On the Street Corner outside the collosium. Rock and Kyosuke continue their search for clues*
Kyosuke: Hmmm, it would appear everyone saw the same thing, Dan took Ran
Rock: Thats it! *clasps fist* DAN IS THE CULPRIT!
Kyosuke: No he isnt, he has an alibi
Rock: Get ahold of yourself Kyosuke, this is no time for a nap!
Kyosuke: Wha...huh?
Rock: Look, its Dan's sister Hibiki, that chick with the sword!
Kyosuke: Uh, I dont think
Rock: Hey Hibiki! *runs over*
Kyosuke: Wait rock!
Rock: Tell us were your sister is!
Hibiki: Back home in the past...
Rock: Time travel! Ah ha! Why did you take her?
Hibiki: But I didnt take her, I just left her there
Rock: That doesnt make any sense! Dont lie to me! Dont you know who I am, I am Rock Howard!
Hibiki: Yeah, I know who you are, so that story should make perfect sense to the likes of you
Kyosuke: Uhhh
Rock: What are you trying to say!
Kyosuke: Guys, I dont think....
Hibiki: That we arnt even suppose to be here
Rock: Ha! I dont know who dragged you to this tournament, but I know for a fact that.....
*A Capcom Executive suddenly parachutes in*
Executive: Im the bionic commando! Hiyah! Remember that game! Woo hoo! Look at me! *dances in the air* Hey hey hey! Wooo! *flies away*
Rock: What was up with that guy?
Kyosuke: He was odd
Hibiki: So, why are you guys asking me about my sister
Rock: Well someone looking like your brother has kidnapped her!
Hibiki: My brother, but Im not...
*Capcom executive flies back*
Exec: Hey now! None of that! Woo woo! Look at me, not at the story! *flies away*
Kyosuke: Damn, executives, when you work for Capcom it feels like your in an X-File episode, everybody is each others brother or clone, or whatever........or are they?
Rock: Well, at any case, if you see Ran, tell her to stop being lost
Hibiki: Will do, *walks off*
*A limo pulls up*
*Yamazaki, Terry, and Geese step out*
Robert: And remember, tell Dan Ran is being held at the old spooky house over on that hill
Terry: Tell Dan that?
Robert: Yeah, its a trap of course, but dont tell him that
Terry: *thumbs up* OK!
Yamazaki: Well, time to get the show on the road, I think the matches have already begun, Ill see if I can find Dan and tell'em
Yamazaki:*heads over to the entrance*
Kyosuke: Did you see that, it was Dan in that limo!
Rock: Terry! Who was that in the limo with you!
Terry: Huh, Rock!?!?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED YOUNG MAN! YOU MARCH YOUR BUTT RIGHT BACK HOME AND GET IN YOUR CRIB!
Rock: Huh? Terry?
Terry: Don't you give me no sass! *hold hand back threateningly*
Geese: Hey, who is this kid Terry?
Terry: Oh Geese, meet Rock, your illigidament son that I took under my wing when you died
Geese: Oh yeah? Which time?
Terry: Uhh, *counts* Third I think
Geese: Geez, you dont take a new kid everytime I die do you
Terry: no, this time you died for good though
Rock: STOP THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! THIS MAKES NO SENSE! YOU TOLD ME MY FATHER WAS DEAD, AND HE IS DEAD, THEN HOW CAN HE EXIST IN THE SAME TIME AS ME!?!?
Geese: .....
Terry: .....
Geese: I think the question at hand is how the hell your here
Rock: Oh thats simple, you see
*Capcom Exec stands on a picnic table*
Executive: Look at me! First person to see me wins a million dollars!
everyone: *looks*
Executive: Kidding!
Geese: Damn!
Terry: Lousey capcom scams, so what were we talking about?
Kyosuke: The person in that limo, who was he?
Terry: Oh that's Robert, he is planing to kill Dan
Kyosuke: No!! We got to tell him
Geese: Whoe! Whoe! Dont do that, we promised not to tell anyone, its a surprise
Terry: Well, I didnt promise, you promised
Geese: No, you promised too
Kyosuke: We have to do something Rock!
Rock: WE? You are just second banana, Im really the hero, I gonna do it all you see...
Blue Mary: THERE you are young man!
Rock: Huh?
Blue Mary: *grabs Rock's ear and twist* I turn my back for one second and you grow up and think you can galavant around with your father's friends? I am not raising no street fighter, you march right back into your room and you dont come out until you fit back into your dungaroos again! Why I got half the nerve to .......
*inside, at the buffet/bar*
Dan:*sitting at the table with Todo* And so I said, your not gonna pull that ole shower sex change trick on me like Ranma! WAAHAAHAA!
Todo: WAAHHAAHAA! Now thats what I call a sticky situation!
Announcer: Next match, Dan vs Ryo, the long awaited grudge match!
Dan: What!?!? Vs RYO! Finally I get to show him my stuff
Todo: But, what about your sister? Dont you want information
Dan: She can wait! Everyone has been waiting for this fight, we got this sweet ass intro for it too.
*Ryo is standing in the ring*
Dan: *looks at ring*
Ryo: *cracks knuckles*
*1000 of people in the audience await the intro of the famed Dan vs Ryo*
Dan: *clears throat and walks down the isle*
Capcom Executive: WAIT! DAN!! *runs up*
Exectuive: Dan Hibiki, I have here new orders for you! This is your contract, *hands over paper*
Audience: Awww
Dan: Huh?
Executive: We have decided that your not really a joke of Ryo, so you wont have a special intro, your a serious fighter now, a contender, congradulations!
Dan: .....*mouth agap*
Ryo: *jumps around a bit*
Dan: *nears ring*
Ryo: *becones Dan on, standard intro* Saa Quii!
Audience: *silence*
Dan: *silence*
Ryo: *silence*
Dan: *silence*
Audience: *silence*
Dan: *looks at papers, grabs microphone*
Dan: Ahem
Audience: *attention on Dan*
Dan: What I have here, are my new orders. It seems, that Im a serious fighter now. I can fight normally. My superiors say, the parody is cancelled, I'm a serious character now. All the tuants I have tuanted here, the laughes at me, were all in vain. But, Im serious now. All the ideals of, comedy, slapstick, parody, mean nothing. But Im a real fighter now. I however, will not be a serious fighter. Im gonna march up into that ring, and tuant that Shoto so HARD, that the next Shoto-wanna be is gonna feel it. Now, who wants to pick real characters...AND WHO WANTS TO PICK ME!!!!!!!
Audience: YAHHOOIII!!!!
Audience: YAY! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Announcer: OK, Fighters! Ready? FIGHT!
Ryo: hhyyaaahhh! *dashes at Dan*
Dan: Haaaaa! *dashes at Ryo*
Todo: Hhhooo! *dashes to the ringside seat*
Maki: Gggooo!! *dashes to the ladies room*
Raiden: Baarrggg!! *dashes to the hot dog stand*
Yamazaki: *running in* Hey, were is Dan I got a message for him?
