Disclaimer – I do not own Pokemon, if I do by some kind of strange freak accident I then disown the current jhoto season with all the Team Rocket crap.
Claimer – I do however own most of the minor characters, all costume designs (even though their just descriptions of what I have down on paper) and Davison University. Yay me!
Reasons of the Heart – Lat Goodbye
Dear Diary,
Why dose he have to be so perfect?
He's absolutely flawless. I try so hard to hate him, try to find a flaw in his perfect existence, try to find something there to despise, but it's hopeless. The harder I try to find something to hate, the more I find to love.
I try to hate how dense he is, but then I think about how cute he looks whenever he's confused. I try to hate that goofy grin of his, but then I remember all the times he made me laugh because of it. I even tried to hate that stupid cap of his that he always wore, but even such a simple thing like that has memories attached to it of the times when I would steal it.
Memories flow through me as if they were the blood sustaining my life, each one filled with the same love and adoration for the boy with the chocolate brown eyes as the next and even more for the man he has become.
It seems that the only thing I can hate that has anything to do with him is the fact that I don't hate him, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all. I hate myself for loving him and even more for hating the fact that I do.
Why did I ever go and do that? Why did I have to fall in love? Love is for fools, for people who don't know what they're doing and just let themselves believe in some chemical reaction that's making them feel this way.
It seems lately that I'm running out of reasons. Reasons to cry, and more importantly, reasons not to. Reasons to love, and reasons to hate.
That can't be right, love isn't supposed to exist. Love is supposed to be something that you read in fairytales or something we dream about as children as we ride away on a white horse with our arms wrapped around the handsome prince.
Princes and princesses their not supposed to be in real life, but it seems that even they exist because that's the only description I can find that will ever fit Ash so closely. He is my Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet to a faraway land where love does exist.
What am I thinking? Love isn't real and neither are princes. And most definitely nobody is perfect, not even Ash Ketchum poster boy of perfection. To bad I don't believe it, the only flaw I see is his lack of one.
Love is just one big fat cliché. It cries, it drowns, it starves, and it bleeds just like every other living organism. It gives you wings, it plays games, its a flower, it's a crime and it seems fools are the only ones dumb enough to fall for it.
So I guess that's my future. Doomed to be his fool because that's the price I pay for falling in love. But that's not problem, I don't care that I'm his fool and I don't regret it not even for a second.
And that's what has sent my life into this downward spiral.
You know what? I just don't care anymore. If love is what makes the world go round, then screw it. Let the whole world just stop and then maybe it will give my life the chance to stop spinning out of control.
Who needs eternal happiness anyway? I'm doing just great without him. I don't need anyone, not Melody, not my sisters and certainly not him. So just screw him and most of all, screw love.
Misty looked up as she finished writing the last few words of her entry. She sighed as she read over everything that she had just written.
It wasn't that she wanted to hate Ash, quite the contrary; she wanted to love him more than anything in the world. But it wasn't her pride that stopped her; it was her heart. She didn't understand how something so right could be cause her so much pain that she almost wished it was wrong.
She always thought that if you loved something enough, and you wanted it with all your heart, it would just fall into place almost magically. Now she realized that it didn't and all the pain she felt as each memory stirred within was just a constant reminder of that little detail that she wished she could forget.
All she wanted to do was just let go. She wanted to fly away and leave all her worries behind. To blow a kiss and say goodbye.
(A/N: You may recognize this song from the Irish pop stars. If so I would just like to say that you really need to revise your choice in music/TV shows)
Where do I go?
What do I do?
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear
There are no more tears for me to cry
Now its time that I said my last goodbye
People will promise things
And swear they'll be true
But don't always fool yourself
Like all the others do
I have been guilty
Thinking this was a dream
When all of the time
It wasn't quite what it seemed
Half of my memories belong to you
Remember half of your friends are mine
Can you tell me?
Where do I go?
What do I do?
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear
There are no more tears for me to cry
Now it's time that I said my last goodbye
I said my last goodbye
No more tears for me to cry
From time to time
I hear them whisper your name
Just when I think I'm over you
It brings it all back again
I hope you're happy with the choices you made
Your love was a gamble
That's the price I paid
But half of my heart still wants you back
Remember half of your life was mine
So won't you tell me?
Where do I go?
What do I do?
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear
There are no more tears for me to cry
Now it's time that I said my last goodbye
Where do I go?
What do I do?
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear
There are no more tears for me to cry
Now it's time that I said my last goodbye
I hope you're regretting
Letting me go
Now its time to say goodbye
I've got no more tears to cry
There's something that I've got to know
Baby
Where do I go?
What do I do?
When everywhere I turn it just reminds me of you
Now that it's clear
There are no more tears for me to cry
Now it's time that I said my last goodbye
('Last goodbye' Girlthing)
Ash opened his eyes cautiously hoping that last night wasn't just a cruel dream. All he needed was just one little thing that could tell him that it really happened, that last night he really had kissed Misty.
Ash dressed quickly and headed downstairs.
"Hey," Parker said as he saw Ash emerge from the stairs.
"Heard you had a good time last night," Brock said smiling to himself.
"Meaning?" Ash asked unable to hide the hope eminent in his voice.
"Shit don't tell me she was drunk again," Brock sighed. "I thought you guys went to a diner, not a bar."
"It wasn't a dream," ash gaped contently.
"Is that a yes or a no for the drunk thing?" Parker asked.
