AN/ ah yes....another chapter here... I would like to thank my reviewers..
I noticed that you were pleased that I didn't kill Ginny.. well.. I was
mortified.. I always love an tragedic death.. well.. this chapter I will
dedicate to my sis cause its her birthday tomorrow. I hope you don't mind.
To my dearest big sister Christina
Your life has not been easy, far from it. But you have survived, with an unreal power And yet, you are still yourself, nothing has changed. Well our relationship to each other has of course. From rivaling children, to two sisters who are the nearest to best friends. I dedicate this Chapter to you, and I wish you the best birthday ever. ~carshaa~
And here goes the chapter. hope you enjoy it.. It's kinda different from the others.
^^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
**
"Draco?" she burst out. A smile spread on her lips at the sight of the handsome boy.
No. more than handsome, he was beautiful, elegant, and he was perfect.
She leapt up from her seat in the library and jumped in his arms, more then welcome.
"I missed you" she whispered in his ear. A smile appeared in his lips, oh that famous smile she thought.
"Of course you did, Weasley, who wouldn't miss me"
He stated in such an arrogant tone that she playfully hit him on his arm.
He merely drew her back in his arms and spinned her around in the air.
*
She could hear Ginny's loud giggles as he spun her around, but she turned her head away, as she leaned forward to gently place a kiss on his smiling lips.
This was just too much. she thought.
No, no. she didn't love him. She didn't! She repeated in her head, this was making her feel so tortured.
But why? Oh why is it hurting so much, like a thousand knives going threw my heart.
He was attractive, charming. And who wouldn't fall for his looks?
That blond long hair, those icy eyes. that smile on his lips, right now, she thought as a backstabbing pain of jealousy went threw her.
Tears appeared in her eyes, unwanted of course.
Tears were for the weak! She thought frustrated.
I must be strong, I mustn't cry for something I don't need.
Something useless? With no meaning, something not worth the try.
Something like love
Oh yes.. Everybody has someone, It's always me who ends up alone.
Not that I often fall in love, of course.
Don't have time for that kind of rubbish.
"Oh god" she whispered as they settled down in front of her.
"Hi Hermione" Ginny almost shouted, she was obviously not looking at me, only Draco, her face was showing nothing else but joy.
Ginny sat there, smiling at the blonde boy, whose arms were around her waist.
Hermione felt herself go sick and she bent her head as tears appeared in her eyes.
This.was.too.much.
She snapped her books shut, and nearly ran out of the library, crying, getting odd looks from other students.
*
Ah this really is.heaven... He thought with a smile on his lips.
They were sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room.
Ron in his lap, and his arms around the boy's waist.
Laughing at Fred's stupid jokes, really having a good time he thought.
Of course, they knew.
It had been hard to hide these feelings they shared, and it would have been hard to come up with an excuse when the brothers found them snogging on the couch.
So. They came out.
Not that anyone had been surprised, that scared the shit out of me, It seemed like everyone had noticed it.
But they are all cool with it. Of course, Cho had just been a cover up, but everyone understood that too.
Ron was a perfect boyfriend, kind; passionate. you get the drift...
If everything is so...perfect. Voldemort gone. we finished him up three months ago. I got my Ron.then why? He thought, worried.
Why do I have these feelings of. confusion.of. un satisfaction.
Why do I sometimes feel disgusted in me. about me being gay.? What is happening with me? He thought frustrated.
Of course I love to see Ron, so totally in love with me, look at me, obviously proud.
This made Harry's day.
Or it used to.
"Harry?" Ron's voice broke Harry from his thoughts,
"What?!" he snapped before he could control himself.
Ron tensed in his lap and moved away to the seat beside Harry.
"I'm sorry love, don't know what came over me" Harry pleaded, looking sadly at Ron.
"It's ok" Ron mumbled, but Harry noticed that Ron was worried.
*
Who is that ugly figure in the mirror?
No such kind of beauty that would attract that boy who says I'm all he wants.
Again there are tears in my eyes, how typical.
I'm so weak, how can anyone stand me?
My body is thin, not as muscular as Harry's had turned, with the help of quiditch of course.
My legs are too thin, my hands too big.
I look so clumsy and stupid.
That's why people underestimated me.
The professors thought I had cheated when I got top marcs at my exams. That's why they failed me.
