By: Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay for everyone.
Disclaimer: I only own the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: Special THANKS to all my reviewers, especially my first ;) (thank you, Avid, for all your help and support.)
(Luke's. Upstairs. Jess and Rory are kissing on the couch.)
Rory: (pulling away) Okay. We have to stop now.
Jess: Why?
Rory: Because I'm supposed to be doing my homework, and you promised you wouldn't distract me.
Jess: Well if I told you I intended to fully distract you , would you have come up?
Rory: Very funny. Now seriously, I have to get back to work. I have a test tomorrow and I need to concentrate.
Jess: You care too much about that stuff.
Rory: Yeah, I do. And if you care about me, you should care about the things I care about and you should want me to study so I can do well on this test.
Jess: Fine. Go ahead.
Rory: Thank you.
Jess: You're welcome.
Rory: Don't you have homework to do?
Jess: As a matter of speaking.
Rory: Well, get to it.
(Rory picks up her book and begins to read. Jess pulls out a deck of cards and shuffles them. He puts them down, reaches for Rory's chin, turns it towards him, and kisses her. She drops the book, and they continue kissing.)
(Downstairs. Lorelai walks into the diner and to the counter where Luke is already pouring her coffee.)
Lorelai: Thank you. Have you seen Rory?
Luke: She's upstairs.
Lorelai: What is she doing upstairs?
Luke: Studying with Jess.
Lorelai: And he says that with a straight face.
Luke: What?
Lorelai: They're not studying.
Luke: As a matter of fact, they are. I've been checking in on them.
Lorelai: Let me ask you something. When you checked on them, did you ever find them reading their books upside down?
Luke: What kind of an idiot do you think I am?
(Rory and Jess come downstairs.)
Jess: So just remember your amphoteric ions and you should be okay.
Rory: Right. Okay. Thanks. (to Lorelai.) Hey, mom. We were just studying upstairs.
(Luke nudges Lorelai)
Jess: (to Luke) I'm out.
Luke: What do you mean you're out? You've hardly worked. I gave you a twenty minute break, and you took thirty.
Jess: Relax, Luke. I'll be back.
Luke: Okay.
Jess: Tonight.
Luke: What?!
Jess: Don't worry. I'll make it in time for closing. (leaves.)
(Rory smiles at Luke sympathetically, then looks at Lorelai who has been giving her a searching stare.)
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Well, it's been a while since I've been in high school, but I'm pretty sure ions are part of chemistry, and you're not taking chemistry this year. (she shoots a quick sneering glance at Luke.)
Rory: Well, no but, chemistry makes its way into a lot of subjects. I mean, look at biology. You have biochemistry.
Lorelai: You're not taking biology either.
Rory: No, but I am taking economics.
Lorelai: Chemistry in economics?
Rory: Yeah. Ecochemistry.
Lorelai: Ecochemistry?
Rory: It's this new, experimental thing, but Chilton wants us to learn it.
Lorelai: Okay. (Lorelai finishes off her coffee.) All right. Let's go. (They get up to leave.) Oh, and to answer your question, Luke. The kind that makes good coffee. Thanks. (she puts the money on the counter and leaves)
(Later. Gilmore Residence. Lorelai and Rory are on the couch on the verge of tears.)
Rory: Why do we watch this movie when it always makes us cry?
Lorelai: Because we laugh too much at real life.
Rory: Poetic justice, then. Got it. (Lorelai hands her a box of Kleenex from which she takes.)
Lorelai: I can't watch this anymore.
Rory: Neither can I.
Lorelai: You know, maybe we should stop it. I mean, tomorrow we have dinner at grandma's and two evenings of tragedy leaves a lot to make up for on Saturday.
Rory: I'm all for stopping it. (she clicks the remote control to stop the movie.)
Lorelai: Thank you.
Rory: So what now?
Lorelai: Let's see what they're giving.
(they flick through channels and settle on a Dean Martin-Jerry Lewis flick.)
Lorelai: Ah. The world is right again.
Rory: Yeah. But you know, actually, I should probably get to bed.
Lorelai: Why? It's early.
Rory: Yeah, but I have a test first period tomorrow, so I want to be well rested.
Lorelai: But if that movie is the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep you're going to have bad dreams and it won't be a restful sleep at all.
Rory: It's Dead Poet's Society we're talking about, not the Exorcist.
