Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but Salyti! I wish I owned Gundam Wing, Saiyuki and everything else, but I don't! SO, don't sue me!!

Salyti: She only created me. She does NOT own me!

RS: Oh, come on. Admit it, I own you.

Salyti *shakes head*: No! No! No! No!

RS: Well, I don't own......... Bed, Bath & Beyond! *Star Trek theme plays* Ahem? *Salyti turns music off* That's what I thought. *Aside* See? I do own him!

Chapter 10: Bed Bath & Beyond

"Luke," Darth Vader gasped. "I am your father... Join the dark side, it is your-"

"Hold on!" Relena yelled. Darth Vader and Luke looked at her. "You guys are at the wrong store. This is a 'normal' store."

"It is?" Luke asked, looking at the title.

"She's right," Darth Vader sighed. "Let's go home. I have to teach you how to play catch the normal people way. Not that sissy way those Jedi's teach you."

"No way!" Luke said, happily. "You're really going to teach me this time?"

"Wow, I wish I had a father like that," Duo said, as they went into the store. Elevator music greeted them, and several hundred different scents.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" Trowa screamed. Everyone looked at him. "It's a stinky store!" Heero grabbed Trowa's arms, before he could run out. "Let go of me! I can't stand it in here! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

"Trowa," Quatre said, putting his hands on Trowa's shoulders. "It will be okay. Just think happy thoughts, like the nice lady at the hospital said." Trowa nodded.

"Think happy thoughts," Trowa said, closing his eyes. "Think happy thoughts." Everyone= O_O;;

"Besides, why did we come here anyway?" Duo asked.

"I need a new butcher knife," Wufei proclaimed. "A new apron, a new frying pan and just to look around."

"And I want some new shower curtains and a few new kitchen utensils. Come on, Heero!" She grabbed Heero's arm and drug him away.

"But you don't cook!" Heero yelled.

"I'll stay with Trowa," Quatre said, glancing over at him. "Keep an eye after Duo."

"No problem," Wufei said, with a nod. Wufei turned, but Duo had disappeared.

"What do you prefer, Heero?" Relena asked. "These hot pink curtains or these light pink curtains."

"What's with pink?! I don't mind these clear ones, myself," Heero said. Wham!

"You pervert! I know you want to see me in the shower, without clothes!"

"That would be a freak show," Heero mumbled. Wham!

"Duo?" Wufei called, as he walked down the aisles. He saw a worker, stacking items on a shelf. "Excuse me, have you seen a braided baka come this way?"

"Oh yeah I have," Excel said, nodding rapidly. "I think he went that way. Or, was it the other way. Maybe he was headed towards the towels... Or was it the kitchen supplies? Hmmmmm."

"Trowa, it will be okay," Quatre said, leading him through the store.

"Can we just sit in the car?" Trowa asked, nervously twitching.

"No, because Heero locked the car," Quatre said, with a sigh.

"Can't we break into the car?"

"No."

"I know you know how to pick locks."

"No."

"It'll be fun."

"No," Quatre said, getting annoyed.

"Please?!" Trowa asked, hugging Quatre's arm. "I need to get out of here! Please don't make me stay in here!" Trowa started to cry. "Please, Quatre!"

"NO!" Quatre screamed. "I am NOT picking any locks or taking you out of this store!"

"You're a big meanie!" Trowa screamed, running away.

"Ugh," Quatre said, noticing people staring. "He's my mother's sister's cousin's boyfriend's son I'm babysitting. He's a little immature for his age. *laughing nervously* "

"This is such a boring store," Duo sighed. "How could anyone-" Whack! "Ahhh! Someone's attacking me!"

"I wish Trowa showed me some knife throwing techniques," Wufei sighed, prying the knife from the wall in front of Duo. "Then it would be much easier to hit you."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! It's the attack of the Crazy Chinese Man!!" Duo screamed, running away.

"Hey! Come back here!" Wufei yelled, grabbing a cheese mallet and running after Duo.

"Heero, honey," Relena said. "Which pink do you like for pillows?" Relena held up fifteen different pillows, with similar shades of pink.

"I like this white pillow myself," Heero said. "It reminds me of that girl with her dog-"

"WHAT?! You're cheating on me?!" Relena yelled. Relena grew five times bigger. Heero looked nervous.

"No!" Heero yelled. "I, hey wait a second, we never were going out!"

"What?" Relena asked, shrinking back to size. Her eyes were watering. "What about that romantic night in the inn? Those moonlit walks? Those romantic nights in your gundam? That time together in the Sanc kingdom!"

