*After a hard days of bagging groceries, Joe is in a video store renting some videos*
Joe: Uhmm, here I would like these.
Kyosuke the clerk: *adjusts glasses while reading the title* Hmm, a, ah, interesting selection
Joe: Yeah yeah here is the money *throws money at Kyosuke*
Kyosuke: Allow me to get a brown paper bag
Joe: Ha ha very funny gimmiethat! *snatch*
*as he is exiting the video store he hears a cry from a nearby ally*
???: Help!
Joe: damn! *runs into the ally*
*Kei (sakuras friend, I am told her name is Kei) is laying on the ground looking spooked*
Kei: But, I already gave you all my money!
Sodom: Eeeheehee, yes and thanks, but I want to take something of more value to you, eeeheeeheee
Kei: Like what?
Sodom: Eeeheehee, you know
Kei: My purse?
Sodom: Something you save for someone very special, and I will take it!
Kei: My shoes?
Sodom: No, something you can only give to someone once, and then you can never get it back!! Not without reconstructive surgery, of course?
Kei: What are you gonna do with my socks?
Sodom: Let me show you what I mean!
Joe: Wait!
Sodom: Eh? Who are you? *reads Food Lion name tag* Ok Joe, move on out before I have to thrast you!
Joe: *Throws movies on the ground* You obviosly don't know who your dealing with! *rips Shirt and pants off revealing his boxer shorts and his taped fists*
Sodom: Sorry pal, but your jumping the gun I think, I caught her first, so you get sloppy seconds!
Joe: I don't wanna help you I wanna hurt you! Hey is it drafty in here?
Kei: oooo, heeeheehee
Joe: Doh! Stupid fly! *adjust boxers accordingly*
Sodom: *rushes at Joe slashing with his Sai thingies*
Joe: *Dodges, then grabs his arm and knees his elbow*
Sodom: AAARRGGHH!
Joe: TIGER KICK! *knee to da face*
Sodom: *A star twinkles over Sodom's head*
Joe: You should have joined the Nintendo Fun Club, you Ass! SCREW UPPPAAHH!
Sodom: *dies*
Kei: *getting up* Oh wow! Thanks you for saving me *hugs Joe* I was so scared!
Joe: Hey don't worry about it, I'll walk you home.
Kei: Oh you dont have to do that, lets go back to your house and watch your videos, its the least I could do to repay you *picks up video* Lets see what you have here.....
Joe: No, wait umm
Kei: oh wow I love dogs!
Joe: I don't think ya understa...
Kei: *hooks arm* Lets go!
*back at Joe's room at Dan's pad*
Joe: So you like these kinda movies huh?
Kei: Oh wow they are so cool! *is entranced by the film*
Dan: *peeking through the door with a polaroid camera*
Joe: Dan git atta here!
Dan: Oh sorry, I thought I heard a dog barking in here
Joe: Oh sorry, Ill cut the volume down
Dan: *does a double take at the TV Screen* Hey I didn't think that was legal in this state
Joe: GET OUT!
Kei: Wow! This is so cool!
Joe: If you think Fido knows how to do it why don't you let me show you some of my moves
Kei: Ewww thats gross!
Joe: Eh? IM GROSS!
Kei: Hehe, yeah! Your a boy!
Joe: Wha...but, hey!
Kei: Hehe you are kinda good looking and all, but Im not ready for..that yet.
Joe: Whaaaaaaaaaaat
Kei: Me and my best friend Sakura said we would wait until we can get laid together!
Joe: *picks up phone* Whats her number?
Kei: Hehe, no silly, not with one guy! Just at the same night or something
Joe: OK OK, what if I set her up with someone
Kei: She likes Ryu a whole lot. She said she wants him to be her first
*movie ends*
Kei: Call me sometime, k Joe?
Joe: OK
*Joe goes into the kitchen and gets a some food and then sits down in the living room and snaps into his slim Jim*
Joe: *is so deep in thought he doesn't notice Dan sitting on the coach with a big grin on his face*
Dan: So?
Joe: AAAH! You scared me!
Dan: Give me the juicy details
Joe: Oh, nevermind
Dan; Come on and tell me, pretend I dont have a camera hidden in your room.
Joe: She wont get laid until Sakura gets laid
Dan: *picks up phone* Whats her number?
Joe: That wont work, she wants Ryu something awful
Dan: BWahahah!
Joe: Whats so funny
Dan: Ryu doesn't have time to have a life, he is training to much.
Joe: Then what?
Dan: I have an idea *picks up phone*
Dan: Hello? Hey
Phone: blahblahblah
Dan: This is Dan, wait dont hang up! Sakura's purity is at stake!
Phone: Blah! Blah blah!!
Dan: Come on over. We will sort it out.
Joe: Who was that?
Dan: You'll see when he gets over here, which should be any minute now....
????: BLOOODIAA!!! *crashes down door*
Dan: Jin, my man! Meet Joe!
Jin: Yo Joe! WHere is my hoe?
Dan: Whoe, hold your horses, its not that simple, this is what we are gonna do, *whisper whisper*
*a few nights later, Kei, Joe, Dan, Ruby, Jin (dressed as Ryu), and Sakura all go out to eat at the China Buffet*
Joe: We spared no expense!
Jin: I hate Chinese food
Sakura: But Ryu, you once told me you liked Chinese Food
Jin: Did I say hate, I meant, um, Hadoken!
Sakura: Tee hee hee, your so cute!
Kei: Thanks for setting Sakura up with Ryu, Joe
Joe: Dont mention it, me and RighYou go along way back
Kei: Righyou? whose that?
Joe: Oh I meant Ryu
Dan: Hey, Ryu, pass the garlic suace
Jin: *doesn't notice*
Dan: Ryu!
Jin: *eats dupling*
Dan: Jin!
Jin: What?
Sakura: Jin?
Jin: Um, Shoryuken!
Ruby: Hey, Im kinda tired, lets all go home.
*that night*
*In Dan's bedroom*
Ruby: It sure did turn out nice today didn't it
Dan: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Ruby: Didn't it?
Dan: zzzzzzzz, don worry, I'll rescue you Zelda!
Ruby: *cuddles up under Dan's arm*
Audience: Awwwwwwwww
*In Joe's Bedroom*
Joe: Holy crap!!! Aaaaahhhh!
Kei: Can ya feel that huh? Does it feel good you jiggalo Joe? Thats what you are, your my Gigalo Joe!
Joe: *voice cracks* JEE*ZUS!
Kei: *smacks him* Weee doggie! Show me that Screw Upper!
*On the fold out coach bed*
Jin: Wow that was fun
Sakura: *smoking a cigar* Sure was...
Jin: Sakura, I have a confession to make, Im not really Ryu, Im Jin
Sakura: Oh, ok
Jin: Your not mad
Sakura: Not really, see Im not really Sakura
Jin: What?
Sakura: *takes off mask*
Jin: Noo! It cant be! eeeehh, Im possible!
Cable: Dont be so surprised, you said you liked it.
Jin: Noooo!
Cable: Lets do it again, come on!
Jin: What have you done with Sakura!!!
Cable: Tied her up, would you like me to do that with you baby?
Jin: AAAHHH! *runs out of the house*
Cable: Wait come back!
Cable: Come on back! Ill wear the Sailor Suit again!
Jin: *stops running* No, I cant run from my problems. This psycho has kidnapped Sakura, and its up to me to save her and tap that ass!
Jin: *turns around* You! Stop right there!
Cable: Oh, finaly turned to your senses girlfriend.