No one believed me, except for Harry.
Harry was always there, in my moments of weakness, in despair.
He helped me, he fought for my rights.
And with some help from Dumbledore, he did it.
Since then, I loved him.
I'm a pathetic little creature, aint I?
My life depends on him now; I'd do anything for him.
Anything.
I would rather die than live without him.
And he knows this.
I can see that he likes this; he likes to watch people worship him.
Why shouldn't he?
He is a god... He is our savior. He killed the dark lord.
Shouldn't I be happier, be honored that I got the privilege to be his boyfriend?
I love him that I can never change.
But I can't live with that.
I'm merely a slave, not a human being to him.
It kills me to know this but I've seen it in his eyes, it was so clear.
But yet. I still love him.
I'm often scared of him. He has this temper now Voldemort is finally dead.
He seems so. unsatisfied.
He is sometimes so arrogant, so. cold.
Oh, how it tares me apart to hear him shout at me, to know that he gets a kick from making me get hurt.
These thoughts are hurting me too.
I'm afraid he, just one day, snaps and. he'll do something he will or will not regret.
This pain, it's indescribable. It's unbearable.
Yes, I'm crying again.
But these tears give me some comfort; they are silent, not as when they come violently and tare my heart into a million peaces.
Is this my faith? My future?
Or am I destined to kill myself, with a broken heart?
I throw my arms around me and try to find comfort in any way possible.
I leaned against the wall, and slowly slid down the wall to the ground.
There I sat with my arms around my knees, tears now sprung free.
I feel something rush threw me, a feeling as cold as ice and I break the silence with my tortured sobs.
Yes, I'm crying, I'm letting it all out.
But it gives me only emptiness.
And emptiness I already have.
*
AN/ hey.ya all.. I'm not sure if anyone IS reading my stuff lately. but I've got hope, and if ANYONE is following with this..fic..then tell me.. Cause I live in doubt and sadness. *sniffel* and hey, what did you think about this chapter? I had more about OTHER people then just Ginny and Draco.: Do you like? Or back to Ginny and Malfoy ONLY? Aya.. and how about Ron and Hermione.. .aint it sad... I'm evil. I should make some happy people instead. damn me... REVIEW PLEASE REVIEW I love my reviews-.. ~carshaa~
To my dearest big sister Christina
Your life has not been easy, far from it. But you have survived, with an unreal power And yet, you are still yourself, nothing has changed. Well our relationship to each other has of course. From rivaling children, to two sisters who are the nearest to best friends. I dedicate this Chapter to you, and I wish you the best birthday ever. ~carshaa~
And here goes the chapter. hope you enjoy it.. It's kinda different from the others.
^^^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^
**
"Draco?" she burst out. A smile spread on her lips at the sight of the handsome boy.
No. more than handsome, he was beautiful, elegant, and he was perfect.
She leapt up from her seat in the library and jumped in his arms, more then welcome.
"I missed you" she whispered in his ear. A smile appeared in his lips, oh that famous smile she thought.
"Of course you did, Weasley, who wouldn't miss me"
He stated in such an arrogant tone that she playfully hit him on his arm.
He merely drew her back in his arms and spinned her around in the air.
*
She could hear Ginny's loud giggles as he spun her around, but she turned her head away, as she leaned forward to gently place a kiss on his smiling lips.
This was just too much. she thought.
No, no. she didn't love him. She didn't! She repeated in her head, this was making her feel so tortured.
But why? Oh why is it hurting so much, like a thousand knives going threw my heart.
He was attractive, charming. And who wouldn't fall for his looks?
That blond long hair, those icy eyes. that smile on his lips, right now, she thought as a backstabbing pain of jealousy went threw her.
Tears appeared in her eyes, unwanted of course.
Tears were for the weak! She thought frustrated.
I must be strong, I mustn't cry for something I don't need.
Something useless? With no meaning, something not worth the try.
Something like love
Oh yes.. Everybody has someone, It's always me who ends up alone.
Not that I often fall in love, of course.
Don't have time for that kind of rubbish.
"Oh god" she whispered as they settled down in front of her.
"Hi Hermione" Ginny almost shouted, she was obviously not looking at me, only Draco, her face was showing nothing else but joy.
Ginny sat there, smiling at the blonde boy, whose arms were around her waist.
