Dicclaimer:
I owen the dagger. Is that good? But not much else, im afraied. Not even Lori!



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Figwit felt Ana stir beside him, and sat up. Her eyes fluttered open, and she smiled as she saw him.

"I was so worried." He murmemered, taking her hand, and pressing her fingers to his lips. "Melamin, what happened?"

She frowned at that, and tried to sit up. "My babies! She stabbed my babies!"

Figwit placed his hands firmly on her shoulders, and pushed her down. "Who did? Ana. Who touched you?"

"That snobby elf."

"And her name?"

"She was the one who talked to you before...I think." Ana answered. Before Figwit could think about her words, her eyes looking around, and seeing the two cribs. "I want to see my babies. Now."

Figwit picked her up gently, kissing her forehead. He took her to the little girl.

"She's not hurt..." Ana smiled and reached down.

Figwit then took her to the boy, who's skin was less pale than before. Ana struggled.

"Right. She's dead." Ana got down, and started for the door. Figwit pulled her back.

"It isn't too bad."

"Our son has lost a arm! He's a half-elf, but can't use a bow! How is that 'Isn't too bad'?" Ana asked.

Figwit made Ana lie on the bed, and brought each of the twins over. He lay the girl in her arms, and held the boy. "It isn't too bad, because we all survived. The attacker failed."

He smiled, and kissed Ana, slowly. "And soon we can make love as we used to."

"Oh goody." Ana smiled. "But first, I rip out that girl's hair, pull of every one of her fingernails, cut off a arm, wax her without mercy..."

Figwit wrapped a arm around her. "And before that, you need to learn how to breastfeed two at once."

"You learn to breastfeed, I'll go hunting." Ana grinned. "How's Toni?"

"Off, making sure the tradition of Sheelala is kept."

"Ahh..." Ana looked at the twins in their laps, and laughed. "More twins to the family. Mom will want to meet you, you know. And dad."

"Oh Varda..." Figwit breathed out. "I was hoping there was no father. He will not like me. I got you pregnant."

Ana nodded. "He'll probally want you castrated."

Figwit just groaned. "If I marry you in your world, will he forgive me?"

"You'd come to my world?"

"Of course!" Figwit laughed, at her expression. "Did you think I'd keep you here?"

"No, but..." Ana trailed off. She ran her finger over the little girl's face, and ears. "She has your ears."

"So does the boy." Figwit took her hand in his. "But they have your nose."

"They'll be wanting plastic sergary in twenty years time." Ana sighed dramaticly.

~~~~*~~~*~~~~

Antonia picked up the paintbrush, and Lori, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, and Merry held down Boromir. Dipping it in the henna, she started to paint swirls and love hearts on his face. The five tied him up.

"We'll be back in a few hours." Lori told him grinning. "We have more pray to find."

The six ran off, and bumped into Aragorn. Again, the same thing happened, and another man was left, tied on the ground, this one with teddy bears and fish all over his arms, legs and face. Moving on, they found Gimli.

They pinned him, but he looked up at them.

"Ahhh. Never had I seen a lady as beautiful as you." He looked straight at Lori. She froze, backed off, and ran, the other five following. His laughter could be heard from far away.

"Ok...no more dwarfs." Lori called, from behind.

"Hmm. Your right. Group meeting!" Antonia called, and they sat on the grass. "Frodo. First things, first. Feeling better?"

Frodo grinned. "Nope. Lets get some more...then maybe I'll think about it."

Antonia nodded. "Pippin? Have you got the popcorn?"

Pippin held up a bag of cold popcorn.

Antonia smiled. "Merry, Sam the hair dye?"

Merry and Sam help up two waterguns each, filled with purple hairdye.

"Lori, how's the innocent puppy dog look?"

A look from Lori, and all four hobbits sighed and patted her head.

"Ok. Lori, how's the lippy?"

Lori put on bright red lippy, and nodded. "It's on."

"Inspectian!"

The five lined up. All were wearing green, and had black paint smuged on their cheeks and nose. Lori's lips were now bright red.

"Lets hunt elves."

~~~~*~~~*~~~~

Legolas walked along the long winding path, and came across Boromir. Releasing him, he noticed the artwork that had been stained into his skin.

"Antonia...hobbits...Lori..." Boromir spoke shakely. "On the loose..."

Legola's eyes widened. "No..."

"Yes..."

"We must find Aragorn."

Boromir held his head in his hands. "Too late. They got him."

~~~~*~~~*~~~~

Leoglas, Boromir and Aragorn walked quietly down the path, passing victams. A elf with purple hair. A elf with lipstick marks on his cheeks. A elf covered in popcorn.

"We're on the right trail." Boromir whispered. "They'll be close."

"Now, what we have to do, is slowly approch them. No sudden movements, it will aragavate them more..." Aragorn whispered. "Boromir, you...Boromir?"

He was gone.

Legolas spun around to Aragorn. He'd vanished too, the stick lieing on the ground. "Strider? Wit?"

"Hey Legolas." Lori called. "WHat's wrong?"

"Yea, Legolas." Antonia called from behind him.

The hobbits circled him, and all six attacked.

Lori gripped him around the waist and started to stick lipstick kisses all over him. The hobbits started to stuff popcorn down his tunic. Antonia came up to him.

"Are you scared?" She whispered in his ear, and he nodded. "Not scared enough."

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Ohh! Thankyou Lori! Just got ur reveiws then! :) I love the piccy of Legolas and Boromir hugging on the stairs. It cracked me up!


No garrentees of Ana or the boy living yet! A warning...