Chapter 3: Mewtwo's Mansion
*****
Disclaimer: I don't own rights to Luigi's Mansion, Mewtwo, or the words "apparate" or "disapparate."
*****
Mewtwo: I'm in a forest. How? Why? More importantly, where? ::pulls out map:: Where'd this map come from?
sign on map: Property of Master Hand
Mewtwo: Okay, that's weird. One minute I'm insulting Luigi's (lack of) courage, the next minute I'm here, bound to go exploring a nonexistent mansion. ::hovers along path, up to mansion front doors. Opens them::
"Foyer"
Mewtwo: Hello-o, plot element. Show yourself. I'd go through that door in front of me, but it looks like a force field. ::goes upstairs, tries door. It's locked. Tries door at end of balcony, also locked::
Mewtwo: Oh well, maybe the door on the first floor wasn't a force field after all. ::goes downstairs again::
Just then, a ghostly red mist seeps out through the door at the top of the stairs and drops a key.
Mewtwo: Okay, whatever. ::picks up key with mind, unlocks door at top of stairs::
"Parlor"
Gadd: Darn you, ghostie, get in there.
Mewtwo: You strange little footstool of a man, stand back and watch. ::uses Confusion on ghost. Ghost spins like pinwheel::
More grinning Gold Ghosts come out of the walls and surround Mewtwo and Gadd.
Gadd: We better get out of here. ::drags Mewtwo by arm::
"Lab"
Mewtwo: Alright, wee little baldie, what am I doing here?
Gadd: Baldie?! What do you call this? ::points at white flame shaped thing on head::
Mewtwo: Um... lint? Anyway, what am I doing here?
Gadd: Alright, here's the thing. That "mansion" you saw... it sprung up over night. Anyway, during the evening hours, I saw a boy with a blue jacket and red hat go in and not come out. You better go in and look for him. Oh, but first you'd better prepare yourself. ::throws Gaddlight to Mewtwo:: Okay, I know it doesn't LOOK like much, but the ghosties freeze when they see it.
Mewtwo: Whatever. I just need to find my way out of this bad dream.
Gadd: One more thing. Take this Game Boy Horror. It allows us to stay in communique.
"Foyer" (is dark)
::crying sound::
Mewtwo: ::beams flashlight towards sound:: Who's there?
Mew sobbing in corner: Oh, Mewtwo, it's you. It's terrible ::sob:: just TERRIBLE.
Mewtwo: You weren't there the first time I got here. How 'bout you pull yourself together and tell me exactly WHAT is so terrible.
Mew: It's Ash. He's been gone in here for a long time. Too long if you ask me.
Mewtwo: Ash, eh? Tell me why I should give a rat's tail about him.
Mew: He was the one who showed you not all humans treated Pokemon like slaves...?
Mew (in Master Hand's voice): Aw heck, there was nobody you were all that close to. We had to make do.
Mew (in own voice again): Oops... gotta stay in character. ::gets all sobby again:: Please, Mewtwo, you HAVE TO save him. Please?
Mewtwo: Oh alright (then under breath) so you'll shut up.
Mew: ::jumps for joy:: Yay! I knew I could count on you. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: What are you talking about? "Save?" Save what? Apparently, all the saving is up to me.
Mew: I'll take that as a "yes." ::saves game::
The lights turn on. Mewtwo goes up the stairs and into the
"Parlor" (also dark)
Mewtwo: ::tries door on opposite wall, is locked:: Gees, how much security does one house need? ::begins searching in cabinets and bureau. Coins and bills fall out::
Mewtwo: For all the security on their doors, they don't have much security on their valuables. Hey, these candles aren't doing anything, they might as well go out before they're puddles of wax. ::blows out candles with breath::
Portrait above candles: Did you blow out our candles, kitty?
Portrait #2: Dark rooms are dangerous around here.
Portrait #3: The darkness; THEY like the darkness.
Mewtwo: "They" who?
Portrait #4: The spirits, THE SPIRITS!
Portrait #5: If you keep on putting out lights, you'll end up like your red- hatted friend.
Portrait #6: We saw ol' Red-Hat pass by here a while ago.
Portrait #7: Are you ready for the dark?
Portrait #1: May you wander in the darkness... forever!