Ken: He is in the ring fighting Ryo now, take a look
Dan: Heeyaa! *kicks*
Ryo: *blocks* dduraahh! *sweeps*
Dan: Hah! Predictable! *trips and tosses*
Ryo: Take this, Kouken! *throws fireball*
Dan: Gadoken!! *throws fireball, hitting Ryo's and cancelling it*
Ryo: Grr, Ill need to charge up! HHhhhhhyyyoooooohhhhhh! *begins to charge*
Dan: If you think Im gonna stand here like a DBZ character and let....you.......charge.....oooooo pretty color, wow, I cant stop watching it, its like a lavalamp
Ryo: I need to gather all of my energy... remember what master said
Takuma voice-over: Breath Ryo!
Ryo: *breathes*
Takuma: Concentrate.....
Ryo: hhhmmmm *concentrating*
Takuma: Gather your spirit
Ryo: hhhhhhmmmmm *gathering spirit*
Takuma: Your ready.... now
Ryo: Yay!
Takuma: Initiate Super Fire Blow!
Ryo: HoauShoKooKen! *fires giant fireball*
Dan: Ow! *gets hit and falls down*
Ryo: Victory!!
Crowd: YAAAYYY! CongraylaytonCongraylaytonCongraylaytonCongraylayton
CONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTON!!
Dan: *gets up*
Crowd: *storms ring and lifts Ryo up on theis shoulders* RYO RYO RYO
Dan: Wait! *dust himself off* Im ok, its not a knockout! It didn't really hurt that much!
Crowd: *carry's Ryo out of the arena and the mob flows outward as well, leaving only a few fighters still in the stands*
Dan: Wait! Im really ok! Look! Awww man
Yamazaki: Aww, that sucks, the man is always trying to keep us down....
Yamazaki: Anyway Dan, I gotta tell ya. Robert Garcia is setting you up in some house at a spooky hill or something
Dan: What?
Yamazaki: Yeah he wants to kill you
Dan: Well, thanks for telling me, Ill steer clear of spooky hills then
Yamazaki: Yeah no problem... oh wait he has your sister too..
Dan: RAN! We gotta go now! Lets go! *dashes off into the background*
Dan: Ran, here we come! *realizes he is alone in the dashing*
Dan: *dashes back towards Yamazaki*
Dan: Arnt you coming?
Yamazaki: What? Where?
Dan: To save my sister...
Yamazaki: I dont know your sister
Dan: Look man, I need help to beat up Robert
Yamazaki: Oh we jacking Robert? Hmm, that guy is loaded, Im in
Dan: Great!
Yamazaki: ......*stands there*
Dan: So?
Yamazaki: so what?
Dan: Go get your car!
Yamazaki: ......car? Oh, yeah, ok, Ill go get a car *walks off*
Dan: Meet me in front, *looks around* HEY JOE! COME QUICK, CHICKS IN DANGER!
Joe: *dashes out of locker room* Chicks? Where is that hot chick in danger!
Dan: *slaps Joe* Thats my sister your talking about! She is not hot!
Joe: Ow! Oh, your sister? I guess you wont let me bang her then
Dan: *slaps* Refrain from banging my sister!
Joe: Ow! Cut it out, *begins to walk off*
Dan: Hey where you going
Joe: Im gonna go rinse off, I ran outta the shower, Im still all lathery *rubs off some bubbles*
Dan: You gotta help me get Ran back!
Joe: No I dont
Dan: Yes you do
Joe: No I dont
Dan: Your my side kick
Joe: No Im not, I just hang around you because.... hey, why do I hang around you?
Dan: Cuz your my sidekick!
Joe: No, I always thought I was more like a co-star, Jin is the sidekick
Dan: No, you both are sidekicks
Joe: No, I disagree, me and Jin are like the chicks in Three's company, we are present always, but not dependant upon you
Dan: You mean those two lezzies?
Joe: No, one was a lez, the other was bi
Dan: Which one was the lez
Joe: The one with the short hair
Dan: Oh, the ugly one, that makes sense
Joe: Well I wouldnt call her the ugly one, I always favor brown hair over brunettes
Dan: ...huh?
Joe: I said I favor brownhair over brunettes
Dan: They are the same thing
Joe: No they arnt
Dan: Yes they are!
Joe: Look man, I dont care, Im not tagging along
Dan: What if we split into teams? I'll give you a gimick!
Joe: What do I look like, a completely original character created for the sole purpose of being a clone of an existing person? Such a character whose purpose is nothing more than to make an appearance and do his gimick, thus cementing in that my real life counterpart will have to like this story simply because he is in it, and I appear along side all other characters like me, so many that it is a little bit more than a coincidense that this story's biggest fans and supporters also make up the main cast of the series?
Dan: .........What the hell are you talking about?
Joe: Nothing
Dan: No really, what the hell are you talking about?
Joe: Im going to the showers man
Dan: Wait, don't you want to go with me? Yamazaki is coming! We're gonna ride in his car! And beat up Robert!
Joe: Robert Garcia?
Dan: Yup
Joe: He rich?
Dan: I guess
Joe: How much money you think he carry's on him
Dan: Enough to split three ways between us and make a profit
Joe: Whoe, you mean TWO ways, you getting your damn sister for this
Dan: Ok two ways, lets go
Elsewhere, Robert is taking his sports car into the woods*
Robert: Hahahaha, we are almost their Ran, the place were I will kill your brother! AND you! After I get done taking my pleasures from you, muhuahauhaha!!!
Ran: Oh! Can we do that first!
Robert: No your suppose to be scared! We are going to a scary house, Im a scary guy, we are on a scary hill, be scared! Ahhh, this turn is it *turns car*
Ran: *screams*
Robert: Oh my god....
*they are in a Walmart Parking lot*
Robert: Where the hell is my spooky house!?!?
Ran: Looks like its a Walmart
Robert: Nnnooo! *hits head against steering wheel*
Ran: Well they still got their halloween decorations up
Robert: Oooh, scary, SHUT UP
*back at the arena*
Dan: Yamazaki is suppose to pull his car around
*A phat black Oldsmobile pulls around*
Joe: Yo, whats up with the hoopty?
Yama: Get in
Dan: *gets in shotgun, notices the small Jesus statue on the dashbourd, and the crucifix dangling from the rearview mirror*
Joe: *gets in the back, pushes aside a box of Christian Rock tapes* What the hell is this?
Dan: You a religious man Yamazaki?
Yamazaki: Huh? Oh, yeah
And Elsewhere, and the Bogard residence
Blue Mary: *slaps Rock in the back of the head* No you march right back into your room and think about what you done, and I dont want to see you come out until your back to your normal size! And I dont want to hear no stories about how you go so big either, they will be no Capcom Fibs in my house!
Rock: But ma, I need to go beat up Kyosuke
Kyosuke: Shut up
Blue Mary: He is much older than you and you arnt gonna beat up such a nice boy *pets Kyosuke*
Kyosuke: *blushes*
Mary: Now... IN YOUR ROOM! *tosses Rock in his room*
Rock: *looks at his ninja turtle wallpaper*
*back in the living room, the fireplace is on, Mary cuts on Barry White*
Mary: Have a seat Kyosuke
Kyosuke: Uhh, thanks
Mary: Do you mind if I sit...
Kyosuke: Uhh, no, not at all
Mary: ....on your face?
Kyosuke: Uhhh, what?
Mary: RAR! *pounces on Kyosuke*
*The Oldmobile pulls into Walmart*
Yamazaki: This is the place
Dan: Are you sure, you said this was a spooky mansion
Joe: It was suppose to be, but it got paved over witha walmart, those things are popping up everywhere
Joe: They are of the devil I tell you, Mr. Walls, whoever he is, is SATAN HIMSELF!