"She was sober," Ash said smiling to himself.
"Will didn't serve your drinks or anything?" Brock asked cautiously.
"Not that I know of," Ash replied unable to wipe the smile off his face.
"How'd it end?"
Everyone turned to look at Tracey (A/N: Tracey is gay) holding back the laughter that threatened to escape.
"What?" Tracey asked.
And that clinched it. Within seconds all three guys were practically rolling on the floor as they collapsed into a fit of laughter. They all knew that Tracey was that way inclined, but did he really have to be so obvious?
"It just ended," Ash shrugged as he finally got control over himself.
"That's a good sign," Tracey told them. "She didn't push you off which means that she didn't have anything against you kissing her."
"I already knew that," Ash told him.
"And what makes you so sure of that?" Tracey asked defensively.
"Because she kissed me back," Ash replied smiling as he turned and walked out the door.
Misty began her descent to the kitchen after checking the halls twice. She didn't want to run into any of her sorority sisters and especially not Melody and Sabrina who had suddenly appeared from nowhere at the bottom of the stairs.
'How do they do that?' Misty thought to herself as she searched for a possible escape route realizing quickly that there wasn't one. She found it rather confusing how whenever she wanted them around they were nowhere to be found and when she wanted to get out of the house without either of them asking her any questions about a certain dark eyed dark-haired Pokemon Master she just couldn't escape them.
"Hey," she said cautiously, "I was just going out," she explained as she walked down. The two moved closer together blocking her only way out. "What's up?" Misty asked nervously knowing that the topic of discussion was obvious and that the discussion was going to happen either way and that she may as well get it over and done with sooner rather than later.
"Nothing," Melody said as she and Sabrina each grabbed one of Misty arms and began leading her to the lounge. "We just wanted to have a little discussion with our best friend," Melody said innocently looking up at her friend.
"You two are way too obvious," Misty replied pulling away and trying to get away.
Melody and Sabrina quickly moved to block her again.
"Please Misty," Sabrina asked pleadingly filling her eyes with fake tears and making her lip quiver.
"You are way too good at this," Misty said as she finally gave in and let her friends lead her to the lounge. "So what do you want to know?" Misty asked as all three settled into the couch.
"Just one question," Sabrina told her.
Melody nodded. "What was it like?"
"Is that all . . ." Misty began until she realized that one hundred questions weren't nearly as bad as this one. They could have asked her anything but no they asked her that.
'If you have no option but the truth,' Misty thought to herself, 'then at least be vague.' Misty quickly pulled together a worthy sentence in her mind that answered the question without giving too much away. 'Be very vague,' Misty added silently.
"I've had worse," she replied in a bored tone biting her lip nervously as she tried to hold back the small smile forming on her lips.
"That's all you have to say?" Melody questioned taken aback by Misty's sorry excuse for a response. Melody gawked as she watched her friend shrug her shoulders nonchalantly. "I don't believe it," Melody gaped, "the boy you've basically been in love with since the moment you met him kisses you and all you have to say is 'I've had worse'. I just don't understand it. You have to have more to say than that."
"She does have a point," Sabrina agreed turning to Misty.
Misty sighed. "I have had worse," Misty argued immediately receiving two very disbelieving looks from the other girls. "Like every other kiss leading up to that one perfect kiss," Misty added sheepishly.
I knew it," Melody said proudly jumping from her seat.
"Now please don't start going on about me and Ash being perfect for each other because it didn't mean anything," Misty pleaded with her two best friends. "It was just one kiss, one really really good kiss . . ." Misty trailed off dreamily then shock her head as she tried to push those thoughts out of her mind. "But it was just a kiss," Misty continued, "not a marriage proposal."
"Misty you're in love with the guy," Sabrina reasoned, "it might as well have been a proclamation of love for all you care and it would still have the same effect. You hear birds singing, you find the scent of fresh blossoms always hanging in the air, there's a constant smile on your face, racing heart and rosy cheeks. Your breath catches in the back of your throat and your stomach fills with butterflies just from thinking about him.
"You're in love girl," Sabrina told her softly, "and this time there's no getting out of it."
"Well maybe I don't want to be in love," Misty said angrily as she got up tears welling in her eyes.
"You don't mean that," Sabrina said.
"Yes I do," Misty told her. "Everyone says that love is like some precious gift that only brings happiness, but they're wrong. This is love," Misty sobbed, "and nobody realizes just how painful it is, more so than any of you could ever imagine. I'm just trying to be careful. I don't want to let him break my heart again."
With that Misty fell back down to the couch and began to cry into her friends shoulder.
"Your heart understands what your head can not yet even concieve," Melody said quietly her voice just above a whisper. "Trust your heart, it whispers so you have to listen carefully."
~ to be continued ~
I hope you liked that one. I just want to apologize to everyone who likes Tracey for making him gay especially if you think he's straight. I myself just always presumed he was but then I think basically anyone I don't specially like is either gay or bi and that a cartoon character is inadequate (Scott Summers from X-men Evolution had to mention it Krysanthia).
I also want to change one of the minor characters. Firstly Stephanie is not short as was previously mentioned at the end of the last chapter and her boyfriend is now Jansen Ackles (some dick from dark angle so she so better be happy with that. I myself would have chose the Star wars guy I don't see how anyone could choose a clone over some way cuter evil tortured soul Jedi person thingy).
Well please review and don't be afraid to say what you think.