Disclaimer: What do you think me, a genius? All characters belong to J.W.,
ME, Fox, et al.
Title: "Birthday Blues"
Rating: Over all R.
Chapter One: PG-13, just to be safe.
Pairings: Spike/Buffy, Spike/Dawn (friendship)
History: Season 7, Buffy's birthday that never aired. Spike got his "edge" back a little sooner than on the show.
Summary: Someone remembered Buffy's birthday this year. WIP until the end.
Chapter One: Spike and Buffy have a chat. Spike and Dawn plan to go shopping for Buffy's birthday.
Author's Notes: Anything in asterisks denotes internal thoughts.
******
Spike slipped his black leather duster on and grabbed his wallet from underneath the cot mattress. He slipped it in his pocket as he made his way up to the kitchen. He picked out his favorite mug from the cupboard and filled it with a bag of blood. Spike smiled as Dawn walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Bit."
"Hi, Spike!" Dawn smiled brightly. "Whatcha up to?" she sat down at the island across from where Spike was standing.
"Just heating up a cup. I was a bit feeling peckish."
"Oh. Are you going somewhere?" she asked indicating his jacket.
"Off to that bloody thing you Americans call a mall," he scowled.
"Why?" Dawn laughed to herself because he sounded like Giles. *How British!*
"Got to get a present for big Sis' birthday." Spike walked over to the microwave and took out his dinner.
"Oh my God! Buffy's birthday is in two days! I totally forgot, y'know with everything that's going on! Can I come with you?"
"Right, I bet everyone's forgotten. May be this year's won't be so bad. "
"Yeah, after my wish fiasco last year, I'm sure everyone will be happy that they've forgotten! Buffy's birthdays don't tend to go very well, as you know."
"That's wasn't all your fault, you didn't know she was a vengeance demon," Spike said understandingly.
"Right, but this is the Hellmouth and I am the Slayer's sister, I should know better! So, can I come?" she asked again.
"Sure, Niblet, you can tag along."
"Okay, give me ten minutes to get ready." Dawn ran from the kitchen and upstairs to get changed.
******
Buffy and Kennedy walked into the kitchen after almost being ran over by Dawn.
"Where's the fire?" Kennedy asked.
Spike turned around. "Ladies."
"Where was Dawn off to in such a hurry? I don't think I ever saw her move so fast," Buffy stated.
"We're going to take a walk. She went to get ready."
"Where?" Buffy asked. "She was that excited over a walk?"
"Oh, no where in particular. Just going to spend some time together. Don't think she feels very welcome in her own home, if you know what I mean. No one seems to pay her any attention lately." Spike immediately regretted what came out of his mouth.
"What do you mean, 'no one pays her any attention anymore'?" Buffy asked, her brow furrowing.
*Insert foot into mouth once again, mate.* Spike told himself. "Just, she seems down lately and you're always so busy with the wannabes, you don't spend any time with her."
"That's not." Buffy stopped. *God, it is true! I'm being neglectful Buffy again.*
".true? It is, Pet."
"Did she say something to you?" Buffy asked getting the juice out.
Kennedy grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and headed towards the living room. *This is not a conversation I need to be a part of! Plus, there are better things I could be doing, like kissing Willow!* Kennedy smiled. "Buffy, we'll talk later.about weapons?"
"We'll see, Kennedy." Buffy turned her attention back to the blond vampire once the teenager was gone. "Well, did she say something?"
Spike sighed. "It's not my place to say, really."
Buffy looked at Spike, sadness creeping into her eyes. "Spike, please. What did she say to you?"
"She knows you're busy, but Buffy she's your sister and you barely say more than, 'Dawn, get ready for bed you have school.' Or, 'Dawn, you're going to be late.' Or, 'Dawn is your homework done?'" Spike drank the last bit of his blood before speaking again. "It's like you don't want anything to do with her. This past summer, you were training her, spending time with her, teaching her, and now."
"And now what?"
"Now, you just ignore her. I'm sorry, but I understand where she's coming from," Spike said softly. *Just the way that you can ignore me. Turn it on and off, you do.*
"Spike, you know that." Buffy stared at him. *Is he making this about himself? About us? Have I been ignoring him too?* Buffy asked herself.
"I know what you have to do, what you're going through. Buffy, you can't forget she's going through it also. She may not be the Slayer, but she's the Slayer's sister and for awhile you were treating her like she was the most important thing in your life."
"Spike, Dawn is the most important thing in my life. I'm trying to protect her. I don't want anything to happen to her. She's too young."