Hermione felt herself go sick and she bent her head as tears appeared in her eyes.
This.was.too.much.
She snapped her books shut, and nearly ran out of the library, crying, getting odd looks from other students.
*
Ah this really is.heaven... He thought with a smile on his lips.
They were sitting on a couch in the Gryffindor common room.
Ron in his lap, and his arms around the boy's waist.
Laughing at Fred's stupid jokes, really having a good time he thought.
Of course, they knew.
It had been hard to hide these feelings they shared, and it would have been hard to come up with an excuse when the brothers found them snogging on the couch.
So. They came out.
Not that anyone had been surprised, that scared the shit out of me, It seemed like everyone had noticed it.
But they are all cool with it. Of course, Cho had just been a cover up, but everyone understood that too.
Ron was a perfect boyfriend, kind; passionate. you get the drift...
If everything is so...perfect. Voldemort gone. we finished him up three months ago. I got my Ron.then why? He thought, worried.
Why do I have these feelings of. confusion.of. un satisfaction.
Why do I sometimes feel disgusted in me. about me being gay.? What is happening with me? He thought frustrated.
Of course I love to see Ron, so totally in love with me, look at me, obviously proud.
This made Harry's day.
Or it used to.
"Harry?" Ron's voice broke Harry from his thoughts,
"What?!" he snapped before he could control himself.
Ron tensed in his lap and moved away to the seat beside Harry.
"I'm sorry love, don't know what came over me" Harry pleaded, looking sadly at Ron.
"It's ok" Ron mumbled, but Harry noticed that Ron was worried.
*
Who is that ugly figure in the mirror?
No such kind of beauty that would attract that boy who says I'm all he wants.
Again there are tears in my eyes, how typical.
I'm so weak, how can anyone stand me?
My body is thin, not as muscular as Harry's had turned, with the help of quiditch of course.
My legs are too thin, my hands too big.
I look so clumsy and stupid.
That's why people underestimated me.
The professors thought I had cheated when I got top marcs at my exams. That's why they failed me.
No one believed me, except for Harry.
Harry was always there, in my moments of weakness, in despair.
He helped me, he fought for my rights.
And with some help from Dumbledore, he did it.
Since then, I loved him.
I'm a pathetic little creature, aint I?
My life depends on him now; I'd do anything for him.
Anything.
I would rather die than live without him.
And he knows this.
I can see that he likes this; he likes to watch people worship him.
Why shouldn't he?
He is a god... He is our savior. He killed the dark lord.
Shouldn't I be happier, be honored that I got the privilege to be his boyfriend?
I love him that I can never change.
But I can't live with that.
I'm merely a slave, not a human being to him.
It kills me to know this but I've seen it in his eyes, it was so clear.
But yet. I still love him.
I'm often scared of him. He has this temper now Voldemort is finally dead.
He seems so. unsatisfied.
He is sometimes so arrogant, so. cold.
Oh, how it tares me apart to hear him shout at me, to know that he gets a kick from making me get hurt.
These thoughts are hurting me too.
I'm afraid he, just one day, snaps and. he'll do something he will or will not regret.
This pain, it's indescribable. It's unbearable.
Yes, I'm crying again.
But these tears give me some comfort; they are silent, not as when they come violently and tare my heart into a million peaces.
Is this my faith? My future?
Or am I destined to kill myself, with a broken heart?
I throw my arms around me and try to find comfort in any way possible.
I leaned against the wall, and slowly slid down the wall to the ground.
There I sat with my arms around my knees, tears now sprung free.
I feel something rush threw me, a feeling as cold as ice and I break the silence with my tortured sobs.
Yes, I'm crying, I'm letting it all out.
But it gives me only emptiness.
And emptiness I already have.
*
AN/ hey.ya all.. I'm not sure if anyone IS reading my stuff lately. but I've got hope, and if ANYONE is following with this..fic..then tell me.. Cause I live in doubt and sadness. *sniffel* and hey, what did you think about this chapter? I had more about OTHER people then just Ginny and Draco.: Do you like? Or back to Ginny and Malfoy ONLY? Aya.. and how about Ron and Hermione.. .aint it sad... I'm evil. I should make some happy people instead. damn me... REVIEW PLEASE REVIEW I love my reviews-.. ~carshaa~