AN/ do'h! *smacks herself on her forehead * Allright..Read and review
please..
A new chapter to.. ...........
I'm NOT blind, you know
*
"Harry.Please. " she whispered and started to twitch, tears rolling slowly down her all too pale cheek.
"Let me go! LEMEGOLEMEGO" she screamed and flew up in her bed still screaming those pained, muffled words. She was drained in sweat and was shivering vividly.
Not again. she thought, not again.
Don't do this to me again.
A cold fear surrounded her in the dark when she saw a dark figure beside her bed.
"Please.. " she whispered silently as the chock was overwhelming her. "Don't" she said as a single tear fell and made its way on her cheek.
She felt his arms around her again and she screamed with new fear and hatred burning inside her, killing every emotion besides them. Pain.
She started to hit and kick and desperately try to escape from those harmful arms.
I'm so weak, oh please god not again.
He is going to kill me, or worse! Oh god...the pain!
She's not actually aware of what she screamed just that she was screaming. Suddenly she was out of bed and running out of the room, stumbling, she barely thought that she wasn't, indeed, in her dormitory.
She had only one thought in mind.
Not again, just don't let him do it again to me.
The pain... The pain.. Tears ran silently but her concentration was on the running person behind her.
She ran blindly around and not knowingly she went to the library and sat down in a corner that seemed safe and out of sight.
...
Oh god! Don't let him find me.
...
Tears are useless but still they seem to appear at these times, trying to give some comfort.
The fear was slowly fading and her heart started to beat in a slower rhythm.
She curled up in a ball and threw her arms, defensively, around herself.
She sat there silent, fear had that effect to people, and she sat and was constantly on her guard.
Then she saw suddenly that one of the lanterns suddenly lit up, magically of course, and in fear of being found she smashed it accidentally on the ground.
In her state of confusion and fright she felt a strange feeling of déjà vu.
But she forced the worrying feeling back and concentrated on being quiet and hiding.
As minutes passed and nobody was to be seen she relaxed in her hiding place in the dark.
It was all dark, it was night, and she stated the obvious.
He came back, she thought and tears sprung free.
I knew it, I knew it!
He wants to... He wants to torture me again... Do it. ALL. again... She thought, she felt a lump growing in her throat.
Just do it all. again.
I'm so dirty, I'm so spoiled, this body...
This is not me. I.. just as..things started to seem almost good.
... Oh God! ...
This pain, this betrayal!
Where were my friends? My loved ones?
The people who are supposed to protect me?
Where was. Draco?
Again I'm alone and unwanted, unloved.
Oh the irony.
Is this my constant fate?
Will I always suffer this much?
Was I even supposed to survive after the chamber of secrets?
Maybe Harry thought it was time to end my life that wasn't supposed to have survived?
Maybe. she started to slowly cry quietly.
Or maybe he is pulling a cruel joke on me.
Draco.she thought, unwanted tears came again and blinded her sight.
I was.wrong..
Oh god! Not the dream, anything else but the. she stopped in her thoughts as she saw the glass pieces on the floor beside her.
No. she thought as sadness filled her.
It can't. no the dream isn't true! Hell, I am not thinking about it. I am. She thought defeated.
But. A burning sob sprung free from her throat, NO! Draco wouldn't, no please give me Draco!
Give me Draco she thought weakly.
"You can't have him, his mine" she hissed in to thin air.
He is mine. she thought..
Suddenly she heard a noise and she looked around dead scared.
He found me, she thought.
He found me. Now.
Not again! Her eyes went wide open and she knew what was to come if he had actually found her.
Pictures went threw her head.
Oh god..
NO! She whispered.
This is not going to happen, she looked at the pieces of glass and a idea went threw her head. I can end it all.
No more dreams no more pictures no more rejection.
And besides she thought and looked at her arm she looked at the scars, she had actually enjoyed the feeling before I met Draco.
Why shouldn't I now?
She listened carefully but there was no sound anymore. It must've been my imagination, yeah it must've been she thought trying to calm herself.
She looked longingly at the pieces of glass.
No, she mentally slapped herself. You haven't lost it all.
You still have Draco she thought.
But the thought gave her no sort of comfort it only filled her heart with mistrust and sadness.
"Draco" she whispered. "Please come and save me..." a single tear got loose as the loneliness surrounded Ginny.
This is hopeless.
I'll never get love now... I'm used.
.
*
.
