Disclaimer: Gravi isn't mine. Clamp owns Tokyo Babylon. And the Cranberries are the ones that sing 'Linger'.
Wrapped around your finger
By miyamoto yui
/Hmm...Hmm...Hmm
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not that rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything/
Chapter 1 - Won't you catch me?
[Hiro]
Realizing what I had done on impulse, I immediately let go. I was disappointed at myself for losing my nerve.
Shuichi stepped away and smiled uncertainly back at me. His lips curved, but were quivering in confusion. It was the same look he gave me when I told him, "Let's make a band. You and me."
I didn't know if he really understood what I meant.
Or rather, did he avoid it all together?
Then again, this was Shuichi. He was as unpredictable as the weather. I always seemed to wear a raincoat whether or not I needed it for the sudden showers of tears that would ensue whenever he felt like nothing made sense in the world. Even at twenty-years-old, he looked like a little kid who had been left alone in their room.
The more I looked at his cheek, the more my chest burned with anger. Silent anger. The kind that got me into self-contemplation and depression because I always bottled it up inside.
"Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Shuichi?"
Shuichi shook his head while looking at the floor. I couldn't read his face.
He wouldn't let me read it.
"Why would you say that Hiro?" He then reached out to me and I closed my eyes trying to not reach out to his soft hand. The one that I had held in the dark when we got lost one time.
"Tell me why do you have a bruise on your cheek. I asked you first. You answer me first." I sighed in frustration trying not to betray my calmness that was slowly leaving my body and being replaced by something that was more than annoyance.
Silence.
"Now you can't even tell me…" I walked over to the balcony and opened the sliding door to step through the threshold. Taking out a cigarette, I leaned my arms on the railing. "Since when did you start keeping secrets from me?"
I looked up at the gray sky and puffed.
I turned around to find Shuichi holding onto the sliding door and looking at me with a vulnerable expression that I had never seen in his eyes. "Why are you mad at me?" his eyes screamed out to me.
Looking at me, he finally whispered, "It was an accident. I asked him to throw a book from the shelf next to him. He threw the book at me and missed my hands. It was because he had to leave for his flight this evening. I couldn't go because there would be too many people rushing towards me. I did that last time, remember?"
"Then why keep so quiet? It's as simple as that to explain." I puffed again.
"Because you'd get mad at me again." But he blinked at with innocent eyes. They had no idea of the implication that I had proposed to him.
It was true though. I was upset with him last time.
I sighed as I put out the cigarette and took a pinch of the shirt while pulling him close to me. "You baka. Why do you always make me worry?"
Shuichi just stood there not doing anything. I was amazed at our role reversal. Usually he was the one who was showing me affection.
"Why wasn't it you, Hiro?"
I opened my eyes in amazement at such a question. One that I had never expected to be coming from his lips.
At that moment, he lifted up his hands and hit my chest. "Why do you always call me baka?! Why didn't you do anything?!"
"You can't blame me. I let you do what you want to do, Shuichi. Remember that. And even when I tell you not to, if you want to do it, you'll do it."
"I can't do this anymore." He sighed.
"Do what?" I put out the cigarette in an ashtray.
"I don't know."
I tilted my head in confusion. "Shuichi, I think this is one thing you have to explain to me. Don't you understand what you're feeling?
Shuichi clung onto me and pressed his cheek closer to mine. The one with the bruise that he closed his eyes in pain with tears trickling down his face.
"Hey hey…no crying…" I protested as I tried not show him how unhappy he made me whenever he cried. I always wanted to kill someone…the bearer of his unhappiness.
It was also through his cries that I knew his frustration was within himself. He didn't know what to do.
He had matured in two years. As a band member, as a lover, and as a person. But there was a thing to Shuichi that Yuki and I both liked: his innocence.
And how we both wanted to protect it in our own way.
But was that so selfish?
"Let's go out," I said as I patted his head while winking my eye.
Shuichi rubbed the back of his hand on his eyes and stared blankly at me with distant eyes. "Mm. Ii yo."
As I closed the door to my apartment, I turned the key and glanced at him. He was still frowning and I sighed in response to this downward curve of his lips.
I then put my hands on his shoulders. Taking his chin in between my fingers, I nodded as I stared straight into his eyes.
Ones that were about to cry. Again.
Over and over…
I…can't stand for this…
This was the Shuichi I could never touch. Through these eyes, I saw how deep I could not reach no matter what I did.
The love he had given with all of his heart with all the happiness and pain that came with it.
You did choose your fate, Shuichi.
Smiling, I had to keep my face up. "What would you like to do today, Shuichi?"
"I have to go back to the studio for solo recordings."