"First of all," Heero said. "Duo was in the inn with us. You made Quatre go with you on that romantic walk. I didn't spend that much time with you in the Sanc kingdom, and you were never in my gundam!"

"Oh yeah," Relena said, remembering. "That was Heavyarms-" She cut herself off, then looked at Heero. Heero raised an eyebrow. Relena grinned.

"What were you doing in Heavyarms?" Heero asked. Relena giggled, then whispered in Heero's ear. "WHAT?!" Heero screamed, shaking the building.

"The 'what' that was heard around the world," Dream-tiger said.

"What's going on?" Quatre asked, waking up from being hit on the back of the head with something. His arms and legs were tied to a chair.

"Mwhahahahahahahaha!" he heard. He looked up. There was Deorwin, with an army of rubber duckies behind him. Salyti appeared, with a radio playing "Cheeseburger in Paradise." Salyti= ^o^ "Didn't I tell my sister not to play that?!" Deorwin asked, annoyed.

"It's your theme song," Salyti said, then started singing along.

"I shall destroy you first, then I'll deal with Quatre," Deorwin said, laughing evilly.

"Actually," Salyti said, making the radio disappear. "You can't do that. You can't even touch me. Remember the contract with your sister?"

"Contract?" Quatre asked, in disbelief. Maxwell (the hamster) appears, with a piece of paper.

"It says that you can do whatever you want to Quatre, as long as you don't touch Salyti," Maxwell read, then disappeared.

"I never made that contract!!" Deorwin yelled.

"Sorry, the hamster said it, which means you made it," Salyti said, smiling. Deorwin growled.

"Fine, then you'll watch Quatre suffer!" Deorwin said, smiling evilly.

"I don't think you can do anything to him, if I sit on him," Salyti said, sitting on Quatre's lap. "Now you can't get to him, without getting to me first!"

"He's right," squeaked one of the rubber ducks.

"Let's retreat, sir," squeaked another.

"Fine, but you have not seen the last of Deorwin! Mwhahahahah-" Wham!

"That's what you get for waking up the baby!" A lady yelled, hitting Deorwin with her purse.

"Retreat!" Deorwin yelled, running away with his army and the angry lady following him.

"YOU!" Heero yelled.

"What?" Trowa asked. He was in the bathroom, cowering in a corner. Heero went over to Trowa.

"You and Relena had fun in Heavyarms, didn't you?" he asked, crossing his arms.

"Actually, yeah, it was pretty fun playing Barbies," Trowa said, grinning.

"You sick pervert!" Heero yelled, slapping Trowa repeatedly.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow."

"Stop it!" Relena yelled, grabbing Heero's arm. Trowa's eyes become dots.

"Relena, you're in the men's bathroom," Trowa said.

"Don't hurt Trowa! Trowa is my only friend in this world!" Relena cried. Then, she added, "all my other friends are in the space colonies." Heero and Trowa= o_o

"Negative energy... must produce it..." Xellos said, from within one of the stalls.

"Negative energy? Then you must be a bad guy!" Sailor Moon suddenly said, from another stall. All of the sailor scouts appeared and attacked Xellos' stall. "We fight for love and justice; we're the sailor scouts!"

"What's with all these girls in the men's bathroom?!" Trowa screamed. "This is a demented store! I must escape!" Trowa ran away.

"You know," Heero said to Relena. "I think Trowa has finally lost it."

"I like insane men," Relena said, smiling.

"Wufei," Duo said. They were sitting in the lounge chairs, drinking sodas from the machine in the worker's lounge. "You know I haven't seen one trace of those dudes that keep following us around."

"Me either," Wufei said, sipping his Pepsi. "That's kind of strange." Ansem walked passed, with a pink apron on, pushing a cart. "No, that's pretty strange."

"Wufei," Duo said. "Coke is much better than Pepsi."

"No, Pepsi is much better than Coke," Wufei said, glaring at Duo.

"I don't like either. Beer is the best," Gojyo said, walking by.

"And I thought we were going to have a whole chapter without you guys," Wufei said, grimly.

"Well, we like surprises," Sanzo said, from behind Wufei's chair.

"Ah! What are you doing?!" Duo asked. "NO!!! It's.... It's.... It's..."

"What's your problem? They're just Barbies," Goku said, putting a pink dress on his barbie. Twilight Zone music plays.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!" Duo and Wufei screamed running away and into Trowa. Duo, Wufei and Trowa = X_X

"I'm thankful that you've saved me from being killed," Quatre said.