Dan: I dont think the guys name is Walls, I think it is Sam, they have a franchise called Sam's Club
Joe: Yes, and Sam's Club cards are a MARK OF THE BEAST
Dan: How do you know so much Joe?
Joe: I was reading this book "Hell is on Earth: Buy this book" I found back here, author is some fatcat preacher man, you know anything about this Yamazaki?
Yamazaki: bout what?
Joe: Your book, you read it right?
Yama: Book? Oh, uh huh
Dan: Dude we are never going to find a parking spot....
*the next isle over*
Robert: Dammit, we have been here for hours and I still havnt found a parking spot
Ran: There are plenty over there *points away*
Robert: Oh, but then we have to walk!
Ran: Hey look, there is one!
Dan: Hey look! A spot!
Yama: I got it! *guns it*
Robert: You aint getting my spot! *guns it*
Yamazaki: Wanna play chicken eh? *goes faster*
Robert: Ahh! Come on sports car! Lets do it!
*Robert narrowly wins the space*
Yama: Dammit! Cripe! *flips off Robert*
Robert: Right back at you!
Dan: Dude, its Robert! AND RAN! Quick! Find a parking spot so we can get out!
Yamazaki: Im tryin!
Dan: Lets just park over there! *points away*
Joe: I aint walking all that far, you guys forget you got clothes on, I aint freezing off my man-set!
Dan: Oh come on you big baby
Joe: Nope, not me!
Yama: Cool it, there is a spot...
*Yamazaki plows the car over a shopping cart return spot, destroying a dozen carts and wrecking the place*
Dan: Whoe man! You wrecked your car
Yama: This isnt my car dude *takes knife out of ignition and exits the car*
Dan: Oh....but then...OH
Joe: What? Whats going on?
Dan: Nothing man, lets go
*Dan, Joe, and Yamazaki run over to the sports car*
Dan: Damn! They must have went inside, just missed them!
Yamazaki: *begins to scratch the car with his keys*
Joe: Can we hurry up and get in guys, Im starting to shrivel
Dan: Shrivel? Ha ha!
Joe: Shut up man, I dont want to be all like a scared turtle if some chick decides to to a fly check
Yamazaki: Fly check, whats that?
Joe: Well, you know when you walk around in your boxers in front of chicks
Yamazaki: No, I am in either of the two extremes of clothiedness in front of chicks, I dont galavant around in public in my drawers
Joe: Well, anyway you know the fly on your boxer shorts?
Yamazaki: Yeah uh huh
Joe: Well, the first time a chick encounters boxer shorts, they realize the presence of this fly, and the varying styles, buttoned fly, and free fly. They store this info in their memory, and deduct the truth, sometimes you flop out of your boxers
Dan: Guys can we go
Yama: Shut up Dan, I want to hear this
Joe: So whenever chicks get around men in their boxers, they try to get you to flop out, usually they just watch for a while, and then ask you to do tasks such as sit down in a chair, squat, do cartwheels, ect, ect, these tests are called fly checks
Yamazaki: So what do you do
Joe: Regardless on wether or not you want to show your member to this chick, you want to pass the checks, because it makes you look stupid if you dont. You really dont got to worry about being made fun of though, because chick never make a comment, they just stare blankly. If you fail and it falls out, let it hang and act completly oblivious, just hope it is in an currently in an impressive state. If you show them that you know you failed, they will laugh at you and become angered that you have teased them. To prevent fly checks failure right out, try to wear buttoned flys to ensure protection. However, everyone always seems to have a pair of free fly boxers, and I am wearing my pair today, I did not realize how cold it was. In this case, shift your boxers around to your right as far as you can go, like so *shifts boxers* Now my fly is in front of my right thigh, instead of in front of Lil Higashi. This method isn't fool proof, and as you walk long distances it shifts, and if you are are forced to perform repeated fly checks, like kick ups or belly dances, it shifts back more and more, so you should try to remove yourself from the fly check situation without alarming the females that you are on to them. If it seems that you are oblivious when you leave, they will feel like the failed, but if they know you know what they know about the knowledge of boxer shorts know-how, then they will become angered at you for teasing them, and that is usually how guys get killed.
Yamazaki: I see
Dan: Wow, that entire spiel was long and pointless, yet somehow, I couldn't help myself to hang on to its every word
Joe: It was your survival instinct telling you to listen
*Meanwhile, on the floor of the Bogard Residence*
Mary: sssiiigggghhhhhh wow, that was great, you young guys sure do have alot of stamina
Kyosuke: Uhh right, where did you throw my glasses?
Mary: I think they landed in the kitchen sink
Kyosuke: oh, Ill go get them when I can walk again
Mary: I think that was the best I ever had! No, wait, there was that time with Andy.
Kyosuke: Andy?
Mary: Yeah, I paid Mai to slip him some drugs and to leave the house for a while
Kyosuke: Wha, thats horrible!
Mary: Nah, not really. Chun Li does it all the time.
Kyosuke: How could Mai let you do that?
Mary: Mai got to have Terry, it was like a deal
Kyosuke: What? Are you guys swingers or something?
Mary: Nah, I just know that you shy and solemn fighters are always great in the sack, I should know, Ive had'em all, Andy, Remy, Ukyo, and now you!
Rock: *opens room door* Ok havn't I stayed in my room long enough oh my god Im gonna puke *goes back into his room*
Mary: So? Was I great eh?
Kyosuke: Huh? Oh, yes
Mary: The best? Be honest! Its like construtive critisim
Kyosuke: To be honest, you were my first
Mary: Oh wow thats so sweet!
Kyosuke: yeah, Im usually shy and insecure around girls
Mary: awwwww
Rock: *peeking out of his room* Mom, could you please like, clean yourself off or something so I can look upon you without wretching?
Mary: Sure honey
Rock: And Kyosuke, you evil scum, could you put something on?
Kyosuke: Sorry, your mom sliced my clothes up with a razor
Mary: Sorry, was in a rush
Rock: Dammit, well, cover up or something
Kyosuke: *fasten's Mary weight belt around himself*
Rock: Ok, can I come out of my room now ma?
Mary: Sure sure dear, sorry about before, I was a lil hot and bothered, but Im relaxed now. Im glad you grew into a hansome young man, even though it makes no sense how you did it
Rock: *steps out of his room* Ok, now, can I please kill Kyosuke now?
Mary: Nonsense! You play nice with your friend! He's a good fuck
Rock: Grrrrr! Mom, Im gonna have to tell Terry on you!
Mary: Terry? Whose that?
*at the tournament*
Terry: Huh? I felt like someone just walked over my grave...
Geese: I been there before
Announcer: NExt Fight... King vs Sagat!
Sagat: Hmmmm
King: Ha! Are you ready Sagat?
Sagat: yeah kid
King: Ok, but first, I think we should both do some stretching exercises
Sagat: What?
King: Can you do this? *does a cartwheel*
Sagat: What? Uhh ok.. *cartwheels*
Terry: Oh lordy, we're gonna be here all day
Geese: What? Why, what are they doing?
Terry: What? Joe never told you?
