Dib…Potter?
Disclaimer: ::yawn:: yadda yadda yadda I don't own Invader Zim, now you can't sue me. YAY all done!
Chapter 2: The Keeper of Doom
A/n: yay second chapter! And on a Starbucks high again, unfortunately it won't last long because I have to go to work. Oh well at least I get MONEY! Yay moneys! I hope you all enjoyed the doomness of chapter 1, now prepare for chapter two! Mwahahahahhaaha! And everyone be sure to get your very own copy of the Order of Phoenix that comes out June 21st!!
SORRY I haven't updated in like forever, just have had a MAJOR writer's block/lack of motivation. And to the reviewer who said Dib's last name isn't Membrane, yes, I knew that. It's just easier to call him that, as I explained in another fic of mine: False Hope. Yay for more shameless advertising! And I wasn't planning on bringing Zim into Hogwarts but after nothing to do at work the other day I had inspiration! Woot for inspiration! And now on with the fic of doom!
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And waited, and waited, and waited some more. He smiled as his favorite television show: Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries came on at 8:00 and grabbed his notebook criticizing the obvious costumes or trick of the light.
"That was even more obvious than last week!" Dib complained out loud, even though no one was in the room but him.
With a heavy sigh he glanced at the door then at his watch, 8:30 it read. He glanced down at the letter longing to know what was inside it as it rested, unopened, on his lap. He picked it up with his left hand and gazed on it. Turning it over, he noticed an old-fashioned wax seal on with the same shield as was on the front.
"What does that mean?" He asked.
"Probably some cult wanting you to join." Gaz, his terrifying little sister, responded as she carried her Game Slave 2, which she never left out of her sight.
"Huh? A cult…I don't think so Gaz, usually cults aren't this…err…formal."
"Yea?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and one eye open peering at him. "And how do YOU know, have you ever joined a cult?"
"Err no….….but Crop Circle Magazine lets cults advertise. Mmm………yep. There's a Bigfoot cult, a future children of aliens cult………."
"I don't need to know all of that DIB, I'm surprised you don't belong to the Bigfoot cult, seeing how GIGANTIC your head is!"
Ouch, that stung. Everyone knew his head was big, except for Dib, and it was his pet peeve when everyone said that…..I mean, not that his head IS big, of course not!
"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" He yelled at her, clutching the letter in both hands in frustration.
"I said gigantic, not big…." She corrected him.
"Well it's not gigantic!"
She scoffed. "Whatever. So eh, when are you going to open that stupid letter? Must be important if dad wants to see it."
Dib stared at her, he hadn't thought of that, but she was right. Dad never seemed to care if they got something in the mail before. Oh sure he would criticize whenever a new issue of Crop Circles Magazine came out, telling him that he should go into REAL science, and not waste his time with UFOs and other nonsense. He glared remembering the many arguments he had had with his father about his obsession with paranormal science. He tried to explain that paranormal science was a legitimate field of study, but Professor Membrane just wouldn't open his mind enough to believe him. Sighing, he held up the letter anxiously, curiosity now getting to him, he took his hands and was about to open the letter when Gaz yanked it from his grip.
"Hey that's mine! What are you doing? Huh?huh?huh?huh?huh?HUH?"
"Dad told me to watch you and make sure you don't open it until he gets home! He said he'll pre-order a Game Slave 3 for me if you don't get to it!"
Dib narrowed his eyes at her, never before had he felt so much hatred towards his sibling.
"I WANT MY LETTER!"
"And I want my Game Slave 3, see ya, DIB!"
She said as she walked up stairs in a hurry. And with that he jumped over the side of the couch and ran after her. But he was too late; he got there just in time to have Gaz slam her bedroom door hard in his face. Rubbing his nose, which got caught by the door, he then started pounding on the door.
"My letter! Give it back Gaz! I want it, it's mine! Someone obviously wants to contact me!"
"Yea, maybe it's your alien friends!" She taunted him from her room with a snicker.
Dib very well knew the sarcasm. He clenched his fists and kicked her door with anger. To his dismay it had no effect, the door still remained shut with no sign of being opened. He narrowed his eyes at the door and folded his arms, sulking back to the living room. He wanted to make sure that he was waiting for his father when he finally came home.