Lorelai: And did you learn nothing from it besides the fact that green tights didn't work for Peter Pan and they haven't worked for anyone since?
Rory: Let's see. I learned that Walt Whitman can arouse a lot out of impressionable young men even after his death.
Lorelai: Ugh.
Rory: Oh, and it has reaffirmed my appreciation for Robin Williams. I kind of lost it after one too many episodes of Mork and Mindy.
Lorelai: You're hopeless. Go to bed.
Rory: Fine. I'll watch ten minutes.
Lorelai: Didn't I tell you to go to bed?
Rory: But now I want to watch Jerry Lewis.
Lorelai: No. You have a test tomorrow. You have to think about your education.
Rory: This is educational. A study in French culture.
Lorelai: Well, you should have thought about that before you said you wanted to go to bed.
Rory: But I don't want to go to bed now.
Lorelai: But now you have to.
Rory: Fine. But what if I go to my room now and shoot myself? Think about the bad dreams that will give you.
Lorelai: I took the water out of the pistol.
Rory: Drats. Well, good night then. (gets up to leave.)
Lorelai: Hey, where are you going?
Rory: To bed.
Lorelai: Why?
Rory: Let's not start this again. (she sits back down on the couch and the two watch TV.)
(Next day. Independence Inn.)
Lorelai: (on the phone) Really?…Wow…Ten years?…They must have thrown some wild parties there…Okay well, if that's what it's going to take, we'll see what happens…Bye. (hangs up)
Sookie: (coming over with a menu) How does this look to you?
Lorelai: (looking at the menu) Like the Tuesday special's board in heaven.
Sookie: Really? See, 'cause that was the exact effect I was going for.
Lorelai: Why all out this week?
Sookie: Well, the Culinary Arts Connoisseurs' Association is stopping here on their way to judge a contest in Stamford, and I thought I'd give them a memorable experience at Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Well, that will certainly be memorable.
Sookie: Great. I'm so excited. You know, this could be a great start for our Inn, to have a plaque from the Culinary Arts Connoisseurs' Association recognizing Fran's Inn's cuisine as one of the most exquisite in the town of Stars Hollow.
Lorelai: Well, considering the competition right now is Luke, Al, and you, I don't know how much you want to make of that.
Sookie: Hey, why aren't you as excited about this as I am?
Lorelai: Um, okay. Maybe you better sit down.
Sookie: Uh oh.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: Um, okay. (Looks for a place to sit. Michel occupies the only chair nearby.) Michel, could I borrow this chair for a second?
Michel: With me on it? Because that is the only way it comes.
Sookie: Do I have to remind you that I'm pregnant?
Michel: Milk that any longer and there won't be any left for the baby. (He gets up and leaves. Sookie sits down.)
Sookie: (to Lorelai) Okay. I'm ready.
Lorelai: Okay, well, I got an interesting call from the contractors. The estimate…
Sookie: Yeah?
Lorelai: Doesn't look good.
Sookie: It needs that much work?
Lorelai: The plumbing alone has been in need of redoing for at least ten years.
Sookie: Wow.
Lorelai: It's going to cost a lot of money. Not to mention all the miscellaneous things we're going to need to get started.
Sookie: So is this doable a lot or impossible a lot?
Lorelai: Well, doable if they ever find that mythic tree money grows on.
Sookie: What are we going to do? Fran already left us the place. We had that whole naming ceremony. People are going to be expecting a Fran's Inn.
Lorelai: Well, technically, it does already say Fran's Inn.
Sookie: So we're just going to leave it an abandoned building that says Fran's Inn?
Lorelai: I don't know. It is a good piece of real estate. It's just unfortunately one we can't use.
Sookie: Maybe there's a way we can get the money. We can do some sort of fund-raiser.
Lorelai: Well, what did you have in mind?
Sookie: I don't know. We can raffle a date off with a handsome eligible bachelor.
Lorelai: Even if I were remotely convinced that Michel would go for it, and I don't think anyone else would.
Sookie: We don't have to use Michel. How about Luke?
Lorelai: Luke has nothing to do with the Inn.
Sookie: No, but he's a good friend, and I'm sure if he knew that you were in trouble and needed some help, he'd do anything to lend a hand.
Lorelai: Okay. Whatever. We're not going to raffle dates anyway.