*speaking of Joe, back at the Walmart*
Joe: So we are at Walmart, lets make with the sister thing
Dan: lets go, *the trio walk inside the doors*
Dan: Excuse me, Mr. Door security guard, but did you see a guy looks just like me come in here with a cute and innocent...
Joe: ..slut
Dan: SCHOOLGIRL in tow? She is my sister and Im looking for her
Scurity guard: *is a 95 year old guy in a wheel chair*
Yamazaki: I dont think he heard you man
Dan: EXCUSE ME OFFICER, YOU SEEN A GUY LOOK LIKE ME?
Security Guard: *is still a 95 year old guy in a wheel chair*
Joe: Dude, lets just go *walks on*
Dan: Man, this place is huge! Where should we start looking
Yamazaki: Gun department
Dan: What? I know you cant buy a gun!
Yamazaki: I dont need to buy a gun, I can get a gun, I just need to buy some ammo
Joe: Yeah gun controls really work allright, I sure do feel safe... as safe as an individuals rights in america! And thats not safe at all!
Dan: Joe now is not the time for poltical satire
Joe: What? Im serious!
*Elsewhere in the store*
Ran: Hey Rob, lets go to underwear, I need a new thong, this one is worn all out
Robert: Shut up, we are in hiding! *are in the shoe department*
Ran: Oh come on, I need something to wear with this school uniform!
Robert: How about I smack you twice!?
Ran: WHAT A SCOOP
Robert: Shut up
*Elsewhere, at a diffrent entrance to Walmart*
Rock: *entering store* Hurry up and buy some new clothes, I have this thing about not beating up naked guys
Kyosuke: Yeah yeah, its not like I enjoy walking around in the nude, *adjust's Mary's belt*
Securty guard: *is a middle aged plump woman with a peg leg* OOooo shugah come home to momma!
Kyosuke: Oh my god run
Rock: Lets go! *takes off*
*The Hunting department*
Yamazaki: Lets see here...
Dan: I dont think my sister is here
Joe: what the? Deer Urine? Who wants to buy that kinda junk
Dan: I dunno, I guess some people are just freaky like that
Joe: *grabs a dropper* But its so expensive, I mean, I can pee a thousand times this amount for the price of the 24 pack *read label* Hmmm, this pee was brought to you by deer number 1477-a. Ooo thats a good deer for pee.
Dan: What? 20 bucks for some sticks that rub together?
Yamazaki: *picks up 3 boxes of shotgun shells* We will need these, grab a cart
Joe: Hmm *looks around* Oh, here is one....
Dan: But its already got someones stuff in it
Joe: No matter, *begins to empty the cart*
Rugal: Excuse me, but what are you doing to my cart?
Joe: Emptying it you dummy, why do you need all these things anyway? Beer, I can see that, needle and thread, why need that? Explosives? Huh?
Rugal: Me and Akuma plan on getting drunk together later and blowing up the roof of a castle, and then Im gonna rip up my clothes and get all crazy and go Ultimate
Joe: Yeah, well you are gonna have to do that without your cart
Rugal: How dare you!!
Joe: Oh yeah, eat this! *squirts deer pee into Rugal's eye*
Rugal: AAAAAHHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS!
*Kyosuke and Rock near the clothing section*
Kyosuke: Almost there, but it looks like we have to run through the womens underwear section!
Rock: Cant we go around?
Kyosuke: No, there is no time for that!
Rock: Right, remember, look straight ahead, not at any of the undergarments of the female type, and whatever you do, dont make eyecontact with any chicks in here, or you will be labeled a pervert
Kyosuke: I hope nobody sees me naked in the womens underwear section, they will think Im a pervert....
Rock: You are a pervert
*Rock and Kyosuke lock there eyes forward and hurridly go through the underwear section...passing right by Robert and Ran*
Ran: So what do you think about this one
Robert: *his hands over his eyes* I dunno, hurry up and get something so we can get outta here before people see me!
Ran: Hey cool a water bra!
Robert: Oh lordy
*back in the sporting goods, Dan is pushing an ever growing amount of goods*
Joe: Hmm, Medical tape! We gotta get some of this. Oooh, and a swiss army knife, I need one of these. And this belt that you can put shotgun shells in is good, and some peroxide.
Dan: Why do you need all this stuff Joe?
Joe: *his arms full of misc medical and hunting items* I have a plan, I will buy all of this survival gear like canteens, medical tape, bullets, knives, porn mags, basketballs, artritus pain medicine and the ilk, and create a suit out of it, a suit made out of survival gear, I will become Mr. SURVIVOR and I will not be able to die at all with all of the stuff that makes up my super survivor suit!
Yamazaki: What did we come in here for anyway?
Dan: Oh, we came in here for... oh cool look basketballs!
Dan: *grabs a basketball from a giant cage of basketballs, and the cage breaks and basketballs go everywhere* Yahooi!
Joe: hmmm, what is this guy? *picks up a harry potter toy*
Yamazaki: Oh, that is some guy called Pot-man
Joe: Really!? He doesn't look like a pot man
Yamazaki: Oh wait, I mean he is a Potter or something, I dunno, Mai's kid was talking something about that thing last night
Joe: Mai has a kid?
*Back at the tournament*
*A mini-van pulls up*
Mai: Ok, here I go, wish me luck hun *kisses Andy on the cheek*
Andy: Ok hun!
Mai: And take good of Fritzgerald
Andy: Dont worry I will, *looks at the baby in the chair in the back*
Mai: Bye bye!
Andy: *turns in his seat to look at the baby* Ok Fritzgerald, what do you want to do today?
Fritzgerald: ..........
Andy: Fritz?
Fritz: .......
Andy: Fritz? *nudges baby*
Fritz: *falls apart*
Andy: WAIT A MINUTE YOUR JUST A PUPPET!!
*Back at WalMart*
Kyosuke: So what do ya think about the new duds?
Rock: They look just like the old ones
Kyosuke: No they dont, check out the cufflinks
Rock: Hmmm? Oh yeah, didnt notice those, nice. *reads initials on cufflinks*
Rock: BAMF mean?
Kyosuke: Bad Ass Mother ...
Rock: Shut you mouth!
Kyosuke: Im just talkin bout myself
Rock: I dont wanna be reminded of what you did
Kyosuke: It was just natural, chicks cant help but dig the shy guy *shoots a smile*
Rock: What? Now your acting like a pimp or something... *sees Ran and Robert walking away*
Rock: Shinikes! look! Its Ran and Dan!
Kyosuke: Thats not Dan, thats Robert! *gets in fighting stance*
Rock: Let me handle this, *begins to dash at Robert*
*meanwhile, in the grocery department. frozen goods*
Yamazaki: Whip it!
Joe: And whip it good!
Yamazaki: *grabs a few bottles of whip cream*
Dan: Careful with them!
Joe: Whip it!
Yamazaki: And whip it good!
*Dan, Joe, and Yamazaki preform a ceremonious dance as they grab hand fulls of bottles of whip cream and sing "Whip it"*
Rock: Robert Garcia!!
Robert: Hmm? Yes? A fan?
Rock: Fan? FAN THIS! *punches Robert in the mouth*
Robert: OW! What was that for?
Rock: I am here to rescue the girl
Ran: Oooo sexy hero boy!
Rock: *smiles, teeth tinkle*
Robert: *wipes lip* Why you....