How she fell asleep, she would never understand. But she woke up with a strange feeling in her stomach.
What's wrong? she thought?
Suddenly a sour taste went up her throat and she leaned forward and threw up.
What the.? She thought..
She listened carefully if anyone was in the library but it seemed to be too early.
She carefully stood up and walked to the door, looking carefully around.
She was certain that Harry would be anywhere.
I need Draco. why hasn't he found me..? Why isn't he here and comforting me?
Her legs felt weak so she tried to go careful but fast. She went to the only place she could think of, the hospital wing.
Every time she heard any noise she'd hide. Luckily it only was two times and both had been prefects. Neither of them from Gryffindor and neither had seen her.
When she finally found her way to the hospital wing she almost ran in and ran onto someone.
She felt someone catch her before she fell and the touch sent a fear and panic go threw her.
She'd been so careful and now. tears sprung free and she cried out in pure pain and defeat.
When the person's arms closed around her and soothingly massaged her back she looked up and saw her potions professor.
She felt one feeling go threw her and she was calm, I'm safe.
She leaned in his embrace, closed her eyes and breathed in his sent.
He lifted her up and placed her on a bed, wrapping the sheets carefully on her, brushing the hair of her eyes.
Her eyes never went away from his.
When he rose she took a hold on his wrist and whispered
"Don't! Please don't leave... Don't"
Tears leaked from her eyes and they burned on her pale cheeks.
She needed to be safe.
He nodded and sat down, putting his hand on hers.
Poppy came in and they exchanged looks and she nodded and went to an other room.
"Ginny" Severus said with a soothing voice so unlike the one she was used to hear.
"Ginny.why did you run out last night?" he asked and sounded concerned.
That settled it.
"Is anyone else here?" Ginny asked quietly. When the professor shook his head she continued.
"Why wasn't anyone protecting me?" she asked accusingly "He came HE CAME" she screamed.
"He tried to kill me! And no body cared, no body protected me.. nobody was there" she stopped as her voice broke and she started to cry again.
The betrayal, how could they. she thought.
"But Ginny" he said:
"It was a dream! Draco was there; you woke up started to scream and before Draco could stop you; you had run out of the room and disappeared: We searched for you all night: We all searched. Draco just went for an other round; he will come here in about a half hour."
Ginny merely stared at him. "What about Harry?" She whispered and dreaded the answer.
"Oh he searched too, he mostly searched the library, I searched hogsmeade, and we were all worried" he said reassuringly.
At this comment she started to cry, throwing herself in the bed.
He. he had been so near. she thought, she felt sick and she threw up in a bucket that Severus quickly fetched with his wand.
Severus looked panicked and worried and he tried to calm her and lifted a dismissive hand when Poppy came with a dreamless sleep potion.
"Ginny! What's wrong?" He asked calmly, he was half worried about that she threw up but more that she was crying.
But he already knew, that despair that fear and humiliation.
It was obvious.
Inside the professor he was screaming, kicking and killing the Potter boy, but on the outside he was calm. And so he would remain. For her sake.
"It. Itwashim, it was Harry. "She sobbed and sounded hurt.
She threw herself on her side, and avoided the professor.
"What has Mr Potter done?" He asked.
He needed the straight answer, and she needed to let it out.
"It was he who raped me" she answered quietly, tears slid down her cheeks, and the pain increasing in her heart.
"It's ok Ginny, he's not here." he brushed her head and tried to soothe out her fear.
"I will never let him come near you again." He whispered, and Ginny actually believed him.
"I know" she whispered so quietly that she wasn't sure he'd heard.
.....
*
....
"Poppy" He whispered as the girl fell in a half slumber.
"Watch over her. DON'T let anyone come in, is that clear?" he asked sharply.
"Of course Severus!" she responded, slightly hurt. As If I would let ANYONE near that poor girl.
"Good, if she wakes up give her something calming and floo after me. I will have a little chat with the headmaster." he said, and flooed to the headmasters room.
He stepped out of the green fire and searched immediately after Albus. He sat in his office in his big chair looking sad and very old.
"Hello dear Severus" He said Tired. "Now I believe you know something about Virginia" he stated.
"Yes she came running and scared to the hospital wing" he stopped and thought about Potter. "Potter raped her" he said in a cold tone without any emotion.
He saw the old mans face turn even whiter and he saw the sadness. Hope was draining away.