Sookie: Well, how about a bake sale? I can do all the baking.
Lorelai: Sookie, we're raising money to open an Inn, not to buy Little League uniforms.
Sookie: So what are we going to do?
Lorelai: I don't think there's anything we can do.
Sookie: Maybe we can get a loan.
Lorelai: I couldn't even get a loan to save my house from termites.
Sookie: Jackson and I can get it.
Lorelai: No. You're about to have a baby. You don't need that kind of thing over your head.
Sookie: We can't just pass up on our Inn. We've been planning this for years and it just started becoming real.
Lorelai: I know. (a melancholy silence. Then Lorelai picks up) Well, you know, let me talk to a few people. Maybe there's a cheaper way to get everything done.
Sookie: I hope so. (Lorelai puts her arm around Sookie and they walk together to the kitchen)
(Chilton. The students are leaving the classroom. Paris catches up with Rory. Louise and Madeline are right behind her.)
Paris: So, Rory, how do you think you did?
Rory: Okay.
Paris: Okay as in good, or okay as in so-so?
Rory: Paris, we've been through this before, and that's all I'm going to say.
Louise: Well, I'm just glad it's over with and that it's Friday.
Madeline: Me too. Say, what are you guys doing over the weekend?
Louise: I'm seeing Steve this weekend.
Madeline: What about you, Rory? Do you have plans?
Rory: Um, yeah, I do. Why?
Madeline: This is the first weekend in eons that I have nothing to do.
Paris: Pick up a book.
Madeline: Maybe we can do something this weekend, Paris? (to Louise, in a slight whisper) Did I really say that? (Louise nods.)
Paris: I'm sorry, but I have plans this weekend.
Madeline and Louise: Yeah?
Paris: I'm going to Princeton to hear a lecture on bioethics and national policy.
Madeline and Louise: (rolling their eyes) Oh.
Louise: (to Madeline) I'll see if Steve has a friend who's free this weekend. You can come with us.
Madeline: Thanks.
Louise: Let's go ask him now. (they leave in the other direction.)
Rory: So where did you hear about this Princeton lecture?
Paris: Jamie told me. We were actually arguing about cloning the other day so he thought I'd be interested.
Rory: You two seem to be talking a lot.
Paris: Not really. He called the other day by accident and we got to talking. Then he called me yesterday to tell me about the lecture.
Rory: Huh.
Paris: He's not even going to be there, all right?
Rory: What? I wasn't saying anything.
Paris: Yeah right. (Paris speeds on ahead.)
(Later. Luke's. Lorelai enters and immediately goes to the counter, settling down her purse. Luke comes over.)
Luke: So I had a chance to go over and take a look at the place. I can do all the surface work, but there's also a lot of underground work that needs to be done. It's still going to cost you quite a bit. I know some guys who can do it for cheaper, but we're talking knocking off from an already inflated price. That's the business nowadays.
Lorelai: So in comparison to the estimate they gave me?
Luke: Knock off about 35 percent.
Lorelai: That's still a lot. And it's a lot to ask of you to do all that work.
Luke: Well, I don't mind that. That's not the issue. The question is can you afford that?
Lorelai: No.
Luke: So what are you going to do?
Lorelai: I don't know yet. I guess I have to think of something. (smiles weakly)
Luke: If there's any way I can help, let me know.
Lorelai: You can help with some of that coffee.
Luke: Right away.
(Gilmore Residence. Rory is approaching the door.)
Babette: Hun, could I ask you a favor?
Rory: Did Morey get stuck in the sofa bed again?
Babette: Oh no, no. It's just those damn autumn leaves. You know I love them but I hate them in the fall. Morey was going to rake them but he threw out his back, you heard. I'd do it myself if I could but Lord knows I can't. And tomorrow morning I have some people coming over to look at my pumpkins, and you can barely see them under all these leaves. You know I'd really hate to ask you, but I'll pay…
Rory: No, it's not a problem. Just let me make a quick phone call and I'll be right over.
Babette: Thanks, hun. Ain't you the sweetest.
(Later. Lorelai comes in.)
Lorelai: Rory! (checks Rory's room.) Rory!
(Rory comes is through the front door. Her face, hands, and clothes are dirty.)
Lorelai: You know I'm all for the grunge look but I don't think Richard and Emily Gilmore would approve.