Kyosuke: *looks around* ......FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Kyosuke: Hmmm, it would appear everyone saw the same thing, Dan took Ran
Rock: Thats it! *clasps fist* DAN IS THE CULPRIT!
Kyosuke: No he isnt, he has an alibi
Rock: Get ahold of yourself Kyosuke, this is no time for a nap!
Kyosuke: Wha...huh?
Rock: Look, its Dan's sister Hibiki, that chick with the sword!
Kyosuke: Uh, I dont think
Rock: Hey Hibiki! *runs over*
Kyosuke: Wait rock!
Rock: Tell us were your sister is!
Hibiki: Back home in the past...
Rock: Time travel! Ah ha! Why did you take her?
Hibiki: But I didnt take her, I just left her there
Rock: That doesnt make any sense! Dont lie to me! Dont you know who I am, I am Rock Howard!
Hibiki: Yeah, I know who you are, so that story should make perfect sense to the likes of you
Kyosuke: Uhhh
Rock: What are you trying to say!
Kyosuke: Guys, I dont think....
Hibiki: That we arnt even suppose to be here
Rock: Ha! I dont know who dragged you to this tournament, but I know for a fact that.....
*A Capcom Executive suddenly parachutes in*
Executive: Im the bionic commando! Hiyah! Remember that game! Woo hoo! Look at me! *dances in the air* Hey hey hey! Wooo! *flies away*
Rock: What was up with that guy?
Kyosuke: He was odd
Hibiki: So, why are you guys asking me about my sister
Rock: Well someone looking like your brother has kidnapped her!
Hibiki: My brother, but Im not...
*Capcom executive flies back*
Exec: Hey now! None of that! Woo woo! Look at me, not at the story! *flies away*
Kyosuke: Damn, executives, when you work for Capcom it feels like your in an X-File episode, everybody is each others brother or clone, or whatever........or are they?
Rock: Well, at any case, if you see Ran, tell her to stop being lost
Hibiki: Will do, *walks off*
*A limo pulls up*
*Yamazaki, Terry, and Geese step out*
Robert: And remember, tell Dan Ran is being held at the old spooky house over on that hill
Terry: Tell Dan that?
Robert: Yeah, its a trap of course, but dont tell him that
Terry: *thumbs up* OK!
Yamazaki: Well, time to get the show on the road, I think the matches have already begun, Ill see if I can find Dan and tell'em
Yamazaki:*heads over to the entrance*
Kyosuke: Did you see that, it was Dan in that limo!
Rock: Terry! Who was that in the limo with you!
Terry: Huh, Rock!?!?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED YOUNG MAN! YOU MARCH YOUR BUTT RIGHT BACK HOME AND GET IN YOUR CRIB!
Rock: Huh? Terry?
Terry: Don't you give me no sass! *hold hand back threateningly*
Geese: Hey, who is this kid Terry?
Terry: Oh Geese, meet Rock, your illigidament son that I took under my wing when you died
Geese: Oh yeah? Which time?
Terry: Uhh, *counts* Third I think
Geese: Geez, you dont take a new kid everytime I die do you
Terry: no, this time you died for good though
Rock: STOP THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL! THIS MAKES NO SENSE! YOU TOLD ME MY FATHER WAS DEAD, AND HE IS DEAD, THEN HOW CAN HE EXIST IN THE SAME TIME AS ME!?!?
Geese: .....
Terry: .....
Geese: I think the question at hand is how the hell your here
Rock: Oh thats simple, you see
*Capcom Exec stands on a picnic table*
Executive: Look at me! First person to see me wins a million dollars!
everyone: *looks*
Executive: Kidding!
Geese: Damn!
Terry: Lousey capcom scams, so what were we talking about?
Kyosuke: The person in that limo, who was he?
Terry: Oh that's Robert, he is planing to kill Dan
Kyosuke: No!! We got to tell him
Geese: Whoe! Whoe! Dont do that, we promised not to tell anyone, its a surprise
Terry: Well, I didnt promise, you promised
Geese: No, you promised too
Kyosuke: We have to do something Rock!
Rock: WE? You are just second banana, Im really the hero, I gonna do it all you see...
Blue Mary: THERE you are young man!
Rock: Huh?
Blue Mary: *grabs Rock's ear and twist* I turn my back for one second and you grow up and think you can galavant around with your father's friends? I am not raising no street fighter, you march right back into your room and you dont come out until you fit back into your dungaroos again! Why I got half the nerve to .......
*inside, at the buffet/bar*
Dan:*sitting at the table with Todo* And so I said, your not gonna pull that ole shower sex change trick on me like Ranma! WAAHAAHAA!
Todo: WAAHHAAHAA! Now thats what I call a sticky situation!
Announcer: Next match, Dan vs Ryo, the long awaited grudge match!
Dan: What!?!? Vs RYO! Finally I get to show him my stuff
Todo: But, what about your sister? Dont you want information
Dan: She can wait! Everyone has been waiting for this fight, we got this sweet ass intro for it too.
*Ryo is standing in the ring*
Dan: *looks at ring*
Ryo: *cracks knuckles*
*1000 of people in the audience await the intro of the famed Dan vs Ryo*
Dan: *clears throat and walks down the isle*
Capcom Executive: WAIT! DAN!! *runs up*
Exectuive: Dan Hibiki, I have here new orders for you! This is your contract, *hands over paper*
Audience: Awww
Dan: Huh?
Executive: We have decided that your not really a joke of Ryo, so you wont have a special intro, your a serious fighter now, a contender, congradulations!
Dan: .....*mouth agap*
Ryo: *jumps around a bit*
Dan: *nears ring*
Ryo: *becones Dan on, standard intro* Saa Quii!
Audience: *silence*
Dan: *silence*
Ryo: *silence*
Dan: *silence*
Audience: *silence*
Dan: *looks at papers, grabs microphone*
Dan: Ahem
Audience: *attention on Dan*
Dan: What I have here, are my new orders. It seems, that Im a serious fighter now. I can fight normally. My superiors say, the parody is cancelled, I'm a serious character now. All the tuants I have tuanted here, the laughes at me, were all in vain. But, Im serious now. All the ideals of, comedy, slapstick, parody, mean nothing. But Im a real fighter now. I however, will not be a serious fighter. Im gonna march up into that ring, and tuant that Shoto so HARD, that the next Shoto-wanna be is gonna feel it. Now, who wants to pick real characters...AND WHO WANTS TO PICK ME!!!!!!!
Audience: YAHHOOIII!!!!
Audience: YAY! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
Announcer: OK, Fighters! Ready? FIGHT!
Ryo: hhyyaaahhh! *dashes at Dan*
Dan: Haaaaa! *dashes at Ryo*
Todo: Hhhooo! *dashes to the ringside seat*
Maki: Gggooo!! *dashes to the ladies room*
Raiden: Baarrggg!! *dashes to the hot dog stand*
Yamazaki: *running in* Hey, were is Dan I got a message for him?
Ken: He is in the ring fighting Ryo now, take a look
Dan: Heeyaa! *kicks*
Ryo: *blocks* dduraahh! *sweeps*
Dan: Hah! Predictable! *trips and tosses*
Ryo: Take this, Kouken! *throws fireball*
Dan: Gadoken!! *throws fireball, hitting Ryo's and cancelling it*
Ryo: Grr, Ill need to charge up! HHhhhhhyyyoooooohhhhhh! *begins to charge*
Dan: If you think Im gonna stand here like a DBZ character and let....you.......charge.....oooooo pretty color, wow, I cant stop watching it, its like a lavalamp
Ryo: I need to gather all of my energy... remember what master said
Takuma voice-over: Breath Ryo!