"I want him out of Hogwarts, somewhere else. NOW! "he shouted, there was no point to hide his anger and feelings to the Headmaster. He was more then pissed and murderous. He was devastated. He wasn't aware that he'd felt s o strong for the girl but he was aware now. And he was ready to kill Potter if he saw him in Hogwarts.
"I understand the seriousness in this Severus. I want you to retrieve Mr Potter to my office immediately"
Severus couldn't believe this. He wanted Potter dead or in Azkaban, now, and now he was supposed to retrieve him?
No bloody chance in hell he thought fiercely.
"I know how you feel Severus, but this is a must." He simply said.
Albus saw the hate flicker in Severus's eyes, but he also saw that he'd already accepted his demand.
"Albus, I'm not responsible for any harm mister Potter may receive during my escort. It is a dangerous world out there, you know." he said slyly
"but I'm off now" he simply stated went threw the door to the Gryffindor Dormitory.
As he entered threw the painting into the Gryffindor common room he had only one thought.
Oh Potter's so dead.
...
*
.....
When Ginny woke up she felt immediately nauseous, so she threw up in a bucket that stood beside her bed. This was the worst one so far.
What's wrong with me?
She thought and looked around and saw Poppy coming towards her with a sad expression on her face.
She stood by her bed, glanced at the bucket and asked with a concerned face "How often these two days have you thrown up?"
Ginny thought hard but was so worried that she couldn't concentrate.
"Maybe four, five times.? What's wrong? Am I sick?" she rambled on.
Poppy's face radiated with sympathy and Ginny went pale.
She felt so numb.
So numb.
Oh this pain, this pain.
Why me?
Yet again she felt that familiar, ice cold pain go threw her heart and all her hope faded away.
She was utterly crushed.
"Oh god, no." she whispered and yet again tears appeared in her swollen eyes.
"I will do a simple spell that will show if. if you're pregnant or not" Poppy said sadly.
Ginny rolled on her side and really wished that she'd killed herself when she had the chance.
Draco will never love me after this.
..
She felt so numb. Nothing in this body was her own, she was just a puppet.
I will never be the Ginny he loved; he will never love me again.
I can't bare this, I wont. I can't.
She clutched the sheets and threw them over her, to cover her from anyone's sight.
I'm spoiled she thought, tears soaking her pillow.
This is not happening.
Draco doesn't want me anymore.
Why me?
This pain, I can't take it.
I want to die.
I have nothing to live for.
Oh god. I will never be loved again.
I can't live anymore.
Why did he do it? Why did Harry. a person I considered my. brother..rape me..? Naw.. This must be an awful nightmare.
But.
What have I done?
Why am I getting punished? She thought and threw her arms around her, still laying on her side with the sheets over her.
"Oh dear god, give me peace" she whispered.
Give me anything, give me comfort, take this loneliness away, make me pure again, let me have my Draco. Help me.
Her pillow was entirely wet now but she didn't care, she was so alone.
*
"Ginny's here?" he shouted at the angry Poppy.
"THEN let me in! I need to see her, you will let me in!" his ice cold voice was getting louder by the second and soon he was screaming at a seriously pissed Poppy.
Ginny heard this but she sunk further in the sheets.
Not the rejection. I'm not ready...She thought with tears in her eyes.
"WHY CAN'T I SEE HER? IS SHE HURT?! You let me in NOW!" she heard Draco scream and understood that he was concerned but she couldn't. she couldn't cope with the rejection that was ahead of her.
Tears rolled down her cheek when she understood that he had a right to now.
"Poppy" she said calmly, carefully coming out from the sheets.
"Let him in, he will only be here for a couple of minutes" she said pleadingly as the mediwitch turned to her.
She nodded and let the boy in and going to her office.
Draco rushed to her bed and put his hand on hers.
She looked sadly in his eyes and he understood that something had happened.
"Ginny! I was so worried. Darling... Why did you leave? A nightmare?" She nodded for an answer.
"Ginny. who. who did it to you?" he asked carefully and softly.
Ginny closed her eyes; she knew she couldn't say it because It would kill him.
And Ginny wanted him in Azkaban. She wanted him to suffer, suffer the worst possible.
When she looked up he saw a look of pure hatred mixed with the tears.
"I can't" she whispered, and right then she threw up as the emotions made her sick.
The bucket was as usual beside the bed, it was sad that she was already used to throwing up.
"Ginny!" He almost screamed. "Are you sick? What happened?!" He looked so concerned that she went cold.