But his father did not come home until about 1:00 in the morning, not that late for me, but late for::cough:: normal drone-like people such as Professor Membrane. He crawled in the door and smiled at his son, sleeping away on the couch. Picking Dib up in both arms, Professor Membrane carried him to Dib's room and set him on the bed before going off in his own room to call it a well earned night. Saving the world IS very exhausting after all however Professor Membrane didn't know that his son knew that either.
***
Three days later Dib was more frustrated than ever. His dad was obviously avoiding him, since as far as Dib knew, he hadn't been home. The last time when his father wasn't home like this was when he was working on PEG, the magnificent energy source that needed no fuel, however he decided Mankind wasn't ready for such technology, and hell, he was probably right. But Dib didn't care about that now, he just wanted his letter. Err, letters he should say.
In the past three days Dib got what seemed like hundreds of letters. They came from the windows, the fireplace, and even through the cracks of the doors. However, Gaz had managed to keep them all from Dib. The only way she could do this was by tying him up on a chair, which she placed in front of the TV so he'd be distracted. She had done this two days ago when the letters really started to come in by the truckload. Because of this, Dib did not notice the tons of Owls around his house. Dib glared at his sister with the most threatening glare he could muster, which only made her laugh since it was rather pathetic to her. "For the last time let me go Gaz! You can't kidnap your own brother!" "Dad didn't seem to mind when he came home last night, and I'll get my Game Slave 3. And besides, you're not my real brother." Dib glared at her, he hated it when she used that statement. So what if he was adopted? Did she have to remind him every day? She reached over for some duct tape. "This is crazy this is –" But he was cut off in mid-sentence by the gag of duct tape Gaz was now applying to him. She cut off the tape from the roll and threw it aside. "There" She said after a bit, ignoring the muffled screams of protest from Dib. "Sorry but you were getting annoying." She said with false sympathy. "I want my letters!" Dib yelled through the tape though it was muffled and came out as "I asdn vy wevvers" Gaz rolled her eyes knowing what he was saying. She plopped on her couch playing her Game Slave 2 dreaming about her Game Slave 3. That night Professor Membrane came home early since it was Sunday. He smiled at his kids, although Dib was asleep, still tied down and gagged. Professor frowned at Gaz. "Did he, err, read any?" He asked Gaz worried. She simply shook her head. "No, but I had to tie him down so that he wouldn't." "Good thinking," He said nodding. "I'll have to call him out of skool all next week so we can keep him like this until his birthday." Gaz's eyes widened. "He gets to miss a week of skool?" She asked him in outrage. "Err, yes. I guess you'll have to as well to keep an eye on him and feed him an such." Gaz grinned. "Excellent." Professor nodded and looked at Dib worried. "I hope he can forgive us." Gaz shrugged not really caring about that. She went to the kitchen to make them all dinner. ***
Three days later it was Dib's birthday. Even Dib had to smile at that through the duct tape that was still plastered to his mouth from the last time he had eaten. He sighed as Gaz came down the stairs and plopped down on the couch that was next to the chair. It was almost midnight, almost Dib's birthday. Their dad was due home any minute, and surely Dib thought, surely he would be allowed to get out on his birthday, at least read his letter. The anxiety was thick in the air at the Membrane household tonight. You could almost taste it, tastes like pork you know, like humans. Yep, humans taste like pork, but that's not important right now………um……..I like cheese……. Just then the door busted open, and both siblings turned their heads to look as Zim and his comic relief sidekick robot, Gir, were standing in their doorway. "Zim! What are you doing here? GET OUT!" Yelled Dib through the duct tape though it was impossible to understand him and it merely sounded like muffled screaming. Zim raised an eyebrow at the sight. There was Gaz as usual playing her Game Slave 2……. But the Dib-stink, what was he doing tied up? In his own house? 'He should be tied up in MY base, not his own!' Thought Zim miserably as he stared at Dib perplexed. "What do you want Zim?" Asked Gaz coldly as sounds of victory came from her game of doom. "Err…right." Started Zim, but was cut off from his robot, who was in his green dog disguise, with an obvious zipper placed on the front. "We came for tuqiotos, you got any?" Inquired the insane robot. Gaz opened an eye at them. "No, now go." "That's not why we came here Gir!" The robot frowned at his master. "Awwwww…but master I is hungry!" He pointed to his mouth in hopes of Zim giving in. "No Gir!" He turned to Gaz and Dib "I came here to see why the Dib-stink wasn't at skool all week! Not that I care about him of course, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't weaseling around in my AMAZING base of DOOM! BWAHAHAHHA"
Both Dib and Gaz rolled their eyes at Zim's boring explanation.
