A much younger king was perched high up in a tree, looking particularly sulky at something. That something was that his bride would arrive today, and he certainly didn't feel ready to have one.
Merlin appeared at the foot of the tree.
"Get down here, Wart!" he called up loudly. "I have something very important to tell you."
David swung down some and perched himself on the lowest branch. "Is it about my bride? Tell me, Merlin, is she very pretty?"
"I don't know," Merlin lied.
"Oh, yes, you do!" David persisted. "You know everything. You told me so yourself!" He grinned at his white-haired friend.
"Alright, fine, yes, she's pretty."
"Very pretty?"
"Yes, very pretty."
"Is she beautiful?"
"That's not what I came here to talk to you about, David! Would you hold still for a minute so that I can talk to you?" Merlin angrily banged his staff on the ground, causing it to emit sparks.
David stopped and looked at Merlin. "What's the matter?" he asked. "You're not usually this short with me."
"I have news for you," Merlin answered.
"Is it of my bride? Is she here? Tell me when she'll get here."
"Have some patience, boy! She'll arrive when she arrives!"
"Others can have patience. I'm the King of England. I don't have to," David answered, clearly glad that he was able to use his title for something. The young king had not gotten used to his power, and as he was still quite young, it was no wonder. "Why didn't you ever teach me about love and marriage?"
Merlin sighed. "Don't jumble them together like that. They're two different things. Besides, I did give you a lesson once, but your mind was elsewhere." He sighed again. "I didn't come here to discuss this with you. I came to warn you that I won't be here much longer. Soon enough, a nymph named Nimue, who will steal my powers and lock me in a cave for several centuries, will bewitch me."
"Fiddlesticks. You always threaten me with this Nimue business when you're angry with me. Just turn yourself into a bat when she comes and fly away from her." A grin spread across David's face. "Say, do you remember when you turned me into a hawk when I was young? What a feeling that was, soaring freely through the air. Do it again. Right now."
"What, so you can find Adele's carriage and peek in the window? I wouldn't dare."
"You forget again who I am! Do it this instance or I'll… I'll have your head cut off!" David threatened, less than convincingly.
"You're the one who forgets who you are. You've brought a radiant young princess to Camelot as a peace treaty between nations. They've got a new queen coming to them, a royal marriage, and where is their king? Hanging from trees. Thank heaven History never found out. Praise God that Mallory or Tennyson never knew. Thank heaven your people don't know what you're doing. Now, go back to the castle at once and wait for your bride." Merlin turned and walked off into a shadow, disappearing altogether after a few seconds.
"Oh, sure, go back to the castle and wait for the girl who I've never seen in my life and must marry today. Yes, of course, it makes perfect sense," David scoffed. His face got very serious. "I wonder if my subjects are peering up at the castle in wonderment, pondering what their king is doing before his bridal hour. Well, England, I'll tell you what the king is doing! He's terrified! He's hiding from girl! From his future bride! That's what your king is doing! The same king who fearlessly fought a dragon, and never blinks an eye when he's going into battle, is hiding in a tree from a girl! Are you happy? That's what your king is doing!" He hopped down from the tree and paced around. "He's quaking with fear and anticipation. He's trying to find a place to hide. He wants to vanish from the earth. But, no, he has to be here for when his bride arrives. Go back to the castle, David! No! I won't! I'll stay right here until I see her carriage, that's what I'll do!"
At that moment, something came running quickly towards him. He climbed quickly up into the tree, gazing down at the white-clad figure below him. He saw a mass of light brown hair as the female figure below him lowered her hood. She dropped to her knees and looked up towards the sky desperately.
"Saint Genevieve," she prayed. "It's Adele. You remember me, don't you? I've prayed devoutly to you every night for years! And now where are you? In my time of need, where were you? When my father sold my youth to some wretched king, why didn't you intervene for me? Shouldn't I get to be young before I'm old?" She scowled at the sky and sat back on the ground, hugging her knees. "Well, I tell you what, I'll never pray to you again! I'm not going to be tossed about and bargained for like chickens at the market! I want to live a normal girl's life. Shouldn't I get to? Why should my life amount to this? Just when I reach the golden age of eligibility and woo-ability, too. Is my fate determined by love and by courtship? Oh, no. Of course not. Clause one: fix the border; Clause two: establish trade; Clause three: deliver me; Clause four: stop the war; five, six: pick up sticks! How unfair! How cruel! I want to be a normal girl! I want men to fight and die for me! I want a feud to begin on my account! I want to be worshipped and fawned over. Is that so much to ask? I honestly don't think so." She sighed dramatically and stood up.