Mewtwo: I thought you were trying to warn me, but really, all you wanted was to trick me.
Portrait #1: Here they come now.
A Gold Ghost apparates into the room and swoops around Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Okay, now I'm gonna do what I would've done if that senile old fogey hadn't dragged me off. ::conjures Shadow Ball. Ghost pulls Mewtwo's feet out from under him, Shadow Ball cancels::
Gold Ghost: ::jeer::
Mewtwo: We'll see who's laughing. ::shines Gaddlight. Ghost freezes momentarily, then disapparates::
GB Horror: Y' gotta be faster than that, my boy. Stun 'em with the light, then hit 'em with something while they're still reeling.
Mewtwo: I can do that. ::whips around, catches ghost with light, shoots Psybeam from eyes::
The ghost begins to inflate like a Pooka and then pop. (I don't own rights to Pookas or DigDug) After defeating two more ghosts with Shadow Ball, the lights come on. Mewtwo gets a key from a chest that wasn't there before.
Mewtwo: I'm glad I never wished for my OWN game. Following a sequence like this is such a hassle.
"Anteroom" (again, dark. Force field forms over doors)
Mewtwo: Alright, you. Get your undead hides out here this minute and open up these doors.
spectral voice: Why should we? ::raspberry::
Mewtwo: Well, to... give you something to do. The afterlife must be terribly dull.
spectral voice: Well, okay, but you won't get past without a fight. Weeheeheeheehee! ::Gold Ghost appears::
Mewtwo: Hold still... ::shines Gaddlight:: while I use Confusion on you. ::Gold Ghost spins like pinwheel::
Gold Ghost: Hey, you better... ::vomits:: better watch out for my big brother. ::hurc::
Mewtwo: Psh, why? How many hit points does HE have? 11?
Purple Puncher: 20, actually. And I'm faster, too.
Mewtwo: We'll just see about that. ::shines Gaddlight, Purple Puncher disapparates::
Purple Puncher: I'm behind you. ::yanks Mewtwo's tail::
Mewtwo turns around, shines the Gaddlight, and uses Psybeam all at the same time. The Purple Puncher is caught by surprise and is inflated to popping.
different Gold Ghost and different Purple Puncher: Let's see how you deal with two ghosts at once.
Mewtwo: How to deal... Ah, I got it. ::shines light through Gold Ghost onto Purple Puncher, sends off Shadow Ball. Hole is made in middle of both ghosts, but at different heights because Shadow Ball moves like sine curve::
Gold Ghost #2: He's good. ::fades::
The lights return and the doors open. Mewtwo uses telekinesis to flush the drawers and upend the chandelier.
"Wardrobe Room" (from now on, when I name a new room, assume it's dark)
Mewtwo: Alright, what am I looking for here? -.-
Mewtwo: Whatever it is is bound to be in one of these dressers. ::opens dresser on right::
Speedy Spirit (notorious "blue ghosts"): Oh gosh, I'm found. I'm SO getting out of here ::sweatdrop::
Mewtwo: ::shines light on Speedy Spirit, which vanishes and doesn't return:: Whatever, I hope that wasn't something important. ::opens dresser on left, stink to high heaven:: WHOA! What died?
Garbage Can Ghost: That would be me; I died. What you smell is prob'ly garbage. Here, have some. ::chucks banana peel::
Mewtwo: No thanks. ::turns Gaddlight on Garbage Can Ghost and uses Psybeam::
A second Garbage Can Ghost appears and drops a banana peel right in Mewtwo's path, then becomes invisible. Mewtwo slips and falls, causing the Psybeam to break. Garbage Can Ghost #1 breaks away with 12/30 hit points left.
Mewtwo: ::picks self up:: Think you're so smart, eh?
Garbage Can Ghost #2: ::reappears:: Well yeah. I got a P.H.D. in "Eee hee hee," at Boo U.
Mewtwo: ::turns light on Garbage Can Ghost #2, uses Confusion on it so it spins around and looses all its peels:: I got a P.H.D. in E.S.P., and now you'll lose all your H.P.
