A/N - I'm sorry but this is my favorite chapter yet. Anyway it's also midnight, so i think i'm delirious...
Chapter 16
Rovin and Christian returned home later that evening, with Rovin in tears, and Christian trying to be the good friend he had been many years ago. Because he had been gone for so long and didn't exactly know everything about Rovin, he wasn't sure what to do in a situation like this. They stopped in the ally between the inn and the house next to it, in order for Rovin to dry her eyes and wipe her face.
"You going to be okay?" Christian asked leaning against the wall and crossing his arms
"Yeah," Rovin said with a half smile. Her face was red and blotchy from crying and her nose was now stuffed up.
"You know," Christian commented pushing off from the wall and staring down at her" I don't believe I've ever seen the Great Dodger cry"
"Yes you have," Rovin replied with a small laugh
"No. Never. I swear on my honor as a thief. Not even when we were young and Noah would tease you. Never once did I see you cry. You always stuck up your chin, like a noble, and walked proudly out of the room, ignoring the little comments coming from his friends."
"I don't remember it being like that"
"Of course I would always find out later about how you'd run to your father crying and spill everything out to him, no matter who was in the room as long as it wasn't Noah or one of his friends. Then your father would tell you to get them back some how, but not violently. To save that part for when you were older."
"That's what I remember. The crying. Who told you about that?"
"Bobby,"
"He could never keep a secret." Rovin replied with a small laugh as she hugged herself. I've never really gotten Noah back"
"I think you have already"
"How?"
"It's obvious Rovin,"
"And how would you know? You've only been back for a few hours!"
"I've been back longer than that."
"Really?"
"Yep. I was in the city that day you and Noah were to steal from the noble, who is currently lying in your bed."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You could tell how jealous Noah was when you started kissing the one."
"Noah doesn't get jealous. He and I don't have that kind of relationship"
"That doesn't mean he doesn't want that kind of relationship."
"What if I can't or won't give it to him"
"What do you think?"
"He'll forget about it"
"Not likely. Most guys don't forget their first loves." After a moments hesitation Christian continued "Do you love him?"
"Who?" Rovin replied stunned and confused about the question
"The one upstairs."
Rovin gaped at Christian not sure about how she should answer. Of course she had some feelings for Daniel. She just wasn't sure there was love there. Certainly, if she digs deep enough she would fined the love that should be there for Daniel.
"I'm not sure," Rovin finally muttered
"And what about Noah? Do you love him?"
"I'm not allowed to love" Rovin finally replied staring at the cobblestone street and trying to wish Christian away. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with him. She knew he was Noah's brother, but she didn't think Noah would ask his brother, to ask her all these personal questions about love, and make her question herself.
"I think you need to listen to your heart for once, and stop playing this game with the two of them."
"What game?" Rovin suddenly shot at Christian standing up straight and staring him in the face. She knew he had asked a simply request, only to stop whatever hurt his brother seemed to be having, but Rovin honestly was not playing any game with Noah. Never would she even think of Noah as a possible caller, or more. Noah was just a friend, and determined to stay that way. "I honestly don't know what you are talking about! Noah and I are just friends. So whatever you think you are doing, why don't you stop Christian! I have only one person who is even close to coming to someone I could live with for the rest of my life, and that person is Daniel. So whatever Noah told you about the two of us never happened, and it never will happen!"
Christian stared at Rovin for a long time, deciding the right words to use to talk to her. He didn't want to say anything that would set her off again, but he certainly wanted her to see what she has been doing for the past few months with Noah, even if she doesn't notice she's doing it. "I thought you had the Gift. Aren't you a mage?"
"No. I was. But not anymore" Rovin replied stubbornly
"But don't you still have the hearing?"
"Of course I do." Rovin said trying to ignore the fact that she did. It was a gift she had inherited from her mother, and something she didn't like having at all. Anything coming from her mother seemed to be a curse, and all Rovin wanted to do was to get rid of it. She had already gotten rid of everything her mother ever gave her before she left, and everything she sends whenever she remembers. But having the gift of hearing is one thing Rovin can't seem to get rid of. It follows her everywhere and makes her listen to things that aren't meant for her to listen too. That's what makes her such a good thief. She can hear the breath of someone behind her two miles off. She can hear the pounding heartbeat of her attacker before it starts pounding. She wondered where Christian was going with this stupid theory of his. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked
"Maybe you should try to let your heart have dibs on the hearing of yours. You'd probably be able to sort out all your thoughts I know are crowding your mind right now." Christian and Rovin stood in front of each other for a long time without speaking. They never made eye contact, yet seemed to be watching each other. Finally Christian spoke up again. "Are you going to be alright?"