"Go away ZIM before I have to hurt you."
Zim laughed at Gaz's statement. "YOU, a pitiful human, hurt the mighty, most amazing, the bestest Invader Irk has ever seen? HA! I laugh at your feeble attempts at threatening, here I go: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…HAHA…HA…Ha…Haha…" Zim's laughter trailed off and got lost somewhere in the Membrane household.
Gaz growled and clenched her fists. Dib hadn't seen her this angry since last week when he stole the last piece of pizza and caused her to lose her game because of it. His eyes lit up in anticipation waiting for the well- deserved pounding he knew Zim was bound to receive.
And Dib was right. How much of a pounding did the "bestest" Invader receive. Gaz walked straight up to Zim and with her right fist she ended his evil laughing with a groan of pain. He provided a nice welcome mat for Professor Membrane who had just gotten home from work.
"Good news kids, today's Sunday……..Son, do you know what's so special about Sunday?"
Dib tried to reply with "no skool?" but the tape over his mouth gagged him. The Professor shook his head, still not noticing the moaning Zim underneath him. He took a step towards both Zim and Gaz.
"No post Son, no post! No stupid letters today, nope, it's Sunday!" He let out a triumphant laugh of doom. "NO SILLY LETTERS OF DOOM! This calls for a celebration!"
"Bloaty's?" Asked Gaz hopefully. Professor just laughed and shook his head.
"Sorry daughter, no time, but I do have time for SUPER TOAST!"
Zim groaned and finally got up. "Super Toast?"
But professor seemed to either ignore Zim or still not notice him. Just then however, the house began to shake. Dib's eyes widened and he screamed although you could barely here it.
"What madness is THIS?" Cried Zim looking around nervously.
The door banged three times then fell down. Gaz, Zim, and the Professor all jumped back in surprise and horror. For there, stood a giant man about 9 feet tall wearing a large baggy brown coat with many pockets inside it. He had a huge beard and long bushy hair that looked like a lion's mane. Dib's eyes widened as the man came walking towards him. Professor looked horrified, and Zim and Gaz looked stunned. For once, Gaz wasn't playing her Game Slave 2, and Gir wasn't making a sound, he just stood there hugging his toy piggy in fear and looked at the stranger in awe. Not even her precious video game could keep her from witnessing the hopes of her brother being murdered by a complete stranger. Ah sibling love.
"Bloody hell Dib, what have they done to ya?" He asked eyes gazing at Dib's state.
Dib tried to explain, but the gag covered his mouth. The stranger walked towards Dib, but Professor Membrane stood in front of him.
"Excuse me Sir, but you just broke an entry!"
The stranger looked at the door then at the Professor. "Oh, Sorry about that, now let me untie Dib here……"
"You will not! He's my son!"
"Some way of showing it then! Honestly man, you're worse than the Dursley's with Harry Potter you are!"
All of them raised an eyebrow at the stranger when he said that. Who were the Dursley's? Who was this guy anyhow?
"Now look here Sir! You can't just barge into my house and kidnap my son!" Bellowed Professor Membrane angrily.
The stranger just laughed. "Who's kidnapping your son, Professor Membrane? By the looks of it, you are! I'm just going to free the boy and explain to him what you should have told him years ago!"
And with that he forced the Professor on the couch and walked up to Dib. He shook his head and untied the ropes. Dib smiled at the stranger, no longer afraid of him and peeled the duct tape off his mouth.
"YOUCH!" Dib yelled as the tape was off. He raised an eyebrow at the stranger. "Erm, excuse me Sir, but what should my dad have told me?"
"Blimey boy, my name is Rubeus Hagrid, but most people just call me Hagrid. And if you don't mind Professor, I'll tell him what he, and his sister probably, needs to know."
Gaz raised an eyebrow at Hagrid and the Professor glared. "They are my children, I'll tell them!"
Hagrid sighed. "Fine, but I'm warning you Professor, if you stray from the truth……." He opened his umbrella, which Dib just now noticed, and pointed it threateningly at the Professor.
Membrane glared a loathing glare at Hagrid and sighed in defeat. "Fine, Gaz, Dib, sit down…..Hagrid's right, you should've learned the truth years ago, but……I didn't think you needed to know. And Dib, I thought it'd make you more crazy."