"Then why did you quit training her when the other girl's came? Why did you push her away? Buffy, she's more vulnerable not knowing how to defend herself. Those girls, they can't protect her; they can barely protect themselves. Dawn's got a better chance of protecting them than they do her. She's got more ability than half of them do. Don't forget she's the same age you were when you became the Slayer."
"Spike, that's different. I was meant to be the Slayer. I don't want her life ruined by mine."
"She is your life, Buffy. You and her, you're all she's got left. You know not everyone is going to survive. You don't know who will be here when this is all over." Spike looked at the floor. *I don't know if I'll even be here. I don't know if even you'll be here.*
"She's got you," Buffy smiled softly.
Spike sighed. He never liked admitting defeat. "Buffy, I don't know if I'll be here when this is all over."
"What.what do you mean? Are you leaving me, us?" Buffy felt her heart tighten and the breath leave her lungs. "You aren't leaving are you?"
Spike looked at his Slayer, deep into her eyes. *Is that worry? Does she want me to stay?* Spike remained silent.
"Spike?" Buffy almost pleaded. "Why aren't you answering me?" Buffy's stomach started doing summersaults.
Spike took in a large un-needed breath and stared at the Slayer. His normally bright blue eyes glassed over briefly before he looked away. "Buffy, I can't answer that."
"You can't? You seem to be able to speak quite perfectly. Although sometimes I have no idea what some of the words you use mean," she attempted to joke. She grew serious again when Spike didn't find her comment amusing. "Don't say that you're leaving for my own good. Please, I've heard that before and it never worked! I can't believe this!"
Buffy felt as if she had been kicked in the ribs with steel-toed boots repeatedly, for hours. Her brain was having trouble finding an answer to why Spike would've told her such things. Anger was rising inside of her, making her blood hot and her heart pound in her chest. She walked up to the vampire and took his face in her hands. Hazel eyes met stormy blue ones as she looked deep inside of him, trying to find the truth.
Spike laid his hands upon hers and stared into her eyes. He didn't like what he saw: confusion, pain, anger. He couldn't bare it any longer, so he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. Her skin warmed his cool skin and sent shockwaves through his body.
*God, I could stay in your arms for eternity, but I know it'll never happen. Why do I torture myself? I would give up my immortality just to have you love me back, to have you return any of what I feel for you.*
Buffy felt herself leaning into him, letting her forehead meet his. Her hands still cupped his face as she took in his scent. *Still cigarettes and leather. And is that my vanilla body wash? God, you smell good, Spike!*
Buffy sighed as she whispered, her breath tickling his lips. "Please, don't shut me out." *Please, don't leave me! I won't be able to handle it!*
"Buffy, I can't.not now. Don't make me. There are more important things to worry about."
*Important? You are important to me!* Buffy screamed inside. *Why can't I tell you this out loud? Why does it have to be so painful? So hard?* she asked herself. *Because you're the Slayer. You're not supposed to fall in love with vampires!* her own voice screamed back.
"Spike, I'm ready!" Dawn yelled running down the stairs.
Spike pulled away from Buffy and leaned against the island. He could see the pain in her face and it tore him up inside. *Always hurting the girl, Spike ole boy. Staying or going, it won't make a difference.*
Buffy backed away from Spike, hurt and confusion clouding her eyes. She forced back a river of tears as Dawn came bouncing into the kitchen. Dawn was all smiles, which made Buffy's heart lighten a small bit. *Why do you always hurt the ones you love?* She always found herself asking that very question over and over, still never finding an answer.
"Hey, Buffy!" Dawn smiled.
"Hey, Dawnie," Buffy managed to say without sounding too depressed. "I heard you and Spike are going for a walk?"
"Yeah," Dawn beamed. "We're going to spend some quality time together. Catch up, y'know, friendly things." Dawn turned to Spike and winked. "Isn't that right, Spike?"
"Sure thing, Bit. You all set?" Spike asked setting his mug in the sink and rinsing it. *Anything so I don't have too see that look on your face.*
"Yup. Bye Buffy." Dawn said heading towards the living room.
"Bye. Do be careful" Buffy stated.
"I will don't worry."
"I know, but I still do," Buffy stated. "Have fun."
"I, we will." Dawn waved, "C-ya."
"C-ya," Buffy said deflated. She turned her gaze to Spike and nodded before leaving.
"Buffy," Spike called, but it was too late. Buffy had already left and ran upstairs. "Bloody hell!" he muttered.
"Spike, c'mon!" Dawn called waiting by the door.
