Disclaimer: Gravitation isn't mine. The poem and the lyrics for 'without' are mine.
Wrapped around your finger
By miyamoto yui
/I missed you for some time
Don't you understand me?
Because...I can't hide anywhere
Sleepless nights I've spent them alone
Your warmth turned to coldness.
Who are we to each other?
I can live without you, but...
Don't you know?
I can't live with you?/
Chapter 6 - Without
Shuichi then entered the stage within the studio to find it like the famous Yoshiwara. It had the sliding screens with a fan on the ground.
It was like an empty wooden box, pretty much like a smaller size of a Noh stage. He found the cameramen setting up as well as the stage assistants.
The choreographer had just indicated to him, even in sketch form, that he was supposed to perform a dance that crossed between Kabuki and Noh, yet adding the charm that only he could.
Shuichi nodded with a smile and lifted up his hand for the full effect of being feminine. The choreographer began to blush as he cleared his throat.
So, there he was assigned to sit in the middle of that box. The make-up artist right then and there went up to him to put touch-ups to his face as he closed his eyes. Instead of lipstick, the make-up artist took out a brush and dipped it in red pain to softly put it on Shuichi's half-faded lips.
When make-up was done, Shuichi then folded his calves to show his white legs.
Being the way he was, he just let some of the kimono go and fall slightly off his shoulders, almost falling off but not quite. The other people around him, both women and men, blushed at the sexiness emanated by the scene as he kept his head away from the cameras.
Shuichi then touched his index finger to his red lips and turned his head to look at one of the photographers. With half open eyes, he gave a slightly knowing smile as if seducing the fans with his confidence.
The confidence that he had gained when Ryuichi had told him to his ear, "I think you're beautiful, Shuichi."
Then, his idol had stuck his tongue on his Adam's apple and devoured his neck and had made love to him as if he were his and no one else's.
Certainly not Yuki Eiri's at that instant...
The guilt was killing him ever so slowly...
Sakano's glasses almost fell off his face as he watched Shuichi. The boy who had wailed two years ago, "I can't write lyrics! I suck at them!"
"Start!" the director was shouting as soon as the photo shoot session was ending and the filming of the music video was to begin...
For days, there was nothing that Shuichi had done except tape that music video. He tried to distract himself though his thoughts were almost always scattered. He tried to smile at everyone, but whenever he was alone, he looked at the geisha or the young boy that didn't quite like himself anymore.
The days spanned to a week and Shuichi found himself sitting on the couch, tired and lonely. He turned on the television to see the music video he had filmed. Though he had seen it with everyone else, it was different to look at himself from a 'fan at home', persay.
The male announcer energetically shouted, "And here's the debut of the latest video by Bad Luck's lead singer, Shindou Shuichi! The song's name is 'Without'!"
(music video)
Shuichi's head is facing the ground. In a close-up, he then turns with a few loose hairs falling, waiting to touch the ground. His profile faces the camera as his lips parted to sing a soft beat with a guitar for its opening. It was unlike any Bad Luck song, but it had the essence of it written poetically.
His red, red lips whispered,
"When I think of you,
there's nothing else in the world.
But then, you're not there
for me to focus on.
A memory is all I have.
Even if you're standing in front of me.
A memory of how we used to be."
Shuichi's back is facing the camera and his kimono is falling gracefully. When he starts to really sing the song, the camera takes a fleeting glance at each side profile.
It goes to his hands, which show his white legs. He rubs softly and impatiently while waiting for someone to come to his window.
He starts to open his mouth to speak something, but he doesn't anymore. Instead, he sings,
"And when I see,
The masks between you and me.
It's a lonely road
That is just so blind for you and me.
I kept on listening,
To the voice that keeps calling
I kept on searching,
To find that there was no one really there."
A maple leaf falls through the window and he holds it in the palm of his hands. He holds it and it transforms into a Noh mask in which he's holding it on the ears to not defile it.
While looking at the Noh mask, he sings,
"The autumn falls
Like a dewdrop that becomes a tear
My tired body
Doesn't want to walk further anymore
And before I know
The time has broken my heart
In silence
I found myself wearing a mask"
He takes a sideglance and looks at the camera.