"I just need some time alone. That's all"
"Sure," Christian replied. He gave Rovin a quick, awkward hug, before leaving the ally and entering the inn. Rovin leaned against the wall of the inn trying to dry her eyes. She caught the attention of the many late night thieves as they passed her by, and was terrified that one of them would stop and see the "Great Dodger", as Christian liked to put it, crying. Suddenly Rovin couldn't contain her emotions. The tears that she had held for so long in her eyes came streaming down her face. She placed her hand over her mouth, to muffle out the cries as she took deep breaths, while crying more and more. She hated her life, and hated how things had gotten so mixed up. What happened to living the life of a thief and growing old with her father. Rovin had long ago made the promise to never fall in love, and here she was trying to sort out mixed emotions about two different men. Each different, special and unique to her. Yet she could only have one. And right now the one she seemed to be with was fine. He was rich and had everything she could ever dream of. A nice home, a safe place to raise children. No one threatening you with your life, or breaking into your home, or killing and stealing your family. No one to wake you up in the middle of the night, because the king's guard were raiding the inn. With Daniel she could be safe, and would never have to fear anyone again. Only there was the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, telling her something was wrong. She shouldn't be with someone who was of such a high stature, when she was a mere thief. Born and raised that way, without any possible way of ever moving in rank. And, yes, there was someone who loved her of the same rank. Someone she got along with, on good days, and was able to tell all her secrets too. Someone who already knew all the secrets she had, because he was just like her. Born and raised a thief, in the same house as her, learning the exact same things as she did. Both of them lost their mothers around the same time, both of them growing up together around people who loved them and wanted them to be happy. Yet she could never be happy with him. He had already been with so many other women, why would she be any different. Someone to sleep with for one night, and then get rid of the next morning.
Rovin cried over all this and more. She made her way towards the back of the ally, where the entrance to the kitchen door was. She sat down on a crate and cried. Not knowing how long she stayed there, or how wet she got. Suddenly she heard movement coming from beside her. Slowly she turned her head to stare at the person. She wasn't surprise to see Noah sitting against the wall, staring at her. He sat with his elbows perched on his knees, and his hand on his mouth, as if he were pondering something. Then he stood and sat on the crate next to Rovin. Neither of them said anything. They just sat there for an hour or two, occasionally exchanging glances. Finally a few hours before dawn, Noah spoke for the first time that night.
"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked sincerely
Rovin turned and actually looked at him. He was handsome. He obviously hadn't shaved recently from the stubble around his chin, yet it made him look older and more handsome. "Did you sleep with Sara?" Rovin blurted before she could stop herself. Deep down she was glad she said it as she sat there waiting for an answer.
Noah turned away from Rovin before answering her "I started to. But then I couldn't"
"Why not? You've done it plenty of times with the other girls." Rovin commented. She really didn't know why she was saying all these things, but there was no way she was going to stop.
"I know. And actually it hasn't been that many times before." Noah replied starting to fiddle with his thumbs. "But for some reason, tonight I couldn't"
"That's not the answer I want." Rovin replied rudely
"Well how am I suppose to know what you want?" Noah asked just as rudely
"Because you know me well enough!"
"I obviously don't."
"Noah, stop doing this!"
"Doing what?" Noah said loudly
"I just want a straight answer from you!" Rovin said louder than Noah had standing up and looking down at him.
"What do you want? You want to hear that I didn't sleep with her because I'm madly in love with you, and the thought of you out there in the woods with Daniel, alone, doing Mithros knows what, breaks my heart. Is that what you want to hear? Well fine you heard it! Is your life complete now!" Noah yelled standing up as well and looking at her with pain in his eyes.
Rovin stood shocked. She didn't know how to respond. She knew in the back of her mind that Noah would say something along those lines, yet she didn't think they were actually true. Rovin for once let her heart do the thinking. Suddenly, and without warning, she grabbed Noah's face and kissed him. Noah was shocked as well, and couldn't quite believe what was happening. Rovin kissed him repeatedly not being able to face him if she let go. Never in her life would she imagine Noah having any feelings, beyond friendship, for her. Here he was practically proclaiming his love for her, and all she could think to do was deny him of it. Yet…
Rovin pushed Noah away and ran inside the inn, slamming the kitchen door behind her. She knew she couldn't go to her room, for Daniel was there in pain. And she couldn't go back to the palace, because she wasn't ready for another round of Emily. Rovin did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She went to her fathers room and fell asleep on the floor, wrapped in the blanket, her mother had made for fathers bed when they had been married.