Ryo: *breathes*
Takuma: Concentrate.....
Ryo: hhhmmmm *concentrating*
Takuma: Gather your spirit
Ryo: hhhhhhmmmmm *gathering spirit*
Takuma: Your ready.... now
Ryo: Yay!
Takuma: Initiate Super Fire Blow!
Ryo: HoauShoKooKen! *fires giant fireball*
Dan: Ow! *gets hit and falls down*
Ryo: Victory!!
Crowd: YAAAYYY! CongraylaytonCongraylaytonCongraylaytonCongraylayton
CONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTONCONGRAYLAYTON!!
Dan: *gets up*
Crowd: *storms ring and lifts Ryo up on theis shoulders* RYO RYO RYO
Dan: Wait! *dust himself off* Im ok, its not a knockout! It didn't really hurt that much!
Crowd: *carry's Ryo out of the arena and the mob flows outward as well, leaving only a few fighters still in the stands*
Dan: Wait! Im really ok! Look! Awww man
Yamazaki: Aww, that sucks, the man is always trying to keep us down....
Yamazaki: Anyway Dan, I gotta tell ya. Robert Garcia is setting you up in some house at a spooky hill or something
Dan: What?
Yamazaki: Yeah he wants to kill you
Dan: Well, thanks for telling me, Ill steer clear of spooky hills then
Yamazaki: Yeah no problem... oh wait he has your sister too..
Dan: RAN! We gotta go now! Lets go! *dashes off into the background*
Dan: Ran, here we come! *realizes he is alone in the dashing*
Dan: *dashes back towards Yamazaki*
Dan: Arnt you coming?
Yamazaki: What? Where?
Dan: To save my sister...
Yamazaki: I dont know your sister
Dan: Look man, I need help to beat up Robert
Yamazaki: Oh we jacking Robert? Hmm, that guy is loaded, Im in
Dan: Great!
Yamazaki: ......*stands there*
Dan: So?
Yamazaki: so what?
Dan: Go get your car!
Yamazaki: ......car? Oh, yeah, ok, Ill go get a car *walks off*
Dan: Meet me in front, *looks around* HEY JOE! COME QUICK, CHICKS IN DANGER!
Joe: *dashes out of locker room* Chicks? Where is that hot chick in danger!
Dan: *slaps Joe* Thats my sister your talking about! She is not hot!
Joe: Ow! Oh, your sister? I guess you wont let me bang her then
Dan: *slaps* Refrain from banging my sister!
Joe: Ow! Cut it out, *begins to walk off*
Dan: Hey where you going
Joe: Im gonna go rinse off, I ran outta the shower, Im still all lathery *rubs off some bubbles*
Dan: You gotta help me get Ran back!
Joe: No I dont
Dan: Yes you do
Joe: No I dont
Dan: Your my side kick
Joe: No Im not, I just hang around you because.... hey, why do I hang around you?
Dan: Cuz your my sidekick!
Joe: No, I always thought I was more like a co-star, Jin is the sidekick
Dan: No, you both are sidekicks
Joe: No, I disagree, me and Jin are like the chicks in Three's company, we are present always, but not dependant upon you
Dan: You mean those two lezzies?
Joe: No, one was a lez, the other was bi
Dan: Which one was the lez
Joe: The one with the short hair
Dan: Oh, the ugly one, that makes sense
Joe: Well I wouldnt call her the ugly one, I always favor brown hair over brunettes
Dan: ...huh?
Joe: I said I favor brownhair over brunettes
Dan: They are the same thing
Joe: No they arnt
Dan: Yes they are!
Joe: Look man, I dont care, Im not tagging along
Dan: What if we split into teams? I'll give you a gimick!
Joe: What do I look like, a completely original character created for the sole purpose of being a clone of an existing person? Such a character whose purpose is nothing more than to make an appearance and do his gimick, thus cementing in that my real life counterpart will have to like this story simply because he is in it, and I appear along side all other characters like me, so many that it is a little bit more than a coincidense that this story's biggest fans and supporters also make up the main cast of the series?
Dan: .........What the hell are you talking about?
Joe: Nothing
Dan: No really, what the hell are you talking about?
Joe: Im going to the showers man
Dan: Wait, don't you want to go with me? Yamazaki is coming! We're gonna ride in his car! And beat up Robert!
Joe: Robert Garcia?
Dan: Yup
Joe: He rich?
Dan: I guess
Joe: How much money you think he carry's on him
Dan: Enough to split three ways between us and make a profit
Joe: Whoe, you mean TWO ways, you getting your damn sister for this
Dan: Ok two ways, lets go
Elsewhere, Robert is taking his sports car into the woods*
Robert: Hahahaha, we are almost their Ran, the place were I will kill your brother! AND you! After I get done taking my pleasures from you, muhuahauhaha!!!
Ran: Oh! Can we do that first!
Robert: No your suppose to be scared! We are going to a scary house, Im a scary guy, we are on a scary hill, be scared! Ahhh, this turn is it *turns car*
Ran: *screams*
Robert: Oh my god....
*they are in a Walmart Parking lot*
Robert: Where the hell is my spooky house!?!?
Ran: Looks like its a Walmart
Robert: Nnnooo! *hits head against steering wheel*
Ran: Well they still got their halloween decorations up
Robert: Oooh, scary, SHUT UP
*back at the arena*
Dan: Yamazaki is suppose to pull his car around
*A phat black Oldsmobile pulls around*
Joe: Yo, whats up with the hoopty?
Yama: Get in
Dan: *gets in shotgun, notices the small Jesus statue on the dashbourd, and the crucifix dangling from the rearview mirror*
Joe: *gets in the back, pushes aside a box of Christian Rock tapes* What the hell is this?
Dan: You a religious man Yamazaki?
Yamazaki: Huh? Oh, yeah
And Elsewhere, and the Bogard residence
Blue Mary: *slaps Rock in the back of the head* No you march right back into your room and think about what you done, and I dont want to see you come out until your back to your normal size! And I dont want to hear no stories about how you go so big either, they will be no Capcom Fibs in my house!
Rock: But ma, I need to go beat up Kyosuke
Kyosuke: Shut up
Blue Mary: He is much older than you and you arnt gonna beat up such a nice boy *pets Kyosuke*
Kyosuke: *blushes*
Mary: Now... IN YOUR ROOM! *tosses Rock in his room*
Rock: *looks at his ninja turtle wallpaper*
*back in the living room, the fireplace is on, Mary cuts on Barry White*
Mary: Have a seat Kyosuke
Kyosuke: Uhh, thanks
Mary: Do you mind if I sit...
Kyosuke: Uhh, no, not at all
Mary: ....on your face?
Kyosuke: Uhhh, what?
Mary: RAR! *pounces on Kyosuke*
*The Oldmobile pulls into Walmart*
Yamazaki: This is the place
Dan: Are you sure, you said this was a spooky mansion
Joe: It was suppose to be, but it got paved over witha walmart, those things are popping up everywhere
Joe: They are of the devil I tell you, Mr. Walls, whoever he is, is SATAN HIMSELF!