Rory: I was helping Babette with something. I have ten minutes to shower and change.
Lorelai: Can I help with anything?
Rory: Well, you could throw something on these clothes before the stains set in. Oh, and pick me out something to wear. Oh, and throw out anything green or orange in my room.
Lorelai: Got it. Now, go, go. Hurry up. (Lorelai goes to Rory's room and looks through her closet. She pulls out a green skirt with orange floral designs and smiles mischievously.)
(Hartford Gilmore Residence. Lorelai and Rory are walking to the door.)
Rory: I'd hate to bring it up, but you could ask grandma and grandpa.
Lorelai: We're not going there again. This cannot happen every time there's not enough money for something. I refuse to be indebted to them any further.
Rory: But this isn't just about you. There's Sookie and Jackson and the embryo that's inside her and Michel. I mean, Mia is already looking to sell the Independence. So if there's no Fran's Inn, where are you guys going to go?
Lorelai: I don't know, but I'll figure something out. But let's get this straight, we are not asking them. We're not even going to tell them anything that's going on with the Inn. If they ask about it, it's 'what inn? Fran's in? No, I think she's going to be out for a very long time.' Got that?
Rory: Yes, ma'am.
Lorelai: Good.
(At the dinner table.)
Emily: So I just decided to redo the entire room. I mean, the money it takes these days just to put in a new fixture, one might as well go the whole way and have them put in new everything. I think it's actually cheaper in the long run.
Richard: That's because you're not the one who sits in the den adding up the bills and writing out the checks.
Emily: I will have you know, Richard, that I am an excellent financier. In my years as the DAR treasurer, our finances had never been in better hands. I do just as much calculating as you do. I know every dollar that comes in and out of this house.
Richard: Yes, because I bring it in to you and you take it out.
Emily: I can't believe you are saying that, Richard?
Richard: Emily, I'm not trying to insult you. The reason I work is so that you can spend money however your heart desires. I've always worked hard so that my family doesn't have to. That is what a man does.
Emily: And I suppose you think a woman just spends frivolously and makes no contribution whatsoever to the household.
Richard: Now, Emily, that is not what I said.
Lorelai: But it came kind of close.
Richard: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Sorry. I'll go back to keeping score.
Emily: Let's just drop this discussion.
Richard: I think that's a very good idea.
Emily: For the time being.
Richard: (clearing his throat.) Well, Rory, how is school?
Rory: The status hasn't changed from when we first got here.
Richard: Excellent. And Lorelai, how are things at the Inn? Did I ask you already?
Lorelai: You did.
Emily: No he didn't.
Lorelai: Didn't he?
Emily: He didn't.
Lorelai: He didn't?
Emily: No. He didn't.
Lorelai: (to Richard) Guess you didn't.
Richard: That's right. I didn't. How is it?
Lorelai: Great. Couldn't be better.
Richard: Now, is this the old Inn we're talking about or the new one.
Lorelai: It's a toss up.
Richard: When do you project the grand opening?
Lorelai: Um, I don't really know. You know how these contractors are. Everything is two weeks.
Richard: He told you two weeks?
Emily: The upstairs bathroom is going to take longer than two weeks.
Lorelai: No, well, he didn't exactly say two weeks, but you know, The Money Pit.
Richard: Well, I never did check to see the inside of the place, but if it really is a money pit, it is definitely going to take more than two weeks.
Lorelai: No, dad, it's a movie.
Richard: What's that? A moving Inn?
Lorelai: No. The Money Pit.
Richard: You're saying the Inn is a moving money pit.
Lorelai: It's not a money pit. The Money Pit is a movie.
Richard: I was asking you about the Inn, Lorelai.
Lorelai: I gather that now. The Inn is doing fine, dad. I don't know when it's going to open, but as soon as I do, I will let you know.
Emily: Honestly, Lorelai, it's so hard to talk to you sometimes.
Lorelai: Well, just so you know, there'll be no hard feelings if you ever decide to give up the effort.
Emily: Now what is that supposed to mean?
Rory: You know, grandpa, I just remembered, there was something I didn't tell you about school today. You know, the funniest thing happened. (Richard and Emily look at her) Um, yeah, it was really funny. (she looks to Lorelai for help.) Madeline wanted to hang out with Paris for the weekend. (she fakes a laugh terribly.) Yeah, I guess you had to be there.