"Coming, Bit!" Spike replied.
To Be Continued..
Title: "Birthday Blues"
Rating: Over all R.
Chapter One: PG-13, just to be safe.
Pairings: Spike/Buffy, Spike/Dawn (friendship)
History: Season 7, Buffy's birthday that never aired. Spike got his "edge" back a little sooner than on the show.
Summary: Someone remembered Buffy's birthday this year. WIP until the end.
Chapter One: Spike and Buffy have a chat. Spike and Dawn plan to go shopping for Buffy's birthday.
Author's Notes: Anything in asterisks denotes internal thoughts.
******
Spike slipped his black leather duster on and grabbed his wallet from underneath the cot mattress. He slipped it in his pocket as he made his way up to the kitchen. He picked out his favorite mug from the cupboard and filled it with a bag of blood. Spike smiled as Dawn walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, Bit."
"Hi, Spike!" Dawn smiled brightly. "Whatcha up to?" she sat down at the island across from where Spike was standing.
"Just heating up a cup. I was a bit feeling peckish."
"Oh. Are you going somewhere?" she asked indicating his jacket.
"Off to that bloody thing you Americans call a mall," he scowled.
"Why?" Dawn laughed to herself because he sounded like Giles. *How British!*
"Got to get a present for big Sis' birthday." Spike walked over to the microwave and took out his dinner.
"Oh my God! Buffy's birthday is in two days! I totally forgot, y'know with everything that's going on! Can I come with you?"
"Right, I bet everyone's forgotten. May be this year's won't be so bad. "
"Yeah, after my wish fiasco last year, I'm sure everyone will be happy that they've forgotten! Buffy's birthdays don't tend to go very well, as you know."
"That's wasn't all your fault, you didn't know she was a vengeance demon," Spike said understandingly.
"Right, but this is the Hellmouth and I am the Slayer's sister, I should know better! So, can I come?" she asked again.
"Sure, Niblet, you can tag along."
"Okay, give me ten minutes to get ready." Dawn ran from the kitchen and upstairs to get changed.
******
Buffy and Kennedy walked into the kitchen after almost being ran over by Dawn.
"Where's the fire?" Kennedy asked.
Spike turned around. "Ladies."
"Where was Dawn off to in such a hurry? I don't think I ever saw her move so fast," Buffy stated.
"We're going to take a walk. She went to get ready."
"Where?" Buffy asked. "She was that excited over a walk?"
"Oh, no where in particular. Just going to spend some time together. Don't think she feels very welcome in her own home, if you know what I mean. No one seems to pay her any attention lately." Spike immediately regretted what came out of his mouth.
"What do you mean, 'no one pays her any attention anymore'?" Buffy asked, her brow furrowing.
*Insert foot into mouth once again, mate.* Spike told himself. "Just, she seems down lately and you're always so busy with the wannabes, you don't spend any time with her."
"That's not." Buffy stopped. *God, it is true! I'm being neglectful Buffy again.*
".true? It is, Pet."
"Did she say something to you?" Buffy asked getting the juice out.
Kennedy grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and headed towards the living room. *This is not a conversation I need to be a part of! Plus, there are better things I could be doing, like kissing Willow!* Kennedy smiled. "Buffy, we'll talk later.about weapons?"
"We'll see, Kennedy." Buffy turned her attention back to the blond vampire once the teenager was gone. "Well, did she say something?"
Spike sighed. "It's not my place to say, really."
Buffy looked at Spike, sadness creeping into her eyes. "Spike, please. What did she say to you?"
"She knows you're busy, but Buffy she's your sister and you barely say more than, 'Dawn, get ready for bed you have school.' Or, 'Dawn, you're going to be late.' Or, 'Dawn is your homework done?'" Spike drank the last bit of his blood before speaking again. "It's like you don't want anything to do with her. This past summer, you were training her, spending time with her, teaching her, and now."
"And now what?"
"Now, you just ignore her. I'm sorry, but I understand where she's coming from," Spike said softly. *Just the way that you can ignore me. Turn it on and off, you do.*
"Spike, you know that." Buffy stared at him. *Is he making this about himself? About us? Have I been ignoring him too?* Buffy asked herself.
"I know what you have to do, what you're going through. Buffy, you can't forget she's going through it also. She may not be the Slayer, but she's the Slayer's sister and for awhile you were treating her like she was the most important thing in your life."
"Spike, Dawn is the most important thing in my life. I'm trying to protect her. I don't want anything to happen to her. She's too young."