Jin: *clenches fist* Why you..... BLOODIA! *flaming punches Cable*
Cable: Whaaa! *flys into a store window*
Jin: *runs up to the sidewalk* Where is Sakura sicko!
*Grenade bounces out of the store into the sidewalk*
Jin: DDaaahh!
*grenade explodes causeing Jin and debri to fly everywhere*
Cable: *walks into the street* You want to do it the hard way, thats ok, you don't have to be conscience for what I want to do to ya....
Jin: *walks out of the dust all dramatic like* Where is Sakura!
Cable: I am Sakura, I have the sailor suit to prove it *Does Crack Down punch*
Jin: *counters and slaps*
Jin: Where is she!!
Cable: GGGgrrrr! *grabs Jin and throws him, attaching a grenade to him before he leaves*
Jin: *lands in a parked car* Owie! *Car explodes* Double Owie!
Cable: Ha that finished him off for sure, I would be wasting my time to wait 5 seconds for the dust to clear to start laughing so I will start now, hahahaahah!
Jin: *emerges holding a street light pole*
Jin: Blooodia! *smacks Cable up beside the head with it*
Cable: *pulls out his gun and shoots at Jin*
Jin: EEEEEKKK A GUN!
Cable: Fall before my phallus gun! Bang bang bang bang bang. Viper Beam, HYPER Viper beam!
Jin: WWWWAAAAHHHHH!!! *falls down*
Cable: Haha, now I will have my way with him, what?
Jin: Thats cute, ya want to break out the hard-ware huh? *holds hand to the sky*
Jin: I need Megazord power now!! *does a ballerina dance and hops into Bloodia*
Cable: Uh oh!
Jin: Lock on, FIYAAHHH!! *shoots machine guns*
Cable: AAAHHHH!!! *runs away like a little girl with the gun explosions hitting the pavement behind him*
Jin: Squeal Piggie!
Cable: I need a TIME FLIP! *another Cable appears*
Cable2: Its Magic!
Cable: I need an air Hyper Viper Beam
Cable2: I shall do one with me!
Cable1&2: *jumps in the air and fires Hyper Viper Beam*
Jin: Bwahaha, that gun cant effect my Cyberbot!
Cable: What am I gonna do?
Cable2: I should cross the streams!
Cable: But I said I should never cross the streams!
Cable2: I was wrong, do it!
Cables: *cross the streams and blow up Bloodia*
Jin: Ow that hurt!
Cable: If you think that hurt, wait till you feel the pain of what I will do to you after I get done with you
Cable: 2 for 1 baby!
Jin: No way!
Jin: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH *Turns Super Satome and glows yellow*
Cable: ehhh eeeeehhhhh heeh eeehhhhh
Cable2: Im- impossible!
Jin: *gets spikey blonde hair*
Jin: *jumps in the middle of the 2 Cables and does*
Jin: Ultimateeee, Typhoon/cyclone/thingie!!!!
Cable2: *fades away*
Cable: Doh, you beat me!
Jin: Now tell me where Sakura is.
Cable: I sold her to M Bison as a science experiment.
Jin: M Bison the boss of Food Lion!
Cable: yeah,
Jin: Great, on my way!
*Jin arrives at Dan's Pad the morning after*
Kei:*is taking a pill* Hey Jin, where is Sakura?
Jin: M Bison the boss of Food Lion has her
Joe: M Bison isn't the boss of Food Lion
Jin: Cable said he was
Dan: That must have been a typo on Oni's part.
Jin: Damn, then where is he?
Ruby: *Is reading the paper and smoking a cigarette, one of those long Cruella Deville deals* Hmm, Charlie has been kidnapped I see.
Jin: Focus on the situation!
Kei: Doesn't Bison have a mansion up on a spooky hill
Joe: Yes he sure does
Jin: Ill go save her
Ruby: Wait, you cant do it alone, M Bison probly has that place trapped and you will need help
Jin: So your gonna help?
Ruby: Oh not me, Dan you go
Dan: Whhhhaaaatttttt?
Kei: Oh Sakura, boo hoo hoo, my best friend, go rescue her Joe, or I wont be able to love you ever again
Joe: *is already out the door* Lets go!
Jin: Lets take Dan's car!
Dan: I have a car!!?
Ruby: You sure do honey, its in the garage
Dan: Oh yeah, I remember, I hid it in there, but I could never find it I hid it so well! Im a genius!
*Jin, Dan and Joe are standing at the top of Bison's driveway*
Jin: Ok this looks like the old mansion, Im sure I saw Bison take Sakura in here. Its up to us to get her out!
Joe: *opens a can of Mountain Dew*
Jin: *turns to Dan and Joe* This could be dangerous, if anyone wants out...
Dan: Ok Im outta here!
Jin: Dan, dont be a tuna head, its Sakura were talking about here!
Dan: Oh, OK
Joe: Let's Dew It! *crushes empty can and tosses away, then slaps the sides of his head* Ora Ora!!
Dan: So how do we get into the mansion?
Jin: Uhhhmmm.... We can try looking for a key under the doormat.
Joe: So simple its impossible to fail!
*the trio run up to the porch*
Dan: *tries door* Its locked
Jin: *pushes mat and gets key* I got the *DING DONG*
...cutscene!...
Geese Howard: Cripey!!! That must be my package!
...Back to our heroes...
Jin: Dan! I got the key right here!
Dan: *giggling* Come on lets go hide!
Joe: *hides in the bushes
Jin: Waaahh! *hides beneath the porch*
Dan: Hee hee hee, this is so funny! *hides under the doormat*
Geese: *busts into the front porch*
Geese: What! Someone is playing tricks on me! *looks down* Whats this? *picks up a note*
The Note:
*picture of Dan giving thumbs up*
Your my number one Fan!
Remember Saikyo is Number one!
~Dan Hibiki
Geese: *crumples note* I'll get them next time!
*The Heroes Emerge from there hiding places*
Jin: Phew that was close, now I'll unlock the door
Joe: Yeah, Lets go gettem!
Dan: *is rolling on the floor laughing*
Joe: Come on Dan! *grabs collar and drags him as they walk through the doorway*
Jin: Wow, what a mansion!
Joe: I'll search this floor, Jin you go upstairs.
Dan: I'll take the kitchen!
Joe: Ok!
Jin: Are you sure splitting up is such a good idea?
Joe: It works in the movies
Jin: But in the movies something always horrible happens to them like that
Joe: But the good guys always win in the end
Jin: Oh yeah, dont want to jinx that now do we
Joe: Nope, good luck!
*Dan slowly walks into the kitchen*
Dan: Im kinda hungry, where is the fridge?
Dan: *looks across the room and sees the fridge open and a nice ass in a thong*
Dan: I could recognize that booty anywhere!
Cammy: Hey, wheres the Sunny D! Im gonna get so fat eating all this food! Hey a leftover Turkey leg!
Dan: *smacks Cammy's right Glutuos Maximus* How ya doing sweet thing!
Cammy: EEEKKK!! *turns around* Dan!!! Your mine!
Dan: Whoe, I thought you where a good guy!
Cammy: Have you forgot that Im Bison's duaghter?
Dan: I thought you where his wife?
Cammy: Actually im his clone, but who cares about story when your in a fighting game! Now Im gonna make ya pay!
Dan: EEEEKKK!! *goes for a knife thats hung on the wall*
Dan: Dah! They are glued to the wall, whats up with that!?!
Cammy: Hahah!
Dan: Ha! I don't have anything to worry about, I can take you! *gets in fighting stance*
Cammy: *grips Dan's "meat and two"*
Dan: *freezes* Ok ya got me!
