By: Stew Pid
Rating: Should be okay.
Disclaimer: I only own the Stew Pid stuff.
A/N: MILLIONS of THANKS to my reviewers. You guys blow me away. I'm sorry this chapter took so long. I had been sick last week and this week was just too hot. See, I don't have an AC in my apartment and no fan in my room, and I couldn't work in these conditions. It cooled down this week, but my brain was still fried from the not-so-gone heat wave when I wrote this, and if it's at all possible, this chapter is probably more convoluted than the previous ones. Speaking of the previous chapters, when I was going over the last chapter again to reacquaint myself with the fic, I noticed a lot of typos that I had been forewarned about (thanks, Avid, and I'm sorry I didn't pay closer heed) but then forgot about. I could change it now, but I'm still semi-lethargic. Anyway, my apologies. Hopefully this one doesn't have that many. I'll be more careful in the future. Thanks for your patience with me. I'm really trying to do better. Anyway, on with the fic. (retreats to the soft purr of the imaginary fan)
(Luke's. Upstairs. Jess is eating in front of the TV. Luke is at the table, eating, with books and papers all around him.)
Jess: Hey, Luke. Name something people do when nervous speaking in public.
Luke: (offhandedly) Picture everybody naked.
Jess: They said that already. Number 1 answer.
Luke: So what do they need another one for?
Jess: I don't know. It's the way the game goes.
Luke: All right. I have one for you.
Jess: One what?
Luke: Name someplace you take a…sort of a business woman for…well, sort of a casual first…meeting. Well, not a first meeting. You've met before but she was with Taylor and so…well, this would be your first time meeting her just the two of you.
Jess: Well, despite the fact that you both share a history of ample flannel, you're no Richard Karn.
Luke: Forget it.
Jess: This is about Taylor's goon?
Luke: She's not Taylor's goon. Taylor happens to be a client of the firm she happens to work for.
Jess: And you happen to sound ridiculous.
Luke: And you just might happen to come across an unfortunate accident that my fingerprints might happen to be all over.
Jess: So you asked the suit out?
Luke: No…Not really… Well, sort of.
Jess: If you don't know if you asked her out, how's she supposed to.
Luke: I told her I thought we could get together and go over my testimony.
Jess: Luke, I'm surprised at you. On the first date?
Luke: Shut up. Forget it.
Jess: Seriously, what are you worried about? The woman's spent most of the week with Taylor. You know her expectations have to be low now.
Luke: Yeah, well, still. You know, she's different. She wears suits to work. She drinks mint tea.
Jess: So take burping "Row your boat" out of your charm routine.
Luke: Oh you're a regular riot.
Jess: And refrain from the Honeymooners quote. Too blue-collar, don't you agree?
Luke: I'm ignoring you.
Jess: And if all else fails, picture her naked.
Luke: Look, I'm not nervous. Just forget I said anything. (Luke gets up to go downstairs.)
Jess: (calls back at him) Who said anything about being nervous?
(Luke shakes his head and leaves.)
(Next day. Gilmore Residence. Lorelai walks into the kitchen, the residue of sleep still smeared all over her. Rory is standing at the counter, sipping coffee while reading the newspaper.)
Lorelai: Ugh.
Rory: (through a sip of coffee) Mm.
Lorelai: (pours herself coffee and then drinks. Her face cringes.) Gah.
Rory: Hmm? (looks at Lorelai and sees what she has done.) Ah. (takes the mug from Lorelai, adds sugar, and returns it)
Lorelai: (sipping the coffee) Mmm. (inhales the fumes) Aah. (Lorelai looks at the clock and points at the time.)
Rory: (nodding her head) Uh huh. (she puts her mug in the sink and takes her book-bag.) Bye mom.
Lorelai: Bye, hun.
(Chilton. The Franklin staff is assembled in a classroom. Rory comes in.)
Paris: Miss Gilmore, how nice of you to join us.
Rory: (dead-pan) Nice to have you back, Paris.
Paris: Please take a seat, Rory. Now, I thank you all for coming to school so early for this emergency meeting. I apologize that I had to cancel the last one. I can assure you, it won't happen again. You are all perhaps wondering why I called this emergency meeting. Well, ladies and gentleman, I am pleased to say that I have discovered the story of the year. This is a project of investigative research, tough-hitting interviews, hard-driving reporting. The class of 2003: Behind the books. This is an ongoing story. Each week we'll feature a new piece. This is going to have everything. Unsolved mysteries like the girl that sat at the back of the class freshman year who suddenly disappeared without a word. Confessed secrets, human interest stories. Now everyone, please take an assignment from the pile. Let's get to work, people.