I nodded. "Ah…"
I had almost forgotten Bad Luck was taking a year off. Why? The need to relax for a bit.
To be normal people even if we couldn't be like truly ordinary people on the street anymore.
"Well, I'll take you out for breakfast then," I said as we started to walk. I put my hands in my pockets as Shuichi looked at the ground still disillusioned.
I knew he was thinking about what I had said. As for him understanding that, I didn't know how he would take it.
But I'd have to let him figure that one for himself.
As we were walking on the street, I poked Shuichi on the forehead.
"Nani?"
I lifted up my chin and grinned. "Let's go to Ueno Park."
"Eh?! We can't do that!"
I laughed as I watched the Shuichi I had known changing from someone who was late for everything to someone who got upset at being late for anything.
"Ah. So, you have no faith in me?" I lifted up an eyebrow.
He nodded. "Of course I do!"
"Then trust me."
Smiling, he shook his head. "Remember the last time you took me there?"
"And you ran to the cherry blossom pile that a child had left behind?"
He started to laugh. "It was so fun though!"
"You were sixteen years old, Shuichi. And you hurt yourself. Badly."
"I want to be a kid again."
I stopped walking as my eyes opened slightly. "W-why would you say something like that? You're always a kid at heart!"
"Really, Hiro?" He then walked faster in front of me.
Unpredictability had set in and my heart began to beat faster and faster. He started to play a game with me on the sidewalk. As I walked up to catch him, he walked faster and faster to get away from me.
"Shuichi…" I started to say, annoyed a bit.
"Come on Hiro!" He called out in front of me with his hands over his mouth to amplify his shouting. With a blink of an eye, I saw him wipe a tear. "Won't you catch me?! Won't you catch me, Hiro?!"
My mouth opened a bit as I ran after him. But he started to run faster and faster away from me. "Shuichi!!!" I shouted from behind. "Don't run so fast or else you'll bump into someone!!"
But he didn't listen to me. He kept on running faster and faster. Shuichi was getting further and further away from me.
You won't beat me so easily.
I ran even faster.
Who do you think you are?
Huff, puff, huff…
Where do you think you are going?
Ache, ache, ache…
You can't leave me…
I reached out my hand to him.
…because I can't seem to leave you.
The darkness I reach for…I loved it from the first time you smiled at me.
Catch.
GRAB.
"You idiot!!!" I screamed in a cold tone that made him shake.
The wind blew as a car zoomed through with no sign of remorse for the person it almost killed.
Shuichi stood there frozen at the street corner with his head down as I grabbed him from behind.
Whoosh, whoosh.
People stared at us, but I didn't care this time. I would be the one that Shuichi would question this time 'round.
"I caught you," I whispered into his ear.
But it was then that the light changed and I let go. I thought he was walking forward, but he turned around and looked at me with hurt eyes.
Angered at why I had stopped him, whether or not what he was doing was intentional.
He then avoided my gaze and looked at something else. He started to run across the street and I saw that he was aiming for some food vendor.
But the light was turning red!!
"SHUICHI!"
At that moment, as a car was approaching, I ran instinctively to him and pushed him with all my strength, unable to grab him and save myself.
In a blink of an eye, I watched the car hit me and I flew a bit until I skidded back onto the cement-paved street.
Click.
I closed my eyes as I felt myself hit the ground, but things were registering in sounds.
Shuichi's scream.
The car driving away…
When I slightly opened my blurry eyes, Shuichi was running towards me. Reaching out to me, he shouted my name, "Hiro!"
Closing my eyes just as quickly, my hand twitched wanting to reach for him and say, "You dummy. Don't get into more trouble."
I could only hear his screaming of my name as whispers…
I felt like I was in a manga I had read a long time ago. It was about a boy who lost his innocence and shattered himself in the process. And it was also about the man that had killed his twin sister in the process of destroying that innocence.
I think I had gone too far by telling him too much about what I felt…
I felt like both of them at the same time. These characters name Subaru and Seishirou…
"I caught you, Shuichi…" I whispered weakly to myself as I slipped into unconsciousness.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: Tasqiah Julianti. You probably thought I forgot about this, didn't you? If there's one thing that anyone knows about me is: I don't forget, whether or not I should. So, thank you for letting me take your fic challenge months later and use it for one of my favorite pairings. 'Sides, I am disappointed that you don't write as many fics as you would like to because I always always ALWAYS enjoyed reading your fanfics. * smiles * I have them all stored in my e-mail for my perusal.
But you guys, I have to tell you again and again thank you for your encouragement!!! And so, I'm going to say here that this fic is going to be just as angsty, but with twists and turns that I hope to develop better, but running in pace with 'Aching Desire'. I'm stuck on AD…
Ii yo – okay; that's good.