Cammy: Dont make me sqeeze, now come along queitly!
*Dan is tossed face first into the dungeon*
Cammy: Next time I will tie you to my bed!! Ha! *slams and locks door*
Dan: *rubs his precious materials* In that case, I have to excape!
Dan: *looks around and sees a big vault door*
Dan: Hmmmm, *reads spraypainted message on door*
Dan: "Seecrit Labertory: Ets a seecrit" I dont think thats the exit
Dan: *finds a brick labeled: "Please dont push, thanks you: The Managment"
Dan: Ha! Eat this managment! *pushes brick*
Door: *opens*
Dan: YAHHOOOII!! *makes a mad dash for the door*
Door: *slams in Dan's face*
Dan: *nose breaks* OOOOOWOWWWWWWWIIIIIIIEEEEEE! Why you, Ill show ya! *runs back over to the brick and pushes it*
Door: *opens*
Dan: *makes a mad dash*
Door: *slams*
Dan: OOOOWWWWIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!
Meanwhile............
*the books on the shelves vibrated as a another load thump was heard, followed by a muffled scream of Owie*
Joe: *looking up at ceiling* House must be settling, Oh well, *goes back to reading a book entitled "The Karma Sutra for Super Villians with Psycho Power"*
Joe: *brow furrows as he is deep in thought* Sure, they can draw it, but can they do it *sigh* Ok, back to buisness *closes book and places it back on the shelf*
Joe: There is always a secret door in these mansions, all I got to do is find the right book. *begins going through books*
Joe: Hey whats this? *opens a book and find that its one of them book safe deals, y'know, fake book used to store things*
Joe: *takes out a cassette tape and a polaroid, and looks at poloroid*
Joe: Well, I guess they CAN do it *looks at cassette label*
Joe: "Fatal Fury verses Barney: By Onikirimaru" Wow this is so cool! You bet I'll take this, Oni is the man!
Joe: Now that the first floor is clean, I guess Ill go upstairs....
Jin: *walking along the hallway* Hmm, this really bites, what sucky wallpaper. Whats this? *reads a sign on door*
Jin: O-f-f-i-c-e Off Ice? Orafice? Bison's Orafice? No wait, Office! Its Bison's Office! Hooked on Phonics, works for me! *enters office*
Jin: Damn, no lights! *rummages around*
Jin: *trips* ooof!
Jin: *thump* Ow!
Dog: woof!
Jin: dang!
Cow: moo!
Jin: Thats not right...
Woman: Eeeek! *slap*
Jin: sorry, its dark!
Jin: *finds light* Click!
*Jin has cut on the office desk lamp, there is a large file on the desk*
Jin: Whats this? *opens*
Jin: Hmm, a newspaper clipping, about Charlie being kidnapped.....
Jin: What? A page from the Yellow pages with plastic surgeons...
Jin: Name change deeds? For Ryu and Ken's last names........
Jin: DNA information? Blanka's DNA sample? What is all this about?
Jin: Ohhhhhhh crap *looks at a sheet of paper*
Jin: My, god. Bison is a madman! Im-possible
Jin: I have to find the others! *pockets the paper*
Jin: *leaves the office just as Joe walks past it, and goes downstairs*
Joe: Alot of steps, uh oh! Busted!
E Honda: Feed me!
Joe: I give up!
Honda: Feed me and you can pass!
Joe: What?
Honda: Look, I dont care that you broke into the house, I don't care that you want to kill Bison, I don't even care if ya want to steal my Billy Idol tapes, I just want some food and Im to much of a fat ass to fit in the kitchen to get it.
Joe: Oh, well, *digs around in his pockets* I got a Baby Ruth...
Honda: Bay Bee, Rooth?
Joe: Yeah...
Honda: Bay Bee Rooth! Bay Bee Rooth! *begins jiggling with excitment*
Joe: Gawd! Take it thats disqusting! *chucks candybar*
Honda: *Begins munching on candy bar* Yummy yummy yummy I got choclate in my tummy
Joe: Now why dont you like, leave or something.
Honda: Okie Day! *climbs up the stairs*
Joe: *accidently gets a glimpse under the towel* Ahhh! *voice cracks* Jee^zus!
Joe: *is at the top of the stairs*
Joe: Damn, so many rooms which one should I pick, I will start with this one...
Joe: *opens first door, its Geese Howards Room*
Geese: HALT! Are you the delivery boy?
Joe: Me? No
Geese: Yes you are! Where is my package boy!
Joe: Im not the delivery boy
Geese: Your not? to the dungeon!
Joe: Wait! No! I am! Ha ha I was joking
Geese: Where is my package!
Joe: Um, in the truck, I'll go get it!
Geese: Hurry up, I must stop Bison!
Joe: phew, that was close, now Ill try another door.
Joe: Hmm, a bathroom, someone is in the shower too.. heee heee, I cant resist *sneaks up*
Joe's Logic Sense: WAIT what if its E Honda, or Raiden!
Joe's Booty Sense: Nope, it defintally isn't Honda, Im the booty sense and I get a off the scale reading
Joe: *pulls back curtain*
Mai Shiranui: EEEEEKKKK!!!
King: Whoops!! *hides behind Mai*
Joe: *jaw hits the floor*
Joe's Pleasure Sense: JJJJEEEEEZZZUUUSSSS!!!!
Joe's Booty Sense: I told you all
Joe's Pleasure Sense: *buys Booty Sense a drink*
Joe's Logic Sense: *jumps out the window*
Joe: Its, Mai! Mai and the twins!!! And then there is King! King IN THE SHOWER WITH YOU!! AAAAAAHHHHH Weee! Weee! Wee! *begins to drool and studder* Dahhh, dah, dahhh, dah. Kah, Kah, Keeennnggg. Mai mai mai mai, heeheeheeheee.
*Joe wakes up in the dungeon, finding Dan chanting over him*
Dan: Yo Joe, You Got to Get tough! Yo Joe!
Joe: Where am I
Dan: In the dungeon, King brought you in here with a bathtowel rapped around her, what was that about?
Joe: King? bathtowel, OH YEAHH!! Kah, kah King, hee hee hee! And Mai, shower, heee hee *begins to zone out*
Dan: *slaps* snap out of it! We got to get out of here!
Joe: How!
Dan: Let me show you
Dan: *walks him over to the brick* When I press this, the door opens, like so. *presses*
Joe: The doors open!
Dan & Joe: *Make a mad dash*
Door: *slams in there faces*
D&J: OOOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!
Dan: I almost had it this time!
Joe: Lets try it again!
D&J: *go back to brick*
Joe: Ready?
Dan: Yeah! *presses brick*
D&J: *make a mad dash*
Door: *slams in there faces*
D&J: OOWWWWWWWOWWWOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!
Joe: We almost had it!
Later On....
Dan & Joe: *Panting and fatigued* We just arnt fast enough!
Door: *opens*
D&J: Lets go!! *mad dash*
D&J: *plow over Jin*
Jin: Dah!!
Dan: YAHHOOII! We did it!
Joe: RARA!
Jin: You morons! I unlocked the door!
Dan: Oh, hi Jin, did you see us just escape from the dungeon?
Joe: We where great!
Jin: ........
Dan: So you find Sakura yet?
Jin: No, its much more important than that now!
Joe: Nothing is more important than that booty Jin
Jin: No, THIS is! *takes out peice of paper from Bison's office*
Joe: What is it
*The paper has 2 pictures on it, on the top it has "Prof. Baldhead's surgery plan" the picture on the left is of Bison, with BEFORE written under it, on the right is a picture of Rual Julia with AFTER under it*
Joe: Hey its Gomez!
