Disclaimer – I don't own Pokemon, if I did Ash and Misty would have been together years ago.
Reasons of the Heart – Deeper Shade of Blue
Misty sat staring out the door hardly paying attention to anything, especially not the art professor who stood at the front of the room calling out their names to find who was present and who wasn't. She had her elbow on the desk as her head rested on her hand, staring at the door as if she was expecting someone to come through it any moment.
"Who are you looking for?" her best friend Melody Kitt.
Misty shrugged in response. She wasn't really looking for anyone she just kind of felt herself draw to the door. Boy was she surprised when someone actually walked through it. Misty immediately looked away as his chocolate brown eyes caught hers and got her heart beat racing.
"Why me?" she sighed as she rested her head on the desk. It was their very first class as college students and Misty had vowed not to let Ash get to her no matter what happened. She just hadn't really expected to find him in her art class.
"It's nice of you to join us Mr. . . " the teacher began quiet annoyed that Ash had disrupted her class with his tardiness.
"Ketchum," Ash finished for her.
"Well why don't you go take the seat next to Miss. Waterflower and next time you can make it a priority not to be late for this class," the teacher suggested.
Misty sat up in her desk at the sound of her name. She glared at him as he made his way to the seat next to her. He gave her a quick 'not-my-fault' smile before settling into his seat.
"And so as not to have any disputes over seating these shall be your seats for the rest of the year," the teacher told her class. "Anyone have a problem with where they're seated?"
Misty stopped herself from raising her hand. She and Melody had got to class early to get these seats. They had made sure they got the perfect seats where they weren't so close that the teacher could watch their every move and not so far that they had trouble paying attention to the lesson. She was not going to give up the seat she had put so much effort into getting just because Ash Ketchum decided to sit next to her.
Melody smiled at how maturely Misty was taking the fact that she had to sit next to Ash. She wasn't even putting her hand up so she could move. Only problem was that it looked like Misty was picturing the pencil in her hands as his neck and it was only seconds away from being snapped into, just like his neck would be if she got the chance.
"Let's start with a simple sketching exercise," the teacher said after the seating arrangements had been organized. "I want you to draw the first thing which comes to your mind. Anything a book, a person whatever you want."
Misty got straight to work on her drawing hoping it would help keep her mind off him. She hoped that he would but sadly things don't always go to plan.
She turned around as she felt a small tap on her shoulder. She was glad to find that it was Parker and not Ash. She had known Parker for about two years now. Violet had married Parkers brother Taylor so they became friends in a way after that. Parker passed her a note with her name on it.
She opened the note expecting it to be details on the party their siblings were throwing next week. It wasn't.
Misty –
I really miss you. Can we talk sometime? There's something important I've got to tell you.
- Ash
Misty scribbled something on the note then told Parker to hand it back to Ash. She pulled her desk a little closer to Melody's so she could put some distant between herself and Ash before she got back to her work.
Ash opened the note that had been handed back to him expecting the worst, which is exactly what he got.
'Not if you were the last person on earth' was written in Misty's dainty handwriting. She hadn't even bothered signing it. Ash could easily understand why. He wouldn't want to talk to him either. He wrote another note anyway and chucked it gently onto her desk.
Misty opened the note anyway even though she knew it was from him. She just couldn't help it. It was like one of those horror movies, you knew something gross was going to happen but you couldn't tear yourself from the screen anyway.
Please Myst. I'm Sorry
- Ash
Misty glared at the note as if it were Ash himself looking up at her through each word. She wrote something on the note then screwed it up and chucked it at Ash's head making sure it got him good and hard.
Ash rubbed his head where Misty's note had struck him then opened the ball of paper to see what she had written.
GO TO HELL!
He could see that Misty wasn't really in a forgiving mode at the moment and decided that it was best to just leave it at that and try again later. He took a quick glance in her direction before getting started on his work.