Wrapped around your finger
By miyamoto yui
/Hmm...Hmm...Hmm
If you, if you could return
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not that rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart
It's ruining everything/
Chapter 1 - Won't you catch me?
[Hiro]
Realizing what I had done on impulse, I immediately let go. I was disappointed at myself for losing my nerve.
Shuichi stepped away and smiled uncertainly back at me. His lips curved, but were quivering in confusion. It was the same look he gave me when I told him, "Let's make a band. You and me."
I didn't know if he really understood what I meant.
Or rather, did he avoid it all together?
Then again, this was Shuichi. He was as unpredictable as the weather. I always seemed to wear a raincoat whether or not I needed it for the sudden showers of tears that would ensue whenever he felt like nothing made sense in the world. Even at twenty-years-old, he looked like a little kid who had been left alone in their room.
The more I looked at his cheek, the more my chest burned with anger. Silent anger. The kind that got me into self-contemplation and depression because I always bottled it up inside.
"Do you understand what I'm saying to you, Shuichi?"
Shuichi shook his head while looking at the floor. I couldn't read his face.
He wouldn't let me read it.
"Why would you say that Hiro?" He then reached out to me and I closed my eyes trying to not reach out to his soft hand. The one that I had held in the dark when we got lost one time.
"Tell me why do you have a bruise on your cheek. I asked you first. You answer me first." I sighed in frustration trying not to betray my calmness that was slowly leaving my body and being replaced by something that was more than annoyance.
Silence.
"Now you can't even tell me…" I walked over to the balcony and opened the sliding door to step through the threshold. Taking out a cigarette, I leaned my arms on the railing. "Since when did you start keeping secrets from me?"
I looked up at the gray sky and puffed.
I turned around to find Shuichi holding onto the sliding door and looking at me with a vulnerable expression that I had never seen in his eyes. "Why are you mad at me?" his eyes screamed out to me.
Looking at me, he finally whispered, "It was an accident. I asked him to throw a book from the shelf next to him. He threw the book at me and missed my hands. It was because he had to leave for his flight this evening. I couldn't go because there would be too many people rushing towards me. I did that last time, remember?"
"Then why keep so quiet? It's as simple as that to explain." I puffed again.
"Because you'd get mad at me again." But he blinked at with innocent eyes. They had no idea of the implication that I had proposed to him.
It was true though. I was upset with him last time.
I sighed as I put out the cigarette and took a pinch of the shirt while pulling him close to me. "You baka. Why do you always make me worry?"
Shuichi just stood there not doing anything. I was amazed at our role reversal. Usually he was the one who was showing me affection.
"Why wasn't it you, Hiro?"
I opened my eyes in amazement at such a question. One that I had never expected to be coming from his lips.
At that moment, he lifted up his hands and hit my chest. "Why do you always call me baka?! Why didn't you do anything?!"
"You can't blame me. I let you do what you want to do, Shuichi. Remember that. And even when I tell you not to, if you want to do it, you'll do it."
"I can't do this anymore." He sighed.
"Do what?" I put out the cigarette in an ashtray.
"I don't know."
I tilted my head in confusion. "Shuichi, I think this is one thing you have to explain to me. Don't you understand what you're feeling?
Shuichi clung onto me and pressed his cheek closer to mine. The one with the bruise that he closed his eyes in pain with tears trickling down his face.
"Hey hey…no crying…" I protested as I tried not show him how unhappy he made me whenever he cried. I always wanted to kill someone…the bearer of his unhappiness.
It was also through his cries that I knew his frustration was within himself. He didn't know what to do.
He had matured in two years. As a band member, as a lover, and as a person. But there was a thing to Shuichi that Yuki and I both liked: his innocence.
And how we both wanted to protect it in our own way.
But was that so selfish?
"Let's go out," I said as I patted his head while winking my eye.
Shuichi rubbed the back of his hand on his eyes and stared blankly at me with distant eyes. "Mm. Ii yo."
As I closed the door to my apartment, I turned the key and glanced at him. He was still frowning and I sighed in response to this downward curve of his lips.
I then put my hands on his shoulders. Taking his chin in between my fingers, I nodded as I stared straight into his eyes.
Ones that were about to cry. Again.
Over and over…
I…can't stand for this…
This was the Shuichi I could never touch. Through these eyes, I saw how deep I could not reach no matter what I did.
The love he had given with all of his heart with all the happiness and pain that came with it.
You did choose your fate, Shuichi.
Smiling, I had to keep my face up. "What would you like to do today, Shuichi?"
"I have to go back to the studio for solo recordings."
I nodded. "Ah…"
I had almost forgotten Bad Luck was taking a year off. Why? The need to relax for a bit.