Dan: I don't get it
Jin: Dont you see???? *camera starts spinning around Jin as he divulgeous supremely important information
Jin: Bison wants to look like Gomez Addams, he kidnapped Charlie and and wants to combine him with Blanka's DNA, he wants to change Ryu and Ken's last names, HE WANTS THE STORY OF STREET FIGHTER THE MOVIE TO BE REALITY!
Dan: Oh my GOD! *shrieks*
Joe: Jee^zus *voice cracks*
Jin: We have to stop him!
Dan: I found the door to the lab! *points to himself as if there was more than one person "I" could refer to*
Jin: Good Job! Show us!
*the three go to the door*
Jin: Damn, thats 3 foot steel!
Joe: Now what?
*The 3 stare at the door for 5 min 33 seconds*
Dan: Wait I know! *opens the door*
Joe: It was unlocked?
Dan: Well, duh
Jin: Yo Joe! Lets go!
Dan: I'll catch up, there is one more thing I must do....
Joe and Jin run into the inner sanctum and skid to a halt
Jin: Wow would you look at this place
Charlie: *is trapped in a glass tube* Help Im trapped in a glass tube
Mexican: Hola, I am proffesor *reads his script* Dhalsim
Joe: Your not Dhalsim, your a mexican! *punches him in the stomach many times*
Jean Claude Van Damme: Hoy geys!
Joe: What he say?
Jean: Um jeanclaudevandaaaaaaaammmmmmmm
Jin: Sakura!
Sakura: Jin look out behind you
Jin: Oh no!
Sakura: Quick turn around!
Jin: Its always to late when someone says that!
Sakura: Its not to late, turn around, well now its too late
SOCK-O!
DING DONG!
Geese: *Comes running out of house*
Geese: Where are you!!! Show yourself! Bring me my Commando Package!
Dan: *giggles in the bushes*
Geese: *Slams door*
Dan: Well that was fun, now to help my friends, wha!?! Geese locked the door!!!! Whaaa!!
*Jin and Joe awake tied to the wall of Bison's domain*
Bison: Aha! Welcome! To the rebirth of history!
Jin: You psycho! Let Sakura go! And me too! so I can Tap that ass!
Sakura: Oh Jin *blushes*
Joe: Dont forget about me!!
Jean: ha ha Ull neber excap fun beer
Joe: What he say?
Jin: Something about fun beer?
Bison: Dont worry about what he said! Just know that your life ends now. Well, not know, but sooner than later
Jin: *struggles at restraints* You'll never get away with this Bison!
Bison: Oh yeah? Watch me, nanny nanny boo boo!
Jin: Bison! GGGGGGRRRRR!! Why did you bring Sakura into your twisted sceme, why couldn't you just be content with that cartoon series that you produced?
Bison: Well, the lab was kinda dull, and I thought a captive girl would spruce the place up some
Jin: Bison, you will get yours!
Bison: from who? You? Your chained up. So is your friend. Your finished.
Joe: If i could get down I would whoop you good
Jean: Ull bave two get buy me herst!
Joe: Yeah, you can bet I/ll buy you a hearse when we are through!
Bison: Jean Pual hasn't had a good movie since Street Fighter, so I happily hired him, in fact he is the key to my plan. When I am done he will be the leader of the Street Fighters!
Joe: Let me go or I will destroy THIS! *brings out Fatal Fury vs Barney tape*
Bison: Go ahead, I can Download the Mp3 on Napster
Joe: But what if the search brings up nothing?
Bison: I would put Oni-sami on my Hot List and DL it directly from Onikirimaru!
Joe: But Napster isnt working anymore!
Bison: Im sure that I can just review his story and request it in my review, and he will email it to me
*Oh No! With Jin and Joe locked up, and Dan locked out! Who will save the day?
*Dan is sitting on the porch counting the stars*
Kyo: Hey punk!
Dan: What?
Kyo: Sign for this package before I whoop you good!
Dan: Your just a delivery boy!
Kyo: Shut up! I can make fire!
Dan: What is this package?
Kyo: Its for Geese
Dan: Ill sign for it
Kyo: *hands over sheet*
Dan: *signs sheet, shows it to Kyo, and throws it at him*
Dan: This must be Geese's Commando package *takes off wrapping*
*Captain Commando is on the box with the Caption "You too can be a Super Commando Elite and save the Day"*
Dan: YAHHOOIII! *opens box and dumps contents on the ground*
Dan: *pops the poppy paper* Pop pop pop! YAHOOI!
Dan: Whats this? Sunglasses? *picks up red glasses*
Dan: Sunglasses!! *puts them on and is surrounded by a beam of light and transforms into...*
Captain Saikyo: YAHHOOII!! Im a Commando Elite just like Captain Commando! Now to vanquish evil!
CapS: *Runs up to door*
Caps: *poses Captain FIYYAAHHH!! *burns door down*
CapS: *poses*
Geese: Hey you got my Commando Package!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: Captain COORRIDAHH!
Geese: *gets smacked* Looks like Geese Howard is blasting off again........*pip*
CapS: *poses*
*Captain Saikyo runs into Bison's inner Sanctum*
CapS: *poses*
CapS: BISON!!!
CapS: *poses*
Jin and Joe: Dan! Unlock us!
Caps: *goes to unlock Joe*
Sakura: Dan? Is that you!
Bison: Dan, you cant stop me! Get him Jean!
Joe: Dan! You take Bison, Ill handle Jean Crap over here!
CapS: *poses*
Bison: You fool! You cannot stop me! *does Sissors kick*
CapS: *poses and blocks*
CapS: Eat this! *attaches lighting arm to Bison's chest and begins electrocuting* SSSAAAAIIKKYOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Bison: Ahhh! *breaks hold* Childs play! *flies up in the air to do head stomp*
CapS: Captain COORIIDAAHHHH!!
Bison: *teleports behind Dan*
CapS: WHAT!?
Bison: PSYCHO CRUSHAHHH!
CapS: WWWAAAHHHH!! *is sent to the wall*
Jin: Dan! NO!
Bison: Imputence! I will not have you in My Movie! *starts to beat down Dan*
Bison: Ha! Your finished *walks off leaving Dan crumpled in the corner, his moral broken*
Joe: *knocks Jean Claude's head off and it rolls in front of Dan*
Jean's Severed Head: Don, do bave bo bet bup und faght, bor Biyson bill took over da whorld, dome peoplies cun not be talkened too, use habe tos fight!
CapS: I don't know what you just said, but your right!!! I have to defeat Bison!
CapS: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *gets blonde hair*
Bison: Wha-what?
CapS: WWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *powers up*
Bison: Impossible!!!!
CapS: YYYAAAAAHHH YAAAAHHH YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! YYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOIIIIII!!!!!! *gets surrounded by a giant Pink Fire*
Joe: My god!
Jin: His energy is incredible!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: Saikyo Crushah! *flies into Bison, a spinning in Pink Inferno Fury(tm)*
CapS: *poses*
Bison: NNNNOOOOO!!!!! *burns up* Whatta world! Whatta World!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: *rescues Jin and Sakura*
Sakura: Oh Jin! You came to rescue me, and Ryu didn't even care! Lets go to a movie!
So, Bison was defeated, Jin popped the Cherry of Sakura's Cherry Blossum Kick, Joe got a girlfriend, Dan got Super Powers, the plot of Street Fighter The Movie was forgotten once and for all, and Joe got to see King and Mai in the shower. I think thats 100 Groove Points for the good guys
~Fin
Joe: Uhmm, here I would like these.
