Chapter 15 - The End of the Beginning.
Remus paled. James had woken him up early, and the other two boys too. He needed to have it out with him.
"You're a werewolf." James said; it wasn't a question. Remus looked petrified, and paler and more ill than ever. Sirius was gawping at James and Remus, and Peter looked as though he was about to faint.
"Yes I am." He replied, he seemed defeated, and sounded incredibly sad. "I was very little when I was bitten, and I lived in a small village full of wizarding families. I could never make friends because of what I am. I was ignored, abused and beaten up regularly. That's why when I came to Hogwarts I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't take the rejection. I knew I'd never have friends again if anyone knew I was a, a, a monster." He spat the last word out as though it tasted bitter. James was astounded. How could he have believed he wouldn't what to be friends with him after he found out? "How did you find out?"
"Remus, I can't believe you think that. I want to be your friend, I really do, I just wish you'd told us sooner. It wasn't too hard to work out. You're a terrible liar and you disappeared once a month when there's a full moon. You look ill and tired afterwards, but it's ok. I don't mind." James said, trying to sound soothing. Remus looked up, hopefulness etched all over his face; it was as though he'd never dared to believe that this response could ever be possible.
"Yeah Remus," Sirius was speaking now, he'd stopped gawking, "I still want to be your friend too. Is there anything we can do to help? Is there anything that makes it easier?" James had been thinking the same thing. He knew the transformations were supposed to be painful, and Remus always returned looking very ill. He wanted to help if he could. In whatever way he could.
Peter hadn't said anything yet. James gave him a warning look, that clearly said 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.' Peter gave a whimper and huddled under the blankets, cowering. He seemed terrified. How could he be scared of Remus? There was no one more polite, more articulate or more conscientious and there was certainly no one as nice.
Remus looked happier at that moment than he'd ever looked. "I didn't dare believe you'd accept me. I couldn't bring myself to tell you in case you hated me for it. I loved having friends. I didn't want to risk it." "Well it seems, my dear Remus, that telling us was the best thing you ever did. James and I will be much better friends now we know, and we'll be able to make your disappearances more convincing. Tell me Remus; is your mum really ill?" Remus shook his head, looking a bit ashamed of himself. Sirius grinned wickedly. "You always were a terrible liar Remus Lupin, I think it's my turn to play the role of teacher." They got changed and headed downstairs to breakfast, laughing. James called to them that he'd be with them in a minute and turned his attention to the quivering wreck that was Peter.
"Get a grip on yourself." James said softly, almost dangerously. He was very worried that Peter would say something stupid and confirm Remus' suspicions that people wouldn't want to be friends with him if they knew what he was. "There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just Remus, he hasn't changed over night. You should trust your friend enough to know he's not like they describe werewolves. You shouldn't believe everything you hear Peter, people who write books don't always know best." With that he went down to breakfast, hoping Peter would join them soon. He didn't want him to be a problem.
Remus was chatting merrily with Sirius at breakfast. He was still a bit pale with the shock of it all, but he also seemed very happy. James joined them, and that morning they had the best breakfast in ages. James held his breath as Peter approached the table. As always, he was a loose cannon. James breathed a sigh of relief as Peter sat down next to him and smiled at Remus. "You're right." Was all he said to him, and James felt more warmly to Peter at that moment than he had in a long time.
What little was left of the year disappeared almost immediately. Before they knew it, trunks were packed, rooms were empty and animals were hooting, hissing and croaking in their cages. They had their exam results; James was pleasantly surprised to find he'd passed everything with very high marks. He was torn between sadness at leaving the place where he'd had more fun than he'd ever had in his life, and happiness that he'd soon be seeing his parents and his wonderful little sister again. At breakfast on the last day, James, Sirius and Remus had snuck down to the kitchen, and while Sirius was distracting the house elves Remus and James had slipped fizzing whizzbees in the sausages and before they knew it, people were levitating all over the room. Professor Dumbledore included. His eyes twinkled in James' direction. He smiled innocently back. He was also levitating, it would have looked too suspicious if they were the only ones still in their seats.
Dumbledore muttered an incantation, created no doubt, to counter this particular phenomenon. It can't have been the first time this had happened (but probably not on such a grand scale).
On the train, the boys hurried to find an empty compartment. They wanted to discuss Remus' problem and what they could do about it. Sirius looked uncharacteristically serious as he asked Remus to tell them about his affliction and any ways they could help to make it more bearable.