"The one where there's a smile
To hide that I'm not a child."
His face is wearing a sad smile that looks as if it could be happy. His lips sing along,
"Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much."
A random child runs to a church and opens the doors to find that a single raven is in the middle.
"The place of sanctuary is vanished
I kept on shouting out."
The raven turns into a man that walks away coldly from Shuichi, who is reaching out to him through his window. "It's you...it's you...it's you..."
"Tomorrow hurts
Holding the same things as today, it seems
And no matter how much I listen carefully."
Shuichi is picking up a glass mirror in his hand.
"I keep on missing
The feeling that used to reside here."
When he looks at his own reflection, he is surprised and drops it.
"In one instant,
Things can change so suddenly."
The glass mirror breaks into a million shards and he is trying his best to put it together. He keeps on looking at the mirror because the dawn will come.
"Like dropping the mask
That I held for so long
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.
The one I used in order to be with you.
For if you knew what I really thought
While dying inside..."
The moon shines on him and his fingers bleed as he keeps on picking up the pieces of glass. "Love me, Love me..."
He picks up the fan in front of him and starts to do a Noh dance. He's very graceful, but then, he stops to find someone has come to the window.
"Like dropping the mask
That I held for so long
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.
In order to be with you...
For if you knew what I really thought
While dying inside...
'Love me-'"
He kneels with the fan to one side. His back is again facing the audience with his kimono falling off. The raven, who is now a man, has returned. He bows his head, but his hand goes on Shuichi's neck and one is pulling seductively on the kimono. His face is finally revealed and it is Sakuma Ryuichi, tilting his head, in sync with Shuichi, as he is about to kiss Shuichi passionately on the neck like a vampire.
"The one where there's a smile
(It was yours from the start.)
To hide that I'm not a child
(Because you treat me like one.)
Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much.
(I live and die each day.)
The place of sanctuary is vanished
(There is nowhere else to go.)
I kept on shouting out,
(For you to finally hear me.)
"It's you, It's you, It's you..."
(You are my sanctuary.
Protect me from myself.)"
In another frame, the wind blows away and there is a raven flying away. Shuichi is looking out of the window with not a fan, but holding a Noh mask in his hands. He puts it on, and there's a close up to his face. Shuichi then pointed downward as a tear fell out of the left eyehole, onto the wooden floor.
He whispers quietly, "Yes...Hitori botchi."
In the last minute, without being planned, Shuichi takes a pin out of his pocket and thrusts into his finger. Blood comes out and as he wipes his tear away, a red drop rolls down the curve of his cheek in a profile shot.
In an even quieter whisper, Shuichi finishes,
"Yes, it's true,
I am alone...
With or without you."
(end of video)
Shuichi then hugged the blue pillow that Yuki had given him as he wanted to sink further and further into the couch. Every time he thought about the end, his stomach would churn.
It wasn't out of artistry. It was reality that played at that moment, and certainly not illusion.
They all thought it was to make the effect more dramatic and were so proud of him.
But he wasn't faking it.
Shuichi buried his face on the pillow trying to smell Yuki's scent as he finally began to understand what Hiro had said to him only a few days ago.
He began to understand the lyrics of the song that Hiro had composed for him...
Why he made this song...
The phone rang, but Shuichi didn't want to hear anything. He ignored it while the television remained on.
On the other side of the line, Yuki was holding the telephone in his hand. He had just watched the music video and was trying to still get a hold of him.
Yuki looked at his lover's face that has been plastered on the television set.
The smile that he had loved seemed to be so off...
Yuki rewound the video and watched it again.
Over and over, he saw the Shuichi that he can't recognize.
Was this the same boy that he had told couldn't make lyrics?
The same one he had met years ago?
He sat on his hotel bed not knowing what to think or say...
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: Don't worry! Hiro will be back very soon. I'm just to figure out the time issues with this fic so that it'll make sense to me so that I can convey that to you. Besides, the structure right now is 2 chapters per character. ^^
As for Shuichi singing, I didn't just want to put a set of words again and tried to simulate a music video. Since it is elusive, you don't know if he's singing to Hiro, Yuki, or Ryuichi. ^^v This was actually a hard chapter to make, but I hope it was okay. ^_^
Wrapped around your finger
By miyamoto yui
/I missed you for some time
Don't you understand me?
