I am going to die. The pain in my chest is getting sharper and I can feel
my lungs heaving as they gasp for air. The car that hit me didn't stop. It
kept going although the driver knew I was badly hurt. That poor man will
suffer for the rest of his life because he will know that he killed someone
when he was younger.
The ambulance has arrived now. The noise of the sirens is blaring through my head. It feels like my skull is being split into two separate pieces, with thousands of hammers slamming against it.
My thoughts turn to Bart and how he will cope without me. I hold no doubts that he will enjoy the best time of his life without me breathing down his neck. He'll be absolutely delighted. I can only hope that he doesn't say something insensitive to poor Cathy. I know I like to pretend that I make a difference in his life but I don't. I wish every day that I did but Bart just doesn't want to know me. I truly hope that one day he'll stop giving Cathy so many problems but I don't hold out much hope. Perhaps my death will give him the shake that he needs. I can only pray. I know Cathy thinks that we hate each other but I never told anyone how I really feel about Bart. I've practically raised that young man and I love him as I would my own son. My love would always go unacknowledged but I never could control my heart. The last dream I will ever have is that Bart does feel some sort of shock from my loss and really begins to do something with his life. I have to believe that it will happen someday, if now tomorrow.
Jory has been my true reward. He's known that truth about me as long as Bart has but he doesn't care. He truly believes in me in just the way I wanted to be believed in. I feel so sorry that he has lost all power in his legs but I know it doesn't matter anymore. Ever since he got over Melody he hasn't cared that he isn't what he used to be. Well, certainly not as much. Toni doesn't see his disability anymore. I've known that for some time and I think Jory is beginning to realise that as well. He has done well in his life. He always will.
It's getting harder and harder to breathe now. My chest is getting tighter and I feel faint from the loss of blood. I'm being hoisted up onto a stretcher and into the ambulance now. The ambulance men have stopped the blood now but the pain continues. It feels like it will never go away. Death cannot come quickly enough for me, even if it means I will never see my beloved family again.
Cindy is the next to jump into my thoughts. She's young and beautiful and now she's mature enough that she knows how to handle Bart. I'm not worried about her in the slightest. She'll be absolutely fine. She's been lucky enough to have been brought up in a relatively stable environment and she's come off the better for it. I know she scares Cathy with her behaviour sometimes but Cathy forgets that times are different now. Cindy will be fine. I worry more about the twins. I know Jory and Toni would do anything for them and to protect them but if Bart insists on taking them out to the old chapel when their parents have turned away, then I know that no one will stop him. Again I only hope the best for Bart, Darren and Deirdre.
Lastly I think about my Catherine Doll. It's been years since I last called her that but I think we both forgot how much it suits her and how many memories are behind that name. Perhaps the memories were the reason we forgot it. My memories of the original Foxworth Hall are distant and shaded now. Everyone associated with that dreary house is now dead and soon the last of the imprisoned dolls will follow. I say this with certainty because I'm sure that Cathy will not last long without me. I'm well aware of how strong and resilient she is but she's come to rely on me more than she ever has before and much more than she ever wanted to. Cathy never wanted to give in to our love but in the end she realised that what we have is special and rare. Cathy herself is special and rare. She doesn't believe it when I tell her but I hope she remembers the wonderful things I said about her because I truly meant every single one of them. My dear, sweet dancing doll. She didn't deserve any of the pain she suffered, none of us did. It's just the way life works for some people.
I can't hear my heartbeat anymore or my pulse. I'm not so scared anymore. I can see Cory and Carrie now. They're coming towards me, smiling and laughing. I suddenly feel so much better. It's been so many years since I've seen Carrie smile like that and even longer since I've seen Cory's wonderful face. They're waving now and I can see them coming closer. Soon the Dresden Dolls will be reunited in death and no one will ever make us suffer again.
The ambulance has arrived now. The noise of the sirens is blaring through my head. It feels like my skull is being split into two separate pieces, with thousands of hammers slamming against it.
My thoughts turn to Bart and how he will cope without me. I hold no doubts that he will enjoy the best time of his life without me breathing down his neck. He'll be absolutely delighted. I can only hope that he doesn't say something insensitive to poor Cathy. I know I like to pretend that I make a difference in his life but I don't. I wish every day that I did but Bart just doesn't want to know me. I truly hope that one day he'll stop giving Cathy so many problems but I don't hold out much hope. Perhaps my death will give him the shake that he needs. I can only pray. I know Cathy thinks that we hate each other but I never told anyone how I really feel about Bart. I've practically raised that young man and I love him as I would my own son. My love would always go unacknowledged but I never could control my heart. The last dream I will ever have is that Bart does feel some sort of shock from my loss and really begins to do something with his life. I have to believe that it will happen someday, if now tomorrow.
Jory has been my true reward. He's known that truth about me as long as Bart has but he doesn't care. He truly believes in me in just the way I wanted to be believed in. I feel so sorry that he has lost all power in his legs but I know it doesn't matter anymore. Ever since he got over Melody he hasn't cared that he isn't what he used to be. Well, certainly not as much. Toni doesn't see his disability anymore. I've known that for some time and I think Jory is beginning to realise that as well. He has done well in his life. He always will.
It's getting harder and harder to breathe now. My chest is getting tighter and I feel faint from the loss of blood. I'm being hoisted up onto a stretcher and into the ambulance now. The ambulance men have stopped the blood now but the pain continues. It feels like it will never go away. Death cannot come quickly enough for me, even if it means I will never see my beloved family again.
Cindy is the next to jump into my thoughts. She's young and beautiful and now she's mature enough that she knows how to handle Bart. I'm not worried about her in the slightest. She'll be absolutely fine. She's been lucky enough to have been brought up in a relatively stable environment and she's come off the better for it. I know she scares Cathy with her behaviour sometimes but Cathy forgets that times are different now. Cindy will be fine. I worry more about the twins. I know Jory and Toni would do anything for them and to protect them but if Bart insists on taking them out to the old chapel when their parents have turned away, then I know that no one will stop him. Again I only hope the best for Bart, Darren and Deirdre.
Lastly I think about my Catherine Doll. It's been years since I last called her that but I think we both forgot how much it suits her and how many memories are behind that name. Perhaps the memories were the reason we forgot it. My memories of the original Foxworth Hall are distant and shaded now. Everyone associated with that dreary house is now dead and soon the last of the imprisoned dolls will follow. I say this with certainty because I'm sure that Cathy will not last long without me. I'm well aware of how strong and resilient she is but she's come to rely on me more than she ever has before and much more than she ever wanted to. Cathy never wanted to give in to our love but in the end she realised that what we have is special and rare. Cathy herself is special and rare. She doesn't believe it when I tell her but I hope she remembers the wonderful things I said about her because I truly meant every single one of them. My dear, sweet dancing doll. She didn't deserve any of the pain she suffered, none of us did. It's just the way life works for some people.
I can't hear my heartbeat anymore or my pulse. I'm not so scared anymore. I can see Cory and Carrie now. They're coming towards me, smiling and laughing. I suddenly feel so much better. It's been so many years since I've seen Carrie smile like that and even longer since I've seen Cory's wonderful face. They're waving now and I can see them coming closer. Soon the Dresden Dolls will be reunited in death and no one will ever make us suffer again.