Richard: And how is Paris?
Rory: She's doing well. She's going to Princeton this weekend to hear a lecture on bioethics.
Richard: Wonderful. Though you know, there are some excellent lectures going on right here in Connecticut this weekend. I was planning on going to one myself. There's an incredibly interesting fellow speaking at Yale on Keynesian economics in the 21st century. How would you like to join me, Rory?
Rory: Wow, grandpa, that sounds great, but I have plans this weekend.
Richard: Worth passing up a lecture by…Emily, do you remember the man's name?
Emily: So I don't know anything about the finances of this house, but I'm supposed to know the names of economists lecturing at Yale.
Lorelai: It doesn't matter what his name is. She already said she can't go.
Richard: I just thought it'd be a great opportunity for her. A chance for her to get a feel of the campus…
Lorelai: And why would that be a great opportunity for her if she's going to Harvard?
Emily: Oh let's not start this again.
Rory: Okay, everybody, hold up. Mom, lectures are great opportunities in general. Grandpa, I will go with you. Grandma, grandpa really didn't mean to say that you were just a ditz with a credit card…
Emily: Who said anything about ditz?
Lorelai: Apparently, Dad did.
Richard; I most certainly did not.
Rory: (sighs) The shrimp are really good.
(Gilmore Residence.)
Lorelai: I can't believe you're going to this.
Rory: It's a great opportunity.
Lorelai: What is that. A broken record?
Rory: I was just trying to ease the hostility. I mean, that table was brutal and we never even got to religion and politics.
Lorelai: So I guess it's a good thing I didn't feed you my Pope, Democrat, and a Republican joke. Though I have to tell you, the whole Madeline-Paris bit merited some serious tomato throwing.
Rory: I was under pressure. Stand-up is just not my thing.
Lorelai: Apparently, not even sitting down.
Rory: Can we just forget this night ever happened?
Lorelai: We can. Until tomorrow when Grandma and Grandpa are here ready to go take you to Yale, and you remember you actually agreed to go to a Keynes lecture.
Rory: Well, we did study him briefly last week. And it was either that or come up with some reason why I couldn't go.
Lorelai: You could have told them the truth.
Rory: Being…
Lorelai: You had plans.
Rory: Which were…
Lorelai: Going out with…oh.
Rory: Yeah.
Lorelai: You realize you're going to have to tell them eventually. Unless you plan on dumping Jess before graduation.
Rory: I know. I just didn't feel that table needed any more fuel for conflict.
Lorelai: Yeah. I guess. And I thought I had problems.
(phone rings.)
Rory: I'll get that. (she grabs the phone and takes it to her room) Hello.
Lane: Hey. I'm so excited I forgot you had dinner at your grandma's tonight. How was it?
Rory: Nothing much. What's up?
Lane: Well, I found this flyer posted outside the music store. They're looking for a drummer.
Rory: Who's they?
Lane: I don't know. It doesn't say. It just says, 'Drummer Wanted. Looking for percussionist with proficient knowledge in wide range of music to complete our ensemble.'
Rory: Well if they're not talking about you, I don't know who they're talking about.
Lane: This is great, isn't it?
Rory: Exciting.
Lane: So I called and the guy wants to hear me tomorrow at eight.
Rory: Wow. That's great.
Lane: I need an audience, someone besides a stranger there for the only purpose of assessing and critiquing my performance. Miss Patty and Kirk are going to be there, because I needed to borrow her studio to play and for some reason it also comes with Kirk, and it would be great if you could be there.
Rory: Of course I'll be there. What are you going to play?
Lane: Well I have a repertoire of brief segments from the Ramones, Blondie, and the Bangles.
Rory: Nice. (Rory's cell phone rings.) Uh, that's Jess. I'll talk to you later.
Lane: All right. Don't forget about tomorrow.
Rory: I will be there at eight.
Lane: Oh, seven. I'm starting early with a trial run.
Rory: Okay. I'll see you at seven. Bye. (she looks at the ringing cell phone, sighs and flips it open.)
(Next day. Lorelai and Sookie are walking around town.)
Sookie: So Jackson and I were crunching the numbers and this is really not looking good. I'd hate to call more clouds on a rainy day, but babies are really expensive.
Lorelai: I know.
Sookie: But this thing won't be around for about another 8 months.
