Yes I own these things. I bought them with my own money. They are mine! Mine, I tell you! Mine! If your talking about he Rights? No, I don't have the Right's to them.


Nosgoth

I don't know when. Maybe it was last Thursday?


Over the rise of a hill, the sound of thunderous hoof beats were heard in the distance. As they came closer to the top until a figure could be seen.

It was a man with flowing white hair that was bound at his waist. He had a worn and weathered face with pointed ears and elongated canines. (No he didn't have a dog! It was his teeth!) He wore a pair of very tight low rise leather pants. His chest was uncovered save for a metal shoulder pad on his left shoulder and a drape on his right. The symbol on the drape was of Kain of Nosgoth, the Vampire Lord. The wavy sword he carried was on his back. He skipped or should I say galloped as one would ride a horse.

Behind him was another vampire. This one was gruesome looking. He was hunched over, weighed down by his lord's things. It looked liked some one had tried to do a brain transplant and a total body overhaul on the poor wretch and failed at it, badly. In his three fingered hands he banged two halves of a coconut together.

Kain lifted his three fingered clawed hand and commanded, "Halt!" He then danced around, pretending to stop his invisible horse. All the while the other vampire banged the coconut to mimic the sound. When all this stupidity was done they looked up to a keep not too far in the distance. Kain the waved his servant on. Then they both rode forth to the keep, banging coconuts all the way.

As they come to the wall of the keep a soldier calls down to them, "Halt! Who goes there?

Kain stops his horse. He looks up and calls back. "It is I, Kain, ruler of all Nosgoth. King over all the vampire hoards. Destroyer of the Sarafan and Hylden."

Silence followed for some time after. "Yea, right......." the soldier finally said.

"I am Kain!" he growled. "And this wretch is Magnus, my....." Kain waved his claw in the while thinking up the right words. ".....my flunkey. I have ridden the whole length of this land in search of souls eager to join my vampire hoards. I will speak with you lord and master. Now!"

"You rode here on a horse?"

"Yes!"

"You're using cocoanuts!"

Kain was angered at this. "What did you say!"

"You're flunkey got two empty halves of a coconut and he's banging them together," the soldier yelled down to Kain.

"I tell you that I have ridden through the winter to find souls. And you're complaining about coconuts. Fetch your master, now!" Kain's eyes flared red as he spoke.

Still not listing to Kain's request, the soldier called back, "Where did you get the coconuts?"

"We found them." This was not going Kain's way.

"Found them? The coconut's from the tropic. And you said you've been riding though the winter."

Kain's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, with the smoke covering the sky, we can't growing anything here. And it's also too cold, also from not having the sun any more," the soldier harshly yelled to Kain.

"Some crows fly south to find warmer climes then return. It's very common," Kain explained.

"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"

Kain thought for a moment. "No. They could have been carried."

"A crow carrying a coconut?"

Kain continued on with the stupidly. "It could grip it by the husk......"

"That's stupid. Why would a crow carry a coconut. I mean they eat meat and all. And it just might be too heavy for it."

Kain had enough of this. "Why the hell do I care. Go and fetch your master and tell him that Kain is here." he yelled.

"Maybe the crow would want to eat it. I've seen them eat grain and other thing of the nature. But how would the crow carry such a heavy thing," pondered the soldier.

"Damn ingrate!" Kain muttered.

Just then a second soldier comes up and says, "I think one of Vorador's could carry it! They fly backwards, you know."

"Yes, I know one of Vorador's could do it. But I'm talking about a regular one," said the first soldier to the second.

"Yes, you are right about that," replied the second.

Kain was now very anoied and losing his patience fast. "Will you go and tell you master I want his soul. Now!"

The soldiers ignored Kain. "But why would one of Vorador's fly south? He uses them as spies."

Kain could not stand any more of this. These humans were unworthy to become part of his hoard. And would be too easy to kill, thus being no fun. He shook his head then turned to leave.

"But it two of them held it together." the second soldier said.

"No, no, no,. I think they would have to tow it along....." the first soldier voice faded into the distance Kain and Magnus as "rode" off into the mist.