Garbage Can Ghost #1: Forgot about me? ::swipes mittenlike hand at Mewtwo's back, takes away 12/100 of Mewtwo's hit points. Garbage Can Ghost #2 gets away, has 4 hit points left::
Mewtwo: Oh, you'll get yours, backstabber. ::shines light at both::
Mewtwo: ::hears Garbage Can Ghost behind him, turns around with Gaddlight on, slips on peel:: Where'd you get that?
Garbage Can Ghost #1: I'm not the one you made lose his banana peels. ::throws peel, blows a raspberry, disappears::
Eventually, Mewtwo finishes off Garbage Can Ghost #2 (after losing 12 more hit points), then Garbage Can Ghost #1, but the lights don't come back on yet.
Mewtwo: What gives? Oh well. ::opens middle dresser. Poison mushroom pops out, shrinks Mewtwo:: Oh, I remember these, from Melee. They wear off. So if the last ghost wasn't in the remaining dresser, then where...
Purple Puncher: ::apparates:: Looking for me?
Mewtwo (still small): You again?
Purple Puncher: I don't believe we've met. Maybe you saw a DIFFERENT Purple Puncher, there are millions of us here in this "mansion." Maybe I should give you something to remember me by. ::punch:: ::Mewtwo loses 8 more hit points::
Mewtwo: It doesn't matter HOW many of you there are; you'll all meet the same fate. ::shines Gaddlight, uses Shadow Ball::
Purple Puncher (as he's getting blasted): My fate was to die of a concussion. One too many punches to the head... ::room lights::
Mewtwo: Finally. ::key appears on shelf. Mewtwo moves it down with telekinesis, exits via west door::
"2nd floor balcony"
Mew: Oh, Mewtwo, is that you? How lucky you found me. ::lamp lights::
Mewtwo: Last time I saw you, you were in the foyer. What gives?
Mew: I teleported. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: Duh. Why didn't I think of that? ::tries to teleport::
Mew: Oh um, YOU can't... plot hole.
Mewtwo: What? I should wring your neck. ::tries::
Mew: ::uses Light Screen, Mewtwo sulks:: Wanna know what you CAN do, though? If you look at one of the mirrors here, you'll be taken back to the Foyer.
Mewtwo: How do you know this?
Mew: I just do. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: Yeah sure whatever.
*****
Disclaimer: I don't own rights to Luigi's Mansion, Mewtwo, or the words "apparate" or "disapparate."
*****
Mewtwo: I'm in a forest. How? Why? More importantly, where? ::pulls out map:: Where'd this map come from?
sign on map: Property of Master Hand
Mewtwo: Okay, that's weird. One minute I'm insulting Luigi's (lack of) courage, the next minute I'm here, bound to go exploring a nonexistent mansion. ::hovers along path, up to mansion front doors. Opens them::
"Foyer"
Mewtwo: Hello-o, plot element. Show yourself. I'd go through that door in front of me, but it looks like a force field. ::goes upstairs, tries door. It's locked. Tries door at end of balcony, also locked::
Mewtwo: Oh well, maybe the door on the first floor wasn't a force field after all. ::goes downstairs again::
Just then, a ghostly red mist seeps out through the door at the top of the stairs and drops a key.
Mewtwo: Okay, whatever. ::picks up key with mind, unlocks door at top of stairs::
"Parlor"
Gadd: Darn you, ghostie, get in there.
Mewtwo: You strange little footstool of a man, stand back and watch. ::uses Confusion on ghost. Ghost spins like pinwheel::
More grinning Gold Ghosts come out of the walls and surround Mewtwo and Gadd.
Gadd: We better get out of here. ::drags Mewtwo by arm::
"Lab"
Mewtwo: Alright, wee little baldie, what am I doing here?
Gadd: Baldie?! What do you call this? ::points at white flame shaped thing on head::
Mewtwo: Um... lint? Anyway, what am I doing here?
Gadd: Alright, here's the thing. That "mansion" you saw... it sprung up over night. Anyway, during the evening hours, I saw a boy with a blue jacket and red hat go in and not come out. You better go in and look for him. Oh, but first you'd better prepare yourself. ::throws Gaddlight to Mewtwo:: Okay, I know it doesn't LOOK like much, but the ghosties freeze when they see it.
Mewtwo: Whatever. I just need to find my way out of this bad dream.
Gadd: One more thing. Take this Game Boy Horror. It allows us to stay in communique.