(Rory goes to grab a paper.)
Paris: Miss Gilmore, I have your assignment right here.
Rory: (takes the paper and looks at it.) Huh. Morrie the janitor.
Paris: Do you have a problem with that?
Rory: No. It's just that his name is actually Morty.
Paris: Well, that's the kind of accuracy we need for this piece.
Rory: Not really part of the class of 2003, though, is he?
Paris: He's a part of our Chilton experience. A valid part, I think. Unless you disagree?
Rory: Paris, what is this really about?
Paris: If you'd like another assignment, that's fine. Only it won't be part of this particular project. But we do need someone to do our advice column. I'm sure you'd love that, wouldn't you?
Rory: I take it you talked to Jamie.
Paris: (walking to a computer) I must have been insane to take your advice.
Rory: (following her) What did he say?
Paris: He hasn't said anything. I left a message.
Rory: He hasn't called you back?
Paris: He might have, but I didn't answer.
Rory: Huh. So you're angry with me because I gave you advice that you only partially followed and has ended so far in really nothing at all.
Paris: You made me act like some gum-chewing, N'Sync humming bimbo. And now Jamie has lost all respect for me.
Rory: First of all, I didn't twist your arm, and let's remember who asked whom for advice. Secondly, you're nowhere near a gum-chewing, N'Sync humming bimbo. Thirdly, you don't know what Jamie thinks about you because you didn't take any of his calls. (a moment's silence. Paris then looks down into her file.)
Paris: There's a Vegan who wasn't exempt from any of the uniform regulations. You know, the wool, the leather. You might want to get her story. Take whatever angle you want. (hands her a paper.)
Rory: Okay. (smiles.)
(Stars Hollow High. Lane is at her locker, struggling to get it open. She finally opens it and all her books fall on the floor. She gets on the floor to pick them up.)
Voice: Need some help?
Lane: (looks up) Hey, Dean. (He stoops down to pick up her books.) Thanks. (All the books are recovered and they stand.)
Dean: So how have you been? Are you still in the band?
Lane: Yeah, yeah.
Dean: How's it going?
Lane: Great. It's been a blast.
Dean: I'd love to hear you guys sometime.
Lane: Well, right now we've still been practicing. I'm not sure we're ready for an audience. But I'll keep you posted.
Dean: Great. Thanks.
Lane: Thank you. For being interested, I mean.
Dean: Of course.
Lane: And how have you been?
Dean: I've been all right.
Lane: I hear you've got Mrs. Webster for history again.
Dean: Yeah. You heard right.
Lane: Oh my God. How is that?
Dean: It's Mrs. Webster.
Lane: You remember sophomore year, me, you, and Rory before one of her exams?
Dean: (softly) Yeah, I remember.
Lane: (awkward) Yeah, well. Listen, if you need a study partner, I can give you Mr. Stokes' more sober version of the class.
Dean: Thanks. I should get to class now. I'll see you around.
Lane: Okay. Bye.
(She gets her books in her locker and closes it. Remembers.) Oh, my book! (she struggles again to open her locker.)
Voice: Need some help?
Lane: Oh. Hi, Jess. This stupid locker.
Jess: Allow me. (he hits three strategic locations on the locker and it opens. The books once again fall out.) Later. (He steps over the books and retreats down the hall.)
Lane: (mutters) Thanks. (she sighs and bends to pick up her books again.)
(Independence Inn. Lorelai and Michel and some other employees are at the front desk. Sookie comes over from the kitchen.)
Sookie: (to Lorelai) You rang.
Lorelai: Yes. Okay. Listen up, guys. Tomorrow we're going to have some potential buyers Mia is sending over. So Sookie, I need you to prepare one of your fabulous lunches for them. Everyone, we have to look our best tomorrow.
Michel: You mean no Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts anymore?
Lorelai: You know what I mean. The better we look, the better the Inn looks. Okay. So that's it. As you were. (the crowd disperses. Sookie and Lorelai walk to the kitchen.)
Sookie: Wow. So they're actually going to buy this place right from under us.
Lorelai: No, not right from under us. We do have another place, and Mia said we'd have plenty of time to get ourselves started over there before we had to leave here. It all works out.