"Well, every month Madame Pomfrey takes me to the Whomping Willow and the shrieking shack in Hogsmeade. You know the screams and howls the villagers have been hearing recently? I made them. The transformation is very painful, and because there are no humans to bite, I bite and scratch myself instead." He sounded very miserable. "No human can go anywhere near me while I'm like that. I'm a monster. I don't think there's anything you can do to help me."
"No human eh?" Sirius said. What was he talking about? "Look, I think I've had an idea, but I'm not sure if it'll work, so I won't tell you about it just now because I don't want to get your hopes up. Have a think about it over the summer and I'll tell you when I see you next if I think it's possible. Okay?" James really wanted to know what he had in mind, but he didn't want to get Remus' hopes up either. Remus did seem more cheerful after Sirius' announcement, although that was probably because he had three friends who were willing to do whatever was in their power to help them. James could see he was very grateful. He smiled at Remus, who grinned back.
They passed the rest of the journey quietly. They couldn't really talk anymore because people were running up and down the train and popping in and out of their compartment. Instead they had a few games of exploding snap, and chattered happily about their plans for the holidays. Sirius was going to Greece with his parents to visit a random member of his family, he was quite vague about it, said it was an uncle or something who worked for the Department of International Magical Co-operation in the Ministry of Magic and he had some task or another to do in Greece. Sirius wasn't too clear with the details. Whatever it was, James was sure Sirius would come back with a great tan! Peter was going to France with his parents. He wasn't really looking forward to it though. As far as James knew, he wasn't doing anything special this holiday. Neither was Remus. James suggested they all get together at some point in the holidays.
"Look, if anyone gets bored, you're always welcome at my house. Just send me an owl first." The other boys grinned back at James as the train pulled up in Platform 9 ¾. He waved goodbye to them all as he met his parents and was just about to go when he spotted Lily with her parents and very sulky sister. He caught her eye and smiled. She smiled back, and James got that strange feeling again. That exposed feeling. She knew something.
No, she knew everything!
Thank you for reading. And thank you to all of you who have reviewed. I enjoyed writing this story very much, and there's a sequel that I will be starting to post very shortly so please go on to read that next. It will continue James' story into his second year.
Remus paled. James had woken him up early, and the other two boys too. He needed to have it out with him.
"You're a werewolf." James said; it wasn't a question. Remus looked petrified, and paler and more ill than ever. Sirius was gawping at James and Remus, and Peter looked as though he was about to faint.
"Yes I am." He replied, he seemed defeated, and sounded incredibly sad. "I was very little when I was bitten, and I lived in a small village full of wizarding families. I could never make friends because of what I am. I was ignored, abused and beaten up regularly. That's why when I came to Hogwarts I didn't tell anyone. I couldn't take the rejection. I knew I'd never have friends again if anyone knew I was a, a, a monster." He spat the last word out as though it tasted bitter. James was astounded. How could he have believed he wouldn't what to be friends with him after he found out? "How did you find out?"
"Remus, I can't believe you think that. I want to be your friend, I really do, I just wish you'd told us sooner. It wasn't too hard to work out. You're a terrible liar and you disappeared once a month when there's a full moon. You look ill and tired afterwards, but it's ok. I don't mind." James said, trying to sound soothing. Remus looked up, hopefulness etched all over his face; it was as though he'd never dared to believe that this response could ever be possible.
"Yeah Remus," Sirius was speaking now, he'd stopped gawking, "I still want to be your friend too. Is there anything we can do to help? Is there anything that makes it easier?" James had been thinking the same thing. He knew the transformations were supposed to be painful, and Remus always returned looking very ill. He wanted to help if he could. In whatever way he could.
Peter hadn't said anything yet. James gave him a warning look, that clearly said 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.' Peter gave a whimper and huddled under the blankets, cowering. He seemed terrified. How could he be scared of Remus? There was no one more polite, more articulate or more conscientious and there was certainly no one as nice.
Remus looked happier at that moment than he'd ever looked. "I didn't dare believe you'd accept me. I couldn't bring myself to tell you in case you hated me for it. I loved having friends. I didn't want to risk it." "Well it seems, my dear Remus, that telling us was the best thing you ever did. James and I will be much better friends now we know, and we'll be able to make your disappearances more convincing. Tell me Remus; is your mum really ill?" Remus shook his head, looking a bit ashamed of himself. Sirius grinned wickedly. "You always were a terrible liar Remus Lupin, I think it's my turn to play the role of teacher." They got changed and headed downstairs to breakfast, laughing. James called to them that he'd be with them in a minute and turned his attention to the quivering wreck that was Peter.