To be normal people even if we couldn't be like truly ordinary people on the street anymore.
"Well, I'll take you out for breakfast then," I said as we started to walk. I put my hands in my pockets as Shuichi looked at the ground still disillusioned.
I knew he was thinking about what I had said. As for him understanding that, I didn't know how he would take it.
But I'd have to let him figure that one for himself.
As we were walking on the street, I poked Shuichi on the forehead.
"Nani?"
I lifted up my chin and grinned. "Let's go to Ueno Park."
"Eh?! We can't do that!"
I laughed as I watched the Shuichi I had known changing from someone who was late for everything to someone who got upset at being late for anything.
"Ah. So, you have no faith in me?" I lifted up an eyebrow.
He nodded. "Of course I do!"
"Then trust me."
Smiling, he shook his head. "Remember the last time you took me there?"
"And you ran to the cherry blossom pile that a child had left behind?"
He started to laugh. "It was so fun though!"
"You were sixteen years old, Shuichi. And you hurt yourself. Badly."
"I want to be a kid again."
I stopped walking as my eyes opened slightly. "W-why would you say something like that? You're always a kid at heart!"
"Really, Hiro?" He then walked faster in front of me.
Unpredictability had set in and my heart began to beat faster and faster. He started to play a game with me on the sidewalk. As I walked up to catch him, he walked faster and faster to get away from me.
"Shuichi…" I started to say, annoyed a bit.
"Come on Hiro!" He called out in front of me with his hands over his mouth to amplify his shouting. With a blink of an eye, I saw him wipe a tear. "Won't you catch me?! Won't you catch me, Hiro?!"
My mouth opened a bit as I ran after him. But he started to run faster and faster away from me. "Shuichi!!!" I shouted from behind. "Don't run so fast or else you'll bump into someone!!"
But he didn't listen to me. He kept on running faster and faster. Shuichi was getting further and further away from me.
You won't beat me so easily.
I ran even faster.
Who do you think you are?
Huff, puff, huff…
Where do you think you are going?
Ache, ache, ache…
You can't leave me…
I reached out my hand to him.
…because I can't seem to leave you.
The darkness I reach for…I loved it from the first time you smiled at me.
Catch.
GRAB.
"You idiot!!!" I screamed in a cold tone that made him shake.
The wind blew as a car zoomed through with no sign of remorse for the person it almost killed.
Shuichi stood there frozen at the street corner with his head down as I grabbed him from behind.
Whoosh, whoosh.
People stared at us, but I didn't care this time. I would be the one that Shuichi would question this time 'round.
"I caught you," I whispered into his ear.
But it was then that the light changed and I let go. I thought he was walking forward, but he turned around and looked at me with hurt eyes.
Angered at why I had stopped him, whether or not what he was doing was intentional.
He then avoided my gaze and looked at something else. He started to run across the street and I saw that he was aiming for some food vendor.
But the light was turning red!!
"SHUICHI!"
At that moment, as a car was approaching, I ran instinctively to him and pushed him with all my strength, unable to grab him and save myself.
In a blink of an eye, I watched the car hit me and I flew a bit until I skidded back onto the cement-paved street.
Click.
I closed my eyes as I felt myself hit the ground, but things were registering in sounds.
Shuichi's scream.
The car driving away…
When I slightly opened my blurry eyes, Shuichi was running towards me. Reaching out to me, he shouted my name, "Hiro!"
Closing my eyes just as quickly, my hand twitched wanting to reach for him and say, "You dummy. Don't get into more trouble."
I could only hear his screaming of my name as whispers…
I felt like I was in a manga I had read a long time ago. It was about a boy who lost his innocence and shattered himself in the process. And it was also about the man that had killed his twin sister in the process of destroying that innocence.
I think I had gone too far by telling him too much about what I felt…
I felt like both of them at the same time. These characters name Subaru and Seishirou…
"I caught you, Shuichi…" I whispered weakly to myself as I slipped into unconsciousness.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's note: Tasqiah Julianti. You probably thought I forgot about this, didn't you? If there's one thing that anyone knows about me is: I don't forget, whether or not I should. So, thank you for letting me take your fic challenge months later and use it for one of my favorite pairings. 'Sides, I am disappointed that you don't write as many fics as you would like to because I always always ALWAYS enjoyed reading your fanfics. * smiles * I have them all stored in my e-mail for my perusal.
But you guys, I have to tell you again and again thank you for your encouragement!!! And so, I'm going to say here that this fic is going to be just as angsty, but with twists and turns that I hope to develop better, but running in pace with 'Aching Desire'. I'm stuck on AD…
Ii yo – okay; that's good.