"Foyer" (is dark)
::crying sound::
Mewtwo: ::beams flashlight towards sound:: Who's there?
Mew sobbing in corner: Oh, Mewtwo, it's you. It's terrible ::sob:: just TERRIBLE.
Mewtwo: You weren't there the first time I got here. How 'bout you pull yourself together and tell me exactly WHAT is so terrible.
Mew: It's Ash. He's been gone in here for a long time. Too long if you ask me.
Mewtwo: Ash, eh? Tell me why I should give a rat's tail about him.
Mew: He was the one who showed you not all humans treated Pokemon like slaves...?
Mew (in Master Hand's voice): Aw heck, there was nobody you were all that close to. We had to make do.
Mew (in own voice again): Oops... gotta stay in character. ::gets all sobby again:: Please, Mewtwo, you HAVE TO save him. Please?
Mewtwo: Oh alright (then under breath) so you'll shut up.
Mew: ::jumps for joy:: Yay! I knew I could count on you. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: What are you talking about? "Save?" Save what? Apparently, all the saving is up to me.
Mew: I'll take that as a "yes." ::saves game::
The lights turn on. Mewtwo goes up the stairs and into the
"Parlor" (also dark)
Mewtwo: ::tries door on opposite wall, is locked:: Gees, how much security does one house need? ::begins searching in cabinets and bureau. Coins and bills fall out::
Mewtwo: For all the security on their doors, they don't have much security on their valuables. Hey, these candles aren't doing anything, they might as well go out before they're puddles of wax. ::blows out candles with breath::
Portrait above candles: Did you blow out our candles, kitty?
Portrait #2: Dark rooms are dangerous around here.
Portrait #3: The darkness; THEY like the darkness.
Mewtwo: "They" who?
Portrait #4: The spirits, THE SPIRITS!
Portrait #5: If you keep on putting out lights, you'll end up like your red- hatted friend.
Portrait #6: We saw ol' Red-Hat pass by here a while ago.
Portrait #7: Are you ready for the dark?
Portrait #1: May you wander in the darkness... forever!
Mewtwo: I thought you were trying to warn me, but really, all you wanted was to trick me.
Portrait #1: Here they come now.
A Gold Ghost apparates into the room and swoops around Mewtwo.
Mewtwo: Okay, now I'm gonna do what I would've done if that senile old fogey hadn't dragged me off. ::conjures Shadow Ball. Ghost pulls Mewtwo's feet out from under him, Shadow Ball cancels::
Gold Ghost: ::jeer::
Mewtwo: We'll see who's laughing. ::shines Gaddlight. Ghost freezes momentarily, then disapparates::
GB Horror: Y' gotta be faster than that, my boy. Stun 'em with the light, then hit 'em with something while they're still reeling.
Mewtwo: I can do that. ::whips around, catches ghost with light, shoots Psybeam from eyes::
The ghost begins to inflate like a Pooka and then pop. (I don't own rights to Pookas or DigDug) After defeating two more ghosts with Shadow Ball, the lights come on. Mewtwo gets a key from a chest that wasn't there before.
Mewtwo: I'm glad I never wished for my OWN game. Following a sequence like this is such a hassle.
"Anteroom" (again, dark. Force field forms over doors)
Mewtwo: Alright, you. Get your undead hides out here this minute and open up these doors.
spectral voice: Why should we? ::raspberry::
Mewtwo: Well, to... give you something to do. The afterlife must be terribly dull.
spectral voice: Well, okay, but you won't get past without a fight. Weeheeheeheehee! ::Gold Ghost appears::
Mewtwo: Hold still... ::shines Gaddlight:: while I use Confusion on you. ::Gold Ghost spins like pinwheel::
Gold Ghost: Hey, you better... ::vomits:: better watch out for my big brother. ::hurc::
Mewtwo: Psh, why? How many hit points does HE have? 11?
Purple Puncher: 20, actually. And I'm faster, too.
Mewtwo: We'll just see about that. ::shines Gaddlight, Purple Puncher disapparates::
Purple Puncher: I'm behind you. ::yanks Mewtwo's tail::
Mewtwo turns around, shines the Gaddlight, and uses Psybeam all at the same time. The Purple Puncher is caught by surprise and is inflated to popping.
different Gold Ghost and different Purple Puncher: Let's see how you deal with two ghosts at once.