"No problem," Salyti said. "My job is to help those in need of help and correct the wrongs of my planet. It's all in a days work. Doesn't pay much, which's why I live as a wanderer."

"I used to be a wanderer too, that I was," Kenshin said, smiling. "But then I settled down with Miss Kauro and her family that I did."

"Ahhhhhhh! Kenshin words!" Chris yelled.

"Wait! There you are!" Kenshin said, running after Chris.

"That's nice, and I don't mean to be rude, but," Quatre cleared his throat, "Could you please get off of me?!"

"Oh, sorry ^.^" Salyti said, getting off of Quatre. "I guess you want me to leave, too?"

"No! Untie me!" Quatre yelled.

"My goodness! No need to get so emotional about this kind of thing. I was about to get Elenwen over here so she could-"

"No! Don't get her! Just untie me!"

"You didn't say the magic word," Salyti said, crossing his arms. Quatre looked irritated, then sighed.

"Please untie me, Salyti," Quatre said, slowly.

"That's better, even though I'm not planning on doing it anyway."

"What?!"

"Well, we've found most of them," Relena said, looking at the group on the floor.

"Where's Quatre?" Heero asked, suddenly.

"Oh no! An evil rubber ducky has hit my little Quatre!" Relena cried.

"Little Quatre?" Heero asked, raising an eyebrow. Relena blushed. "What did you do to him?"

"Spike his tea a little and he gets really friendly," Relena giggled.

"No! When did you do this to him?"

"That lovely romantic walk that lasted until morning," Relena said, blushing. "He doesn't remember a thing."

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo *gasp, gasp* oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Heero screamed.

"Oooooooo!" Elenwen said, walking around Quatre. Elenwen poked Quatre. "He's real... OoooOOooooOO!"

"Very much real," Salyti said, nodding. "As real as I am."

"Quick! We must hide him before-"

"Look girls! There's Quatre!" screamed a fan. Millions of girls suddenly fill the store.

"Good thing we got out of there in time," Relena said.

"Yeah, that would have been a real mess if we stayed in there," Wufei agreed.

"I know," Quatre said, drinking a cup of tea.

"Quatre, I have one question," Heero said, seriously.

"Hm?"

"Where did you get that tea?" Heero asked, pointing at the cup.

"This is a random story and random things don't need an explanation," Quatre said. "Isn't that right, Salyti and Elenwen?" Salyti and Elenwen nodded, rapidly.

"The drink of the one Quatre," Trowa said, holding up a box of green tea. "Tea!"

"Hey, I drink tea, too," Xellos said, happily appearing with his cup of tea.

"You ruin the moment," Trowa said, pushing Xellos away.

"I drink tea too," Hakkai said, appearing with his cup of tea.

"Okay, okay, the drink of weird people," Trowa said. "Mostly demons."

"I'm not a demon!" Xellos and Quatre said.

"Next store!" Duo said, happily driving away.

"Hey! You left us!" Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Heero and Relena yelled, running after the car.

"Oh my," Hakkai said. "Hakuryu, do you think we should give them a lift?"

"Piiiiii..."

"I didn't think so either."

**********************************************

RS: And the day is saved, thanks to-

Salyti *happily*: The Powerpuff Girls! *whack! whack!* Ow, what did I say?

RS *putting away paper fan*: I was going to say you.

Salyti: I didn't do anything!

RS: One, you saved Quatre from the rubber ducky. Two, you saved him again from the millions of fan girls by-

Salyti *covers RS' mouth*: Don't tell them!

RS *muffled by Salyti's hand*: What? Everyone that has read my story knows.

Salyti *points to reader audience*: Well, most of them haven't.

RS: Good point. Well, good bye for now!

**********************************************

Salyti *pops in a CD that starts playing "Catwalk (I'm too Sexy)"*: Next time, on Shopping Spree! We're going to a unique store, that has foods and things from other parts of the world in it. Will Wufei lose it in the food section? Will Trowa freak out from any sorts of scents? Well, I know all the answers, but I'm not going to tell you! Watch out for the next Shopping Spree! *starts dancing to the song and singing* I'm a model, you know what I mean, when I do my little turn on the cat walk-

RS *walks in*: O_O Salyti! What are you doing?! *Salyti cuts off music and blushes*

Salyti: Uh, dancing?

RS: That was dancing?! That looked like a ritual or something! *Salyti turns brighter red*