Dib glared at him and folded his arms. "I'm not crazy!"
"Right, sure you're not Son. Now then, it began about 13 years ago when I first met your mother Gaz." He smiled, almost in a trance-like state at the mention of his ex-wife. "We met when I was hosting my show. She was the volunteer from the audience and after the show I asked her to dinner. She said yes. She was so smart and beautiful, but hadn't shared the love for the same science I had. No, she was into the weirdo science. But, I kept my mind open then. If it made her happy, that was all I needed. I already had you Dib, for you see the scientific community thought it would be best if I had a son, to carry out my ingenious ideas and share them to the world in case something would happen to me. You weren't born like normal humans were Dib; you were biologically created with my DNA. A little bit like cloning, but more organic, call it advanced cloning if you will. You have my looks, my IQ, and my genes but you're still you. You can still have your own personality, and live how you want. A clone may or may not have it's own personality, but being biologically created as you were, well…..it's just better. Also there was a good chance that with cloning you might have just gotten my looks, and not my intelligence…….which was key. My colleges think you're a failure of an experiment since you are crazy and went to the dark side of science, but I know better Son, I know that one day you will wise up and join us."
The professor took a deep breath for a break in his story. Dib sat there stunned. Him, an experiment? It did make sense. He and his dad almost looked identical, except for his clothing style and age difference. He glanced up at his father waiting him to continue. And so the Professor did.
"Now your mother already had Gaz when I met her. Gaz was only a year old when I met her, but just as gorgeous as her mother. Her mother and I married within a year after I first met her on my show. We lived in the same house, and I considered Gaz as much as my own child as you Dib. And it was only after a few months of our marriage when I learned what your mother truly was: a witch. I was stunned when I found the news, I didn't believe it. She explained to me that the reason she was in America was she was hiding. From a Dark Lord, as some called him. A powerful wizard set on world domination, and who used dark magic to kill innocents who stood in his way. She said she was afraid for her and Gas's life, and fled to America, and then she met me. When I asked her why she was afraid, what he could possibly want from her, she said it was her, and her alone who knew his fate, and the fate of a small boy named Harry Potter."
"See your mother was a very good Seer, erm, one who could foresee the future. She knew what some called "the Lost Prophecy" which that alone said how the Dark Lord would fall. Only two witches could see it, your mother, and Sibyll Trelawney. The Dark Lord only knew that your mother knew. The night before he went to the Potter's house, trying to kill Harry, he came over here…how he came over here so quickly I'll never know. But your mother sensed his presence. She told me that the children and me weren't safe. I was starting to get worried; I was starting to believe her. After a very sad and long goodbye, I quickly packed whatever I could carry and took you kids and moved to a different city. I didn't sleep for three nights until I knew what happened to your mother. It turned out; the Dark Lord had gotten to her. A strange old wizard in crazy robes told me the grim news. He said she was a very brave witch, and her sacrifice would not be lost. He said he tortured her with horrible curses trying to make her talk, but no matter what he did, she would not reveal what she knew. So because of that he murdered her with one curse. He said my family and me were welcomed in the wizard community any time for my wife's brave sacrifice. I screamed at him not willing to accept the news. I told him she was a normal human, that it was impossible to see the future, that she died in an accident….…I denied everything. I even denied her death for a long time. It was only a year after her death I accepted that she was dead. I made up plenty excuses to everyone on why she wasn't there. On business trips, or studying cure for cancer in Africa……. Oh yes, I made up some crazy stories on her absence. But soon I couldn't take it, I had to accept it. But I wouldn't accept that she was a witch. I dedicated my entire life to real science, trying to prove magic and every shred of paranormal science didn't exist to prove she was normal! That's why I was so disappointed when you took a liking to it Dib, I didn't want you to find out. Your name isn't Membrane, but I call ourselves Membrane's because that's the name your mother took when she was in hiding. That's also why I'm never home, to prove that real science is the only true science, and the rest are just theories of insane people. And I host my own show, I let audience ask questions, and if it has to deal with the paranormal I quickly find away against it. I don't want people believing I don't want them to know the horrible truth about magic. I wanted to prove to my colleagues that they were wrong, that you weren't a failure. I claimed that you are crazy so they wouldn't know the truth. The truth Dib, is more often than not more dangerous than the unknown. Remember that son, remember that."