David had forgotten where he was as he listened to her and studied her features. So this was his bride? She certainly was beautiful, as Merlin had told him. But she thought him a tyrant. She had called him wretched. He pondered this for a moment, but didn't do it for long, as he lost his balance and fell out of the tree, toppling to the ground beside her. He scrambled to his feet as she screeched and ran away from him quickly.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't run away! I won't hurt you!" he called to her desperately, taking several steps in her direction.
"Liar!" She called back dramatically. "You'll throw me to the ground"
"No, I wouldn't." He stepped closer towards her.
"Then you'll twist my arm and tie me to a tree!" she cried, putting a dramatic hand to her forehead.
"But I wouldn't. I promise…" He gave a lopsided smile and stepped still closer.
"Then you'll throw me over your shoulder and carry me off!" She made several movements that could only be described as still more dramatic.
"No! No, no, I wouldn't! I swear by the sword Excalibur, I won't touch you!" he assured her, nodding quickly.
She got an angry look on her face. "Well, why not? Am I that ugly?"
"No… you're beautiful," he told her honestly.
"Well? We're alone, and I'm completely defenseless! What kind of cad are you? Apologize at once." She crossed her arms defiantly.
David blinked at her, quite confused. "I'm sorry. I'm not sure what I've done, but I apologize from the bottom of my heart."
Adele looked at him for a moment, her face blank of expression. "Oh… I know what the matter is. You heard me praying, didn't you?"
"Well, yes… I couldn't help it. You pray pretty loudly." He shrugged, his face turning slightly red.
"And that means you know who I am." She crossed her arms across her chest.
"You're Adele."
"Yes, I am. And you're afraid because I might be your queen. That accounts for your respectful, polite…" She grimaced. "Despicable behavior."
"I promise I would never harm you for any reason. As for what to do with you, frankly, I don't know. I know you're to be the queen, and that I should return you to your carriage. At the same time, you're a maiden genuinely in distress. It's chivalry versus country. I can't decide which should have stronger pull over me."
Adele rolled her eyes. "You'd better decide quickly. They'll get back to the carriage soon and realize that I'm not there, and then all of Camelot will be looking for me. At least that will be exciting. Unless, of course, all of Camelot is like you, and they all go home to deliberate."
David stared at her for a moment, then turned away. "Oh, Merlin, why aren't you here when I need you to be!" he said to himself.
"Who?" Adele asked curiously.
"Merlin. My teacher. He would know exactly what to do. I'm not all that good at making decisions, so he makes them for me. He's the wisest man alive. He lives backwards."
"I beg your pardon?" Adele said, looking shocked.
"He doesn't age. He… youth-ens? He remembers the future, so he can tell you what you'll be doing in it. Do you understand?"
She blinked at him. "Of course I don't understand. But if you mean that he's some kind of fortune-teller, I'd give a year in Paradise to know mine. I mean, I can't go back to my own castle now, and I'm not ever going on to this one."
"You refuse to go on… ever?" he asked quietly, eying her carefully.
Adele sighed. "My only choice is…" She glared at him. "Don't stare. It's rude. Who are you, anyway?"
David thought for a moment, pondering what to tell her. "Actually, they call me Wart."
"Wart? What a ridiculous name! Are you sure you heard them right?" She raised an eyebrow at him.
"It's a nickname. I've had it since I was a kid."
"You're sweet, despite your name. I didn't think I would like anyone in Camelot. Imagine riding seven hours in a carriage on the verge of hysteria, then seeing that horrible castle rising in the distance, and running away; then having a man plop from a tree like an overripe apple . . . You must admit for my first day away from home it's quite a plateful. If only I were not alone. Wart, why don't you. . . Is it really Wart?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you run away with me?" Adele asked excitedly.
"Me? Run away with you?" He looked shocked.
"Of course. As my protector." Adele said frankly. "I would be taken advantage of by strangers. I expect that. But it would be horrible if nobody were there to rescue me! Think of it! We can travel the world! France, Scotland, Spain…" She had a dreamy look in her eyes.
"It's a very nice idea, but I'm afraid I can't do that. I must decline."