"Well" she said with an oddly cold voice." I was raped Draco." Her voice now dripping with sarcasm.
"You do know what HAPPENS when you ARE raped?" She half shouted, her voice now getting filled with a hurt tone.
Draco stared at the change; this was the hurt and tortured side coming out.
Draco noticed that tears were filling his eyes.
The bloody bastard raped her, and now she was changed. She probably hates me, she hates me cause I wasn't there. But how could I have known? He raped her, he took something from her, and now. He was so filled with emotions that he couldn't speak.
Ginny stared at the quiet person, so obviously in deep thoughts, she hated this.
"WELL, how do you now feel? Knowing that your girlfriend is spoiled, huh?" she asked with an evil smile on her lips.
"Ginny.." he whispered and leaned forward to take her in his arms but she flew backwards and stood up.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" she shouted, she hadn't noticed that Poppy had come out and was looking terrified.
"Don't you bloody touch me! You are just like him! Only wants to use me, spoil me!" she spat at his face.
"You don't love me, you never did. You're so full with yourself" she said.
"You were just waiting for the day you could fuck me and feel so proud" she said, her voice sounded bitterly.
" WELL Draco" I'm already used AND thrown in the garbage!"
"NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU TO SPOIL!" She screamed, red in the face, tears falling, blind with rage and breathing fast.
"IM .She started but started to cry.
He was staring at her, hating her. She knew it, she had known.
"I'm . pregnant" she cried and started to shout. "Yeah! I'm pregnant Draco!" her heart was tearing apart as she saw the disgusted look on her face.
"HE RAPED ME! He raped me... I'm so filthy!"
She sobbed and leaned her head backwards as the pain increased in her throat, stomach and.heart.
Filthy.
She screamed as he merely stared at her, his cold eyes filled with silent tears of hurt.
What have I done? She thought. And she fell on her knees in a sudden weakness when all her hope had left her.
He would never want me anymore.
Draco hurried to her and carried her to the bed as Poppy ran after. Shortly after she started to examine her she fainted as the pain overwhelmed her.
AN/ *cough* I'm so sorry! I've got some sort of writers block (
This is all just..crap. well.. It was at least a longer one.. yay ONE positive thing to say about it. please REVIEW, tell me how much I sucked if you like.
I need seriously help.
~carshaa~
A new chapter to.. ...........
I'm NOT blind, you know
*
"Harry.Please. " she whispered and started to twitch, tears rolling slowly down her all too pale cheek.
"Let me go! LEMEGOLEMEGO" she screamed and flew up in her bed still screaming those pained, muffled words. She was drained in sweat and was shivering vividly.
Not again. she thought, not again.
Don't do this to me again.
A cold fear surrounded her in the dark when she saw a dark figure beside her bed.
"Please.. " she whispered silently as the chock was overwhelming her. "Don't" she said as a single tear fell and made its way on her cheek.
She felt his arms around her again and she screamed with new fear and hatred burning inside her, killing every emotion besides them. Pain.
She started to hit and kick and desperately try to escape from those harmful arms.
I'm so weak, oh please god not again.
He is going to kill me, or worse! Oh god...the pain!
She's not actually aware of what she screamed just that she was screaming. Suddenly she was out of bed and running out of the room, stumbling, she barely thought that she wasn't, indeed, in her dormitory.
She had only one thought in mind.
Not again, just don't let him do it again to me.
The pain... The pain.. Tears ran silently but her concentration was on the running person behind her.
She ran blindly around and not knowingly she went to the library and sat down in a corner that seemed safe and out of sight.
...
Oh god! Don't let him find me.
...
Tears are useless but still they seem to appear at these times, trying to give some comfort.
The fear was slowly fading and her heart started to beat in a slower rhythm.
She curled up in a ball and threw her arms, defensively, around herself.
She sat there silent, fear had that effect to people, and she sat and was constantly on her guard.
Then she saw suddenly that one of the lanterns suddenly lit up, magically of course, and in fear of being found she smashed it accidentally on the ground.
In her state of confusion and fright she felt a strange feeling of déjà vu.
But she forced the worrying feeling back and concentrated on being quiet and hiding.
As minutes passed and nobody was to be seen she relaxed in her hiding place in the dark.
It was all dark, it was night, and she stated the obvious.
He came back, she thought and tears sprung free.
I knew it, I knew it!
He wants to... He wants to torture me again... Do it. ALL. again... She thought, she felt a lump growing in her throat.
Just do it all. again.