Sookie: I wonder what those people plan on doing with the place.
Lorelai: I don't know. Hopefully it won't be another Inn because we don't really need the competition.
Sookie: Maybe it'll be one of those chain mini-marts that also sell the Slurpies.
Lorelai: Come to think of it, there's no place to buy a Slurpie in Stars Hollow.
Sookie: That's what I'm saying.
Lorelai: So, see, it's all for the best.
Sookie: Yeah.
(both smile weakly at each other.)
(Later. Gilmore Residence. Rory comes through the front door.)
Rory: Hey mom, I'm home.
Lorelai: (coming out from the kitchen) Hey. Where were you?
Rory: I was doing some work on a Franklin article.
Lorelai: Well, grab a pencil and get over here.
Rory: (pulls out a pencil from her book-bag and goes to the kitchen.) Why?
Lorelai: I'm trying to calculate all this stuff for the new Inn.
Rory: So what have you got so far?
Lorelai: A headache.
Rory: But what have you been figuring?
Lorelai: How they get the cream filling inside a Hostess cupcake?
Rory: (looking through the sheets) You haven't calculated any of this.
Lorelai: Well, I was waiting for you to get here.
Rory: No fair.
Lorelai: Hey, I ordered Luke's.
Rory: Did you get curly fries?
Lorelai: Yes, I did. See, I'm nice.
Rory: Okay. So let's get to this. (takes a seat.)
Lorelai: What are you doing?
Rory: I thought you wanted to work on this stuff.
Lorelai: You do have to pick up the food.
Rory: No fair.
Lorelai: Sometimes life just isn't.
Rory: Fine. I'll get the food but I'm not going to do any of this work. If you want, I will check it over when you're done, but justice must be served, and you're going to have to do it on your own, missy.
Lorelai: No fair.
Rory: Sometimes life just isn't. Now get to work. I'll be back.
(Rory is about to leave. She opens the door, and Jess is standing there with bags of food.)
Jess: You know, you could wait for me to ring the doorbell.
Rory: You brought the food.
Jess: It's been lying around in the diner for twenty minutes. You order it, you pay for it.
Lorelai: (coming into the living room) Rory, are you still…(sees them)…here?
Rory: Um, yeah. Jess brought the food.
Lorelai: Oh. Great. I'll get the money.
Rory: (to Jess) Do you want to come in? We have curly fries.
Lorelai: (not too enthused, but consenting) Uh, yeah. Why don't you come in, Jess? There's plenty.
Jess: Well, if you insist, Miss Gilmore. (he steps inside.)
Lorelai: Well, I don't actually insist, but don't let that stop you.
(The three proceed to the kitchen where Lorelai and Jess unload the food while Rory gets plates and cups.)
Lorelai: So Jess, how's school going?
Jess: Somehow inexplicably.
Lorelai: Huh.
Rory: (clearing up the papers from the table) Mom and I were going to figure out some calculations for the new Inn.
Jess: (to Lorelai) How's it going?
Lorelai: Well, looks like we have all the money for everything. Now we just have to figure out how much goes where and start calling people to get the work done, now that we're sure we can pay them.
Jess: Huh.
(There is an awkward silence as they set the table and start to eat.)
Rory: This is nice. We should do this more often.
Lorelai: Eat with our mouths closed?
Rory: No. I mean the three of us, having dinner together. It's very nice.
Lorelai: Okay. (Silence resumes).
Rory: Some conversation would be even nicer.
Lorelai: What's there to talk about?
Rory: I don't know. Anything. Nothing.
Lorelai: Jess, do you know anything?
Jess: I know nothing.
Lorelai: How is nothing?
Jess: Fine by me.
Lorelai: Well, that covers anything and nothing.
Rory: You two are impossible.
Lorelai: Okay, fine. Jess, we should talk. You and Rory have been dating for quite a while now. Now, dating my daughter does not come free. See, as a parent, I could easily makes rules and restrictions on Rory's dating, more than I actually do. In return for this leniency I ask for only one thing. Some simple services around the house every now and then…
Jess: Doesn't this speech work better with the fur coat and plumed hat?
Lorelai: You know, curly fries taste so good with hot sauce and I have this really great hot sauce, but it's in the basement on this high shelf. So…
Rory: Why would you keep hot sauce in the basement?