Kyosuke the clerk: *adjusts glasses while reading the title* Hmm, a, ah, interesting selection
Joe: Yeah yeah here is the money *throws money at Kyosuke*
Kyosuke: Allow me to get a brown paper bag
Joe: Ha ha very funny gimmiethat! *snatch*
*as he is exiting the video store he hears a cry from a nearby ally*
???: Help!
Joe: damn! *runs into the ally*
*Kei (sakuras friend, I am told her name is Kei) is laying on the ground looking spooked*
Kei: But, I already gave you all my money!
Sodom: Eeeheehee, yes and thanks, but I want to take something of more value to you, eeeheeeheee
Kei: Like what?
Sodom: Eeeheehee, you know
Kei: My purse?
Sodom: Something you save for someone very special, and I will take it!
Kei: My shoes?
Sodom: No, something you can only give to someone once, and then you can never get it back!! Not without reconstructive surgery, of course?
Kei: What are you gonna do with my socks?
Sodom: Let me show you what I mean!
Joe: Wait!
Sodom: Eh? Who are you? *reads Food Lion name tag* Ok Joe, move on out before I have to thrast you!
Joe: *Throws movies on the ground* You obviosly don't know who your dealing with! *rips Shirt and pants off revealing his boxer shorts and his taped fists*
Sodom: Sorry pal, but your jumping the gun I think, I caught her first, so you get sloppy seconds!
Joe: I don't wanna help you I wanna hurt you! Hey is it drafty in here?
Kei: oooo, heeeheehee
Joe: Doh! Stupid fly! *adjust boxers accordingly*
Sodom: *rushes at Joe slashing with his Sai thingies*
Joe: *Dodges, then grabs his arm and knees his elbow*
Sodom: AAARRGGHH!
Joe: TIGER KICK! *knee to da face*
Sodom: *A star twinkles over Sodom's head*
Joe: You should have joined the Nintendo Fun Club, you Ass! SCREW UPPPAAHH!
Sodom: *dies*
Kei: *getting up* Oh wow! Thanks you for saving me *hugs Joe* I was so scared!
Joe: Hey don't worry about it, I'll walk you home.
Kei: Oh you dont have to do that, lets go back to your house and watch your videos, its the least I could do to repay you *picks up video* Lets see what you have here.....
Joe: No, wait umm
Kei: oh wow I love dogs!
Joe: I don't think ya understa...
Kei: *hooks arm* Lets go!
*back at Joe's room at Dan's pad*
Joe: So you like these kinda movies huh?
Kei: Oh wow they are so cool! *is entranced by the film*
Dan: *peeking through the door with a polaroid camera*
Joe: Dan git atta here!
Dan: Oh sorry, I thought I heard a dog barking in here
Joe: Oh sorry, Ill cut the volume down
Dan: *does a double take at the TV Screen* Hey I didn't think that was legal in this state
Joe: GET OUT!
Kei: Wow! This is so cool!
Joe: If you think Fido knows how to do it why don't you let me show you some of my moves
Kei: Ewww thats gross!
Joe: Eh? IM GROSS!
Kei: Hehe, yeah! Your a boy!
Joe: Wha...but, hey!
Kei: Hehe you are kinda good looking and all, but Im not ready for..that yet.
Joe: Whaaaaaaaaaaat
Kei: Me and my best friend Sakura said we would wait until we can get laid together!
Joe: *picks up phone* Whats her number?
Kei: Hehe, no silly, not with one guy! Just at the same night or something
Joe: OK OK, what if I set her up with someone
Kei: She likes Ryu a whole lot. She said she wants him to be her first
*movie ends*
Kei: Call me sometime, k Joe?
Joe: OK
*Joe goes into the kitchen and gets a some food and then sits down in the living room and snaps into his slim Jim*
Joe: *is so deep in thought he doesn't notice Dan sitting on the coach with a big grin on his face*
Dan: So?
Joe: AAAH! You scared me!
Dan: Give me the juicy details
Joe: Oh, nevermind
Dan; Come on and tell me, pretend I dont have a camera hidden in your room.
Joe: She wont get laid until Sakura gets laid
Dan: *picks up phone* Whats her number?
Joe: That wont work, she wants Ryu something awful
Dan: BWahahah!
Joe: Whats so funny
Dan: Ryu doesn't have time to have a life, he is training to much.
Joe: Then what?
Dan: I have an idea *picks up phone*
Dan: Hello? Hey
Phone: blahblahblah
Dan: This is Dan, wait dont hang up! Sakura's purity is at stake!
Phone: Blah! Blah blah!!
Dan: Come on over. We will sort it out.
Joe: Who was that?
Dan: You'll see when he gets over here, which should be any minute now....
????: BLOOODIAA!!! *crashes down door*
Dan: Jin, my man! Meet Joe!
Jin: Yo Joe! WHere is my hoe?
Dan: Whoe, hold your horses, its not that simple, this is what we are gonna do, *whisper whisper*
*a few nights later, Kei, Joe, Dan, Ruby, Jin (dressed as Ryu), and Sakura all go out to eat at the China Buffet*
Joe: We spared no expense!
Jin: I hate Chinese food
Sakura: But Ryu, you once told me you liked Chinese Food
Jin: Did I say hate, I meant, um, Hadoken!
Sakura: Tee hee hee, your so cute!
Kei: Thanks for setting Sakura up with Ryu, Joe
Joe: Dont mention it, me and RighYou go along way back
Kei: Righyou? whose that?
Joe: Oh I meant Ryu
Dan: Hey, Ryu, pass the garlic suace
Jin: *doesn't notice*
Dan: Ryu!
Jin: *eats dupling*
Dan: Jin!
Jin: What?
Sakura: Jin?
Jin: Um, Shoryuken!
Ruby: Hey, Im kinda tired, lets all go home.
*that night*
*In Dan's bedroom*
Ruby: It sure did turn out nice today didn't it
Dan: zzzzzzzzzzzz
Ruby: Didn't it?
Dan: zzzzzzzz, don worry, I'll rescue you Zelda!
Ruby: *cuddles up under Dan's arm*
Audience: Awwwwwwwww
*In Joe's Bedroom*
Joe: Holy crap!!! Aaaaahhhh!
Kei: Can ya feel that huh? Does it feel good you jiggalo Joe? Thats what you are, your my Gigalo Joe!
Joe: *voice cracks* JEE*ZUS!
Kei: *smacks him* Weee doggie! Show me that Screw Upper!
*On the fold out coach bed*
Jin: Wow that was fun
Sakura: *smoking a cigar* Sure was...
Jin: Sakura, I have a confession to make, Im not really Ryu, Im Jin
Sakura: Oh, ok
Jin: Your not mad
Sakura: Not really, see Im not really Sakura
Jin: What?
Sakura: *takes off mask*
Jin: Noo! It cant be! eeeehh, Im possible!
Cable: Dont be so surprised, you said you liked it.
Jin: Noooo!
Cable: Lets do it again, come on!
Jin: What have you done with Sakura!!!
Cable: Tied her up, would you like me to do that with you baby?
Jin: AAAHHH! *runs out of the house*
Cable: Wait come back!
Cable: Come on back! Ill wear the Sailor Suit again!
Jin: *stops running* No, I cant run from my problems. This psycho has kidnapped Sakura, and its up to me to save her and tap that ass!
Jin: *turns around* You! Stop right there!
Cable: Oh, finaly turned to your senses girlfriend.
Jin: *clenches fist* Why you..... BLOODIA! *flaming punches Cable*
Cable: Whaaa! *flys into a store window*
Jin: *runs up to the sidewalk* Where is Sakura sicko!