I'm so dirty, I'm so spoiled, this body...
This is not me. I.. just as..things started to seem almost good.
... Oh God! ...
This pain, this betrayal!
Where were my friends? My loved ones?
The people who are supposed to protect me?
Where was. Draco?
Again I'm alone and unwanted, unloved.
Oh the irony.
Is this my constant fate?
Will I always suffer this much?
Was I even supposed to survive after the chamber of secrets?
Maybe Harry thought it was time to end my life that wasn't supposed to have survived?
Maybe. she started to slowly cry quietly.
Or maybe he is pulling a cruel joke on me.
Draco.she thought, unwanted tears came again and blinded her sight.
I was.wrong..
Oh god! Not the dream, anything else but the. she stopped in her thoughts as she saw the glass pieces on the floor beside her.
No. she thought as sadness filled her.
It can't. no the dream isn't true! Hell, I am not thinking about it. I am. She thought defeated.
But. A burning sob sprung free from her throat, NO! Draco wouldn't, no please give me Draco!
Give me Draco she thought weakly.
"You can't have him, his mine" she hissed in to thin air.
He is mine. she thought..
Suddenly she heard a noise and she looked around dead scared.
He found me, she thought.
He found me. Now.
Not again! Her eyes went wide open and she knew what was to come if he had actually found her.
Pictures went threw her head.
Oh god..
NO! She whispered.
This is not going to happen, she looked at the pieces of glass and a idea went threw her head. I can end it all.
No more dreams no more pictures no more rejection.
And besides she thought and looked at her arm she looked at the scars, she had actually enjoyed the feeling before I met Draco.
Why shouldn't I now?
She listened carefully but there was no sound anymore. It must've been my imagination, yeah it must've been she thought trying to calm herself.
She looked longingly at the pieces of glass.
No, she mentally slapped herself. You haven't lost it all.
You still have Draco she thought.
But the thought gave her no sort of comfort it only filled her heart with mistrust and sadness.
"Draco" she whispered. "Please come and save me..." a single tear got loose as the loneliness surrounded Ginny.
This is hopeless.
I'll never get love now... I'm used.
.
*
.
How she fell asleep, she would never understand. But she woke up with a strange feeling in her stomach.
What's wrong? she thought?
Suddenly a sour taste went up her throat and she leaned forward and threw up.
What the.? She thought..
She listened carefully if anyone was in the library but it seemed to be too early.
She carefully stood up and walked to the door, looking carefully around.
She was certain that Harry would be anywhere.
I need Draco. why hasn't he found me..? Why isn't he here and comforting me?
Her legs felt weak so she tried to go careful but fast. She went to the only place she could think of, the hospital wing.
Every time she heard any noise she'd hide. Luckily it only was two times and both had been prefects. Neither of them from Gryffindor and neither had seen her.
When she finally found her way to the hospital wing she almost ran in and ran onto someone.
She felt someone catch her before she fell and the touch sent a fear and panic go threw her.
She'd been so careful and now. tears sprung free and she cried out in pure pain and defeat.
When the person's arms closed around her and soothingly massaged her back she looked up and saw her potions professor.
She felt one feeling go threw her and she was calm, I'm safe.
She leaned in his embrace, closed her eyes and breathed in his sent.
He lifted her up and placed her on a bed, wrapping the sheets carefully on her, brushing the hair of her eyes.
Her eyes never went away from his.
When he rose she took a hold on his wrist and whispered
"Don't! Please don't leave... Don't"
Tears leaked from her eyes and they burned on her pale cheeks.
She needed to be safe.
He nodded and sat down, putting his hand on hers.
Poppy came in and they exchanged looks and she nodded and went to an other room.
"Ginny" Severus said with a soothing voice so unlike the one she was used to hear.
"Ginny.why did you run out last night?" he asked and sounded concerned.
That settled it.
"Is anyone else here?" Ginny asked quietly. When the professor shook his head she continued.
"Why wasn't anyone protecting me?" she asked accusingly "He came HE CAME" she screamed.
"He tried to kill me! And no body cared, no body protected me.. nobody was there" she stopped as her voice broke and she started to cry again.
The betrayal, how could they. she thought.
"But Ginny" he said:
"It was a dream! Draco was there; you woke up started to scream and before Draco could stop you; you had run out of the room and disappeared: We searched for you all night: We all searched. Draco just went for an other round; he will come here in about a half hour."