Lorelai: Because Sookie said that if you store it underground in a moist place, it improves the taste.
Rory: Isn't that for wine?
Lorelai: What makes you think grapes and bonnet peppers are much different?
Rory: Oh let's see. One's a fruit, the other's a vegetable.
Lorelai: So what do you say, Jess?
Rory: One's sweet, the other's sour.
Jess: No.
Rory: One grows on vines, the other grows on shrubs.
Lorelai: Dean would have done it.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Then again, Dean would have been able to reach it. You're right. Forget about it.
Rory: Mom!
Lorelai: (to Rory) Shh! I'm using all my ammo.
Jess: Get it yourself.
Lorelai: I guess ketchup will have to do.
Rory: Now that that's settled, what's for dessert?
Lorelai: I don't know. I told Luke to surprise me.
Rory: You actually ventured that? It's probably bran cookies or something.
Jess: I packed some cheesecake.
Lorelai: Cheesecake?
Jess: (shrugs) Worked for the Golden Girls.
Lorelai: Yeah, but then again, a lot of things worked for them that don't work for your average person. I mean, Blanch got more action in her 60s than…Cher in her 40s. Hmm.
Jess: Blanch was all talk. Dorothy got most of the action.
Rory: How do you figure?
Jess: The taller woman is every man's fantasy.
Lorelai: (twirling a curly fry in ketchup, dourly) And for you, she shouldn't be too hard to find.
Jess: Fine. I'll get the stupid hot sauce.
(leaves the table. Rory looks at her mother scoldingly, then the two smile roguishly at each other.)
(Later. Jess has left. Lorelai and Rory are at the table calculating figures.)
Rory: I can't believe how much money a toilet costs.
Lorelai: Yep.
Rory: Well, I guess this is the price of keeping away another epidemic of the Black Death.
Lorelai: That's a way of looking on the bright side.
Rory: (returning to the papers.) And that's just to buy the toilet. Then you have to pay to install.
Lorelai: Yep. Now, when the Harvard financial aid people ask you what happened to your money, you can just say it went down the toilet.
(Rory nods. The phone rings.)
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Tell Jess to become a plumber.
(Rory picks up the phone.)
Rory: Hello.
Paris: He called.
Rory: Jamie?
Paris: No, Carrot Top.
Rory: So what did he say?
Paris: He likes me.
Rory: That's great.
Paris: He wants to go out with me tomorrow.
Rory: Well, whatever you do, bring cash. That Carrot Top, for all his seeming consideration, never does seem to have a quarter to pay for the call.
Paris: I meant Jamie.
Rory: I know.
Paris: Here's the thing, though.
Rory: Uh oh.
Paris: Proper dating procedure is that you should never go on your first date alone.
Rory: Right. You're going with Jamie.
Paris: I'm talking about double-dating.
Rory: Jess and I didn't double-date.
Paris: But you already knew Jess.
Rory: You know Jamie.
Paris: Seeing him twice hardly qualifies as knowing him.
Rory: Well, I'm sure not in the biblical sense, but you do know him. It's not a blind date.
Paris: Look, I don't want to go out with him alone. What if he finds me boring? What if he decides he doesn't like me and leaves me stranded in the middle of nowhere?
Rory: That's not going to happen.
Paris: Not if you go with me.
Rory: This is ridiculous.
Paris: If you don't want to go, it's fine. I just didn't want to tell Madeline and Louise about it, so you were the only one left of the people who don't run as soon as I walk two steps towards them.
Rory: Well, my mom taught me not to run from my fears.
Paris: Good bye, Rory.
Rory: Paris, wait. What time?
Paris: Well, we were thinking seven, but if that's not good for you, I'll call him back.
Rory: Seven's good, I guess.
Paris: Okay. I'll give you the rest of the information tomorrow.
Rory: (voice deflated.) Great.
(Next day. Luke's. Lorelai comes in. Luke is hanging up the new specials sign.)
Lorelai: Hey.
Luke: Hey. I'll be with you in a second. (He finishes with the sign and gets down. Walks over to Lorelai.) Where's Rory?
Lorelai: She met up with Lane outside. They'll be in soon. I promised that I'd come ahead and order the raspberry pancakes before they run out.
Luke: News flash. The raspberry pancakes only run out after you and Rory have been here.
Lorelai: And one day, the rest of the town will catch on to us, and they'll run here before we get here so that there won't be much raspberry pancakes left for us.