"Why won't he just leave me alone?" Misty moaned as she and Melody quickly left the class before Ash had the chance to head her off at the door. "I mean when will he get it through that thick skull of his that I hate his guts?"
"Maybe that's because you don't?" Melody suggested.
"Forget I even asked," Misty sighed.
"So how are things going with Misty?" Brock asked as he met Ash on their way to the next class.
"Not well," Ash said recalling the events of his last efforts to get Misty to talk to him.
"I'm guessing that Misty still hates you," Brock said noting the small bruise forming where her note had hit.
"At least it wasn't as embarrassing as last time," Ash sighed as they made their way to their next class.
Misty lay on her bed writing in her diary. Her roommate, Melody, was out at the campus café getting her lunch so Misty had the room to herself.
Dear Diary,
When will he ever give up? He's like one of those stupid Energizer bunnies that just keep coming back for more.
Doesn't he realize that he's only making matters worse? The more I see him, the more it hurts. The more it hurts the angrier I get.
I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to have to second-guess every move I make just in case he's there too. I hate the way he makes me cry when nobody else is looking. I hate all my memories, the ones when were fighting, but mostly the ones where I was happy. I hate knowing that the happiest times in my life will always be those I spent with him.
Most of all I hate loving him. I know I'll always love him, and that no one else will ever come close. I want to be able to move on with my life. I want to forget.
And there's that one part that wants to keep holding on and to forgive him. That's the part that loves him more and more as each day passes. That's the part that makes me cry. The part that won't let me forget.
Misty quickly wiped away the tears, which had begun to well in her eyes before they had a chance to fall. "Damn you, Ash," she sighed. She turned on the radio to her favorite station and tried to relax. She hummed along to the song as it played even though it only brought back more and more memories.
Into each life some rain must fall
I didn't know I would catch it all
The clear skies have gone
And you with them too
It's not the same now without you
I used to say you're so beautiful
But it didn't change a thing at all
There's nowhere to run
Got nowhere to hide
I can't forget you and I've tried, but
I'm a deeper shade of blue
And there's nothing I can do
You're so far, far away
Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me
And I just can't be free
You're so far, far away
You're so far away
Into each life some sun must shine
Well someone else must be getting mine
The days are so empty
Nights are so long
Awaking to find again that you're gone
I used to say you were wonderful
Now I just wonder where you are
It's easy to say memories fade
But I'm still missing you nothings changed and
I'm a deeper shade of blue
And there's nothing I can do
You're so far, far away
Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me
And I just can't be free
You're so far, far away
You're so far away
Summer is over
And all we are is apart
The nights are so cold now
Without you in my heart
I'm a deeper shade of blue
And there's nothing I can do
You're so far, far away
Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me
And I just can't be free
You're so far, far away
I'm a deeper shade of blue
And there's nothing I can do
You're so far, far away
Yeah, I'm a darker shade of me
And I just can't be free
You're so far, far away
You're so far away
('Deeper Shade of Blue' by Steps)
Ash went through his draws looking at all the things he had brought with him to remind him of Misty. His bedside table was littered with several pictures of her. The top draw was full of letters he was always too scared to send. He opened one trying to remember why he never sent them.
Dear Misty,
I think about you constantly. I try to remember why I ever let you go. I need you in my life Misty. You're the reason I battle so hard, everything I do, I do for you and no one else.
But I know that doesn't matter to you any more. I know that you despise me and I understand why. I could win every battle, defeat every master and I still wouldn't matter to you, but I do it anyway.
I do it because I love you.
I wish I could take back every word I ever said to you that hurt you in any way. I wish I could live my life again and I know I would do it differently. I never would have hurt you.
I'm sorry Misty, and I love you.
Yours Sincerely
Ash
Ash sighed and slipped the letter back into his draw. Maybe one day he's tell her. And maybe she would feel the same.
"And maybe pigs will fly," Ash scorned at himself.
~ to be continued ~
I hope this chapter wasn't too terrible. Please review no matter what you think.