*Grenade bounces out of the store into the sidewalk*
Jin: DDaaahh!
*grenade explodes causeing Jin and debri to fly everywhere*
Cable: *walks into the street* You want to do it the hard way, thats ok, you don't have to be conscience for what I want to do to ya....
Jin: *walks out of the dust all dramatic like* Where is Sakura!
Cable: I am Sakura, I have the sailor suit to prove it *Does Crack Down punch*
Jin: *counters and slaps*
Jin: Where is she!!
Cable: GGGgrrrr! *grabs Jin and throws him, attaching a grenade to him before he leaves*
Jin: *lands in a parked car* Owie! *Car explodes* Double Owie!
Cable: Ha that finished him off for sure, I would be wasting my time to wait 5 seconds for the dust to clear to start laughing so I will start now, hahahaahah!
Jin: *emerges holding a street light pole*
Jin: Blooodia! *smacks Cable up beside the head with it*
Cable: *pulls out his gun and shoots at Jin*
Jin: EEEEEKKK A GUN!
Cable: Fall before my phallus gun! Bang bang bang bang bang. Viper Beam, HYPER Viper beam!
Jin: WWWWAAAAHHHHH!!! *falls down*
Cable: Haha, now I will have my way with him, what?
Jin: Thats cute, ya want to break out the hard-ware huh? *holds hand to the sky*
Jin: I need Megazord power now!! *does a ballerina dance and hops into Bloodia*
Cable: Uh oh!
Jin: Lock on, FIYAAHHH!! *shoots machine guns*
Cable: AAAHHHH!!! *runs away like a little girl with the gun explosions hitting the pavement behind him*
Jin: Squeal Piggie!
Cable: I need a TIME FLIP! *another Cable appears*
Cable2: Its Magic!
Cable: I need an air Hyper Viper Beam
Cable2: I shall do one with me!
Cable1&2: *jumps in the air and fires Hyper Viper Beam*
Jin: Bwahaha, that gun cant effect my Cyberbot!
Cable: What am I gonna do?
Cable2: I should cross the streams!
Cable: But I said I should never cross the streams!
Cable2: I was wrong, do it!
Cables: *cross the streams and blow up Bloodia*
Jin: Ow that hurt!
Cable: If you think that hurt, wait till you feel the pain of what I will do to you after I get done with you
Cable: 2 for 1 baby!
Jin: No way!
Jin: WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH *Turns Super Satome and glows yellow*
Cable: ehhh eeeeehhhhh heeh eeehhhhh
Cable2: Im- impossible!
Jin: *gets spikey blonde hair*
Jin: *jumps in the middle of the 2 Cables and does*
Jin: Ultimateeee, Typhoon/cyclone/thingie!!!!
Cable2: *fades away*
Cable: Doh, you beat me!
Jin: Now tell me where Sakura is.
Cable: I sold her to M Bison as a science experiment.
Jin: M Bison the boss of Food Lion!
Cable: yeah,
Jin: Great, on my way!
*Jin arrives at Dan's Pad the morning after*
Kei:*is taking a pill* Hey Jin, where is Sakura?
Jin: M Bison the boss of Food Lion has her
Joe: M Bison isn't the boss of Food Lion
Jin: Cable said he was
Dan: That must have been a typo on Oni's part.
Jin: Damn, then where is he?
Ruby: *Is reading the paper and smoking a cigarette, one of those long Cruella Deville deals* Hmm, Charlie has been kidnapped I see.
Jin: Focus on the situation!
Kei: Doesn't Bison have a mansion up on a spooky hill
Joe: Yes he sure does
Jin: Ill go save her
Ruby: Wait, you cant do it alone, M Bison probly has that place trapped and you will need help
Jin: So your gonna help?
Ruby: Oh not me, Dan you go
Dan: Whhhhaaaatttttt?
Kei: Oh Sakura, boo hoo hoo, my best friend, go rescue her Joe, or I wont be able to love you ever again
Joe: *is already out the door* Lets go!
Jin: Lets take Dan's car!
Dan: I have a car!!?
Ruby: You sure do honey, its in the garage
Dan: Oh yeah, I remember, I hid it in there, but I could never find it I hid it so well! Im a genius!
*Jin, Dan and Joe are standing at the top of Bison's driveway*
Jin: Ok this looks like the old mansion, Im sure I saw Bison take Sakura in here. Its up to us to get her out!
Joe: *opens a can of Mountain Dew*
Jin: *turns to Dan and Joe* This could be dangerous, if anyone wants out...
Dan: Ok Im outta here!
Jin: Dan, dont be a tuna head, its Sakura were talking about here!
Dan: Oh, OK
Joe: Let's Dew It! *crushes empty can and tosses away, then slaps the sides of his head* Ora Ora!!
Dan: So how do we get into the mansion?
Jin: Uhhhmmm.... We can try looking for a key under the doormat.
Joe: So simple its impossible to fail!
*the trio run up to the porch*
Dan: *tries door* Its locked
Jin: *pushes mat and gets key* I got the *DING DONG*
...cutscene!...
Geese Howard: Cripey!!! That must be my package!
...Back to our heroes...
Jin: Dan! I got the key right here!
Dan: *giggling* Come on lets go hide!
Joe: *hides in the bushes
Jin: Waaahh! *hides beneath the porch*
Dan: Hee hee hee, this is so funny! *hides under the doormat*
Geese: *busts into the front porch*
Geese: What! Someone is playing tricks on me! *looks down* Whats this? *picks up a note*
The Note:
*picture of Dan giving thumbs up*
Your my number one Fan!
Remember Saikyo is Number one!
~Dan Hibiki
Geese: *crumples note* I'll get them next time!
*The Heroes Emerge from there hiding places*
Jin: Phew that was close, now I'll unlock the door
Joe: Yeah, Lets go gettem!
Dan: *is rolling on the floor laughing*
Joe: Come on Dan! *grabs collar and drags him as they walk through the doorway*
Jin: Wow, what a mansion!
Joe: I'll search this floor, Jin you go upstairs.
Dan: I'll take the kitchen!
Joe: Ok!
Jin: Are you sure splitting up is such a good idea?
Joe: It works in the movies
Jin: But in the movies something always horrible happens to them like that
Joe: But the good guys always win in the end
Jin: Oh yeah, dont want to jinx that now do we
Joe: Nope, good luck!
*Dan slowly walks into the kitchen*
Dan: Im kinda hungry, where is the fridge?
Dan: *looks across the room and sees the fridge open and a nice ass in a thong*
Dan: I could recognize that booty anywhere!
Cammy: Hey, wheres the Sunny D! Im gonna get so fat eating all this food! Hey a leftover Turkey leg!
Dan: *smacks Cammy's right Glutuos Maximus* How ya doing sweet thing!
Cammy: EEEKKK!! *turns around* Dan!!! Your mine!
Dan: Whoe, I thought you where a good guy!
Cammy: Have you forgot that Im Bison's duaghter?
Dan: I thought you where his wife?
Cammy: Actually im his clone, but who cares about story when your in a fighting game! Now Im gonna make ya pay!
Dan: EEEEKKK!! *goes for a knife thats hung on the wall*
Dan: Dah! They are glued to the wall, whats up with that!?!
Cammy: Hahah!
Dan: Ha! I don't have anything to worry about, I can take you! *gets in fighting stance*
Cammy: *grips Dan's "meat and two"*
Dan: *freezes* Ok ya got me!
Cammy: Dont make me sqeeze, now come along queitly!