Lorelai: Sookie, stop it. I don't want you two to worry about this. I have something in the works.
Sookie: You do? What?
Lorelai: Well, I applied for another loan. I figured I might have better luck this time, and now that I already have a relationship with my mom's bank, I can use her clout without actually having to go through her.
Sookie: So have you heard from them?
Lorelai: No. Mr. Hahn is away. And until he comes back, I don't want to think about it.
Sookie: So where's Rory?
Lorelai: She went with my dad to a lecture at Yale.
Sookie: Really?
Lorelai: Yeah. I wasn't too thrilled about the whole thing, but it just happened so quickly and there was really no easy way out of it, so I decided not to make it any harder on her.
Sookie: Yeah, and it's just a lecture. It doesn't mean she's going to Yale. Rory's heart has been set on Harvard since forever and when she sets her mind on something she really wants, she follows it through.
Lorelai: Yeah. Let's hope it's a Gilmore trait.
(Later. Gilmore Residence.)
Lorelai: (on the phone.) Well, thanks anyway, Mr. Hahn. No, that won't be necessary.
(Rory comes in.)
Lorelai: Good bye. (hangs up the phone. Tries to put on a genuine smile for Rory.) Hey, kiddo!! (they hug) How was it?
Rory; Not bad. It was pretty interesting, and the campus is amazing.
Lorelai: Uh, that's good. I guess.
Rory: It is good. But you know what was the best part?
Lorelai: Don't tell me your grandfather started running around with his tie on his head singing Yale spirit chants.
Rory: No, unless I missed it.
Lorelai: So what was the best part?
Rory: Being able to come home after all that. And now I have to get ready because we have to go to Lane's thing.
Lorelai: Yes. That's right. Hurry up, toots. (Rory goes to her room. Lorelai collapses on the couch and puts her face in her hands.)
(Lorelai and Rory are walking to Miss Patty's dance studio. A whole crowd of townspeople are packing in.)
Miss Patty: Hello, ladies. Glad you could make it. Have a seat. The programs are on the side. Help yourselves to refreshements.
Lorelai: Wow, Patty. This is great. This was really nice of you to do for Lane.
Miss Patty: Well, she's such a sweet kid. She deserves it. It had nothing to do with the prospect of handsome young musicians.
Lorelai: Of course not.
Miss Patty: After all, I'm in a relationship that's getting pretty serious.
Lorelai: Really?
Miss Patty: In fact, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Lorelai: Believe me, Patty. I'm the last person you want relationship advise from.
Miss Patty: Don't I know it. But it's not that. See, I've been seeing this man for three weeks now, and the guy is crazy about his kids, you know. Borderline obsessed with them. So just to have something to talk about, I'd tell him stories about my kids. I told him I had five of them.
Lorelai: Yikes.
Miss Patty: I know. Well, his kids are coming to see him this week and he thought it'd be great if all our kids got together. So, I need kids. Not five, of course, but at least one. With maybe a granddaughter.
Lorelai: I see. Wow, Patty. Think about this, though. If you're planning on seeing this relationship through, you're going to have to be honest with him at some point.
Miss Patty: I know. I figured, if the dinner works well, and we all get along, I'll tell him the truth. That I really don't have five kids and I asked you two to come because I consider you like a daughter and granddaughter anyway.
Lorelai and Rory: (sincerely touched) Aw.
Lorelai: Well, when is this dinner?
Miss Patty: Tomorrow at six.
Lorelai: We'll be there, I guess. (Rory nods)
Miss Patty: Thanks a bunch, dollies. So have a seat. The show is starting soon.
(Lorelai and Rory sit down and look around. Luke walks in. Lorelai gives him a quizzical look. Luke shrugs and takes a seat. Rory looks around.)
Rory: (to Lorelai) I'll be right back.
Lorelai: Hurry up. You don't want to miss the show start.
(Rory goes to the diner. Jess is serving some few customers.)
Rory: Hey.
Jess: Hey.
Rory: I thought you'd come to Lane's thing.
Jess: I never said I was.
Rory: Luke's there. The whole town's there practically.
Jess: And I'm here.
Rory: Are you angry with me?
Jess: Nope.
Rory: So why don't you come? We haven't really spent time together. Oh, by the way, I'll have to see you early tomorrow because I'm going to be Miss Patty's granddaughter for dinner. (shyly) Sorry.