Luke: (sarcastically) So what'll it be?
Lorelai: I'll have egg and toast.
Luke: Scrambled
Lorelai: Okay. Toast and egg.
Luke: Funny. Scrambled, boiled, or fried?
Lorelai: Scrambled.
Luke: Okay. Fried, scrambled, or boiled.
Lorelai: You've made me very proud.
Luke: Any side orders?
Lorelai: Yes. Raspberry pancakes.
Luke: There it comes.
Lorelai: And off you go.
Luke: Three of those, right?
Lorelai: Yep.
Luke: I'll be back with your order. (leaves.)
(Outside. Rory and Lane are walking toward the diner.)
Lane: So I told my mom that I was going to meet you in Hartford and that we would go together.
Rory: Nice plan.
Lane: So you'll do it?
Rory: Well, I'd love to, but I kind of already have a double-date scheduled.
Lane: Oh?
Rory: Yeah. You remember Paris. Well, she's going on her first date with this guy from Princeton and she didn't want to go alone, so I kind of agreed to go with her.
Lane: Huh. So you don't think we could triple date?
Rory: Do you want to share your first date with Dave with Paris?
Lane: Good point.
Rory: I'm sorry.
Lane: Well, wait. This could still work.
Rory: I'm listening.
Lane: What if we went to the same place. And then you could just alternate between Paris' table and mine. I know it's a lot to ask, but this is the only day this week that we can do this.
Rory: I guess I don't mind doing it, but I haven't even told Jess about Paris, and I'm not sure how much he'd be up for one double-date, much less two on the same night.
Lane: (dejectedly) Yeah.
Rory: But you know what? I'll see what I can do. But don't worry. You're going to have your first date with Dave tonight if it's the last thing I do.
Lane; (happy again) Thank you! I promise, whether it's Dave or whoever, you're going to be my maid of honor.
Rory: I thought I had that part since kindergarten.
Lane: Well, you did. But now I'm going to get that for you in writing.
Rory: Okay, then. So long as we're agreed.
Lane: Thank you so much.
Rory: Don't mention it.
(they walk into the diner. Luke has just brought over their orders.)
Rory: Wow. Such service.
Lorelai: Courtesy of yours truly.
Luke: Who made the food and brought over the plates?
Lorelai: Boy, someone's a credit hog.
(Jess comes from upstairs.)
Luke: Jess, get these people some coffee. (to Lorelai) Maybe you'll appreciate my service more now.
Lorelai: I do appreciate your service, Luke. In fact, I was wondering if you'd be able to provide some of that wonderful service today. I need you to figure out what you can get done for me for less. I'm working the figures now.
Luke: When? Tonight?
Lorelai: Well, yeah. I'm going to be at the Inn a little late today. We're having some important people over, and it's a whole big thing.
Luke: Well, I can't tonight. I have…something to do. But I'll make a few phone calls, maybe stop by the place today again, and I'll call you tomorrow morning, we can compare figures.
Lorelai: Sounds great.
Luke: Okay. (calling out) Jess! (Jess is standing right next to him with the coffee.)
Jess: (cupping his ear) Jesus. I'm right here.
Luke: Oh. Well, get to work. (Luke leaves. Jess pours the coffee. Lane looks at Rory. Rory nods.)
Rory: Uh, Jess, can we talk outside for a moment?
Jess: This can't be good.
Lorelai: (unawares) Sure doesn't sound it.
Rory: Well, it's not bad.
Jess: All right. (He leaves the coffee pot at the table and the two exit the diner.)
Lorelai: (looking at the coffee pot) See, now this is good.
(Outside.)
Rory: Hey.
Jess: You're killing me here, Rory.
Rory: Okay. Straight to the point. The thing is, both Paris and Lane are going on first dates this week, and Paris doesn't want to go alone and Lane really can't because there's this complex plan to get past Mrs. Kim that really won't work without me.
Jess: So you're going to be the third wheel on their dates. Well, have fun. (about to go back into the diner)
Rory: Not so fast, mister. Come on, Jess.
Jess: No.
Rory: Please.
Jess: Please? That's the best you've got?
Rory: I'll make it up to you.
Jess: When have I heard that before?
Rory: I promise. But I really need to do this. Plus, it will give you a chance to get better acquainted with Lane. And that night with Paris wasn't so bad, right?
Jess: She's a supercilious, pedantic freak who doesn't know how to eat fries.