Chapter 16
Rovin and Christian returned home later that evening, with Rovin in tears, and Christian trying to be the good friend he had been many years ago. Because he had been gone for so long and didn't exactly know everything about Rovin, he wasn't sure what to do in a situation like this. They stopped in the ally between the inn and the house next to it, in order for Rovin to dry her eyes and wipe her face.
"You going to be okay?" Christian asked leaning against the wall and crossing his arms
"Yeah," Rovin said with a half smile. Her face was red and blotchy from crying and her nose was now stuffed up.
"You know," Christian commented pushing off from the wall and staring down at her" I don't believe I've ever seen the Great Dodger cry"
"Yes you have," Rovin replied with a small laugh
"No. Never. I swear on my honor as a thief. Not even when we were young and Noah would tease you. Never once did I see you cry. You always stuck up your chin, like a noble, and walked proudly out of the room, ignoring the little comments coming from his friends."
"I don't remember it being like that"
"Of course I would always find out later about how you'd run to your father crying and spill everything out to him, no matter who was in the room as long as it wasn't Noah or one of his friends. Then your father would tell you to get them back some how, but not violently. To save that part for when you were older."
"That's what I remember. The crying. Who told you about that?"
"Bobby,"
"He could never keep a secret." Rovin replied with a small laugh as she hugged herself. I've never really gotten Noah back"
"I think you have already"
"How?"
"It's obvious Rovin,"
"And how would you know? You've only been back for a few hours!"
"I've been back longer than that."
"Really?"
"Yep. I was in the city that day you and Noah were to steal from the noble, who is currently lying in your bed."
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"You could tell how jealous Noah was when you started kissing the one."
"Noah doesn't get jealous. He and I don't have that kind of relationship"
"That doesn't mean he doesn't want that kind of relationship."
"What if I can't or won't give it to him"
"What do you think?"
"He'll forget about it"
"Not likely. Most guys don't forget their first loves." After a moments hesitation Christian continued "Do you love him?"
"Who?" Rovin replied stunned and confused about the question
"The one upstairs."
Rovin gaped at Christian not sure about how she should answer. Of course she had some feelings for Daniel. She just wasn't sure there was love there. Certainly, if she digs deep enough she would fined the love that should be there for Daniel.
"I'm not sure," Rovin finally muttered
"And what about Noah? Do you love him?"
"I'm not allowed to love" Rovin finally replied staring at the cobblestone street and trying to wish Christian away. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation with him. She knew he was Noah's brother, but she didn't think Noah would ask his brother, to ask her all these personal questions about love, and make her question herself.
"I think you need to listen to your heart for once, and stop playing this game with the two of them."
"What game?" Rovin suddenly shot at Christian standing up straight and staring him in the face. She knew he had asked a simply request, only to stop whatever hurt his brother seemed to be having, but Rovin honestly was not playing any game with Noah. Never would she even think of Noah as a possible caller, or more. Noah was just a friend, and determined to stay that way. "I honestly don't know what you are talking about! Noah and I are just friends. So whatever you think you are doing, why don't you stop Christian! I have only one person who is even close to coming to someone I could live with for the rest of my life, and that person is Daniel. So whatever Noah told you about the two of us never happened, and it never will happen!"
Christian stared at Rovin for a long time, deciding the right words to use to talk to her. He didn't want to say anything that would set her off again, but he certainly wanted her to see what she has been doing for the past few months with Noah, even if she doesn't notice she's doing it. "I thought you had the Gift. Aren't you a mage?"
"No. I was. But not anymore" Rovin replied stubbornly
"But don't you still have the hearing?"
"Of course I do." Rovin said trying to ignore the fact that she did. It was a gift she had inherited from her mother, and something she didn't like having at all. Anything coming from her mother seemed to be a curse, and all Rovin wanted to do was to get rid of it. She had already gotten rid of everything her mother ever gave her before she left, and everything she sends whenever she remembers. But having the gift of hearing is one thing Rovin can't seem to get rid of. It follows her everywhere and makes her listen to things that aren't meant for her to listen too. That's what makes her such a good thief. She can hear the breath of someone behind her two miles off. She can hear the pounding heartbeat of her attacker before it starts pounding. She wondered where Christian was going with this stupid theory of his. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked
"Maybe you should try to let your heart have dibs on the hearing of yours. You'd probably be able to sort out all your thoughts I know are crowding your mind right now." Christian and Rovin stood in front of each other for a long time without speaking. They never made eye contact, yet seemed to be watching each other. Finally Christian spoke up again. "Are you going to be alright?"