*Dan is tossed face first into the dungeon*
Cammy: Next time I will tie you to my bed!! Ha! *slams and locks door*
Dan: *rubs his precious materials* In that case, I have to excape!
Dan: *looks around and sees a big vault door*
Dan: Hmmmm, *reads spraypainted message on door*
Dan: "Seecrit Labertory: Ets a seecrit" I dont think thats the exit
Dan: *finds a brick labeled: "Please dont push, thanks you: The Managment"
Dan: Ha! Eat this managment! *pushes brick*
Door: *opens*
Dan: YAHHOOOII!! *makes a mad dash for the door*
Door: *slams in Dan's face*
Dan: *nose breaks* OOOOOWOWWWWWWWIIIIIIIEEEEEE! Why you, Ill show ya! *runs back over to the brick and pushes it*
Door: *opens*
Dan: *makes a mad dash*
Door: *slams*
Dan: OOOOWWWWIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!
Meanwhile............
*the books on the shelves vibrated as a another load thump was heard, followed by a muffled scream of Owie*
Joe: *looking up at ceiling* House must be settling, Oh well, *goes back to reading a book entitled "The Karma Sutra for Super Villians with Psycho Power"*
Joe: *brow furrows as he is deep in thought* Sure, they can draw it, but can they do it *sigh* Ok, back to buisness *closes book and places it back on the shelf*
Joe: There is always a secret door in these mansions, all I got to do is find the right book. *begins going through books*
Joe: Hey whats this? *opens a book and find that its one of them book safe deals, y'know, fake book used to store things*
Joe: *takes out a cassette tape and a polaroid, and looks at poloroid*
Joe: Well, I guess they CAN do it *looks at cassette label*
Joe: "Fatal Fury verses Barney: By Onikirimaru" Wow this is so cool! You bet I'll take this, Oni is the man!
Joe: Now that the first floor is clean, I guess Ill go upstairs....
Jin: *walking along the hallway* Hmm, this really bites, what sucky wallpaper. Whats this? *reads a sign on door*
Jin: O-f-f-i-c-e Off Ice? Orafice? Bison's Orafice? No wait, Office! Its Bison's Office! Hooked on Phonics, works for me! *enters office*
Jin: Damn, no lights! *rummages around*
Jin: *trips* ooof!
Jin: *thump* Ow!
Dog: woof!
Jin: dang!
Cow: moo!
Jin: Thats not right...
Woman: Eeeek! *slap*
Jin: sorry, its dark!
Jin: *finds light* Click!
*Jin has cut on the office desk lamp, there is a large file on the desk*
Jin: Whats this? *opens*
Jin: Hmm, a newspaper clipping, about Charlie being kidnapped.....
Jin: What? A page from the Yellow pages with plastic surgeons...
Jin: Name change deeds? For Ryu and Ken's last names........
Jin: DNA information? Blanka's DNA sample? What is all this about?
Jin: Ohhhhhhh crap *looks at a sheet of paper*
Jin: My, god. Bison is a madman! Im-possible
Jin: I have to find the others! *pockets the paper*
Jin: *leaves the office just as Joe walks past it, and goes downstairs*
Joe: Alot of steps, uh oh! Busted!
E Honda: Feed me!
Joe: I give up!
Honda: Feed me and you can pass!
Joe: What?
Honda: Look, I dont care that you broke into the house, I don't care that you want to kill Bison, I don't even care if ya want to steal my Billy Idol tapes, I just want some food and Im to much of a fat ass to fit in the kitchen to get it.
Joe: Oh, well, *digs around in his pockets* I got a Baby Ruth...
Honda: Bay Bee, Rooth?
Joe: Yeah...
Honda: Bay Bee Rooth! Bay Bee Rooth! *begins jiggling with excitment*
Joe: Gawd! Take it thats disqusting! *chucks candybar*
Honda: *Begins munching on candy bar* Yummy yummy yummy I got choclate in my tummy
Joe: Now why dont you like, leave or something.
Honda: Okie Day! *climbs up the stairs*
Joe: *accidently gets a glimpse under the towel* Ahhh! *voice cracks* Jee^zus!
Joe: *is at the top of the stairs*
Joe: Damn, so many rooms which one should I pick, I will start with this one...
Joe: *opens first door, its Geese Howards Room*
Geese: HALT! Are you the delivery boy?
Joe: Me? No
Geese: Yes you are! Where is my package boy!
Joe: Im not the delivery boy
Geese: Your not? to the dungeon!
Joe: Wait! No! I am! Ha ha I was joking
Geese: Where is my package!
Joe: Um, in the truck, I'll go get it!
Geese: Hurry up, I must stop Bison!
Joe: phew, that was close, now Ill try another door.
Joe: Hmm, a bathroom, someone is in the shower too.. heee heee, I cant resist *sneaks up*
Joe's Logic Sense: WAIT what if its E Honda, or Raiden!
Joe's Booty Sense: Nope, it defintally isn't Honda, Im the booty sense and I get a off the scale reading
Joe: *pulls back curtain*
Mai Shiranui: EEEEEKKKK!!!
King: Whoops!! *hides behind Mai*
Joe: *jaw hits the floor*
Joe's Pleasure Sense: JJJJEEEEEZZZUUUSSSS!!!!
Joe's Booty Sense: I told you all
Joe's Pleasure Sense: *buys Booty Sense a drink*
Joe's Logic Sense: *jumps out the window*
Joe: Its, Mai! Mai and the twins!!! And then there is King! King IN THE SHOWER WITH YOU!! AAAAAAHHHHH Weee! Weee! Wee! *begins to drool and studder* Dahhh, dah, dahhh, dah. Kah, Kah, Keeennnggg. Mai mai mai mai, heeheeheeheee.
*Joe wakes up in the dungeon, finding Dan chanting over him*
Dan: Yo Joe, You Got to Get tough! Yo Joe!
Joe: Where am I
Dan: In the dungeon, King brought you in here with a bathtowel rapped around her, what was that about?
Joe: King? bathtowel, OH YEAHH!! Kah, kah King, hee hee hee! And Mai, shower, heee hee *begins to zone out*
Dan: *slaps* snap out of it! We got to get out of here!
Joe: How!
Dan: Let me show you
Dan: *walks him over to the brick* When I press this, the door opens, like so. *presses*
Joe: The doors open!
Dan & Joe: *Make a mad dash*
Door: *slams in there faces*
D&J: OOOOOOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEEE!!!!!!
Dan: I almost had it this time!
Joe: Lets try it again!
D&J: *go back to brick*
Joe: Ready?
Dan: Yeah! *presses brick*
D&J: *make a mad dash*
Door: *slams in there faces*
D&J: OOWWWWWWWOWWWOWWWWWIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!
Joe: We almost had it!
Later On....
Dan & Joe: *Panting and fatigued* We just arnt fast enough!
Door: *opens*
D&J: Lets go!! *mad dash*
D&J: *plow over Jin*
Jin: Dah!!
Dan: YAHHOOII! We did it!
Joe: RARA!
Jin: You morons! I unlocked the door!
Dan: Oh, hi Jin, did you see us just escape from the dungeon?
Joe: We where great!
Jin: ........
Dan: So you find Sakura yet?
Jin: No, its much more important than that now!
Joe: Nothing is more important than that booty Jin
Jin: No, THIS is! *takes out peice of paper from Bison's office*
Joe: What is it
*The paper has 2 pictures on it, on the top it has "Prof. Baldhead's surgery plan" the picture on the left is of Bison, with BEFORE written under it, on the right is a picture of Rual Julia with AFTER under it*
Joe: Hey its Gomez!