"Get a grip on yourself." James said softly, almost dangerously. He was very worried that Peter would say something stupid and confirm Remus' suspicions that people wouldn't want to be friends with him if they knew what he was. "There's nothing to be afraid of. It's just Remus, he hasn't changed over night. You should trust your friend enough to know he's not like they describe werewolves. You shouldn't believe everything you hear Peter, people who write books don't always know best." With that he went down to breakfast, hoping Peter would join them soon. He didn't want him to be a problem.
Remus was chatting merrily with Sirius at breakfast. He was still a bit pale with the shock of it all, but he also seemed very happy. James joined them, and that morning they had the best breakfast in ages. James held his breath as Peter approached the table. As always, he was a loose cannon. James breathed a sigh of relief as Peter sat down next to him and smiled at Remus. "You're right." Was all he said to him, and James felt more warmly to Peter at that moment than he had in a long time.
What little was left of the year disappeared almost immediately. Before they knew it, trunks were packed, rooms were empty and animals were hooting, hissing and croaking in their cages. They had their exam results; James was pleasantly surprised to find he'd passed everything with very high marks. He was torn between sadness at leaving the place where he'd had more fun than he'd ever had in his life, and happiness that he'd soon be seeing his parents and his wonderful little sister again. At breakfast on the last day, James, Sirius and Remus had snuck down to the kitchen, and while Sirius was distracting the house elves Remus and James had slipped fizzing whizzbees in the sausages and before they knew it, people were levitating all over the room. Professor Dumbledore included. His eyes twinkled in James' direction. He smiled innocently back. He was also levitating, it would have looked too suspicious if they were the only ones still in their seats.
Dumbledore muttered an incantation, created no doubt, to counter this particular phenomenon. It can't have been the first time this had happened (but probably not on such a grand scale).
On the train, the boys hurried to find an empty compartment. They wanted to discuss Remus' problem and what they could do about it. Sirius looked uncharacteristically serious as he asked Remus to tell them about his affliction and any ways they could help to make it more bearable.
"Well, every month Madame Pomfrey takes me to the Whomping Willow and the shrieking shack in Hogsmeade. You know the screams and howls the villagers have been hearing recently? I made them. The transformation is very painful, and because there are no humans to bite, I bite and scratch myself instead." He sounded very miserable. "No human can go anywhere near me while I'm like that. I'm a monster. I don't think there's anything you can do to help me."
"No human eh?" Sirius said. What was he talking about? "Look, I think I've had an idea, but I'm not sure if it'll work, so I won't tell you about it just now because I don't want to get your hopes up. Have a think about it over the summer and I'll tell you when I see you next if I think it's possible. Okay?" James really wanted to know what he had in mind, but he didn't want to get Remus' hopes up either. Remus did seem more cheerful after Sirius' announcement, although that was probably because he had three friends who were willing to do whatever was in their power to help them. James could see he was very grateful. He smiled at Remus, who grinned back.
They passed the rest of the journey quietly. They couldn't really talk anymore because people were running up and down the train and popping in and out of their compartment. Instead they had a few games of exploding snap, and chattered happily about their plans for the holidays. Sirius was going to Greece with his parents to visit a random member of his family, he was quite vague about it, said it was an uncle or something who worked for the Department of International Magical Co-operation in the Ministry of Magic and he had some task or another to do in Greece. Sirius wasn't too clear with the details. Whatever it was, James was sure Sirius would come back with a great tan! Peter was going to France with his parents. He wasn't really looking forward to it though. As far as James knew, he wasn't doing anything special this holiday. Neither was Remus. James suggested they all get together at some point in the holidays.
"Look, if anyone gets bored, you're always welcome at my house. Just send me an owl first." The other boys grinned back at James as the train pulled up in Platform 9 ¾. He waved goodbye to them all as he met his parents and was just about to go when he spotted Lily with her parents and very sulky sister. He caught her eye and smiled. She smiled back, and James got that strange feeling again. That exposed feeling. She knew something.
No, she knew everything!
Thank you for reading. And thank you to all of you who have reviewed. I enjoyed writing this story very much, and there's a sequel that I will be starting to post very shortly so please go on to read that next. It will continue James' story into his second year.