Jess: Great. I'm going to be busy tomorrow until the evening.
Rory: So when can I see you?
Jess: Don't know.
Rory: That means I'll hardly have seen you all weekend.
Jess: Not my fault.
Rory: I wasn't pointing fingers. I just want you to come with me now.
Jess: Look, Rory, I don't want to go. That's not my thing.
Rory: Since when is music not your thing?
Jess: Since it became a reason for all these crazy people to get together and vegetate.
Rory: I think it's great that so many people came to support Lane. I just don't know how they're going to keep Mrs. Kim from finding out about it.
Jess: It's going around as a dress rehearsal for 'Patricia LaCosta's one-woman play.'
Rory: Ah. So come on. There's hardly any people here. Ceasar can take care of it.
Jess: I told you it's not my thing.
Rory: Not even to support Lane?
Jess: She's your friend. Not mine.
Rory: Why are you acting like this?
Jess: Look, Rory, I'm not telling you not to go. Just don't force me to go. Those are your friends, your people, your commitments. I don't have to care about everything you care about. I don't have to care that Babette's leaves are covering her pumpkins, or that your grandfather wants you to hear some dumb lecture at Yale, or that Patty wants you to play her granddaughter, or that your friend is trying out for some stupid band. Just keep me separate from all of that.
Rory: That's not how it works, Jess.
Jess: Really? Let me ask you, Rory. Do your grandparents know about me? (Rory looks down) I didn't think so. Don't get me wrong. You're right about that. I don't want to meet the grandparents and have tea with them after croquet. Just be more consistent. I'm dating you. Not your family. Not this whole damn town.
(He picks up the rest of the plates from a table, and goes to the kitchen. Rory leaves, angrily.)
(Monday evening. There is yet again a crowd at Miss Patty's dance studio, only they're there for a town meeting. Lorelai, Rory, and Lane approach.)
Lorelai: I haven't seen a crowd like this since…Saturday.
Rory: Which, by the way, I can't seem to say enough how great you were.
Lane: Aw. Thanks. I'm supposed to meet the band leader today. Dave Rygalski. He couldn't make it on Saturday.
Lorelai: Don't worry. The seat's as good as yours, Lane.
Lane: Thanks. (they enter the studio, and move into some seats)
Lorelai: (calling to the front to Miss Patty while Taylor is speaking.) How did it end up with George?
Miss Patty: Are you kidding me? His whole family is obnoxious. It just wasn't going to work.
Lorelai: Well, I don't know. You know, not everyone can be as lovable as we are.
Taylor: Excuse me, I'm speaking here.
Lorelai: Sorry, Taylor.
Taylor: Now, as I was saying, these plastic owls just aren't cutting it. The pigeons are no longer afraid of them.
Babette: Ain't that the truth. The rascals aren't afraid of anything anymore.
Taylor: Well, what are we going to do about it?
Miss Patty: What can you do? Anyway, they say pigeon poop is good luck.
Lane: (to Rory) Who says?
Rory: Someone who obviously has been pooped on so much he had to make it into something good.
Taylor: Anyway. Last on our agenda. As we all know, last week's Fall Festival was a tremendous success. But it has been brought to my attention that its funds can be better utilized to service our community than previously planned. You all remember our beloved Fran. The day of her funeral also marked the celebratory naming of a new Stars Hollow landmark—Fran's Inn. The Council proposes that we use this year's Fall Festival profits towards the restoration and operation of this establishment. All for this proposal, please raise your hands. (everyone besides Lorelai and Rory, who are shocked, raise their hands.) All opposed. (no one raises their hands. Lorelai then does, and stands up.)
Lorelai: Wait a second. What's going on here?
Miss Patty: Well, we heard you were having problems coming up with the money, and we thought, might as well use all that money from the Festival. After all, that Inn will not only be a service to Stars Hollow, but it's a memorial to Fran, and it's your dream, too, and we couldn't think of anyone we'd want to help out more. You're a treasure to our community.
Lorelai and Rory: (touched) Aww.
(everyone claps.)
Taylor: Well, since that's settled, this meeting is adjourned.
(Outside. Luke congratulates Lorelai and they start talking amongst the rest of the crowd. Sookie is approaching.)
Sookie: Hey. Did I miss anything?