Dan: I dont think the guys name is Walls, I think it is Sam, they have a franchise called Sam's Club
Joe: Yes, and Sam's Club cards are a MARK OF THE BEAST
Dan: How do you know so much Joe?
Joe: I was reading this book "Hell is on Earth: Buy this book" I found back here, author is some fatcat preacher man, you know anything about this Yamazaki?
Yamazaki: bout what?
Joe: Your book, you read it right?
Yama: Book? Oh, uh huh
Dan: Dude we are never going to find a parking spot....
*the next isle over*
Robert: Dammit, we have been here for hours and I still havnt found a parking spot
Ran: There are plenty over there *points away*
Robert: Oh, but then we have to walk!
Ran: Hey look, there is one!
Dan: Hey look! A spot!
Yama: I got it! *guns it*
Robert: You aint getting my spot! *guns it*
Yamazaki: Wanna play chicken eh? *goes faster*
Robert: Ahh! Come on sports car! Lets do it!
*Robert narrowly wins the space*
Yama: Dammit! Cripe! *flips off Robert*
Robert: Right back at you!
Dan: Dude, its Robert! AND RAN! Quick! Find a parking spot so we can get out!
Yamazaki: Im tryin!
Dan: Lets just park over there! *points away*
Joe: I aint walking all that far, you guys forget you got clothes on, I aint freezing off my man-set!
Dan: Oh come on you big baby
Joe: Nope, not me!
Yama: Cool it, there is a spot...
*Yamazaki plows the car over a shopping cart return spot, destroying a dozen carts and wrecking the place*
Dan: Whoe man! You wrecked your car
Yama: This isnt my car dude *takes knife out of ignition and exits the car*
Dan: Oh....but then...OH
Joe: What? Whats going on?
Dan: Nothing man, lets go
*Dan, Joe, and Yamazaki run over to the sports car*
Dan: Damn! They must have went inside, just missed them!
Yamazaki: *begins to scratch the car with his keys*
Joe: Can we hurry up and get in guys, Im starting to shrivel
Dan: Shrivel? Ha ha!
Joe: Shut up man, I dont want to be all like a scared turtle if some chick decides to to a fly check
Yamazaki: Fly check, whats that?
Joe: Well, you know when you walk around in your boxers in front of chicks
Yamazaki: No, I am in either of the two extremes of clothiedness in front of chicks, I dont galavant around in public in my drawers
Joe: Well, anyway you know the fly on your boxer shorts?
Yamazaki: Yeah uh huh
Joe: Well, the first time a chick encounters boxer shorts, they realize the presence of this fly, and the varying styles, buttoned fly, and free fly. They store this info in their memory, and deduct the truth, sometimes you flop out of your boxers
Dan: Guys can we go
Yama: Shut up Dan, I want to hear this
Joe: So whenever chicks get around men in their boxers, they try to get you to flop out, usually they just watch for a while, and then ask you to do tasks such as sit down in a chair, squat, do cartwheels, ect, ect, these tests are called fly checks
Yamazaki: So what do you do
Joe: Regardless on wether or not you want to show your member to this chick, you want to pass the checks, because it makes you look stupid if you dont. You really dont got to worry about being made fun of though, because chick never make a comment, they just stare blankly. If you fail and it falls out, let it hang and act completly oblivious, just hope it is in an currently in an impressive state. If you show them that you know you failed, they will laugh at you and become angered that you have teased them. To prevent fly checks failure right out, try to wear buttoned flys to ensure protection. However, everyone always seems to have a pair of free fly boxers, and I am wearing my pair today, I did not realize how cold it was. In this case, shift your boxers around to your right as far as you can go, like so *shifts boxers* Now my fly is in front of my right thigh, instead of in front of Lil Higashi. This method isn't fool proof, and as you walk long distances it shifts, and if you are are forced to perform repeated fly checks, like kick ups or belly dances, it shifts back more and more, so you should try to remove yourself from the fly check situation without alarming the females that you are on to them. If it seems that you are oblivious when you leave, they will feel like the failed, but if they know you know what they know about the knowledge of boxer shorts know-how, then they will become angered at you for teasing them, and that is usually how guys get killed.
Yamazaki: I see
Dan: Wow, that entire spiel was long and pointless, yet somehow, I couldn't help myself to hang on to its every word
Joe: It was your survival instinct telling you to listen
*Meanwhile, on the floor of the Bogard Residence*
Mary: sssiiigggghhhhhh wow, that was great, you young guys sure do have alot of stamina
Kyosuke: Uhh right, where did you throw my glasses?
Mary: I think they landed in the kitchen sink
Kyosuke: oh, Ill go get them when I can walk again
Mary: I think that was the best I ever had! No, wait, there was that time with Andy.
Kyosuke: Andy?
Mary: Yeah, I paid Mai to slip him some drugs and to leave the house for a while
Kyosuke: Wha, thats horrible!
Mary: Nah, not really. Chun Li does it all the time.
Kyosuke: How could Mai let you do that?
Mary: Mai got to have Terry, it was like a deal
Kyosuke: What? Are you guys swingers or something?
Mary: Nah, I just know that you shy and solemn fighters are always great in the sack, I should know, Ive had'em all, Andy, Remy, Ukyo, and now you!
Rock: *opens room door* Ok havn't I stayed in my room long enough oh my god Im gonna puke *goes back into his room*
Mary: So? Was I great eh?
Kyosuke: Huh? Oh, yes
Mary: The best? Be honest! Its like construtive critisim
Kyosuke: To be honest, you were my first
Mary: Oh wow thats so sweet!
Kyosuke: yeah, Im usually shy and insecure around girls
Mary: awwwww
Rock: *peeking out of his room* Mom, could you please like, clean yourself off or something so I can look upon you without wretching?
Mary: Sure honey
Rock: And Kyosuke, you evil scum, could you put something on?
Kyosuke: Sorry, your mom sliced my clothes up with a razor
Mary: Sorry, was in a rush
Rock: Dammit, well, cover up or something
Kyosuke: *fasten's Mary weight belt around himself*
Rock: Ok, can I come out of my room now ma?
Mary: Sure sure dear, sorry about before, I was a lil hot and bothered, but Im relaxed now. Im glad you grew into a hansome young man, even though it makes no sense how you did it
Rock: *steps out of his room* Ok, now, can I please kill Kyosuke now?
Mary: Nonsense! You play nice with your friend! He's a good fuck
Rock: Grrrrr! Mom, Im gonna have to tell Terry on you!
Mary: Terry? Whose that?
*at the tournament*
Terry: Huh? I felt like someone just walked over my grave...
Geese: I been there before
Announcer: NExt Fight... King vs Sagat!
Sagat: Hmmmm
King: Ha! Are you ready Sagat?
Sagat: yeah kid
King: Ok, but first, I think we should both do some stretching exercises
Sagat: What?
King: Can you do this? *does a cartwheel*
Sagat: What? Uhh ok.. *cartwheels*
Terry: Oh lordy, we're gonna be here all day
Geese: What? Why, what are they doing?
Terry: What? Joe never told you?