Disclaimer: ::yawn:: yadda yadda yadda I don't own Invader Zim, now you can't sue me. YAY all done!
Chapter 2: The Keeper of Doom
A/n: yay second chapter! And on a Starbucks high again, unfortunately it won't last long because I have to go to work. Oh well at least I get MONEY! Yay moneys! I hope you all enjoyed the doomness of chapter 1, now prepare for chapter two! Mwahahahahhaaha! And everyone be sure to get your very own copy of the Order of Phoenix that comes out June 21st!!
SORRY I haven't updated in like forever, just have had a MAJOR writer's block/lack of motivation. And to the reviewer who said Dib's last name isn't Membrane, yes, I knew that. It's just easier to call him that, as I explained in another fic of mine: False Hope. Yay for more shameless advertising! And I wasn't planning on bringing Zim into Hogwarts but after nothing to do at work the other day I had inspiration! Woot for inspiration! And now on with the fic of doom!
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And waited, and waited, and waited some more. He smiled as his favorite television show: Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mysteries came on at 8:00 and grabbed his notebook criticizing the obvious costumes or trick of the light.
"That was even more obvious than last week!" Dib complained out loud, even though no one was in the room but him.
With a heavy sigh he glanced at the door then at his watch, 8:30 it read. He glanced down at the letter longing to know what was inside it as it rested, unopened, on his lap. He picked it up with his left hand and gazed on it. Turning it over, he noticed an old-fashioned wax seal on with the same shield as was on the front.
"What does that mean?" He asked.
"Probably some cult wanting you to join." Gaz, his terrifying little sister, responded as she carried her Game Slave 2, which she never left out of her sight.
"Huh? A cult…I don't think so Gaz, usually cults aren't this…err…formal."
"Yea?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and one eye open peering at him. "And how do YOU know, have you ever joined a cult?"
"Err no….….but Crop Circle Magazine lets cults advertise. Mmm………yep. There's a Bigfoot cult, a future children of aliens cult………."
"I don't need to know all of that DIB, I'm surprised you don't belong to the Bigfoot cult, seeing how GIGANTIC your head is!"
Ouch, that stung. Everyone knew his head was big, except for Dib, and it was his pet peeve when everyone said that…..I mean, not that his head IS big, of course not!
"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!" He yelled at her, clutching the letter in both hands in frustration.
"I said gigantic, not big…." She corrected him.
"Well it's not gigantic!"
She scoffed. "Whatever. So eh, when are you going to open that stupid letter? Must be important if dad wants to see it."
Dib stared at her, he hadn't thought of that, but she was right. Dad never seemed to care if they got something in the mail before. Oh sure he would criticize whenever a new issue of Crop Circles Magazine came out, telling him that he should go into REAL science, and not waste his time with UFOs and other nonsense. He glared remembering the many arguments he had had with his father about his obsession with paranormal science. He tried to explain that paranormal science was a legitimate field of study, but Professor Membrane just wouldn't open his mind enough to believe him. Sighing, he held up the letter anxiously, curiosity now getting to him, he took his hands and was about to open the letter when Gaz yanked it from his grip.
"Hey that's mine! What are you doing? Huh?huh?huh?huh?huh?HUH?"
"Dad told me to watch you and make sure you don't open it until he gets home! He said he'll pre-order a Game Slave 3 for me if you don't get to it!"
Dib narrowed his eyes at her, never before had he felt so much hatred towards his sibling.
"I WANT MY LETTER!"
"And I want my Game Slave 3, see ya, DIB!"
She said as she walked up stairs in a hurry. And with that he jumped over the side of the couch and ran after her. But he was too late; he got there just in time to have Gaz slam her bedroom door hard in his face. Rubbing his nose, which got caught by the door, he then started pounding on the door.
"My letter! Give it back Gaz! I want it, it's mine! Someone obviously wants to contact me!"
"Yea, maybe it's your alien friends!" She taunted him from her room with a snicker.
Dib very well knew the sarcasm. He clenched his fists and kicked her door with anger. To his dismay it had no effect, the door still remained shut with no sign of being opened. He narrowed his eyes at the door and folded his arms, sulking back to the living room. He wanted to make sure that he was waiting for his father when he finally came home.
