stripper's penis, gently.
"Oh, we need this too," Dumbledore said.
Dudley appeared out of the cage Dumbledore had been keeping him in. He was also wearing a thong, which was immediately ripped off. All four of them ensued in the great orgy of '03.
"Oh, Dumbledore," Harry said between orgasms, "I forgot to tell you. Malfoy and the other Slytherins are having meetings. They plot killing me and then have massive orgies."
"Duh, like I wasn't a part of it? You're such a whiny kid, of course I'm plotting to kill you. And while I'm at it, why not have some fun?"
"Right....well, let's have some fun!"
Suddenly, Malfoy and all the Slytherins came out of a door (might it have been a closet door? Pretty much everyone in this story has done that). They ripped of their robes and joined the orgy. Dudley moaned and said, out of breath, "Welcome!"
"Thanks," said Crabbe, "You're sexy."
Dudley moaned some more.
"Ron and Hermione should do this, their ship is implied enough for it to happen," Harry thought to himself.
He gasped.
Ron and Hermione! His friends! This wasn't right at all! He needed to do something!
Harry tried with all his might to ban Dumbledore from his mind. Everything in his head raced as he focused on Dumbledore. With great difficulty, he succeeded.
Dumbledore stopped having anal sex with the stripper whose named he discovered to have been Todd.
"Dammit! You know occlumency, you dickwad!" Dumbledore exclaimed.
"Yeah, asswipe! And I want some fucking answers, biotch!"
"Right," said Dumbledore.
"Sit down Harry, it is time I told you. Something I should have told you five years ago...."
Finito! Chapter 3 coming soon.