Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda. Otherwise, I'd be so rich, um.yeah, I'd be rich.

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Link: *still in Forsaken Fortress* *starts to walk up stairs when a noise sounds* Who's there.! It doesn't happen to be...you! *points at rat*

Rat: Uh, no. I'm just here for comedy relief. Hey, can I have some rupees?

Link: Sure. *tosses rat a silver rupee*

Rat: Thanks! (sucker) *runs off*

Link: *sound comes again* Hey! It sounds like it's coming from one of my many pockets! *reaches into one of his many pockets to find a blue stone*

Tetra: Took you long enough.

Link: *gasp* A t-t-talking stone!!! What does it feel like to be a stone Mr. Stone?

Tetra:.....It's me Tetra you idiot!

Link: Wha? How can you fit in this teeny weeny stone?

Tetra: *sigh* Nevermind. Ok, I kinda missed the little window up there you supposed to go through to rescue your sister. Sooooo, guess you hafta climb up there yourself.

Link: But, that will take forever.

Tetra: Oh well.see ya!

Link: *puts stone back in pocket and starts grumbling, but then notices the spotlights* Huh? A show!!!! I wanna perform!!!!! *runs toward the spotlight but stops short to see a shadow that looks like something* Wha.? *looks up and spots a bokoblin making hand puppets*

Bokoblin: *yelling to Link* Betcha can't guess what this is! *makes a shadow puppet*

Link: Uhhhhhhhh.....OH MY GOD!!!!!! You're so sick!!!!! I shall destroy everyone of these spotlight station thingies right now!!! *dimension hole appears beside Link and then he pulls out a bazooka* *evil grin appears on his face* *his voice changes into Arnold Scharzennager's* Astalavista, baby.*fires rockets at all spotlight station thingies and they blow up along with the bokoblins* MUWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Cool.*goes through the whole fortress defeating everything and crap*

*still inside*

Link: *to Moblin* Hey Mr. Pig Who Walks On His Hind Legs And Wears Clothes And Carries A Scary Looking Spear Around, would you be my bodyguard for the rest of this dungeon? I'll give you a cookie.

Moblin: *frowns at Link* No way.

Link: *sigh* Ok.a cookie AND a muffin.

Moblin: *grins* OK!!!!!!

Link: Ok. Come my loyal servant! *Link and his fellow Moblin go around the fortress defeating more crap until they come to the cell where Aryll is being held* Thanks for being my bodyguard! *kills Moblin*

Moblin: Hey! Where's my cookie and muffin?

Link: *shrugs* oh well.

Moblin: Doh! *disappears in purple smoke*

Aryll: *in cell* took you long enough

Rich Girl: Hurry and get me out of here! I don't think I can take much more of these rupee stealing rats! *same rat from the beginning from Forsaken Fortress shows up in a mini limousine that is the right size for a rat*

Rat: What are you talking bout? We're generous and giving rats! *sees Link about to eat a cookie* Gimme that! *uses an extendable arm reach to grab the cookie from Links hand* What'd I tell ya? *eats cookie* Well bye! *drives off*

Link: ........*breaks down in tears*

Poor Girl: *stealing rupees from rich girls dress* I'm generous and giving too.

Aryll: Well, that sure was random...hey Link, the giant bird is hovering over your head.

Link: Huh? *looks up* Uh.heh heh.want a cookie.?

Giant Bird: *shakes head, then grabs Link*

Link: ......*10 seconds later after realizing the situation* GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Put me down!!!! *giant bird takes Link to the top of Forsaken Fortress* *a man in a dark cloak is up on the boat thingie* Hey, who's that? Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! It's Ganondork!!!!!!

Ganondorf: That's not my name!!!! It's Ganondorf!!!!! *eyes widen then covers his mouth*

Link: Hey! I wasn't supposed to know that till I got to Windfall Island!

Ganondorf: Oh well.throw him into the ocean giant bird thingie.

Giant Bird: *nods head then throws Link far away into the ocean*

Link: Hey! I don't know how to swim! Wait until I get over there I'll- *is too far to be heard* *What Link was about to say* I'll go take a crap on your head and fart in your face and do all sorts of terrible things like that!

*at Windfall island*

Voice: Link! Wake up!

Link: zzzzzzzzz *is sleeping in a boat*

Voice: Wake up you idiot!!!!

Link: zzzzzz.no Grandma.I don't wanna donate my brain.*snort* zzzzzzzzz

Voice: Link! I have honeybuns!

Link: *snort* HONEYBUNS!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHERE???????

Voice: There is none.

Link: Oh.hey who are you anyway?

Voice: I'm the King of Red Lions. *head on the boat turns around*

Link: Gah! Dragonhead! Get it away!

King: ....I'm supposed to help you.

Link: Oh.

King: Ok. I got to tell this boring story you wouldn't really care about. Alright, here's how it goes.*6 hours later* And that's what happened *yawn*

Link: zzzzzzzz.*snort* Huh? Is it over?

King: Yeah. Now go find me a sail.zzzzzzzzzz

Link: Ok.where am I anyway?

King: zzzzzzzzz.Windfall Island.zzzzzzzzzz

Link: Oh.cool.*walks around town looking for a sail when he finds a jail room* What's in here? Goes through door to find a cell* A guy in green clothes iis in there* Who are you?

Person: *jumps up from stool* Why, I'm Tingle Mr. Fairy!

Link: Aren't you that gay dude on Majora's Mask? And why did you call me "Mr. Fairy"?

Tingle: No. And I called you that because you're a fairy!

Link:....k....are you related to that Tingle guy?

Tingle: Yes. And I'm as gay as him!!!!!!!!! Ahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! *opens cell door* Let's make out Mr. Fairy!

Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*breaths* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooo o........*cough* *slashes Tingle back into jail cell making him unconscious* *takes out bazooka and blows the whole jail cell up* Whew.*starts to look for a sail some more until he meets an eskimo*

Eskimo: Dear me, hello! My name is Zunari and I run the Open-Air Shop! And dear me you have the strangest clothes!

Link: Uh-huh.you don't, by any chance, have a sail I could buy.

Zunari: Why yes, yes I do! The price is..80 rupees!

Link:......Give me a gigantic discount on it and I won't hurt you.

Zunari: Dear me, no deal then!

Link: Grrrrrrrrr..*slashes Zunari in half and steals his sail* *goes back to King* Hey King I got the sail!

King: Mmmmmmm.cherry pie.*snort* Huh? Oh, ok.hop in and let's go to Dragon Roost Island then.

Link: Ok. *puts up sail and starts to go to Dragon Roost Island*

---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------- The end of chapter two! Yay!

Link: Uh, Chaos.don't put in that Tingle guy in later chapters please.

Ultimatechaos: Yeah, suuuuuuuurrre *evil grin appears on face*