Ginny merely stared at him. "What about Harry?" She whispered and dreaded the answer.
"Oh he searched too, he mostly searched the library, I searched hogsmeade, and we were all worried" he said reassuringly.
At this comment she started to cry, throwing herself in the bed.
He. he had been so near. she thought, she felt sick and she threw up in a bucket that Severus quickly fetched with his wand.
Severus looked panicked and worried and he tried to calm her and lifted a dismissive hand when Poppy came with a dreamless sleep potion.
"Ginny! What's wrong?" He asked calmly, he was half worried about that she threw up but more that she was crying.
But he already knew, that despair that fear and humiliation.
It was obvious.
Inside the professor he was screaming, kicking and killing the Potter boy, but on the outside he was calm. And so he would remain. For her sake.
"It. Itwashim, it was Harry. "She sobbed and sounded hurt.
She threw herself on her side, and avoided the professor.
"What has Mr Potter done?" He asked.
He needed the straight answer, and she needed to let it out.
"It was he who raped me" she answered quietly, tears slid down her cheeks, and the pain increasing in her heart.
"It's ok Ginny, he's not here." he brushed her head and tried to soothe out her fear.
"I will never let him come near you again." He whispered, and Ginny actually believed him.
"I know" she whispered so quietly that she wasn't sure he'd heard.
.....
*
....
"Poppy" He whispered as the girl fell in a half slumber.
"Watch over her. DON'T let anyone come in, is that clear?" he asked sharply.
"Of course Severus!" she responded, slightly hurt. As If I would let ANYONE near that poor girl.
"Good, if she wakes up give her something calming and floo after me. I will have a little chat with the headmaster." he said, and flooed to the headmasters room.
He stepped out of the green fire and searched immediately after Albus. He sat in his office in his big chair looking sad and very old.
"Hello dear Severus" He said Tired. "Now I believe you know something about Virginia" he stated.
"Yes she came running and scared to the hospital wing" he stopped and thought about Potter. "Potter raped her" he said in a cold tone without any emotion.
He saw the old mans face turn even whiter and he saw the sadness. Hope was draining away.
"I want him out of Hogwarts, somewhere else. NOW! "he shouted, there was no point to hide his anger and feelings to the Headmaster. He was more then pissed and murderous. He was devastated. He wasn't aware that he'd felt s o strong for the girl but he was aware now. And he was ready to kill Potter if he saw him in Hogwarts.
"I understand the seriousness in this Severus. I want you to retrieve Mr Potter to my office immediately"
Severus couldn't believe this. He wanted Potter dead or in Azkaban, now, and now he was supposed to retrieve him?
No bloody chance in hell he thought fiercely.
"I know how you feel Severus, but this is a must." He simply said.
Albus saw the hate flicker in Severus's eyes, but he also saw that he'd already accepted his demand.
"Albus, I'm not responsible for any harm mister Potter may receive during my escort. It is a dangerous world out there, you know." he said slyly
"but I'm off now" he simply stated went threw the door to the Gryffindor Dormitory.
As he entered threw the painting into the Gryffindor common room he had only one thought.
Oh Potter's so dead.
...
*
.....
When Ginny woke up she felt immediately nauseous, so she threw up in a bucket that stood beside her bed. This was the worst one so far.
What's wrong with me?
She thought and looked around and saw Poppy coming towards her with a sad expression on her face.
She stood by her bed, glanced at the bucket and asked with a concerned face "How often these two days have you thrown up?"
Ginny thought hard but was so worried that she couldn't concentrate.
"Maybe four, five times.? What's wrong? Am I sick?" she rambled on.
Poppy's face radiated with sympathy and Ginny went pale.
She felt so numb.
So numb.
Oh this pain, this pain.
Why me?
Yet again she felt that familiar, ice cold pain go threw her heart and all her hope faded away.
She was utterly crushed.
"Oh god, no." she whispered and yet again tears appeared in her swollen eyes.
"I will do a simple spell that will show if. if you're pregnant or not" Poppy said sadly.
Ginny rolled on her side and really wished that she'd killed herself when she had the chance.
Draco will never love me after this.
..
She felt so numb. Nothing in this body was her own, she was just a puppet.
I will never be the Ginny he loved; he will never love me again.
I can't bare this, I wont. I can't.
She clutched the sheets and threw them over her, to cover her from anyone's sight.
I'm spoiled she thought, tears soaking her pillow.
This is not happening.
Draco doesn't want me anymore.