Rory: But you had fun, didn't you?
Jess: I spent most the night waiting for her to leave and then I'm the one who got thrown out.
Rory: But you had fun, didn't you?
Jess: Maybe a little.
Rory: Okay, then. I promise you it will not be that bad. Please, come. (flashes the puppy dog eyes.)
Jess: (yielding.) Okay. But you're going to owe me big time.
Rory: Agreed.
Jess: So I'm sharing you with other people for two nights.
Rory: Actually, see, that's the good news.
Jess: What?
Rory: It's only one night. Their dates are kind of at the same time.
Jess: A triple date?
Rory: More like two double dates. We'll have to run back and forth. Wear sneakers. I have to get back inside. Thanks again for doing this. Bye. (pecks him quickly on the lips and rushes inside. Jess processes the rambled info and sighs.)
(In the diner. Rory walks to the table.)
Lorelai: So what did he say?
Rory: He'll do it.
Lane: Yes! (Jess comes in the diner. Lane smiles and waves at him. He looks at Rory icily.)
Lorelai: You sure he said he'd do it?
Rory: I never said he was happy about it.
(Later. Independence Inn. Lorelai is walking around with three men in suits.)
Lorelai: So the building is actually very strong. Thick walls, strong flooring.
Man # 1: What about the space in general. Is this a busy area?
Lorelai: Well, we do get good business, if that's what you mean.
Man # 2: No. He means if this is a popular area. I mean, we notice there's not too much in the immediate vicinity. You've kept the natural going and that's great, but it seems a little secluded. I'm sure for your purposes that worked well. This is the kind of place people want to stay at to relax, but for our purposes, we were hoping for an area that gets a lot of people passing by. Maybe a popular road crossing through here or something.
Lorelai: Not that it's any of my business, but what exactly would your purposes be?
Man #1: Honestly, Ms. Gilmore, the building is lovely, but we're more interested in the space. We proposed quite an ample sum to Mia for the building, and it's a shame that it's just to knock it down, but what we're looking for is space. We're planning on opening a golf course.
Man # 2: A miniature golf course.
Man # 1: (to Man # 2) We'll discuss that later.
Man # 2: (to Man # 1) There's nothing left to discuss. We can't get that kind of property.
Man #1: It's all about organization. We won't be holding the PGA Tour here, but something for the country club members in Hartford.
Man # 2: Better to have something for the country club wives in Hartford to bring the kids to also.
Man # 1: Like I said, we'll discuss this later. Pardon us, Ms. Gilmore. So we need to know if this is the kind of area that is easily accessible, passers-by, things like that.
Lorelai: Um, well, in that case, you know, I probably shouldn't be doing this, but honestly, I don't think this is the kind of area for that. This is the area for small inns, spas, retreat places, Buddhist temples. It sort of has to be because it's very residential. I mean, try to move something that will have people here with screaming kids or balls flying great distances and you'll have the whole town protesting. And they'll take it to the town council, and you really don't want to mess with Taylor because he's already got his lawyer on speed dial. There's just a lot of red tape for that kind of operation.
Man # 1: I see. That would be a problem.
Lorelai: But, I mean, it's not impossible. I think it could still be worth your investment. Then again, I'm biased because I am trying to make a sale here.
Man # 2: Well, we appreciate your honesty. We'll keep the place in mind. Thank you for your time.
Man # 1: Yes. It's really a wonderful place you have here.
Lorelai: Yeah, it is. (to Man # 3) You don't say much, do you? (he shakes his head) Well, I hope you consider us. Thanks for stopping by. (walks them to the door.)
(Later. Lorelai goes to the kitchen.)
Sookie: Are those guys going to be here for dinner, too?
Lorelai: Well, they left already.
Sookie: Already? That can't be good.
Lorelai: Well, depends which way you look at it.
Sookie: Uh oh. What do you mean?
Lorelai: What would you say if I told you I kind of drove them away?
Sookie: I'd say don't tell Mia you did.
Lorelai: It's just…I don't know. They want to knock the building down and put up a golf course. I don't know. I could maybe imagine driving along the road, looking towards this place and seeing the same building with a different sign on it. I could maybe even stomach seeing some alterations on it, a paint job, some construction, whatever. But to drive buy and see a windmill and dragon with its mouth open while people try to get balls up there, that's different. I wouldn't be able to even walk inside the place one day and imagine what it was like back when I first came here and Rory just started to waddle around with her chubby legs.