"I just need some time alone. That's all"
"Sure," Christian replied. He gave Rovin a quick, awkward hug, before leaving the ally and entering the inn. Rovin leaned against the wall of the inn trying to dry her eyes. She caught the attention of the many late night thieves as they passed her by, and was terrified that one of them would stop and see the "Great Dodger", as Christian liked to put it, crying. Suddenly Rovin couldn't contain her emotions. The tears that she had held for so long in her eyes came streaming down her face. She placed her hand over her mouth, to muffle out the cries as she took deep breaths, while crying more and more. She hated her life, and hated how things had gotten so mixed up. What happened to living the life of a thief and growing old with her father. Rovin had long ago made the promise to never fall in love, and here she was trying to sort out mixed emotions about two different men. Each different, special and unique to her. Yet she could only have one. And right now the one she seemed to be with was fine. He was rich and had everything she could ever dream of. A nice home, a safe place to raise children. No one threatening you with your life, or breaking into your home, or killing and stealing your family. No one to wake you up in the middle of the night, because the king's guard were raiding the inn. With Daniel she could be safe, and would never have to fear anyone again. Only there was the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, telling her something was wrong. She shouldn't be with someone who was of such a high stature, when she was a mere thief. Born and raised that way, without any possible way of ever moving in rank. And, yes, there was someone who loved her of the same rank. Someone she got along with, on good days, and was able to tell all her secrets too. Someone who already knew all the secrets she had, because he was just like her. Born and raised a thief, in the same house as her, learning the exact same things as she did. Both of them lost their mothers around the same time, both of them growing up together around people who loved them and wanted them to be happy. Yet she could never be happy with him. He had already been with so many other women, why would she be any different. Someone to sleep with for one night, and then get rid of the next morning.
Rovin cried over all this and more. She made her way towards the back of the ally, where the entrance to the kitchen door was. She sat down on a crate and cried. Not knowing how long she stayed there, or how wet she got. Suddenly she heard movement coming from beside her. Slowly she turned her head to stare at the person. She wasn't surprise to see Noah sitting against the wall, staring at her. He sat with his elbows perched on his knees, and his hand on his mouth, as if he were pondering something. Then he stood and sat on the crate next to Rovin. Neither of them said anything. They just sat there for an hour or two, occasionally exchanging glances. Finally a few hours before dawn, Noah spoke for the first time that night.
"Anything you want to talk about?" he asked sincerely
Rovin turned and actually looked at him. He was handsome. He obviously hadn't shaved recently from the stubble around his chin, yet it made him look older and more handsome. "Did you sleep with Sara?" Rovin blurted before she could stop herself. Deep down she was glad she said it as she sat there waiting for an answer.
Noah turned away from Rovin before answering her "I started to. But then I couldn't"
"Why not? You've done it plenty of times with the other girls." Rovin commented. She really didn't know why she was saying all these things, but there was no way she was going to stop.
"I know. And actually it hasn't been that many times before." Noah replied starting to fiddle with his thumbs. "But for some reason, tonight I couldn't"
"That's not the answer I want." Rovin replied rudely
"Well how am I suppose to know what you want?" Noah asked just as rudely
"Because you know me well enough!"
"I obviously don't."
"Noah, stop doing this!"
"Doing what?" Noah said loudly
"I just want a straight answer from you!" Rovin said louder than Noah had standing up and looking down at him.
"What do you want? You want to hear that I didn't sleep with her because I'm madly in love with you, and the thought of you out there in the woods with Daniel, alone, doing Mithros knows what, breaks my heart. Is that what you want to hear? Well fine you heard it! Is your life complete now!" Noah yelled standing up as well and looking at her with pain in his eyes.
Rovin stood shocked. She didn't know how to respond. She knew in the back of her mind that Noah would say something along those lines, yet she didn't think they were actually true. Rovin for once let her heart do the thinking. Suddenly, and without warning, she grabbed Noah's face and kissed him. Noah was shocked as well, and couldn't quite believe what was happening. Rovin kissed him repeatedly not being able to face him if she let go. Never in her life would she imagine Noah having any feelings, beyond friendship, for her. Here he was practically proclaiming his love for her, and all she could think to do was deny him of it. Yet…
Rovin pushed Noah away and ran inside the inn, slamming the kitchen door behind her. She knew she couldn't go to her room, for Daniel was there in pain. And she couldn't go back to the palace, because she wasn't ready for another round of Emily. Rovin did the only thing she could think of at the moment. She went to her fathers room and fell asleep on the floor, wrapped in the blanket, her mother had made for fathers bed when they had been married.