Because...I can't hide anywhere
Sleepless nights I've spent them alone
Your warmth turned to coldness.
Who are we to each other?
I can live without you, but...
Don't you know?
I can't live with you?/
Chapter 6 - Without
Shuichi then entered the stage within the studio to find it like the famous Yoshiwara. It had the sliding screens with a fan on the ground.
It was like an empty wooden box, pretty much like a smaller size of a Noh stage. He found the cameramen setting up as well as the stage assistants.
The choreographer had just indicated to him, even in sketch form, that he was supposed to perform a dance that crossed between Kabuki and Noh, yet adding the charm that only he could.
Shuichi nodded with a smile and lifted up his hand for the full effect of being feminine. The choreographer began to blush as he cleared his throat.
So, there he was assigned to sit in the middle of that box. The make-up artist right then and there went up to him to put touch-ups to his face as he closed his eyes. Instead of lipstick, the make-up artist took out a brush and dipped it in red pain to softly put it on Shuichi's half-faded lips.
When make-up was done, Shuichi then folded his calves to show his white legs.
Being the way he was, he just let some of the kimono go and fall slightly off his shoulders, almost falling off but not quite. The other people around him, both women and men, blushed at the sexiness emanated by the scene as he kept his head away from the cameras.
Shuichi then touched his index finger to his red lips and turned his head to look at one of the photographers. With half open eyes, he gave a slightly knowing smile as if seducing the fans with his confidence.
The confidence that he had gained when Ryuichi had told him to his ear, "I think you're beautiful, Shuichi."
Then, his idol had stuck his tongue on his Adam's apple and devoured his neck and had made love to him as if he were his and no one else's.
Certainly not Yuki Eiri's at that instant...
The guilt was killing him ever so slowly...
Sakano's glasses almost fell off his face as he watched Shuichi. The boy who had wailed two years ago, "I can't write lyrics! I suck at them!"
"Start!" the director was shouting as soon as the photo shoot session was ending and the filming of the music video was to begin...
For days, there was nothing that Shuichi had done except tape that music video. He tried to distract himself though his thoughts were almost always scattered. He tried to smile at everyone, but whenever he was alone, he looked at the geisha or the young boy that didn't quite like himself anymore.
The days spanned to a week and Shuichi found himself sitting on the couch, tired and lonely. He turned on the television to see the music video he had filmed. Though he had seen it with everyone else, it was different to look at himself from a 'fan at home', persay.
The male announcer energetically shouted, "And here's the debut of the latest video by Bad Luck's lead singer, Shindou Shuichi! The song's name is 'Without'!"
(music video)
Shuichi's head is facing the ground. In a close-up, he then turns with a few loose hairs falling, waiting to touch the ground. His profile faces the camera as his lips parted to sing a soft beat with a guitar for its opening. It was unlike any Bad Luck song, but it had the essence of it written poetically.
His red, red lips whispered,
"When I think of you,
there's nothing else in the world.
But then, you're not there
for me to focus on.
A memory is all I have.
Even if you're standing in front of me.
A memory of how we used to be."
Shuichi's back is facing the camera and his kimono is falling gracefully. When he starts to really sing the song, the camera takes a fleeting glance at each side profile.
It goes to his hands, which show his white legs. He rubs softly and impatiently while waiting for someone to come to his window.
He starts to open his mouth to speak something, but he doesn't anymore. Instead, he sings,
"And when I see,
The masks between you and me.
It's a lonely road
That is just so blind for you and me.
I kept on listening,
To the voice that keeps calling
I kept on searching,
To find that there was no one really there."
A maple leaf falls through the window and he holds it in the palm of his hands. He holds it and it transforms into a Noh mask in which he's holding it on the ears to not defile it.
While looking at the Noh mask, he sings,
"The autumn falls
Like a dewdrop that becomes a tear
My tired body
Doesn't want to walk further anymore
And before I know
The time has broken my heart
In silence
I found myself wearing a mask"
He takes a sideglance and looks at the camera.
"The one where there's a smile
To hide that I'm not a child."
His face is wearing a sad smile that looks as if it could be happy. His lips sing along,
"Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much."