Sookie: Oh, I know, hun. So many memories.
Lorelai: Yeah.
Sookie: Do you remember the Bracebridge dinner?
Lorelai: (fondly) Yeah. (then face cringes) Though some of it I've been trying to forget.
Sookie: Well, I guess you just let go of the place, hold on to the memories.
(the phone rings.)
Michel: Independence Inn, Michel speaking…No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked. (Lorelai smiles.)
(Later. Luke's. Lorelai enters. Luke is cap-less and flannel-less.)
Lorelai: Hey. Who are you?
Luke: Shut up.
Lorelai: The voice sounds familiar.
Luke: You want your coffee or what?
Lorelai: Coffee very familiar. It must be Luke. I couldn't recognize you without your uniform. What's the occasion?
Luke: Aah, it's nothing. I'm meeting Nicole tonight for dinner.
Lorelai: You mean a date?
Luke: Let's call it two people meeting tonight for dinner, okay?
Lorelai: Wow. You and Nicole, huh?
Luke: What's that supposed to mean?
Lorelai: Nothing. I think it's great. She's a lawyer. You're…Luke.
Luke: You're trying to say I'm too dumb to go out with a lawyer?
Lorelai: No, that's not what I'm saying at all.
Luke: But you're thinking it. Be honest.
Lorelai: I'm honestly not.
Luke: Well why aren't you? I am too dumb to be going out with a lawyer.
Lorelai: Ah, the first date jitters. You must really like her.
Luke: She's okay. She's nice.
Lorelai: Yeah, Rory told me she met her. Strong, nice lawyer woman. Great catch, there, Luke.
Luke: Yeah. It's not going to work.
Lorelai: Stop it. She's getting a great catch, too. Just relax. Be yourself. You'll be fine.
Luke: So you want that coffee now?
Lorelai: Always.
(Later. Rory and Jess are sitting at a restaurant table with Paris and Jamie.)
Paris: It was overkill.
Jamie: I agree. I like to think I have a better appetite for realism myself, but The Iceman Cometh was too exaggerated an attempt.
Jess: That was O'Neill's point. He was avoiding the realism of the time. His was a different kind of realism.
Rory: Realism became a movement of matter-of-fact, true-to-life, practicality and accuracy. O'Neill wasn't trying to be true to life. He was trying to be true to the human condition.
Paris: And he wasn't even that. The word "pipe dream" is straight out of the failure's dictionary, and that's what O'Neill was. A bitter, disappointed failure who took out his vengeance against life in his writing.
Jess: Let me ask you, in what dictionary does winning four Pulitzers translate as failure?
Jamie: Come on, the guy was a New York slum dweller from highly dysfunctional parents, a tramp, a john, and a drop out.
Jess: I don't know. I think leaving Princeton was one of his better decisions.
Rory: (brushing by Jess' comment) And he was the first American playwright to win a Nobel Prize in a time when national policy was international isolation. (Rory's pager vibrates. She checks it.) Excuse me. I have to make a phone call.
Jamie: I have my cell phone.
Rory: Oh. No. Um, I don't want to use your minutes.
Jamie: It's no problem.
Rory: And Jess has to call his uncle, and if he knew we were using a cell phone in a restaurant, he'd combust.
Jess: Yeah. I saw a phone just up front.
Rory: Excuse us, please.
(Jess is about to grab some garlic bread, when Rory pulls him by the arm away from the table.)
Jess: (as they walk away) Just wanted a little something for the road. (they get to Lane's table.)
Lane: Hey.
Rory: Sorry we took so long.
Dave: Don't worry about it. Lane only paged because the food came.
Jess: (immediately grabbing the garlic bread.) The best thing about this place is the garlic bread.
Lane: I know. I didn't even know what half of the menu was.
Dave: The chicken is really good, though. It's a cool place. They could use some different background music.
(Jess nods, grateful for the shared sentiment)
Rory: (smiles) Not feeling the classical music either, huh?
Dave: It's not that. I just think it's cliché to have Verdi playing in the background of a Four Seasons-type restaurant.
Rory: Good point.
Lane: I say we call the guys here and blast Cretin Family.
Rory: Stage a coup.
Lane: Yeah.
Jess: I'll support the revolution.
Lane: So how's it going over there?
Rory: Okay. Paris and Jamie are a great pair.