Dan: I don't get it
Jin: Dont you see???? *camera starts spinning around Jin as he divulgeous supremely important information
Jin: Bison wants to look like Gomez Addams, he kidnapped Charlie and and wants to combine him with Blanka's DNA, he wants to change Ryu and Ken's last names, HE WANTS THE STORY OF STREET FIGHTER THE MOVIE TO BE REALITY!
Dan: Oh my GOD! *shrieks*
Joe: Jee^zus *voice cracks*
Jin: We have to stop him!
Dan: I found the door to the lab! *points to himself as if there was more than one person "I" could refer to*
Jin: Good Job! Show us!
*the three go to the door*
Jin: Damn, thats 3 foot steel!
Joe: Now what?
*The 3 stare at the door for 5 min 33 seconds*
Dan: Wait I know! *opens the door*
Joe: It was unlocked?
Dan: Well, duh
Jin: Yo Joe! Lets go!
Dan: I'll catch up, there is one more thing I must do....
Joe and Jin run into the inner sanctum and skid to a halt
Jin: Wow would you look at this place
Charlie: *is trapped in a glass tube* Help Im trapped in a glass tube
Mexican: Hola, I am proffesor *reads his script* Dhalsim
Joe: Your not Dhalsim, your a mexican! *punches him in the stomach many times*
Jean Claude Van Damme: Hoy geys!
Joe: What he say?
Jean: Um jeanclaudevandaaaaaaaammmmmmmm
Jin: Sakura!
Sakura: Jin look out behind you
Jin: Oh no!
Sakura: Quick turn around!
Jin: Its always to late when someone says that!
Sakura: Its not to late, turn around, well now its too late
SOCK-O!
DING DONG!
Geese: *Comes running out of house*
Geese: Where are you!!! Show yourself! Bring me my Commando Package!
Dan: *giggles in the bushes*
Geese: *Slams door*
Dan: Well that was fun, now to help my friends, wha!?! Geese locked the door!!!! Whaaa!!
*Jin and Joe awake tied to the wall of Bison's domain*
Bison: Aha! Welcome! To the rebirth of history!
Jin: You psycho! Let Sakura go! And me too! so I can Tap that ass!
Sakura: Oh Jin *blushes*
Joe: Dont forget about me!!
Jean: ha ha Ull neber excap fun beer
Joe: What he say?
Jin: Something about fun beer?
Bison: Dont worry about what he said! Just know that your life ends now. Well, not know, but sooner than later
Jin: *struggles at restraints* You'll never get away with this Bison!
Bison: Oh yeah? Watch me, nanny nanny boo boo!
Jin: Bison! GGGGGGRRRRR!! Why did you bring Sakura into your twisted sceme, why couldn't you just be content with that cartoon series that you produced?
Bison: Well, the lab was kinda dull, and I thought a captive girl would spruce the place up some
Jin: Bison, you will get yours!
Bison: from who? You? Your chained up. So is your friend. Your finished.
Joe: If i could get down I would whoop you good
Jean: Ull bave two get buy me herst!
Joe: Yeah, you can bet I/ll buy you a hearse when we are through!
Bison: Jean Pual hasn't had a good movie since Street Fighter, so I happily hired him, in fact he is the key to my plan. When I am done he will be the leader of the Street Fighters!
Joe: Let me go or I will destroy THIS! *brings out Fatal Fury vs Barney tape*
Bison: Go ahead, I can Download the Mp3 on Napster
Joe: But what if the search brings up nothing?
Bison: I would put Oni-sami on my Hot List and DL it directly from Onikirimaru!
Joe: But Napster isnt working anymore!
Bison: Im sure that I can just review his story and request it in my review, and he will email it to me
*Oh No! With Jin and Joe locked up, and Dan locked out! Who will save the day?
*Dan is sitting on the porch counting the stars*
Kyo: Hey punk!
Dan: What?
Kyo: Sign for this package before I whoop you good!
Dan: Your just a delivery boy!
Kyo: Shut up! I can make fire!
Dan: What is this package?
Kyo: Its for Geese
Dan: Ill sign for it
Kyo: *hands over sheet*
Dan: *signs sheet, shows it to Kyo, and throws it at him*
Dan: This must be Geese's Commando package *takes off wrapping*
*Captain Commando is on the box with the Caption "You too can be a Super Commando Elite and save the Day"*
Dan: YAHHOOIII! *opens box and dumps contents on the ground*
Dan: *pops the poppy paper* Pop pop pop! YAHOOI!
Dan: Whats this? Sunglasses? *picks up red glasses*
Dan: Sunglasses!! *puts them on and is surrounded by a beam of light and transforms into...*
Captain Saikyo: YAHHOOII!! Im a Commando Elite just like Captain Commando! Now to vanquish evil!
CapS: *Runs up to door*
Caps: *poses Captain FIYYAAHHH!! *burns door down*
CapS: *poses*
Geese: Hey you got my Commando Package!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: Captain COORRIDAHH!
Geese: *gets smacked* Looks like Geese Howard is blasting off again........*pip*
CapS: *poses*
*Captain Saikyo runs into Bison's inner Sanctum*
CapS: *poses*
CapS: BISON!!!
CapS: *poses*
Jin and Joe: Dan! Unlock us!
Caps: *goes to unlock Joe*
Sakura: Dan? Is that you!
Bison: Dan, you cant stop me! Get him Jean!
Joe: Dan! You take Bison, Ill handle Jean Crap over here!
CapS: *poses*
Bison: You fool! You cannot stop me! *does Sissors kick*
CapS: *poses and blocks*
CapS: Eat this! *attaches lighting arm to Bison's chest and begins electrocuting* SSSAAAAIIKKYOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Bison: Ahhh! *breaks hold* Childs play! *flies up in the air to do head stomp*
CapS: Captain COORIIDAAHHHH!!
Bison: *teleports behind Dan*
CapS: WHAT!?
Bison: PSYCHO CRUSHAHHH!
CapS: WWWAAAHHHH!! *is sent to the wall*
Jin: Dan! NO!
Bison: Imputence! I will not have you in My Movie! *starts to beat down Dan*
Bison: Ha! Your finished *walks off leaving Dan crumpled in the corner, his moral broken*
Joe: *knocks Jean Claude's head off and it rolls in front of Dan*
Jean's Severed Head: Don, do bave bo bet bup und faght, bor Biyson bill took over da whorld, dome peoplies cun not be talkened too, use habe tos fight!
CapS: I don't know what you just said, but your right!!! I have to defeat Bison!
CapS: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! *gets blonde hair*
Bison: Wha-what?
CapS: WWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *powers up*
Bison: Impossible!!!!
CapS: YYYAAAAAHHH YAAAAHHH YAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! YYYYYYAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOIIIIII!!!!!! *gets surrounded by a giant Pink Fire*
Joe: My god!
Jin: His energy is incredible!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: Saikyo Crushah! *flies into Bison, a spinning in Pink Inferno Fury(tm)*
CapS: *poses*
Bison: NNNNOOOOO!!!!! *burns up* Whatta world! Whatta World!
CapS: *poses*
CapS: *rescues Jin and Sakura*
Sakura: Oh Jin! You came to rescue me, and Ryu didn't even care! Lets go to a movie!
So, Bison was defeated, Jin popped the Cherry of Sakura's Cherry Blossum Kick, Joe got a girlfriend, Dan got Super Powers, the plot of Street Fighter The Movie was forgotten once and for all, and Joe got to see King and Mai in the shower. I think thats 100 Groove Points for the good guys
~Fin