"You're forcing me to stay?" she shrieked.
"Of course I'm not," he told her.
"You're the only person I know in Camelot, though. Who else can I turn to?" she whined.
"If you are determined to leave, I'll find someone trustworthy to go along with you," he conceded.
"Then do so at once."
"But, do look around. It's a wonderful place to be. We have an enchanted forest where the Fairy Queen, Onyx, lives in an invisible castle. There are unicorns with silver feet. There's a talking owl named Archimedes. And we have the most equitable climate in the whole world, ordained by decree!" He grinned proudly.
"Oh, come on," Adele scoffed.
"But it's true! The crown has decreed that the climate must be perfect all year long! Winter is forbidden to arrive until December, the summer months musn't be too hot, and always linger on through September. Rain never falls until after sundown. By eight in the morning, all the fog must disappear. There's not a happier spot in the whole world for a happily-ever-after."
"Oh, I suppose the autumn leaves fall into neat little piles, do they?"
"No, no! They blow completely away. In the middle of the night, of course."
"Of course." Adele started to walk off, thinking David completely crazy now.
"Moonlight always appears by nine p.m., and the snow never slushes on the hillsides. You must admit that it's a very pleasant place to live."
"There she is!" Jack Kelly yelled as he approached.
"Wart, please! Let's go!" Adele hissed at him, biting her lip, and looking frantic.
Jack seized David, and Racetrack helped him as the rest of their party joined them. "Was he trying to hurt you, Ma'am?" Racetrack asked, holding tightly to David.
"If you'll excuse me," David said in a low voice. "I'd rather like to be let go, now, thanks."
Jack and Racetrack exchanged significant looks and then dropped their holds on him.
"Excuse me, sire, I didn't know it was you!" Jack apologized. Adele stared at him in shock. So he was the king! Well, this certainly changed things.
David walked past her and crossed his arms across his chest. "When I was about fourteen, our king died in London, and had no sons to succeed him. His only continuance was a sword put through and anvil, which stood on a stone. On the stone was written: 'Whoso pulleth out this sword of this stone and anvil is rightwise king born of all England.' Lots of guys tried to take it out, of course, but none were able to. A great tournament was proclaimed for New Years Day for all the mightiest knights in the kingdom to come and try to dislodge the sword. I was a squire to my cousin, Sir Kay during that time. He'd forgotten his sword, and gave me a shilling to ride back and get it for him. When I was riding through London, I saw the sword in the stone, and I figured I'd save myself time if I borrowed it. I went in and tried to pull it out. It didn't budge. I tried again. I failed again. Then I closed my eyes and tried as hard as I could to pull it out one more time. I felt it move in my hand, then it slowly slid out of the stone. Then there was a great roar. I opened my eyes, and there was a huge crowd shouting 'Long live the King! Long live the King!' Then I looked at the sword and saw the blade gleaming with letters of gold. That's how I became king. I never knew I would be. I never wanted to e And since I am, I've been ill at ease in my crown. Until I dropped from the tree and saw you, that is." He turned toward Adele. "I decided that I wanted to be the most heroic, most splendid king who ever sat on any throne." The knights had dissipated and gone back towards the castle, leaving Adele and David alone. "If you'll come with me, I'll arrange for you carriage to take you back to your father." He started to walk in the direction of the carriage.
"You know…" Adele said quietly. "I hear that the rain never comes until after sundown, and by eight the morning fog has flown… that the snow never slushes, and the fall leaves need no gathering." She smiled at him. "Sounds like a nice happily-ever-after spot to me."
David smiled and walked over to her. He took her hand and kissed it.
"You know, I'm scared," she told him quietly.
"Scared?"
"Marriage is rather frightening, isn't it?" she admitted.
"I have to admit, the thought had occurred to me. But now not marrying seems much more scary to me." He took her hand and put it on his arm, and took several steps until Adele stopped.
"What would have happened if we didn't marry? To the treaty, I mean."
"It would have been broken, and war would have been declared."
Adele squealed with ecstasy. "War declared over me? How exciting!" She laughed and they began to walk towards the castle.
At that moment, Merlin appeared out of the shadows, a grin on his aged face. "Well, he's ambitious at last. How foolish of me not to have realized sooner. He didn't need a lecture. He needed a queen." He chuckled and made his way behind them towards the castle.