Mewtwo: How to deal... Ah, I got it. ::shines light through Gold Ghost onto Purple Puncher, sends off Shadow Ball. Hole is made in middle of both ghosts, but at different heights because Shadow Ball moves like sine curve::
Gold Ghost #2: He's good. ::fades::
The lights return and the doors open. Mewtwo uses telekinesis to flush the drawers and upend the chandelier.
"Wardrobe Room" (from now on, when I name a new room, assume it's dark)
Mewtwo: Alright, what am I looking for here? -.-
Mewtwo: Whatever it is is bound to be in one of these dressers. ::opens dresser on right::
Speedy Spirit (notorious "blue ghosts"): Oh gosh, I'm found. I'm SO getting out of here ::sweatdrop::
Mewtwo: ::shines light on Speedy Spirit, which vanishes and doesn't return:: Whatever, I hope that wasn't something important. ::opens dresser on left, stink to high heaven:: WHOA! What died?
Garbage Can Ghost: That would be me; I died. What you smell is prob'ly garbage. Here, have some. ::chucks banana peel::
Mewtwo: No thanks. ::turns Gaddlight on Garbage Can Ghost and uses Psybeam::
A second Garbage Can Ghost appears and drops a banana peel right in Mewtwo's path, then becomes invisible. Mewtwo slips and falls, causing the Psybeam to break. Garbage Can Ghost #1 breaks away with 12/30 hit points left.
Mewtwo: ::picks self up:: Think you're so smart, eh?
Garbage Can Ghost #2: ::reappears:: Well yeah. I got a P.H.D. in "Eee hee hee," at Boo U.
Mewtwo: ::turns light on Garbage Can Ghost #2, uses Confusion on it so it spins around and looses all its peels:: I got a P.H.D. in E.S.P., and now you'll lose all your H.P.
Garbage Can Ghost #1: Forgot about me? ::swipes mittenlike hand at Mewtwo's back, takes away 12/100 of Mewtwo's hit points. Garbage Can Ghost #2 gets away, has 4 hit points left::
Mewtwo: Oh, you'll get yours, backstabber. ::shines light at both::
Mewtwo: ::hears Garbage Can Ghost behind him, turns around with Gaddlight on, slips on peel:: Where'd you get that?
Garbage Can Ghost #1: I'm not the one you made lose his banana peels. ::throws peel, blows a raspberry, disappears::
Eventually, Mewtwo finishes off Garbage Can Ghost #2 (after losing 12 more hit points), then Garbage Can Ghost #1, but the lights don't come back on yet.
Mewtwo: What gives? Oh well. ::opens middle dresser. Poison mushroom pops out, shrinks Mewtwo:: Oh, I remember these, from Melee. They wear off. So if the last ghost wasn't in the remaining dresser, then where...
Purple Puncher: ::apparates:: Looking for me?
Mewtwo (still small): You again?
Purple Puncher: I don't believe we've met. Maybe you saw a DIFFERENT Purple Puncher, there are millions of us here in this "mansion." Maybe I should give you something to remember me by. ::punch:: ::Mewtwo loses 8 more hit points::
Mewtwo: It doesn't matter HOW many of you there are; you'll all meet the same fate. ::shines Gaddlight, uses Shadow Ball::
Purple Puncher (as he's getting blasted): My fate was to die of a concussion. One too many punches to the head... ::room lights::
Mewtwo: Finally. ::key appears on shelf. Mewtwo moves it down with telekinesis, exits via west door::
"2nd floor balcony"
Mew: Oh, Mewtwo, is that you? How lucky you found me. ::lamp lights::
Mewtwo: Last time I saw you, you were in the foyer. What gives?
Mew: I teleported. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: Duh. Why didn't I think of that? ::tries to teleport::
Mew: Oh um, YOU can't... plot hole.
Mewtwo: What? I should wring your neck. ::tries::
Mew: ::uses Light Screen, Mewtwo sulks:: Wanna know what you CAN do, though? If you look at one of the mirrors here, you'll be taken back to the Foyer.
Mewtwo: How do you know this?
Mew: I just do. Would you like me to save up to this point?
Mewtwo: Yeah sure whatever.