But his father did not come home until about 1:00 in the morning, not that late for me, but late for::cough:: normal drone-like people such as Professor Membrane. He crawled in the door and smiled at his son, sleeping away on the couch. Picking Dib up in both arms, Professor Membrane carried him to Dib's room and set him on the bed before going off in his own room to call it a well earned night. Saving the world IS very exhausting after all however Professor Membrane didn't know that his son knew that either.
***
Three days later Dib was more frustrated than ever. His dad was obviously avoiding him, since as far as Dib knew, he hadn't been home. The last time when his father wasn't home like this was when he was working on PEG, the magnificent energy source that needed no fuel, however he decided Mankind wasn't ready for such technology, and hell, he was probably right. But Dib didn't care about that now, he just wanted his letter. Err, letters he should say.
In the past three days Dib got what seemed like hundreds of letters. They came from the windows, the fireplace, and even through the cracks of the doors. However, Gaz had managed to keep them all from Dib. The only way she could do this was by tying him up on a chair, which she placed in front of the TV so he'd be distracted. She had done this two days ago when the letters really started to come in by the truckload. Because of this, Dib did not notice the tons of Owls around his house. Dib glared at his sister with the most threatening glare he could muster, which only made her laugh since it was rather pathetic to her. "For the last time let me go Gaz! You can't kidnap your own brother!" "Dad didn't seem to mind when he came home last night, and I'll get my Game Slave 3. And besides, you're not my real brother." Dib glared at her, he hated it when she used that statement. So what if he was adopted? Did she have to remind him every day? She reached over for some duct tape. "This is crazy this is –" But he was cut off in mid-sentence by the gag of duct tape Gaz was now applying to him. She cut off the tape from the roll and threw it aside. "There" She said after a bit, ignoring the muffled screams of protest from Dib. "Sorry but you were getting annoying." She said with false sympathy. "I want my letters!" Dib yelled through the tape though it was muffled and came out as "I asdn vy wevvers" Gaz rolled her eyes knowing what he was saying. She plopped on her couch playing her Game Slave 2 dreaming about her Game Slave 3. That night Professor Membrane came home early since it was Sunday. He smiled at his kids, although Dib was asleep, still tied down and gagged. Professor frowned at Gaz. "Did he, err, read any?" He asked Gaz worried. She simply shook her head. "No, but I had to tie him down so that he wouldn't." "Good thinking," He said nodding. "I'll have to call him out of skool all next week so we can keep him like this until his birthday." Gaz's eyes widened. "He gets to miss a week of skool?" She asked him in outrage. "Err, yes. I guess you'll have to as well to keep an eye on him and feed him an such." Gaz grinned. "Excellent." Professor nodded and looked at Dib worried. "I hope he can forgive us." Gaz shrugged not really caring about that. She went to the kitchen to make them all dinner. ***
Three days later it was Dib's birthday. Even Dib had to smile at that through the duct tape that was still plastered to his mouth from the last time he had eaten. He sighed as Gaz came down the stairs and plopped down on the couch that was next to the chair. It was almost midnight, almost Dib's birthday. Their dad was due home any minute, and surely Dib thought, surely he would be allowed to get out on his birthday, at least read his letter. The anxiety was thick in the air at the Membrane household tonight. You could almost taste it, tastes like pork you know, like humans. Yep, humans taste like pork, but that's not important right now………um……..I like cheese……. Just then the door busted open, and both siblings turned their heads to look as Zim and his comic relief sidekick robot, Gir, were standing in their doorway. "Zim! What are you doing here? GET OUT!" Yelled Dib through the duct tape though it was impossible to understand him and it merely sounded like muffled screaming. Zim raised an eyebrow at the sight. There was Gaz as usual playing her Game Slave 2……. But the Dib-stink, what was he doing tied up? In his own house? 'He should be tied up in MY base, not his own!' Thought Zim miserably as he stared at Dib perplexed. "What do you want Zim?" Asked Gaz coldly as sounds of victory came from her game of doom. "Err…right." Started Zim, but was cut off from his robot, who was in his green dog disguise, with an obvious zipper placed on the front. "We came for tuqiotos, you got any?" Inquired the insane robot. Gaz opened an eye at them. "No, now go." "That's not why we came here Gir!" The robot frowned at his master. "Awwwww…but master I is hungry!" He pointed to his mouth in hopes of Zim giving in. "No Gir!" He turned to Gaz and Dib "I came here to see why the Dib-stink wasn't at skool all week! Not that I care about him of course, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't weaseling around in my AMAZING base of DOOM! BWAHAHAHHA"
Both Dib and Gaz rolled their eyes at Zim's boring explanation.