Jess: Yeah. They're both crazy.
Rory: And how's it been going over here.
Lane: (smiling at Dave) Good.
(Later. Luke is coming into the diner with Nicole.)
Luke: So then he's running around the diner, and he has to run upstairs and he's calling out, "is it gone yet?" At that point the mother picks up the baby so I tell Jess she's got it and the minute he comes down, the baby just throws the thing smack in his face.
Nicole: (laughing) Oh my God.
Luke: It was a good thing he got hit by the outside.
Nicole. Well yeah. That was a funny story.
Luke: I'm sure you have plenty yourself, working with Taylor and all.
Nicole: Well, how about I save my funny stories for the next time.
Luke: Next time? That sounds good.
Nicole: Right now, though, I have to go. I have a meeting early tomorrow morning.
Luke: Yeah. I can't believe how late it is. I'll give you some coffee to go.
Nicole: That'd be great. (Luke pours her a cup.)
Luke: Here you go.
Nicole: Thanks. I really had a great time tonight.
Luke: Me too. (both smile)… So I'll call you.
Nicole: Okay. (they linger still)
Luke: Um, you know, I was just wondering because, you know, in some cultures they do things differently, and sometimes it's religious beliefs, and… (Nicole smiles and puts a finger on his lips.)
Nicole: Yes.
(Luke nods then leans in and kisses her.)
(Meanwhile. Gilmore residence.)
Rory: So I think it went really well. By the end, even Jess and Jamie were getting along.
Lorelai: Getting along?
Rory: Well, they're not going to be poker pals any time soon, but you know what I mean.
Lorelai: That's great. You know, Luke was going out on a first date today also.
Rory: Really? With Nicole?
Lorelai: Yep.
Rory: Wow. That's nice.
Lorelai: (with a small shrug) Yeah.
Rory: What was that about?
Lorelai: What?
Rory: You did the shrug.
Lorelai: The shrug?
Rory: The shrug that's always accompanied by a "yeah" when you really don't mean "yeah."
Lorelai: What are you talking about? There was no shrug. I really meant it. He's over Rachel. He's moving on. That's good. I'm proud of him.
Rory: (with a shrug) Okay.
(Next day. Luke's. Lorelai and Rory are seated at the counter. Luke comes out of the kitchen with plates.)
Luke: Be with you in a second. (he delivers the plates as Jess comes downstairs. Jess walks over to them and pours the coffee. Rory stands up. She is now taller than Jess as she is wearing ridiculously high-heeled shoes.)
Jess: What happened to you?
Rory: I said I'd make it up to you. What was that about the taller woman? (Jess smirks. Rory wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. They part and Jess looks quickly at Lorelai who is looking everywhere else.)
Jess: You want to go upstairs for a bit?
Rory: I would, but I can't walk in these.
Jess: I'll help you. Come on.
Rory: Okay. (Rory stumbles immediately. Jess grabs her and they make their way to the stairs. You can hear the bumps and thuds as they try to climb the steps.)
Jess' voice: Forget it. Dump the shoes.
Rory's voice: What about the fantasy?
Jess's voice: I outgrew it.
(the sound of the tossed heavy shoes clanking down the steps.)
(Luke comes over to Lorelai)
Luke: What was that about?
Lorelai: (in a sing-songy voice.) Young love. Speaking of which, how was your date?
Luke: Good, good.
Lorelai: Two words. Same word. But still two. That's an improvement. Come on. Details.
Luke: It was nice. We had a great diner, nice restaurant, not too formal. Good conversation. No accidents or disasters. Everything went smoothly, and in my life, smooth is very rare.
Lorelai: Well, that's good. I'm happy for you.
Luke: Thanks. I really mean it. Thank you.
(Lorelai smiles. Rory comes downstairs.)
Rory: (to Lorelai) All right. I need my school shoes. (Lorelai takes them from a bag, and Rory puts them on.)
Lorelai: Ready to go?
Rory: Yep. Bye, mom. (kisses Lorelai good-bye.) Bye, Luke. (leaves.)
Lorelai: I better go, too. I'll see you later.
Luke: Yeah. (Lorelai leaves and Jess comes downstairs.) (to Jess) How'd it go last night?
Jess: (shrugs) You?
Luke: Yeah. Same.
Jess: (nods) I'm out.
(Jess leaves and Luke looks around at a poorly populated diner.)
The End.