Somewhere near The Pillars of Nosgoth, the Council of Nine, having found four new members in less than three chapters were celebrating. Instead of throwing a toga party there were throwing a Gregorian Chanting Monks party. Brown wool robes were handed out and so were wooden boards. And now the fun was beginning.

"Pies lesu domine, donna eis requiem," the council chanted, then cracked themselves in the heads with the boards. "Pies lesu domine," again they hit themselves. "Donna eis requiem." Wack!

That was were the fun people were. And Kain and Magnus were missing it all. No they had stumbled on a village near Meridian. Is was also a fun day there. A witch hunting day.

"We go a witch!" A villager called.

"We found a witch!" Cried another.

The mob drug the witch, who in real life was not a witch she was only hiding her true self, to the center of the village. A man stood there.

His skin was blue in color, with short black hair. On his back were black, feathered angels wings. He wore gray pants and a matching long coat that had the arms cut out. He too, like Kain and Magnus, had only three fingers and fangs. He was the wises and most ancient of all that lived there.

Today he was seeing if a dove that had a coconut tied to it could actual fly. The bird only hovered in the air for a few moments before dropping to the ground. He turns to see the mob with the witch.

"We have found a witch. May we burn her?" the first villager asked the ancient. Where upon the rest of the village yelled, "A witch! Burn her!"

"How do you know she is a witch?" the ancient question in a Western European accent.

"She looks like one," they all cried.

"Bring her forward."

As she was pushed forward she yelled, "I am not a witch. I am not a witch." But alas, her silken voice fell upon deaf ears. She had black hair, pale skin, clawed hands, and fangs. There were also two tattoos down the sides of her face.

"But you are dressed as one." the ancient told her.

"You know why," she whispered to him.

"And how many times have I told you to stop," he replied to her. Then he spoke to the villagers, "You all know she dresses like this always. Why do you wish to burn her?"

"She is a witch." the first villager said followed by a choirs of, "A witch, a witch, burn her!"

Rubbing his temple with one of his clawed hands. The blue skinned vampire asked them, "What makes you think she is a with?"

"She turned me into a newt," a second villager said.

"A newt?"

The was a slight hesitation from the villager before he said, "Well, I got better."

"Burn her anyway!" cried the villagers.

As this faithful moment Kain and Magnus happen to "ride" up. Kain seeing that the blue one was a vampire, decided to stay and watch what he did. Kain also thought that the witch looked very familiar. This intrigued him even more.

"Quiet! Quiet!," the blue vampire shouted. "There are way of telling whether she is a witch, or not."

"Are there?" said one villager.

"What are they?" asked another.

"Tell us, tell us," they cried. "Do they hurt?"

"Tell me...." he paused, "What do you do with witches?"

There came a unanimous cry of, "Burn them. Burn them."

"And what do you burn, apart from witches?"

"More witches!" came the shout of the first villager.

Then came the most intelligent statement so far in this chapter. "Wood," said a fourth villager.

The blue one then posed a new question, "So why do witches burn?"

A minute passed and not a sound could be heard. One could almost hear the sound of a coconut laden crow flying. Or maybe some one cutting down a tree with a herring.

A small and mumbled sound came from one the peasant that was turned into a newt, "Because they're made of wood?"

"Very good," the winged one praised them. "So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?"

The first villager yelled, "Build a bridge out of her."

"True, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?"

"Oh..... Yea," came the muted reply.

Knowing that the question got him no where, the blue one asked another, "Does wood sink in water?"

"No. It floats," came the answer from the fourth villager.

The first villager cried out, "Throw her into the pond."

"Like hell!" the witch yelled at the blue one.

"Don't worry," he said to here. Then to the villagers, "What also floats in water?"

Here and there answers came out. "Bread? Apples.... Very small rocks.... Cider.... Gray gravy.... Cherries.... Mud.... Churches! Lead.... Rahab?"

Kain had enough and yelled, "A duck."

Every one turns to see the new comers. The winged one was most impressed with Kain answer.

"Exactly," he said. "So... logically..."

"... If she... weights the same as a duck.... she's made of wood," the first villager pondered.

"And therefore?" the ancient prodded.

"A witch!" they all cried. "A duck! A duck! Fetch a duck."

"Now to the scales," the blue ancient said.

The villagers drag the witch off to the scales. Followed by the blue winged ancient and a villager with a duck. Kain and Magnus also followed. The witch looked very familiar to kain.

The villagers shove the witch onto one of the scales sides and the duck onto another. The villagers all look with eagerly as the supports are knocked out. The witch and the duck are equaly balanced.

"A witch!" the villagers cry, as they drag her away to be burned.

As she is being taken away, she sees Kain and knows who he is. "Kain!" she yelled. "Kain, it is me, Umah."

Kain looked at Magnus. "Did you hear something?"

Magnus shook his head no."

"Kain! You bastard! Help Me!" Umah screamed as she was taken away to be set alight. "Kain!"

After the mob left, Kain walked up to the winged vampire.

"Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?" the blue ancient asked Kain .

"I am Kain, king of Nosgoth," replied Kain. "Will you come with me to the Pillars and become part of my vampire hoard?"

"That would be a great honor to me," the ancient said while giving a bow.

Kain like this one. He was more inelegant than Magnus and gave him that respect that a king needed. He was a keeper. "Than what is your name?" Kain asked him.

The blue one looked up and said," I am called Janos Audron."

"Then I dub you...."Kain said while knighting Janos. "Sir Janos.... Inelegance advisor for my vampire hoard!"


And so it was, that Janos Audron was the first to join Kain's vampire hoard. But as always, others soon wanted to be part of the "in crowd" and joined up as well....

Sir Raziel the Vengeful. Another blue vampire. A soul sucking one that ran around naked. Save only for a piece of cloth that covered his missing jaw.

Sir Vorador the Lustful. A green dog eared vampire. He was a bigamist.

And Sir Zephon the just a vengeful but not willing to go through with it as Sir Raziel. Who was out of town when the Sarafan came rolling through. Who had a bath room break when the vampire hunters attacked. And was found hiding in a corner, praying for dear life not to be part of this story.

And the aptly named Sir Not appearing in this story. His real name was Truel.

Together they formed a band whose names were soon forgotten after they left the area. Because who would ever listen, let alone buy, anything from a vampire boy band. Even thought Janos and Vorador had the good looks. And there was a odd, sick lusting after Raziel, who had no parts and that confused the masses. Even Kain with his power and the all mighty Soul Reaver, got women. But still there was no profit.

So they eventual gave up and moved on. But the odd thing was that Sir Zephon now had a band of his own that followed him every where. New armor and new weapons. Maybe Kain should not have put him in charge of their money.

But anyway off to The Pillars....