Why me?
This pain, I can't take it.
I want to die.
I have nothing to live for.
Oh god. I will never be loved again.
I can't live anymore.
Why did he do it? Why did Harry. a person I considered my. brother..rape me..? Naw.. This must be an awful nightmare.
But.
What have I done?
Why am I getting punished? She thought and threw her arms around her, still laying on her side with the sheets over her.
"Oh dear god, give me peace" she whispered.
Give me anything, give me comfort, take this loneliness away, make me pure again, let me have my Draco. Help me.
Her pillow was entirely wet now but she didn't care, she was so alone.
*
"Ginny's here?" he shouted at the angry Poppy.
"THEN let me in! I need to see her, you will let me in!" his ice cold voice was getting louder by the second and soon he was screaming at a seriously pissed Poppy.
Ginny heard this but she sunk further in the sheets.
Not the rejection. I'm not ready...She thought with tears in her eyes.
"WHY CAN'T I SEE HER? IS SHE HURT?! You let me in NOW!" she heard Draco scream and understood that he was concerned but she couldn't. she couldn't cope with the rejection that was ahead of her.
Tears rolled down her cheek when she understood that he had a right to now.
"Poppy" she said calmly, carefully coming out from the sheets.
"Let him in, he will only be here for a couple of minutes" she said pleadingly as the mediwitch turned to her.
She nodded and let the boy in and going to her office.
Draco rushed to her bed and put his hand on hers.
She looked sadly in his eyes and he understood that something had happened.
"Ginny! I was so worried. Darling... Why did you leave? A nightmare?" She nodded for an answer.
"Ginny. who. who did it to you?" he asked carefully and softly.
Ginny closed her eyes; she knew she couldn't say it because It would kill him.
And Ginny wanted him in Azkaban. She wanted him to suffer, suffer the worst possible.
When she looked up he saw a look of pure hatred mixed with the tears.
"I can't" she whispered, and right then she threw up as the emotions made her sick.
The bucket was as usual beside the bed, it was sad that she was already used to throwing up.
"Ginny!" He almost screamed. "Are you sick? What happened?!" He looked so concerned that she went cold.
"Well" she said with an oddly cold voice." I was raped Draco." Her voice now dripping with sarcasm.
"You do know what HAPPENS when you ARE raped?" She half shouted, her voice now getting filled with a hurt tone.
Draco stared at the change; this was the hurt and tortured side coming out.
Draco noticed that tears were filling his eyes.
The bloody bastard raped her, and now she was changed. She probably hates me, she hates me cause I wasn't there. But how could I have known? He raped her, he took something from her, and now. He was so filled with emotions that he couldn't speak.
Ginny stared at the quiet person, so obviously in deep thoughts, she hated this.
"WELL, how do you now feel? Knowing that your girlfriend is spoiled, huh?" she asked with an evil smile on her lips.
"Ginny.." he whispered and leaned forward to take her in his arms but she flew backwards and stood up.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!" she shouted, she hadn't noticed that Poppy had come out and was looking terrified.
"Don't you bloody touch me! You are just like him! Only wants to use me, spoil me!" she spat at his face.
"You don't love me, you never did. You're so full with yourself" she said.
"You were just waiting for the day you could fuck me and feel so proud" she said, her voice sounded bitterly.
" WELL Draco" I'm already used AND thrown in the garbage!"
"NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU TO SPOIL!" She screamed, red in the face, tears falling, blind with rage and breathing fast.
"IM .She started but started to cry.
He was staring at her, hating her. She knew it, she had known.
"I'm . pregnant" she cried and started to shout. "Yeah! I'm pregnant Draco!" her heart was tearing apart as she saw the disgusted look on her face.
"HE RAPED ME! He raped me... I'm so filthy!"
She sobbed and leaned her head backwards as the pain increased in her throat, stomach and.heart.
Filthy.
She screamed as he merely stared at her, his cold eyes filled with silent tears of hurt.
What have I done? She thought. And she fell on her knees in a sudden weakness when all her hope had left her.
He would never want me anymore.
Draco hurried to her and carried her to the bed as Poppy ran after. Shortly after she started to examine her she fainted as the pain overwhelmed her.
AN/ *cough* I'm so sorry! I've got some sort of writers block (
This is all just..crap. well.. It was at least a longer one.. yay ONE positive thing to say about it. please REVIEW, tell me how much I sucked if you like.
I need seriously help.
~carshaa~