"Then why did you quit training her when the other girl's came? Why did you push her away? Buffy, she's more vulnerable not knowing how to defend herself. Those girls, they can't protect her; they can barely protect themselves. Dawn's got a better chance of protecting them than they do her. She's got more ability than half of them do. Don't forget she's the same age you were when you became the Slayer."
"Spike, that's different. I was meant to be the Slayer. I don't want her life ruined by mine."
"She is your life, Buffy. You and her, you're all she's got left. You know not everyone is going to survive. You don't know who will be here when this is all over." Spike looked at the floor. *I don't know if I'll even be here. I don't know if even you'll be here.*
"She's got you," Buffy smiled softly.
Spike sighed. He never liked admitting defeat. "Buffy, I don't know if I'll be here when this is all over."
"What.what do you mean? Are you leaving me, us?" Buffy felt her heart tighten and the breath leave her lungs. "You aren't leaving are you?"
Spike looked at his Slayer, deep into her eyes. *Is that worry? Does she want me to stay?* Spike remained silent.
"Spike?" Buffy almost pleaded. "Why aren't you answering me?" Buffy's stomach started doing summersaults.
Spike took in a large un-needed breath and stared at the Slayer. His normally bright blue eyes glassed over briefly before he looked away. "Buffy, I can't answer that."
"You can't? You seem to be able to speak quite perfectly. Although sometimes I have no idea what some of the words you use mean," she attempted to joke. She grew serious again when Spike didn't find her comment amusing. "Don't say that you're leaving for my own good. Please, I've heard that before and it never worked! I can't believe this!"
Buffy felt as if she had been kicked in the ribs with steel-toed boots repeatedly, for hours. Her brain was having trouble finding an answer to why Spike would've told her such things. Anger was rising inside of her, making her blood hot and her heart pound in her chest. She walked up to the vampire and took his face in her hands. Hazel eyes met stormy blue ones as she looked deep inside of him, trying to find the truth.
Spike laid his hands upon hers and stared into her eyes. He didn't like what he saw: confusion, pain, anger. He couldn't bare it any longer, so he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. Her skin warmed his cool skin and sent shockwaves through his body.
*God, I could stay in your arms for eternity, but I know it'll never happen. Why do I torture myself? I would give up my immortality just to have you love me back, to have you return any of what I feel for you.*
Buffy felt herself leaning into him, letting her forehead meet his. Her hands still cupped his face as she took in his scent. *Still cigarettes and leather. And is that my vanilla body wash? God, you smell good, Spike!*
Buffy sighed as she whispered, her breath tickling his lips. "Please, don't shut me out." *Please, don't leave me! I won't be able to handle it!*
"Buffy, I can't.not now. Don't make me. There are more important things to worry about."
*Important? You are important to me!* Buffy screamed inside. *Why can't I tell you this out loud? Why does it have to be so painful? So hard?* she asked herself. *Because you're the Slayer. You're not supposed to fall in love with vampires!* her own voice screamed back.
"Spike, I'm ready!" Dawn yelled running down the stairs.
Spike pulled away from Buffy and leaned against the island. He could see the pain in her face and it tore him up inside. *Always hurting the girl, Spike ole boy. Staying or going, it won't make a difference.*
Buffy backed away from Spike, hurt and confusion clouding her eyes. She forced back a river of tears as Dawn came bouncing into the kitchen. Dawn was all smiles, which made Buffy's heart lighten a small bit. *Why do you always hurt the ones you love?* She always found herself asking that very question over and over, still never finding an answer.
"Hey, Buffy!" Dawn smiled.
"Hey, Dawnie," Buffy managed to say without sounding too depressed. "I heard you and Spike are going for a walk?"
"Yeah," Dawn beamed. "We're going to spend some quality time together. Catch up, y'know, friendly things." Dawn turned to Spike and winked. "Isn't that right, Spike?"
"Sure thing, Bit. You all set?" Spike asked setting his mug in the sink and rinsing it. *Anything so I don't have too see that look on your face.*
"Yup. Bye Buffy." Dawn said heading towards the living room.
"Bye. Do be careful" Buffy stated.
"I will don't worry."
"I know, but I still do," Buffy stated. "Have fun."
"I, we will." Dawn waved, "C-ya."
"C-ya," Buffy said deflated. She turned her gaze to Spike and nodded before leaving.
"Buffy," Spike called, but it was too late. Buffy had already left and ran upstairs. "Bloody hell!" he muttered.
"Spike, c'mon!" Dawn called waiting by the door.
"Coming, Bit!" Spike replied.
To Be Continued..