Lorelai: Oh yeah. I've got some great news for you.
Sookie: What is it?
Luke: I'll be seeing you. (leaves.)
Lorelai: You're never going to believe it. (they walk off)
(Rory and Lane are standing, talking, as well. A young man approaches.)
Young Man: Lane Kim?
Lane; Yes.
Young Man: Hi, Dave Rygalski. (they shake hands)
Lane: Hi, Dave. This is my friend Rory. (Dave and Rory shake hands.)
Rory: Nice to meet you. I'll talk to you later, Lane. (leaves)
Lane: Okay. (to Dave) So do you want to find a place to sit?
Dave: Yeah, that'd be great. (Lane and Dave walk off in the opposite direction. Rory looks around at the dispersing townspeople with a contented smile. She stops short as her eyes meet Jess'.)
Jess: Hi.
Rory: Hey.
Jess: How was it?
Rory: The town meeting? Oh, great. Really great.
Jess: Good.
Rory: About the other day…
Jess: Yeah. Um…
Rory: I wasn't trying to force you into anything.
Jess: I know.
Rory: It's just that you're important to me, and I don't want to keep you separate from the things that are important to me. I know there's been friction between you and…well, everyone, but I just wish we could find a middle ground or something.
Jess: You really mean that?
Rory: I do.
Jess: (grins) Follow me.
(The next day. Lorelai and Rory are walking to Luke's.)
Lorelai: You know what this means, don't you?
Rory: What?
Lorelai: We're going to have to start donating to the 'Save the Bridge Fund.'
Rory: You think so?
Lorelai: Look, at some point, whatever drug was in that punch at Lane's practice is going to wear off and they're going to realize what they did and they're going to prepare the pay-back.
Rory: You're a very cynical woman. Have you no faith in the goodness of human nature?
Lorelai: I have even more faith in the effects of spiked punch.
(There is a crowd of people in front of Taylor's store.)
Lorelai: Another crowd.
Rory: These people are far too gregarious.
Lorelai: Now what is it? (they walk over to have a closer look.)
Lorelai: Kirk, what's going on?
Kirk: Someone replaced Taylor's plastic owl with a Taylor Doose scarecrow.
Lorelai: (looking up at the scarecrow.) Wow. It really does look like Taylor.
Babette: Taylor, I say you should leave it. Look how the pigeons are flying away. It actually works.
Miss Patty: And it's a wonderful storefront prop. It really looks like you.
Taylor: That is not the point. This is vandalism. This is sick. Do you know what it is to leave your house and find an owl at your door, and come to work and see yourself perched on the roof?
Babette: It's not like you found a horse's head in your bed.
Taylor: Strangely similar, let me tell you. Strangely similar. It takes a sick and twisted mind to do something like this. And don't think I don't know whose mind we're talking about.
Miss Patty: Taylor, he wasn't even at the town meeting. He wouldn't have known about your thing with the owl and the pigeons.
Taylor: He doesn't have to. This type of behavior needs no external inspiration.
Rory: I don't know Taylor. He was with me the whole time until eleven, and then he was at home. You can even ask Luke.
Kirk: And it had to be before eleven because I saw the owl in front of your door at 11: 15. His story checks out.
Taylor: Well, I'm going to get to the bottom of this. (Taylor cuts through the crowd. He stops at Lorelai and Rory.)
Taylor: (to Rory) Are you sure he was with you the whole time?
Rory: Positive. (Taylor squints searchingly at Rory, then walks off.)
(In the diner. Rory and Lorelai take a seat.)
Lorelai: But if it wasn't Jess, who could it be? (Luke comes over.)
Rory: Good morning, Luke.
Luke: What are you having?
Lorelai: A Farmer Boy with some coffee.
Rory: Same here.
Lorelai: (Looking through the window as they try to take down the dummy.) I wonder how long it took to make one of those.
Rory: Oh, not long. About twenty minutes.
Lorelai: Is there something you want to tell me?
Rory: Hey, he said the plastic owl wasn't cutting it. We were just trying to help.
Lorelai: (laughing) I can't believe it. Is this how you want to repay them after last night?
Rory: At least now we don't have to donate to the Save the Bridge Fund. See, all is as it was. We've restored equilibrium.
Lorelai: It's like…ecochemistry.
Rory: Exactly.
(They look out the window and laugh.)