A random child runs to a church and opens the doors to find that a single raven is in the middle.
"The place of sanctuary is vanished
I kept on shouting out."
The raven turns into a man that walks away coldly from Shuichi, who is reaching out to him through his window. "It's you...it's you...it's you..."
"Tomorrow hurts
Holding the same things as today, it seems
And no matter how much I listen carefully."
Shuichi is picking up a glass mirror in his hand.
"I keep on missing
The feeling that used to reside here."
When he looks at his own reflection, he is surprised and drops it.
"In one instant,
Things can change so suddenly."
The glass mirror breaks into a million shards and he is trying his best to put it together. He keeps on looking at the mirror because the dawn will come.
"Like dropping the mask
That I held for so long
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.
The one I used in order to be with you.
For if you knew what I really thought
While dying inside..."
The moon shines on him and his fingers bleed as he keeps on picking up the pieces of glass. "Love me, Love me..."
He picks up the fan in front of him and starts to do a Noh dance. He's very graceful, but then, he stops to find someone has come to the window.
"Like dropping the mask
That I held for so long
It broke so easily. Like glass, like glass.
In order to be with you...
For if you knew what I really thought
While dying inside...
'Love me-'"
He kneels with the fan to one side. His back is again facing the audience with his kimono falling off. The raven, who is now a man, has returned. He bows his head, but his hand goes on Shuichi's neck and one is pulling seductively on the kimono. His face is finally revealed and it is Sakuma Ryuichi, tilting his head, in sync with Shuichi, as he is about to kiss Shuichi passionately on the neck like a vampire.
"The one where there's a smile
(It was yours from the start.)
To hide that I'm not a child
(Because you treat me like one.)
Every day's difficult. Very much. Very much.
(I live and die each day.)
The place of sanctuary is vanished
(There is nowhere else to go.)
I kept on shouting out,
(For you to finally hear me.)
"It's you, It's you, It's you..."
(You are my sanctuary.
Protect me from myself.)"
In another frame, the wind blows away and there is a raven flying away. Shuichi is looking out of the window with not a fan, but holding a Noh mask in his hands. He puts it on, and there's a close up to his face. Shuichi then pointed downward as a tear fell out of the left eyehole, onto the wooden floor.
He whispers quietly, "Yes...Hitori botchi."
In the last minute, without being planned, Shuichi takes a pin out of his pocket and thrusts into his finger. Blood comes out and as he wipes his tear away, a red drop rolls down the curve of his cheek in a profile shot.
In an even quieter whisper, Shuichi finishes,
"Yes, it's true,
I am alone...
With or without you."
(end of video)
Shuichi then hugged the blue pillow that Yuki had given him as he wanted to sink further and further into the couch. Every time he thought about the end, his stomach would churn.
It wasn't out of artistry. It was reality that played at that moment, and certainly not illusion.
They all thought it was to make the effect more dramatic and were so proud of him.
But he wasn't faking it.
Shuichi buried his face on the pillow trying to smell Yuki's scent as he finally began to understand what Hiro had said to him only a few days ago.
He began to understand the lyrics of the song that Hiro had composed for him...
Why he made this song...
The phone rang, but Shuichi didn't want to hear anything. He ignored it while the television remained on.
On the other side of the line, Yuki was holding the telephone in his hand. He had just watched the music video and was trying to still get a hold of him.
Yuki looked at his lover's face that has been plastered on the television set.
The smile that he had loved seemed to be so off...
Yuki rewound the video and watched it again.
Over and over, he saw the Shuichi that he can't recognize.
Was this the same boy that he had told couldn't make lyrics?
The same one he had met years ago?
He sat on his hotel bed not knowing what to think or say...
Tsuzuku...
--
Author's note: Don't worry! Hiro will be back very soon. I'm just to figure out the time issues with this fic so that it'll make sense to me so that I can convey that to you. Besides, the structure right now is 2 chapters per character. ^^
As for Shuichi singing, I didn't just want to put a set of words again and tried to simulate a music video. Since it is elusive, you don't know if he's singing to Hiro, Yuki, or Ryuichi. ^^v This was actually a hard chapter to make, but I hope it was okay. ^_^