*speaking of Joe, back at the Walmart*
Joe: So we are at Walmart, lets make with the sister thing
Dan: lets go, *the trio walk inside the doors*
Dan: Excuse me, Mr. Door security guard, but did you see a guy looks just like me come in here with a cute and innocent...
Joe: ..slut
Dan: SCHOOLGIRL in tow? She is my sister and Im looking for her
Scurity guard: *is a 95 year old guy in a wheel chair*
Yamazaki: I dont think he heard you man
Dan: EXCUSE ME OFFICER, YOU SEEN A GUY LOOK LIKE ME?
Security Guard: *is still a 95 year old guy in a wheel chair*
Joe: Dude, lets just go *walks on*
Dan: Man, this place is huge! Where should we start looking
Yamazaki: Gun department
Dan: What? I know you cant buy a gun!
Yamazaki: I dont need to buy a gun, I can get a gun, I just need to buy some ammo
Joe: Yeah gun controls really work allright, I sure do feel safe... as safe as an individuals rights in america! And thats not safe at all!
Dan: Joe now is not the time for poltical satire
Joe: What? Im serious!
*Elsewhere in the store*
Ran: Hey Rob, lets go to underwear, I need a new thong, this one is worn all out
Robert: Shut up, we are in hiding! *are in the shoe department*
Ran: Oh come on, I need something to wear with this school uniform!
Robert: How about I smack you twice!?
Ran: WHAT A SCOOP
Robert: Shut up
*Elsewhere, at a diffrent entrance to Walmart*
Rock: *entering store* Hurry up and buy some new clothes, I have this thing about not beating up naked guys
Kyosuke: Yeah yeah, its not like I enjoy walking around in the nude, *adjust's Mary's belt*
Securty guard: *is a middle aged plump woman with a peg leg* OOooo shugah come home to momma!
Kyosuke: Oh my god run
Rock: Lets go! *takes off*
*The Hunting department*
Yamazaki: Lets see here...
Dan: I dont think my sister is here
Joe: what the? Deer Urine? Who wants to buy that kinda junk
Dan: I dunno, I guess some people are just freaky like that
Joe: *grabs a dropper* But its so expensive, I mean, I can pee a thousand times this amount for the price of the 24 pack *read label* Hmmm, this pee was brought to you by deer number 1477-a. Ooo thats a good deer for pee.
Dan: What? 20 bucks for some sticks that rub together?
Yamazaki: *picks up 3 boxes of shotgun shells* We will need these, grab a cart
Joe: Hmm *looks around* Oh, here is one....
Dan: But its already got someones stuff in it
Joe: No matter, *begins to empty the cart*
Rugal: Excuse me, but what are you doing to my cart?
Joe: Emptying it you dummy, why do you need all these things anyway? Beer, I can see that, needle and thread, why need that? Explosives? Huh?
Rugal: Me and Akuma plan on getting drunk together later and blowing up the roof of a castle, and then Im gonna rip up my clothes and get all crazy and go Ultimate
Joe: Yeah, well you are gonna have to do that without your cart
Rugal: How dare you!!
Joe: Oh yeah, eat this! *squirts deer pee into Rugal's eye*
Rugal: AAAAAHHHHH IT BURNS IT BURNS!
*Kyosuke and Rock near the clothing section*
Kyosuke: Almost there, but it looks like we have to run through the womens underwear section!
Rock: Cant we go around?
Kyosuke: No, there is no time for that!
Rock: Right, remember, look straight ahead, not at any of the undergarments of the female type, and whatever you do, dont make eyecontact with any chicks in here, or you will be labeled a pervert
Kyosuke: I hope nobody sees me naked in the womens underwear section, they will think Im a pervert....
Rock: You are a pervert
*Rock and Kyosuke lock there eyes forward and hurridly go through the underwear section...passing right by Robert and Ran*
Ran: So what do you think about this one
Robert: *his hands over his eyes* I dunno, hurry up and get something so we can get outta here before people see me!
Ran: Hey cool a water bra!
Robert: Oh lordy
*back in the sporting goods, Dan is pushing an ever growing amount of goods*
Joe: Hmm, Medical tape! We gotta get some of this. Oooh, and a swiss army knife, I need one of these. And this belt that you can put shotgun shells in is good, and some peroxide.
Dan: Why do you need all this stuff Joe?
Joe: *his arms full of misc medical and hunting items* I have a plan, I will buy all of this survival gear like canteens, medical tape, bullets, knives, porn mags, basketballs, artritus pain medicine and the ilk, and create a suit out of it, a suit made out of survival gear, I will become Mr. SURVIVOR and I will not be able to die at all with all of the stuff that makes up my super survivor suit!
Yamazaki: What did we come in here for anyway?
Dan: Oh, we came in here for... oh cool look basketballs!
Dan: *grabs a basketball from a giant cage of basketballs, and the cage breaks and basketballs go everywhere* Yahooi!
Joe: hmmm, what is this guy? *picks up a harry potter toy*
Yamazaki: Oh, that is some guy called Pot-man
Joe: Really!? He doesn't look like a pot man
Yamazaki: Oh wait, I mean he is a Potter or something, I dunno, Mai's kid was talking something about that thing last night
Joe: Mai has a kid?
*Back at the tournament*
*A mini-van pulls up*
Mai: Ok, here I go, wish me luck hun *kisses Andy on the cheek*
Andy: Ok hun!
Mai: And take good of Fritzgerald
Andy: Dont worry I will, *looks at the baby in the chair in the back*
Mai: Bye bye!
Andy: *turns in his seat to look at the baby* Ok Fritzgerald, what do you want to do today?
Fritzgerald: ..........
Andy: Fritz?
Fritz: .......
Andy: Fritz? *nudges baby*
Fritz: *falls apart*
Andy: WAIT A MINUTE YOUR JUST A PUPPET!!
*Back at WalMart*
Kyosuke: So what do ya think about the new duds?
Rock: They look just like the old ones
Kyosuke: No they dont, check out the cufflinks
Rock: Hmmm? Oh yeah, didnt notice those, nice. *reads initials on cufflinks*
Rock: BAMF mean?
Kyosuke: Bad Ass Mother ...
Rock: Shut you mouth!
Kyosuke: Im just talkin bout myself
Rock: I dont wanna be reminded of what you did
Kyosuke: It was just natural, chicks cant help but dig the shy guy *shoots a smile*
Rock: What? Now your acting like a pimp or something... *sees Ran and Robert walking away*
Rock: Shinikes! look! Its Ran and Dan!
Kyosuke: Thats not Dan, thats Robert! *gets in fighting stance*
Rock: Let me handle this, *begins to dash at Robert*
*meanwhile, in the grocery department. frozen goods*
Yamazaki: Whip it!
Joe: And whip it good!
Yamazaki: *grabs a few bottles of whip cream*
Dan: Careful with them!
Joe: Whip it!
Yamazaki: And whip it good!
*Dan, Joe, and Yamazaki preform a ceremonious dance as they grab hand fulls of bottles of whip cream and sing "Whip it"*
Rock: Robert Garcia!!
Robert: Hmm? Yes? A fan?
Rock: Fan? FAN THIS! *punches Robert in the mouth*
Robert: OW! What was that for?
Rock: I am here to rescue the girl
Ran: Oooo sexy hero boy!
Rock: *smiles, teeth tinkle*
Robert: *wipes lip* Why you....
Kyosuke: *looks around* ......FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!