"Go away ZIM before I have to hurt you."
Zim laughed at Gaz's statement. "YOU, a pitiful human, hurt the mighty, most amazing, the bestest Invader Irk has ever seen? HA! I laugh at your feeble attempts at threatening, here I go: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…HAHA…HA…Ha…Haha…" Zim's laughter trailed off and got lost somewhere in the Membrane household.
Gaz growled and clenched her fists. Dib hadn't seen her this angry since last week when he stole the last piece of pizza and caused her to lose her game because of it. His eyes lit up in anticipation waiting for the well- deserved pounding he knew Zim was bound to receive.
And Dib was right. How much of a pounding did the "bestest" Invader receive. Gaz walked straight up to Zim and with her right fist she ended his evil laughing with a groan of pain. He provided a nice welcome mat for Professor Membrane who had just gotten home from work.
"Good news kids, today's Sunday……..Son, do you know what's so special about Sunday?"
Dib tried to reply with "no skool?" but the tape over his mouth gagged him. The Professor shook his head, still not noticing the moaning Zim underneath him. He took a step towards both Zim and Gaz.
"No post Son, no post! No stupid letters today, nope, it's Sunday!" He let out a triumphant laugh of doom. "NO SILLY LETTERS OF DOOM! This calls for a celebration!"
"Bloaty's?" Asked Gaz hopefully. Professor just laughed and shook his head.
"Sorry daughter, no time, but I do have time for SUPER TOAST!"
Zim groaned and finally got up. "Super Toast?"
But professor seemed to either ignore Zim or still not notice him. Just then however, the house began to shake. Dib's eyes widened and he screamed although you could barely here it.
"What madness is THIS?" Cried Zim looking around nervously.
The door banged three times then fell down. Gaz, Zim, and the Professor all jumped back in surprise and horror. For there, stood a giant man about 9 feet tall wearing a large baggy brown coat with many pockets inside it. He had a huge beard and long bushy hair that looked like a lion's mane. Dib's eyes widened as the man came walking towards him. Professor looked horrified, and Zim and Gaz looked stunned. For once, Gaz wasn't playing her Game Slave 2, and Gir wasn't making a sound, he just stood there hugging his toy piggy in fear and looked at the stranger in awe. Not even her precious video game could keep her from witnessing the hopes of her brother being murdered by a complete stranger. Ah sibling love.
"Bloody hell Dib, what have they done to ya?" He asked eyes gazing at Dib's state.
Dib tried to explain, but the gag covered his mouth. The stranger walked towards Dib, but Professor Membrane stood in front of him.
"Excuse me Sir, but you just broke an entry!"
The stranger looked at the door then at the Professor. "Oh, Sorry about that, now let me untie Dib here……"
"You will not! He's my son!"
"Some way of showing it then! Honestly man, you're worse than the Dursley's with Harry Potter you are!"
All of them raised an eyebrow at the stranger when he said that. Who were the Dursley's? Who was this guy anyhow?
"Now look here Sir! You can't just barge into my house and kidnap my son!" Bellowed Professor Membrane angrily.
The stranger just laughed. "Who's kidnapping your son, Professor Membrane? By the looks of it, you are! I'm just going to free the boy and explain to him what you should have told him years ago!"
And with that he forced the Professor on the couch and walked up to Dib. He shook his head and untied the ropes. Dib smiled at the stranger, no longer afraid of him and peeled the duct tape off his mouth.
"YOUCH!" Dib yelled as the tape was off. He raised an eyebrow at the stranger. "Erm, excuse me Sir, but what should my dad have told me?"
"Blimey boy, my name is Rubeus Hagrid, but most people just call me Hagrid. And if you don't mind Professor, I'll tell him what he, and his sister probably, needs to know."
Gaz raised an eyebrow at Hagrid and the Professor glared. "They are my children, I'll tell them!"
Hagrid sighed. "Fine, but I'm warning you Professor, if you stray from the truth……." He opened his umbrella, which Dib just now noticed, and pointed it threateningly at the Professor.
Membrane glared a loathing glare at Hagrid and sighed in defeat. "Fine, Gaz, Dib, sit down…..Hagrid's right, you should've learned the truth years ago, but……I didn't think you needed to know. And Dib, I thought it'd make you more crazy."
Dib glared at him and folded his arms. "I'm not crazy!"
"Right, sure you're not Son. Now then, it began about 13 years ago when I first met your mother Gaz." He smiled, almost in a trance-like state at the mention of his ex-wife. "We met when I was hosting my show. She was the volunteer from the audience and after the show I asked her to dinner. She said yes. She was so smart and beautiful, but hadn't shared the love for the same science I had. No, she was into the weirdo science. But, I kept my mind open then. If it made her happy, that was all I needed. I already had you Dib, for you see the scientific community thought it would be best if I had a son, to carry out my ingenious ideas and share them to the world in case something would happen to me. You weren't born like normal humans were Dib; you were biologically created with my DNA. A little bit like cloning, but more organic, call it advanced cloning if you will. You have my looks, my IQ, and my genes but you're still you. You can still have your own personality, and live how you want. A clone may or may not have it's own personality, but being biologically created as you were, well…..it's just better. Also there was a good chance that with cloning you might have just gotten my looks, and not my intelligence…….which was key. My colleges think you're a failure of an experiment since you are crazy and went to the dark side of science, but I know better Son, I know that one day you will wise up and join us."
The professor took a deep breath for a break in his story. Dib sat there stunned. Him, an experiment? It did make sense. He and his dad almost looked identical, except for his clothing style and age difference. He glanced up at his father waiting him to continue. And so the Professor did.
"Now your mother already had Gaz when I met her. Gaz was only a year old when I met her, but just as gorgeous as her mother. Her mother and I married within a year after I first met her on my show. We lived in the same house, and I considered Gaz as much as my own child as you Dib. And it was only after a few months of our marriage when I learned what your mother truly was: a witch. I was stunned when I found the news, I didn't believe it. She explained to me that the reason she was in America was she was hiding. From a Dark Lord, as some called him. A powerful wizard set on world domination, and who used dark magic to kill innocents who stood in his way. She said she was afraid for her and Gas's life, and fled to America, and then she met me. When I asked her why she was afraid, what he could possibly want from her, she said it was her, and her alone who knew his fate, and the fate of a small boy named Harry Potter."
"See your mother was a very good Seer, erm, one who could foresee the future. She knew what some called "the Lost Prophecy" which that alone said how the Dark Lord would fall. Only two witches could see it, your mother, and Sibyll Trelawney. The Dark Lord only knew that your mother knew. The night before he went to the Potter's house, trying to kill Harry, he came over here…how he came over here so quickly I'll never know. But your mother sensed his presence. She told me that the children and me weren't safe. I was starting to get worried; I was starting to believe her. After a very sad and long goodbye, I quickly packed whatever I could carry and took you kids and moved to a different city. I didn't sleep for three nights until I knew what happened to your mother. It turned out; the Dark Lord had gotten to her. A strange old wizard in crazy robes told me the grim news. He said she was a very brave witch, and her sacrifice would not be lost. He said he tortured her with horrible curses trying to make her talk, but no matter what he did, she would not reveal what she knew. So because of that he murdered her with one curse. He said my family and me were welcomed in the wizard community any time for my wife's brave sacrifice. I screamed at him not willing to accept the news. I told him she was a normal human, that it was impossible to see the future, that she died in an accident….…I denied everything. I even denied her death for a long time. It was only a year after her death I accepted that she was dead. I made up plenty excuses to everyone on why she wasn't there. On business trips, or studying cure for cancer in Africa……. Oh yes, I made up some crazy stories on her absence. But soon I couldn't take it, I had to accept it. But I wouldn't accept that she was a witch. I dedicated my entire life to real science, trying to prove magic and every shred of paranormal science didn't exist to prove she was normal! That's why I was so disappointed when you took a liking to it Dib, I didn't want you to find out. Your name isn't Membrane, but I call ourselves Membrane's because that's the name your mother took when she was in hiding. That's also why I'm never home, to prove that real science is the only true science, and the rest are just theories of insane people. And I host my own show, I let audience ask questions, and if it has to deal with the paranormal I quickly find away against it. I don't want people believing I don't want them to know the horrible truth about magic. I wanted to prove to my colleagues that they were wrong, that you weren't a failure. I claimed that you are crazy so they wouldn't know the truth. The truth Dib, is more often than not more dangerous than the unknown. Remember that son, remember that."